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CHILD'S VOICE:
Digging...digging dirt off...
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and then putting it on the compost.
3
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,960
That's our favourite thing...
4
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in the garden.
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FROG CROAKING
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CAMEL GRUNTING
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ELEPHANT TRUMPETING
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HEN CLUCKING
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Tweet!
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DOG BARKING
Miaow!
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PIG GRUNTING
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COW MOOING
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YOUNG MALE: I do all I can
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to avoid having to go out
in the garden.
15
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Erm...it's just not
my cup of tea at all.
16
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Boring, dirty, cold, wet...
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generally, out here.
18
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Do you want to say something,
Mother?
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I'm just listening.
20
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No, please don't!
SHE LAUGHS
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Just go back in your little hole!
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I do apologise.
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I love gardening.
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They say, in the garden, it's
the closest place to God, you know.
25
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Erm...I'm waiting for a nice, warm
day, so I can pull a few things up.
26
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You know what I mean? So...
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Oh...hello.
28
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,960
I like gardening,
but I'd like to do more.
29
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I'd like to have the time.
30
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I love to see things grow.
I love to design things.
31
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Well, a garden's
a place for contemplation, isn't it?
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For reflection.
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Gardening, eh?
LAUGHS
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Very apt!
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Well, we don't know much
about gardening.
36
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We seem to get by!
37
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Oh, yeah...gardening,
you know...it's not an easy job.
38
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When you're digging all day,
39
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the old back tends to suffer
at the end of the day.
40
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You make it as easy as you can.
41
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Er...I would
call this a labour-intensive garden.
42
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Yes, yes...it is.
43
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Me and Nige, like,
we like being out in the open...
44
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more than we do indoors.
45
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I believe that, anyway.
46
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,960
And what Nigel likes about it...
47
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,960
He's got a saying: "Do it this way."
48
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And he likes that.
49
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,960
But I think we both...
we get on quite well together.
50
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Sometimes, yeah, he might
moan at me and that about it,
51
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,960
but two minds are better than one.
That's what I say.
52
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But erm...
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we make sure that a job is done
to the best of our capabilities,
54
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and the job is cleared,
and it's spot on when we leave.
55
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We have a yard
that Des has very nicely decked out.
56
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Yeah. It's... Well, it's all right.
57
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I really like it.
It gets loads of sun.
58
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It's got some ornamental grasses.
59
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Quite small, but it's nice.
60
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Well, it's not that small.
61
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Smallish.
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There aren't many ponds
in the neighbourhood.
63
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,960
And in the height of summer,
when it gets dry,
64
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any body of water attracts frogs
from miles around.
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CHUCKLES
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A lonely-heart pond for frogs. Yes.
67
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A sort of singles bar sort of thing.
Yeah.
68
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:05,960
I get a bird's-eye view
of the most extraordinary gardens.
69
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:09,960
Sometimes you can be up one tree
which has...
70
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eight gardens underneath it.
71
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And...
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Aaaarghh!
73
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All the neighbours are gnashing
their teeth about this tree, and...
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the person who owns the tree has a
very defensive attitude towards it.
75
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It's got a little bit of decking,
and then a bit of grass...
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And a bit of slabs.
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LAUGHS
A bit of slabs!
78
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It has. It's got everything.
79
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I...right. OK.
80
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Yeah. Slabs.
81
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And you can dig dirt,
grass, sheds, bikes...
82
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..flat stones...
83
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,960
What's your favourite plant?
84
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I don't have one.
I like all plants.
85
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Except vegetables.
86
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I hate vegetables!
LAUGHS
87
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I don't like any plants
except vegetables.
88
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,960
You're only saying that!
89
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,960
No, it's true...
90
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:06,960
You like olive trees.
91
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,960
I can't see the point of flowers.
92
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,000
I like a good-looking garden
which attracts...
93
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,960
all sorts of living things
into it...
94
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be a sort of magnet for life.
95
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:22,960
I like contrasts of er...
form and colour.
96
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And cat pappoo and dog pappoo.
97
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And bird pappoo.
98
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,960
This organic gardening,
that's coming a long way.
99
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People are sort of...
100
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,960
I noticed
in gardens that we visit...
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that there's a lot of people
with their own compost heaps,
102
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putting their own sort of peelings
and stuff...
103
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,960
Well, it's like that garden
we done up in Portishead.
104
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She had all that black stuff, and
you opened it up. It was jet-black.
105
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And that was that one
with all the shrubs and that.
106
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That stuff was really good.
107
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I mean,
that's good for the organic stuff.
108
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Yeah, yeah. It all helps, don't it?
Yeah.
109
00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:04,960
They're about No.1 on the hit list,
are slugs.
110
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,960
Crawling and sliming across leaves,
and eating.
111
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You know, not very good.
You just see these silvery trails.
112
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I can eat almost anything.
113
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Yeah, I'm the same, too.
I won't refuse anything.
114
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The only thing I don't eat is...
Turkish Delight!
115
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Oh, I like Turkish Delight.
116
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I can't stand it.
And lychees. Lychees. Yuk.
117
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:29,960
What don't I like?
I think I like mostly everything.
118
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Brussels sprouts and that -
I like them, but the missus don't.
119
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,960
No, nor do I.
Not after!
120
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,960
LAUGHS
Yeah, I know what she means.
121
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Slugs, in my opinion,
they're ugly-looking things.
122
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But they're probably eating
other creatures,
123
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,960
so they're probably doing
your garden good, so leave them.
124
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:56,160
I don't think they ARE
actually doing your garden good.
125
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Are they not?
126
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,960
They're eating...
they eat your leaves...
127
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,960
I know nothing about gardening.
They can wreck your plants.
128
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,960
That's why they make slug pellets.
129
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:10,960
Oh, well, yeah, you're right!
They're like worm pellets.
130
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,480
Silly old me! I know.
LAUGHS
131
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,960
I suppose the next one along
is a caterpillar.
132
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:25,960
It's a shame, because a caterpillar
turns into such a beautiful thing.
133
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:29,960
But a caterpillar can make such a
mess, you know, of a lot of plants,
134
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,960
you know, with leaves munched away
again.
135
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:35,960
Yeah, I like the idea
of a good crop of potatoes,
136
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or a good crop of beans and peas.
137
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,160
Whereas flowers...
138
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,480
Aren't useful.
Well, they are...
139
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:45,640
They're useful in the sense
that you can enjoy them,
140
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:46,960
but it's an awful lot of effort.
141
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,800
No, it's not.
142
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:53,160
I must admit
to having a very great affection...
143
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,960
for the plant that we call
by the unfortunate name...
144
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,960
of...
145
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:07,960
..dog's-tooth violet.
146
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,160
Sorry for that delay.
147
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:15,160
There is a shrub that I do like -
the burning bush. Ever seen them?
148
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,960
Laburnum bush?
It's called the burning bush.
149
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,480
Oh, burning bush.
Burning bush, it's called.
150
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,960
And basically, it goes green...
151
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:26,960
and when it goes to die off,
it goes a completely brilliant red.
152
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,000
Oh, like flames.
153
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,960
That's why they call it
a burning bush.
154
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,960
It goes from a nice,
dark green to a real, burning red.
155
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And it's called the burning bush.
156
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,960
And turns to ash?
157
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,160
It just goes to branches -
thin, little branches.
158
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,160
And then it goes green again,
and it goes all over it again.
159
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,960
But the tree stays there
all the time.
160
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,960
Oh, right.
So, it's a year...
161
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,640
It's a bush that's there -
well, a shrub -
162
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that's there all year round.
163
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It's just mucky, messy, boring.
164
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,320
Rubbish.
165
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,960
It's got a shed,
which I'm really made up about,
166
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:11,000
cos I've, like, always wanted
a shed, all my life.
167
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,960
And now I've got one.
168
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:13,960
To read pornography in!
169
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,960
No, not to read pornography in!
170
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,640
To have a radio,
171
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,960
and listen to the football results
with a paraffin heater...
172
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,960
in fingerless gloves!
173
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,960
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com
174
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,960
It's not chocolate.
175
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:32,960
It's not...it's not grass.
176
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,960
It's not...
177
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:37,960
It's not anything. It's dirt.
178
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,960
I'm telling stories!
179
00:08:43,010 --> 00:08:47,560
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