Original subtitles

The

The

The biggest sandbox in the universe is full of epic tales.

Millions and billions of them.

Well guess what?

This one is all mine.

My name is Steve and as a child I yearn for the mines.

But it didn't really work out.

Go on! Get out of here!

So I did a terrible thing.

Go on, shoot!

I grew up.

Yep, that's me.

Same shirt, same pants.

The only thing missing was my soul.

What was I doing with my life?

I wasn't meant to sell doorknobs.

And then one day I remembered something.

Yeah!

That's right!

The mines!

So I geared up to dig deeper and find out what I'd been missing.

And this time I was unstoppable.

I was so happy.

I was so happy.

I was so happy.

I was so happy.

My moment had finally come.

I could just taste the adventure.

So I mined my brains out until I found two mysterious artifacts.

This thingy.

And when I put those two things together, you guessed it.

It opened a portal to another world.

The overworld!

Huh.

This place blew my mind.

I've never seen anything like it.

Whoa!

Turns out it was the place I'd been looking for my whole life.

A world where anything you can imagine, you can create.

This is my first house.

My second house?

And my third house made entirely of sheep's wool.

Pick house!

Life was good.

Except at night, which happens about every 20 minutes.

It was times like these I wished I had a friend.

And then I heard it.

The howl of companionship.

Actually, it was a wolf that wanted to eat me.

So I was so happy.

I wanted to eat me.

So I tamed him with a crusty femur bone.

Yeah.

What?

Ah, boy.

Dennis, you like a scratchy scratch on her knees.

Dennis and I were inseparable.

We did everything together.

Woo-hoo!

We built endless masterpieces.

The more I built, the better I got.

Dennis, check it out!

Welcome to Steve's!

Oh, boy!

Yeah!

Steve!

Lucky for me, Candice loved a party.

And cows!

Life was perfect.

And the years simply flew by.

Oh.

Until one day I came across some strange ruins.

And it conveniently placed chest.

Ha-ha!

Flint and Steer.

Whoa!

Woo-hoo!

Dennis!

I don't know.

Dennis!

Turns out we've just opened a portal to a totally new dimension.

The Nether.

There was no joy or creativity at all.

Just a mindless lust for gold.

Dennis!

These piglin broods had mined this realm into oblivion.

Led by Mount Goshah, the evil piglin sorceress who ruled the place.

Who are you and why are you so round?

Leave the dark!

Take me instead.

Now, thanks, I'll take both of you and that orb.

Let's get one thing straight.

Where I come from?

We call this a cube.

Susan!

Mount Goshah had finally got what she'd always wanted.

The orb of dominance.

The most powerful cube shaped orb in the entire universe.

Listen up, yoke pegs!

With this orb I will pillage the overworld and all that's gone will be ours!

I couldn't let this happen.

The overworld had saved me and now I had to try to save it.

We have to stop her, Dennis.

So we escaped and stole back the orb.

The realm then got away.

Find him and bring me that orb!

Hey, Dennis, take this to Earth.

Follow my scent to 149 Holly O'Drive.

You got that boy?

Good boy.

You're the last hope for this world.

Run! Go boy!

Don't be up, nugget!

You got this, Dennis, I love you!

Run!

Don't be doing it.

Dennis was a hero that day.

He ran like the wind.

I didn't know if I'd ever see him again, but we had a world to save.

So he ran all the way back to my house on Earth and hit the most powerful object in existence.

Under my waterbed.

As long as the orb stays hidden, the overworld will be safe.

Wait a second, putting it under my waterbed is a horrible plan.

led by Charles speculation.

...

...

don't lie now I'll make myT Alliance Shfing

In the late 1980s,

Garrett Garrison took the gaming world by storm,

becoming the undisputed champion of the hit arcade game,

Hunks City Rampage.

His mastery of this two-player co-op shot the world.

Your time has come,

so don't let me live in the world.

His effective use of the garbage toss move earned him the nickname,

the Garbage Man.

Pretty soon he became the envy of the gaming world,

after landing a lucrative deal with Cisler.

Now let's roll in!

Yeah!

Whoo!

Yeah, baby!

Garbage man!

Yeah, baby!

Yeah, baby!

One thing's for sure.

Yeah!

This kid had it all.

Yeah!

Time to take up the crash!

Yeah!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Garrett the Garbage Man Garrison?

No autographs.

Have a nice day.

Oh.

Well done.

Whoo!

What the hell impact?

Yeah!

Superco!

Garrett the Garbage Man.

To what do we owe this pleasure?

Pleasure.

Think I come to storage auctions for fun.

I'm a business man, Daryl, an investor.

Well, I'm about to shuffle some coal into your cheat sheet

trade.

You're going to love this next unit.

It's got a water ban.

It's got some pickaxes.

It's got a huge game mixed nuts.

It's got an array of unisex turquoise blouses.

That sounds terrible.

I think it's also got a 1978 Atari cosmos.

1978 Atari cosmos.

That's what it says here.

Those things are worth the frickin' fortune.

Heck yeah, they are.

Girl, if you make this happen for me,

I will strongly consider hanging out with you.

You serious, bro?

Yep.

Two big buffaloes like us out there in the wild.

We're in unisex turquoise blouses.

Oh boy, that's going to cause a commotion.

The ladies aren't going to know what.

Listen, if you can keep the hammer press under on me,

I'll make all your weird fanboy dreams come true.

OK?

Two loose cannons.

We're in turquoise blouses.

Yeah.

Let's do it.

Yeah, we've got $500.

$500 over here.

We've got $500.

We've got six.

Do we have six?

Do we have $600?

We've got $600 over here.

I'll get me here $700.

We've got $700.

Got $700 here.

Got $800 over here.

We've got $850.

Do we here?

$850.

Do we have $850?

Do we have $800?

Do we have $900?

$900 going once?

$900 going twice and $900 going three times and sold.

The hometown hero, Garrett, the garbage man

garrison for $900.

I wouldn't cash that for about six months.

What?

Yeah.

Home to papa.

Cosmus.

Woo.

There.

Where is it?

I'm sorry.

I didn't check the box.

Woo.

Woo.

Woo.

Oh, no.

It's all right.

That does not mean you can trash this unit.

I'm up against it, man.

I'm...

Oh, no.

My store, my restaurant, what they used to be, I just...

I need a win, man.

I need a win.

When are you going to stop looking for treasure inside a storage unit?

And recognize that the real treasure is inside your heart.

That's all I ever want.

This man has no respect for the storage community.

Well...

I'm gonna see you decide on a boring way.

But all this is, you cry, become my name.

Remember yesterday?

What the hell did you...

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, man.

What the frick?

Oh, no.

Oh, man.

What the frick?

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Look.

Chugless was not my first choice either, but it was Mom's dine wish for us to live here.

All right, at least that's how I interpreted it.

Yeah, I read something online.

This place sucks.

Anyways, rent is super low, and I've got a full-time gig here, so it's not really enough where we're going to turn down right now.

Yeah, I get it.

Look, I think you're really gonna like it here.

Oh, what's going on with that dude?

Ha ha ha!

Ah!

Oh my gosh, Henry, we're in Chugless.

Say hi to Chuggy the Chip.

Oh, yep.

All right, the spending neighborhood.

When was this house built?

Ha ha ha!

It's so nice to meet you!

Yeah, nice to meet you.

You new bosses sent you this.

Oh!

Yeah, people love working at the potato chip factory.

Yeah, well, I'm running their socials for a little bit.

I said I'd get their father account past 75.

Nice!

You must be Henry.

Nice to meet you. I'm done.

All right, why is there an alpaca hanging out of your car?

Well, real estate's not my only hustle.

I also do some mobile zoo stuff on the side.

And who? I gotta run.

Call me if you need anything.

Also, uh, I'm really sorry about your mom.

It's really brave what you're doing.

I hope you know that.

Thank you.

Chill out, man, I'm coming!

Yeah, I'm leaving.

Ah!

Henry!

Breakfast is ready.

I'm coming.

Check it out.

I'm coming.

I'm going.

Henry!

Check it out.

I made you mom's signature tater tot breakfast pizza.

So you can hand out slices on your first day.

I thought you wanted me to seem normal.

I do.

I'm just trying to help you out.

I got you some body spray.

Signature scents are huge here.

Velvet mischief?

You're gonna want to spray it and then walk into it.

Don't be too direct.

It's really powerful.

Okay.

Love you.

Love you too.

It's...

It smells like banana bread and poo.

Your store's running cool.

Yeah, I know.

Looking for anything in particular?

No, I'm just checking some stuff out.

Noncommittal?

Classic loser mentality.

I can help.

It's starting a mentorship program for people who want to win at the game of life.

Fifty bucks an hour.

Cool.

How do you actually win at life?

That's literally the answer I charge money for.

Tots?

It's with the breakfast pizza.

My sister made it.

I'm supposed to hang out slices at school to make friends.

Well, desperate for day one, don't you think?

I also noticed that you're wearing velvet mischief.

It's a wonderful cologne.

And I strongly believe that every young man should have his own signature scent.

I don't think I applied very much.

Listen, I'm gonna give you a hot garbage tip.

Friendship is like a puzzle.

Sometimes you think you need lots of money.

I'm gonna give you a hot garbage tip.

Friendship is like a puzzle.

Sometimes you think you need lots of pieces to be cool.

And sometimes it's just one piece to be cool.

Then people will be like, that's not a puzzle.

That's a picture.

And they have a right to speak to.

Any questions?

Yeah, quite a few, actually.

Listen, kid, the point is there's no eye in team, but there are two in winning.

Okay, well, I gotta go to school.

We're never nerd.

Just leave the pizza.

All right.

Let's play.

All right.

Let's put this name tag on.

Uh, why does anyone ask a mission for you?

Oh, Henry, we're just so thrilled to have you.

You know, you're the first student to enroll here ever since that article came out about

the school rankings.

Anyway, I'm Vice Principal Marlene, and I'm an open book.

You probably heard that my husband Clemente recently divorced me.

And to be honest, I expected it to hurt more than it does.

You know, the fire went out on our marriage 20 years ago, but we stuck it out for the

dogs.

Okay, let's get you to your first class.

Good morning.

Just a little something about myself.

I teach Jim.

I teach art.

Financially, I'm living in a nightmare.

Okay?

I wouldn't wish my life on my worst enemy.

Last year, I claimed $4,000 on my tax return.

So in the summer, I do clams and oysters down by the airport.

But most of my money is tied up in a drone kiosk at the mall.

Okay, today we're going to do a still life.

One orange, one banana.

Let's get out for our people.

What is this?

Don't you know what a still life is?

It means you just draw the thing.

Do the assignment next time.

That jet pack would never work.

It's kind of foolproof, actually.

It's just math.

My dad said math has been debunked.

Check it out.

I'm not sure.

I love to be rocket scientist, so prove it.

All right.

Count us down, guys.

One, four, three, two, one.

Okay, so I know that we're all very excited about the new rebrand.

But I don't think you should call your party bags salt sacks.

No!

Chaggy!

Come on, we're down!

Oh, no!

I was never here, okay?

Shit.

Well, the good news is nobody died.

I'm sorry, okay?

It was an accident.

This could be grounds for expulsion, Henry.

I need you to call your guardian.

I know the room.

Hey, Mr. Garbage Man, it's Henry, the kid with a tater top breakfast pizza.

Oh, yeah!

I have a weird fever to ask.

Could you come to my school and pretend to be my uncle?

No way, I don't do that stuff anymore.

I had 26 bucks.

Stand back, mama!

Make some noise!

I'm going down, coming through!

Hi, I'm Henry's uncle.

You? The trash bag?

It's actually garbage, man.

Garbage Man, huh?

Oh, you can bag me up and take me to the curb any time.

But you got a bunch of the lid, because I got a lot of raccoons in there.

Whoever divorced used a complete idiot.

Just don't get it.

It should have worked.

I'm not this right.

It probably just cost my sister her job.

Oh, wow.

Now, you're super creative.

Hey, uh, since you're going to juvie,

you might as well get this flyer back.

Pippa don't grow on trees, and they're really loud and can't go with it anymore.

Well, you can have my book, too.

Because I'm done with it.

So, what's this stupid joke?

Who cares?

I'm probably some new-aged bullcrap.

I could let it go for, like, 950.

I wonder what it does.

Hey.

It's attractions.

Never, under any circumstances, can bind the orb and crystal.

Oh.

Wait.

Do not fall, this orb.

Even if you're a struggling business owner,

I need a ton of cash fast, because there's loads of treasure down here.

Dude? Dude?

Dude, I feel like I want to go somewhere.

What?

I'm sorry.

I tried everything I didn't know who else to call.

No, it's okay. What's going on?

Henry's missing. I tried the school.

I tried his phone a million times.

He's not answering. He was supposed to be home hours ago.

I thought he's still being detention for blowing up a checkered chip.

That was him?

Give me a call.

Oh, my gosh.

I can't believe this. We're here for one day,

and he's already the town villain.

Y'all had him.

He's fine. He's just planning an abandoned building.

I'm not going to go to the town.

Y'all had him.

He's fine. He's just planning an abandoned mineshaft.

What?

Come on. I'll drive.

You can see Mr. Scribblest of care if you want to keep that pretty face to yours.

Hop in.

Okay.

You go first. I'll come here six.

Yeah, yeah. I got you.

Danger. Whatever.

Henry!

Oh, gosh.

What are you doing down here?

Who's this guy?

He's my new mentor.

Who? Me?

Oh.

Hey, guys. Guys.

It's pulling me, guys.

Henry!

Henry! The gold nothing!

Henry!

Henry!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Me and my mama.

My mama.

No!

No.

No.

No.

No.

Oh.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, we're not 9 to 0 anymore. I think this is Wyoming.

Wait, who are you again?

Captain garbage man Garrison, gamer of the year 1989.

Whatever. I better think about it.

What's your hook?

If that's what I think of this, it would be the first call I skipper.

I'm a terrible...

Hold on! I'm gonna put the fuck in!

Hey! You're here!

I'm back in the rock! What's in the movie?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Listen up, you swine!

If you can't find more gold, I'll just send you to the other world to zombify!

You!

What are you making?

Come closer! It's alright?

Come on, I'm not gonna bite ya.

Aww, how pretty!

But how will that help me find more gold?

Oops!

What?

Well, looky what we have here.

Now, time has come!

Oh!

Round nine!

Not as sure!

Was I unclear when I said no one was to waste time on art or leisure?

Oh, the orb has returned.

It can't be...

Dennis?

You stole it from me, and now you will retrieve it!

It would be a privilege, my liege.

They're going to unbind you now.

Don't do anything stupid.

Of course not!

You can trust this little dungeon, but let me just sneak it back!

Oh!

Go ahead, strike me down.

My pit lens will make a meal of your beautiful wolf.

How do I know you're telling the truth?

There's only one way to find out.

The orb for your little dog's life.

Oh, uh, wise quest giver, we humbly seek gold.

Give us a quest that will lead us to your treasure load.

Garbage, man.

I work in the animal field, and I am telling you that thing doesn't understand a word you're saying.

Shh!

We're talking.

Sorry about that.

What were you saying?

Hey, come on, Henry. We're going home.

That felt quick to anyone else?

Yeah!

Alright, everyone.

Stay calm.

Laha.

Free garbage tip.

Fear is just weakness.

High-jacking your body's cockpit.

What in the hell?

If that happens, you can say biocone DS to your body planes.

What?

Garbage, man, isn't speaking English or Espignol.

What am I doing here?

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Yay!

I'm sorry, Dad, you're feeling the gamer of the year.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Henry!

Whoa.

Oh, no! We got a zombie problem!

We need to go right now!

Hey! Come on! It's not a good time to stop!

Hurry up!

Ah!

How's he doing?

I don't know, but it might work.

That's way! That's terrible!

Don't let me go!

Don't! Don't! Don't! Don't! Don't! Don't!

You can't do it!

You can't go!

Wait, wait! That's a perfect one!

Aww!

Oh

Oh

Oh boy, oh your move

Oh

Who are you I am Steve

Who are you people? Where's Dennis? Dennis who's we don't know any Dennis. Then how'd you get that? Hey?

Well I'm Machacho. This is my property. Do you even know what that is? It's the orb of dominance. It's a cube. Okay. Ha ha

You people seriously have no idea what you're dealing with. Hand it over and no one gets hurt. No way. Okay, we need this thing to get home

I hate to take a big fat dump a roof on your plans, but you can't get home. Whoa, what do you mean?

We can't get home not without the earth crystal. You mean that little boxy thing?

Busted it. Uh-uh. Listen, Henry, why don't you hold this you got those good

Frodo vibes kid. Are you implying that we're stuck here? Yes, unless you get the earth crystal

It's your only way home

There's only one way you could ever replace it at the woodland mansion, but going there would get you all killed. So it's staying here

Fair enough

Listen, I can get you home, but then you got to give me that orb. So what are you gonna do with it? None of you concerned

So what do you say? Do we have a deal? He did just kill like 20 zombies. Well, I 15, but okay

All right, Steve

Under two conditions one always address me because I'm the leader two if you double cross us

I will crack your cabaisa with my butt cheeks like a walnut

This guy is such a tool bag. I'm so sorry. We just met this man, and he's not the leader. Hmm

Well, it looks like dr. Swalenstein here just got himself a deal

My gosh, all right

First we need to load up on some gear. We're all gonna die. Let's go to midport box

This guy's lost his mind

Oh

No, not again. Oh, I am so sorry. Oh my god. Are you all right? Oh my god? Oh my god. Are you all right?

Your head is huge

You're not gonna sue me are you?

Because everyone wants to sue me once I hit them with my Jeep Grand Cherokee

Oh my how about this? What if I just take you to dinner?

Would you like to go to dinner?

Here it is midport village I got a secret stash of elite loot that'll help us survive the woodland mansion

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, these guys? Oh these dudes?

They're the villagers the total pacifists and vegetarians. You don't bug them. They won't bug you

They just like to chill trade and eat buttloads of bread. They love crushing a loaf

So they built all this yeah, most of it, but the good stuff you see that's all Steve

Whoa see some kind of king no

That's a legend kid anything you can dream about here you can make

Zero limits you know what I'm talking about that was your tower right yeah pretty killer for a first-built

Relax it's just an iron golem local security force

But there are a bunch of big softies

Unless you start messing with the villagers don't ever do that this place makes no sense

Yo, I need protein like Pronto I got just the place buddy

Hello there

Oh

Dude, I got goose pimples just walking up on it

You ever wonder what happens when you mix hot lava and chicken I did and you're about to find out

You hear that that's the sound of sizzling

Mm-hmm smell that smell

Tasty as hell

Small business to the one thing I try to do is not have my jingle suck butt

Oh

That's the bird Jackie and our little wimp like big Steve here I crave heat and I crave pain

Darren wait

Hear my words that chicken was just cooked in hot lava let it cool down man

Not bad

Garbage man, you're a big-time idiot

What is it what?

Hey

Hey, Melgosha what's going on your old dungeon buddy Steve has betrayed us well that's a bummer

The orb is with four roundlings my spice tell me he has taken them to his lava chicken check no way

I love that place the la la la la la

Chachachachachachachachachachachachachachach

Take your finest warriors bring me that orb and curl the roundlings

So like you want me to end his life or whatever are you serious?

What do you think I'm talking about?

Okay, I was just kind of confused there for a second

Take us neither. What so you don't zombify your majesty. I don't think this is gonna be enough to go around

Deal with it. No worries

All right, dream cup guys, you don't want to zombify up there, but just tiny sips, okay

Okay, so how do we find this woodland mansion thing over the mountains into the dark forest right beyond the massive red shrooms

Massive red shrooms. Mm-hmm big old red ones

We need to find a real map Steve this place is dangerous and I need to get my brother out of here

Well, it seems like he's having a pretty good time

Look your brother has a gift. You know that right you should let him explore it

Creativity in this world is key to survival. Okay. Well in the real world things are a little bit different

Creative kids get picked last for Jim. They sit at the bummer lunch table and they get bullied

Don't I know it. Do you even realize what he did back home? He blew up chuggy the chip. Maybe I belong in this rock

I had me that's not what I meant. It's not what I was saying at all

Just so you know

I'm more of a sister to Hank than he'll ever be

Okay

You okay

Look I found one of these big-headed looking dudes that sells maps looks legit come on

Welcome to the stash

T&T firework rockets also good for propulsion

Boops of swiftness diamond armor full set and blades for days

Everything will need to make it to woodland mansion

Wow

Focus lab, bro

Look but don't touch those are some of my favorite treasures

What's this junk that is an ender pearl teleport you to wherever you throw it

Yeah, right

And that was the only one I had no biggie almost died fighting an enderman for it come with me

This

This is a crafting table is how it works you place these elements in different patterns and

You got yourself a sweet blade

You want to see a blade I'll show you a blade

Yeah

Good

Loose ah

That's okay, bud Buck cuts are useful here. Yeah, they're cool Garrett. They're like nunchucks. Yeah, I know it's why I made them

the

Buckchuckets

They're what?

Hey, can I try something else abso rootin tutely

But you had thoughts the whole time. Yeah, sorry

The top launcher dude you just took boring junk from the real world to create something amazing that is next level

Hank can't play with your dog. What are you done? Yeah?

Sweet. Hey Steve. I talked to you for a second sure thing

What's up, you know that note you left with the orb what about the riches I

Read it. Yeah

There's riches everywhere. Keep a fat stash of diamonds at the red stone mines

So this treasure load is on the way to this mansion place not really it's a major D tour plus the mines can be perilous

We keep it simple for you Steve

No diamonds no warp

He's smelling them stepping in

Good day

We need a map to the woodland mansion

We should need a map

Matt don something's going down

Oh

All right guys just start trashing their produce villagers hate that

Oh

Who are these guys hecklings they must be after the orb

Hey Steve

What's going on dude?

Strongest I'm really sorry, but I have to unalive you and stuff

Now go shit double cross me

We just need that or thingy. You know this guy. Yeah, we used to get into some dungeon stuff

He seems nice, but he's a killer Wow you look good bro hammer. You lose some weight stand back boys

this pink is mine no

I'm tired of you getting all the glory this pink is mine

We have to get to Henry's I think we can take these guys

Nice moves bro

The party's over bad just give me the arm

Thanks big guy

Happened I saved your butt. That's what happened you think me later. We got to get to the rampart follow me

That we have to go now don't I can't even these my entire family means you are live

Okay, well me and back at the women mansion

Oh

Great now what you like your wingsuits

Absolutely

Oh

Boyness yes, let me see you later

I thought I grabbed three wait for me

Oh

Just relax let my hips guide you it's the only way

Hey, we'll have a better chance if we split up what

I

Got you buddy

I

I

Oh

I

I

Want to

You can really fight

Oh

Now that's the worst bone I've ever seen I'm sorry I have no idea what I'm doing forget it

No, thank you

You know I got to tell you I'm having a great time I

I recently got divorced from my husband Clemente and

And the main reason is you know he didn't have any personality, you know

Not like you

You

Got some talking with you buddy Hank and I want some answers like how we're gonna stop those pigs

And why's my beard smell like gorgon's Ola and who's that evil sorceress you were talking about look?

The sorceress is a pickling queen called nalgosha those are her minions

She rules over them in a dark hellscape called the nether and I always keep a chunk of gorgon's all in my front pocket, okay

Listen

Galgosha's path to darkness started the way these things often do during the semi-finals of the nethers got talent

Young Malgosha always dreamed of being a world-class dancer

Her moves were pretty out there. No one in the nether was ready for it

Oh

Crushed her

What did I tell you about all that dancing? It's time for you to grow up

I'm tired of you chasing your dreams now take this X and do fight some goals

There was such embarrassing dancing so from that day forward she denounced all forms of creativity

If she ever gets that orb she'll block out the Sun

Netherward will flourish this beautiful world and everything in it will wither and die and you were gonna give it to her

Great idea. I'm not gonna give it to her, but I need that orb for leverage

safe Dennis

come

The woodland mansion is just beyond the redstone mountains we can go over or through

Whatever's fastest

Through will be faster

General Chungus you have failed me for the last time. Yeah, I'm really sorry about that

Bring out the base

What what do you mean you just have to put the brain in well?

He's a big deal get it done look everybody knows it wasn't my best day, but I'm really trying to set some new goals

The bright hog my ultimate weapon

Can hand wait does this mean you're firing me?

Well done now find the roundlings and bring me the old

We are so lost

My one job was to protect Henry and I blew it

My mom had never let anything happen to him. I guess I'm just not cut out for this parenting stuff

Wish I could have been a kid for a little bit longer, you know

It's not that feeling like I could have done anything. I hear you being a grown-up sucks

You got all these responsibilities and you just stop chasing your dreams

You think I like having 15 hustles

I think this one just needs some TLC

Yeah, you like bones. Oh, I bet you like bones. Yes, you don't get

You

Aren't you a beautiful one? Yes, you are. I

Cannot believe you just did that

Dennis

Steve's Dennis

Can you take us to him?

Oh

That I think this might be our way to the Woodland mansion

Son of a biscuit we found it

Looky looky here welcome to the redstone lines

You see that glowy stuff that's redstone conducts energy

You can build some crazy contraptions with it

I thought you said this was a diamond line easy big dog there here

But be careful I set some booby traps a long time ago. I can't follow life on me remember where they are

Sorry

Here it is

Yes

My diamonds. Oh, that's what I'm talking about Steve delivers the goodies. Did you guys plan this?

I'm sorry, Henry. Oh

Yeah, I'm not

Yeah, what the heck man over lacks not only could be in dimension already she could be in danger. Oh

No, do you smell that?

Never what

The great honk she finally put the brain in

Oh

Memory serves I built a kick-ass safe room just up ahead

Dang it I torch blew out. Why are we stopping because we ran out of redstone. We're gonna need a boost fast

What's that sound loud car car we're totally safe

Oh

Oh

Oh

Nice work guard guard your little D2 are almost got us killed. I'm a lie. It's a dramatic

It's still alive. There's a problem, man. We didn't need those stupid diamonds

I swear you were literally the most selfish person I've ever met whatever I need them

Okay, I need the diamonds because I need the money because I'm broke

You wouldn't know anything about that

My life sucks kid, all right. I'm a frickin loser

There I said I know it looks like I got all put together right smart funny by lingual

I'll humbly to own all full-time

That's not the reality

I'm not doing well

I'm washed up hang and I'm gonna lose everything

And that's not the worst part

I'm alone

You were no one

was your friend

Oh

Sorry about your finances

Shut up Steve

Wow, I feel like you get me and you're an incredible listener and only people with emotional intelligence are good listeners

You know, I just didn't think it was in the cards that I would have another first date ever, you know, I

I

Want to have the guts to invite you over to my house for dessert

Are you finished? No, I think he's Swedish, but we're done with our meal

There it is the woodland mansion we're gonna get in there get the earth crystal and get you guys home follow me

Check this out

Let's do this pay close attention to Papa Steve the woodland mansion has three floors

The first floor is loaded with vindicators

Axmer to us basically why is it third floor on the first floor?

I'm very confused. I was trying to make three floors, but I didn't have time to make like a dollhouse the second floor

Crawl's with Evokas. They wield powerful dark magic. This is the worst model. I've ever seen here

Stop talking. We're trying to figure out a plan. You're how long you mean mad at me for?

I just got mad at you. Please don't be mad at me for this. Okay, but I accidentally stole the orm what you're crafting

We cool Elle you are literally the worst person in the entire world guys both of you eyes on my denim space

Third floor houses the loop chamber

That's where the earth crystal is but it's guarded by enderman whatever you do do not look them in the eye

Don't fry your brains out. Okay. Well, I could build stairs to the second floor sneaking through the window and snag the earth crystal

It's a great idea, but to pull it off. We're gonna need a pretty sweet diversion

You know what can work on these guys?

Sounds crazy hit me

Friendship is the wish you make when you're blowing out the candles on your birthday time

Don't be a bully and don't be a boot time to put on your birthday suit go ahead go while we blow

Oh

Oh

You gotta be kidding me

This

Reach down deep

You're that's Douglas kit not love you. What's going on Steve? It's some kind of sadistic vindicator fight club

I've heard of these, but I've never seen one. They want me to fight the chicken

It's a fight to the death kid

I

Chicken

He's

What?

A 50 hour train was destroyed...

It was fun.

No, don't do that.

I'll come.

Don't do that.

Take itlaughter.

We need to work for you.

It is.

What?

Wait a minute.

Finally!!

No, I haven't prohibition on that, 100% prism.

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

I'm sorry little buddy!

Don't fall for it, Garkar!

That baby's got the heart of a demon!

No, you're not a demon, are you?

You're a cute little bugger face.

I'm just gonna...

Pay your little head.

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Oh!

Trash the kid.

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

Ahh!

I'm coming!

Hey, I...

Ahh!

Ahh!

Speak it up!

Ahh!

Ah!

Ahh!

Ahh!

That's Val!!!

You saved my life.

That's what friends do, Garrett.

Ah!

Ah!

Hey, did you get the Earth crystal?

Yeah, I got it.

Let's get out of this hell hole.

Ah!

Ah!

Come on!

Come on!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

I knew I'd find you, Dummies, here.

No.

It's her!

Of course it's me, you fool.

I've been tracking your scent from two biomes away.

Check it out.

I even built me a new hog.

Ah!

Now, Gosh, ah!

Your rain is over!

You're wrong.

It's just beginning.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

No!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Kill them!

We have work to do.

Goodbye, Steve!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

They're going to blow this bridge sky high!

Sorry to hang.

What?

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Yeah!

Slap cube!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Come on, Garrett, drop!

I can't see him! Get him out of here!

Go, heck! Save your sister and get home!

Garrett, you don't have to do that!

Tell my story and song!

Keep it metal, keep it heavy. Real instruments.

Besides...

I love the wilds.

I...stinky!

Go, Suss! Open!

We're going down!

Race for his party!

Dennis?

Dennis!

Dennis!

Oh, it's you!

That's really you!

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

How'd you find me?

He's one heck of a wolf!

He let us write to you guys!

Now, I understand why you kept yourself so filthy and smelly

so Dennis could find you one day.

Is he okay?

He's fine.

He's just resting.

Good.

It's a pretty rough crash landing.

Wait a minute, where are we?

No!

Oh, oh, oh!

I wish garbage man was here to see this.

He would have loved your mushroom hutch.

Yeah, I think so too.

Oh?

Hey.

I was so afraid that I lost you.

I'm so afraid that I lost you, Jim.

I am really sorry about what I said.

And I'm really sorry about Garrett.

I'm only going to say this once.

This thingy goes on top of it.

Thingy.

Got it, Travis.

It's going to make a real cool laser beam that'll die.

Never mind.

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

The Great Jarkening!

It's begun.

Now, go to this gathering, all her forces.

She will destroy this land.

Unless we go get that orb.

Well, what are we doing here?

Let's go fight some pigs!

I'm ready.

I'm done with those pigs.

Yeah, me too.

Let's do it for Gaga.

First we mine, then we craft.

Let's mine craft!

One, two, three!

That's the orb!

What are you saying?

Minecraft.

We should all say that on three.

One, forget there's no time!

Show us what you got, Henry.

Okay.

I got a plan.

Killer recipes.

We're going to have to move fast.

Let's get to work.

First, we're going to need some iron ingots.

Oh, yeah.

And the boots of swiftness.

Time to light this place up.

Come on, boy.

Having nice flight!

Diamond!

Diamond!

Diamond, you too.

I want to get you.

We're also going to need a ton of diamonds.

Diamond!

Diamond!

Show me what you got, Matt.

Whoa!

Yeah!

You want some money?

We're ready.

Let's go save the overworld.

All right, my piggies.

Today, we take the overworld as ours.

Attack their villages.

Burn their homes and their symmetrical farts.

All they have created, we destroy!

But what are you standing around for?

Get out of here.

Go on, bring me the gold!

Hurry, Henry!

Hurry, Henry!

Ha!

Newsflash!

Iron golems will not attack unless provoked!

Ha!

Ha!

Newsflash!

Iron golems will not attack unless provoked!

Ha!

Ha!

Ha!

Ah!

Real smooth travers!

You're ready?

Let's do this.

Agh!

Ow!

Agh!

Oh!

Are you ready?

Let's do this.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, for goodness' sake, what are you doing, your big block of meat?

Get down here and take care of those roundlets!

How do you like import jobs?

Come on!

Oh, kick-o-sh.

Let's dance.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, kick-o-sh. Let's dance.

Bring it along.

Ahh!

In the top!

Ahh!

Oh!

Oh, my time, under!

Take it back!

Friends!

What is this?

Breakfast?

Get off us, baby!

Harry, yours up there!

Oh, my God!

Harry, go!

Do it, Henry! I got this!

Go, Henry! Go!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Hey, Captain, butt-crack!

I got something for you!

Get him, Dennis.

Oh, oh, oh!

Whoo!

Take a bite out of that pit!

Dennis, this is happening!

Henry!

Henry!

Henry!

Henry!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

I got you, kid!

Yes!

Yes!

You're alive!

Yeah!

Between us, I use Steve's water bucket trick.

Pretty cool, huh?

A little bit.

Let's get this arm and go home.

Yeah!

All right, Hank, it's fireball time.

Grab that spear.

Grab it, the tentacles!

Whoo!

Grab it!

How'd you learn how to do that?

Don't ask!

Yeah!

No!

What have you done?

Theo!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Good to see you, garbage man!

What?

You failed witch!

You failed, witch.

The overworld lives on.

You too have fallen for the great lie.

You'll never be happy.

Deep down, you know.

To hope, to dream, to create, is to suffer.

You're right.

It is harder to create than to destroy.

That's why cowards tend to choose the deuce.

Ahh.

Later, ghost.

Every minute knowing you has been a horror show waste of time.

Wait, one more thing.

Come close there.

Do you have a little knife that you're going to try to stab me with?

No, I know I'm too weak.

All right.

Stop!

Come on!

Who is worth a shot?

Wait, wait.

Let me say one more thing.

Come close there.

No way!

No, really, it's about you.

Fine.

Lane down here.

You really are the worst.

Goodbye.

This is it, really.

Come back.

I don't even have a noise.

Say what I keep at.

Stay here, Ted.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Sure you want to go back, Henry?

It won't feel like this.

There you got constraints, judgments, obstacles.

Yeah, I know.

But I'm going to go make stuff anywhere.

I like that.

Hey, you're a brave kid.

Steve, you still cool with this?

Uh...

Yeah.

Come here, boy.

Yeah.

Of course I still love you.

That's why I think this is a good idea.

You changed my life.

It's time for you to go change hers, too.

Uh...

Go now, Dennis.

Change Don's life, Dennis.

Go on a journey and think of me.

Dennis.

Go now, legendary wolf of my dreams.

My doge doge doge.

My Dennis.

I'll...

If I would have known you could sing like that,

it would help me get past your smile.

Garrett, you are a truly bodacious warrior.

You're a really good friend.

I wish you'd come home with us.

I think it's cool, but I don't have any friends my age.

You would make a great team for Oconteus.

Minsky by, brother.

No, it doesn't.

Don't look at her.

It does.

No, it does not.

Yeah, it does.

Are you sure you don't want to come back?

Yeah, I'm staying here.

I got a bunch more stuff I want to build.

Why don't you bring some of that magic to the real world?

Screw it. I'm coming with you.

Turns out, if you're brave enough,

you can make the real world your overworld.

Garrett finally leveled up, and his score became not spot.

Together, we all joined forces to create the new hit game.

Block City Battle Buddies.

Yeah, we're still in the beta phase, working out a few bugs.

But let me tell you, life is pretty perfect.

John finally got to ditch her real estate job.

She and Dennis brought the party wherever they went.

Natalie decided to share her new skill set with the real world.

Survival mode, self-depressed,

and I'm not sure if you're going to get it.

I'm not sure if you're going to get it.

I'm not sure if you're going to get it.

I'm not sure if you're going to get it.

Survival mode, self-defense.

The streets are chugless, have never been safer.

You get them, Natalie.

And Henry? He finally got that jet pack to work.

I feel the fire.

Let the moon go beyond the light.

I feel the fire.

Let the rest go beyond the light.

I feel the fire.

With the power of the world that's dying.

I feel the fire.

Fire!

I know how much you love bread.

Marlene, your ex-husband's here. He said it was an emergency.

You tell him I've got nothing to say to him.

You've got to be kidding me, Marlene. This is the guy.

Too late, Clemente. You had your chance.

She's right, Clemente. You totally blew it.

And now I reap the rewards of your mistake.

You see, when Marlene's Jeep Grand Cherokee ran me over,

I was struck by a love so powerful,

it transcended the barriers of conventional speech.

I speak human and she speaks villager.

No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no.

Marlene, ever since we met last night, I wanted to say,

would you marry me?

Yes. Yes. A thousand times, yes.

Let me introduce you to your regrets.

You're not messing with me. You won't forget.

I can't see.

Hi, sorry to bug. I used to live here. I'm Steve.

Oh, is this about that chest in the attic?

Oh, yeah, I'm so glad that's still around.

Hey, you want to come in?

I'm Alex, by the way.

Alex, great to meet you.