Original subtitles

The overworld, the biggest sandbox in the universe,

is full of epic tales, millions and billions of them.

Well, guess what?

This one is all mine.

My name is Steve.

And as a child, I yearned for the mines.

But it didn't really work out.

Go on, get out of here!

So I did a terrible thing.

I grew up.

Yep, that's me.

Same shirt, same pants.

The only thing missing was my soul.

What was I doing with my life?

I wasn't meant to sell doorknobs.

And then one day, I remembered something.

That's right, the mines.

So I geared up to dig deeper and find out what I'd been missing.

And this time, I was unstoppable.

Head fake!

My moment had finally come.

I could just taste the adventure.

So I mined my brains out until I found two mysterious artifacts,

this thingy and that cool thingy.

And when I put those two thingies together, you guessed it.

It opened a portal to another world, the overworld.

This place blew my mind.

I'd never seen anything like it.

No!

Whoa!

Turns out it was the place I'd been looking for my whole life,

a world where anything you can imagine, you can create.

This is my first house, my second house,

and my third house made entirely of sheep's wool.

Pink house!

Life was good, except at night, which

happens about every 20 minutes.

There was times like these I wished I had a friend.

And then I heard it, the howl of companionship.

Actually, it was a wolf that wanted to eat me.

So I tamed him with a crusty femur bone.

Yeah!

Hoo-hoo!

Atta boy!

Dennis, be like a scratchy scratch on a naris.

Dennis and I were inseparable.

We did everything together.

Woo-hoo!

We built endless masterpieces.

[DOG BARKING]

The more I built, the better I got.

Dennis, check it out!

Welcome to Steve's!

Hoo-hoo!

Yeah!

Lucky for me, Candace loved to party.

And cows!

Life was perfect, and the years simply flew by.

[DOG BARKING]

[SIGHS]

Until one day, I came across some strange ruins,

and a conveniently placed chest.

Ha-ha!

Flint and steel.

Whoa!

Woo-hoo!

Dennis!

No, Dennis.

[CRASH]

[SCREAMING]

Turns out, we just opened a portal

to a totally new dimension, the Nether.

There was no joy or creativity at all,

just a mindless lust for gold.

Dennis!

These piglin brutes had mined this realm into oblivion,

led by Mount Gosha, the evil piglin sorceress

who ruled the place.

Who are you, and why are you so round?

Leave the dark!

Take me instead.

No, thanks.

I'll take both of you in that orb.

Let's get one thing straight.

Where I come from, we call this a cube.

Susan!

Mount Gosha had finally got what she'd always wanted,

the orb of dominance, the most powerful cube-shaped orb

in the entire universe.

Listen up, you pigs.

With this orb, I will pillage the overworld,

and all that's gold will be ours!

[LAUGHTER]

I couldn't let this happen.

The overworld had saved me, and now I had to try to save it.

We have to stop her, Dennis.

So we escaped and stole back the orb.

The roundling got away.

Find him and bring me that orb!

Hurry, Dennis.

Take this to Earth.

Follow my set to 149 Hollyoath Drive.

You got that, boy?

Good boy.

You're the last hope for this world!

Now run!

Go, boy!

Run!

Free up, maggot!

You got this, Dennis!

I love you, hell!

Run!

Get off of me, you idiot!

Dennis was a hero that day.

He ran like the wind.

I didn't know if I'd ever see him again,

but we had a world to save.

So he ran all the way back to my house on Earth

and hid the most powerful object in existence

under my waterbed.

As long as the orb stays hidden, the overworld will be safe.

Wait a second.

Putting it under my waterbed's a horrible plan!

I'm running out, I'm on my knees.

Been working so hard to fill my needs.

In the late 1980s, Garrett Garrison took the gaming world by storm,

becoming the undisputed champion of the hit arcade game,

"Hunk City Rampage."

With a grind!

His mastery of this two-player co-op shocked the world.

You know time is come

So don't miss me when I die

His effective use of the garbage toss move earned him the nickname

"The Garbage Man."

Pretty soon he became the envy of the gaming world

after landing a lucrative deal with Sizzler.

All I want is a storm

One thing's for sure...

This kid had it all.

You heard the Garbage Man, Garrison?

No autographs.

Have a nice day.

You know time is come

You're gonna miss me when I die

No, don't miss me when I die

No, don't miss me when I die

Whoo! Yeah! Super cool!

Garrett, the Garbage Man, to what do we owe this pleasure?

Pleasure? Think I come to storage auctions for fun?

I'm a businessman, Darrell, an investor.

Well, I'm about to shovel some coal into your choo-choo trade.

You're gonna love this next unit.

It's got a water bed.

It's got some pickaxes.

It's got a huge can of mixed nuts.

It's got an array of unisex turquoise blouses.

That sounds terrible.

I think it's also got a 1978 Atari Cosmos.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1978 Atari Cosmos?

That's why they say they're here.

Those things are worth the frickin' fortune.

Heck, yeah, they are.

Bro, if you make this happen for me,

I will strongly consider hanging out with you.

You serious, bro?

Yep.

Two big buffaloes like us out there in the wild.

We're in unisex turquoise blouses.

Oh, boy, that's gonna cause a commotion.

The ladies aren't gonna know what.

Listen, if you can keep the hammer press under on me,

I'll make all your weird fanboy dreams come true, okay?

Two loose cannons.

We're in turquoise blouses.

Yep.

Let's do it.

Yeah, we got $500. $500 over here.

We got $500. We got $600.

Do we have $600?

We got $600 over here.

Oh, come here. $700.

We got $700.

We got $700 here.

We got $800 over here.

We got $850.

Do we hear $850?

Do we hear $850 over here?

Do we hear any more?

Do we hear 900, 900, 900 going once, 900 going twice,

and 900 going three times and sold to hometown hero,

Garrett the garbage man Garrison, for $900.

I wouldn't cash that for about six months.

What?

Yeah.

I'm the papa, cosmos.

Whoo!

There. Where is it?

I'm sorry. I didn't check the box.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Where's the employee?

Wait, no, a toy!

That does not mean you can trash this unit!

I'm up against it, man.

Oh, no.

My store, my wrists aren't what they used to be.

I just...

I need to win, man.

I need to win.

When are you gonna stop looking for treasure inside a storage unit

and recognize that the real treasure is inside your heart?

Let's roll, everyone.

This man has no respect for the storage community.

Now.

We'll go to the sound of pouring rain

But all it says is you cry, they call my name

(GUNSHOT)

Remember yesterday

What the hell did I do?

Without that I'd stand to say

Oh, no!

Oh, man!

What the frick?

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(BEEPING)

Look, Chugless was not my first choice either,

but it was Mom's dying wish for us to live here.

Or at least that's how I interpreted it.

Yeah, I read something online.

This place sucks.

Anyways, rent is super low, and I've got a full-time gig here,

so it's not really an offer we're gonna turn down right now.

Yeah, I get it.

Look, I think you're really gonna like it here.

Oh, what's going on with that dude?

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

Oh, my gosh, Henry, we're in Chugless!

Say hi to Chuggy the Chip!

All right, this is the new neighborhood.

When was this house built?

It's so nice to meet you!

Yeah, nice to meet you.

Your new bosses sent you this.

Oh!

Yeah, people love working at a potato chip factory.

Yeah, well, I'm running their socialist for a little bit.

I said I'd get their father recount past 75.

Nice! You must be Henry.

Nice to meet you, I'm Don.

All right, why is there an alpaca hanging out of your car?

Well, real estate's not my only hustle.

I also do some mobile zoo stuff on the side.

In who? I got a run. Call me if you need anything.

Also, uh, I'm really sorry about your mom.

It's really brave what you're doing.

I hope you know that.

Thank you.

(SCREAMING)

Chill out, man, I'm coming!

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(SIGHS)

Henry! Breakfast is ready!

(DOOR SLAMS) I'm coming!

Check it out.

I made you mom's signature tater-top breakfast pizza.

So you can hand out slices on your first day.

I thought you wanted me to seem normal.

I do! I'm just trying to help you out.

I got you some body spray.

Signature scents are huge here.

Velvet mischief?

You're gonna wanna spray it and then walk into it.

Don't be too direct. It's really powerful.

Okay.

Love you.

Love you too.

This smells like banana bread and poo.

Your store's really cool.

Yeah, I know.

Looking for anything in particular?

No, I'm just checking some stuff out.

Non-committal. Classic loser mentality.

I can help.

Starting a mentorship program for people who wanna win at the game of life.

50 bucks an hour.

Cool. How do you actually win at life?

That's literally the answer I charge money for.

(bag crinkles)

Tots. It's with the breakfast pizza.

My sister made it. I'm supposed to hand out slices at school to make friends.

A little desperate for day one, don't you think?

I also noticed that you're wearing velvet mischief.

It's a wonderful cologne, and I strongly believe

that every young man should have his own signature sent.

I didn't think I applied very much.

Listen, I'm gonna give you a hot garbage dip.

Friendship is like a puzzle.

Sometimes you think you need lots of pieces to be

cool, and sometimes it's just one piece to be cool.

And people will be like, "That's not a puzzle. That's a picture."

And they have a right to speak, too. Any questions?

Yeah, quite a few, actually.

Listen, kid, the point is, there's no "I" in team, but there are two in winning.

Okay, well, I gotta go to school.

Whatever, nerd. Just leave the pizza.

(bell rings)

All right. Let's put this name tag on.

Uh, why does it have an exclamation point?

Oh, Henry, we're just so thrilled to have you.

You know, you're the first student to enroll here ever

since that article came out about the school rankings.

Anyway, I'm Vice Principal Marlene, and I'm an open book.

You probably heard that my husband Clemente recently divorced me.

And to be honest, I expected it to hurt more than it does.

You know, the fire went out on our marriage

20 years ago, but we stuck it out for the dogs.

Okay, let's get you to your first class.

(bell rings)

Good morning. Just a little something about myself.

I teach gym. I teach art.

Financially, I'm living in a nightmare, okay?

I wouldn't wish my life on my worst enemy.

Last year, I claimed $4,000 on my tax return.

So in the summer, I do clams and oysters down by the airport.

But most of my money is tied up in a drone kiosk at the mall.

Okay, today we're going to do a still life.

One orange, one banana.

Let's get after it, people.

(music) I wake up at 7.00 a.m.

I wait to see another day in

Cause I want to believe that something could change

I want to believe that something could change

What is this? Don't you know what a still life is?

It means you just draw the thing.

Do the assignment next time.

That jetpack would never work.

It's kind of foolproof, actually. It's just math.

My dad said math has been debunked.

Check it out. New kid thinks he's a rocket scientist.

I'd love to be a rocket scientist.

So prove it.

(music)

(music)

All right. Count us down, guys.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Okay, so I know that we're all very excited about the new rebrand.

But I don't think you should call your party bags salt sacks.

(music) (music)

Shaggy!

(music)

I was never here, okay?

Oh, shit.

Well, the good news is nobody died.

I'm sorry, okay? It was an accident.

This could be grounds for expulsion, Henry.

I need you to call your guardian.

(sigh)

Hey, Mr. Garbage Man, it's Henry.

The kid with the tater tock breakfast pizza.

Oh, yeah.

I have a weird fever to ask.

Could you come to my school and pretend to be my uncle?

No way. I don't do that stuff anymore.

I have 26 bucks.

(music)

Hi, I'm Henry's uncle.

You? The trash bag?

It's actually garbage, man.

Garbage, man, huh?

Oh, you can bag me up and take me to the curb any time.

But you got to bungee the lid,

because I got a lot of raccoons in there.

Whoever divorced you is a complete idiot.

(music)

(roaring)

(music)

I just don't get it. It should have worked.

The math is right, but it probably just cost my sister her job.

Oh, wow.

Now, you're super creative.

Hey, uh, since you're going to juvie,

mind if I get this flyer back?

Paper don't grow on trees,

and I'm not really allowed in the kinkos anymore.

Well, you can have my book, too,

because I'm done with it.

(door slams) (music)

So what's this stupid junk?

Who cares?

I bought some new-age bull crap.

I could let it go for, like, $950.

I wonder what it does.

(music)

Hey, instructions.

Never, under any circumstances,

find the orb and crystal.

Okay.

(music)

(roaring)

Uh, wait.

Do not follow this orb,

even if you're a struggling business owner

and need a ton of cash fast,

because there's loads of treasure down here.

Hey, hey, hey, dude, dude,

it feels like I want to go somewhere.

What?

Ahh!

Sorry. I tried everything.

I didn't know who else to call.

No, it's okay. What's going on?

Henry's missing. I tried the school.

I tried his phone a million times.

He's not answering.

He was supposed to be home hours ago.

I thought he's still paying attention

for blowing up Chuckie the Chip.

That was him?

Give me a phone.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, I can't believe this.

We're here for one day,

and he's already the town villain.

Got him. He's fine.

He's just planning an abandoned mineshaft.

(squeals)

What?

Come on. I'll drive.

You can feed Mr. Scribbles this blessed kid

if you want to keep that pretty face of yours.

Hop in.

Okay.

You go first. I'll come here six.

Yeah, yeah. I got you.

Danger. Whatever.

(squeals)

(squeals)

Whoa.

Henry! Oh, gosh!

What are you doing down here?

Who's this guy?

He's my new mentor.

Who, me? No.

I'm sorry. What?

Hey, guys?

Guys!

It's pulling me, guys.

(screaming)

Henry!

(screaming)

Henry! Let go of that thing!

You're going to help me?

(screaming)

(sighs)

(screams)

(groans)

What?

(screams)

Oh, man! My butt! My butt!

(groans)

(dramatic music)

Well, we're not 9-0 anymore.

I think this is Wyoming.

Wait, who are you again?

Garret the garbage man Garrison.

Game of the year 1989.

Whatever. I'd better think about it.

(laughing)

What the heck?

(buzzer)

If that's what I think it is,

it could be our first quest giver.

(grunts)

I'll do the talking.

All right! Yeah!

Henry! You hear me?

Come on back here! What are you doing?

(grunts)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(growls)

Listen up, you swine!

If you can't find more gold,

I'll just send you to the overworld to Zumba Find!

(grunts)

You!

What are you making?

Come closer. It's all right.

Come on. I'm not gonna bite you.

Aw, how pretty!

But how will that help me find more gold?

Oops!

What?

Well, looky what we have here.

(laughing)

Our time has come.

(screaming)

Rambling!

Markosha!

Was I unclear when I said no one was to waste time on art or leisure?

(grunts)

Oh, the orb has returned.

It can't be.

Dennis?

You stole it from me, and now you will retrieve it.

It would be a privilege, my liege.

They're going to unbind you now.

Don't do anything stupid.

Of course not! You can trust this little dungeon butt.

Let me just sneak it back!

Go ahead. Strike me down.

My piglins will make a meal of your beautiful wolf.

How do I know you're telling the truth?

There's only one way to find out.

The orb for your little dog's life.

(screaming)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(grunts)

Ola, wise quest giver.

We humbly seek gold.

Give us a quest that will lead us to your treasure load.

Garbage man, I work in the animal field,

and I am telling you that thing doesn't understand a word you're saying.

Shh!

We're talking.

Sorry about that. What were you saying?

Hey, come on, Henry. We're going home.

(screaming)

(screaming)

That feel quick to anyone else?

Yeah!

All right, everyone.

Stay calm.

Laje.

Free garbage tip.

Fear is just weakness.

Hijacking your body's cockpit.

What in the hell?

And if that happens,

you can save Vio-con DS to your body plane's navigation system.

What?

Yeah, garbage man isn't speaking English or Espanyol.

What am I doing here?

(screaming) (screaming)

(screaming)

Garbage! I'm sorry, Dead Death (screaming)

Henry!

Whoa.

No!

We gotta stop him from him!

We need to go right now!

Henry, come on!

It's not a good time to stop!

Henry, hurry up!

(screaming) How's he doing this?

I don't know, but it might work.

This way!

Faster!

You guys, you gotta let me go!

Go, go, go!

Don't you slow down!

You can do this!

Keep going, Henry, come on, come on!

Quickly!

That's it, that's it, Henry, come on!

(snoring)

(snoring)

(snoring)

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!

(screaming)

(snoring)

Henry!

(snoring) (screaming)

No!

Run, run!

Help me, please!

(screaming)

Garrett!

Get over here!

(screaming)

Garrett!

What are we doing?

I'm right behind you!

Help me!

Get over here!

What?

Stop him!

Oh no!

That can't be good!

You idiot, run!

Watch out, my guy!

(screaming)

Open the door!

(screaming)

(screaming)

Hurry!

(screaming)

(screaming)

Come on, move, push that bigger looking box hand!

(screaming)

Oh man.

Oh boy!

Oh!

You're moving--Oh!

Hey!

Oh man.

Oh man!

(screaming)

(screaming)

Oh!

(grunting)

(grunting)

(grunting)

(screaming)

(screaming)

(screaming)

(screaming)

(screaming)

(screaming)

(screaming)

(screaming) (crash)

(grunting)

(growling)

(upbeat music)

Let me try it.

(screaming)

(grunting)

(grunting)

(grunting) (screaming)

(grunting)

(screaming)

(crash)

(screaming)

(grunting)

(screaming)

(laughing)

Taste it!

(crash) (crash)

(screaming)

(screaming)

Sneak attack!

(grunting)

Do my little boobie

So I'll give you what you do, sinker

I'll give you what you try

I'll be shooting that shot like a ninja

(crash) Huh?

(laughing)

(screaming)

(laughing)

Who are you?

I am Steve.

(growling)

Who are you people?

Where's Dennis?

Who is--we don't know any Dennis.

Then how'd you get that?

Hey, relying, Machacho, is my property.

Do you even know what that is?

It's the orb of dominance.

It's a cube.

Okay.

Ha-ha!

You people seriously have no idea what you're dealing with.

Hand it over and no one gets hurt.

No way!

Okay, we need this thing to get home.

I hate to take a big fat dumparoo on your plans,

but you can't get home.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean we can't get home?

Not without the earth crystal.

You mean that little boxy thing?

Garbage man busted it!

Nuh-uh.

Listen, Henry, why don't you hold this?

You got those good photo vibes, kid.

I got photo vibes.

Are you implying that we're stuck here?

Yes!

Unless you get the earth crystal, it's your only way home.

There's only one way you could ever replace it,

at the Woodland Mansion, but going there would get you all killed.

Well, so it's staying here.

Fair enough.

Listen, I can get you home, but then you gotta give me that orb.

So what are you gonna do with it?

None of you concerned!

So, what do you say? Do we have a deal?

He did just kill like 20 zombies.

Psh, more like 15, but okay.

All right, Steve, under two conditions.

One, always address me because I'm the leader.

Two, if you double-cross us, I will crack

your cabasa with my butt cheeks like a walnut.

This guy is such a toolbag.

I'm so sorry. We just met this man, and he's not the leader.

Hmm.

Well, it looks like Dr. Swollenstein here just got himself a deal.

Oh, my gosh.

All right.

First, we need to load up on some gear or we're all gonna die.

Let's go to Midport Village.

This guy's lost his mind.

(train horn)

(train horn)

(groans)

(groans)

(screams)

Oh, no. Not again.

Oh, I am so sorry.

Oh, my God. Are you all right?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Are you all right?

Your head is huge.

(groans)

You're not gonna sue me, are you?

Because everyone wants to sue me once I hit them with my Jeep Grand Cherokee.

(groans)

Oh, my. How about this?

What if I just take you to dinner?

Would you like to go to dinner?

(groans)

(dramatic music)

(door opens)

(door closes)

Here it is!

Midport Village.

I got a secret stash of elite loot that'll help us survive the Woodland Mansion.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Who are these guys?

Oh, these dudes? They're the villagers.

They're total pacifists and vegetarians.

If you don't bug them, they won't bug you.

They just like to chill, trade, and eat buttloads of bread.

They love crushing a loaf.

So they built all this?

Not most of it, but the good stuff you see?

That's all, Steve.

(door closes)

Whoa. See some kind of king?

No.

That's a legend.

Kid, anything you can dream about here, you can make.

Zero limits. You know what I'm talking about.

That was your tower, right?

Yeah.

Pretty killer for a first build.

(screams)

Relax. It's just an iron golem, local security force.

But they're a bunch of big softies.

Unless you start messing with the villagers. Don't ever do that.

This place makes no sense.

Come with me.

Yo, I need protein like Prato.

I got just the place, buddy.

Uh-oh.

You hear that?

That's the sound of sizzling.

Mm-hmm.

Smell that smell.

La-la-la-lava.

Ch-ch-ch-chicken.

Steve's lava chicken, yeah, as tasty as hell.

Ooh, mama sitter, now you're ringing the bell.

Crispy and juicy, now you're having a stack.

Ooh, super spicy, it's a lava attack.

(door opens)

(water running)

I have a small business too.

The one thing I try to do is not have my jingle suck butt.

(screams)

Free young loser.

Pass the bird, jerky.

I'm not a little wimp like big Steve here.

I crave heat, and I crave pain.

DARREN, WAIT!

Hear my words, that chicken was just cooked in hot lava.

Let it cool down, man.

(water splashing)

Mm-hmm.

(snorts)

(snorts)

(snorts)

Not bad.

(whimpers)

Garbage man, you're a big time idiot.

(explosion)

(screams)

What is it?

What?

(growls)

General Chuggaus, get over here.

(growls)

(thunder rumbles)

(screams)

(thunder rumbles)

(growls)

(coughs)

Hey, Melgosia, what's going on?

Your old dungeon buddy, Steve, has betrayed us.

Well, that's a bummer.

The orb is with four roundlings.

My spies tell me he has taken them to his lava chicken shack.

No way! I love that place!

La-la-la-lava!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-chicken!

Shut up!

Take your finest warriors,

bring me that orb, and kill the roundlings!

So, like, you want me to end his life or whatever?

Are you serious?

What do you think I'm talking about?

Okay.

I was just kind of confused there for a second.

(groans)

Take us near the water so you don't zombify.

Um, Your Majesty,

I don't think this is going to be enough to go around.

Deal with it! No worries.

All right, drink up, guys.

You don't want to zombify up there,

but just tiny steps, okay?

Huh.

Okay, so how do we find this woodland mansion thing?

Over the mountains, into the dark forest,

right beyond the massive red shrooms.

Massive red shrooms? Mm-hmm.

Big old red ones.

We need to find a real map, Steve.

This place is dangerous,

and I need to get my brother out of here.

Well, it seems like he's having a pretty good time.

Look, your brother has a gift. You know that, right?

You should let him explore it.

Creativity in this world is key to survival.

Okay, well, in the real world,

things are a little bit different.

Creative kids get picked last for a gym,

they sit at the bummer lunch table,

and they get bullied.

[chuckles]

Don't I know it.

Do you even realize what he did back home?

He blew up chugging the chip.

Maybe I belong in this world.

Henry, that's not what I meant.

That's not what I was saying at all.

Just so you know,

I'm more of a sister to Hank than he'll ever be.

Yeah.

It's me, kid.

You okay?

Fine.

Look, I found one of these big-headed-looking dudes

that sells maps.

Looks legit. Come on.

Welcome to the stash.

TNT.

Firework rockets.

Also good for propulsion.

Boots of swiftness.

Diamond armor, full set.

And blades for days.

Everything will need to make it to Woodland Mansion.

Whoa.

Focus lab, bro.

Look, but don't touch.

Those are some of my favorite treasures.

What's this junk?

That is an ender pearl.

Teleports you to wherever you throw it.

Yeah, right.

No!

Ah!

Oh, God.

What the--

And that was the only one I had.

No, Biggie.

Almost died fighting an enderman for it.

Come with me.

This is a crafting table.

Here's how it works.

You place these elements in different patterns,

and--

Cabin!

You got yourself a sweet blade.

You want to see a blade?

I'll show you a blade.

Yeah!

Never.

Caduce!

Ah.

That's okay, bud.

Buckchuckets are useful here.

Yeah, they're cool, Garrett.

They're like nunchucks.

Yeah, I know.

That's why I made them.

They're...

Buckchuckets.

Um, they're what?

Hey, can I try something else?

Absorrutantantly.

Bro, you had tots the whole time?

Yeah, sorry.

Ah!

It's a tot launcher.

Dude, you just took boring junk from the real world

to create something amazing that is next level.

Hank, get a plate with your tot launcher when you're done.

Yeah.

Sweet.

Hey, Steve, can I talk to you for a second?

Sure thing.

What's up?

You know that note you left with the orb?

One about the riches.

I read it.

Yeah.

There's riches everywhere.

Keep a fat stash of diamonds at the red stone mines.

So this treasure load is on the way to this mansion place.

Not really.

It's a major detour.

Plus, the mines can be perilous.

Well, we'll keep it simple for you, Steve.

No diamonds.

No orb.

You smell what I'm stepping in.

Good day.

We need a map to the Woodland Mansion.

We just need a map.

Matt.

It's done.

Something's going down.

[roaring]

All right, guys.

Just start trashing their produce.

Villagers hate that.

[roaring]

Who are these guys?

The piglins.

They must be after the orb.

Hey, Steve.

What's going on, dude?

Crap!

Shrungus.

I'm really sorry, but I have to unalive you and stuff.

Ah!

Malco should double-cross me.

We just need that orb thingy.

You know this guy?

Yeah, we used to get into some dungeon stuff.

He seems nice, but he's a killer.

Wow, you look good, bro-hammer.

You lose some weight.

Stand back, boys.

This pig is mine.

No!

I'm tired of you getting all the glory.

This pig is mine.

Hey!

Steve!

Steve!

No!

Oh!

This is time!

[grunting]

We have to get to Henry's.

I think we can take these guys.

[screaming]

Come on, let's do this!

Yeah, we got this!

[screaming]

[screaming]

Stop!

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming] [screaming] All right!

Nice moves, bro!

Sorry!

What's wrong?

[screaming]

No!

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

The party's over, bud!

Just give me the orb!

Let me tell you something!

Let me tell you something!

What?

[screaming]

Thanks, big guy!

Need some more!

What happened?

I saved your butt, that's what happened.

You can thank me later.

We gotta get to the rampart!

Follow me!

Henry!

Matt, we have to go now!

Don, I cannot leave him!

He's my entire family!

We need you alive!

Okay, we'll meet him back at the Woodland mansion.

We gotta go find him!

Matt, come on!

Follow me!

Garrett, what about Natalie?

We're here at the mansion!

[screaming]

Come on, run!

Oh!

Oh, great, now what?

Elitra wing suits!

Skitata!

Skitata!

Whoa!

Head for those mountains!

I thought we were going to the Woodland mansion!

Hey, don't talk back to your elders.

But--

Bye-bye.

[screaming]

Those things work right?

Absolutely.

Check it out!

I'm flying!

Yeah!

Good morning, SDS.

Wish me to see you later.

[screaming]

No!

I thought I grabbed three!

Wait for me!

Coming in hot!

No!

No way, dude!

Look over here!

Just relax, let my hips guide you.

It's the only way!

What?

[screaming]

Hey!

We'll have a better chance if we split up!

What?

Yeah!

[screaming]

Ah!

Ah, get off me!

Ah!

Get off me!

That's so--

[screaming]

Woo-ha!

Yeah!

Woo-hoo!

[laughing]

We got hot riders!

They're at three o'clock!

Ah!

I got you, buddy!

I got us boxed in!

Head for the tunnel!

We're not gonna fit!

We're too chunky!

We're gonna have to go nose to nose!

Full man sandwich!

What?

No, I'm not gonna do that!

I'm ordering you to make a full man sandwich!

Okay!

Yeah!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, I dropped it!

I did get it!

Woo-hoo!

Yeah!

Woo!

Dang it!

A lava bucket!

Okay!

Tighten up!

What?

There's still some negative space back there!

We both know it!

I'm trying to close the gaps!

Okay!

Now get ready!

I'm gonna squeeze for your safety!

I understand!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Yeah!

Ah-ha!

Yeah!

Woo-hoo!

Yeah!

Ah!

Ah!

Get off me!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Henry!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Don't worry!

I'm gonna push it on the phone with this water bucket!

Release!

Ah!

You couldn't really fight, Nat?

You were kicking butt!

Thanks!

I have no idea where it came from!

There he is!

Hey, get back here!

We need a map!

Of course we need a boat!

Okay, okay, uh...

Okay, hurry!

The map guy's flown away!

Boat magic!

Ah-ha!

Nat, that's the worst boat I've ever seen.

I'm sorry.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

Forget it!

Let's go!

Come on!

Ah-ha!

Ah-ha!

Ah-ha!

Ah!

Ah-ha!

Ah-ha!

No, thank you.

You know, I gotta tell you, I'm having a great time.

I recently got divorced from my husband Clemente,

and the main reason is, you know,

he didn't have any personality, you know?

And not like you.

Ah-ha!

You got some talking with you, buddy.

Hank and I want some answers.

Like, how are we gonna stop those pigs?

And why does my beard smell like gorgonzola?

Yeah, and who's that evil sorceress you were talking about?

Look!

The sorceress is a pigling queen called Nalgosha.

Those are her minions.

She rules over them in a dark hellscape called the Nether.

And I always keep a chunk of gorgonzola in my front pocket, okay?

Listen!

Nalgosha's path to darkness started the way these things often do.

During the semi-finals of the Nether's Got Talent.

Young Nalgosha always dreamed of being a world-class dancer.

Her moves were pretty out there.

No one in the Nether was ready for it.

It crushed her.

What did I tell you about all that dancing?

It's time for you to grow up!

I'm tired of you chasing your dreams.

Now take this axe and do find some goals.

There was such embarrassing dancing!

So from that day forward, she denounced all forms of creativity.

If she ever gets that orb, she'll block out the sun.

Netherwort will flourish.

This beautiful world and everything in it will wither and die!

And you were gonna give it to her?

Great idea.

I'm not gonna give it to her, but I need that orb for leverage.

I've gotta save Dennis.

Come.

The Woodland Mansion is just beyond the Redstone Mountains.

We can go over or through.

Whatever's fastest.

Through will be faster.

General Chungus!

You have failed me for the last time!

Yeah, I'm really sorry about that.

Ah! Bring out the beast!

What?

What do you mean you just have to put the brain in?

Well, yes, it's a big deal. Get it done!

Look, everybody knows it wasn't my best day.

But I'm really trying to set some new goals.

The Great Hawk!

My ultimate weapon.

There he is!

Ken Hen!

Wait, does this mean you're firing me?

Well done.

Now find the roundlings and bring me the oak!

We are so lost.

My one job was to protect Henry and I blew it.

I just promised my mom I'd never let anything happen to him.

I guess I'm just not cut out for this parenting stuff.

I wish I could have been a kid for a little bit longer, you know?

I just have that feeling like I could have done anything.

I hear you. Being a grown-up sucks.

You got all these responsibilities and you just stopped chasing your dreams.

Ow!

You think I like having 15 hustles?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold up, hold up.

Let's just calm down.

I think this one just needs some TLC.

Yeah? You like bones?

Oh, I bet you like bones. Yes, you do, yes, you do!

Aren't you a beautiful one? Yes, you are!

Yes, you are!

I cannot believe you just did that.

Wait.

Dennis?

Steve's Dennis?

Can you take us to him?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, Nat, I think this might be our way to the woodland mansion.

Let's follow that pooch!

Son of a biscuit, we found it!

Woo-hoo-hoo! Looky, looky here.

Welcome to the Redstone Mines.

You see that glowy stuff? That's Redstone.

It conducts energy. You can build some crazy contraptions with it.

Thought you said this was a diamond mine.

Easy, big dog, they're here.

But be careful. I set some booby traps a long time ago,

but I can't for the life of me remember where they are.

Oh!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Oh, Steve!

Ah!

Help me, please!

Oh, sorry!

Ha! Here it is! Thanks, Garrett.

Oh, yeah.

Yes, McDonald's.

Oh, that's what I'm talking about. Steve delivers the goodies.

Did you guys plan this?

I'm sorry, Henry.

Woo!

Yeah! I'm not--

Oh, yeah.

What the heck, man?

Overlax.

Now we could be in the mansion already.

She could be in danger.

Oh, no. Do you smell that?

Nothing.

Neither what?

What does that mean?

Ah!

The Great Hawk!

She finally put the brain in. Run for the minecarts!

Ah!

Hit it, Henry! Hit it!

Ah!

If memory serves, I've built a kick-ass safe room just up ahead.

Dang it! My torch blew out.

Why are we stopping?

Because we ran out of redstone. We're gonna need a boost fast.

What's that sound?

She's a loud gargar. We're totally safe.

Crap!

My creeper farm.

What the-- You gotta be kidding me!

What kind of idiot would breathe these things?

Ah!

Ah!

Up ahead, look!

We gotta get to the redstone rail!

Garrett, you have to do this mess. Get out and push!

Okay. Okay.

Go, Garrett! Go faster!

We're not gonna hit it!

Come on!

Come on, Garrett, you gotta go faster!

Stop slapping, Hank!

Get out of here!

Yeah! Yeah!

Garrett, get in!

He's right there!

Brandis!

I love you, Devish!

Woo-hoo!

Nice work, Gargar. Your little detour almost got us killed.

I'm a liar. You're so dramatic. You're still lying.

What's your problem, man? We didn't need those stupid diamonds.

I swear you were literally the most selfish person I've ever met.

Whatever. I need them. Okay?

I need the diamonds because I need the money because I'm broke.

You wouldn't know anything about that.

My life sucks, kid. Alright? I'm a frickin' loser.

There, I said it.

I know it looks like I got it all put together, right?

Smart, funny, bilingual.

El humble, tu un el fultos.

That's not the reality.

I'm not doing well.

I'm washed up, Hank, and I'm gonna lose everything.

And that's not the worst part.

I'm alone.

You weren't alone.

I was your friend.

I'm sorry about your finances.

Shut up, Steve.

Wow. I feel like you get me and you're an incredible listener,

and only people with emotional intelligence are good listeners.

You know, I just didn't think it was in the cards

that I would have another first date, ever, you know?

I want to have the guts to invite you over to my house for dessert.

Ha, ha, ha.

Are you finished?

No, I think he's Swedish.

But we're done with our meal.

There it is. The Woodland Mansion.

We're gonna get in there, get the Earth Crystal, and get you guys home.

Follow me!

Check this out.

Let's do this.

Pay close attention to Papa Steve.

The Woodland Mansion has three floors.

The first floor is loaded with fin-decaders.

Axe murderers, basically.

Why is it third floor? On the first floor, I'm very confused.

I was trying to make three floors, but I didn't have time to make like a dollhouse.

The second floor crawls with evokers.

They wield powerful dark magic.

This is the worst model I've ever seen.

Garrett, stop talking. We're trying to figure out a plan.

Bro, how long you been mad at me for?

I just got mad at you.

Please don't be mad at me for this, okay?

But I accidentally stole the orb while you were crafting.

We cool now?

You are literally the worst person in the entire world.

Guys! Both of you, eyes on my damn constraints!

Third floor, houses the loot chamber.

That's where the Earth Crystal is, but it's guarded by endermen.

Whatever you do, do not look them in the eye.

They'll fry your brains out.

Okay, well, I could build stairs to the second floor,

sneak in through the window, and snag the Earth Crystal.

That's a great idea, Hank.

But to pull it off, we're gonna need a pretty sweet diversion.

You know what can work on these guys? Sounds crazy.

Hit me.

Friendship is the wish you make

when you're blowing out the candles on your birthday cake!

Don't be a bully and don't be a bloop.

Time to put on your birthday suit.

Go Hank, go while we blow!

(ominous music)

(grunting)

(ominous music)

(screaming)

(panting)

(panting)

(gun firing)

(ominous music)

You gotta be kidding me.

You got this, Darkheart!

Reach down deep!

You're that sharkless kitten, I love ya!

What's going on, Steve?

It's some kind of sadistic vindicator fight club.

I've heard of these, but I've never seen one.

You want me to fight the chicken?

What?

It's a fight to the death, kid!

(ominous music)

(panting)

(crying)

(growling)

Chicken tracking.

(crying)

Watch out!

Keep him away from your face!

(crying)

Shuck him!

(crying)

(screaming)

(panting)

(screaming)

(crying)

(panting)

(screaming)

(crying)

(ominous music)

Finally.

(growling)

(panting)

(growling)

(growling)

(grunting)

(crying)

I'm sorry, little buddy.

You all fall for it, Garkar!

That baby's got the heart of a demon!

No, you're not a demon, are you?

You're a cute little bugger face.

Just gonna pat your little head.

(screaming)

You'll never be as cruel as me, Hank.

Just give up.

The overworld doesn't know you, Henry.

You neither do I.

This is all your fault, Henry.

Everything you do fails.

This is all your fault, Henry.

This stuff is trash, kid.

What the?

(screaming)

I'm coming!

Hang on!

(screaming)

Sneak attack!

(screaming)

(crying)

Hank, yeah.

I got you, Garkar.

Come on.

You saved my life.

That's what friends do, Garrett.

(screaming)

Hank, did you get the Earth Crystal?

Yeah, I got it.

Let's get out of this hellhole.

Come on!

I knew I'd find you, Dummies, here!

It's her!

Of course it's me, you fool!

I've been tracking your scent from two biomes away.

Check it out.

I even built me a new hog.

Now, go, sir!

Your reign is over!

You're wrong.

It's just beginning.

(grunting)

No!

No!

Kill them!

We have work to do.

Goodbye, Steve!

(laughing)

No!

They're gonna blow this bridge sky high!

Sorry, Hank.

What?

(screaming)

Yeah!

Slam tube!

(grunting)

Come on, Garrett, drop!

I can't, Steve!

Get him out of here!

Go, Hank!

Save your sister and get home!

Garrett, you don't have to do this!

Tell my story in song!

Keep it metal, keep it heavy.

Real instruments.

Besides,

I love the Wows.

I'm sorry, it's been too...

Get out of here!

(screaming)

Garbage sauce!

Okay.

No!

We're going down!

Race for impact!

(screaming)

(dramatic music)

(laughing)

Dennis?

Yes?

Dennis!

It's you, it's really you!

(laughing)

Oh, give it!

Oh, I love you, I love you, I love you!

Oh, how'd you find me?

He's one heck of a wolf.

He led us right to you guys.

Now I understand why you kept yourself so filthy

and smelly so Dennis could find you one day.

Is he okay?

He's fine, he's just resting.

Good, it's a pretty rough crash landing.

Wait a minute, where are we?

(laughing)

I wish Garbage Man was here to see this.

He would have loved your mushroom hut.

I think so too.

I was so afraid that I lost you.

I was so afraid that I lost you too.

I am really sorry about what I said.

And I'm really sorry about Garrett.

I'm only gonna say this once.

This thingy goes on top of that thingy.

Got it, Travis?

It's gonna make a real cool laser beam that'll darken.

Nevermind.

(dramatic music)

No, no!

The great charkening, it's begun.

Malgos is gathering all her forces.

She will destroy this land unless we go get that orb.

Well, what are we doing here?

Let's go fight some pigs.

I'm ready.

I'm done with those pigs.

Yeah, me too.

Let's do it for Gar Gar.

First we mine, then we craft.

Let's Minecraft!

One, two, three.

Team! Get the orb!

What are you saying?

Minecraft.

We should all say that on three.

One for gather, there's no time!

Show us what you got, Henry.

Okay, I got a plan.

Killer recipes.

We're gonna have to move fast.

Let's get to work.

First, we're gonna need some iron ingots.

(upbeat music)

Hell yeah!

And the boots of swiftness.

Time to light this place up.

Come on, boys.

Have a nice flight!

(explosion)

Come on, man!

(cheering)

I bet you do.

I bet you do.

We're also gonna need a ton of diamonds.

(upbeat music)

Show me what you got, Matt.

Whoa!

Yeah!

You want some, buddy?

We're ready.

Let's go save the overworld.

(roaring)

All right, my piggies.

Today, we take the overworld as ours.

Attack their villages, burn their homes

and their symmetrical farms.

All they have created, we destroy!

(roaring)

Well, what are you standing around for?

Get out of here.

Go on, bring me the gold!

(roaring)

Hurry, Henry!

(roaring)

(dramatic music)

Ha!

News flash!

Iron golems will not attack unless provoked!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

(roaring)

Real smooth, Travis!

(roaring)

(crashing)

(roaring)

You ready?

Let's do this.

(roaring)

(grunting)

Oh, for goodness sake!

What are you doing, you big block of meat?

Get down here and take care of those roundlings!

(roaring)

Ha ha ha ha!

(roaring)

How do you like import jobs?

(roaring)

Come on!

Oh ho ho ho!

Huh?

Okay, gosh.

Let's dance.

Bring it on!

(roaring)

It's the time!

Ha!

My diamond armor!

Make it tight!

(grunting)

Free it!

What is this, breakfast?

(grunting)

Get off of me!

Hurry!

The odds up there!

(roaring)

Do it, Henry!

I got this.

(roaring)

Go, Henry, go!

(roaring)

Hey, Captain Buckcrack!

I got something for you.

Get him, Dennis.

(roaring)

Whoo!

Take a bite out of that pig!

Dennis is hungry!

(roaring)

(roaring)

Henry!

No!

(roaring)

Ah, I got you, kid!

(screaming)

You're alive!

Yeah!

Between us, I use Steve's water bucket trick.

Pretty cool, huh?

Little bit.

Let's get this sort and go home.

(screaming)

All right, Hank, it's fireball time.

Grab that spear.

I want you to jab it in the tentacles.

Whoo, jab it!

Yeah!

How'd you learn how to do that?

Don't ask!

(screaming)

(screaming)

(roaring)

No!

What have you done?

Theo!

(roaring)

(crashing)

(roaring)

(crashing) (roaring)

(dramatic music)

It's good to see you, Garbus Meade.

(dramatic music)

You failed, witch.

The overworld lives on.

You too have fallen for the great lie.

You'll never be happy.

Deep down you know.

To hope, to dream, to create is to suffer.

You're right.

It is harder to create than to destroy.

That's why cowards tend to choose the deuce.

Ah.

Later, gauche.

Every minute knowing you has been a horror show

waste of time.

Wait, one more thing.

Come close there.

Do you have a little knife that you're gonna

try to stab me with?

No, I know, I'm too weak.

All right.

(screaming)

Come on.

Who is worth a shot?

Wait, wait, let me say one more thing.

Come closer.

No way.

No, really, it's about you.

Fine.

Lean down here.

(coughing)

You really are the worst.

Goodbye.

This isn't really, come back.

I don't even have a knife.

Where would I keep it?

Stay his head.

(dramatic music)

Hey.

You sure you wanna go back, Henry?

It won't feel like this.

There you got constraints, judgments, obstacles.

Yeah, I know.

But I'm gonna go make stuff anyway.

I like that.

You're a brave kid.

Steve, you still cool with this?

Yeah.

Come here, boy.

Of course I still love you.

That's why I think this is a good idea.

You changed my life.

(squeals)

It's time for you to go change hers too.

Go now, Dennis

Change Don's life, Dennis

Go on a journey and think of me

Dennis.

Go now, legendary wolf of my dreams

My doggy doggy doggy

My Dennis

I'll move

(sobbing)

If I would've known you could sing like that,

it would help me get past your smell.

Garrett, you are a truly bodacious warrior.

You're a really good friend.

I wish you'd come home with us.

Thanks, cool, but I don't have any friends my age.

You would make a great team.

Vayo con Dios.

It means goodbye, brother.

No, it doesn't.

Don't look at her.

It does.

No, it does not.

Yeah, it does.

Are you sure you don't wanna come back?

Yeah, I'm staying here.

I got a bunch more stuff I wanna build.

Why don't you bring some of that magic to the real world?

(explosion)

Screw it.

I'm coming with.

Turns out, if you're brave enough,

you can make the real world your overworld.

Garrett finally leveled up

and his score became the hotspot.

Together, we all joined forces to create the new hit game,

Block City Battle Buddies.

Yeah, we're still in the beta phase,

working out a few bugs, but let me tell you,

life is pretty perfect.

(upbeat music)

I'm not staying out of sight

I'm not so far laughing

Never ever looking back

Cause I'm feeling right

Dawn finally got to ditch her real estate job.

She and Dennis brought the party wherever they went.

Natalie decided to share her new skill set

with the real world.

Survival mode, self-defense.

(upbeat music)

The streets of Chugless have never been safer.

You get them Natalie.

And Henry, he finally got that jet pack to work.

(cheering)

I'm feeling right

I'm with my friends with me

I feel right

Like a film from down the aisle

I feel right

Like a red skull, a dragon

I feel right

With the power of the world inside

I feel right

Dragon (upbeat music)

(bell ringing)

I know how much you love bread.

(laughing)

Marlene, your ex-husband's here.

He said it was an emergency.

Well, you tell him.

I've got nothing to say to him.

You gotta be kidding me, Marlene.

This is the guy.

Too late Clemente.

You had your chance.

She's right, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right, you're right.

She's right, Clemente.

You totally blew it.

And now I reap the rewards of your mistake.

You see, when Marlene's Jeep Grand Cherokee ran me over,

I was struck by a love so powerful,

it transcended the barriers of conventional speech.

Now I speak human and she speaks villager.

(laughing)

Uh-oh.

Marlene, you're right, Marlene.

Marlene, ever since we met last night,

I wanted to say, would you marry me?

Yes, yes.

A thousand times yes.

(upbeat music) Let me introduce you to your regrets

You start messing with me

You won't forget what you see

(somber music)

(knocking)

Hi, sorry to bug.

I just, I used to live here and I'm Steve.

Oh, is this about that chest in the attic?

Oh yeah, I'm so glad that's still around.

Hey, you wanna come in?

I'm Alex, by the way.

Alex, great to meet you.