Original subtitles

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-These are... Stories of the saints.

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[ rattling ]

[ whistling ]

[ clanging ]

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-Aah!

[ people shouting ]

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-[ shouting ]

Raahh! Aah!

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-We know that moses the black,

As he came to be known, had an unlikely beginning for a saint.

Around the middle of the fourth century,

He'd become the leader of a band of very violent outlaws

That robbed and murdered victims in alexandria

And all along the nile valley.

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[ all cheering ]

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[ both moaning, panting ]

Moses led the kind of life that can arouse revolt in the soul.

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-Raaahhh!

-[ groaning ]

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-Moses?

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-[ grunts ]

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[ sighs, pants ]

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-Moses found himself at one of the desert communities founded

By ascetic christian monks,

Who gave away all of their worldly possessions.

They were led by their abbot, isidore.

Paul of thebes, who was born in the third century,

Was known as the first desert hermit.

He lived in a cave,

And it's said that ravens brought him his food,

Just like elijah at kerith.

It was anthony the great,

An egyptian monk, who started the real movement.

And this was decades before moses arrived at scetis.

-Shh.

-[ gasps ] -shh!

Shh. Quiet, my son. You are with us now.

-What? What?

I...

-Take some time to recall yourself.

Drink a bit at a time. You have slept long and well.

-How long have I been here?

-Two days.

-What is this place?

-The desert of scetis.

-But this place where we are?

-This is an assembly of men devoted to god.

-Huh. I've heard of you. You are holy men.

-We are christian brothers.

-Has anyone come here looking for me?

-No.

Why did you come to us?

-Uh, I didn't know where I was going.

-I see. What were you fleeing from?

-Will you give me refuge here?

-If you choose to live among us here in the desert,

Then you must choose to live as we do.

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Oh, christ god, bless this food and drink of your servants,

You who are holy now and forever,

Through the ages of ages.

Amen.

Before we eat our bread,

We must welcome this fellow traveler who has come to us.

This man's name is moses.

-Welcome, brother moses.

-Thank you.

-Moses came to us in a state of terrible distress.

-I will work hard to follow the ways of god.

-There's only one way.

-The way of god.

-John, chapter eight.

-[ exhales ]

-Moses learned the rhythms and the routines of the monastery,

And he followed them exactly.

-Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life,

What you will eat or drink,

Or about your body, what you will wear.

Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?

Look at the birds of the air.

They do not sow or reap or store away in barns,

And yet your heavenly father feeds them.

-Moses?

Moses?!

I would like you to be the keeper of our gospels,

Our most valuable possession.

-Why have you given me this responsibility?

-Lord jesus christ,

Who stretched out your hands on the cross

And whom you redeem us with your divine blood,

Forgive us sinners,

For none of our thoughts are hidden from you.

Pardon we ask for, pardon we hope for,

Pardon we trust to have.

You who are pitying and merciful, spare and forgive us.

Amen.

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-We need water.

I'll go. -That's moses' task.

-He isn't here.

-He'll be back.

[ door slams ]

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-How do we change?

How do we cease acting on urges and habits

That we've just felt throughout our lives?

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[ sheep bleats ]

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-Good morning...Brother moses.

-Good morning, brother jerome.

-I was on my way to bring water for the morning.

-Do you want me to help you?

-No.

-Would you prefer to walk behind me?

-No.

We'll walk together.

-Thank you.

-May you walk in grace, brother moses.

-Sometimes judgment turns into mercy.

Just like that... Like water turning into wine.

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Moses applied himself to his penance

And to his work with intensity.

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-Blessed are the poor in spirit,

For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,

For they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see god.

Blessed are the peacemakers,

For they will be called children of god.

Blessed are those who are persecuted

Because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

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-[ panting ]

-"'he who is without sin among you,

Let him be the first to throw a stone at her.'

They started to leave one by one,

And only jesus and the woman were left.

Jesus said, 'woman, where are they?

Did anyone condemn you?' she said, 'no one, lord.'

And jesus said, 'I do not condemn you, either.

Go, from now on sin no more.'"

-Good.

-Oh, it's john, chapter eight.

[ both laugh ]

[ door creaks ]

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-Aah!

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-[ panting ]

These men came here to rob us.

-This cannot be. Moses!

-You?

-You are here.

-Those are my old comrades.

-Moses, now you know what you must do.

-Please forgive me, forgive me for hurting you.

-This man could have killed us both in one blow.

Thank you.

Moses. [ panting ]

-Aaahhhh!

-[ pants ]

-Aaaahhhhh!

Aaahhhh!

[ panting ]

-Could he erase his past?

Can anyone? He prayed 50 times a day.

He refused himself sleep.

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It's a matter of pride.

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No matter what moses did,

He just could not reconcile his past.

-I will leave. You won't have to ask me.

I'm an abomination.

I will never pay for what I've done,

In the eyes of the lord...

Not if I lived a thousand years

And spent every hour in service to my brothers.

I will never rid myself of the filthy sins I've committed.

[ sighs ]

Father... You don't know what I've done.

-Go on.

-My soul is as black as the darkest cave.

-The soul is beyond our reach.

-I'm not redeemable.

-Redemption is open to us all at every moment.

Don't believe that you're an exception.

-I've stolen.

I've done murder...

...Rivers of blood.

Rivers of blood!

-You've done these things.

Now you are here.

-I'm a devil. I'm the personification of evil!

-You found the way to redemption.

-I've murdered men and women with my bare hands!

-You've come here! -I'm damned!

-Of all the places of the world, you came here, to us, to god!

-I have done murder with my hands.

No, I'm not redeemable. Ah! Don't you hear me?!

I will never rid myself of these demons!

These demons! Never!

Never! -Very good, moses.

Very good.

-How can you say such a thing to me?

Are you a demon?

-The real torment is to know

That our demons are here to stay with us.

-I don't understand. -Don't be a child!

Who can rid himself of the memories of his sins?

I committed sins that always come back to me

As if they've just happened.

It's the way it is.

It's the way it shall be, always.

The more we try to rid ourselves of the memory of our sins,

The more they break us.

That's because they're not meant to be vanquished.

They are meant to be lived with.

-Lived...With?

-Yes.

-How can I live with this?

-Lived with and treated with patience.

-You're a man of god saying these words.

-To love god is to love oneself as one loves his brother.

[ laughs] it is a paradox.

-I-

-We, we all live in god, in his love.

You are not alone, brother moses.

You are not alone.

-God is good.

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Our god...Is good.

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-Moses' transformation,

His abandonment of greed and murder and indolence,

Then pride, then lust,

Then attachment to the material world, then his own ego,

It happened the way it always does -- over time,

Through daily ritual and practice,

To the point where everything becomes prayer.

-Let him be the first to throw a stone at her.

They started to leave one by one,

And only jesus and a woman were left.

Jesus said, "woman, where are they?

Did anyone condemn you?" she said, "no one, lord."

And jesus said, "I do not condemn you, either.

Go. From now on sin no more."

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-The years went by.

Isidore died, and moses became a venerable and a beloved figure.

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-Moses!

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-Bring me some water, if you please.

Are you able to speak, my son?

-Sanctuary. Sanctuary. You have to give me refuge.

I have killed my father.

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You have nothing to say?

-I've heard you.

-It's the most terrible thing a person can do.

I've never hurt anyone.

-And now you have.

-I'll tell you why I did it.

He raped my sister.

-[ sighs ]

-You're judging me.

Behind your compassion.

-My son, there is no reason to put thoughts into our heads.

You knocked on our door, and we opened it.

-That one. He's judging me. -I know you.

I've traded with your father several seasons ago.

-So, why do you stare at me?

Stop looking at me!

-My son.

What you've done can't be undone.

And the same goes for what your father did to your sister.

You can't walk backwards for the rest of your life.

Very difficult.

And you will not find an instant remedy, certainly not here.

Here, there is only one way, and that's the way of god.

Here...And everywhere.

-There's nothing worse than what I've done.

-Then why did you try to justify yourself by talking

About avenging your sister?

Your life has changed, and now you must live differently.

-No. There's nothing worse than what I've done.

-[ sighs ] listen, my young friend.

I've done far worse.

I must rest now.

You will stay in the guest room tonight.

It was prepared for you, my friend.

-Thank you.

-Where is the young man?

-Oh. He's gone.

-Gone, when?

-In the middle of the night, I suppose.

Did you expect to find him here?

-He will perish out there.

-He won't. He knows the desert.

[ knocking on door ]

Come.

-Thank you for seeing me.

You are renowned as a wise and righteous man.

-Anyone who claims to be both of those things?

He is neither.

-I have come to understand that sin is a part

Of our worldly state,

That only the ones who've fallen into it

Can really understand it and then turn away from it.

-As you say.

-Is this correct?

-If I were to say yes, what good would it do you?

And if I were to say no, what good would that do you?

-What are you doing?

-I'm looking for a mouse.

-But you are an elder.

We come to learn from you.

-[ chuckles ] I have very little to teach.

-But when a young man comes to you for counsel...

What do you say to him?

-I tell him...

Turn up the ground of your being with a gospel plough,

And then you will see that there is a greater book,

Which is the nature of all created things.

And I say that everything changes,

That the peace and tranquility of this place

And the holy silence of the desert

Might be overrun one day and ground into dust.

And that only god is changeless...

Only god.

-In 407 a.D., when moses was near the end of his days,

A tribe of bourbon nomads started raiding

And pillaging their way throughout egypt.

And the brothers in the community rushed about

And, actually, most of them left.

But moses remained still. He stayed put.

He was just ready to face his final test.

[ clattering ]

[ pounding ]

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[ horse neighs ]

[ man screams ]

-You!

-I see you still haven't forgiven yourself.

I knew you would come back.

I would have fought to the death with you once.

Live by the sword, die by the sword.

But living here taught me another way.

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-Moses' sainthood was conferred by legend.

That's the way it happened

In those early days of christianity.

And the story of his life is a pure embodiment

Of two intertwined values,

Always radical at the beating heart of christ's teaching...

...Forgiveness and redemption.

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I hadn't heard of moses the black before,

Looking into the research of this.

I mean, it's kind of,

You know, difficult to imagine a murderer who becomes a saint.

The question is, can anyone be redeemed?

-I think the answer to that is yes.

I think moses' life shows that.

The tradition of the desert fathers and desert mothers

Is also because they're in isolation.

They're in the desert,

The tradition of fighting against demons.

But I think we all can identify with that.

We all have voices or forces going on within us.

So, I think even though these stories,

You know, are really extreme,

They have a lot to tell the modern person about, you know,

How the spiritual life really is kind of a battle.

-I love this period of christianity,

This radical asceticism, and these solitary calls.

They're people who are living on spiders and scorpions.

-Well, I mean, the thing is that they were, I think,

Distancing themselves from what was becoming

A kind of corruption in the cities of,

"we live this way. No, we believe in this."

All this fighting going on, everything. Get away.

-I mean, I know he was fleeing after the,

You know, he was fleeing his companions,

But he was called out there, wasn't he?

-I don't know if he was called. I think more he just somehow,

In the midst of all the madness of killing and robbing and lust

And everything, he just somehow completely emptied of everything

And didn't know where he was, who he was,

And he could not go on.

-I think, you know, today people experience that.

You know, they have riches and power and fame and all this...

-And cocaine. [ laughter ]

-And they find it not satisfying.

You know, augustine, you know, who you quoted earlier says,

"our hearts are restless until they rest in you," right?

-Yet it's not enough. He has to make himself suffer.

-I think he was suffering.

-Well, he has to make himself do a kind of physical

And carnal suffering.

Isidore at one point tells him, "you don't have to do this."

-That's right.

-You mean the physical mortifications?

-Yeah, the physical mortification.

And I believe he, according to the story,

Did it for over a period of years.

-Which is also something that's hard

For people to understand today.

I mean, jesuits,

Not too long ago, were supposed to use

The flag... -Ah, I see.

-...The flagella.

And, you know, we're supposed to be not only --

-What do you mean, "not too long ago"?

Like, how long?

-Uh, like the '40s, maybe? -Really?!

-The '30s and '40s, yeah. -How you dodged a bullet.

-Why, lucky me. [ laughter ]

But the idea was not only

That you would be sort of mastering your flesh,

But it was also a kind of penance, too.

-Yes, of course. -But merton said, famously,

"why don't you mortify yourself?"

And thomas merton said, "life is mortifying enough."

-That's right.

-Which is what isidore says, essentially, too.

-Yeah, it's enough.

-I feel like what you're getting at, though,

Is that entering the monastery is not a form of cheap grace.

He's there, and he's still tormented.

He's still consumed by guilt. -That's right.

-It's not going to go away in five minutes or five years.

And, at several points, the spiritual director, in a sense,

Is saying, "let it go."

But it's really weighing on him.

He doesn't get to wipe the slate clean in any simple way.

-That's a really good point.

The monastery is the world, too, right?

So, this idea that we're getting out of the world,

It's not the world. You know, you're dealing with individuals.

You're in community,

You're dealing with your own sinfulness.

You have your needs.

And so, you know, people, I think,

Who enter the monastery to escape,

They find it in the monastery.

-Your demons come with you? -Sure. Yeah.

You know, again, the demons,

I think can sort of put people off.

But, you know, we all know what it's like

To have those forces battling within us.

-Yes, and demons may be the wrong word, but it is --

-Guilt, self-loathing, fear, terror,

Rage, pride, and all those --

-All the seven deadly sins, yeah.

The demons try to say to you there's no future

And there's no hope, right?

And so -- -you'll never change.

It's always been like this.

Everything winds up this way. You screw up everything.

-I always say anything that's a universal language

Is usually coming from the evil spirit.

-But it's interesting when you realize it's me,

My body in this apartment.

And I have a friend who loves me.

Maybe I should call them?

You know, something, just when it comes down to small scale,

Human scale, and you share it with another human being,

That that's where -- that's what happened to him,

Though, with isidore.

-Yeah. And I think the spiritual life is a battle,

Which this film shows very well at a very personal level.

-I also thought just in my own self,

That there's a force that thinks it can kill me

And go on living without me.

-Yeah, but I think if we're honest with ourselves,

We feel that pull within us basically towards good

And towards evil,

Towards generosity and towards selfishness.

-Part of what moses' integrity involves is the fact

That he is willing to live with the demons.

So, it's not just a matter of him being haunted by the demons.

It's a matter of him having the integrity

To just not brush them off or let them go,

But to really deal with the depths of what he's done

And where he's been.

-There's a tradition in our church,

And many others, you know,

The idea of penance and punishment and mortification

And flailing yourself or cudgeling yourself.

-Well, I think in the church's tradition,

The sacrament of reconciliation and confession, penance,

You know, is really meant, it's not to punish us, right?

It's not to make us feel bad. It's to help us reconcile,

You know, be reconciled to god, be reconciled to the community.

But, also, I usually give penances

That are doing something generous for somebody.

I don't say, "go and, you know, beat yourself with a whip."

It's about, as in this film,

It's about reconciliation, eventually.

He's reconciled to god.

He's reconciled to his brothers,

And he's reconciled to the community.

-You know, you grew up with asthma.

I knew a guy who grew up with asthma in glasgow

And heavy cigarette culture.

Everybody's smoking and drinking all the time.

He said to me he felt like he didn't take a full breath of air

Until he moved to the united states.

-Wow.

-So, I'm imagining moses the black

Living this life of a brigand in the city.

He probably hadn't known a moment's peace

Until he walked through those doors,

Where he wasn't watching his back,

Wondering who was going to take him out,

Wondering where the next meal was going to come from,

Or who he was going to have to off to live for the next month.

And the sense in the film is of refuge

In the deepest sense possible when he walks through that door.

-But, you know, it's interesting, paul,

How many young people feel that way today,

Not that they're murdering people or they can't breathe,

But who are completely tethered to their devices,

Whose every waking moment is filled with something --

Right? -- Who feel uncomfortable with silence

And are afraid of silence.

-We're so wired into our world of devices

That it's very hard for people to see

That one doesn't have to live that way.

-You don't have to live this way,

And you can find that separation, that solace,

That solitude that you need that's really within you.

I mean, I didn't realize

That the monasteries were fairly close by,

Although what was considered the monasteries.

-It was shocking to me to realize, yeah.

-You know, which is a great idea.

You can go and live like that for a while, yeah?

-Or at least see that there are these people out on the horizon

Who are doing something differently,

So you know that it's possible.

-There's another way to live.

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