Original subtitles

Round here, when the weather is nice, this place is like a paradise.

All the bad melts away like a cheap ice cream.

All that matters on this kind of day is catching a vibe

and forgetting what's bothering you.

That's me and Collette,

my cousin,

my bestie.

Proper bad gyal.

She was the most maggi dancer in Crongton.

Except me, obviously.

LAUGHTER

She was always laughing.

She had the dirtiest, sneezy laugh -

like someone kicked a bagpipe up some stairs.

Together, we was gonna do stuff.

We had radical ideas. CHEERING

We was more like sisters than cousins.

Me and Collette was always together.

Until...

everything changed.

Everything went grey and laughter stopped.

Feeling stopped.

Never even cried.

Since then, it's been numb.

I've been...

LOUD EXHALATION

...a whole year today, but I ain't letting it get me down.

I have to be strong. I'm all about celebrating what was good.

So that's what I'm gonna do. For Collette.

DAD HUMS TUNE Hey, Dad!

Every day! Can you knock?

I mean, privacy.

HE LAUGHS

Priva-what? Inna my own castle?

Hey, I know she yuh crazy, eh.

Listen, you better get dressed. Lots to do.

Big day.

INDISTINCT SHOUTING

Eat all your food, eh?

Plenty of energy needed today for church.

We pray a whole day for Collette's soul.

Oh! Praise be to the one and only lord father God!

Yes, Lord, hallelujah!

Yes, Lord!

Oh, hallelujah!

Ha-ha! Jesus!

Ooh! Mmm. Mm-mm.

GIRLS, TOGETHER: What are you wearing?

Shorts to church - you mad?

Bag of skin and thigh make Jesus blush!

Can I come to church later, please?

I don't want to spend the whole day there. My friends

are having a picnic. You know what today is?

You can't miss your cousin's homegoing.

I'm not gonna miss anything. Can I just

have a nice day before...?

Please. You have a chaperone? Hmm? Can't go by yourself.

I'm 13!

I don't need a chaperone.

Dad!

Please.

I don't see any problem.

She's not a little girl any more.

She should have independence.

Just don't miss your tribute for your cousin.

Shall we pray and eat?

Lord God heavenly Father, you have blessed us with a meal today.

BABY CRIES THROUGHOUT

Shut up, man.

Lemar!

It's not what it looks like. Are you stealing?

No. Him a liccle teefing boy!

Like, how can you steal from your own family?

I... I was just... Just what? You were just...?

I was... Just...? I was just... Just put it back!

I found money on the street. Now! I was already... Mm-hm?

Now, get out of my sight.

What a piece of liberty.

I agree.

Lemar, wait.

No, Gran, I... Buy yourself a liccle something.

And don't ever take money what don't belong to you, you idiot pickney.

If you want money, you ask me.

Now gwan, before your mother see.

Shucks!

I was just trying to get money to Jerome.

BOTH: Dad? Oh!

You are so spooky, uh?

BOTH: What if something happens to her?

You should make sure she's OK.

Hmm, hmm.

Right.

VENETIA: Some people see life as a fight, or a race.

Me? I see it as a dance.

FUNKY MUSIC SOUNDTRACK

INDISTINCT CHAT

Look at my water gun, I'm gonna drench you!

No, you're not. yes, I am! Say swear, I will.

'Sup?! This is bad.

This is bad, this is bad! Muy mal. Major problemo.

What's chewing his gum? Oh, we're doomed.

I got a message from one of my spies.

You don't have any spies. Yes, I do have spies!

Shut your stinking lips.

So, are you gonna tell us?

As I was about to say...

During reconnaissance of North Crong - which

I instruct my spies to do on a regular, for safety -

they found out there's been a leak.

Someone's told them about our picnic and water fight,

and now they're planning a siege.

My spies tell me they have water cannons.

They want to show that they're the kings of Crong.

Wait, aren't these the same spies that told you what happened to Mo?

Shush! Shush!

What? I smell lies. You ain't got no spies.

Wait, what's happening?

Mo is a cursed name.

Don't even say it in jest.

Besides, why would I lie at a time like this?

Picnic is cancelled!

Sit back down! So what are we gonna do?

What do you mean? We stand down. I'm too young to go to war.

We're just normal kids. We're just innocent kids.

We can just go to the Cheesecake Lounge. It's not that deep.

Yeah! No!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

This is supposed to be our special day of fun.

Yeah? And they can't take that away from us,

and we can't be scared. Not today.

On today of all days,

if it's a water war them want, then it's a water war them fi get!

OK, you two, look out from here.

If you see anything, you blow up the group, OK?

You, get in position here

and when they're in the splash zone, you...

Hello! Please, not in these trying times.

Do you receive? I receive. I'm so good at receiving.

I receive everything.

I receive information so well.

OK, you guys wait in position while we try and get supplies.

What kind of supplies? Snacks! Being a spy is hungry work.

No. We're going to see what we can get from Juniper's shop.

And then we'll make a mix and spray them. Ultimate weapon.

We should get Scotch bonnet. That's the best.

One time, I was, like, cutting Scotch bonnet, yeah?

And then I forgot to wash my hands and then after that I had to, um...

Do you know what? Never mind.

OK. Yeah.

Anyway, this is our moment for glory.

We're gonna show them we don't afraid of them, yeah?

South Crong cannot be got!

OTHERS: Yeah!

INDISTINCT CHAT

So, what's so important about today?

It's the one-year anniversary of Collette getting deleted.

Oh, sorry. I didn't know. It's all right.

You know, like, with your dad, do you ever feel, like...

...guilty? Why would I feel guilty?

Because, like, you're OK

and he's... You can't feel guilty about stuff like that.

You're here to live, not feel guilty for living.

Are you OK? Yeah, I'm actually really good.

Collette wouldn't want me being sad.

She'd want me to keep it moving.

And I have to be strong.

We promised each other that we were gonna get out

and take a bite out of the world.

So that's what I'm going to do, isn't it?

And I can't let some little North Crong fools ruin my day.

Uh-huh.

Mm-hm. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Am vorbit cu el despre asta prima data.

Juniper, hi!

Have I "spenge" written on my face or what?

I don't care what he said. He wants the bat milk, he knows the price.

Do you know how hard it is to milk bats?

We need your help. There's a Crongton war that's about...

Follow me.

We want to make a weapon, but the kind that will make them

think twice about ever trying to step to us again.

Excelsior.

Cheesus crust! This is too far.

We just wanted something to mix and put into our water guns.

Forget you saw this.

I have loads of stuff to stain their clothes.

Scorpion sauce,

durian fruit,

elephant dung.

The tears of your enemies,

and rotten tomatoes.

Mix them in with water and they'll never come back.

Anything else you need? We need something sticky.

Something that they won't be able to get out if they tried to clean it.

Yeah. African honey badger honey.

The stickiest natural substance known to man.

I use it on the tiles.

That looks like a lot. We can't afford that.

Juniper! We're not going to steal from your family's shop.

Steal? Who said steal? My gift. You can take, no problem.

MAN'S VOICE: Have fun!

If you die, don't come home. It's embarrassing.

CLAP OF THUNDER

So, if you got deleted, what would you be OK with me having?

How dare you? All I'm saying is that if you get deleted,

I should get something. What if you get deleted? That means

I should get something, right? Ah!

Why would you wish deletion upon me?

You wished deletion upon me first! Don't tempt fate like that.

This is serious. This is the biggest water war Crongton has ever seen.

Some of us might not make it back. Yeah, like you.

RAPID PANTS

Yo, he's out of breath, he's never out of breath. He's never out

of breath! What happened? They're coming!

North Crong!

Now is no time to possum!

PHONE VIBRATES

Shucks. North Crong have almost reached, we have to get there.

They can't win the war without us, they're sitting ducks.

I think someone's following us. Where?

There!

Dad!

What are you doing?

No way.

War? Eh? You never said anything about any war.

I is here to make sure you're OK, huh? You were following me?

No. Not for the whole day, anyway. You said I could go out with my

friends. You literally said... You are just a little girl.

I'm not a little girl. Venetia, listen... No, you listen.

I can take care of myself

and I'm grown enough not to be stupid.

But what if something happens to you? Then I'll handle it.

But I won't learn how to do that unless you let me.

Come on, guys.

If you don't make it, tell Saira I think she's peng.

No, tell her I think she's peng. But also a great person.

Hello! I think we're here.

Cowards! They fled. We're not cowards!

Guys, get up, come! Come on, guys.

Come on, I need a gun, I need a gun!

We're coming! What took you so long? We were getting the secret weapon.

JUNIPER: We're going to need to use one of you as bait.

Shucks.

HE BREATHES HEAVILY HEARTBEAT SOUND EFFECT

THUNDER RUMBLES

You the best South Crong's got?

We came for war and they only sent you?

South Crong in the mud. Get 'em!

ALL SHOUT

Now!

SHRIEKING

Yo, wet him up, man, let's get him!

Man down! Man down! We've got one, we've got one!

VENETIA: Release the secret weapon!

SHRIEKING THROUGHOUT

INDISTINCT SHOUTING

Retreat, retreat! We'll be back for revenge!

Just wait for Crongton Games! A pox on you!

LICCLE BIT: We are honestly SO impressive! We won!

Wow, yes, we actually beat them. Go, go!

Agh! It's...

...hard to breathe.

What? No, you're fine. WEAKLY: Tell my family I love them.

Let the world know... HE INHALES SHARPLY

...of my sacrifice.

Ah!

Cheesecake Lounge? Huh? What?

VENETIA: Last one there's a stinky fart!

THEY SPEAK OVER EACH OTHER

They were running! But we actually cooked them!

Are we heroes? Because I think we're heroes. Come on, like...

Saving South Crong from the clutches of tyranny? Yeah, we are. Yeah.

Wait, is tyranny a word?

Read a book, you shackle-back.

Our doshas are cleansed with the blood of our enemies.

RAPID: OK, OK, dosha definitely ain't a word.

You're so smart and brave. Were you not scared?

I'm done being scared. Anyone else want another slice?

Here. My treat. Get some cheesecake.

Where did you get this money from? My uncle died.

This is what he would have wanted.

Oh. Sorry.

Your uncle did not die. Sh!

We destroyed them, we annihilated them!

They couldn't stand a chance. Honestly.

Destroyed them!

I've never seen you outside of the church before.

I assumed that you lived there.

Yeah, nah, not quite, but I'm there so much I should pay rent.

Mm-hm. So what happened to you, then? It looks like you had

an interesting day. Yeah, just a little water fight.

Did you win? Me and my friends destroyed North Crong!

No way! You lot destroyed North Crong? Mm-hm.

You're my hero. Listen,

I wanna say something about your cousin at church.

Is it cool if I run it by you first? You know? I don't wanna embarrass

myself, especially not in front of you. Yeah, sure, all right.

It's a bit loud in here. Let's go somewhere quieter, you know?

I get shy. And then you can tell me all about your heroics.

Yeah.

It was like we had them trapped.

And then they ran away screaming like "argh"!

Too funny.

What are you doing? Don't worry. I just wanted to get you alone.

DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE

This is decky, man. Just let me talk to you, innit?

Let go of me, you dirty creeper!

Oi! Don't be talking reckless when it's just you, you know.

You don't have your friends here to back you up.

What are you doing?

People like you make me sick.

You think you're all nice and charming, but you ain't.

And you know what? I don't need anyone to defend me,

because I can do that myself.

There she is.

Are you OK? Yeah.

Good. You don't have to be good, you know.

If that's not what you actually feel, you don't have to pretend.

You can be strong and not OK at the same time.

Come here.

Yeah. I think you're right.

I'd better go, actually.

Where are you going? I'm going to do something

I've been putting off for a while.

And the lion say, "Donkey, I going to lick you down

"and bust your head". HE LAUGHS

But the donkey wasn't afraid.

So the lion give the donkey two upper-cuts. He-he!

Mercy, Jesus.

He tinks that the donkey dead,

but the lion start to celebrate too soon.

Amen. CONGREGATION: Amen!

Psalm 27, verse one.

The Lord is my light and my salvation.

Of whom shall I be afraid?

About time you got here! Dad, I'm sorry.

The evil now come upon me to eat my flesh, they will stumble and fall!

Amen! CONGREGATION: Amen!

Thank you.

And now, a tribute from Collette's cousin, Venetia.

Come on, Venetia!

SHE CLEARS THROAT

Er, I can't believe it's been a year since...

I-I can't...

I miss... I miss...

Take your time.

VENETIA HEARS LAUGHTER

The world can be a scary place,

but Collette wouldn't want fear to win.

She would want life to win.

So, for her, all of us,

we have to promise to live.

To cackle like witches.

To enjoy every moment.

And not let fear

stop you from doing what you want.

It never stopped Collette and if she was here,

she would tell us to dance to the beat of our own music...

...and to not be scared to live.

Thank you.

Woo!

She would be proud of you, you know that?

I know I am.

Thanks, Dad.

Listen,

I know you is growing up, right?

But just remember,

you don't have to grow too fast.

You'll always be my little girl, you know that?

No matter how grown you get.

Can you pass me the plantain, please, my love?

VOICEOVER: People feel the need to put on a brave face.

Not just for them, for people around them, too,

so that people don't worry.

You don't have to pretend that everything's fine when it's not.

Being vulnerable is also being strong.

And strength comes in so many different forms.

This place is a village

and people are always there to help,

even if it's in ways you don't expect.

SOBBING

Embrace you.

Everything that's happened before makes you who you are.

Just keep it moving,

because one thing is for certain -

there's always some kind of surprise around the corner.

Hello?

Mo?! Hi, Lemar.

Just let me in, yeah? Quick!

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