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I am coming from Kenya.
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I am visiting the UK.
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And I have come
to visit Buckingham Palace
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because I do understand
it has got a lot of history.
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Anyone from the Commonwealth
will just come here
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and visit, and see for himself
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how pretty the building is.
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Wow!
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The British royal family.
Yeah?
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What do they do?
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I've no idea about royals.
I mean, who are they?
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You're really working hard on this!
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(How can I make him understand?)
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Ethelred the Unready was the first
king of England, wasn't he?
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And then there was the Vikings.
1066, wasn't it?
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1066 was the year of three kings.
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There was Harold...
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Harold I, William the Conqueror
and somebody in between.
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Yeah, but there was a Norwegian...
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One of 'em was Norwegian.
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Came from Norway.
Was he?
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I don't know. I mean, like,
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the family at the moment has got
German descendancy, hasn't it?
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How do they get German descendancy?
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I think it's because of somebody
was German.
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Hmm. Dunno.
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All I know is Prince Charles
and I know the Queen.
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And her husband.
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A gentleman with big ears.
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What's his name?
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King Elizabeth III or something!
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King the Husband of the Queen.
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His real name is
the Husband of the Queen.
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Yeah? His first name is The Husband,
the family name is Queen.
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He's got big ears
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and he always sort of...
looks like that, you know.
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Closes his eyes, going,
"Yes-yes-yes..."
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What do you know... Do you know
anything about the royal family?
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Yes! Yes! Yes! Erm...
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Some's got a dog and a ferret.
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(CACKLES)
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(CACKLES)
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(AMERICAN) Well, my name is Cliff.
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This is my first trip to the UK.
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Erm...
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I'm immensely enjoying myself.
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I came by here... Buckie - Buck -
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Listen to me! -
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Buckingham Palace.
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I'm going to try to make it tomorrow
early
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so I can get a nice vantage point
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to appreciate
the Changing of the Guards.
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(POSH MAN) There are
in the Royal Collection
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some extraordinary things.
55
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And if you look at Titian,
for example,
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we very often find that,
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over in some neglected corner,
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there is a picture of a dog.
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Wonderful.
60
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Where I come from, joking about
royals is not a funny thing.
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You know, people go to prison,
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they get locked up,
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they get tortured, they get killed,
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they get disappeared,
they have sex changes.
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They do many nasty things to them
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because they talked about royals.
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I think I'd better keep quiet.
68
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I don't know. I don't like...
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I think it should -
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I think it should be slimmed down
a little bit. Streamlined.
71
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Slimmed down a little bit?
A lot, in fact.
72
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I'd like to see Prince Andrew
get a proper job. Proper job!
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I'd like to see 'em ALL
get a proper job for a change.
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I think the immediate family -
I think the Queen -
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In ASDA.
76
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Oh, no, no, no, no. I think -
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There's always a queen for the day!
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(ENGLISH COUNTRY ACCENT)
I met Princess Margaret.
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I did meet Princess Margaret.
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And she were a lovely
young woman at that time.
81
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She went off to the toilet,
and as she went to the toilet,
82
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she waved to the crowd
like they do wave,
83
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and I thought, well, that's the
funniest thing I've ever seen.
84
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The...the...
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Royal Collection is subject
86
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to the same sort of...
87
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,960
hazards...
88
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as anything that is exhibited...
89
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Um... the...
90
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Yes. I don't think we'll
go into that any further.
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(INDIAN ACCENT) We were fascinated
by the whole family,
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because, like I told you,
93
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sitting so far away, being
such a tiny little island.
94
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And here they were
ruling us for 200 years.
95
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It has been...
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really surprising.
97
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And have you managed
to see the Queen?
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Yeah, we saw her at Madame
Tussaud's.
99
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(ELDERLY MATRON)
Things have changed over the years.
100
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They've got worse. There's more
robbings and muggings now
101
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than there ever was.
102
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Well, that's not to do
with the royal family.
103
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Have you seen the Queen
on television just lately?
104
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Yes.
105
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Do you like her hats now?
106
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No.
Hm.
107
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I like the colours they choose
in the royal family.
108
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And the fabrics.
I don't like the cuts!
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(LAUGHS)
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I know they're not allowed
to wear really funky stuff
111
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cos they're a royal family.
112
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But you know, why not?
113
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You know, give 'em
a bit of a funky look.
114
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Layering is quite fashionable.
115
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Why not the royal family
does layering?
116
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Like wear a T-shirt
on top of a shirt?
117
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It's quite fashionable, you know,
118
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with writings on it, like,
119
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"God Save Us for the nation."
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(GEORDIE ACCENT) # Rule, Britannia!
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Oh, yeah!
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# Rule, Britannia!
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# Britannia rules the waves
124
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# Britain never never never
shall be slaves
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# Rule, Britannia! #
126
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As you sing it,
you can feel your fists tightening,
127
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the hackles on your neck stand up,
128
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and you get more and more forceful
and sort of...vehement.
129
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Could you just ask her
130
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what she thinks of Buckingham Palace
now she's seen it herself?
131
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(FAR EASTERN LANGUAGE)
132
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Ya ha.
133
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She say it's wonderful,
it's fantastic.
134
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You know, fabulous, very good.
135
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# Rule, Britannia!
136
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# Britannia rules the waves
137
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# Britain never never never
shall be slaves
138
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And it's like you feel
your fists clenching,
139
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,800
and you want to bash somebody.
140
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Because we're British,
141
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and anybody tries anything,
142
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we'll knock them oot!
That's it, just knock them oot!
143
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,960
Well, I'm a Geordie anyway,
but I'm still British. Champion.
144
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(CACKLING)
145
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Who's the Queen, then?
146
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You!
147
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(CACKLES)
148
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,960
What I notice is that when I watch
old documentaries about the Queen,
149
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and the new documentaries,
150
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,960
her accent has changed.
151
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,960
She's more, you know...
152
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,960
Before it was like, "Haw, la la la!"
153
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,960
But these days it's more like,
"Hey, heh heh heh!"
154
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,960
So it's more like,
you know, street language,
155
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,960
as if she's rapping.
156
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,960
The Queen? I think she
is an absolute gem.
157
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,160
She's done so much for this country.
158
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,320
And, um...
159
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,480
Prince Philip, I think, in his way,
160
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,640
although he shoots people
in the foot occasionally,
161
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,960
I think he means well, as well.
162
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,960
Charles, I think they ought
to put him in a kennel.
163
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(WELL-SPOKEN WOMAN)
He's very spiritual.
164
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:21,960
If you listen to him and really
take notice of what he's saying
165
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,960
instead of all this propaganda
that's out there about him,
166
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,960
he's a very interesting man.
167
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,960
What - Charlie?
Yeah. Really?
168
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Yeah, he really is.
(CHUCKLES)
169
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,480
Yeah...
170
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,640
I...
171
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I think the best thing you could do
172
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is put them all on their boat
and cast 'em off,
173
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,480
and say "Go and find someone else
to plague rather than us."
174
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,640
That's the best thing.
175
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,800
Put 'em on the boat and say,
176
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"Off you go!
177
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Probably someone else round here
would love a royal,
178
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,960
but we don't need one.
179
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,960
So off you go."
180
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Oh, I love 'em.
Hmm.
181
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We mustn't get rid of them,
whatever happens.
182
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It's our mainstay.
183
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,000
It's...
184
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,160
it's a wonderful thing to have them.
185
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,320
All of them.
186
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,480
Good, bad and indifferent.
187
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:16,800
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com
188
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Everything in here's lockable.
189
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Doors all lockable.
Windows all lockable.
190
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,960
Bloody disgraceful, innit?
191
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Absolutely bloody disgraceful.
192
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,160
Hello?
193
00:08:42,210 --> 00:08:46,760
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