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♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
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00:00:10,542 --> 00:00:11,875
♪ Hercules ♪
3
00:00:11,959 --> 00:00:14,333
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
4
00:00:14,417 --> 00:00:16,250
♪ Hercules ♪
5
00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:17,333
♪ Is he bold? ♪
6
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:18,333
♪ No one braver ♪
7
00:00:18,417 --> 00:00:19,667
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
8
00:00:19,750 --> 00:00:21,750
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
9
00:00:21,834 --> 00:00:23,834
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
10
00:00:23,917 --> 00:00:25,667
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
11
00:00:25,750 --> 00:00:26,667
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
12
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:29,083
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
13
00:00:29,166 --> 00:00:31,875
♪ Hercules ♪
14
00:00:31,959 --> 00:00:33,542
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
15
00:00:33,625 --> 00:00:35,083
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
16
00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:36,542
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
17
00:00:36,625 --> 00:00:37,709
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
18
00:00:37,792 --> 00:00:39,125
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
19
00:00:39,208 --> 00:00:40,625
♪ No complainin' ♪
20
00:00:40,709 --> 00:00:41,709
♪ He was a no one ♪
21
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,500
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
22
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:44,709
♪ He's our hero ♪
23
00:00:44,792 --> 00:00:48,250
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
24
00:00:48,333 --> 00:00:49,333
♪ From zero to hero ♪
25
00:00:50,208 --> 00:00:51,667
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
26
00:00:52,625 --> 00:00:57,417
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
27
00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:59,208
Wait and see!
28
00:01:06,417 --> 00:01:09,333
Let us consider the
special role of the hero.
29
00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:14,000
Heroes occupy a unique
place in this world and beyond.
30
00:01:14,083 --> 00:01:18,083
Their private corner of the
underworld is the Elysian Fields.
31
00:01:18,166 --> 00:01:20,959
In the pastoral splendor
of the Elysian Fields,
32
00:01:21,041 --> 00:01:24,458
heroes enjoy the endless
golden hours of eternity...
33
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:25,667
Hold it!
34
00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:29,458
Sounds like you're talking
about some boring cruise ship.
35
00:01:29,542 --> 00:01:31,250
Honey, the Elysian Fields
36
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:33,458
is the place heroes go to party!
37
00:01:33,542 --> 00:01:34,959
Do you mind?
38
00:01:35,125 --> 00:01:38,500
I'm trying to make this a
distinguished presentation.
39
00:01:38,583 --> 00:01:40,417
Honey, go on sit your
distinguished butt down.
40
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,083
We'll show you how to sell it.
41
00:01:45,125 --> 00:01:48,875
♪ Because you've earned
A hero's reputation ♪
42
00:01:48,959 --> 00:01:53,000
♪ You deserve an
extra long vacation ♪
43
00:01:53,083 --> 00:01:57,375
♪ The best eternal
rest and relaxation ♪
44
00:01:57,792 --> 00:02:03,500
♪ Elysian Fields ♪
45
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,125
I can see it.
46
00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:08,959
I can smell it.
47
00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:11,166
But I can't touch it!
48
00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,542
The ritziest country
club in the universe
49
00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:16,834
is just a brimstone's
throw away...
50
00:02:16,917 --> 00:02:19,041
and it's restricted.
51
00:02:19,125 --> 00:02:22,917
Yeah! Too bad Zeus set it
up so you can never go in!
52
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,500
Uh, did I say "too bad"?
53
00:02:25,583 --> 00:02:28,792
Oh, I-I meant it's
a crying shame.
54
00:02:28,875 --> 00:02:31,250
An affront to the very cosmos?
55
00:02:32,458 --> 00:02:34,792
Mind the store, boys.
I'm going upstairs.
56
00:02:34,875 --> 00:02:35,875
Ooh.
57
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,667
Ah, I love the night life!
58
00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:43,333
People from near and far
joining together in a public forum
59
00:02:43,417 --> 00:02:48,166
with one common goal...
To ignore us completely.
60
00:02:49,083 --> 00:02:50,417
Oh, look.
61
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:51,375
It's Helen...
62
00:02:51,417 --> 00:02:54,041
The face most likely to
launch an international conflict.
63
00:02:54,125 --> 00:02:55,458
Hi, kids!
64
00:02:58,792 --> 00:03:00,101
Hi, Helen.
65
00:03:00,125 --> 00:03:03,041
Like she really heard you.
66
00:03:03,125 --> 00:03:07,166
Ah, to bask in your
prickly cynicism, my sweet.
67
00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:10,375
It gladdens my
heart to sit with you.
68
00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:12,375
Not with me... near me.
69
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,500
Ha ha ha ha ha!
70
00:03:14,583 --> 00:03:15,583
Whoo!
71
00:03:15,625 --> 00:03:17,125
I'm not kidding.
72
00:03:17,208 --> 00:03:18,542
Helen, my dear.
73
00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:22,458
Forsake these commoners
and come ride with the royal me.
74
00:03:22,542 --> 00:03:24,583
Oh, you're sweet, Adonis,
75
00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:26,625
but I gave my
attendants the night off.
76
00:03:26,709 --> 00:03:28,333
How would I get my chariot home?
77
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:29,834
Me! I'll do it!
78
00:03:29,917 --> 00:03:31,166
I'll drive you home.
79
00:03:31,250 --> 00:03:33,834
You see? Throw
some nobody a bone.
80
00:03:33,917 --> 00:03:36,417
Oh, Daddy would
just have kittens
81
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:38,917
if I entrusted my
chariot to anyone
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00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,000
without a spotless
driving record.
83
00:03:43,959 --> 00:03:46,458
Oh, Hercules! Natch!
84
00:03:46,542 --> 00:03:49,959
And the forecast
for tonight is perky.
85
00:03:50,083 --> 00:03:51,834
Oh, you're a dear.
86
00:03:51,917 --> 00:03:53,166
Drive safely.
87
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:55,166
I can't. Uh, the...
88
00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:57,500
The truth is, I don't
have a driver's license.
89
00:03:58,792 --> 00:04:00,875
That is a stunning admission,
90
00:04:00,959 --> 00:04:03,041
even for a loser
such as yourself.
91
00:04:03,125 --> 00:04:06,750
Well, I'm sure you have
many other nice qualities.
92
00:04:06,834 --> 00:04:07,834
Oh, come on.
93
00:04:07,875 --> 00:04:10,166
I can't be the only one
here without a license.
94
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:11,709
Can I?
95
00:04:14,458 --> 00:04:16,834
But I... I've got
a flying horse.
96
00:04:16,917 --> 00:04:18,250
Am I supposed to be impressed?
97
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:20,834
Because I'm not...
in the slightest.
98
00:04:20,917 --> 00:04:24,309
I, uh, I'm planning to get
my license... tomorrow.
99
00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:25,208
Since when?
100
00:04:25,291 --> 00:04:26,709
Since now.
101
00:04:26,792 --> 00:04:28,000
Ohh.
102
00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:29,417
Oh, really?
103
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:32,792
I believe the temple of moving
vehicles closes at sunset.
104
00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:35,667
So you'll have a license
by that time tomorrow?
105
00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:36,750
Definitely.
106
00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:38,166
Then bring it here.
107
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:39,083
Oh, I will.
108
00:04:39,166 --> 00:04:41,500
See you at sunset.
109
00:04:41,583 --> 00:04:42,625
Oh, you will.
110
00:04:42,709 --> 00:04:43,750
Hoo!
111
00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:48,333
My man Herc, right here.
112
00:04:48,417 --> 00:04:51,083
Mr. Confident.
113
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,250
You don't know
how to drive, do you?
114
00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:55,125
Not even a clue.
115
00:04:57,542 --> 00:04:59,542
Hey, Zeus!
116
00:04:59,625 --> 00:05:01,041
Hey, how are ya, huh?
117
00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:02,375
It's been too long.
118
00:05:02,458 --> 00:05:04,041
You don't call, you don't write.
119
00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:05,750
- Hey.
- Hades.
120
00:05:05,834 --> 00:05:09,000
G'day, mate. How are
things "down under"?
121
00:05:09,083 --> 00:05:12,208
Ha! "Down under!" get it?
122
00:05:13,125 --> 00:05:15,208
Lightning wit, as usual. Great.
123
00:05:15,291 --> 00:05:18,375
Sit down. Give
your flame a rest.
124
00:05:18,458 --> 00:05:20,542
Nectar? Ambrosia?
125
00:05:20,625 --> 00:05:21,625
Gives me gas.
126
00:05:21,667 --> 00:05:22,935
OK, let me cut
right to the chase.
127
00:05:22,959 --> 00:05:24,166
You know the Elysian Fields?
128
00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:26,125
I got a little development
brewing there, OK?
129
00:05:26,208 --> 00:05:28,583
Kind of a, uh, time share.
130
00:05:29,375 --> 00:05:31,542
Actually, I wouldn't
share. It would be all mine.
131
00:05:31,625 --> 00:05:33,208
But you understand
the concept. OK.
132
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,333
And I know you're a busy
god, so I was wondering,
133
00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:37,250
you just might want
to transfer title to me.
134
00:05:37,917 --> 00:05:39,643
Just a little autograph, and
then, boom, I'm outta your hair.
135
00:05:39,667 --> 00:05:40,500
Whaddya say?
136
00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:43,250
But it's supposed to be
the blissful refuge of heroes.
137
00:05:43,333 --> 00:05:45,250
Yeah, the happiest
place under earth. I know.
138
00:05:45,333 --> 00:05:48,125
There goes Apollo.
Right on schedule.
139
00:05:48,208 --> 00:05:50,458
Ou can set your
watch by that guy.
140
00:05:50,542 --> 00:05:52,208
Yeah, people do, actually.
141
00:05:52,291 --> 00:05:53,208
Oh.
142
00:05:53,291 --> 00:05:57,083
It's time for the morning
Hercules report, your mightiness.
143
00:05:57,166 --> 00:05:58,286
Take a number, twinkle toes.
144
00:05:58,333 --> 00:06:00,000
I'm doing a little
negotiating here.
145
00:06:00,083 --> 00:06:01,917
Chill out, Hades.
146
00:06:02,834 --> 00:06:04,583
Ha! Look at that!
147
00:06:04,667 --> 00:06:06,417
I should make a wish!
148
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,834
How about a death wish?
149
00:06:12,583 --> 00:06:15,375
One day to learn
to drive? Sheesh!
150
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:18,083
OK, kid, let's start
with the basics.
151
00:06:18,166 --> 00:06:21,333
You gotta evaluate
the situation,
152
00:06:21,417 --> 00:06:24,375
and always look both ways!
153
00:06:24,458 --> 00:06:26,375
Whoo-hoo!
154
00:06:26,458 --> 00:06:27,458
Waah!
155
00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:35,000
Kid! Kid! You're
losing points for this!
156
00:06:35,709 --> 00:06:38,667
OK, this is a good time
to talk about passing.
157
00:06:39,750 --> 00:06:40,917
All right, listen up.
158
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,000
The key is to be
confident, but relaxed.
159
00:06:45,875 --> 00:06:46,875
Whoa!
160
00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:51,041
- Oof! Aah!
- Ooh!
161
00:06:54,208 --> 00:06:55,291
Kid, watch out!
162
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:58,041
Yaaaah!
163
00:07:01,542 --> 00:07:02,917
Yah! Get outta the way!
164
00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:10,709
Maybe you should
stick to the flying horse.
165
00:07:12,583 --> 00:07:15,417
So, now, he's only
got until sunset
166
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,709
to pass his driver's test.
167
00:07:17,792 --> 00:07:20,041
Isn't that just too wacky?
168
00:07:20,125 --> 00:07:21,375
I'll go out on a limb here
169
00:07:21,458 --> 00:07:25,083
and just kind of predict that
my dear nephew blows it... badly.
170
00:07:25,166 --> 00:07:27,667
For your information, Hades,
171
00:07:27,750 --> 00:07:31,166
what Hercules sets
out to do, he does.
172
00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:34,333
Oh, flawlessly, I'm
sure, but, you know, still.
173
00:07:34,417 --> 00:07:35,834
You know, I'm thinking,
174
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,834
maybe you'd care
to make a little wager.
175
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:41,000
You mean bet on my son
176
00:07:41,083 --> 00:07:44,166
to complete a nearly
impossible task?
177
00:07:44,250 --> 00:07:46,291
In a heartbeat.
178
00:07:46,375 --> 00:07:49,375
Hey-hey! Fabulous! I'll
take some of that action.
179
00:07:49,458 --> 00:07:52,000
You know, we'll need
some stakes, though,
180
00:07:52,083 --> 00:07:53,959
just to, you know,
make it interesting.
181
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:57,667
Hmm, let's see. Ooh,
you know, here's an idea.
182
00:07:57,750 --> 00:08:00,166
If junior doesn't get
that license by sunset,
183
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,792
uh, you give me Elysian
Fields. What do you say?
184
00:08:02,875 --> 00:08:04,458
That's outrageous!
185
00:08:04,542 --> 00:08:06,000
Ooh, deal me out.
186
00:08:06,083 --> 00:08:07,792
Fine, fine. Say no more.
187
00:08:08,041 --> 00:08:10,375
You don't have that kind of
confidence in the little tyke.
188
00:08:10,458 --> 00:08:11,500
I understand.
189
00:08:11,583 --> 00:08:13,083
After all, he's only
human... mostly.
190
00:08:13,166 --> 00:08:14,709
You're on!
191
00:08:14,792 --> 00:08:16,792
Oh, and Zeus, ha ha,
192
00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:19,792
You know, anybody
could do this with your help.
193
00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:24,875
Why, Hades, I would
never dream of interfering.
194
00:08:24,959 --> 00:08:25,750
Uh-huh.
195
00:08:25,834 --> 00:08:28,917
OK, good. Oh, and Hermes,
you stick there, too, OK?
196
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,750
OK, gents. Catch you later.
197
00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:34,250
If you need me,
hey, I'll be packing.
198
00:08:34,333 --> 00:08:35,458
Ha!
199
00:08:36,041 --> 00:08:36,875
- What?
- What?
200
00:08:36,959 --> 00:08:38,417
Whatever it takes,
201
00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:42,375
You make sure that kid
flunks that driving test.
202
00:08:42,458 --> 00:08:43,500
Capisce?
203
00:08:44,083 --> 00:08:45,166
Pardon our ignorance...
204
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:46,583
Your vengefulness...
205
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,917
But didn't Zeus
swear to stay out of it?
206
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,583
He did, actually. I didn't.
207
00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:52,667
Get it?
208
00:08:52,709 --> 00:08:56,333
Oh, when he's
bad... He's very bad.
209
00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:03,917
Next stop... the road to ruin!
210
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,792
The detour of doom!
211
00:09:05,875 --> 00:09:08,959
The, um... jinx of the "Spinx."
212
00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:10,750
It's Sphinx, and
we're doing alliteration,
213
00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:11,917
not rhymes!
214
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,750
Get to work, jerk.
215
00:09:13,834 --> 00:09:16,667
You guys are the greatest to
come along and help me cram.
216
00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:18,542
Oh, it's our pleasure.
217
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:21,458
OK, you're traveling on the
road from Athens to Sparta.
218
00:09:21,542 --> 00:09:25,166
How many horse lengths must you
remain behind the chariot in front of you?
219
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:26,250
Sorry, folks!
220
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,333
Road closed for repairs.
221
00:09:28,417 --> 00:09:30,417
Your tax drachmas at work.
222
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,700
But we've got to get to the
temple of moving vehicles...
223
00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:33,583
Fast!
224
00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:35,750
That side road will
get you there in a jiffy.
225
00:09:35,834 --> 00:09:37,041
And the views are lovely.
226
00:09:37,125 --> 00:09:38,166
Thanks.
227
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:40,041
Happy trails!
228
00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:42,500
Hercules.
229
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:45,291
Say hi to the "Spinx" for us.
230
00:09:48,250 --> 00:09:51,000
Hmm. What does that sign mean?
231
00:09:51,917 --> 00:09:55,792
Herc, Mister I-Memorized
the-Entire-T.M.V.-Manual,
232
00:09:55,875 --> 00:09:56,875
lay it on me, baby.
233
00:09:56,959 --> 00:10:00,250
It's a creature with the wings
of a bird and the body of a lion!
234
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,792
Buddy, you are ready!
235
00:10:01,875 --> 00:10:03,875
It's coming right at us!
236
00:10:08,917 --> 00:10:10,250
Please, we mean you no harm.
237
00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:12,583
We're just passing through.
238
00:10:12,667 --> 00:10:15,166
Not anymore.
239
00:10:15,250 --> 00:10:19,083
You're here... to have fun!
240
00:10:20,458 --> 00:10:23,417
Welcome to the
Riddle of the Sphinx!
241
00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:27,375
And now, here's your
host, Sphinx Martindale!
242
00:10:28,583 --> 00:10:29,917
Ha ha ha. Thank you, bony.
243
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,625
The rules of our game
couldn't be any simpler.
244
00:10:32,709 --> 00:10:34,875
I ask just one question.
245
00:10:34,959 --> 00:10:38,041
Right answer wins you
freedom and fabulous prizes.
246
00:10:38,166 --> 00:10:41,792
Wrong answer and
you lose... your lives!
247
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:45,000
Ahhh!
248
00:10:57,291 --> 00:10:58,959
Hey, welcome back, everybody!
249
00:10:59,041 --> 00:11:02,041
Let's take a minute
to meet today's player.
250
00:11:02,125 --> 00:11:04,000
Hi there. What's your name?
251
00:11:04,083 --> 00:11:05,291
Uh... Hercules?
252
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:06,208
Well, Hercules,
253
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,792
I'd introduce some
former contestants, but...
254
00:11:08,875 --> 00:11:10,625
I've eaten them all!
255
00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:15,083
But enough chitchat. Here we go.
256
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,417
And the killer question is,
257
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:21,041
what is it that a man does
standing up, a lady does sitting down,
258
00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:23,500
and a dog does on three legs?
259
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:26,333
Uh... Can I have a goodbye hug?
260
00:11:26,417 --> 00:11:27,417
Grow up.
261
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:30,792
All right... Man
does it standing up,
262
00:11:30,875 --> 00:11:33,208
woman sitting down,
dog on three legs.
263
00:11:33,291 --> 00:11:34,625
Your answer, please.
264
00:11:34,709 --> 00:11:36,000
A goodbye handshake?
265
00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:40,000
Shake hands.
266
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,166
Oh, I'm sorry!
267
00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:42,709
But for being such a good sport,
268
00:11:42,792 --> 00:11:45,291
You get instant death
and the Sphinx home ga...
269
00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:48,667
What did you say?
270
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:49,750
Shake hands.
271
00:11:50,333 --> 00:11:51,166
That's right.
272
00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:53,542
Nobody's ever
gotten it right before.
273
00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:56,417
OK, Bony, tell
him what he's won.
274
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:57,583
Glad to, Sphinx.
275
00:11:57,667 --> 00:11:59,917
Hercules, you'll
be leaving in style
276
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,500
in a brand-new chariot!
277
00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:05,792
How convenient.
278
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,250
Aah.
279
00:12:10,542 --> 00:12:13,417
♪ There's no place like home ♪
280
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,166
Big house, no fireplace, heh?
281
00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:16,685
Enough's enough. Do
you know what I'm saying?
282
00:12:16,709 --> 00:12:18,125
It's a wrap, boss.
283
00:12:18,208 --> 00:12:21,291
Nobody's ever beaten
Sphinx Martindale.
284
00:12:22,291 --> 00:12:24,375
Yeah, Herc's as good as dead!
285
00:12:24,458 --> 00:12:26,458
Just a little bungalow for moi?
286
00:12:26,542 --> 00:12:28,250
Herc's as good as dead,
287
00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:30,083
so let me just ask
you a question.
288
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,125
If Hercules were dead...
289
00:12:32,208 --> 00:12:34,083
don't you think I'd
be the first to know?
290
00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:39,041
Um... You mean because
you're the, uh, lord of the dead?
291
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,125
Duh.
292
00:12:40,166 --> 00:12:42,542
Maybe we'll just
go... double-check.
293
00:12:42,625 --> 00:12:44,166
Ah!
294
00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:45,917
Look out!
295
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,792
Ho, mama!
296
00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:53,667
We're all gonna die!
297
00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:54,750
Whoa, I say!
298
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:00,834
Uh-oh. Busted.
299
00:13:03,208 --> 00:13:05,542
A speed trap.
300
00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:07,458
I should have
foreseen it coming.
301
00:13:07,542 --> 00:13:10,000
Just let me do the talking.
302
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,750
Teenagers out joyriding.
303
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:15,792
I've seen it a million times.
304
00:13:15,875 --> 00:13:17,291
Tough luck, kids.
305
00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:18,542
Driver's licenses.
306
00:13:24,834 --> 00:13:26,709
I don't have one.
307
00:13:26,792 --> 00:13:28,875
Actually, we're on
our way to get it now!
308
00:13:28,959 --> 00:13:30,625
Not anymore.
309
00:13:30,709 --> 00:13:34,500
Driving is a privilege, not
a right, my young friends,
310
00:13:34,583 --> 00:13:36,291
And you just lost it.
311
00:13:36,375 --> 00:13:38,750
I'll have triple alpha
send out a tow wagon.
312
00:13:38,834 --> 00:13:39,917
Have a nice day.
313
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,041
Thanks. You, too!
314
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,291
Where's Herc?
315
00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:48,291
Did he get his license yet?
316
00:13:48,375 --> 00:13:50,792
And a gracious hello
to you, too, Hermes.
317
00:13:50,875 --> 00:13:51,875
No time, Philicimo.
318
00:13:51,959 --> 00:13:53,542
Uh, why aren't you with the kid?
319
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:54,875
He's gotta learn.
320
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,667
Never promise something
you can't deliver.
321
00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:58,750
That's rookie
mistake number one.
322
00:13:58,834 --> 00:13:59,750
Ohh.
323
00:13:59,834 --> 00:14:02,333
Uh, ixnay, babe.
324
00:14:02,417 --> 00:14:04,083
So, they taunted
him, they teased him.
325
00:14:04,166 --> 00:14:06,083
Only a sucker falls for that.
326
00:14:06,166 --> 00:14:08,792
Open mouth, insert hoof.
327
00:14:08,875 --> 00:14:11,458
I mean, I'm doing the
best I can with the kid.
328
00:14:11,542 --> 00:14:14,458
But somebody should
have taught him the basics...
329
00:14:14,542 --> 00:14:17,500
Somebody like... Ahem!
330
00:14:19,375 --> 00:14:20,500
His father.
331
00:14:20,583 --> 00:14:23,583
The big guy bet Hades that Herc
would come through by sunset.
332
00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:26,333
Winner gets control
over the Elysian Fields.
333
00:14:26,417 --> 00:14:30,583
And my boy is a
winner... Right, coach?
334
00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:32,875
One hundred
percent! Tell you what.
335
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,709
Why don't I just go find the kid
336
00:14:34,792 --> 00:14:36,458
and assist him in his efforts...
337
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,709
Your Majesty?
338
00:14:47,709 --> 00:14:49,792
Oh, no!
339
00:14:49,875 --> 00:14:51,458
This line will take forever!
340
00:14:54,792 --> 00:14:57,166
I say we speed things up.
341
00:14:57,250 --> 00:14:59,000
So the kid can fail... Right?
342
00:15:05,875 --> 00:15:08,834
Uh, excuse me, Mister
Last-in-Line. Hello!
343
00:15:09,917 --> 00:15:10,750
Me?
344
00:15:10,834 --> 00:15:13,542
Yes, you. Come on down!
345
00:15:13,625 --> 00:15:15,458
I know this stuff. I can do it.
346
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,500
Um, uh, if you're, like,
you know, driving along
347
00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:21,750
and there's, uh,
348
00:15:21,834 --> 00:15:24,000
a little baby lying in the road,
349
00:15:24,083 --> 00:15:26,375
uh, what should you do?
350
00:15:28,333 --> 00:15:30,333
Coffee break, guys. Take 10.
351
00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:32,208
You mean coffee's
free in this place?
352
00:15:32,291 --> 00:15:35,208
I think there's some
baklava left, too.
353
00:15:36,959 --> 00:15:39,542
What a cushy job!
354
00:15:39,667 --> 00:15:41,458
A break already and
we only just started.
355
00:15:41,542 --> 00:15:42,375
I know.
356
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,959
We didn't even finish
giving Herc's test to...
357
00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:47,875
Hercules, pass.
358
00:15:47,959 --> 00:15:48,834
Ohh.
359
00:15:48,917 --> 00:15:50,750
Proceed outside
where you'll be met
360
00:15:50,875 --> 00:15:52,333
by your road-test examiner...
361
00:15:52,417 --> 00:15:54,917
City state trooper Chipacles.
362
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,625
Heh.
363
00:16:05,083 --> 00:16:07,083
The rules of the road
can save your life.
364
00:16:07,208 --> 00:16:10,000
Know them, embrace
them. Now, stand up straight.
365
00:16:10,125 --> 00:16:12,750
Hands on the reins
at 10:00 and 2:00.
366
00:16:12,834 --> 00:16:16,500
Before pulling out into
traffic, you will do what?
367
00:16:16,583 --> 00:16:18,625
Uh, I-look around to
make sure it's safe?
368
00:16:18,709 --> 00:16:19,709
Do it!
369
00:16:27,208 --> 00:16:30,750
Aha! There's the
little student driver.
370
00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:34,709
We gotta stop him before Hades finds out
how close he came to getting that license!
371
00:16:34,792 --> 00:16:36,875
Hello.
372
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:42,500
Hades!
373
00:16:42,583 --> 00:16:44,500
We were just...
talking about you!
374
00:16:44,583 --> 00:16:47,166
And, uh, how much we
missed your bold leadership
375
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:48,917
and inspiration...
376
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,458
I'm not wrong here, am I?
377
00:16:50,583 --> 00:16:52,500
But I finally get
a chance to beat
378
00:16:52,583 --> 00:16:53,917
Mr. Every-Which-Way-But-Zeus,
379
00:16:54,041 --> 00:16:59,625
And you can't even do
this one, flaming thing!
380
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:01,542
Ha.
381
00:17:01,667 --> 00:17:02,667
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
382
00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:03,834
- Ohh.
- Ohh.
383
00:17:03,959 --> 00:17:05,750
My fault.
384
00:17:05,875 --> 00:17:08,750
Never send a man
to do a god's job.
385
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,041
Whoa!
386
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,208
And I thought the
written test was tough!
387
00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:18,083
Whoa.
388
00:17:18,208 --> 00:17:19,208
Signal. Signal!
389
00:17:19,291 --> 00:17:20,500
Ten and Two. Ten and Two.
390
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:22,267
Check your blind spot.
Check your blind spot.
391
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:24,000
Come to a complete
stop before making...
392
00:17:25,041 --> 00:17:26,750
Good afternoon, racing fans.
393
00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:28,750
The sky is clear,
the track is fast,
394
00:17:28,834 --> 00:17:31,208
and the flame-injected,
hero-burning funny car
395
00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:32,573
is coming in on the final turn!
396
00:17:36,041 --> 00:17:39,583
Now... watch me take
the checkered flag.
397
00:17:46,542 --> 00:17:48,792
Whoa! What have I done?
398
00:17:48,875 --> 00:17:50,041
Whoa! Wow.
399
00:17:50,125 --> 00:17:52,375
Uh-oh.
400
00:17:59,291 --> 00:18:02,250
The kid is totaled.
401
00:18:02,709 --> 00:18:07,250
Hades gets the victory
and... the Elysian Fields.
402
00:18:07,333 --> 00:18:09,583
See ya in the
winners' circle, boys.
403
00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:10,667
Ha!
404
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:16,375
Phil's right.
405
00:18:16,667 --> 00:18:18,291
I never should have
opened my mouth.
406
00:18:18,375 --> 00:18:20,458
Now I'll have nothing
to show Adonis.
407
00:18:20,542 --> 00:18:22,333
That's not the worst of it, kid.
408
00:18:22,417 --> 00:18:23,500
Phil! Pegasus!
409
00:18:23,625 --> 00:18:25,625
Am I happy to see you two!
410
00:18:25,709 --> 00:18:26,917
Yeah, yeah. Feeling's mutual.
411
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,000
Listen close.
412
00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:31,083
You have got to get that license
today, and we're losing our light.
413
00:18:33,542 --> 00:18:34,709
Look, Bureaucrates,
414
00:18:34,792 --> 00:18:36,959
a friend has to get
his license today.
415
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:40,375
Teenage pride is at stake,
not to mention cosmic balance.
416
00:18:40,458 --> 00:18:41,667
How about it?
417
00:18:41,750 --> 00:18:43,625
Hmm. Unh-unh.
418
00:18:48,166 --> 00:18:50,333
The sun is about to set...
419
00:18:50,917 --> 00:18:54,375
But I will not allow
this temple to close!
420
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:58,875
I will not be moved!
421
00:19:03,583 --> 00:19:06,625
I have to go to the bathroom.
422
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:10,458
Sir, is there any way
you can bend the rules...
423
00:19:10,542 --> 00:19:11,583
Just this once?
424
00:19:11,709 --> 00:19:13,750
I don't care if you're
the son of Zeus...
425
00:19:13,875 --> 00:19:16,333
As a matter of
fact... rules are rules.
426
00:19:16,417 --> 00:19:20,375
The T.M.V. closes when Apollo
pulls his chariot across the sky
427
00:19:20,458 --> 00:19:23,083
and that life-giving
orb we call the sun
428
00:19:23,166 --> 00:19:25,000
sets for another day,
429
00:19:25,125 --> 00:19:28,458
which is right about now.
430
00:19:30,875 --> 00:19:32,000
Huh.
431
00:19:36,250 --> 00:19:37,750
Hey, don't go away!
432
00:19:41,208 --> 00:19:42,834
Um, Mr. Apollo, my
name is Hercules.
433
00:19:42,959 --> 00:19:44,750
I-I think you know
my father, Zeus.
434
00:19:44,875 --> 00:19:46,635
If I could just take one
moment of your time.
435
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:49,041
Time to go ho... Huh?
436
00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:56,125
Hmm. My watch stopped.
437
00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:58,500
Actually, the sun stopped.
438
00:20:00,291 --> 00:20:04,125
Pegasus, proceed at a speed
safe for current conditions!
439
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,583
Hey, hey. Nice wheels, kid.
440
00:20:12,417 --> 00:20:13,291
A rental?
441
00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:15,250
When Apollo heard
how Hades cheated,
442
00:20:15,583 --> 00:20:17,250
he wanted to give
me a fighting chance.
443
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:19,083
How about another shot, sir?
444
00:20:19,333 --> 00:20:20,625
The sun hasn't set yet.
445
00:20:22,291 --> 00:20:23,125
Why not?
446
00:20:23,208 --> 00:20:25,041
I'm a shoot-from-the-hip
kind of guy.
447
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,667
W-w-w-w-what?
448
00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:31,709
He stopped the sunset?
449
00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:36,917
Right before he
g-g-got his license.
450
00:20:38,917 --> 00:20:40,959
Maybe Zeus will
go double or nothing.
451
00:20:42,917 --> 00:20:45,583
Oh, Hades!
452
00:20:49,667 --> 00:20:51,458
Nice.
453
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:54,875
I'm not the kind of god
to say, "I told you so,"
454
00:20:54,959 --> 00:20:57,667
but... I told you so!
455
00:21:01,792 --> 00:21:04,625
Maybe we should just
redecorate this place.
456
00:21:04,750 --> 00:21:06,458
Huh?
457
00:21:12,417 --> 00:21:14,458
I'm getting a crick in my neck.
458
00:21:14,542 --> 00:21:16,125
Well, I think it's lovely.
459
00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:21,709
Wha...
460
00:21:28,125 --> 00:21:30,625
Ha ha ha!
461
00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:33,041
Anybody need a lift?
462
00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:35,041
Wow!
463
00:21:35,166 --> 00:21:36,875
Maybe some other time.
464
00:21:36,959 --> 00:21:39,458
Gotta run. I promised to
have it back by sunset...
465
00:21:39,542 --> 00:21:42,250
Well, for sunset, if
you know what I mean.
466
00:21:42,333 --> 00:21:43,333
See ya!
467
00:21:50,291 --> 00:21:53,166
♪ Never bet against a hero ♪
468
00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:57,166
♪ 'Cause as sure as
the sun will shine ♪
469
00:21:57,291 --> 00:21:59,166
♪ He'll please the gods ♪
470
00:21:59,250 --> 00:22:01,542
♪ Beat the odds ♪
471
00:22:01,625 --> 00:22:06,625
♪ All in the nick of time ♪
472
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,792
Sphynx baby, it
was a great riddle
32392
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