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Erm...
All green and slimy,
2
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with googly eyes.
3
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With googly eyes and little thingies
that go up in the air
4
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with round bits on the end.
Antennae.
5
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Yeah.
With a spaceship.
6
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Ooh!
7
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I don't believe in aliens, really.
8
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I don't believe in strange people
and strange creatures and...
9
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strange anything, because...
10
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God wouldn't
create anything that's...
11
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not...perfect
12
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and that's abnormal and strange.
13
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,960
No, I don't believe
there's alien life on this planet.
14
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I believe there's something, but...
15
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We don't know what.
..what, we don't know.
16
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,960
I believe there's something
we've not been told about.
17
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:08,960
What do you mean, "If aliens
existed"? Aliens DO exist!
18
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Everybody knows aliens exist.
19
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I think, if aliens existed, I would
think they're about that small...
20
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some of them.
These are the good ones.
21
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Erm...that small and, erm...
22
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they have quite a big head,
and they are very good at sums,
23
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and, erm...
they have small legs and arms.
24
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I've no idea what aliens would look
like. They could look like anything.
25
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They might just be a ball of gas,
26
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or an idea,
or a particular-coloured light.
27
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,960
The whole conspiracy thing about
aliens is absolutely ridiculous.
28
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Why on earth... Why on earth would
they visit us to fly around
29
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in some farmer's back garden
in the back end of beyond in Suffolk,
30
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to just...bugger off again?
31
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It...It just doesn't make sense
whatsoever.
32
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And the whole thing about, erm...
33
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UFOs in the sky is...
is just beyond me.
34
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,960
Well, what is a UFO?
35
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You know what a UFO is!
What does it stand for?
36
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I can't remember.
Something... what is it?
37
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An Unidented Flying Object?
38
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No, I've never seen one of them.
I don't even know what one is.
39
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So anything that you don't identify
that flies past you is a...
40
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is...a UFO, isn't it?
41
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So basically, if it's a bird
that you don't recognise -
42
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"What's that?" You get the book out,
you can't identify it...
43
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That was a UFO, wasn't it?
44
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No. Now you're being silly.
45
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I've seen a UFO...
46
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..at a time when UFOs
were being sighted in Lancashire.
47
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People were saying they had flying
saucers going over their rooftops
48
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in a suburb of Bolton,
49
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and one Manch- one news reporter
claimed to have taken a photograph,
50
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:05,960
but whether it was a genuine photo
is another thing.
51
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:09,960
I came beginning of May
in, er... 1984.
52
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Cos it's a beautiful planet.
53
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You can see it from quite far.
54
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It looks very attractive.
55
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It's not as striking,
the difference,
56
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that...people expect, when they ask,
57
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"How different is it than home?"
58
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I mean, you hate to lapse into
this whole stereotype about
59
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hm...how the English people are
60
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who live around me.
61
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We have radionic equipment which
we call spiritual energy radiators,
62
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which have been in operation now
for...over 30 years.
63
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Every unselfish action is potentised
by spiritual energy radiators.
64
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You have here shopping centres which
are community centres nowadays.
65
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People on Saturdays take children
to shopping centres like...
66
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:04,960
Probably an element of Care In The
Community programmes they have now.
67
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,960
They develop strong medication
so they can keep you quiet
68
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:11,960
and you can just walk around and
look at the bright shiny things.
69
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Yes.
Makes you happy.
70
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I mean,
they make these models of aliens.
71
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How can they make models of aliens
72
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when they've never ever seen
an alien? Is that a fuss, you know?
73
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Yeah, but that's -
Yeah, but IS it?
74
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You're allowed to have
that imagination, aren't you?
75
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Yeah, but, I mean,
how can they mould an alien
76
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when they've not seen one?
77
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,960
If you were asked,
what do they look like?
78
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I couldn't tell 'em,
cos I've never seen one.
79
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If they said, "Right,
what do you think it looks like?"
80
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,960
Again, I couldn't tell you,
cos I don't know.
81
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:44,960
Wouldn't you have a go, saying, I
think they'd look like this or that?
82
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Well, they could be two foot tall.
83
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Well, I think a lot of these...
84
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the portrayal of aliens comes from
85
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people who say they've seen aliens,
86
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or they've been beamed up by aliens.
87
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,160
Some of these stories
people come out with.
88
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,960
Do you think they are stories,
or do you think they're true?
89
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,960
There's no doubt in my mind that
these people have had an experience.
90
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,960
I think that's nonsense,
to be honest.
91
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,960
I think people
have either had too much to drink
92
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,960
or they've just got
very imaginative imaginations.
93
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:22,960
I reckon they've been on some -
Whacky baccy.
94
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:23,960
..whacky baccy stuff, I reckon,
95
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,960
if they're saying
they've been abducted by it.
96
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,960
(CHUCKLES)
They glow in the dark, like!
97
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,960
The first few months in this country
98
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,960
I had to learn that you do not
kiss everybody to say hello...
99
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,960
and I did with the postman.
100
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,960
I opened the door - there was
the postman. I gave him kiss...
101
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,480
on his cheek, twice, or whatever.
102
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,960
And that was...
He was absolutely shocked, you know!
103
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,960
I've LOVED the weather here.
104
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,960
And I know that sounds crazy,
105
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,960
because everyone always complains
about the weather here.
106
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But it's very temperate.
107
00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:59,960
Er...living in...in the city,
108
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:05,960
you hardly ever have a freeze,
and when you do have snow,
109
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:10,160
it's pretty and it melts when
it hits the ground, which is ideal.
110
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,160
I reckon there's quite a few of them
111
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:15,160
roaming around the planet
at the moment, you know.
112
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,160
Well, I think just the opposite.
113
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,960
Huh...Yeah?!
To be honest, I don't think,
114
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:25,960
at this particular time,
aliens do NOT exist...
115
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:30,960
Until someone comes up with
the proof that they are existing.
116
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:35,000
There's a lot of proof that they
exist on other planets, isn't there?
117
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:40,960
You know, it may not be kind of like
we might be looking at sort of er...
118
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:46,960
You know, either looking at things
in other dimensions -
119
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:51,320
you know, other planes. Doesn't have
to be travelling long distances.
120
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:54,960
You know, things like
the elves and the fairies.
121
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,960
Whacky people! (CHUCKLES)
122
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,960
Whacky people...
123
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,960
Real strange!
124
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,960
SIREN
125
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,000
This is home, you know.
126
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,960
Everything is a bit upside-down,
but tha-that's the way it is.
127
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:19,960
But it IS becoming -
Slowly it's becoming level.
128
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,960
I've learned that
it's very important to be polite.
129
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:24,160
Yes.
You have to remember to say
130
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,960
certain amount
of thank-yous and sorrys.
131
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,960
You have to say sorry to people
you shouldn't really say -
132
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,960
you walk on the street
and a person walks in front of you -
133
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:36,960
Yes. - and suddenly those two people
perform a dance, saying sorry, sorry
134
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,960
and you don't know
which way to move. Yes.
135
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:42,960
That was something which I...
I felt a bit bemused by that.
136
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:45,960
Yes.
137
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,960
Mainly...
138
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,960
I just watch Jeremy Paxman.
139
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,960
Nah. As to whether
they've visited us or not...
140
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,960
..recently, I couldn't tell you.
141
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,960
GROWLS
142
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,960
They might of!
MIAOW!
143
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,960
I mean, who's to say
they ain't here now?
144
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,960
My theory is
we came from another planet.
145
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,960
(ALL CHUCKLE)
146
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:28,960
It's just... No, it's just pants.
I don't believe in it.
147
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:45,960
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