Original subtitles

[music]

[Cora] All right!

Hey, Ms. Anastasia.

Oh, how nice is that!?

You know, Cora, if I hadn't become

a legendary actress of stage and screen,

I believe I have a talent to become

a famous artist!

That is so nice, Ms. Anastasia.

Thank you, darling!

Ooh, Anastasia! You did that?

Ooh, I like this turtle!

It's a fruit bowl, Mr. Brown.

Well, Cora, unless the turtle ate the fruit bowl,

I'm seein' a turtle.

Why don't you pull up an easel and see if you could do better?

Oh no, I don't have time to be drawin' pictures and such.

Yes, 'cause, uh, I made a promise to my Cora.

Yeah, and, and, uh, like, the post office,

this Brown delivers.

What promise is that, Mr. Brown?

Oh, I promised my Cora I'ma find her a date,

I'ma find her a boyfriend.

Oh, oh, Mr. Brown, that matchmaking thing?

Don't worry about it.

I'm just gonna let go and let God.

Oh, no, Cora, uh-uh. Uh-uh.

The Lord'll help those that help themselves.

You just think somebody gonna just fall in your lap?

No, you got to do something.

You got to go out there and work that thing, Cora!

You can't just wait for a man to just sit and work

and fall in your lap.

Okay, I'ma make you a list,

and we'll put stuff on your list like lover, homie, friend-

Wait a minute, no lovers. No lovers, Cora.

-I need a-I need a lover. -You don't need no lover.

-I do! -You need a homie and friend.

-Somebody to dap you up. -Oh.

That's what you need, Cora.

And see, we'll make a list,

and we'll put all the stuff you want on the list, right?

And then we'll find you that perfect man for you.

-You wanna do that? -Yeah.

-Okay. -How fun!

Cora, what's the number three quality

you want in a boyfriend?

Number three? What happened to one and two?

Because every woman knows the number one thing

you want in a man is a robust investment portfolio.

[Cora] All right.

And number two is a big, large, massive-

Whoa, stop right there, ma'am.

Cora, she was gonna say

is a big, large, massive mansion, right?

Hell I was!

Yeah, I just want a nice guy, Mr. Brown.

Who can blow your back out.

Yes, I want him to blow my back out.

No, Cora!

Ain't nobody blowin' no back out!

It's a been a minute, Mr. Brown! When I get married-

-Cora. -When I get married,

I want him to blow the back out.

Cora...

Ain't no back gettin' blowed out here.

What else y'all want?

Nice guys can be rich too, you know.

Yes, I'm rich.

Yeah, I'm rich in personality.

Okay, uh, yes.

Well, you know what, Mr. Brown? Don't put rich on there.

-No, you don't want rich. -No, no rich.

Scratch rich off of it. I'm gonna put rich way down.

I'ma just write rich real low, like here,

'cause real little here at the bottom.

He don't have to be big rich. He can be little rich.

-Okay. -Yeah,

'cause we want him with something.

'Cause I don't want you beggin' from me

when I get all old and stuff.

Mr. Brown, beggin' from you?

I just paid for your lunch and for your bingo games.

What you talkin' about?

Cora, if you had a boyfriend with money,

neither one of us would have to pay for nothin', right?

Okay.

You got to learn to work smarter, not hard.

-Okay. -Yes.

-Cora? -Yes?

What's next on your list?

Next on my list? Well,

we know we want a nice a guy.

I want him to go to church with me

and to be able to share my hobbies.

-Share your hobbies. -Mm-hmm.

Bake cookies for your daddy. Okay, yes.

Okay, y'all get back to painting.

Keep making your turtle things up,

and I'ma go find you a man. Can y'all read my writin'?

-I-no. -[Mr. Brown] Okay, alright.

It's a fruit bowl!

[Mr. Brown] Whatever.

[music]

? No matter what you do, I love you ?

? No matter where you go, I'm behind you for sure ?

? Always remember, blood ain't never water ?

? We'll make it if we stay together ?

[music]

Ah, very proud of you, young Jeremy!

You're happy I finally got that toilet fixed, huh?

No, no, no, no. That still needs fixing.

In fact, I've re-named my toilet after my cousin Yemi.

He too is always broke.

So what you proud of me for?

I'm proud of you because you got in an early morning workout.

I didn't work out this morning.

Then why are you making a protein shake?

Oh, this is for my workout tonight.

Tonight?

Tonight.

-Oh!!! -Mm-hmm.

Oh, your rrrandy puma!

Trying for another baby, I see.

Yeah, we still at it, and at it, and at it.

Leah keep making me drink these protein shakes

to get my energy up, but I'm still tired as hell.

Look, you know, we have a saying in my country.

The quickest way to take joy out of anything

is to make it a chore.

Yeah, I feel that, but we still havin' fun.

I just...

I thought she'd be pregnant by now.

Oh! In that case, we have another saying.

When the hunter keeps missing his target,

start to check his arrow.

Ain't nothin' wrong with my arrow.

You trippin'.

Oh, oh, but you the one that say,

"We're at it, and at it, and at it."

Those are your words. They're not Efe's.

Yeah, we've been goin' at it for months,

but that don't mean that it's...me.

Ooh, so does that mean something is wrong with Leah?

[mutters incoherently]

Is there something wrong with her?

What's something' wrong with Leah?

What's wrong with Leah? Huh?

What we talkin' 'bout here, fellas?

Are you asking me, please? Ask the man with the arrow.

[Leah] Ah...

Look, baby, I'm not sayin' it's somethin' wrong with you,

but we have been going at it for a minute now,

and I just thought you'd be pregnant by now.

[laughs] Okay, so that means something wrong with me?

You better check yourself, buddy.

Nothin' wrong with me! [chuckles]

I put it down, you know?

A man can get a woman pregnant well into his 70's,

-so it definitely ain't me. -Okay, well then-

I could call Dr. Webb and see if she has any cancellations.

You know, I mean, unless you "scarred."

I mean, if you're scared, say you scared, Jeremy!

-What am I scared for? Call her! -Oh, call her?

I know my arrow's straight.

I've always been a straight shooter.

Oh, okay, okay, okay! I guess I'll do that, then.

-Let me go get my phone. -I guess you gon' do that, then.

We'll see, uh-huh. Check yourself, buddy!

-I'm good. -Yeah! We'll see!

I hope.

All right.

Well, I think I'm done!

Oh my goodness, this is beautiful, Ms. Anastasia!

Fabulous, right?

I could've been another Van Gogh.

No, you would've been a Van No.

-You mean Renoir. -No, Ren-not at all, no.

You need to get your vision checked.

You the one drawin' turtles that look like fruit baskets,

and I need to get my eyes checked?

Okay, guys, it's okay.

When it comes to art,

the beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

And I'm not beholding any beauty, Cora.

Yep, yep-oh! But speaking of beauty.

Cora, I found you somebody.

You found me a man already?

Yes! He is handsome. He's nice lookin'.

He's humble. Uh, uh, uh, he built.

-[Cora] Really? -Yes, Cora,

he's all of them things.

You just said five words for bein' gorgeous.

I think I'd like to meet him!

Ms. Anastasia, don't be so thirsty.

And just how did you find Ms. Cora a man already?

Oh, it happened so fast!

That's how I know it was ordained by God.

'Cause I was in my happy place.

-Oh, you was at church? -No, no.

I was at, um, Mom's Southern Buns.

I was ordering me a hamburger with extra mayo, extra ketchup,

extra lettuce, extra pickle,

extra cheese, and extra mayonnaise.

I just got me two sandwiches. That's when it happened.

I walked- I just seen him walk through

and I said, "God, whoa!"

Just like, "God, whoa!"

And when I seen him, I said,

"Boy, this dude has style!"

-We like style! -Yes!

Yeah, and when I said that,

and it's the way he bit into his hamburger,

and the mayonnaise was right there, I thought,

"He know how to carry his self."

Oh, we like a man who know how to carry his self.

Yeah. And I looked and I said to myself,

myself, I say, "Self," myself say,

"He would be perfect for Cora!"

We love a perfect match!

What did you do?

I walked right up to him and I looked him dead in his eyes.

And I said, "I got two questions for you.

Do you love the Lord and is you single?"

What did he say?

He said, "Son, I don't roll that way?"

And I said, "What? No, not for me!"

I said, "I like women, women, women, women,"

just like that. And I said, "No, for Cora!"

But Mr. Brown,

after all that, is he single?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's single.

That's wonderful! [laughs]

But he also had his own list!

-Well, as he should. -Yeah, yeah, but-

Cora, I told him-I said,

"My Cora is sweet. She is nice.

"She is friendly.

"She likes to bake cookies for her daddy.

And she visit the sick and shut-in."

Cora, I just went on and on about you.

You checked every box.

This is so exciting!

Did you ask him for his phone number?

Oh, no, no, I didn't get his phone number.

-I did one better. -What?

I said, "Follow me.

I'll let you meet my sweet Cora."

-Oh, no, you didn't! -Oh, yes, I did, Cora!

But Mr. Brown, I'm not even presentable

to meet anybody today!

-You look wonderful. -But I'm not ready!

And there's no time to waste.

A man like the one Mr. Brown described

won't be on the market for long.

I hate when ladies do that, know they done dressed up

and talkin' about how they ain't presentable.

You know you done present yourself.

I didn't know I was gonna meet nobody today.

Cora, he out there on the porch. He'd be perfect for you.

Okay, you can... Okay, I'm ready, Mr. Brown.

Okay, he perfect, Cora.

Stand up, don't slouch, Cora.

Yeah, get the hump out your back.

Look like you got "osto-porosis."

Okay.

-You ready, Cora? -[Cora] I'm ready.

Stand up. Okay. [whistles]

Mr. Green, come on in here!

He perfect Cora.

[Both] Oh my.

That's exactly what I said! He perfect, ain't he, Cora?

He even got suspenders.

[music]

[music]

My name is H. Green.

The "H" is for happy to meet you.

You must be Cora Jean. I feel like I know you already!

Mr. Brown done gave me your whole "re-zoom."

-"Re-zoom?" -Cora, yes.

A "re-zoom" is for stuff that you done already done

in the previous life.

I guess they mean "r�sum�."

Okay, Ms. Fancy, we don't speak French.

Yes, we speak America!

Ain't that right?

Your hands is- What you been-

Your hands strong! I'm bleedin'!

I strengthen my hands every day

choppin' karate boards in my basement.

Yah!

-Shut up! -I won't!

-Get out of here! -I can't!

'Cause you know what? I be in my garage,

and I put some hip-hop music on,

and I put one of them Chinese silent movies on.

And I be chopping boards-wah!

So...yeah.

-[indistinct] -Yes, yes!

That can't be true. 'Cause hip-hop is my jam!

-It is? -Yeah!

'Cause you see, I can beatbox,

I can pop, lock, drop it. Check this out.

Pop, pop, pop...

Pop it to me. Pop it to me.

-Oh, he popped it to me! -Oh, oh, oh...

Oh, look at, he's coming back around.

Shram! Look at that!

What in the 1982 is goin' on in here?

I'm not sure, but I wish it would stop.

Yes! Hey, have you ever heard of Doug E. Fresh's

remix tape?

Uh, from '86 or '87?

-Both of them! -[laughs]

Only in my b-boy dreams!

Shut up! I got it in my car! Come on!

Ooh!

Did you do that?

Yes.

That is very nice!

Oh, my, thank you, Mr. Green.

Now, this reminds me of my pet turtle, Aloysius.

[tearfully] May he rest in peace...

[Mr. Brown] Come on! I said the same thing!

[Mr. Green beatboxes]

I don't like him.

You say that 'cause he said somethin' about your painting.

Well yes, clearly, but also because

I don't think he's the right man for you.

What, because he looks exactly like Mr. Brown?

Yes.

Oh, I get it, I get it. I know.

I only have enough room for one colorful man in my life,

my daddy.

That settles it.

So what are you gonna tell him?

I'm not gonna tell him anything.

I'm gonna date him.

You're gonna date Mr. Green, the rainbow suspenders-wearin',

beatboxing, moonwalking kung fool

that just walked out here?

I sure am.

[music]

[chuckles]

Man, Dr. Webb gave us a lot to think about.

Who knew it could be so many factors?

It could be me or you.

I gotta get a whole new set of underwear.

You guys are back from the doctor so soon.

Yep, Dr. Webb took some tests.

She said she gonna send us the results later on.

Ah, very good.

Here is to hoping you both are healthy

and able to conceive.

Aw, thank you.

But should that not be the case,

perhaps you should consider a donor.

Yeah, you know, we talked all about that

in nursing school.

See, if you want the child to have strong genes

from the motherland, well,

I am willing to donate.

What?

Via Petri dish, of course.

Now, we'll call you. Don't call us.

Okay, very good. I will keep my phone on.

Put it on silent.

You know what, babe?

What Efe said is actually not a bad idea.

Please, you're not getting Efe's joloff, baby.

What are you talkin' about?

I didn't mean Efe's, baby. I'm just saying.

Like, so hypothetically speaking,

if we did go the donor route, you know,

it might be a good idea to use somebody we know.

Yeah, instead of a stranger. I can see that.

I mean, now, we not usin' anybody from this facility.

Can you imagine that?

What if we used Anastasia eggs

and the baby grew up to be a famous actress?

Wait, now, if we get pregnant using Ms. Anastasia's eggs,

then we are officially in our last days, honey,

'cause that's a straight-up miracle.

-I know, right? -Oh my gosh.

What about your friend Nicki?

She's, like, super athletic. Smart, too.

Eh, I like her, but she be cheatin' at Spades.

Hell no, that's out.

Ooh, what about Alistair?

Now, he has a good job.

I mean, nice buns.

And then he always brings somethin' to the cookout.

-I like him! -Hold up, hold up, hold up...

-Nice smile. -What you say, nice buns?

Hazel eyes... Huh?

-Nice buns? -What?

Why are you lookin' at his butt?

Uh...ooh, I didn't... I don't look at his butt.

I just know he be goin'... He be goin' to the gym.

He be workin' out. That's all I was saying.

All right. Look, baby,

don't be lookin' at the shape of my friends, okay?

Right.

Ain't like I said somethin' about Nicki bedonk-a-donk.

'Cause everybody knows she got one.

[laughs]

You be lookin' at Nicki bedonk-a-donk?

I mean, they be lookin' at me.

Jeremy!

That's like asking an astronaut if he look at Jupiter.

That thing is, like, pow!

Okay, you know what? If we go to the donor route,

we definitely gonna use an anonymous one.

Damn skippy. That's what I thought.

[phone chimes]

-Is that Dr. Webb? -Yes, it is.

She said that, um, we should have the results

for our fertility test later tonight.

-Perfect. -Mm-hmm.

All right, now look. Listen, give me a hug.

Just give me a hug now

'cause I know you gonna be sad when you find out it's you.

It's not gonna be me! It's gonna be you.

I'm good, I'm good.

Please, Lord, let it be him.

Wait, please let it be him!

Ooh!

[music]

How can you date that man in good conscience, Cora?

You know he's not the right match for you!

You're just saying that because he looks just like Mr. Brown.

I know! That's the problem.

I mean, if I refuse Mr. Green,

it's gonna hurt Mr. Brown's feelings.

Because it will appear as if

you think there's something wrong with Mr. Brown too?

Look at that! Can you do it like that?

You can do it too?

What!!?

I can go further.

Like the kids be doin', the side ones?

-Can you do that? -Yeah!

What!?

-Look at you. -Pip, pat, pip, pat...

If I throw it to you, if I throw it to you...

Schwap!

Can you imagine Mr. Green moonwalking like that

all over your house every day for the rest of your life?

[Cora] Yeah.

No, Mr. Brown?

Mr. Brown?

Can I speak to you in private, please?

Cora, you know we just alike.

Anything you gon' say to me,

you can say in front of Mr. Green.

Okay, Mr. Brown. Well, Mr. Green and I

are not a good match.

Cora...

Well, what's wrong? Is it his style?

No, his style is fine.

Is it his pop, lock, drop, and roll, Cora?

His dancin' is fine, Mr. Brown.

You think-his bald head? You don't like his bald head.

His bald head is attractive, Mr. Brown.

-Well, Cora... -[Both] What's the problem?

That's the problem, Mr. Brown!

I mean, I love you, and Mr. Green is a very nice man.

But y'all are too much alike for me to date!

Cora, you just broke my heart.

[Cora] Mr. Brown, I don't mean-

Cora, you done broke it. You did mean to break it, Cora!

You said somethin' wrong with your daddy.

Oh, Cora, about to have "nerve-less" breakdown.

Don't breakdown, Mr. Brown! I'm sorry!

[wails]

How could you do this to me? How could you do this to me!?

I'm sorry, Mr. Brown, listen!

Look, look at this picture.

[whines]

[Cora] Please!

Come on-

[whines]

[inhales]

[sobs]

I need y'all to pull yourself together.

Oh, Jesus!

Pull yourself together!

Mr. Brown, look. Look at this picture.

This picture's nice enough for you to put on your wall, right?

Yeah.

Okay, now would you put two of these on your wall?

[Both] No.

That's what I'm sayin', Mr. Brown.

How wonderful you are and how nice Mr. Green is.

I mean, I only have enough space in my life for one of you guys.

-Okay. -No, no...

Ms. Cora, that was wonderfully put.

Mr. Brown, you did not lie about your daughter.

She is a great catch! Just not for my net.

Thank you for understanding, and it's nothing personal, sir.

Girl, you just dodged a bullet.

No, no, it's fine, because I know

that my perfect woman is out there for me somewhere.

Yes, Doc, yes, preach.

Or in here somewhere...

-No, out there. -Out there.

Definitely out there.

Out there. Out there.

-If we- -Oh, no, no.

Out there. Oh, there's your perfect woman!

She got suspenders on!

Cora, you sweat?

You sweatin' like a whore at church.

[sighs]

[screams]

[music]

[music]

Did Dr. Webb send you the results?

Mm-hmm.

Yep, she said your sperm is healthy.

Ah, told you! Boom-shaka-laka.

Told you.

But your count is low.

[Both] Damn.

I know, baby, look. It's not the end of the world.

It just means we might have to explore some other options,

like in vitro fertilization?

You know, that's if we try for, like, six months to a year

without any success.

So I gotta drink these nasty-ass shakes

for a couple more years, huh?

Mm. She said my eggs are fine.

And that's great.

Yeah, but remember, I am at a...advanced maternal age,

so there may be risks if we get pregnant.

Yeah, it's a lot goin' on.

Mm, yeah it's a lot goin' on now without us getting pregnant.

[sighs]

I cannot.

Sandra's back home. Philip's...Philip.

I cannot believe I'm about to say this, but...

maybe we should stop trying?

I don't know, if it happens, it happens.

So I can stop drinking these nasty-ass shakes, huh?

Yo, these things give me the bubble guts.

That's why I walk to

the opposite end of the room sometimes

and you be followin', like, yo, stay over there.

Did you just let one out now?

They just be seepin' out, I'm sorry.

-Gross! -I'm sorry. Here take that,

-go ahead. -Ugh, your farts stink! [laughs]

I'm talkin' to you from over here.

Whew! Yeah, that one was...

I mean, we have fun tryin', though.

Let's try one more time.

-I'll meet you in the bedroom. -One more time!

[laughs]

-Wait now, I gotta fart again. -[Leah] Gross!

[music]

[music]

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