Original subtitles

[music]

I know what you're thinking.

What's a handsome fellow like yourself doing in a place like this?

Well, I thought myself the same thing from time to time.

But here's the deal.

This is college.

And there's certain rules you have to live by if you want to survive.

See, a couple years ago, somebody took a budding young freshman

and turned them into the beautiful flower you see before you today.

Well, now the student has become the master.

I think it's high time I pass this wisdom on down the line.

One of the first rules to survive in college?

Never pass out in a public place.

I'm just going to wake up naked and confused.

And that should be an easy one, but we all learned at a different level.

Don't we be a guy?

That's all right.

There's hope for you yet.

Clean yourself up and give me a call.

Oh, I will forgot.

What am I doing here?

Rule number two of surviving college.

Every real college student needs a good go-to dive bar.

Something to do during the day.

I don't know if I've explained that one to you.

Do I?

Keep her real, Chief.

What?

What?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Now, now, now, now.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

To another year of Heaven, if any boy.

Oh, this is heaven.

Look at me.

Some people surprise.

I see me.

Woo!

Oh.

So what have you been up to, Finster?

Uh, I was trying to find the light switch and this otherwise

very, very dark world.

How about you, Spitty?

Just serving dicks for shitty ass tips.

So where we station this year and do not tell me the dorms again.

He dorms again.

But that's where the action's at.

You know?

It's like living in a sweaty orgy all the time.

I've been over there yet, though, because I could not

start my year off without seeing your--

Oh, beautiful face.

Mm, that's so sweet.

Just hoping I get a decent roommate this year.

Not like last year or the year before that.

It was horrible.

Thank you.

No one's got that much bad luck, Chloe, my friend.

This year's going to be a good year.

I'm going to feel it.

Thanks, Slut, for the beer.

Anytime.

Is that thanks a lot of things, Slut?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Welcome, Freshmen to False City University, home of the beavers.

This is an exciting time in your lives and will be a great

opportunity for you to learn and meet new people.

In this orientation session, we will tour the campus

residence halls, visit our state-of-the-art brand new student

center, and, oh, no, you again?

Look here, everyone.

Now, this is what you do not want to end up like.

This is your classic, under-achieving drug snipper.

[LAUGHTER]

You look at me.

The whole land of gentlemen where the male penis should be.

Obviously, this man is an imposter.

Get that red.

Now, all the female freshmen, I'd like you to join me in the showers.

Set you to back down.

You know what.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Well, here you go, boy.

Your new playground.

Sure wish I was back in college again.

Come on, son.

Now, no time for games.

Now, let's get it going.

You're going to make some friends sometime.

What's the point I have in all those brains?

If you ain't got no friends to show them off, too.

That's what it's all about, boy.

All right now.

You make your mom and I proud.

How many kids your age have an opportunity like this?

I'm sure there's a lot of really nice students around here

that you can--

[SCREAMING]

What the hell?

That young man is a recluse.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You stay far the hell away from jokers like that, boy.

You hear in me?

For quiet out loud.

Well, I'll get out of your hair now.

Don't embarrass my little college man.

You run off to that orientation thing you have yours now

and check out all the fine sights this place has to offer.

And show this campus what you're made of.

Case for two.

That's more like it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Not you again.

What are you like 30 now?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I hate you, what?

Oh, hey kid, really have time to play with you right now,

but there's a street right outside.

Why don't you go ahead and play in there?

I feel like a real-life game of Frogger, huh?

Okay, we'll see you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, keep it down!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Try to do stuff in here.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hi there, Finn.

Look what I have for you.

That's not mine.

Don't even look like me.

This is your new roommate, Meet Toby.

I was hoping you'd be able to show him around

and give him a big beaver welcome.

Wait, what?

You kids play nice.

No jumping on the bed fun, boys.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, you gotta be shit with me.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You know, once upon a time, I was a scared freshman, too.

I'm telling a man by the name of Kenny Miller.

The munder is winged.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[music]

[music]

[music]

I have been looking for my own scared freshman

past my knowledge on two and you look like the kind of fellow who could use any kind of help

that anyone would offer.

So you just said?

Uh huh.

Alright, that's great man.

Sounds good.

This is gonna be fun.

Uh, where do we start?

Uh, hmm.

Roll number eight.

Bang anything that moves.

I mean, look out there.

White chick.

Black chick.

Skinny chick.

Ball chick.

Chicken wheel chair.

Bang 'em all.

Plow through 'em like they're freshly laid snow.

You know what?

And get weird too, man.

If you saw in all those CineMax movies when you were a kid.

'Cause let me tell you something.

These girls, they've got no parents, they've got no authority figures, and if they've

got a boyfriend, they're gonna cheat on 'em 'cause that's what you do in college.

Why are you doing this?

Because you gotta get it out of your system now because, man, one day you are gonna wake up

married with a kid and a mortgage and something wrong with your colon, and you are gonna

wonder to yourself why?

Why didn't I take the opportunity?

And it's gonna take every ounce of strength in your hand, not to plunge that knife into your neck.

So do it now.

And stop staring at me like that 'cause you're freaking me out.

Then, what are you doing here?

What are you doing on campus?

I haven't seen you since last year since that party where you fell off the diving board

and hit that kid in the head.

You know what?

Why don't you stay here?

Watch Daddy.

Watch him work.

Good man.

What are you guys talking about?

I'm talking about power tools.

I don't know painters.

Yeah?

You like both of those, right?

Yeah?

I bet I can't see something.

But how'd you darken that?

Well, I'll take my run here, Miss Chloe.

Yes, I will, right here in front of me.

It's itching on Mr. Finn as Finn.

Hey.

He's just having himself stringed bad luck, so don't you mind him, nine?

Is this what you two do when I'm not here?

It's a little more...

No more accents!

It's not raising anybody's mood.

But that is.

Oh, but he's having a shitty day.

Is thinly tied our pants?

Enough!

Huh?

It is so hard to find good, healthy stands.

You own this place really?

Would you love me forever if I said it was?

Sweetheart, you couldn't last a hot second with me.

Oh, got him!

Yeah!

I'm sorry about that.

You got ourselves a firecracker here, ladies and gentlemen.

This, uh...

Jenny, call me Jenny.

Jenny, that is beautiful.

Can I call you Jenny?

Jenny, I am always up for competition.

I'm a competition.

I'm a competition.

I'm a competition.

Okay.

I'm a competition.

I'm a competition.

All right, Finn.

Why don't we start with the game at pool first?

And then we go from there.

Shut the shot.

Shut the shot.

Give me shot.

Yeah, yeah.

I think her ovaries might be showing.

Nice.

Oh.

Let's get out here before I have to buy me a new pool table.

Okay.

Okay.

What?

Thanks for the laughs, kids, but I have got something better.

Yeah, you got the thing part, right?

You're going to wrap it, champ, or you're going to be getting fucked in more ways than

one tonight.

I plan on it, except for the condom bullshit.

Later, fuckers.

Hey, see you've got some friends.

Hey, don't fuck.

Watch where I'm going, jerk-wadd.

Keep walking pussy.

Fucking bitch.

All right, bros, keys.

You ready to drink your faces off?

Yeah!

Fuck it.

Fuck it.

Fuck it.

Fuck it.

Good.

Mm.

I-- I got a pee.

Where's your bathroom?

Oh, you go upstairs on the right, and then just meet me in three or five.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck.

Oh.

Hey.

Hey, buddy, you see decided to come back.

God, listen.

She is not going to bang me as long as you are here.

You're a good guy, right?

Listen.

All about friends, help friends, huh?

I want you to be good, buddy.

I'm just--

Just hook me up.

[GASPING]

[GASPING]

Okay.

Okay.

Hey, stud, did you start without me?

You see this, buddy?

How could I not?

[GASPING]

Okay.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Okay.

Yeah, that was crazy.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

All right.

Here's another.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's cool.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Wow.

Look at the cat shit out.

My man.

So I'm gonna acquire the new efficiency center on going.

Wait.

You said what now?

What's new, Fincer?

Let me guess.

This year's roommates the worst one yet.

No.

Actually, little guy's quiet.

Keeps to himself.

Hey, Mom.

Hi.

Yeah, that's me.

Oh, I'm not okay.

No, I'm scared.

I'm really scared.

I think I freaked him out the other day though.

No, shit.

I think he saw my boner.

So what's up with that hole?

You hitting man.

You making a shit look ugly?

Oh, what?

Dude, I have lost like 10 pounds.

That's just the A. He's talking.

What I want to know is details.

The fish is a freak, right?

I know that.

This is a freak.

10 minute fish is a freak.

Catholic girl, what can I tell you?

I think it's gonna be a good year this year, fellas.

Hmm.

So we take classes are easier this year.

Uh, yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah.

You haven't gotten class yet, have you?

No.

No, no, no.

Listen, let Fincer worry about Fincer, all right?

Besides, there's more to life than school and grades.

Like treating STDs like kids trade Pokemon cards?

You know, I hope the two of you are in a car accident.

And then the car bursts into flames and the EMTs are able to pull your bodies out just in time to save your lives.

But the burns are so severe that mothers have to cover their children's eyes.

So it's to stop them from puking all over themselves because of look under your mutilated bodies.

Do you feel better?

Yeah, a little bit.

[MUSIC]

So I feel like the orangutan is like the ninja of the wild kingdom.

So you think the orangutan is like the lion of the wild kingdom?

It kind of is more like the lion than the lion.

Like the stealth lion.

Yes.

If you could take a lion and you like dressed him in black.

It would be my right.

And then dressed him in orange.

It would be in a right time.

It would be in orangutan.

Was he eat human flesh?

[SIGHS]

My orangutan would.

Okay.

If I were in a orangutan, I would eat human flesh.

Woo!

Ah, motherfucker.

What?

All right, gentlemen.

That's f*ckin' party.

But that's party first.

Ah, oh, oh.

[LAUGHS]

Woo!

And last time they were here with you, it would turn around in the piss on her place.

Yeah, I recognize that dick anywhere.

I said a pretty gay, huh?

That shit fuckers back with his peanut butter-looking lap dog friends.

What do you say we kill them and serve them as next week's lunch special?

Gentlemen, are you ready to get your drink on before we get a steak on?

Yay!

Hey!

Hey!

Hello, bar bitch.

Bring us around in beers and some shots.

My friends are thirsty and step on it, faces around here and getting any prettier.

He did not just call me bar bitch.

I swear to God, I'm gonna knife him in the f*cking eye hole.

Listen.

Why don't you just go over there, serving the shots and telling you you're closing up and you need to f*ck off.

[LAUGHS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Every f*cking thing I do, I bring it to the table, I f*cking kill it.

Good to f*ckin' people.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Finally, the f*cking fool.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Is the sun for your treble dog face?

Oh.

That's plenty more where this came from.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

But you're gonna have to work for it.

Wow.

I'm sure that's not the first time a man's face has been in your crotch.

Right boys?

What?

Drink fast for closing in 10.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

This is so relaxing.

Say your all day.

Oh, so.

What do you want for breakfast?

You king.

You king.

You old shit!

Oh my god.

Oh.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHS]

You look like a zig.

Hey, you know what I'm telling you about a brother?

Is it so right?

[LAUGHS]

Looks like you got a lot on your hands right now.

I'm gonna leave.

No.

I miss you.

No.

Okay.

Oh.

Oh.

It's had fun.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

So you missed me?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You can talk, can't you?

All right.

See yourself.

I tried to leave.

My dad says that I have to stick it out no matter how horrible

my roommate is.

He says it's a growing experience and I will appreciate it later.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, shit.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

Uh, listen, I don't remember much in the last couple of weeks.

You're years for that matter, but maybe I can do some things

to make this a little bit easier for you.

You know?

Here I can cut down on the crazy drug-filled escapades.

This is a girl in it for you, huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Okay.

How about I take you out and show you some of the hotspots.

Find your cute little nerdy girl so you can stop staring at me

like I fucking ate your parents.

We'll use the fresh air.

You want a drink?

[SIGHS]

You drink, don't you?

Really?

What do I do?

I'm 15.

Shut the fuck up.

What are you doing here?

I scored really high in a couple of tests.

My parents' counselor said high school will be away some of my time.

That's funny, I said the same thing to my guidance counselor.

You were like a... had a disease or something.

Kind of freaked me out.

Uh, yeah, you're just smart, man. That's cool.

I can deal with that.

Yeah, well, take you out.

I'm sure there's some girl out there dying to bang a 15-year-old mute.

[LAUGHS]

All right.

Come on, let's go.

[GROANS]

Don't you have glasses to go to?

Right, let's uh...

So the questions for the end.

[GROANS]

Okay, what the fuck is this shit?

You a little possum playing bastard?

Oh, this is a little kind of game, 'cause this, how do you play this?

Who are you in the fucking pool club in your high school?

Nope.

Math club. It's a simple game of geometry and angles.

That's a simple game of shit, the fuck up.

Good God.

And what's the deal with your beer here?

I'm this lightweight shit.

What is this the first beer you ever had to?

Come on, drink it up.

Drink, drink, drink.

Eh, that's right.

My mother's milk.

[GROANS]

So...

The one.

Shut your face.

A little fucking cheats.

Nice.

What is up?

White people!

Oh!

Damn!

Tallow the drink and age now!

Must have missed the sign on a win.

Nice move!

I know if one of these motherfuckers gets on line.

I know why the kick is ass.

Yeah, you hurt me!

No, but really what's up?

There's my new roommate.

Oh, that's just on a smile.

Oh, that's cool.

Oh, that's been drinking for us.

It's just first one.

[MUSIC]

[GUNSHOT]

[GUNSHOT]

[GASP]

You guys want to get some shots?

Yeah, we can do that.

Okay.

We'll get you back.

Come on in.

[GASP]

Hey, your first hangover.

Congratulations.

Yay!

Now, thank you for ready for rule number seven.

You keep drinking.

You'll never be hungover.

Now, you know what makes me feel better during a hangover?

No.

It's the one girl you want to see after a blackout.

And she goes by the name of Mary.

Hold on.

Oh, my God!

We're in all that come from!

[GASP]

[GASP]

[GASP]

[GASP]

I guess we're going to have to work on this tolerance of yours.

Well, listen.

You rest up.

I have gotten appointment with the old sperm catcher.

You stay here, drink up, and you will be right as rain in no time.

All right?

So I should just put--

Oh, I'll just take it with me.

Don't take it with me.

[GASP]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASP]

[GASP]

[GASP]

[GASP]

Oh, would you prefer it if I loved you and left you?

[GASP]

[GASP]

You want to get lost or something?

Well, one time were you here.

And you're sure I wasn't here.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Doesn't sound like me.

All right, well then, yeah.

We'll just get together this weekend.

It's redefined weird sex.

You can poop on my balls and we'll call it the dirty squirrel.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, wait, your series?

You got a paper?

Oh, that's stupid.

Okay.

Well, yeah, let's do it next week.

Let's see when we get some of those track trophies.

And maybe we can do a little-- hello.

Hello?

Hello?

I'm sorry.

Are all girls crazy or is it just the ones I meet?

Sorry, man.

Too shame at 'em.

Shit.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

That'd make one for you, but, you know,

but it still smells pretty funky.

No more verse for you, my friend.

Why they made the drinking age 21.

So you could build up a vid of a tower.

Hold that.

But hey, listen, don't feel bad about throwing up.

Happens to everybody.

Not off half a beer, but--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You know what?

You sit there.

And those nights, the bathroom floor is your best friend.

You pray to God that the world will stop spending.

You even tell yourself you're going to quit drinking.

Then you start feeling a little bit better.

Before you know it, you're right back on that same bathroom

floor of the following weekend.

Hold this.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

That is what we call building tolerance.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Builds character, too.

So you got that look forward to, man.

All right, I am out of here.

But you have yourself a good time.

Play safe.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

God, damn it.

Do you want to come with me?

Yeah.

I thought you would.

How the fuck am I supposed to get you in the bar?

15, you look like you're 10.

Oh, I got it.

Hello, Finnegan and Michael Walsh.

There it is.

My idea from when I was 16 reminds me of another rule.

Always get yourself a good idea.

Bit expired, but damn it.

Ah, damn my sexy mustache.

What do we do?

No, I got it.

All right, I got it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Ah, OK.

So last Halloween, I was co-cheese from the Beastie Boys video.

There you go.

Keep that guy on and hey, look at me.

Look at me.

Yeah, I will have fun anyway.

Come on, let's go.

OK, listen up.

You want to get in?

First things first, this is all about confidence.

I know it's just can smell fear like shit.

OK, so just look natural.

Act natural.

Get up there and say, hey, how you doing?

How many ID?

Act casual.

OK, and we go a few pieces back, which is good to see

my big twice.

Even the bathroom, we get inside.

ID.

ID.

ID.

ID.

ID.

That mustache make you deaf.

No ID times to get the fuck out of my line.

What the hell was that?

Did you listen to a single word I said?

You go, I come to the guy.

You hand him your ID and you say hi.

God damn it, I don't even know if there's a point to doing this.

Do you think you can give this a shot?

OK, practice run.

Give me your ID.

Hmm.

Hello, young man.

What's your name?

Tell me.

Tell me.

You're not really getting the concept here.

You're pretending to be me.

You've got my ID.

You use my name, right?

OK, let's try again someplace else.

Come on.

OK, come here, come here.

OK, listen, I'll be until now your delivery's been pretty much shit.

So I went ahead and thought of a plan B.

Oh, there you go.

All right, it's going to be way better than you.

Staring, dumbly door guys all night.

So come on, come on.

Quick, quick, come on, come on.

OK, one, two, three, there we go.

There we go.

There we go.

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

You OK?

You're good.

Hey, man.

What happened to you?

I was looking for you all night.

You happened to me.

You threw me through the window of a girl's restroom.

Did you get any digits?

Hey, listen, listen, man.

OK, maybe.

Maybe going picking up chicks and bars isn't for you, but tomorrow,

I am going to teach you how to pick up chicks in the classroom.

All right, it's going to be fun.

High five, five it out.

Big five behind you.

Hit the five.

One, two, three, four, five.

Boom, come on, slap it up.

Big slappy.

I love the smell of freshman in the morning.

Hey, come on.

That's all upset about that, are you?

Huh?

Hey, scumbag, what are you doing in my classroom?

Well, it's good to see you too, sir.

I am actually in this class, but I have a few deaths in the family.

Took some time off, but you know what?

I'm back.

The tears are dry, and I'm ready to learn, sir.

Oh, cut the crap, pal.

You're skating on real thin ice here.

You little--

Well, you see, sir, I'm actually hoping that that ice will thicken

with the winter months coming, and then I can go ahead and skate right

on through until spring.

Mmm, smart guy.

We'll see who's laughing when you're cleaning crap off of a

burger king bathroom store.

But your students are here to learn.

Us home.

And if you make so much as a peep, I'm going to bounce this mug

off your head so hard that you will wake up retarded.

Do you get me shit for brains?

Yes, sir.

I love it when you talk, dirty.

You know, it's funny.

I was just mentioning to this guy about how I was going to give up

talking.

So, uh, we cool, huh?

Leave my sight.

Okay.

So, this is where all the girls hide during the day, huh?

Okay, Junior.

This is how it's done.

All right.

Rule 5.

Point 5.

Girls love a confident guy.

Okay, a confident, cool, but sensitive guy.

Hey there, princess.

I, uh, save a seat here for you.

What a bitch.

Listen, I bet you never even talked to a girl in creep.

I'll see you do better.

Oh, my God.

Are you going to make her circle, yes or no?

Do you think I'm cute, note?

It is a do you think I'm cute, note?

Oh, Pee, we know.

You have so much to learn.

That sort of thing doesn't work with girls who have things like

boobs.

I told you so.

You really think that was going to work?

You're writing another one.

You did learn your lesson on the first one.

You're going to make his both look like assholes.

So this is happening.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, she had you in bed.

What did you put in there?

No, I'm not sure.

Look at these notes.

Freaky fat kid up there kept passing me.

Yeah, that kid is a freak.

Oh, the kids.

We just glad that her little boy a few-wing better.

When I talked to Daddy.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

George.

George.

George!

Daddy would have to call you later, okay?

Okay, Mommy.

I really got a sequel.

I'm going to go.

Okay, I love you.

Okay, sweetie bye bye now.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm going to go.

Oh, my brother.

How did he turn this thing off?

That's got to be it.

Yeah.

Oh, yes.

Oh, George.

Oh, George.

The pepperizer you remembered.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Jerry, after job breakers, too.

Bring out his fake liquor and then to law the car.

Wow, man, you weren't just fucked up shit.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

This is like a Dixa hazard with Roscoe Peak Old Trent.

Who is it?

Donates.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Don't worry, man.

We all have a thing.

It's okay.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

You just no need to be embarrassed.

Look out for my parents.

Okay, that's pretty weird.

Why do you have a porno with your parents fucking?

Oh, gross.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Smells weird in here.

Like trees or something.

Yeah, I went for a hike.

Because I wanted to-- you should try it sometimes.

It's a nature.

You take the hike, dick fur brains, and take your mail to.

I'll leave you to lovebirds alone now.

You're not going to read your mail?

It's just bills or junk mail.

You don't have any bills.

Would you get to be so chatty?

Aside from the school, um, nothing I want to read.

Aren't you curious?

You're so interested to be my guest.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

So?

I thought you were curious.

Oh, shit.

It isn't good news.

See?

I fucking told you so.

You might want to read this.

So do you want to read it?

So for it!

So basically, it says that you have to get an answer.

You have to get an answer.

Every single one of you midterms.

Oh, you're going to get a flunk out of school.

Well, they did it.

I always thought they were bluffing just to make me work harder.

That's not fair.

It's just not fair for I had school and I had nothing.

My whole life was a heck of me, but not--

Give me this.

Feel better?

Mr. Questions?

Hey, Bradside, you have the whole place yourself here pretty soon.

Regulators.

Mount?

Ah!

We're going to party it together.

Let's do this.

Um, I'm working.

Plus, I have a thing about going to parties before noon.

Don't be an idiot!

Let's go get drunk!

I just opened and there are people here already.

You don't say.

Excuse me.

Just look infected to you.

Dear God, in heaven.

Yeah.

Oh!

You bastard.

Well, this I could use a day of nonsense.

That's all I can promise.

So, this is what I missed out on by not going to college.

Hey, try not to get too drunk and make a bunch of dudes, okay?

Just make sure I don't get murdered, will you guys?

You're my kid.

Oh, you're my kid.

You're my kid.

Wonderful.

Are you next little guy?

Mm-hmm.

All right, this guy says he's next.

Wow!

That's right, ladies, Andre is a malabola.

The route.

Get your back.

Get your back.

Mm-hmm.

No, buddy.

Those are big boy balloons.

Stay away from them.

Oh!

You get putch on the ball.

Let them putch on!

What the hell!

David, what did you do there?

You get.

Putch on the ball!

Putch on the ball!

Y'all, nice hat, douche.

All right, rule number five.

I'll always be one of the everywhere you go.

Okay, go on and for suckers and fresh, man.

Shoulders pull that out of your ass?

Oh, it's good!

Yeah!

Now, see, that's what I'm talking about.

See, you bitch, niches, laughs!

I'm gonna take this shit.

I have some money.

Mm-hmm.

All right, you two can stick with me.

I'll show you how it's done.

Let me not go caramelized.

I know, I know.

I feel what you're going through.

I feel what you're going through.

I'm not going through.

Yeah, it's breaking out the hole and bringing in the heel.

Dance for me.

Dance for me.

You either got the--

Yeah!

Get up!

Yeah!

Get up!

Come on!

Yeah!

Get up!

Rock it, truffle, truffle, fake, roll, keep it, keep it tight, tight, tight.

Oh, fuck.

Tonight, tonight, you bitch and see.

Oh, it's a boom, suckers!

Oh, lady, fuck it.

Put it out tonight.

Oh, let me a pause.

You hit a bit of a horn before.

It's in.

Boom, suckers!

Oh, my God.

This is a hot hand.

It's a hot hand.

Come on, man.

I need you.

Come here, man.

Why would I want to do that?

You know, I'd definitely hit it.

It's like you ain't doing it once I can not trash.

Sounds like that could be a bad thing.

Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait.

Where are you going?

You come on.

Come on.

Excuse me.

Do either of you know where the dirty fucking Horabag section is?

Oh, Jenny, I didn't see you there.

It must be here.

Oh, my friend.

You're writing a paper this weekend?

About that paper.

See, you were kind of my inspiration.

My teacher assigned me to do a paper about a guy who was the college to party instead of

learn.

So I went to the campus bar.

The only one opened before noon.

And there you were.

But see, I had a great time.

Don't get me wrong.

And the class loved it.

I learned a lot of things I didn't want to know.

And I got an A.

But now that the paper's done, so are we.

She Hor!

Hey!

You think I must come back?

You hoard yourself out for a paper.

Correction.

I hoard myself out for an A.

Get out of here, asshole.

Take your midget friend and go cry somewhere else.

Oh, hey, believe the old broad.

Think my boys are starting to take a leg and you're hurt.

She's like 40.

Oh, my God, so old.

[LAUGHS]

Did you just flick me?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

Guys, take this fuck outside.

I'll keep you something to cry about.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You know, I didn't plan on fucking anyone up tonight.

Those plans just changed.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, gee, okay, come on.

Yeah, bitch.

[LAUGHS]

Fuck it, sir.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

Oh, I am an impressive specimen.

What's up with you?

Yeah!

No, no, no, no.

It's V-P.

There's no rules.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, that damn--

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

Oh, no, no.

Ah, come on, go, go!

[LAUGHS]

I'm sorry to break a full of fun here.

You two gentlemen over to the side of the house.

Put your hand on the wall.

I-D's Bello's I-D's.

Bring them out.

Let's go.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

This ain't over.

I think I'll do this one.

Whoa, hell.

Who doesn't land under a calski?

[LAUGHS]

You know, you shouldn't be grab-ass in half way through the season.

You guys, I'm sorry.

This guy here made a Polish joke.

All right, that's my heritage.

I can't stand for that.

Coach doesn't have to hear about this, does he?

Hey, where the bad guy is, McDaniel?

Hey, hands on the wall.

What did I tell you about that?

Keep your hands on the wall.

I almost teased you right in the balls.

Look, we know it's a big game coming up.

We're gonna let it slide this week, all right?

But we see either of you two again.

Especially you punk.

You're gonna be answering to the judge in the morning.

Not to us.

I'll make sure that doesn't happen, sir.

Thank you so much.

Make sure we don't see you again.

Except maybe on the field, huh?

[LAUGHS]

You guys coming up this weekend?

Well, take some tickets.

I've met the box office.

He's doing a great job, guys.

And may I say, excellent notstashes.

Fantastic.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

Hey.

Any other big man?

Where you been?

Do you have it been to class in over a week?

You're going to get kicked out of your own turn yourself around right now.

I'm done, man.

I'm done with the whole thing.

Hey!

You put me through hell and I wanted to give up, but I had to suck it up and move back into the cell

hole with your crazy ass.

You haven't done a goddamn thing, but feel sorry for yourself and you're giving up.

You haven't even tried and you're quitting.

Well, forget that asshole.

Your ass is going to start trying.

Are you going to let the skis back ruin your life?

Or are you going to go out there and pop a load of truth in her ass?

At least put forth a little bit of effort so that if you fail, you'll know it's because you're a dumb shit and not a pussy!

People keep telling you to stand up for myself, but you don't know who I am.

You're the only friend I've ever had, Finn.

And I'll be damned if I'm going to let my first friend take off and tear his life apart.

Oh, are you going to get up off your ass and get to work?

[ Sighs ]

Well...

No, I will! Get your ass up before I kick your ass up!

[ Sighs ]

You're right.

Rule three and four.

Surround yourself with good people and good things happen to you.

Surround yourself with crazy bitches and...

You end up on the floor.

I'm really sorry about everything.

You know, you're a good guy, Toby.

You're a really good friend.

Okay.

Drink this, clean yourself up.

And we'll get started.

[ Laughs ]

I got you back, bitch!

[ Laughs ]

I respect that.

About played.

[ Music ]

Yeah!

[ Laughs ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

[ Music ]

I think I got this.

Still gonna make a cheat sheet in case of a brain shark, but, yeah, I think I got this.

[ Music ]

Hey, you gotta admit, I'm...

You're gonna better, right?

Not if I have anything to say about it.

That's not cool, man.

I'm not paid to get cool, man.

I'm paid to make sure that scumbags like you don't have the chance to screw up this wonderful country of ours.

Now take your seat. You are polluting my breathing room and you're late.

[ Music ]

I'm gonna finish this class.

[ Music ]

We'll be having a study session for next week's midterms.

I will be giving out study sheets and you can study either in groups or individually.

If anyone has any questions, just come up and ask me.

Hey, you work with those if you want.

It's got a tardin' smart.

Cool.

[ Music ]

Oh, so, I totally saw that whole thing go down between you and that jock guy.

I thought he was gonna murder you.

I mean, that was so crazy.

So, what, he likes to steal your girlfriend or something?

No, actually, that's his sister.

And I said it's not cool for you to be banging your sister.

But I guess wherever they come from, it's cool.

Oh, you, that's really gross.

So, are you guys going to that November Fest Kagger next weekend?

It's gonna be like another mega-rager.

I can't because I have a few tests that I have to take.

You know, you're gonna get back in good standing at school?

No, next weekend.

In terms of gonna be over, you gotta go.

It's gonna be like the awesomest, awesomest party ever.

When you put it like that, how can I say no?

Look at you!

Dude, isn't true November Fest is amazing.

Yeah.

There was one time, third year sophomore year.

I tried to stay drunk for an entire month, but as it turns out,

the school campus did not think it was as sweet as I did.

[ Music ]

That's it.

I'm done.

I'm feeling my brain pulsating.

I think it wants out.

Hey, let's go to the bar.

Grab a beer.

Relax.

Say hi to everybody.

That might be the worst idea you've ever had.

Well, maybe not the worst, but it's certainly up there.

You have your first and most important test of your life in the morning.

It's late, all right?

We deserve something for all the hard work we've been doing.

Shh!

Shut up, homeless Jesus.

Yeah, it's right.

Turn around.

Listen, I promise.

I will just have one, okay?

Anything else we can put in all this hard work?

Bust my ass, just to blow it, huh?

You don't know me.

A guy damn thing.

But if I ever need my wife,

raped and murdered, you better have my back.

So then he says that the drunk and homeless guy,

that's fine.

Just go to the right house first.

Boom!

Ah?

You ready, Gator?

About two jokes ago.

All right, all right, can we five minutes?

I got my talents off itself, be true.

I know.

I really think he's gonna fuck me.

Hey, I'm girl.

You know how many in the books do lately?

No, I really think he's gonna fuck me.

Hey, I'm girl.

You know how many in the books do lately?

No, that meat had creeped just walked in.

Oh, fuck me.

You guys are crazy if you think I'm serving you, so why don't you just leave?

Hey, truth.

All right?

We don't mean any harm.

Just came by to say hi.

We had some drinks with our friends.

Hey, speaking of which,

who's my friend from the other night?

To go home and shut.

In the fucking face.

[screaming]

Yeah!

Well, he's not here, and as far as I'm concerned,

neither are you.

So why don't you take your business elsewhere, dickhold?

You know, it's gonna be really hard for our relationship to boss,

and if you keep shutting me out like this,

it's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

It's gonna be a good thing to do.

Sorry.

I was cursed with two left feet.

Is that right?

I'm not gonna be cursed with two black eyes, dickhead.

Oh!

It's like my sister.

She's gonna pause me.

God, damn it.

You just don't know where to shut the fuck up, do you?

Don't!

Oh!

Bam!

Bam!

Yeah.

Where's the clever comeback now, funny boy?

Cute out, run.

Cute out.

Cute.

Come on, baby.

So who's giving me an FJ first?

[LAUGHTER]

You guys will never guess what I just did.

I beat the crap out of this douchebag jock.

[LAUGHTER]

I'm so strong.

I don't know.

And then I win.

I ain't stole my test.

Isn't that right, teach?

[LAUGHTER]

That's right, get in here.

Wait, why'd we stop?

What's happening?

Hey.

What?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Ah, crap, it's a dream.

Hey, wakey, wakey.

Time to go.

Hey, ah.

You messed up trickface.

We warned you.

You gotta go talk to the judge tomorrow.

No, guys, no, no, no, tomorrow.

Listen, I think there's a test.

I've got a pass tomorrow.

Oh, great.

Well, we gave you a test too, and you failed.

Let's go.

Let's go!

Let's go, let's go!

That's holes!

Don't resist.

I'm in the way.

Thanks for the tickets.

Those are great seats.

Any time, sir.

Thanks for stopping in.

I feel safe already.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, nice.

It's cool.

It's all bad, everything, man.

Just stay here.

We'll be cool.

Talk about some fit.

God damn it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Can't believe this happened.

It's all I worked on the shitter.

I hope that jock ass hook gets stomach cancer and dies a slow painful death.

I'll visit him in the hospital every day and remind him he's going to die soon.

How are you laughing right now?

I missed my test this morning, so, you know, that's it.

I'm out of school.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I just want to get for trying.

What the fuck?

This is funny to you?

Did you hear me?

I missed my goddamn test this morning, so that's it.

It's over.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Technically, but I still think you did pretty well on it.

What the hell does that mean?

Well, we couldn't bail you out of jail, so I bailed you out of your test.

Well, you got me like an extension?

No, I got you in A.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

How did you do that?

I mean, they--

screen everybody before they go in to take the test.

Hello, I'm fitting in Michael Walsh.

One hand done.

Oh, it's beef head.

What I'm done?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You.

[LAUGHS]

You have to son of a bitch.

Are you kidding me?

Do it, you're my savior.

Hello.

Oh, I'm done.

No, that's the thing we got.

We got it.

[LAUGHS]

Do you actually pull this off?

This is the most wonderful, amazing thing I've ever heard of in my entire life.

I have an e-con test to get to.

I got to get you three more eggs.

Go!

I hope that wasn't your first kiss.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Ah, isn't that a shame?

Looks like you only got one wrong.

Almost the perfect paper though.

One wrong.

Congratulations.

Sorry about busting your ball so much, Chief, but some students just need a little bit more coaxing than others.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

This is getting weird.

Now get the hell out of here before you get me fired.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You might be wondering why I called you here tonight.

To get revenge on the jerkface jocks.

To get revenge on the jerkface jocks.

To get revenge on the jerkface jocks.

To get revenge on the jerkface jocks.

All right, we've got to come up with some plan to make sure these guys stop terrorizing the campus and mostly us.

So ideas?

Toby?

That's gross.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Toby?

All right, Chloe.

What do you got?

OK.

So I figure the only way to rid these guys from our lives forever is to simply take theirs.

We'll sneak into their house in the middle of the night.

Walk up to their bedside.

Disembowel them.

And shoot them in their stupid fucking faces.

Bang!

All we need are disguises.

That is a plan, bitches.

Anybody else?

Didn't you learn a goddamn thing?

I taught you a silly son of a bitch.

Oh, my God, Kenny Miller.

I thought you were dead, man.

I was.

So having a little trouble with some local assholes, huh?

Said Charles Play.

Thanks, slide for the beer.

So what have you been?

Fuck a final.

I spent some time in Thailand doing lines of some hookers boner.

I'll do one of my help where you're going to stare at me like I just stayed in your parents.

Shit.

Yeah, sorry.

These guys are real pain in the dick.

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking you're going to have to beat these assholes of their own game.

Now, what's all are these fuckers best at?

Drinking.

Ultimate drink off.

Ultimate drink off.

Good job.

Yeah, but then there's the whole "We'll Probably Lose and Get Our Asses" kick thing to think about.

That's exactly how these fuckers will think it will play out as well.

But you're forgetting one thing.

Got the beauty.

Got the brain.

And...

A black guy.

What says you're going to have to play it fair?

That's why it's the master.

Okay.

Bring it in, fellas.

There's what you've got to do.

Back during my disorientation, we had a similar situation with some fuck sticks.

So what we did was...

[cheering]

All right, everyone.

Listen up.

First off, I hope everyone is having fun.

And if you break or steal any of my shit, I will stab you right in the goddamn balls.

Now, the event you have all been waiting for, everyone gather in, because the shit

you have about to begin!

The rules are simple.

Each contestant will receive one shot per minute until someone passes out pukes or dies.

So, if you contestants are ready, let's do this goddamn thing.

Let's do this goddamn thing!

We're gonna tear you a little freak bitch, it has to do!

[cheering]

Oh, yeah.

[laughing]

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, oh.

[cheering]

Yes, you may have another.

[laughing]

That's how the fuck you do that!

Yeah, so then the guy tells me that he's beating up girls with a stick and I'm like,

"Well, that's really weird.

Where are these huge, clitoris women that you can beat off?"

I don't know what the air is talking about.

[laughing]

[crashing]

[screaming]

You fucking push me.

Oh, hi.

Hey.

[mumbling]

Oh, great. It comes dope, Lungren.

What's up, fucker?

Hey.

[laughing]

You just don't learn, do you?

No, but you know what I blame the teacher, but hey, who gives a shit, huh?

After we win this thing tonight, we want to see you or your freaky friends faces ever again.

Fuck, say that fast ten times.

Yeah, not if I hang up a picture of myself in your coffin.

Big bitch.

This is a freaky face.

Hey, what?

That's for me!

You better hope you don't ever have to see my face again.

Of course, I will have to drop by from time to time to check up on the old bra.

Anyway, I'll see you inside.

Pussy.

Seriously, does that guy gargle with assholes or what?

How do you get your breath to smell like that?

You don't know what the fuck I'm capable of?

Yeah!

[laughing]

Oh!

[cheering]

Oh!

[cheering]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!

[cheering]

Yeah!

[cheering]

You better look at this.

You better look at this.

Take him outside in the curb.

Okay, ladies and jerks, we are onto the 100th proof round.

Our next contestants are some black guy who better not steal any shit.

You better not steal anything.

Versus another La Crosse player who will probably rape one of you later.

So, if you are ready, let's put our bets down because it is time to grow down.

Hey, great job out there. You're a sly son of a bitch.

Can't believe you pulled it off.

Pay attention, son.

I'm about to get taught something here.

Time to take your medicine, meet here.

Is that right?

Meet head, huh?

Well, Sally, you keep flapping those skinny lifts years and you're going to meet fist.

Yeah!

Wow, whoa.

I have such a meat head thing to say, meet head.

[mumbling]

[laughing]

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

My shame is, boy, boy.

Look about as cool as a bone in the bathing suit.

It's about to be more embarrassing walking around with you.

Yeah?

Go fuck yourself in a pussy!

Pussy!

[laughing]

I'll write down on me.

I gotta drink and contest the win.

Hit me.

Okay, here we go, round two.

Enough joking around, jokers.

Let's get these down.

[laughing]

Aren't enough fucking around.

Set up the doubles.

Let's see what Nancy here's made of.

[cheering]

It's not crazy.

Shit.

Oh, job.

[laughing]

How you doing, beautiful?

[singing]

[singing]

It's so harsh on me, gorgeous.

I just came over here to tell you that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry you got dragged into all of this.

I hope that when it's over, maybe we could be friends.

[singing]

Okay, okay, I probably deserve that.

I just want to tell you, I think you're really great.

You're gorgeous tonight.

What?

You think that I am gorgeous?

I think you look fucking hot.

Mm.

Well, Abigail, you're such a smelly little piece of shit.

When you go to the beach, little kittens try to bury you.

And the crowd laughs!

[laughing]

That was cute.

It's like they're shirts you got on.

Baby, you have having a going out of style, Sam.

[laughing]

Yeah?

Well, you're so stupid when you were being born.

You came out, your mom's asshole!

[laughing]

You so gay, you think getting shit-faced is for a play.

[laughing]

[cheering]

[cheering]

Hey, hey, yo, my nose!

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

You are dirty girl.

Sometimes.

You like dirty girls?

I like them a lot.

I want too bad, I don't think I'm supposed to be talking to you.

Oh, shit.

[screaming]

Just both go to shit.

On a little sloppy layer.

Fucking face.

You got this man.

Oh.

Spinnance makes me strong.

[laughing]

Told her in this shit, Hickers ass!

[cheering]

Come on, man.

Take that bitch!

Got clippin' in!

Oh, oh, oh, he's goin'.

Oh, he's goin'.

Oh, he's goin'.

[cheering]

Hey!

[cheering]

Go!

[cheering]

We have a winner!

[cheering]

[cheering]

[cheering]

Yes, he's got this.

Oops.

Oh, right.

Let's get these clown fuckers out of here.

It's time for round three.

[cheering]

[laughing]

Okay, final round all tied up.

Winner takes off.

And we'll see that blonde hair, Jack Duchbag,

lookin' motherfucker.

[cheering]

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, hey.

Did you see a blonde goon looking dude with a faggy jersey come through here?

See a blonde faggy jersey, yeah.

Oh, you guys are like wasted.

How'd you get it?

So fucking wasted.

I wanted to be wasted, but I'm like not even drunk yet.

Hey, I think your girlfriend's like banging some tiny jersey up there.

You wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna.

They were wasted.

I wanted to be wasted.

I'm like not even drunk yet, okay?

Fuck are you doing?

Fuck you.

You're so pretty.

You know that has to pop.

Yeah.

You want to stick it in my ass, sailor?

Come and give it to me.

Big boy.

Mm.

Let's get you warmed up, huh?

Huh?

Oh.

Oh.

That's nice.

Mm.

The first time is at heart.

Mm.

Oh.

This is a sweaty baseball club.

How could you do this to us?

You again?

Must be cold in here.

Ah!

Oh.

The L train is entered the tunnel.

Yeah, it has.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

You, you, you, you.

You're the juggle.

Yeah.

You're the lucky.

What the fresh hell is this?

Hey, reverse cow, girl.

Nice.

Hey, sir.

There's room for one more.

Yeah, I've been.

Oh.

Mm?

No.

We should.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Right there, L train.

Don't stop, big boy.

Perfect.

Oh.

I got a handed to you.

He is awful pretty.

Rule number nine, my friend.

Revenge is a dish best served.

Mainly.

Legend.

Legend.

It strikes me.

Legend.

Legend.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

That's all.

You're really good.

I'm going to get a girlfriend.

I've settled down, you.

Hey.

He was quite the show that you put on last weekend.

You think that we can hang out sometime?

I'm going to give you my number.

I can't.

I can't.

Ever.

Ever.

Ever.

Ever.

Enjoy time and cheer on your bitch.

Just kidding, man.

Tear it up.

I won't keep me up though.

I can't see the water.

But when it ends, any form, it's unsaltedchelly.

And you're always cool.

And you're always sweet.

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, Miss Apple.

See that little boy over there?

He says you got a tattoo.

Show me your tattoo.

Excuse me, officer.

That lady likes showing people her tattoo up over Pete.

[LAUGHTER]

Show me your tattoo.

Is this tattoo?

Yeah, right.

You are really coming around.

You can be a good year, you know?

Yeah, for all of us.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMING]

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMING]

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

So tell me again the reason why I had to drink it till I almost died.

That's just it, buddy.

That was important rule of all.

In college, you don't need a reason to drink until you almost die.

You find him.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I think that's a great idea, Finn.

You should put in some hard work.

You're so much smarter than six or no.

I just want to make it out with you, man.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

And call your mom.

She misses you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Bang!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

(dramatic music)

♪ The day I'm on the show ♪

♪ The better we'll go ♪

♪ The better we'll go ♪

♪ The better we'll go ♪

♪ The hot mist on the bottom of the street ♪

♪ The day I'm on the bottom of the street ♪

♪ The night's a dream ♪

(dramatic music)

♪ The day I'm on the street ♪

♪ The day I'm on the street ♪

♪ The night's a dream ♪

♪ The day I'm on the street ♪

(dramatic music)

♪ The day I'm on the street ♪

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[BLANK_AUDIO]