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SNIFFS
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MUNCHES
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RIBBIT RIBBIT!
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CLUCK! CLUCK! CLUCK!
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CHIRP!
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WOOF WOOF!
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OINK!
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MOO!
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British food?
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I think it's first class.
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Somehow clean.
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Er... Um...
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Satisfying.
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English food
is very bland, isn't it?
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Yeah, but I'm not
terribly spicy, I'm not, either.
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Or I like the spices and the spices
don't like me. You know what I mean?
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I like...I like spices.
I like all kinds...
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There's nothing round here, anyway.
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The trouble with the foods we eat
now, there's too much fat in 'em.
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The worst thing
that happens in this country,
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there's too many people eat chips.
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Ooh.
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Egg and chips.
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Egg, chips, gammon.
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Um...
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Chip butties.
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At lunchtime, instead of kiddies
going and buying a couple of apples,
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or a couple of pears,
what do they do?
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They go to the chip shops
and buy chips.
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And when they get home,
they have chips AGAIN.
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MUNCHES AND GULPS
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You know, if I have
too much chocolate, I get a bit fat.
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And I put on...
LAUGHS
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I put on a lot of weight.
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Yeah, she eats really well
for a diet.
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I mean, I put her weight on,
then she piles it off.
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So, I think what she loses, I gain.
38
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I try and eat healthily.
39
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She eats brown bread,
and all the rest of it.
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Apples, and bananas.
You name it, she eats it.
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The main staple diet for runners is,
er...
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CHEERING
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We had er...
In fact, we had wild strawberries.
44
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Little, wild strawberries.
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Er...
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And, of course,
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if it was acorn time,
you could always eat an acorn.
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And even the thistle.
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You could always peel the top
off a thistle.
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Are you talking about
food? I like EVERYTHING.
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Not one particular... Like
a Mexican, that's no good for me.
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Well, there are one or two foods
I DO have.
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Rice pudding, proper pizzas...
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um...
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I like some of the deep pan pizzas.
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The crust on top - amazing.
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And then that gooey stuff inside.
58
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But that sort of poo is a lot
healthier. Horse poo and cow poo.
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Cow pats are fantastic to look at,
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with all those dung beetles
crawling around inside them.
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As long as it's filling and barely
edible, I'll pretty much eat it.
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I'm always too hungry to be picky.
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I don't like to eat anything,
really,
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that was contaminated by any insect.
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Although, you put up with it,
when you're hungry.
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I never ate it...that I know of.
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CHUCKLES
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I may have done. I don't know.
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Horse poo is very good.
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But human poo, and dog poo,
that's poisonous, I think.
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If you eat a bit of dirt,
it don't matter.
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They reckon you eat
a pound of dirt, anyway.
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In your lifetime,
they reckon you eat a pound of dirt.
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Without even knowing.
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I used to go round the back of shops
and supermarkets,
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going down the back of the skips...
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No problem!
CHUCKLES
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You know, I've eaten food that's
been a week old, and what have you.
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Anything, from frozen to tins.
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I used to find all sorts of food
in the skips.
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I was like liberating it.
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CHUCKLES
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And then, there's elephant poo.
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Which er...is enormous.
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And lion's poo.
Now, that must frighten ANYBODY off.
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CHILD'S VOICE: I don't catch flies
87
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because they eat poo.
88
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And I don't like poo.
89
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Eating dirt, you've got your trace
elements in there, haven't you?
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And it builds up your resistance
to infections.
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So, it ain't a bad thing,
I don't think.
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Dirt on food?
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Dirt on food? What? What?
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Dirt on food can KILL you!
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You can put one mouthful
of dirty food in your mouth,
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and you can be a goner!
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How can you ask me that question?
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I think I've...ate more lead shot
99
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than I've ate...
certainly ate oysters.
100
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CHUCKLES
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I ain't...
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I... Gawd!
I should think that's probably...
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I don't know, it's probably why
my brain's a bit funny, or... Ach!
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Dog and cat food.
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It smells absolutely disgusting.
Well, it's very strong.
106
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Horrible.
It's very strong.
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Oh, I don't think I'd like to eat
a sheep's eyeball.
108
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Or an intestine of a cow,
or something like that.
109
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But if you've got
all these sort of intestines,
110
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and all these sort of,
you know, not so um...
111
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not so appetising bits of animals,
112
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then they mix it all up in a mixer
and then they call it Sp(BLEEP).
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(WEST INDIAN ACCENT) I don't want
to sound like a cannibal,
114
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but there again,
we all went out for a meal,
115
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and the chicken was SO horrible,
116
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I could vomit all night
and never stop.
117
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That was really, really horrible!
118
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Horrible.
119
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Yeah, bloody milk cartons.
120
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It goes everywhere, milk. Anything.
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SIREN
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There's too many bags in the world.
123
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God help the people with arthritis.
They can never open them.
124
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They can't.
It's terrible.
125
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Even tea bags, to get the top off...
Everything.
126
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The cellophane, you can't open it.
127
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The biscuits, you can't open.
ALL packages.
128
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I had a packet of ham...
Terrible. None of the packages...
129
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By the time you open it,
you don't WANT the ham.
130
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Oh, gosh, yes.
131
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I hate sea food.
132
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I really absolutely detest it.
133
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I did eat a fish once...
134
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..about two years ago.
135
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And it was...
I think they're disgusting.
136
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No, you know,
like prawns and all the shellfish...
137
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I know they're lovely,
but I'm ALWAYS afraid
138
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in case you get the one that'll...
..turn your stomach.
139
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,960
Whelks, mussels -
140
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that's like eating slugs.
141
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Is it?
Oysters, and stuff.
142
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I've never tasted a slug.
Euww!
143
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Sliding down your gullet!
144
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But you don't eat slugs, do you?
Like eating a slug.
145
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How do you know
when you've never had one?
146
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,960
That's how I would imagine it to be.
147
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,960
I love salads.
148
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,000
I'd rather have a salad
than a roast dinner.
149
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,480
We eat a lot of salad in the summer.
More than in the winter.
150
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,160
Salt on a bit of tomato.
You can't beat a bit of salt.
151
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,960
You can't beat a bit of lettuce.
(CHUCKLES)
152
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,960
I mean, I feel very healthy.
153
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,960
The only thing I have problems with
is digestion.
154
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,960
I don't know what is wrong
with my digestion.
155
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,960
I mean, it's just like I just fart
all the time, you know?
156
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I've got a windy stomach.
157
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,640
So, like...
158
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,960
a lot of things I would not eat
if it would upset me.
159
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,960
But other than that,
no, I'm not a diet person.
160
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(GULPS)
161
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Vegetarian is all right.
162
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But when they cut out EVERYTHING...
163
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Cos some of them don't eat...
Well, they're vegans, is it?
164
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,960
Vegans.
Vegans.
165
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,960
I think that's hard.
166
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,960
Er,
I've been a vegetarian a long time.
167
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And er...
168
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:45,960
when I'm angry, I sometimes lapse...
169
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and just go and bite something...
170
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,960
that's made out of meat.
171
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Then I feel guilty afterwards.
172
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Well...
173
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I... Vegetarians. Well...
174
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,800
Vegetarians.
175
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,960
I think they're sort of...
176
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,960
trying to be better
than the rest of us.
177
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,960
Do you know, it's been proved,
as far as I know,
178
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,960
that the best thing to eat
is a bit of yourself.
179
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:21,960
Actually, um...beans gives me wind,
180
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,960
and lemonade makes me burp.
181
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,960
(LAUGHS)
182
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,960
What ARE you looking at?
183
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Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com
184
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Thank you very much.
185
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