Original subtitles

‐ Hey! So, I have a little treat for you guys today...

‐ Hey, everyone!

Should I just... ‐ Yeah, go ahead.

‐ Okay. So, kind of a big question, but how do you know where you belong?

Is it where you're from or where you're going,

or maybe even a place you've never thought of before?

I'm not being rhetorical, I literally have no idea.

So, if you have any thoughts, slide into my DMs

because things have been super confusing around here.

(lighthearted guitar melody)

Have you seen my notebook?

I could've sworn I left it here on the counter, but again,

I could've sworn I saw Joe Jonas at the gas station last week.

‐ Okay, stop, sit.

Close your eyes. Breathe.

Now, where did you leave it last? ‐ Is that daal?

‐ Your favorite. ‐ You only make daal when you have bad news.

‐ That's not true. ‐ It sure is.

Grandma died; you lost your job:

each memory is seared into my mind

with the rich aromas of India. ‐ Everything's copacetic, baby.

Now, do you want garlic naan or regular?

‐ What happened to radical honesty?

‐ Well, not to reward your impatience but I got a new job.

‐ That's amazing!

‐ See? This is what happens when you project...

‐ (together): ...what you want into the universe.

‐ So, what's the new gig? ‐ Oh, nothing major,

just my dream of being a graphic designer.

‐ Slay all day! When do you start?

‐ Few weeks, maybe a little bit longer once we get settled into the new place.

‐ New place? ‐ Uh, yeah.

Yeah. That's the best part,

it's in New Mexico. Sun, cacti and not a snow shovel in sight.

‐ But what about your job here?

You just got the landscaping van. ‐ Honey,

you're focusing on the past. We need to look ahead.

‐ I'm focusing on the right now as in, I like it here right now.

‐ Six months ago, this place didn't exactly spark joy for you.

Is this about that Tyler boy?

‐ How could you possibly ask me that at a time like this?

And we're just friends! He's Holly's old crush

and I would never let a boy come between us, and don't change the subject!

‐ Sweetheart, you'll love New Mexico, okay?

We won't have to drive two hours to get our hair done, and no snow!

‐ But I love tobogganing and...

snow‐shoeing and cross country skiing!

‐ You've never done any of those things. Okay, you're a Libra.

You make new friends wherever we go, you always do.

‐ Don't use my charm and exceptional social skills against me.

I thought we were a team,

why didn't you talk to me about this? ‐ Honey,

this place isn't our home. We have no roots here.

(birds chirping)

‐ Found it. ‐Don't forget your lunch, baby.

‐ Keep it. Wait, is it a kale beet salad?

‐ With candied almonds.

‐ I'm still mad.

(theme song) ‐ ♪♪ You and me run to a different beat ♪

♪ We are brave, lead the way ♪

♪ lead the way! Be the you inside ♪

♪ and watch the world take flight ♪

♪ We are brave, lead the way ♪

♪ lead the way! ♪

♪ Be the change ♪

♪ Be the change ♪

♪ Gotta be the change.♪♪

‐ I'm open, I'm open! (whistle)

(panting)

‐ How's that knee feeling? ‐ Can't complain.

Physio really helped. Why, did I look shaky on the returns?

‐ I'm afraid I have some bad news.

You'll...

Have to come back and serve as team captain.

(laughing) ‐ You can't do that to me, man, come on!

‐ You look good, you look good.

‐ Hey Warren! Guess what, I‐‐ (locker slams shut)

What are you doing? ‐ Oh, you know,

just a little corrective measure.

‐ Seriously.

‐ Our boy Jack has a bad case of butterfingers.

He keeps dropping the ball and costing us games so I figured I'd...

Give him a hand with his grip.

(Warren laughs quietly)

‐ Well, in unrelated news, my knee is looking good

and coach gave me the okay to get back on the field.

‐ Oh captain, my captain! That's great news, man.

Want to give me a hand?

‐ I'll see you out there.

(Warren chuckles to himself)

‐ The concept is simple.

Use electricity from an insulated aluminium brace

on Robby's injured leg to expedite recovery.

‐ If I was a certified genius like you,

there are a lot of other things about Robby that I would have fixed first.

‐ I'm a scientist, not a miracle worker.

‐ This is but the first stop on your path to solving all the world's problems.

Do you think you can work on disappearing rainforest next?

‐ I'll add it to my to‐do list.

(phone buzzes)

What's Oscar saying?

‐ He's helping me record a new song. He's got ideas.

‐ Oh, I bet he does. ‐ (with emphasis): Anyways,

did you hear about the new slide they're building at the water park for next year?

‐ Oh, We have got to be there opening day.

That thing is a marvel of engineering.

‐ Hey! So where are you on a scale from yes to heck yes

on basically becoming mermaids and living at the water park next summer?

‐ Changing your physiology is optional. ‐ Sorry,

I'm just so close to finishing a Michelle Obama audiobook.

‐ Ooh! Tell me about it after!

(indistinct chatter) ‐ Is this seat free?

‐ I've given up on thinking I have a say about anything.

‐ Turn to the person sitting next to you.

That person will be your partner

for the day. (excited squeals)

(whistle)

(Warren giggles) ‐ Look at the way he...

(Jack groans with pain) Classic.

Look at, look: ten points Slytherin!

Look at the way he's running.

‐ No, Jack, you got to hustle! Let's go!

(Jack groans in pain)

‐ Sorry, Coach. It's just...

(teammates' laughter continues) I'm chafing like crazy!

‐ Is that honey?

‐ It's everywhere, sir.

(whispers) Everywhere. ‐ Okay. Okay.

TMI, Jack. Who did this?

‐ Not sure, sir.

‐ Well, hit the showers, I guess.

‐ Permission to take my time?

‐ Granted.

‐ Ow, ow, ow, ow... (teammates snicker)

‐ Alright, welcome to Pioneer Village! The village dates back

to when the town was founded in 1818.

Your task, should you choose to accept it... Kidding!

There is no choice, you have to do it! Is to fill out

that questionnaire before the end of the day!

Chart your family background at the Genealogy Centre

and figure out what role your ancestors would have played

in the village. Have fun!

‐ My grandma's been telling me about the Hobbie ancestry since I was in diapers.

Apparently, my great‐great‐great‐great aunt

was one of the first female sheriffs. ‐ You're the descendent

of a super awesome, stereotype‐busting lady?

Consider me shocked.

‐ Those are big boots to fill.

‐ So your family's been in Collinsville for like,

a million generations. Mine's only been here for three

and that includes me.

‐ It's not a competition. Roots are roots,

no matter how deep they go.

They keep you planted.

‐ You should embroider that on a pillow.

‐ Let's just get this over with

then find some over‐priced fried food

with which to drown our sorrows.

‐ I knew you had sorrows.

Well, we're stuck together all day, so tell me what's wrong.

You brought this upon yourself.

What's wrong?

(loudly) What's wrong?

(very loudly) What's wrong!?

‐ Okay, fine!

My mom and I are moving.

Again.

Just look up your family tree, okay?

‐ Holly and Amy must be devastated.

‐ I haven't told them.

‐ You know,

at least you're getting away from this small‐minded town!

I mean, I'm stuck here 'til college.

‐ Must be nice to feel settled into a place.

I've never been anywhere that feels like home,

except maybe here.

Here as in Collinsville, not as in the Genealogy Centre.

‐ I figured that. ‐ Okay, Flaherty.

Boom, you're welcome.

Family roots going back to the dinosaurs. ‐ Your turn.

‐ Pointless.

We moved here six months ago. Like my mom said,

there's nothing keeping us here.

‐ You were saying?

‐ That can't be right. ‐ Let's see here.

It sure is. Parish is a historic name in these parts. ‐ You're joking, right?

‐ If I was joking, you would know it

because you would be laughing uncontrollably.

But I think I saw a Parish working over here

at the stables. ‐ Thanks, Mr. Alton.

‐ Am I missing something?

‐ If I can prove to my mom

that we have roots here in Collinsville,

maybe I can convince her to stay.

She believes in signs from the universe,

what if she can be equally swayed by signs from the past?

That must be her. (cows moo)

Hi! You wouldn't happen to be a Parish, would you?

‐ (in an affected accent): Verily, that I am.

Eliza Parish. A pleasure to make thine acquaintance.

‐ Why is she talking like that? ‐ I think she needs to stay in character.

‐ Wouldst thou like to assist with my chore?

‐ So, this is going to sound weird,

but I think we might be related? I'm a Parish too,

Piper Parish. And this is Tyler, but

he's not really relevant to the matter at hand. ‐ Hey!

(Eliza laughs) ‐ Methinks thee doth sound

a kin to mine maternal aunt, Margaret? Prithee, does thou count thyself among

the Donaldson‐Parishes, wither the fair state of Kentucky?

‐ If I understand what you're asking, and I'm not sure that I do, then no.

‐ This feels really weird

but is really fun, you gotta try this!

‐ Perhaps thine parentage sprung forth

from the golden fields of Saskatoon?

‐ I'm not sure where that is but my mom's parents come from Georgia.

‐ Then I regret to inform you

that thy blood and mine dost flow in disparate streams.

‐ Wait, we have the same last name. I mean,

we have to related somewhere down the line, right?

‐ (in a normal voice): Parish is a pretty common last name all across the United States.

It means "living close to the parish," or church.

‐ Thanks anyways.

‐ I'm sorry, Piper. (phone buzzes)

You know, maybe we could go finish the assignment.

‐ You go ahead. I got to get out of here.

‐ Where are you going to go?

(thoughtful yet whimsical folk)

Piper, wait up! Piper!

‐ Wait, so like, actual honey?

That must have been so embarrassing and uncomfortable.

‐ It did not look fun. ‐ Well, good thing you're back as captain,

so you can bring order to this chaos.

What did Coach say? Did he suspend Warren?

‐ You didn't tell him? ‐ It was just a prank.

It was a really stupid prank, but still.

‐ Robby Hobbie, you cannot let Warren get away with this

just because he's your best friend! ‐ That is not what I'm doing!

‐ It absolutely is! You're Team Captain.

It's your duty to take care of things like this.

‐ And then what? Then, then Warren hates me forever,

the rest of the team feels super awkward

and Jack gets picked on more because he's a snitch?

Like if you rock the boat. you end up in the water.

And there are gators in the water.

And snakes, and stuff.

‐ Do you want your players to think they can be humiliated

without consequence? You set the tone for the team.

I got to go.

Oh, also,

it's too cold here for alligators,

so at worst the water would be filled with otters which... Cute.

(thoughtful guitar chords)

‐ Alright.

Brian, Carl, Danielle, Pam,

Piper? Tyler?

Has anyone seen Miss Parish or Mr. Flaherty?

‐ Not since this morning.

She hasn't responded to any of my texts.

Do you think something's wrong? ‐ I'm sure they're just late.

‐ What if they got lost in the forest?

What if one of them fell down a well?

‐ I can't imagine there are a lot of open wells around here,

I'm sure she's fine. If Tyler's missing too,

then they're probably together.

‐ Has anyone bothered to check out all the hot pioneer makeout spots?

‐ Excuse me? Piper would never. ‐ What makes you so sure?

Teen girl and cute boy split off from class is a story

that only ends in kissing. (laughs derisively)

‐ You slander her name again and‐‐ ‐ Let's keep it civil!

Stay put. I'll be back in a minute.

(light guitar music)

(students chatter indistinctly)

‐ Dude, can you believe it?

It's tapioca again.

‐ We need to talk.

‐ Are you breaking up with me?

You didn't bust your knee again, did you?

‐ No, no I'm fine. I'm fine. But...

I think you should apologize to Jack

and find a way to make it right.

‐ That's a good one. ‐ I'm serious.

‐ Who made you the Chief of Police?

‐ Come on, man. Just do me this one solid.

I can't have this kind of behaviour on the team,

it's bad for morale. ‐ What happened to you, man?

Did you break your funny bone or something?

‐ Come on, just apologize or‐‐

‐ Or what?

‐ I'll tell Coach it was you and recommend he suspend you.

‐ You're kidding. ‐ No, I'm not.

It's my responsibility to look out‐‐

‐ Sorry, you were saying?

‐ (in the background): That's my locker!

‐ Hey!

(bird chirping)

(Piper sniffs)

‐ It can't be that bad.

‐ It tastes like memories.

Holly always makes me PB & J.

The whole point in trying to get away from everyone was to,

you know, get away from everyone! This is what I wanted.

No moms trying to use daal as a psychic salve,

no friends with amazing mermaid plans you can't be a part of.

We could scream right now and no one would stop us.

(screaming)

‐ Feel better now? ‐ Of all people,

I would've thought you need this too.

‐ Yeah, well, I prefer to deal

with my parents' impending divorce by screaming internally.

‐ Sounds healthy. Let's keep walking.

‐ You know, or we could go back and catch the bus back to town.

‐ No thank you, sir.

‐ You know, if there's one thing I know,

you can't just run away from your problems.

I'm speaking from first‐hand experience here.

If I were you, I would spend as much time

with my friends as I can. ‐ There's no point.

Once I leave, none of it will matter.

‐ You, Holly and Amy will still be friends no matter where you are.

‐ Everyone says that but eventually the texts stop coming through

and you go back to being strangers.

I can't go through it all again.

I have a shoebox filled with friendship bracelets.

You want to know how many of those best friends I still talk to?

None. The saddest shoebox.

Why am I still keeping those? What's wrong with me? Anyway,

when you and Holly get married, I won't even be on the invite list.

‐ In what bonkers universe do you think me and Holly are going to get married?

‐ In all of them! Your lives will go on without me

and eventually you won't even remember me anymore. You'll be like, "Oh, Piper?

That name sounds kind of familiar. Was she the waiter we had at brunch last weekend?"

‐ So that's it? You're just going to ignore everyone until you leave?

‐ You don't get it. It'll be easier for everyone.

‐ You're right. I don't get it.

But I also don't want to get stranded out here, either.

‐ Now we know how Jack felt. ‐ Just give me a break, man,‐‐

‐ Talk louder, I can't hear you. There's pudding in my ear.

‐ Look, it was a prank. I don't understand,

we used to do this stuff all the time. ‐ Yeah, we used to.

We're seniors now. ‐ So? It's still funny!

‐ It's actually kind of mean, especially because Jack's a freshman.

‐ When we were freshmen, the seniors did this stuff all the time.

Do you remember that one time that we were sitting on the bench

and the seniors tied our laces together so that when Coach called us,

we went on the field, we fell flat on our face! That was hilarious!

‐ Do you remember how mad we were after that? We wanted to quit the team.

‐ Regardless, who else is going to put someone in their place?

‐ Why do we have to? Just because we had to deal with a bunch of nonsense

from the seniors doesn't make it okay for us to do it too.

We could break the cycle.

(clothes stick audibly to the bench) Oh, gross!

‐ And they lived to tell the tale.

‐ Spoiler alert! This one has a sad ending.

‐ (Holly): Oh, thank goodness you're okay! I was so worried something bad had‐‐

‐ (Mr. Alton): Holly. Back on the bus.

‐ Oh, I'm sorry! Were you saying something? No? Well, we've been dating behind your back.

That's right. We've been holding hands all over town.

Fields, barns, The Calico, for weeks! So much hand‐holding, our palms are chapped

and we need to apply multiple applications of moisturizing cream.

‐ What?

‐ Why aren't we live‐streaming this?

‐What are you doing? ‐ I know you probably hate me now

but I don't care. I never cared.

I'm basically the supervillain in the movie of your life.

Lasers and stuff.

‐ Piper... ‐ (Mr. Alton): Okay.

Everybody back on the bus. Now.

You can continue whatever this is on your own time.

And Piper, you sit with me.

(forlorn acoustic guitar)

‐ You okay?

(Mr. Alton sighs)

‐ I can't decide on a suitable punishment for your little escapade,

so give me some context.

What were you and Mr. Flaherty doing miles away from

the Pioneer Village?

‐ Looking for the gift shop. ‐ Hm. I see.

And did you find anything interesting

in the Genealogy Centre? ‐ Just that I don't belong here.

‐ I know I'm just the teacher

but if you ever need to talk. I mean, I know it's none of my business,

but even I can tell that this doesn't seem like you.

‐ My mom and I are moving away.

‐ Oh. I'm sorry. That's unfortunate.

‐ Why do I even bother making friends?

I'm just going to lose them when I move anyway.

From now on, it's just going to be me and some trusty pet

I've yet to own. What have you heard about chinchillas?

‐ Miss Parish, pushing people away is no way to live.

I know it hurts, but if you don't say goodbye on good terms,

it'll hurt more. ‐ How could it possibly hurt more?

‐ You'll figure this out as you get older,

but regret is hard to live with.

‐ Great pep talk, just really excellent.

‐ Look, there's not a lot we can control in life

so if you have an opportunity to make things right, take it.

Now, as far as your punishment goes,

I'm going to let you off with a warning

but only because I'm such a great teacher.

‐ Jack‐Man, look.

That stuff with the honey was really stupid.

That's not what we built this team to be,

and that's not the guy I want to be.

Everyone in this room knows how good you are

and I just wanted to say I'm sorry, so.

‐ Thanks man. ‐ Yeah.

(indistinct background chatter)

‐ That was really cool of you, man. ‐ Yeah, well.

Don't let word go around I'm getting soft.

‐ Aw, come on. Everyone knows you've always been soft.

‐ Yeah. Um, hey, man.

I'm sorry for freaking out at you earlier like that.

It was just when you said that stuff, I was just like,

Who is this dude and where's Robby? You know? I...

‐ Yeah. I'm the same guy, just...

Look, do you ever just think about what kind of person you want to be?

‐ Yeah, I want to be the guy that goes to sleep on a giant pile of money.

‐ And I want to be the guy who doesn't make other people feel bad.

‐ Yeah. That's not bad, either.

‐ Come on.

‐ Hey. If this is some long con

to lower my defences and pull off the greatest prank

of all time? Respect.

(they giggle)

‐ My mom and I are moving away.

She told me this morning and it totally messed me up

and I thought that if I made you hate me,

it would make it easier for me to leave, so I held hands

with Tyler, which was totally a mistake

and I hope you can forgive me, but if you can't,

good news is you only have to wait a few weeks.

‐ You're leaving?

(Holly sobs) ‐ But I love you.

‐ I love you too.

And I wish I didn't have to go.

This town will be so boring without me.

‐ Maybe you don't have to go. ‐ Holly, I'm not running away again.

Unless it's to Maui. Are we running away to Maui?

‐ Maybe you can stay with us We have a guest bedroom.

‐ Then why do you share a room with your sister?

‐ An excellent question my parents have yet

to provide a satisfactory answer for.

I mean, I'd still have to check with them but... ‐ Minor detail.

‐ I don't care what it takes.

I never want to lose you.

‐ Don't want to lose you either.

(both cry‐laugh)

‐ (together): Roomies!