All language subtitles for Abbott.Elementary.S04E21.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab

Oh, crap, crap, crap.

The aquarium is not gonna be
open in time for our field trip.

I still can't believe
people really thought

it was a good idea to free
the fish after the Super Bowl.

Eagles fans are really, uh...

What?

Unique.

So does this mean no
end-of-the-year field trip?

Oh, no. There will
be a field trip.

I've learned to book
a backup just in case.

So we will be going to...

Broadway! A Broadway show!

No. That's a good idea.

New York's not far. I'll
save that for next time.

No, we are going to the
Please Touch Museum.

Ooh, fantastic.

And maybe they
will find the shark

and we get to see him
next year at the aquarium.

Good morning, y'all.

Morning. Does anyone
need shark fin soup?

My freezer is stuffed
to the gills with it.

Shark is the tuna of the sea.

...Captions by Verbit...

I just bought a
cute little outfit like that

for my future glamchild.

You look like you're
about to take me to court

for stealing your Binky.

Look, I feel the need
to kindly remind you

to never put baby in a corner.

Today we are going
to the district

to make a formal appeal
to get Ava her job back.

The disciplinary board is giving
us a chance to plead our case.

Jacob watched four seasons
of "Law & Order" to prepare.

I watched "Shogun,"
which didn't help,

but I do know a
lot about seppuku.

I don't like it.

So it took a miracle, but
I managed to get a few subs

to cover all your classes
for the rest of the day,

so don't worry
about rushing back.

Good, good, good.

Good morning, Principal Eddie.

Oh, good morning, Langston.

Now hurry up and get to
class before the bell rings.

Alright, good luck, y'all.

Alright, I'll see you two there.

Wait. No, no, I thought we
were all gonna ride together.

Yeah, I made a "Rollin'
With the Homies"

playlist for the commute.

Sweet Cheeks' car seat

takes up, like, my
entire back seat, so...

And I'm just gonna ride
with her because...

I don't want to
hear that playlist.

Uh... Let's go get a
job back, young people.

Come on. Okay, I really
think we should take one car.

You guys, the planet.

And as you can see,

I was only trying to do what was
best for our staff and students.

So you didn't extort
a local business

and accept contributions that
go against district policy?

No, I did, because
that was what was best

for our staff and students.

May I approach the table
as a character witness?

Just stay where you are.

Look, we can... we can discuss
"the facts" or "what happened"

all day until we're
blue in the face.

You know?

Um, let me try. Yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen,
it is safe to assume

that we are all God-fearing
people, is it not?

No, not at all.

Why would you assume that?

I'm, like, spiritual
when I need to be.

Oh, my, my, my.

Ava only
bent the rules

because we have so
little at Abbott.

Little? Try nothing.

There are public parks with
more resources than us.

You want us to
come to your house

and take your toilet paper?

That felt like a threat.

I would like to
declare Miss Schemmenti

a hostile witness. What?

Listen, if I'm accused of
doing whatever it takes

to help our kids, then
guilty as charged.

Yes, is caring too much

something you really
want to punish?

Ava is an
amazing principal,

and she has more than
learned her lesson.

And is that really what you
want to say to the educators

of the Philadelphia
public school system?

Care less?

It's powerful testimony.

Just give us a second.

Okay.

Appeal denied.

Ms. Coleman is still fired
for lying to the board.

Wait. There is one thing.

Yes?

Pay for your parking
at the machine

before you get to your car.

People don't like being
held up at the gate

while you're fumbling
for your credit card.

Okay. Bye.

Wait, wait, wait.

Um... we have some new
smoking-gun evidence

that we'd like a few
minutes to review

and bring it to your honors,

your honors, please. Yes, yes.

Okay.

Set a timer for 30 seconds.

- Oh, my God. Okay.
- Come on, guys.

I would have given them 15.

Well, I'm hungry.

Oh, God, I love
surprise evidence.

What do you got? I got
nothing. I was stalling.

What? I told you, they're
not backing down from this.

This is so unfair!

Why couldn't they
take me instead?

Oh, my God, they told
us during the audit

that it's really hard
to fire teachers.

And with the sub shortage,
they can't suspend all of us.

So what if we go in
there, admit it was us,

and... and we'll get
a slap on the wrist,

and then Ava gets her job back.

A sacrifice.

Oh, Barbara Howard the Martyr
does have a nice ring to it.

Uh, to be clear,
you all did do it.

You initiated the
bribing. I'm a hero.

Oh, my God.

Okay, so are we doing this?

Pleading guilty to anything is
against everything I stand for.

So we'll call it no contest.

Let's go! Melissa: Okay.

Whoo! I am vibrating
with adrenaline.

Is this what it feels
like to play a team sport?

Y'all are so embarrassing.

Thank you.

Miles, thank you for
stopping by on short notice.

Please, sign in.

Looks like somebody benefited

from the little shake-up
around here, huh?

Um, yeah. Please,
come to my office.

Okay, well...

I know we lost the things that
we got from the golf course,

but I was hoping that I could
save the students' golf club

since RJ and the students have
benefited so much from it.

Oh, this? I'm just...
I'm trying something new.

Red is supposed to
be persuasive, okay?

So, about the golf
club, I was thinking...

Oh, uh, we will be
shutting that down

after this school
year, no question.

Okay, what if we didn't do that?

What are you
prepared to give me?

Nothing. No more bribes.

Everything above water.

So, I would give
you a golf club,

and you would give me...

The satisfaction of knowing
you created a program

that helped so many children.

Ava was so much better at this.

Uh, look, the tax breaks
for a student club,

they don't move
the needle enough.

Hold on.

This can be a mutually
beneficial deal.

If you designated a separate
community club for all ages,

thus reclassifying under the
501 nonprofit tax code...

Go on. I looked at the comps in
the area and I ran the numbers.

With that tax savings,

you would net more than
5% more revenue annually.

So this would be a legal bribe.

Otherwise known as a deal.

I like the cut of
your jib, Eddie.

Oh, and, by the way,
your shirt, it really...

Persuaded you?

Made me want to
switch to State Farm.

Consider burning that.
Okay, take care, now.

Alright, Abbott Elementary.

What is this new evidence
that has come to light?

What new evidence?

Oh, just a little
thing called the truth!

Ow. Wow.

Ava had nothing to
do with taking bribes

from the golf course.

Because it was me.

And me.

I may or may not have
known about things

that may or may
not have happened.

Ava took the blame because it
would be harder on our students

to replace their
day-to-day teachers,

even if it was temporary.

Isn't that the exact
kind of principal

we want leading our schools?

Is this true? Of course.

Anyone can do what I do,

but capable teachers like
J-Janine are irreplaceable.

Well, it appears that
we have made a mistake.

Oh! Thank you for your honesty

and for setting the
record straight.

So, per this new
information, as of Monday,

you're all suspended for a week.

What? Suspended?

For a week?

Do you know how
hard it's gonna be

to find subs for
this many teachers?

I do not, because it's
not my jurisdiction.

Okay, I have a
dependent at the school

that relies on me being
physically present.

And what is the child's name?

Sweet Cheeks.

Sw...

It's a guinea pig.

Well, Sweet Cheeks is
suspended, as well.

Okay, but at least
Ava's back as principal.

Of course not.

She's still fired for
lying to the board.

Great plan, Janine.

Um, yeah, just letting you know
that you will be having a sub

or series of subs taking
over for me next week.

What are you doing
for a whole week?

Did you get in trouble? No.

I'm simply taking a
principled vacation

in support of Principal Coleman.

That's not a vacation,
bro. You got suspended.

Okay, uh...

They suspended you for trying

to get Principal
Coleman's job back?

Dang. That's messed up.

Yeah, we should do something.

Yeah. No, no.

Look, I-I appreciate
you guys so much,

but this is not
your fight, okay?

Alright, class, Miss
Teagues won't be here,

uh, next Monday, okay?

Or Tuesday... or Wednesday
or Thursday or Friday.

No!

Yes, Lila.

How come?

Miss Teagues will be on
a long, unpaid vacation.

But you'll be back
for Earth Day?

I'm not gonna be
back for Earth Day.

Oh, my God, what did we do?

You know, we did everything
we could to get Ava back,

and she's still fired.

You know, this is the
first and only time

I have been professionally
reprimanded in my entire career.

And I do not plan to be
a good sport about it.

Same.

I've only been suspended
in my nightmares.

And even then, my
dream self wakes up

to a dream where
I'm not suspended.

Okay, it's... it's a
huge bummer, alright?

But I'm not gonna lie.

Gregory being principal is not
the worst thing in the world.

Well, I appreciate the praise,
but the job isn't mine.

I'm gonna interview for it,

but they'll be interviewing
a lot of people for the role.

So it could be anybody?

Yeah, I heard even
Morton's interviewing.

I will riot! Gregory: Agreed.

I'll see you all later.

I now have to go
find a bunch of subs

we definitely don't
have for next week.

Oh, hell naw.

We cannot allow some rando
principal or Morton...

...to come in
here and ruin our school.

Yeah, well, what are
we gonna do about it?

Because we are all
out of options.

No, no, no, no, no,
we just need to think

outside of the box to
bring Ava back, okay?

Come on, let's brainstorm.

There are no bad ideas,
okay? Alright, come on.

I know a brother who
clones for the low.

We raise the clone, teach
her how to be a principal.

Mm-hmm. Let's keep
brainstorming.

- Okay, yeah.
- Yeah.

Thank you both for
hopping on this Zoom.

Um, Tariq, please tell me
that's a fake background.

Why would it be fake?

Okay.

Would both of you
be able to help out

in some classrooms next week?

A bunch of teachers
got suspended

trying to help Ava
get her job back.

Ooh. Okay, here's the thing.

Yes, but I could not help
out with math, English,

history, or science.

What the hell is wrong
with these district people?

You know, they're gonna make
this bitch become that bitch.

Mm-hmm, yes. Oh.

As a matter of fact, I'm coming
down there right now, bro.

No, no, no, no, unh-unh, no, no.

Sit down. It's okay.

I don't need you,
um, until Monday,

but I appreciate the enthusiasm.

Okay, well, we're gonna be
down there for sure, brother.

Okay. Oh, yeah, you're
gonna see us real soon.

Mm-hmm. I'm getting
sick of them.

This can't be it.

What haven't we thought of yet?

Squatter's rights. This is
our school now. Ooh, yeah.

Hey, Mrs. Howard, can I
borrow some of your markers

from the classroom?
Sure, sweetheart.

Just put them back
when you're done.

You know, this never
would have happened

if we were a charter school.

They're allowed to solicit
donations all they want.

Oh, my God, Jacob,
you beautiful genius.

That's it. We become
a charter school.

Just for a little bit,
and then we change back.

Okay, how the hell
do we do that?

One step ahead of you.

"How to become a
charter school."

Make an account? Never mind.

Hey, Mr. C, can I borrow this?

Sure, bud. All yours.

I got it.

I'll interview for
principal, get the job.

Then we'll need a new janitor.

Ava applies for the position.

And then...

What are we trying to do again?

Oh, you know, maybe
it is just time

that we accept the
things we cannot change.

I
can't accept that.

Okay, there might be one thing.

What? What?

It's the Schemmenti Diversion.

It's an old family secret.

I'm gonna need a dozen
balaclava, a tray of baklava,

an ice cream truck, and
a boatload of zip ties,

and the grace of God.

We in? Yeah.

Let's do it.

First we get him
into a clown wig.

I was up all night trying
to figure this out,

but I think we'll be able
to have all of our classes

covered while our
teachers are suspended.

Look, I do wish Ava was here,

but getting to do all
of this problem-solving

and decision-making in
support of the entire school

is starting to make me remember

why I wanted to be principal
in the first place.

You want a high five?
I don't give those.

By the way, your
paycheck arrived.

Oh.

God damn!

Never seen a check
like that before, huh?

No, I have not.

Okay, I picked up the
five dozen balloons.

Did you pay in cash? 'Cause
we can't leave a paper trail.

Why did I need to
buy 88 gumballs?

Janine, please tell me
you blew the bubble,

'cause I'm not doing
it for you again.

Important thing, the oxygen
tank taps out after 30 minutes.

Right. Got it?

This just might work
out. Okay, let's do it.

- Okay.
- Is it recess?

You all think your
plan is so clever?

Guess what, smarties.
It's gonna backfire.

Oh, my God, there's
a rat amongst us.

A walkout's not gonna
change our decision.

Wait, what? Uh, a walkout?

Brandon, what...
what is going on?

We're protesting, Mr. C.

We can't let you
guys take that L.

Aww!

They're peacefully protesting.

I'm just...

Okay, I hear you,

I see you, and I respect you.

But please do not walk out

and make this the
worst day of my job.

The district will be
here shortly to quell...

to listen to you and
your needs shortly.

Okay, I'm gonna go call Ava.

Alright, alright.

Alright, the clock is ticking.

They have 29 minutes
of oxygen left.

Uh, um... We should get them.

We love how passionate you
all are about your school,

which is why we thought
it would be a good idea

to have this forum, which
just so happens to coincide

with you wanting to
walk out of the school.

We are here to listen.

For 30 seconds at a time.

Well, thank you
for hearing us out.

Um, if anyone would like to
speak, just stand up, I guess.

Well said. Next speaker.

Ava and these
teachers are my closest friends.

Oh, not this again.

I love them,

and they challenge me
to be better every day.

Really? Morton is the
ace up your sleeve?

Knew I should've
went to the club.

Look, the kids did it, okay?

We had a slightly
more complicated plan,

but I think this one is better.

It's just like I tell my wife.

Sorry, my ex-ex-wife.

Oh, my
God. I say, look...

Okay, I think we got
it, Morton. Thanks.

Our teachers do everything.
What do y'all do?

Aren't y'all the ones that
took our archery equipment?

How am I supposed to
become the next Hawkeye?

Okay, please, please,
one at a time.

I was having a hard time,

but these teachers
and Principal Coleman

stepped up when I thought
no one else cared.

Without them, I don't
know where I would be.

RJ speaking at a rally?

We have come so far. Yeah.

So moving, right?

Well, the good news, kiddos,

is that your teachers will be
back in five business days,

and we are working very hard
to find you a new principal.

Excuse me. Have you decided

how much that new
principal will be making?

Do you have any idea
how much property damage

can be accomplished
in five business days?

Really? Really?

Nothing that you have
heard from these students

or the faculty matter to you?

No.

So if everyone is
done feeling heard...

Good. Great, okay.

Janine, we lost.

It happens. To
you all the time.

No, no, no, no, no.
Maybe if we, um...

I think we... we
can probably...

Janine, it's over.

On your left.

My bad. I meant my
left. Uh, y'all's right.

As the PTA, we will not stand by

while y'all are hurting
our children's education

with this nonsense.

You can say that again.

As the B.L.A.C.K.S.,
we've seen firsthand

how Miss Coleman has transformed
this rundown elementary school

into an unpredictable
music venue.

And I speak for the
local businesses

when I say that we have
seen the positive changes

that this school
and its leadership

has contributed
to this community.

They supported us
during the SEPTA strike,

so we are here to support them!

Perhaps this whole issue can be
put to bed by a white savior.

Well, uh, as someone who has
bribed thousands of people

across this fair city,
this was the only place

that those bribes
benefited children

and not corrupt officials.

- He's not wrong.
- Okay.

Oh, my gosh, guys, the
community is coming together,

and we didn't even
have to trick them.

Good afternoon.

How many damn doors do
we have in this gym?

Wasn't Crystal the one that
ratted us out to the district?

Yup. She must be here
to finish the job.

Mm, just when we almost
had the board on our side.

Soror.

- Boar-ord.
- Oh, no.

Although I've had my
differences in the past

- with Principal Coleman...
- You don't say.

You're my number-one
hater, and I have a lot.

Myself and these
other principals know

that no one fights harder
for their school than Ava

and these educators.

Any school in this district

would be lucky to
have these teachers

and a principal like Ava.

And if you think differently,

then you don't know what's
best for your own district.

Bring them back!

Bring them back!
Bring them back!

Stop the chant!

So, after hearing the
community's thoughtful thoughts,

we have decided
we have no choice

but to go forward with
our original plan,

which was to reinstate Ava
and her band of teachers.

And slide...

Ooh, they tried it,

but my record, like my
spirit, remains unsullied.

Uh-huh. Now, when are all
these people gonna go home?

I don't know, but I have an
ice cream truck to return

and a bunch of baklava to eat.

I wanted to thank you guys
for seeing this through.

It really means a lot to me.

You're welcome.
It was worth it.

Agreed. You, ma'am, are
worth the sacrifice.

Mm-hmm. I really am, aren't I?

Like, if it wasn't for
how good and wonderful

and impactful I am, you'd
have nothing to fight for.

So I guess I got to
thank myself, too.

Yeah. There it is.

Don't you think we ought to nip
this line dancing in the bud?

Yeah, Jacob, get over
there and start dancing.

That'll let the air
out of their tires.

Uh, looks like Miles
already has that covered.

Can't unsee it.
I can't unsee it. Wow.

Goodness. Good night.

Oh, also, my internal clock

has gotten used to
sleeping in till 10:00,

so I'll be late until
I can reset that.

Ooh, it is good to
have you back, friend.

What's that?

I mean Principal Coleman.

Ava, congratulations.

I'm glad to see
this all worked out.

Well, you sure
have a lot of time

to keep popping
up at this school.

I'm just happy to see
you got a second chance.

Yeah, but see, I
got a second chance

because I was actually
good at my first chance.

Fair enough.

I hope you know that...

I'm proud of you.

Even if I wasn't always there.

Thank you.

I'm around if you need anything.

What, for, like, a haircut?

Can you do a bob? No.

I just mean...

anything.

The power's
addicting, isn't it?

I was just keeping
it warm for you.

Ew.

Now, what is that?

Uh, lumbar support
for your lower back.

You can keep it if you want.

Get a core. Do a sit-up.

I don't need that.

I did want to say,

thanks for holding down
the place while I was gone.

I heard you did a great job.

Thank you. I enjoyed it.

I can tell. You practically
moved into the place.

Well, I'll, um, leave you to it.

Well, Dia, looks
like this is it.

You got fired, too?

N-No. I-I'm just...

Then what do you want
a tearful goodbye for?

Y'all deserve each other.

See you next week.

Very good. I'm here.

Why?

Well, Greg said that y'all
needed some teachers,

so here I am.

Yeah, but that was only
for if we were suspended,

which we were not.

But you were there.

Ohh.

Yeah, so I was actually
kind of looking forward

to having some time off.

And secretly, I would
have loved sitting at home

catching up on the
Kate Hudson show.

Oh, I just love it when they come
dancing down the hallway. Jennifer.

So we figured, you know,
since Tariq's here, hey...

Alright, y'all,
my name is Tariq,

but you can call me
Mr. Coach Temple.

I'm gonna be real
up front with y'all.

I don't remember
nothing that I learned

before the age of 12, okay?

So I need somebody
here to tell me

how to craft a text
message to my landlord

asking for a rent reduction.

Real quick with
the hands. Come on.

Don't hurt yourself.
Where they at?