Original subtitles

Vonnegut wrote...

we are what we pretend to be.

So we must be careful about what we pretend to be.

Hi.

So, I made this for you.

My name is Finn Elliot.

Fuck!

Clay!

Clay! Would you get out here?!

What is it, baby?

Clay!

Sweet Pea.

Have you got something you want to tell me?

These are my parents.

Eve, what's going on here?

You okay, buddy?

Take some deep breaths.

Look decent! What if the neighbors see you?

I was asleep, pumpkin.

I don't think Mom wanted me so young,

but abortion is a sin.

Honey, can I talk to you for a second?

That was Curtis' mom.

She says Finn punched him up.

Oh, my Lord.

Yeah, it's bad.

Yeah.

Thanks, Mom.

You look gorgeous.

Dad goes along with her.

Oh, my God. Let's go get some food.

I'm gonna cook you something nice.

It's easier.

- After - After

- Laughter - Your laughter

Comes tears

There'll be tears

Not much happens in this town.

You got to make your own trouble.

Always

What the fuck is wrong with you?!

What kind of person lies in the middle of the road?

I was planning on suicide.

I guess I wasn't paying attention.

But then I found Eliza.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

She's different.

She makes me feel... things.

My parents would lock me in my room for hours.

You are the man of this house!

I'm telling you. I'm not going back down to that school.

Son, I have to lock you in tonight.

Please don't.

Sorry. lt's for your own good.

Dad, he made fun of me.

He was calling me names.

I ... I believe you, son.

But you just can't hurt someone like that.

There are other ways.

- Mom hates me. - She ... No.

Oh, my Lord.

She's just disappointed.

She'll be alright tomorrow.

I have to do everything in this house.

I am watching "Wheel of Fortune."

Nobody talk to me!

It'll be alright.

I hate school. It's pointless.

I wouldn't even bother coming here, but...

her sister, Corinna, is in my class.

Hi. I'm Miss Anna Beth Joy, and I'll be your sub today.

Looks you have a pop quiz today.

This is so useless.

Please pass these back. Here you go.

Here's one for you.

And you will have 10 minutes to complete it.

Books down. Everything away, please.

Excuse me. Put your book away, please.

Did you hear me?

Put your book away!

Oh, my God! Did you do this?!

That's no way to treat a book.

I'm gonna have to tell your teacher about this!

Snitch.

Everyone put the quizzes away.

Come on. Put the quizzes away.

Read the last chapter. Out loud.

Do it, or I'm calling your parents!

What are you ... What are you ...

Finn got expelled.

Yeah, I was there, dumbass.

Are you okay?

No. Don't be so stressed out.

Thought she was gonna shit herself.

Bad boy. Bad boy.

Dumb bitches.

Crushing over psychos.

Fuck you, Sasha.

You're such a total bitch.

I heard he hit the teacher.

I thought she hit him.

Finn lost it.

She's pressing charges.

Oh.

He's really weird. I never even hear him speak.

He talked to me.

What? When?

What did he say?

Just, "Hi."

Stay away from him.

Something's wrong with him.

Ugh. I hope my mom's not home.

Eliza, is that you?

How's your mom?

Seeing a plumber...

who fixes things, so she gave him her heart.

Good for her.

How was school?

I hate school.

I used to hate it, too.

I started a new painting today.

You're all sweaty.

Why don't you girls go for a swim?

Mom, no.

How's Corinna?

Fine.

Well, don't eat all of that. It's very fattening.

Ugh!

Can you get my back?

Finn Elliott is a total psycho.

You were kind of mean to the girls earlier.

Shut up.

It's true.

They're too sensitive.

I mean, I can't just keep walking on eggshells

all the time.

They're not my responsibility.

I hope Finn falls for Eliza.

They'd make the perfect couple.

I see the way you look at him, you know.

You think he's cute.

In a dusty, wears the same clothes every day,

creepy way.

But he doesn't look at you.

Hi.

What are you reading?

Vonnegut.

According to him, a reader should have

such a complete understanding of a book

that they could finish it themselves if cockroaches

were to eat the last few pages.

Did cockroaches eat the last few pages of this one?

I like that.

You wanna take a walk?

Okay.

It's just you and your mom?

Yeah. Sort of.

Tell me about her.

Why?

I just want to get to know you.

My parents are fighting, so we moved out.

Corinna had to go with Dale.

I miss being at the house.

I like how you talk to me.

How?

Like... normal.

Tell me about a book you've read.

Um... I just finished

this crazy Russian sci-fi book from the 1960s.

So, scientists discover this second Earth,

and it's identical to ours,

except it's 800 years in the past.

And there's a scene where the main character's

kind of gone off the handle

and he meets up with an old childhood friend of his,

and he has all this red drippy stuff on his hands,

and she gets scared 'cause she thinks it's blood.

It's just strawberry juice. He's just picking strawberries.

Anyway, I liked that.

Hi.

How was school today?

Look at me.

Thank you.

Where are you going?

Did everybody miss me?

Whoo!

What?

Oh, my God, stop.

Thanks for cooking, my love.

I'm meeting some friends.

Hey! Wait. What? What ... What friends?

Will you pretend just for one night

that I'm nobody's mother?

I could do with a night out.

Stay.

I'm not a dog, Eliza.

Don't wait up!

Hi.

These are for you.

For stopping traffic and saving my life.

Do you often lie in the middle of the street?

Well, it's actually pretty great for clearing the mind.

You just have to watch out for cars.

Come on.

This is Dale. Leave a message.

I'd like another beer.

This is Dale. Leave a message.

I could've gone to college.

I was smart.

Was real smart.

This place has a way of wrapping itself around you.

This is Dale. Leave a message.

Feel like there's a big ol' umbilical cord

connecting my belly with this town.

That's a very graphic reference.

Louise?

Dale?!

I miss you.

I miss you, too, baby.

I want to sleep in my own bed.

Louise, you have some real work to do

that I can't help you with anymore.

Did you see Dr. Kilgore today?

I know you didn't go.

Dale?

You ever wish you could just disappear for a while?

Come back when things were better?

Just take it day by day

and live a day here, die a day there?

What's wrong?

I don't really like graveyards.

- Do you believe in ghosts? - No.

You should.

I should go get my mom.

The dead don't abide by time.

Alright. I'll walk you.

Careful.

Did you see this?

18 years old.

The best ones die young.

Why are we picking her up?

She needs me.

She was at a five until Dale picked up.

And now ... now she's about a seven and a half.

But I got her to eat.

How much do I owe?

Food's on me. Drinks, I put on her tab.

I don't know. Maybe you should talk to Dale.

I can take care of her myself.

I saw a bus pass through earlier.

Oregon-bound.

Out-of-state plates?

California plates.

You two planning on getting out of here sometime?

Sometime.

I'm glad to see you're alive and well.

Mmm!

Excuse me.

Oh. Your mama's all slobber-jawed.

Hey. How are you feeling?

I'm gonna look at the scale tomorrow.

Y'all still keep a cold beer out here?!

I got expelled today.

I love you.

You're really beautiful.

Mm.

I love you very much.

With all my heart.

I love you, too, Mom.

Really?

I wouldn't lie to you.

Corinna?

She loves you, too.

Hm.

I'll be outside.

- Still craving your kiss - Stop, please.

Whoa. lt's okay. It's fine. I got her.

Mom! I'm so sorry.

Eliza!

How are you not embarrassed by yourself?

Jesus Christ.

I'm longing to linger till dawn

Come on. You're fine. You're fine.

Right here. You got a step. Right here.

Up. Up. Up.

Craving your kiss

Shut up!

I got her. I got her. I got her. She's fine. She's fine.

Whoo!

Yeah.

So long...

I'm so sorry.

Stars linger, but I linger on, dear

Still calling your name

Longing to linger till dawn, dear

Just saying this

I owe you breakfast.

Don't worry about it.

Tomorrow morning. Eight o'clock.

I hope you like cereal.

I love it.

I had a really nice time with you tonight.

I could smell her on me for days.

Denial is a coping mechanism.

It's you trying to protect yourself from the truth

about something that's happening in your life.

Something you can't handle.

Something too heavy.

Hey. How are you feeling?

Fuckin' excellent.

Oh. Mom, I'd like you to meet Finn.

Can I have a word with you for a moment?

Who's that boy?

He carried you home last night.

How do you know him?

School.

He's in Corinna's class.

Did he spend the night?

No.

You know, the least you could do is thank him.

Tell him thank you and tell him to be on his way.

I'm getting a migraine.

It's just a hangover, Mom.

I need peace and quiet.

Tell him to go home.

And get to school.

Hey. Sorry about that.

She has a really bad headache.

I can go home. I don't want to make things worse for you.

She's just not herself right now.

When she drinks too much, she just gets a little moody.

Her brain doesn't produce enough dopamine.

You know, the happy stuff.

So it's ...

It's really not her fault.

Dropped in on a burnout bag

Rich glamour on another pack

Actress with a killer pill, bad boys...

Here's something to look forward to.

We're putting them up today. Tickets go on sale tomorrow.

They're $4.50 each,

but, of course, all my friends get in for free.

All proceeds are going to my dad's food bank

to benefit the undernourished Middle Americans.

You know, the kids living off condensed milk and Hot Pockets.

It's a real crisis.

What?

I can't explain this to you right now.

The point is this town needs us.

This dance is going to save lives.

I need your mom to do my hair. Please ask her. Today.

What's wrong?

Eliza has to pay full price.

Shut up, Sasha.

I'm not going.

Fine with me, but ask yourself ...

Are you a good person if you don't help the needy?

Oh, my God! You don't know when to shut up!

I'm just being a humanitarian.

No. You're just trying to sell tickets

so your dad will be proud of you instead of regretting

the day your mom dumped him with you

so she could live her second life in Florida

without such a pain in the ass.

Your mom didn't want you.

And does your dad even like you?

What the fuck, Corinna? You can't just say that.

I just did.

That was really mean.

I know.

Want to ditch and watch a movie at my house?

I gotta go to class.

It's too hot.

Bye.

Look at me.

What's your problem?

Don't act like you don't know.

How long are you gonna punish me for?

I didn't want you guys to leave.

I would have fought to keep us all together.

What my dad did has nothing to do with me.

I don't want to talk about this.

Fine. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

My dad owns this store.

Okay?

He doesn't like people loitering.

Grandma really was a batty old woman.

How is Louise doing?

She's not okay.

Well, you should talk to Dale. He'll listen to you.

I'm never speaking to him again.

He raised you. Did you forget?

God. You are unbelievable.

If our parents hadn't gotten married,

who knows where you'd be right now.

Do you expect me to kiss his ass?

"Thank you so much for taking pity on my poor mom and I.

We wouldn't have survived without your generosity."

What the hell is wrong with you?

I hate you!

What's going on?

Eliza, why are you fighting?

She's beyond help.

Corinna was the one who told Dale

you were stealing his pills.

Ohh. Oh, sweetheart.

I just want you to come home.

You know what? Yeah. Let's all live together again.

So you guys can yell and slam doors.

And she can break things, and he can stay out all night

'cause he doesn't know how to deal with anything!

- Eliza, come here. - Let go of me!

I hate this family!

It's okay.

Is that my book?

She took my book...

and acts like I'm not even here.

Come here.

Good girl.

Mmm.

You're fuckin' hot, Eliza.

And you're mine.

Hey.

What's all the filming for?

I guess you could say I'm making a documentary.

About life and death.

Most people are afraid of it,

but I find something comforting about dead things.

Whether it's animals or insects or people.

- That's... - Weird?

Poetic.

I'll show you a secret.

Is everything okay with your mom?

No. Not really.

What's wrong?

I had a fight with my sister.

I mean, stepsister.

Actually don't even know what we are anymore.

Why?

Corinna's always on Dale's side.

And my mom is getting worse.

I need Dale to take us back.

Does Dale ever hurt you?

No. He just wants her to stop drinking and stuff.

Got it.

Nobody comes here. It's abandoned.

Let me show you inside.

I like how the Earth looks like a fishbowl.

What kind of fish would you be?

A dead fish.

Play along.

A very dead fish.

When you were little, did you ever think the moon

was made out of cheese?

No. Did you?

Yeah. I did.

I thought I would go there someday in my space car.

The engine would run entirely on broccoli,

my least-favorite vegetable.

I figured that was a good way of getting rid of it.

I'd rather get on a Greyhound.

Sometimes I feel a thousand years old.

I have another adventure for you.

What do you want to do when you finish school?

I don't know.

Never thought much about it.

What about you?

I'm expelled from school, Eliza.

You know what I mean.

I know.

I definitely want to leave this town.

Where do you want to go?

Anywhere away from my family.

Look. lt's heaven.

Hold this.

After you.

Thank you.

I like how you walk.

You like how I walk.

- Yeah. - Why?

You walk with purpose.

You walk too fast.

- Hm? - You walk too fast.

No.

It's cool, right?

Must have got struck by lightning at some point.

Sit.

I didn't mean to hurt that teacher.

Do you believe me?

Yeah.

Why?

I feel safe with you.

When I was a little kid, my dad used to tell me this story.

He said, "Finn...

there once was a huge apple sitting out in a field.

One day, a big old fat ant came marching around,

and it noticed the apple.

And it took a bite.

And it was delicious.

And then it called all its brothers and sisters

to come and take a bite, too, and they did.

Each and every little bite.

And eventually,

every last bit of that sweet apple disappeared.

And all that was left...

was a little seed.

But then something magical happened.

That seed started to grow.

With oxygen and time and water,

it blossomed into a big apple tree."

And he said, "That, my son, is the circle of life."

I think I'd like your dad.

Close your eyes.

Listen.

What am I listening to?

The sound of the dead.

With her, everything is silent.

And nothing hurts.

Eliza?

Why aren't you in school?

It's Presidents' Day.

Of course.

Hm. Any fun plans with your friends?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

We're all meeting by the river in a bit.

Gorgeous day.

Eliza, we need to talk about the other day.

I don't want to.

What you said to your sister, it's really not okay.

We'll talk about it another day.

I just hope you girls still love me

like you did when you were little.

Is that literally all you care about?

How do you still love Corinna after she betrayed you?

I'm sure that's how you feel.

But, sweetheart...

if there's anyone who betrayed me, it's you.

If you hadn't been such a needy child,

I wouldn't have lost Dale's baby and we'd still be a family.

There's not one inch of you

that wants us to be a family again.

This?

It's you.

You naughty little butterfly!

I caught one!

I caught one!

Should we put it in the jar and show Mom?

Yeah.

Let's go. Come on.

- I caught one! - Oh, wow! Eliza!

You really have a butterfly in there?

I do!

Her hands are too close.

Oh, no.

It's dead.

I felt its wings moving.

- Maybe it's just taking a nap. - I felt its wings moving.

I'll help you catch another one. It was an accident.

She killed it!

What has happened to this school?

Feels like a ghost town all of a sudden.

I'm starving.

Have you seen Eliza?

She's fine.

You don't know that.

I mean...

I think she has a lot of pressure on her

to take care of her mom.

I mean, I feel like it's getting to her.

Like, bad.

Did you paint that on the wall?

Is that how much you love me?

How's that milkshake?

Where are your parents?

Uh, they're dead.

Are you being serious?

How'd they die?

Uh, their hearts stopped beating.

I miss 'em.

What do you think happens when we die?

I think we just die.

I don't think anything special happens.

Clay. He's dripping water all over the floor.

Floors could use some cleanin'.

How was your day?

My day?

Yeah.

Dug a rabbit out of a hole.

Well, you ... you dug a rabbit out of a hole?

Yeah.

How is that even possible?

I feel like you're making that up.

Is that true?

Yeah.

What happened to your chin?

I cut it.

Oh, that's right. Sorry. I forgot.

What's for dessert?

Pie.

What kind of pie?

Lemon.

- Lamb pie? - Lemon!

Oh. Alright. I thought you said "lamb" pie.

That'd be weird. We're not British.

Bless her heart, but I do think Patty

could have taken another inch off.

Don't you think?

I agree.

She's visiting family this weekend,

so it'll have to wait till Monday.

She'll get it done.

And I think your hair is really pretty.

The boy's got taste.

Actually, can I get a little taste?

Come here.

Oh, that tastes good.

It's shallow out here.

Hold on. I'm coming.

What would I do without you?

When I was a kid, my dad said

there were catfish in the river the size of cars.

Stop!

I don't like being filmed!

Don't do that again.

I can feel it coming on.

The darkness and light that co-exist together.

And they play hide-and-seek in me.

Eliza hates me.

Sweetheart, she could never hate you.

I don't think you should have made them leave.

I know it's hard.

And I'm sorry Eliza is taking this out on you.

But you'll see this was the best thing to do.

That's bullshit.

It'll be good for her to be in that house.

It'll ground her, you know, help her acclimate.

You put her in your dead mother's house.

You're wrong about her.

She is not strong enough to change.

She's not.

Hey. Can we sit with you?

Hey, you. Since when do you drink black coffee?

A long time.

- Hey. - Two breakfast plates, please.

- Want something? - No.

Breakfast plates coming right up.

The dance is tonight. I got you a ticket.

That was a waste of $4.50.

Come on, Eliza. Have some fun.

A dance sounds like a good time.

- How are you doing? - It would kill my mom

if she knew I was here with you guys without her.

Well, why don't we all do something together then?

Dad?

I suppose.

It's been a good amount of time since we tried that.

Let's give it a shot.

Tonight, Dad. Before the dance.

That way, if you change your mind, we can go together.

Does that sound good, Eliza?

I'll ask my mom.

Let's say five o'clock at our house. How's that?

I'll pick up something.

- Great. - "Great."

What's that gonna be?

It's supposed to be a shark.

Was your mom pissed about school?

No. She has no idea.

What do you wanna do?

Whatever you want.

I guess we should go inside.

Can I have that?

Thanks.

You're lucky you got expelled.

What's wrong?

I like you.

I like you, too.

A lot.

Mom?

Where have you been?

We have dinner plans.

My head hurts.

Dale's invited us for dinner.

He called you?

No. I saw Dale and Corinna at the diner.

Why ... Why didn't he call me?

How should I know?

- What time? - Five.

Oh, my God. Well...

Why so early?

Because the school dance is tonight

and they want to have dinner before.

I have to take a shower. I have nothing to wear.

Grief is living two lives at once.

One where everything's alright...

and the other you're drowning.

The memories haunt your soul and disturb your sleep.

Just one more day.

One more hug.

One more.

How are you?

Dale invited us to dinner.

My mom's having a nervous breakdown over it.

Be my date?

Is that what you're gonna wear?

Is that what you're gonna wear?

Finn's coming, too.

Eliza, do you think that's wise?

- He's coming, Mom. - Do you know how long

I've waited for your father to come to his senses about this?!

It's just dinner!

So pretty.

Well, I'm really happy that we're all here together.

It's been a long time coming.

Proper family dinner.

And we're happy to have you here, as well, Finn.

- Welcome. - Thank you, sir.

Do you drink wine, Finn?

If it's alright with you, sir.

Corinna? Eliza?

Just a bit for the toast.

To persistence.

We're a family, and we will always be a family.

And I'd like to add that I am very happy

to be here with both my children and with my husband.

Cheers to that.

- May I serve you? - Yes, please.

Uh, just not quite so much.

Thank you.

Eliza?

Thank you.

So, Finn, how did you meet Eliza?

- It's a very small town. - At school.

You two going to the dance together?

- No. - I want you to.

Eliza, go with Corinna.

I can't stand her moping around the house all day.

He has a right to know.

Your behavior lately has been atrocious.

We have cannoli for dessert.

Ask him, Mom. Ask him if this dinner

means anything to him besides feeling a little less guilty.

This is a step in the right direction.

To ease us back in.

I think you're embarrassed of us.

You know you're torturing her, right?

This little sick, twisted fantasy of yours?

She hasn't seen a doctor in months, and she's drinking.

Look at her!

Shut your mouth!

We don't live here anymore.

Stop looking at her.

Why don't you two go upstairs for a little bit?

I'm not into you, by the way.

What are you thinking?! You were drinking today!

You drink and drink...

I have tried everything I know what to do!

I can't even think anymore of what to do!

Even going to the doctor.

You know how much money I have spent on this!

And you won't even give it a shot!

I want you to move back!

But you don't even try!

I made something for you.

Thanks.

Loss can consume you.

But it teaches you the worth of things.

I'd love to see the ocean.

Ocean's a long way off.

Good.

Eliza...

This bus runs the town loop.

I know.

We'll be back where we started in 20 minutes.

You alright?

Don't touch me.

I love you.

Just leave me alone.

But I love you.

I just need some space.

Unbelievable.

Are you mad?

You're a big boy now.

You're old enough to dry yourself off

and not go dripping

all over Grandma and Grandpa's nice house.

They're dead.

They're up there in heaven, shaking their heads at you.

Alright, buddy.

Time for your pill.

Can I take it tomorrow?

It makes me feel melty.

Clay, I swear, if he gets kicked out,

you're gonna be teaching him yourself.

Your mother's right.

Sometimes you got to do things you don't want to do.

It's important to keep your mother happy.

Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do.

No date?

I don't have a date.

I don't do "date."

I do dates.

Like, why would I hold myself down to one guy, you know?

I'm free-range.

Okay.

So we're going to practice.

For the dance, you need to keep this much distance apart.

Perfect. A little more back.

Alright. Let's practice. Five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

You're too close! Back up! Now you're too far.

There you go. Keep it there.

Let's try again. Ready? You got it!

Five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

What are you doing?

Your dancing is fucking terrible!

Fix it! You can't be an embarrassment to me!

What are you thinking?

Eliza, what is happening?

I know what's best for you.

Corinna called.

She really wants you to go to that dance.

I don't want to go.

You should wear my little green dress.

With a perfect strappy shoe.

Mom.

Dale loves you.

This is why you don't mess with me

See, I'm technically best there ever be

Yes, I'm blessed indeed, so don't test me please

I am Hercules, I unleash the beast

I ain't dressed to please, I am dressed for me

Way they step to me, it's like chess to me

See, these nobodies try and kill the queen

You got best of three, then it's time for me

This is why you don't mess with me

See, I'm technically best there ever be

Yes, I'm blessed indeed, so don't test me please

I am Hercules, I unleash the beast

I ain't dressed to please, I am dressed for me

Way they step to me, it's like chess to me

See, these nobodies try and kill the queen

You got best of three, then it's time for me

Eliza! You came! I didn't think you'd be here!

Eliza?

Louise.

Finn.

Eliza's not here, honey.

I love you!

Even when you're being a pain in the ass.

Which is always.

Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink.

Shit.

Have you seen my date? He's missing.

What is she doing?

Doesn't she know it's trashy to slow-dance?

I think it's adorable!

I think I'm gonna yack.

Let's dance. Come on.

Fuck no. Let's go.

She's with her friends.

I don't trust you.

You're smart.

Finn.

I love you.

I really, really love you.

And it terrifies me.

I know.

You don't know anything.

I haven't told you what I've done.

Come here.

I've hurt people.

And I meant to.

I don't know why, but I get so fucking heated.

I don't know what it is, but I can't calm myself down.

There were these little incidents when I was a kid,

and my parents would just pop pills in my mouth.

And that didn't fucking help because it just felt like

I was underwater all the time.

And I fucking hated it.

And I couldn't fucking feel!

I couldn't feel anything at all!

I never felt like, ever, at any point,

they really wanted me around,

but I couldn't fucking help being born.

So I wanted to give them a taste of their own medicine.

So I crushed up the pills.

I crushed up too many.

The last thing that I heard my mom say

when she went to bed that night

and I snuck by the door to lock it was...

"Clay. Did you see how helpful Finn was tonight?"

Does that make me a monster?

No, it doesn't.

It was an accident.

It's not your fault.

I love you.

I am... who I am.

I wanted to stay as close to the edge as I could.

On the edge, you see all the things

you can't see from the inside.

There's beauty in everything.

In life and in death.

Mom, something weird happened.

So, I made this for you.

Understand I had to do this.

There's so much I could say to you.

But it's just all too much.

I do wish I could go back in time.

Undo this mess I made.

I know you're upset.

I have a good heart.

I just ... I don't know how to reason.

I traded your mom's life for yours.

I wanted to protect you.

I hope you know that.

But love isn't about being nice.

It's about doing the right thing.

I'm going where everything is silent

and nothing hurts.

Your life will be so much better without me.

I love you.

I love you so much.

I love you.