Original subtitles

The Royal Marines is here,

and then there's the parading of the hounds.

Parading of the sheep, cattle, horses.

Oh, right, and pigs, as well. (LAUGHS)

Yeah, so that's that. Yeah.

TWEET

RUFF-RUFF

OINK

MOO

Could I explain what the County Show is?

Um, the County Show is...

a social occasion for people who live in the countryside.

Um...they bring their best farm animals to the show

to compete with each other.

Um...and it's generally a big, big social occasion

where people meet together and they go and have a look and chat,

and it's all good fun, really.

We're very fond of the Bath & West

cos they always make you welcome

and here you get free straw for the cattle and everybody is helpful.

You get paid for the milk here which you don't at some shows.

And it's nice to meet your friends.

I wouldn't say there's a great social side to rabbits.

Well, no, but you do meet a lot of - You meet a lot of people.

We're all friends because we're in the same club. Yes.

Yeah.

Well, I've been involved since I was three or four.

My parents were both very horsey.

I'm planning to go totty-hunting a bit later.

But, well, that's after I've jumped my class,

cos otherwise I'll run out of time and get in trouble

cos I haven't done my job properly.

But plenty of time for everything.

Things have changed a terrific amount. Yeah, they really have.

You know, things were a lot...

..slower, and there wasn't the rush and...

..tear that there is today. There wasn't, you know, and...

Well, donkeys are so intelligent. A lot of people don't think they are.

But donkeys are so intelligent it's unbelievable.

They're almost as intelligent, I would say, as a dog.

We've got one donkey that came from the middle of London,

that got too much for his owner.

We've got another donkey that came from Ross-On-Wye.

We've got another donkey that's came in with another donkey

and then we've got another donkey

that came with a little donkey that we've got.

Anybody standing there, like you,

hasn't the faintest idea what we're talking about.

It's all...

It's all, um...

What's the word?

What's the word? No.

Other people wouldn't understand what we're talking about, they wouldn't.

To watch the eggs being judged,

people say, "How do you judge an egg?"

But to some people eggs are so important,

to get them just right.

Other people just eat them at breakfast.

Isn't it? Mm.

My main reason for being competitive

is because I know the more I win, the more girlfriends I'll have,

and the more girlfriends I have, probably the more I'll win,

because the more support I'll get,

just as I go in a big pressure class.

So, the idea is to keep winning

and keep gaining lots of girlfriends at these shows.

'So, first prize goes to number 116 Bosedown Alpackers, Oxfordshire.'

APPLAUSE

The judge we've got today is from Peru, Doctor Julio Soma,

and he is one of the best-regarded judges in the world,

and he's come here specially from Peru to judge today.

Only, I think he's going to be here till midnight at this rate, so...!

You're all in a line and the judge is walking up and down behind you

and then walks up and down in front of you

and then he moves up and he pats, or slaps, on the back

the animal that's the winner, and that animal moves forward.

So, you're there and he moves towards you -

this is it, this is it!

- then the bugger turns and goes up the other way and then he comes back

and it's terrific when he slaps and the crowd applaud

and it's a great, great feeling.

Oh, yeah, it's like a drug.

It's like you've had a large Scotch, suddenly.

Then you have a whole bottle and you keep coming back for more.

When you get more, you want more.

You feel quite elated, and really excited. Yeah, it's really good.

I think you could say that, show me...a good loser

and I'll show you a loser.

If you keep waterfowl,

number one, you're going to need a pond.

Especially if you keep white ones.

But if you haven't got a pond,

and you've only got little dishes and buckets,

then everything's all mucked up.

And then it's ten times more work.

A little bit disappointing in the results,

because the best eggs for the show were actually duck eggs

and I did really well with my chicken eggs and got lots of prizes

but I've been beaten by duck eggs.

So, it's a waterfowl against chicken, which is disappointing.

You're trying to maintain a standard...

..to get the ones which will go onto the next stage of breeding.

So, it's constant selection towards perfection.

Breed like rabbits? Forget it! Hell no. No!

All the pigs here, of course, are pedigree.

We can go back generations.

A pig without a pedigree is... just a pig.

(CHOMPING)

FEEDBACK HUM

'And there's no problems with the confirmation at any aspect,

the animal is a well-conformed animal.'

You do occasionally get people cheat.

They use the same eggs for more than one show.

Use them for quite a few shows, in some cases.

But you normally get caught out if you cheat.

They hard-boil the eggs so that they don't go off,

and use the same eggs again and again.

Or um... Buy them.

Yeah, there may be people that buy them, I don't know.

I don't buy my eggs, personally, I... No.

No, not at all. I've never, never shown eggs...

Only when I was forced to, once.

When you're checking out the competition,

you wait until they go back to their trailers

for their evening meal or whatever and then you have a good look round!

In the twilight hours.

(LAUGHS)

There are stories about cows that have been milked out

in the middle of the night and bulls that have suddenly gone lame,

and all this kind of caper!

And blown up with wind,

cos someone's put something in their food or whatever.

But, I mean, that's a kind of... They're stories,

and that happens very, very infrequently.

We've had one or two very slight instances over the last five years.

But in the old days, um...

# BIZET'S CARMEN RINGTONE when there was um...

I'm just giving an interview to a gentleman doing a TV series, Pam.

I'll give you a ring right back, all right? OK.

Um...sorry about that.

PA: Thank you very much.

I don't think it will ever die out.

It may do, in time, but...

Cos really, when you've got animals,

little ones like to come and see it all the time.

They always want to see a pig or a sheep, or...a rabbit.

Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com

So, that's all I'm going to tell 'ee, anyway.

If you want to know any bloody more,

you'll have to sort that out yourselves!

(STILL LAUGHING)

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0