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♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
3
00:00:11,959 --> 00:00:14,333
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
4
00:00:14,417 --> 00:00:16,250
♪ Hercules ♪
5
00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:17,333
♪ Is he bold? ♪
6
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:18,333
♪ No one braver ♪
7
00:00:18,417 --> 00:00:19,667
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
8
00:00:19,750 --> 00:00:21,750
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
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00:00:21,834 --> 00:00:23,834
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
10
00:00:23,917 --> 00:00:25,667
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
11
00:00:25,750 --> 00:00:26,667
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
12
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:29,083
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
13
00:00:29,166 --> 00:00:31,875
♪ Hercules ♪
14
00:00:31,959 --> 00:00:33,542
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
15
00:00:33,625 --> 00:00:35,083
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
16
00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:36,542
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
17
00:00:36,625 --> 00:00:37,709
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
18
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♪ And the nicest guy ♪
19
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♪ No complainin' ♪
20
00:00:40,709 --> 00:00:41,709
♪ He was a no one ♪
21
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,500
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
22
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:44,709
♪ He's our hero ♪
23
00:00:44,792 --> 00:00:48,250
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
24
00:00:48,333 --> 00:00:49,333
♪ From zero to hero ♪
25
00:00:50,208 --> 00:00:51,667
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
26
00:00:52,625 --> 00:00:57,417
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
27
00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:59,208
Wait and see!
28
00:01:16,125 --> 00:01:19,041
Hestia, what a marvelous
party you've thrown us.
29
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:22,458
The goddess of the hearth
has truly outdone herself.
30
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,333
Shh! Bacchus! The soufflé!
31
00:01:26,417 --> 00:01:28,625
The slightest noise
will make it fall.
32
00:01:28,709 --> 00:01:31,333
Oh, I do wish Zeus
would get home.
33
00:01:31,417 --> 00:01:34,625
He said he was only
going out for a quick smite.
34
00:01:34,709 --> 00:01:39,166
Ha ha! I'll bet he's having
hephaestus craft you a jeweled treasure
35
00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:41,125
for your anniversary.
36
00:01:41,208 --> 00:01:43,750
But act surprised.
Men like that.
37
00:01:43,834 --> 00:01:46,375
Ah. Beautiful
smiting today, Big Z.
38
00:01:46,458 --> 00:01:50,375
You know, you've given new meaning
to the term "lightning round." Ha ha!
39
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:53,458
Whoa! Snazzy shindig!
40
00:01:53,542 --> 00:01:56,333
Say, honey, isn't your
weekly coffee klatch
41
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:57,917
getting a little extravagant?
42
00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,333
Coffee klatch?
43
00:01:59,417 --> 00:02:00,917
Oh.
44
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,667
Ha, ha.
45
00:02:02,750 --> 00:02:05,875
You... do know
what this occasion is?
46
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,083
Occasion?
47
00:02:07,166 --> 00:02:09,917
Ha! Of course I do.
48
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,625
Ehh... is it something special?
49
00:02:12,709 --> 00:02:14,667
The occasion... honey...
50
00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:16,917
is our anniversary.
51
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,750
Ouch.
52
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,959
Ooh-ooh. The
party is heating up.
53
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:23,041
Just the way I like it.
54
00:02:23,125 --> 00:02:25,208
Anniversary! Yes! Ha!
55
00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:26,625
I knew that.
56
00:02:26,709 --> 00:02:28,083
Did you, now.
57
00:02:28,166 --> 00:02:31,083
Well, naturally. As
lord of the universe,
58
00:02:31,166 --> 00:02:33,625
I know everything. Heh heh.
59
00:02:33,709 --> 00:02:37,542
You, Zeuster, have got
that omniscient shtick down.
60
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:40,125
Ha. So, uh, what
did you get her?
61
00:02:40,208 --> 00:02:42,542
Uh... get?
62
00:02:42,625 --> 00:02:45,667
Yeah. Uh,
an-anniversary, uh, gift?
63
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:47,917
Oh. Um, I, uh...
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00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,458
I must've left it at my
other... thing. You know.
65
00:02:51,542 --> 00:02:53,333
In your other... Universe?
66
00:03:00,792 --> 00:03:03,667
Let's blow this joint.
Know what I mean?
67
00:03:08,625 --> 00:03:10,458
No, no, no. Don't leave yet.
68
00:03:10,542 --> 00:03:13,667
No one's even tasted
my Ambrosia soufflé.
69
00:03:13,750 --> 00:03:15,166
It's a good thing.
70
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:16,125
So let me get this straight.
71
00:03:16,208 --> 00:03:18,458
The all-knowing,
all-powerful king of the gods
72
00:03:18,542 --> 00:03:22,125
cannot remember his
own anniversary. Smooth.
73
00:03:22,208 --> 00:03:24,959
I was busy smiting Smyrna!
74
00:03:25,041 --> 00:03:27,583
I did not forget!!
75
00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:28,667
Ohhh...
76
00:03:31,041 --> 00:03:32,875
Hmm. Marital discord.
77
00:03:32,959 --> 00:03:35,000
Always good for a little...
78
00:03:35,083 --> 00:03:36,083
chuckle. Hmm-hmm.
79
00:03:38,959 --> 00:03:41,166
Ohh! What's keepin' Dad?
80
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:43,208
I beseeched him
five minutes ago.
81
00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:45,959
Father! I need to see you!
82
00:03:47,208 --> 00:03:48,792
Yes, yes. What is it?
83
00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:50,792
Uh... well... Happy anniversary.
84
00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:52,917
I-I got this for you and Mom.
85
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,542
Oh. Uh... uh, thank you, son.
86
00:03:55,625 --> 00:03:57,667
That's very thoughtful.
87
00:03:57,750 --> 00:03:59,917
Well! Would you look at that.
88
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:03,542
It's a, uh...
Obviously, it's a...
89
00:04:03,625 --> 00:04:05,291
Large scroll, huh?
90
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:08,375
Not just any scroll.
It's a scrap scroll
91
00:04:08,458 --> 00:04:10,625
with all the special
occasions in your lives...
92
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,458
The day you and Mom met,
93
00:04:12,542 --> 00:04:15,834
your first date, last year's
wedding anniversary.
94
00:04:15,917 --> 00:04:18,208
I made that page really flashy.
95
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:20,291
- Why? So I won't forget it?
- Oh...
96
00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:22,375
Well, no. I-I...
I didn't mean...
97
00:04:22,458 --> 00:04:25,333
Oh, look. And there's
Hera's birthday.
98
00:04:25,417 --> 00:04:27,458
Thought I'd forget
that, too, did ya?
99
00:04:27,542 --> 00:04:28,750
No! I-I was just...
100
00:04:28,834 --> 00:04:31,291
I expected better
from you, young man.
101
00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:34,166
But I'm sure your
mother will love it.
102
00:04:39,041 --> 00:04:41,709
That coulda gone better.
What'd you give him, cash?
103
00:04:41,792 --> 00:04:45,625
No. I don't get it. I
thought he'd be impressed.
104
00:04:45,709 --> 00:04:48,291
Kid, you never know what's
gonna please parents. Heh.
105
00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:51,375
And you've gotta impress the
head honcho of the cosmos.
106
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,458
He said he-he
expected better of me.
107
00:04:53,542 --> 00:04:55,291
What do you think
he meant by that?
108
00:04:55,375 --> 00:04:58,667
Who knows? Maybe you're not
becomin' a hero fast enough for him.
109
00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:01,583
Your folks have been holdin'
that spare room for you a long time.
110
00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:02,834
Tell me about it.
111
00:05:02,917 --> 00:05:05,625
Phil, it's time for me
to do something big,
112
00:05:05,709 --> 00:05:08,291
- something that'll make my parents proud.
- Like what?
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00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,208
Like my first
official hero labor,
114
00:05:10,291 --> 00:05:12,959
one sanctioned by the
Heroes' Union Local 839.
115
00:05:13,083 --> 00:05:14,834
Whoa. You sure
you're ready, kid?
116
00:05:14,917 --> 00:05:16,417
Those union labors are tough.
117
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:18,500
That's why they make you a hero.
118
00:05:18,583 --> 00:05:20,917
Well, that's what I've been
training for, so let's do it.
119
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,750
Uh, if that's what you
want. But let's start small...
120
00:05:23,834 --> 00:05:26,709
Gettin' rid of king
diomedes' man-eating mares.
121
00:05:26,792 --> 00:05:28,750
Sure. No pro... man-eating?
122
00:05:28,834 --> 00:05:32,166
And an official hero labor
calls for a big send-off party...
123
00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:33,667
Man-eating?
124
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:37,041
So all your friends can say
good-bye, in case you don't make it.
125
00:05:37,125 --> 00:05:38,500
They eat men?
126
00:05:39,166 --> 00:05:42,333
Toothbrush,
mouthwash, razor... Ah.
127
00:05:43,333 --> 00:05:44,542
Mmm.
128
00:05:44,625 --> 00:05:47,208
Old spite, my personal favorite.
129
00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:49,583
Goin' on a vacation,
your combustibleness?
130
00:05:49,667 --> 00:05:53,750
No! I am going to Mt. Olympus,
boys. And it's not a vacation.
131
00:05:53,834 --> 00:05:55,041
It's an errand of mercy.
132
00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:58,250
You see, Zeus and Hera,
sadly, are having a little tiff.
133
00:05:58,333 --> 00:06:00,250
They need comfort and support.
134
00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:02,041
And I'm gonna make
sure they don't get any!
135
00:06:02,125 --> 00:06:04,375
Oh, their lives are
about to be ruined.
136
00:06:04,458 --> 00:06:08,333
And that will leave their darling
little son Hercules very vulnerable.
137
00:06:08,417 --> 00:06:11,834
Zeus, Hera, and
Jerkules... a triple play!
138
00:06:11,917 --> 00:06:14,709
Thank you very much! I'm
not leaving anything to chance.
139
00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,375
Or, worse, to you.
140
00:06:16,458 --> 00:06:18,291
I'm bringing in an expert.
141
00:06:18,375 --> 00:06:20,125
Huh? We're bein' replaced?
142
00:06:20,208 --> 00:06:21,750
That is correct, sirs.
143
00:06:21,834 --> 00:06:24,208
I've used you to attack
Hercules from the outside.
144
00:06:24,291 --> 00:06:26,458
This time I'm going to
attack him from the inside.
145
00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:31,542
Could you lose the whistle?
It's really demeaning.
146
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,625
Boys, meet my
newest evil minion...
147
00:06:34,709 --> 00:06:35,792
Neurosis.
148
00:06:36,625 --> 00:06:38,750
I've got a little job for you.
149
00:06:38,834 --> 00:06:41,000
Uh-huh. Yeah, well,
I mean, yeah, sure.
150
00:06:41,083 --> 00:06:43,333
I mean, hey, look. Look at
me. I'm... I'm-I'm flattered.
151
00:06:43,417 --> 00:06:45,834
I-I want to do it, but, hey,
you know, suppose I fail?
152
00:06:45,917 --> 00:06:48,226
I mean, then you'll hate me. Of
course, you know, if I succeed,
153
00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:50,059
you'll just expect even
more of me the next time.
154
00:06:50,083 --> 00:06:52,500
It's, uh... it's
getting dark, isn't it?
155
00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:55,291
I... I don't know.
Maybe it's just me, but...
156
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,667
Breathe. Breathe.
157
00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:01,709
He's a mess!
158
00:07:01,792 --> 00:07:04,417
And he's going to mess
with Hercules' mind.
159
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,959
Hera! Come out of there!
160
00:07:08,041 --> 00:07:10,041
You can't stay in there forever!
161
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:13,834
I'm not coming out
until you apologize!
162
00:07:13,917 --> 00:07:16,625
For being busy? Forget it!
163
00:07:19,667 --> 00:07:22,792
Zeus. Bro. From god
house to doghouse?
164
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,834
This isn't a good time, Hades.
165
00:07:24,917 --> 00:07:28,583
Hey, I'm sure it isn't.
And that's why I'm here.
166
00:07:28,667 --> 00:07:30,083
What are you talking about?
167
00:07:30,166 --> 00:07:33,041
Hey. You're my brother.
We're blood... If I had any.
168
00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:36,125
It pains me to see you and
Hera like this. I wanna help.
169
00:07:36,208 --> 00:07:38,208
Well, maybe you can
talk some sense into her.
170
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,834
We're supposed to be
at a party for Hercules,
171
00:07:40,917 --> 00:07:43,750
And she won't come out
of her room so I can tell her.
172
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:46,166
Oh, I should just
forget the party.
173
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:48,333
I'm not in the mood, anyway.
174
00:07:48,417 --> 00:07:51,083
I'd probably just
ruin it for Hercules.
175
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:54,083
I've got to work off
some of this anger!
176
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:56,125
Where are my thunderbolts?
177
00:07:58,667 --> 00:07:59,583
Hera?
178
00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:01,834
Knocky-knocky.
179
00:08:01,917 --> 00:08:03,000
Hades?
180
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:04,583
What are you doing here?
181
00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:06,333
Ah, I'm just keepin'
you company,
182
00:08:06,417 --> 00:08:08,750
Now that my brother
the brute left you.
183
00:08:08,834 --> 00:08:10,208
Left me?
184
00:08:10,291 --> 00:08:11,375
Where's he going?
185
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:13,834
Oh, cloud hopping with Bacchus.
186
00:08:13,917 --> 00:08:16,208
Said he couldn't stand being
on the same cirrus with you.
187
00:08:16,291 --> 00:08:17,375
Can you imagine that?
188
00:08:17,458 --> 00:08:18,917
He said that?
189
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,226
Oh, well, I'm sure
he didn't mean it.
190
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:23,083
I can't believe he said half the
terrible things he said about you.
191
00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:25,792
Wha... what terrible things?
192
00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:28,709
Let's put on some nectar. We'll
talk, OK? You got some decaf?
193
00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:35,417
This is going to be fantastic.
194
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:39,917
So? Whaddya think,
kid? Great send-off, huh?
195
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,417
Wow! You invited half of Athens.
196
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:45,208
And half of olympus,
too, includin' your folks.
197
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,417
Heh heh! This
should impress them.
198
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:49,208
My folks? They're coming here?
199
00:08:49,291 --> 00:08:51,834
Wow. They don't party
with mortals very often.
200
00:08:53,083 --> 00:08:54,750
I don't see 'em anywhere.
201
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,333
They'll be here. Don't worry.
202
00:08:56,417 --> 00:08:58,166
Gods gotta make
an entrance, ya know.
203
00:09:09,625 --> 00:09:11,750
They're not coming.
204
00:09:11,834 --> 00:09:14,166
- Parents. Go figure.
- Who are you?
205
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:16,291
Well, identity is such
a complicated issue.
206
00:09:16,375 --> 00:09:19,250
I mean, there's the "me" I think I
am, the "me" people see me as,
207
00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:22,291
And no two people see me the
same way, so I'm a multiple personality.
208
00:09:22,375 --> 00:09:23,375
It's huge.
209
00:09:23,458 --> 00:09:25,667
Uh... I just wanted your name.
210
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:28,083
Neurosis. And you must
be the guest of honor...
211
00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:29,875
Hercules, hero-in-training.
212
00:09:29,959 --> 00:09:32,291
Although you shouldn't be
so sure about the hero part.
213
00:09:32,375 --> 00:09:33,834
Your parents aren't, apparently.
214
00:09:33,917 --> 00:09:36,041
- What do you mean by that?
- Ahh, parents expect us
215
00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:37,834
to make something
of ourselves. I mean,
216
00:09:37,917 --> 00:09:41,125
the pressure can be crippling.
But do they ever really believe in us?
217
00:09:41,208 --> 00:09:43,500
Ohhh... I'm beginning to wonder.
218
00:09:45,333 --> 00:09:47,059
Take you, for instance.
If your folks really thought
219
00:09:47,083 --> 00:09:50,583
you were ready to battle the man-eating
mares, wouldn't they be here for you?
220
00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:52,834
Talk about abandonment issues.
221
00:09:52,917 --> 00:09:55,959
Ladies, gentlemen,
gods, and goddesses...
222
00:09:56,041 --> 00:09:57,875
attention.
223
00:09:57,959 --> 00:10:00,291
You've all been
very patient waiting
224
00:10:00,375 --> 00:10:03,709
for two unfashionably
late gods...
225
00:10:03,792 --> 00:10:05,750
who happen to be omniscient.
226
00:10:05,834 --> 00:10:09,250
But can't remember what
time the party starts. Ha ha.
227
00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:11,750
So, without further ado,
228
00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:14,625
I present a
scrummy little dessert
229
00:10:14,709 --> 00:10:17,333
I whipped up for
this special occasion.
230
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:19,792
Wow! Look at that!
231
00:10:22,375 --> 00:10:26,542
And now if our guest of
honor would cut the first slice...
232
00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:29,750
Go, Herc! Go,
Herc! Go, Herc! Go!
233
00:10:35,917 --> 00:10:38,834
Another dessert ruined!
234
00:10:38,917 --> 00:10:41,208
You know, I just
make it look easy.
235
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,000
Ooh, bad break.
236
00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:46,834
Oh... and a bad omen,
when you think about it.
237
00:10:46,917 --> 00:10:48,500
What are you getting at now?
238
00:10:48,583 --> 00:10:50,375
Well, come on. If
you can't cut the cake,
239
00:10:50,458 --> 00:10:52,000
how you gonna cut the mustard?
240
00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:55,250
Or the mares, as the
case may be. Oh, boy.
241
00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:58,000
- I mean, just a thought. You know.
- Oh, man.
242
00:11:05,542 --> 00:11:07,625
Zeus, gosh, um,
243
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,542
you must be tired after
all that venting, huh?
244
00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,375
You know what? I'll
warm up your sheet, too.
245
00:11:11,458 --> 00:11:13,000
What's the meaning of this?
246
00:11:13,083 --> 00:11:15,166
Hey, hey, I'm just
the messenger, babe.
247
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,500
Hera's orders. So
you apologize, OK?
248
00:11:17,583 --> 00:11:18,917
Here's your little teddybolt.
249
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,458
This is outrageous!
250
00:11:20,542 --> 00:11:22,834
I'm the lord of the universe!
251
00:11:22,917 --> 00:11:25,166
I'm not sleeping on that sofa.
252
00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:29,667
Oh, I should just apologize.
253
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,166
Maybe I was wrong.
254
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:33,291
Lord of the
universe... Apologize?
255
00:11:33,375 --> 00:11:35,792
Are you kidding? Isn't that kinda
showing a sign of weakness?
256
00:11:35,875 --> 00:11:38,583
Take "omnipotent" off
your business card, babe.
257
00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:40,542
- You're right.
- Tell you what.
258
00:11:40,625 --> 00:11:42,834
Why don't you crash
at my pad, huh?
259
00:11:42,917 --> 00:11:44,184
I know it's a little
gloomy down there,
260
00:11:44,208 --> 00:11:47,458
but you need some, if you'll
pardon the pun, downtime.
261
00:11:47,542 --> 00:11:48,375
You know what I mean?
262
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:52,083
Leave? That seems
kind of extreme.
263
00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:53,458
Trust me, this'll help.
264
00:11:53,542 --> 00:11:54,959
Hey, and you know what?
265
00:11:55,041 --> 00:11:57,208
I'll stay here and I'll
talk some sense into her.
266
00:11:57,291 --> 00:12:02,208
Well, OK. Thanks,
little brother.
267
00:12:02,291 --> 00:12:05,083
You are being
sincere, aren't you?
268
00:12:05,166 --> 00:12:09,000
This had better not be
one of your evil schemes.
269
00:12:09,083 --> 00:12:10,434
Ouch. You know,
it's that kind of attitude
270
00:12:10,458 --> 00:12:12,041
that gets you in jams like this.
271
00:12:12,125 --> 00:12:15,875
You need, really need, to
work on your people skills. OK?
272
00:12:15,959 --> 00:12:18,000
Uh, you're right.
273
00:12:18,083 --> 00:12:19,709
Sorry, Hades.
274
00:12:19,792 --> 00:12:21,250
Ahh, that's OK.
275
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:23,542
Hey, takes a lot to make me hot.
276
00:12:24,792 --> 00:12:28,041
Ha ha. And I am just warming up.
277
00:12:28,125 --> 00:12:29,834
Ha ha ha!
278
00:12:43,125 --> 00:12:45,834
So, this is the
Prometheus Academy.
279
00:12:45,917 --> 00:12:47,208
Interesting. Wow.
280
00:12:47,291 --> 00:12:49,792
Hey, get out of my
backpack, would you?
281
00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:51,542
And what do you
mean by "interesting"?
282
00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:54,917
Well, it's just that, come on,
isn't this a school for mortals?
283
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,333
Well, yeah. So?
284
00:12:56,417 --> 00:12:58,083
"So"? Come on, what
do you mean, "so"?
285
00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:00,041
So, if your parents
were really interested
286
00:13:00,125 --> 00:13:01,685
in preparing you for
a future on Olympus,
287
00:13:01,709 --> 00:13:02,893
don't you think they
would have sent you
288
00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:04,875
to a school for gods? Come on.
289
00:13:04,959 --> 00:13:07,834
Oh, I-I never
thought of it like that.
290
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,434
Yeah, well, come on, I mean, I'm
sure there's a perfectly good explanation.
291
00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:11,601
You know, maybe
they're just, uh,
292
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,333
I don't know,
covering their bets.
293
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,137
Bets? Yeah, you know,
maybe they're thinking
294
00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:17,166
that if you fail as a hero,
295
00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:20,375
then at least you're prepared
for life as a common mortal.
296
00:13:20,458 --> 00:13:22,208
You'll be fine. Or,
uh, who knows?
297
00:13:22,291 --> 00:13:23,651
Maybe they secretly
wanted a girl.
298
00:13:23,709 --> 00:13:25,250
But hey, what do I
know? Look at me.
299
00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:27,792
They are disappointed with me.
300
00:13:29,834 --> 00:13:32,750
Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey.
301
00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:37,166
Oh. Hades... Good morning.
302
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:41,208
I wondered where
Zeus slept last night.
303
00:13:41,291 --> 00:13:42,583
He never came to bed.
304
00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:44,559
Oh, actually, he never came
home. That's where I slept. Toast?
305
00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:45,583
What?
306
00:13:46,709 --> 00:13:49,792
He can be such a
big baby sometimes.
307
00:13:49,875 --> 00:13:53,750
When he gets home, we're going
to have a serious talk about this.
308
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,959
He has to know he
cannot take me for granted.
309
00:13:56,041 --> 00:13:57,417
Good. Good for you.
310
00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:01,041
You know, I may be stepping on
your goddess-of-marriage toes here,
311
00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:04,291
But don't you think action
might speak louder than words?
312
00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:05,917
What kind of action?
313
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,792
Maybe to appreciate you
fully, maybe Zeus needs to know
314
00:14:08,875 --> 00:14:11,792
what it's like to
live without you,
315
00:14:11,875 --> 00:14:14,125
like, say, come home
to an empty cloud.
316
00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:17,500
That seems rather extreme.
317
00:14:17,583 --> 00:14:21,417
True. True. But can Zeus
not be a little thick sometimes?
318
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:22,917
No need to tell me.
319
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:26,166
Hmm. Perhaps you're right.
320
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,750
I'll just go and stay with
my mother for a few days.
321
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:31,667
That should get his attention.
322
00:14:31,750 --> 00:14:34,375
Say hi to momsey
for me. Ba-da-bing.
323
00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:36,583
I am smokin'.
324
00:14:42,458 --> 00:14:43,500
Aah!
325
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,083
Wow, this is high up.
326
00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:46,333
Am I getting a nose bleed?
327
00:14:46,417 --> 00:14:47,810
Would you just go away?
328
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:50,208
I got to tell you, heights
really bother me, man.
329
00:14:50,291 --> 00:14:51,333
One slip, ouch.
330
00:14:51,417 --> 00:14:53,792
Bones can snap like that
and take months to heal.
331
00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:55,041
If they set right.
332
00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,085
And if they don't, they're
like calcium time bombs
333
00:14:57,125 --> 00:14:58,250
waiting to snap again.
334
00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:00,500
But, hey, you know,
you're the hero type.
335
00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:01,834
What do you care? Good luck.
336
00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:03,333
Whoa!
337
00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:04,417
Aah!
338
00:15:07,542 --> 00:15:09,792
Aah!
339
00:15:10,750 --> 00:15:12,542
What's with the swan dive, kid?
340
00:15:12,625 --> 00:15:14,917
Oh. I was pushed.
341
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,583
Sure you were. And if
Pegasus was a man-eating mare,
342
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,625
he'd be grazing on
your hide right now.
343
00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:24,083
I was pushed. There's this guy
who keeps poppin' up. He's up...
344
00:15:24,166 --> 00:15:26,041
Hey, where'd he go?
345
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,375
Herc, you got to keep
your wits about you.
346
00:15:28,458 --> 00:15:29,917
You're enterin' the big leagues.
347
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,917
Seein' things is not good.
348
00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:34,834
I'm not seeing
things. I can do this.
349
00:15:38,125 --> 00:15:40,333
You, uh, wanted
to see me, Hades?
350
00:15:40,458 --> 00:15:42,333
Didn't think I'd find you here.
351
00:15:42,417 --> 00:15:43,834
Hangin' for the weekend?
352
00:15:43,917 --> 00:15:46,667
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A long weekend, yeah.
353
00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:48,125
My change-of-domain card.
354
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:52,125
You're moving in with
Zeus and Hera? Kooky.
355
00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:54,583
Well, actually, I'm filling in.
356
00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:55,583
Ah, you might as well know.
357
00:15:55,667 --> 00:15:57,125
Zeus and Hera split.
358
00:15:57,250 --> 00:15:58,709
The cosmic couple?
359
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,875
Booking a gig in divorce court?
360
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:05,000
Yeah, I'm just sick about
this. Just sick about it.
361
00:16:05,083 --> 00:16:06,685
Hey, but whatcha gonna
do? Can't look back.
362
00:16:06,709 --> 00:16:07,976
Gotta keep the universe runnin'.
363
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,840
So, call a meeting of the gods. Need
to powwow on this pronto, OK, babe?
364
00:16:24,458 --> 00:16:26,333
We need a bigger rope.
365
00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:34,250
How many man-eating
mares are in a herd, exactly?
366
00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:35,208
I don't know.
367
00:16:35,291 --> 00:16:37,792
Come on, what? A dozen?
Hundreds? Thousands?
368
00:16:37,917 --> 00:16:39,351
What's that little
symbol for infinity?
369
00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:41,083
Whichever, you're outnumbered.
370
00:16:44,875 --> 00:16:46,792
Oopsy. I don't like these odds.
371
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,041
I'm outta here, man.
372
00:16:48,166 --> 00:16:49,226
Which will make the
odds worse for you,
373
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,250
but, hey, you're prepared.
374
00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:53,083
Your sandal's untied.
375
00:16:54,959 --> 00:16:57,875
Hey, did you see
another guy out there?
376
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,208
I got a bad feelin' about this.
377
00:17:28,125 --> 00:17:30,583
Poor Zeus and Hera.
378
00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:34,125
If only I had a
recipe for happiness.
379
00:17:34,208 --> 00:17:38,125
Hestia, honey, this is gonna
take more than a bundt cake. OK?
380
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:41,333
People! We need to pull
together on this one, people.
381
00:17:41,458 --> 00:17:42,834
We need to keep things going
382
00:17:42,917 --> 00:17:45,375
until Zeus and Hera
can spackle their spat.
383
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,625
I would do anything
to help them.
384
00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:49,542
That's the spirit.
You know what?
385
00:17:49,625 --> 00:17:51,184
You could cover the
marriage department for Hera.
386
00:17:51,208 --> 00:17:53,041
Oh, bake a few
wedding cakes, whatever.
387
00:17:53,166 --> 00:17:56,417
And of course, we'll need
someone to fill in for Zeus,
388
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,291
Handle all those
responsibilities,
389
00:17:58,375 --> 00:18:00,208
Carry the weight of the world.
390
00:18:01,166 --> 00:18:05,542
Someone who can take the heat!
391
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,208
Aah! Oh!
392
00:18:23,583 --> 00:18:25,792
Oh, man, am I gonna
have nightmares about this.
393
00:18:25,875 --> 00:18:27,125
Forget about it.
394
00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:29,008
By the way, are your
affairs in order, really?
395
00:18:29,125 --> 00:18:31,000
I mean, any next of
kin I should notify?
396
00:18:31,083 --> 00:18:33,417
I mean, I'll do you a
favor. You're history, baby.
397
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,625
Get lost, would you?
398
00:18:35,709 --> 00:18:38,291
Whoa!
399
00:18:41,542 --> 00:18:42,959
Aah! Aah!
400
00:18:43,041 --> 00:18:45,500
We got to do somethin',
or the kid's horse chow.
401
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,166
Kid, give it up!
You're outmatched!
402
00:18:48,291 --> 00:18:50,542
Call for divine intervention!
403
00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:57,625
Oh, Hera, how did we let
this tiff get so out of hand?
404
00:18:57,750 --> 00:18:59,583
Even the lord of the universe
405
00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:02,375
isn't too big to say he's sorry.
406
00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:05,625
Father, help me! I need you!
407
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:06,709
Hercules?
408
00:19:06,792 --> 00:19:09,125
He's never beseeched
me with that tone before.
409
00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:10,834
He must be in real trouble.
410
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,875
Where'd I park that cloud?
411
00:19:16,083 --> 00:19:18,000
Cerberus, put down
that cloud, or you'll...
412
00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:22,875
Bad dog!
413
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,375
Oh, now how am I going to
get out of this bachelor pit?
414
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:28,166
Wait a minute. Ha! That's it.
415
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:31,583
I'm a god. I can be omnipresent.
416
00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:35,792
Father, please, help!
417
00:19:35,917 --> 00:19:37,834
Please!
418
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:49,500
I'm comin', son!
419
00:19:49,583 --> 00:19:51,625
Get away from him, ya glue wad!
420
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:54,625
Snack on somethin' else!
421
00:19:54,709 --> 00:19:55,834
What am I sayin'?
422
00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:03,625
Help! Some god,
help! Zeus! Hera!
423
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:05,959
Beseeching all gods!
424
00:20:10,458 --> 00:20:12,500
What the... Do you mind?
425
00:20:12,625 --> 00:20:14,375
We're in an emergency
session here. Come on.
426
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:16,959
We got an emergency
session right here!
427
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:18,792
Help!
428
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:23,291
Ooh, when you're hot,
you're hot. Hee hee hee.
429
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:37,542
Hercules! Son,
are you all right?
430
00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:38,667
I'll be fine.
431
00:20:38,750 --> 00:20:42,500
How come you're here like that?
432
00:20:42,583 --> 00:20:44,000
Long story.
433
00:20:44,083 --> 00:20:46,208
Hercules, you're hurt.
434
00:20:46,291 --> 00:20:47,875
What are you doing out here?
435
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,375
I-I was tryin' to
make you proud.
436
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:52,709
You've been so
disappointed in me lately.
437
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:55,208
Whatever gave you that idea?
438
00:20:55,291 --> 00:20:57,083
We're always proud of you.
439
00:20:57,208 --> 00:20:59,750
It was your father I
was disappointed with.
440
00:20:59,875 --> 00:21:02,125
Now, Hera, don't
drag him into this.
441
00:21:02,208 --> 00:21:03,625
Into what?
442
00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:06,375
We've been having
a little tiff, that's all.
443
00:21:06,458 --> 00:21:07,917
Weren't we, honey?
444
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,083
Yes, we were.
445
00:21:10,208 --> 00:21:14,667
I'm sorry I forgot
our anniversary, dear.
446
00:21:14,750 --> 00:21:17,000
I guess I let my
job distract me.
447
00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:19,333
I'm sorry, too.
448
00:21:19,417 --> 00:21:21,500
Sometimes I forget
how busy you are.
449
00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:24,083
So, you weren't mad at me?
450
00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:25,291
I didn't have to do this?
451
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:26,875
No, dear.
452
00:21:26,959 --> 00:21:31,041
We're sorry we let our spat get
so out of hand it involved you.
453
00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:33,166
Well, to be honest,
454
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,667
It wouldn't have
gotten so out of hand
455
00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:38,166
if you hadn't forced
me to sleep on the sofa.
456
00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:40,834
I did no such thing.
457
00:21:40,917 --> 00:21:43,041
You left me to go cloud
hopping with Bacchus.
458
00:21:43,125 --> 00:21:44,917
I did not!
459
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,709
But Hades said... Hades...
460
00:21:48,834 --> 00:21:50,000
What have you been up to?
461
00:21:50,125 --> 00:21:54,875
Ha ha ha. You know, one day
we'll look back on this and laugh.
462
00:21:54,959 --> 00:21:57,041
And I'll be back that one day.
463
00:21:57,792 --> 00:22:00,875
Let me give you
a lift back home.
464
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,166
Uh, speaking of lifts
back home, sweetie,
465
00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:06,792
Could you zip down to the
underworld and pick me up?
466
00:22:08,125 --> 00:22:10,625
I feel like I've failed
you. I really do.
467
00:22:10,709 --> 00:22:14,709
- I'm sorry. I apologize.
- Put a cork in it. OK?
34468
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