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1
00:00:07,991 --> 00:00:09,341
[grunts]
2
00:00:10,569 --> 00:00:11,969
[tires screech]
3
00:00:13,572 --> 00:00:14,722
D'oh!
4
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:17,474
[grunts]
5
00:00:18,577 --> 00:00:20,060
[all grunting]
6
00:00:22,431 --> 00:00:25,507
HOMER: This guy must be
a pinball wizard!
7
00:00:25,584 --> 00:00:27,609
I'm at work. D'oh!
8
00:00:36,278 --> 00:00:38,612
Hmm, something feels different.
9
00:00:38,688 --> 00:00:39,930
It's 11:00 a.m.
10
00:00:39,932 --> 00:00:41,265
On a weekday.
11
00:00:41,267 --> 00:00:42,599
I'm on my third beer.
12
00:00:42,618 --> 00:00:44,785
Right on schedule.
13
00:00:44,937 --> 00:00:47,028
No, wait, Homer's right.
14
00:00:47,106 --> 00:00:49,273
Something's, uh, missing.
15
00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:52,384
Wasn't there a grade from
the health inspector over there?
16
00:00:52,461 --> 00:00:54,278
Nah, it's always been that sign.
17
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,963
[chuckles] Next year I hope
they give me a "U."
18
00:00:57,116 --> 00:00:58,298
I know what's missing.
19
00:00:58,450 --> 00:01:00,708
Did a woman named Diane
used to work at this bar,
20
00:01:00,786 --> 00:01:03,711
and now she's been replaced
by a woman named Rebecca?
21
00:01:03,789 --> 00:01:07,566
If a woman named Diane had
a lead role in a bar like this,
22
00:01:07,643 --> 00:01:09,217
why would she ever leave?
23
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,903
That'd be career suicide.
24
00:01:10,979 --> 00:01:14,740
No, it's not some smart,
ambitious woman that's missing.
25
00:01:14,817 --> 00:01:18,059
In fact, it's
the complete opposite of that.
26
00:01:18,137 --> 00:01:19,136
[all]
Barney!
27
00:01:19,154 --> 00:01:20,470
No Barney? Wha...?
28
00:01:20,472 --> 00:01:22,748
When's the last time
he was here?
29
00:01:22,899 --> 00:01:24,658
-[rat squeaking, scurrying]
-Oh, oh, God!
30
00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:26,326
He's been gone at least a week.
31
00:01:26,478 --> 00:01:27,735
Hi, guys.
32
00:01:27,813 --> 00:01:29,329
Beat it, string bean,
we're trying to figure out
33
00:01:29,481 --> 00:01:30,997
what happened
to our friend Barney.
34
00:01:31,074 --> 00:01:32,424
I'm Barney.
35
00:01:32,501 --> 00:01:33,650
Ta-da!
36
00:01:33,652 --> 00:01:35,652
[vocalizing]
37
00:01:35,654 --> 00:01:37,321
And you ain't Barney.
38
00:01:37,323 --> 00:01:39,656
Barney Gumble is overweight,
boozed up,
39
00:01:39,675 --> 00:01:42,692
can't go two seconds
without unleashing a--
40
00:01:42,694 --> 00:01:44,603
-[burps]
-[all] Barney!
41
00:01:45,831 --> 00:01:47,331
Uh, wow, buddy.
42
00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:48,440
You really lost some weight.
43
00:01:48,592 --> 00:01:51,276
Yeah, I was feeling
kind of blah,
44
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:54,671
so I went to the doctor,
and he ordered up some tests.
45
00:01:54,673 --> 00:01:56,006
Oh, my dear friend.
46
00:01:56,024 --> 00:01:57,524
Oh, this ain't good.
47
00:01:57,526 --> 00:01:59,676
No! Why does God take
48
00:01:59,695 --> 00:02:01,954
all the people
that drink themselves to death?
49
00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:03,363
It's not that bad.
50
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,440
The tests just showed
that I have...
51
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,033
"hyperglycemia."
52
00:02:07,035 --> 00:02:09,035
So, low blood sugar?
53
00:02:09,112 --> 00:02:12,297
Lenny, he said "hyper,"
not "hypo."
54
00:02:12,449 --> 00:02:14,449
Any idiot knows the difference,
idiot.
55
00:02:14,526 --> 00:02:16,526
So, Barn, you-you're not dying?
56
00:02:16,528 --> 00:02:19,713
Except in the same,
slow, horrible way we all are.
57
00:02:19,715 --> 00:02:21,865
Soon enough, my pretties.
58
00:02:21,884 --> 00:02:23,142
[chuckles]
59
00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:25,144
I'm fine.
They put me on this medicine
60
00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:27,737
that regulates my glucose.
61
00:02:27,739 --> 00:02:28,963
Othinquic.
62
00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:32,058
The weight loss is
just a side effect.
63
00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:34,236
[vocalizing]
64
00:02:38,567 --> 00:02:41,660
Wow, a medicine
that actually makes you skinny?
65
00:02:41,737 --> 00:02:45,647
That's the best side effect
since Viagra was created for...
66
00:02:45,724 --> 00:02:47,391
What was Viagra created for?
67
00:02:47,393 --> 00:02:49,835
I think it was to help
comedy writers.
68
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,228
[Carl and Homer]
Oh, yeah.
69
00:02:51,230 --> 00:02:52,396
-Yeah, you got that right.
-Those are always funny.
70
00:02:52,398 --> 00:02:53,839
Hey, let's celebrate.
71
00:02:53,916 --> 00:02:56,008
Uh, refresh my memory, uh,
72
00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:58,068
beer's your drink, right?
73
00:02:58,070 --> 00:03:00,328
No, thanks.
Another welcome side effect is,
74
00:03:00,406 --> 00:03:02,255
I no longer crave alcohol.
75
00:03:02,332 --> 00:03:05,667
One club soda with lime, please.
76
00:03:05,669 --> 00:03:07,411
Don't crave alcohol?
77
00:03:07,429 --> 00:03:09,596
I can't let this secret get out.
78
00:03:09,673 --> 00:03:10,856
What secret?
79
00:03:10,933 --> 00:03:12,357
Wonder weight-loss drug.
80
00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:13,841
Oh, hey, Lou?
81
00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:16,253
Want to hear the big news
I'm gonna tell everyone?
82
00:03:16,271 --> 00:03:18,513
Yeah, but, Chief, the bank
robbers are right over there.
83
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,775
And they can stay there until I
tell you this interesting fact.
84
00:03:21,927 --> 00:03:23,276
It all started at Moe's.
85
00:03:23,353 --> 00:03:26,038
You know the place next
to the, uh, the music store?
86
00:03:26,114 --> 00:03:28,356
You mean the one the
bank robbers are holed up in.
87
00:03:28,358 --> 00:03:32,452
If you keep interrupting,
I'm just gonna talk slower.
88
00:03:32,529 --> 00:03:34,463
(Wiggum speaking)
89
00:03:35,607 --> 00:03:37,382
[both grunt]
90
00:03:38,460 --> 00:03:41,795
Thanks. I need to give
something to my son.
91
00:03:41,947 --> 00:03:43,129
A calming butterscotch?
92
00:03:43,206 --> 00:03:46,040
Never leave me alone.
93
00:03:46,118 --> 00:03:47,951
-Now leave me alone. Gah!
-[grunts]
94
00:03:47,953 --> 00:03:49,636
Wow, Chief.
95
00:03:49,713 --> 00:03:51,304
That drug really works.
96
00:03:51,381 --> 00:03:53,047
Go ahead, Lou,
put your hand in there.
97
00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:55,216
-Hey, that's an order.
-I resign.
98
00:03:55,218 --> 00:03:56,884
Well, even so,
I got you for two weeks.
99
00:03:56,962 --> 00:03:57,961
Now stick it in.
100
00:03:57,963 --> 00:03:59,554
Yeah, r-right there, that's it.
101
00:03:59,631 --> 00:04:02,482
I mean, it has
really changed my life.
102
00:04:02,484 --> 00:04:04,243
Sarah and I are
making whoopee again.
103
00:04:04,319 --> 00:04:06,470
We're gonna have
more Ralphies soon.
104
00:04:06,472 --> 00:04:07,913
A big one, a girl one,
105
00:04:08,064 --> 00:04:10,165
one that even looks
more like Eddie.
106
00:04:11,493 --> 00:04:12,976
Must try this drug.
107
00:04:12,978 --> 00:04:15,420
Diet and exercise
do not work for me,
108
00:04:15,497 --> 00:04:16,755
as I do not do them.
109
00:04:16,906 --> 00:04:18,757
So does it come
in gummy or vape?
110
00:04:18,908 --> 00:04:20,166
It's in a convenient needle
111
00:04:20,243 --> 00:04:22,243
that you inject yourself with
once a week.
112
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:24,412
But you need a prescription.
113
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,913
To the doct-arr.
114
00:04:25,991 --> 00:04:28,658
Then the pharr... macy.
115
00:04:28,677 --> 00:04:31,436
♪ Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk ♪
116
00:04:31,513 --> 00:04:34,180
♪ I'm a woman's man, no time to talk ♪
117
00:04:34,333 --> 00:04:37,667
♪ Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around ♪
118
00:04:37,686 --> 00:04:39,778
♪ Since I was born, and now it's all right. ♪
119
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,507
I really don't think you need
to lose weight, sir.
120
00:04:43,509 --> 00:04:45,099
My target weight is
to fit inside
121
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:46,809
a mailing tube by Christmas.
122
00:04:46,845 --> 00:04:48,203
Jab me.
123
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,849
[Burns grunting]
124
00:04:52,868 --> 00:04:54,609
[Burns]
Excellent.
125
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,944
For the first time since
the invention of the McNugget,
126
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,280
America's waistbands
are shrinking.
127
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:00,524
Because with this epidemic,
128
00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:02,859
people actually want
to get their shots.
129
00:05:02,878 --> 00:05:04,711
But is this new drug safe?
130
00:05:04,713 --> 00:05:08,365
Our answer: "Yes, of course,
what are you, crazy?"
131
00:05:08,383 --> 00:05:11,476
Won't surprise you after
this word from our sponsor.
132
00:05:11,553 --> 00:05:13,036
♪
133
00:05:13,038 --> 00:05:14,980
[announcer] Do you suffer from blood sugar issues?
134
00:05:15,057 --> 00:05:17,298
Or are you just not bathing suit-ready
135
00:05:17,376 --> 00:05:19,726
and willing to claim you have blood sugar issues?
136
00:05:19,803 --> 00:05:23,380
The new Danish drug Othinquic might be for you.
137
00:05:23,382 --> 00:05:25,973
♪ Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic ♪
138
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,810
I'm a mirakelmedicin.
139
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,403
[boings]
140
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:31,997
♪ Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic ♪
141
00:05:32,074 --> 00:05:35,408
We're going to be
best friends forever.
142
00:05:35,485 --> 00:05:38,395
Which is how long
you have to take me.
143
00:05:38,413 --> 00:05:40,038
[announcer] Side effects include lack of appetite,
144
00:05:40,115 --> 00:05:41,414
pancreatitis, having to buy new pants,
145
00:05:41,491 --> 00:05:43,066
a brutally painful death, and not being able
146
00:05:43,068 --> 00:05:44,584
to play Santa at Christmas. Othinquic!
147
00:05:44,736 --> 00:05:45,919
♪ Oh, oh, oh. ♪
148
00:05:46,071 --> 00:05:49,014
Okay, I have to address
the elephant in the room,
149
00:05:49,091 --> 00:05:50,924
by which I mean Homer.
150
00:05:51,076 --> 00:05:53,167
How come you're not
on that stuff, dumbo?
151
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,261
Because it makes you
stop eating.
152
00:05:55,338 --> 00:05:56,930
And eating is natural.
153
00:05:56,932 --> 00:05:58,598
Body positivity.
154
00:05:58,750 --> 00:06:01,601
Yes, I'm positive you look
like a talking beach ball.
155
00:06:01,678 --> 00:06:04,254
Listen, boy,
I would only go on medication
156
00:06:04,272 --> 00:06:06,089
if a doctor told me to.
157
00:06:06,091 --> 00:06:08,033
And I don't see doctors.
158
00:06:08,184 --> 00:06:10,260
Always telling me to do stuff.
159
00:06:10,278 --> 00:06:13,038
Hey, at least I'll never
lose you in a crowd. [laughs]
160
00:06:13,115 --> 00:06:15,356
Bart, enough
with the fat-shaming.
161
00:06:15,434 --> 00:06:18,435
I love Dad however he looks,
and Mom does, too.
162
00:06:18,437 --> 00:06:19,619
Right, Mom?
163
00:06:19,696 --> 00:06:21,938
Um...
164
00:06:21,940 --> 00:06:23,623
Right, Marge?
165
00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:24,941
[Marge]
Hmm.
166
00:06:24,943 --> 00:06:26,718
Uh...
167
00:06:26,795 --> 00:06:29,036
Well, I support you, Dad.
168
00:06:29,114 --> 00:06:32,115
I'm proud of you
for not giving in to Big Pharma.
169
00:06:32,134 --> 00:06:35,543
The only thing I'm giving
into is big "parma."
170
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,137
At Luigi's.
171
00:06:37,213 --> 00:06:39,139
-Woo-hoo! All right! [laughs]
-Yay, Dad!
172
00:06:39,215 --> 00:06:40,790
[Homer chuckles]
173
00:06:40,792 --> 00:06:43,110
[Luigi]
Hmm. Mm-hmm.
174
00:06:44,463 --> 00:06:46,296
[wind blowing]
175
00:06:46,314 --> 00:06:48,465
Mama, we got a reservation!
176
00:06:48,483 --> 00:06:49,816
I can't a-cook.
177
00:06:49,893 --> 00:06:52,135
I got-a the SoulCycle.
178
00:06:52,154 --> 00:06:53,136
-[Homer] Woo-hoo!
-[car door closes]
179
00:06:53,155 --> 00:06:54,154
[tires screeching]
180
00:06:54,306 --> 00:06:55,580
What's wrong, Marge?
181
00:06:55,732 --> 00:06:59,084
Upset that you're going to be the only woman in town
182
00:06:59,161 --> 00:07:01,586
stuck with an overweight hubby?
183
00:07:01,663 --> 00:07:03,905
What?! No, of course not.
184
00:07:03,982 --> 00:07:05,382
Am I?
185
00:07:09,004 --> 00:07:11,263
-Ow!
-You love Homer, I get it.
186
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:13,990
But obesity is
a major health risk.
187
00:07:14,009 --> 00:07:16,326
I should know, I'm in medicine.
188
00:07:16,328 --> 00:07:18,920
Actually, you are medicine.
189
00:07:18,997 --> 00:07:20,180
Good one, yeah.
190
00:07:20,256 --> 00:07:22,274
So maybe you do want him
to change.
191
00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:25,351
Wouldn't it be hotter
if he looked like this?
192
00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:27,094
Ooh.
193
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,838
Something for both of you.
194
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,283
A six-pack and a washboard.
195
00:07:31,359 --> 00:07:32,617
[laughs]
196
00:07:32,694 --> 00:07:36,846
Or you could just let things go
as they are and...
197
00:07:36,848 --> 00:07:39,532
♪
198
00:07:39,534 --> 00:07:40,625
[gasps]
199
00:07:40,777 --> 00:07:42,169
Yeah.
200
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:46,356
[gasps]
201
00:07:46,358 --> 00:07:48,041
Homer, Homer, wake up!
202
00:07:48,117 --> 00:07:49,468
I need you.
203
00:07:49,544 --> 00:07:50,785
For snuggling?
204
00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:52,362
Talking, talking.
205
00:07:52,364 --> 00:07:54,639
Oh, uh, that's just as good.
206
00:07:54,791 --> 00:07:55,790
Totally.
207
00:07:55,867 --> 00:07:57,142
Please continue.
208
00:07:57,293 --> 00:07:58,384
I've been thinking.
209
00:07:58,461 --> 00:08:00,962
Maybe you should try
to get down to...
210
00:08:00,964 --> 00:08:02,964
fun size again.
211
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,208
But I thought you loved me
for who I am.
212
00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:07,301
I do, but I want you to see
213
00:08:07,379 --> 00:08:09,395
Lisa graduate from college.
214
00:08:09,472 --> 00:08:12,732
And see Bart get
a good deal on a used car.
215
00:08:12,809 --> 00:08:15,552
Please take the medicine.
216
00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:17,220
Okay, okay, I'll do it.
217
00:08:17,222 --> 00:08:18,905
Oh, thank you, thank you.
218
00:08:18,982 --> 00:08:21,500
Now it's snuggling time.
219
00:08:22,427 --> 00:08:24,019
-[Homer and Marge moaning]
-[groans]
220
00:08:24,021 --> 00:08:26,463
[retches] I hate having eyes
that can't blink.
221
00:08:31,069 --> 00:08:33,419
Oh, I tried everything
to lose weight.
222
00:08:33,421 --> 00:08:36,072
I hired personal chefs,
consulted the best doctors,
223
00:08:36,074 --> 00:08:38,016
as well as Dr. Phil
and Dr. Oz.
224
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:41,094
I even bought
a weight loss company.
225
00:08:41,246 --> 00:08:42,929
You know, normal people stuff.
226
00:08:42,931 --> 00:08:45,006
But nothing worked
227
00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:48,026
until I got on Othinquic.
228
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,253
And now check this out.
229
00:08:50,255 --> 00:08:53,031
-[audience cheering]
-I'm as thin as I was
230
00:08:53,108 --> 00:08:56,092
on the night my boyfriend
Steadfast proposed.
231
00:08:56,094 --> 00:08:58,278
But this is permanent...
232
00:08:58,354 --> 00:09:00,038
unless the drug stops working.
233
00:09:00,189 --> 00:09:02,189
Which you better hope
it doesn't,
234
00:09:02,267 --> 00:09:05,268
because you're all going on it.
235
00:09:05,270 --> 00:09:06,936
Look under your seats!
236
00:09:06,938 --> 00:09:09,381
[cheering, clamoring]
237
00:09:10,609 --> 00:09:14,386
You get a waistline.
You get a waistline.
238
00:09:14,462 --> 00:09:16,629
Oh, I'm so generous
that it doesn't matter
239
00:09:16,706 --> 00:09:18,281
that I'm not humble.
240
00:09:18,283 --> 00:09:21,709
And remember,
only read books I like.
241
00:09:21,787 --> 00:09:23,377
That drug is a miracle.
242
00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:25,713
So when did you two go on it?
243
00:09:25,715 --> 00:09:27,457
Uh... we didn't.
244
00:09:27,459 --> 00:09:30,885
We lost this weight by exercise
and eating in moderation.
245
00:09:30,962 --> 00:09:32,237
Right, moderation.
246
00:09:32,314 --> 00:09:33,963
Also, we quit smoking.
247
00:09:33,965 --> 00:09:36,057
That helps people lose
weight, right?
248
00:09:36,134 --> 00:09:38,076
No, actually--
249
00:09:38,153 --> 00:09:40,653
Besides, our fiancés love it.
250
00:09:40,655 --> 00:09:41,913
-Eh?
-[Patty] Eh.
251
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,139
Fiancés?
252
00:09:43,158 --> 00:09:44,583
You're getting married?
253
00:09:44,659 --> 00:09:46,476
Yep. To people from work.
254
00:09:46,478 --> 00:09:48,086
Never interested in them before.
255
00:09:48,163 --> 00:09:50,496
Because they were chubbos.
256
00:09:50,573 --> 00:09:52,498
And how did they lose weight?
257
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,167
Eating in moderation.
258
00:09:54,169 --> 00:09:56,169
Well, even if they did
take that drug,
259
00:09:56,171 --> 00:09:58,412
I don't think
they need to be ashamed.
260
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:01,916
Homer's seeing the doctor
about getting on it right now.
261
00:10:01,993 --> 00:10:04,085
Homer?
Huh, they better find a needle
262
00:10:04,087 --> 00:10:06,587
strong enough
to get through hippo hide.
263
00:10:06,665 --> 00:10:09,107
I'm sorry you don't have
a husband with the willpower
264
00:10:09,184 --> 00:10:12,110
to lose weight naturally,
like us.
265
00:10:12,187 --> 00:10:14,020
Yeah, by the way, Marge,
266
00:10:14,097 --> 00:10:16,840
can we each borrow $900 a month?
267
00:10:16,842 --> 00:10:17,982
It's for, um...
268
00:10:18,059 --> 00:10:19,767
uh... vegetables.
269
00:10:19,845 --> 00:10:21,119
And yoga pants.
270
00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:24,030
If we miss
one dose of yoga pants,
271
00:10:24,107 --> 00:10:26,532
we balloon right back up.
272
00:10:26,534 --> 00:10:27,626
-Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.
273
00:10:30,038 --> 00:10:31,688
$900 a month?
274
00:10:31,690 --> 00:10:32,964
Why is it so expensive?
275
00:10:33,041 --> 00:10:34,540
Health insurance
stopped covering it,
276
00:10:34,617 --> 00:10:36,301
and the pharmacies are
out of stock.
277
00:10:36,378 --> 00:10:38,786
Their first priority are
the people who need it the most.
278
00:10:38,864 --> 00:10:40,363
The people who are
actually sick?
279
00:10:40,365 --> 00:10:42,623
No, A-list Hollywood stars.
280
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,884
It's their most difficult
time of the year.
281
00:10:44,961 --> 00:10:46,202
Awards season.
282
00:10:46,204 --> 00:10:47,812
So where did you get yours?
283
00:10:47,889 --> 00:10:49,055
Oh, oh, I'm not on it.
284
00:10:49,057 --> 00:10:50,649
I-I lost this weight naturally.
285
00:10:50,725 --> 00:10:54,394
As a doctor, I know the value
of diet and exercise.
286
00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:55,987
You've been a doctor
for 20 years.
287
00:10:56,139 --> 00:10:57,714
Why didn't you
lose weight before?
288
00:10:57,716 --> 00:10:58,990
[laughs]
289
00:10:59,067 --> 00:11:00,641
Get out.
290
00:11:00,719 --> 00:11:03,203
[townspeople groaning]
291
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,912
Do you have Othinquic?
292
00:11:12,914 --> 00:11:15,489
No, just Sudafed, NyQuil,
293
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:18,584
and one of the hardest things of
all to get out of a drugstore:
294
00:11:18,661 --> 00:11:20,011
razor blades.
295
00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:22,597
-[laughs]
-[sighs]
296
00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:25,183
I've, uh, heard you're looking
297
00:11:25,334 --> 00:11:27,852
for a certain
weight-loss vaccine.
298
00:11:27,929 --> 00:11:29,020
You got cash?
299
00:11:29,097 --> 00:11:30,337
Does anyone anymore?
300
00:11:30,415 --> 00:11:32,265
Not to worry, we take the Venmo.
301
00:11:32,341 --> 00:11:34,693
And occasionally the Zelle.
302
00:11:34,769 --> 00:11:36,269
But never the Cash App.
303
00:11:36,345 --> 00:11:38,938
They offer the Bitcoin
but not the Ethereum.
304
00:11:39,090 --> 00:11:41,366
How am I supposed to arbitrage
between the two?
305
00:11:41,517 --> 00:11:42,701
Forget about it!
306
00:11:42,777 --> 00:11:43,743
Hmm.
307
00:11:47,265 --> 00:11:50,283
Here you go.
Pure, uncut Othinquic.
308
00:11:50,359 --> 00:11:53,436
Guaranteed to reduce
the labonza.
309
00:11:53,438 --> 00:11:56,940
It's the anti-antipasto.
310
00:11:56,942 --> 00:11:58,365
Where did you get this?
311
00:11:58,367 --> 00:12:01,794
Let's just say
a truck lost a little weight
312
00:12:01,796 --> 00:12:04,389
passing through Springfield.
313
00:12:04,466 --> 00:12:06,207
Wait a minute,
I thought you don't get high
314
00:12:06,209 --> 00:12:08,042
on your own supply.
315
00:12:08,119 --> 00:12:10,954
I personally lost this weight
316
00:12:10,956 --> 00:12:13,639
through diet and exercise.
317
00:12:13,716 --> 00:12:15,216
Even you lie about it?
318
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,144
If you can't trust godfathers,
who can you trust?
319
00:12:18,221 --> 00:12:19,887
I don't cheat on diets.
320
00:12:19,965 --> 00:12:22,574
I would never cheat on anything,
321
00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:24,701
except my wife.
322
00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:31,065
♪ Weight-loss drug ♪
323
00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:35,478
♪ Drop a size without exercise ♪
324
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,998
♪ When I put a spike into my leg ♪
325
00:12:39,075 --> 00:12:42,335
♪ I get full from just one egg ♪
326
00:12:42,411 --> 00:12:46,914
♪ Eating hot dogs with no bun ♪
327
00:12:46,992 --> 00:12:50,393
♪ Half a sandwich and I'm done ♪
328
00:12:52,497 --> 00:12:55,440
♪ And I eat but I just don't gorge ♪
329
00:12:55,517 --> 00:13:00,019
♪ I can see my feet 'cause I just don't gorge. ♪
330
00:13:00,096 --> 00:13:01,279
[sighs]
331
00:13:01,430 --> 00:13:03,856
What happened to these people?
332
00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:06,676
They look fabulous, right?
333
00:13:06,678 --> 00:13:07,844
They look sad.
334
00:13:07,846 --> 00:13:09,120
Maybe it's all that loose skin
335
00:13:09,197 --> 00:13:11,289
sagging from their faces.
336
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:15,351
Hey, getting Othinquic face is
one of the few negative effects.
337
00:13:15,370 --> 00:13:18,630
And you can always fix that
with injections of body fat.
338
00:13:18,781 --> 00:13:21,207
Trust me, I'm a wonder drug.
339
00:13:21,359 --> 00:13:23,860
The more I see,
the more I wonder.
340
00:13:23,878 --> 00:13:24,969
Okay, boomer.
341
00:13:25,046 --> 00:13:27,472
Look, weight loss is healthy.
342
00:13:27,549 --> 00:13:28,881
No matter how.
343
00:13:28,958 --> 00:13:31,717
We've done a lot of research.
344
00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:32,960
On safety?
345
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,053
On profits.
346
00:13:34,130 --> 00:13:37,206
The profits are 100% safe.
347
00:13:37,208 --> 00:13:39,818
And we'll find out the dangers
sooner or later.
348
00:13:39,894 --> 00:13:41,894
After everyone's already on it?
349
00:13:41,971 --> 00:13:44,614
Including my husband?
350
00:13:46,734 --> 00:13:50,219
Exactly. The most enormous
beta test of all time.
351
00:13:50,221 --> 00:13:52,722
And you lab rats are paying us
to be in it.
352
00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:54,833
Patetiske taber.
353
00:13:54,909 --> 00:13:57,410
Which means "suckers."
354
00:13:57,562 --> 00:13:59,504
Homer!
355
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:04,400
Dad, are you sure
you want to do this?
356
00:14:04,402 --> 00:14:08,120
As sure as I was that I didn't
want to do it yesterday.
357
00:14:08,272 --> 00:14:11,182
In that case, I support you,
but just barely.
358
00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:13,351
That's what Dad's chair says.
359
00:14:13,502 --> 00:14:14,853
Oh, man.
360
00:14:14,929 --> 00:14:17,171
I'm gonna miss making fat jokes.
361
00:14:17,248 --> 00:14:19,023
You'll still have bald jokes.
362
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:21,067
It's not the same.
363
00:14:22,087 --> 00:14:23,586
Goodbye, my love handles.
364
00:14:23,588 --> 00:14:25,679
You'll be in heaven
with my back fat,
365
00:14:25,757 --> 00:14:27,256
my triple chin, and my...
366
00:14:27,258 --> 00:14:29,183
[sobs] finger chub.
367
00:14:29,260 --> 00:14:31,594
Stop, Homer! Stop!
368
00:14:31,613 --> 00:14:32,778
Huh?
369
00:14:32,780 --> 00:14:34,873
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
370
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:36,040
You're throwing it out?
371
00:14:36,192 --> 00:14:37,617
But you wanted me to take it.
372
00:14:37,693 --> 00:14:38,710
I was wrong.
373
00:14:38,786 --> 00:14:40,269
I know it's the hot new trend,
374
00:14:40,288 --> 00:14:42,788
but so were fanny packs,
tramp stamps,
375
00:14:42,941 --> 00:14:44,774
and Teslas.
376
00:14:44,776 --> 00:14:45,942
[Homer groans]
377
00:14:45,944 --> 00:14:47,793
I usually cover this
with my fanny pack.
378
00:14:47,870 --> 00:14:50,704
But I thought you were worried
about us growing old together.
379
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:52,465
Of course I want that.
380
00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:55,226
But what's even more important
is that you're here with us
381
00:14:55,303 --> 00:14:59,063
right now
and we can move on safely.
382
00:14:59,958 --> 00:15:01,140
Hey, what are you doing?
383
00:15:01,217 --> 00:15:04,460
Homer, as the only
overweight man left in town,
384
00:15:04,462 --> 00:15:07,647
you have something
that we desperately need.
385
00:15:07,649 --> 00:15:10,074
You're kidnapping my husband?
386
00:15:10,151 --> 00:15:11,968
Think of it as a side effect
387
00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:14,746
of not taking weight-loss drugs.
388
00:15:14,897 --> 00:15:16,122
Andiamo.
389
00:15:16,975 --> 00:15:18,324
No, no, no, no!
390
00:15:18,401 --> 00:15:20,084
He's too fat to fit in the car.
391
00:15:20,161 --> 00:15:22,011
Put him in the trunk.
392
00:15:22,013 --> 00:15:24,664
He's too fat
to fit in the trunk.
393
00:15:24,816 --> 00:15:26,573
Lash him to the roof.
394
00:15:26,651 --> 00:15:28,593
Uh, we're gonna need more rope.
395
00:15:28,670 --> 00:15:32,221
[shouting in Italian]
396
00:15:36,828 --> 00:15:37,827
[Homer mutters sleepily]
397
00:15:37,829 --> 00:15:38,828
Ooh, pork chops.
398
00:15:38,830 --> 00:15:39,996
Aah, Fat Tony!
399
00:15:40,014 --> 00:15:41,588
Ooh, pork chops.
400
00:15:41,666 --> 00:15:44,183
We need your fat
to fill in our faces.
401
00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:47,111
So we can look eternally young
like the Real Housewives,
402
00:15:47,188 --> 00:15:48,688
who don't look real
403
00:15:48,764 --> 00:15:51,857
and spend all their time
outside of the house.
404
00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:54,010
Now eat. Mangia.
405
00:15:54,028 --> 00:15:56,846
What you said makes me
almost not want to eat.
406
00:15:56,848 --> 00:15:58,864
The police are gonna be furious.
407
00:15:59,017 --> 00:16:00,366
Actually, uh, no we're not.
408
00:16:00,518 --> 00:16:01,517
Come on, swallow.
409
00:16:01,536 --> 00:16:03,777
Can't wait to get
your ass in my face.
410
00:16:03,855 --> 00:16:05,446
You monster! [swallows]
411
00:16:05,523 --> 00:16:07,373
Wait till the mayor
hears about this.
412
00:16:07,450 --> 00:16:08,967
Oh, believe me, I know.
413
00:16:09,043 --> 00:16:11,285
Slim Tony and I are in cahoots.
414
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,954
The mayor in league
with the mob?
415
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,640
I'm happy to reach
across the aisle,
416
00:16:15,717 --> 00:16:17,883
as long as it's not
with the members
417
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,626
of another political party.
418
00:16:19,704 --> 00:16:20,979
[tires screech]
419
00:16:21,055 --> 00:16:22,963
[Marge]
Give me back my husband!
420
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:25,483
[all shouting, clamoring]
421
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,210
Look who's here--
422
00:16:27,212 --> 00:16:30,213
Little Miss Thin without Having
to Take Drugs.
423
00:16:30,215 --> 00:16:31,823
Which none of us take.
424
00:16:33,309 --> 00:16:36,736
You're just jealous because
we're more beautiful than you.
425
00:16:36,812 --> 00:16:38,738
[shouting]
426
00:16:39,741 --> 00:16:42,742
Now, out of the way,
because for the first time ever,
427
00:16:42,818 --> 00:16:45,061
we want your husband.
428
00:16:45,063 --> 00:16:47,563
Well, I'm taking
my husband back.
429
00:16:47,565 --> 00:16:49,007
You and what army?
430
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:51,158
[Luigi]
This-a army!
431
00:16:51,236 --> 00:16:52,826
[tires screeching]
432
00:16:52,828 --> 00:16:55,071
We are the true victims
of Ozempic--
433
00:16:55,073 --> 00:16:57,181
I mean, eh, eh, Othinquic.
434
00:16:57,258 --> 00:17:00,243
The hard working a-people
who make-a your food.
435
00:17:00,245 --> 00:17:01,594
And who pour your damn drinks.
436
00:17:01,596 --> 00:17:04,597
You think you could operate
a beer tap by yourself?
437
00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:05,857
Yes, you could.
438
00:17:05,933 --> 00:17:08,342
So, uh,
where am I going with this?
439
00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:10,753
These-a drugs don't-a
just stop your eating.
440
00:17:10,755 --> 00:17:13,606
They stop-a
all of your compulsive behavior.
441
00:17:13,758 --> 00:17:16,683
And compulsive behavior
is-a the only reason
442
00:17:16,761 --> 00:17:18,277
anybody eats-a spaghetti.
443
00:17:18,354 --> 00:17:21,021
It's-a like worms
with less-a nutrients.
444
00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:22,281
Hypocrito.
445
00:17:22,358 --> 00:17:24,191
Criticizing us
when you're clearly
446
00:17:24,269 --> 00:17:26,193
riding the O-train yourself.
447
00:17:26,271 --> 00:17:28,971
I'm-a not-a taking the drugs.
448
00:17:28,973 --> 00:17:32,625
Yeah, we know:
"Diet and exercise."
449
00:17:32,627 --> 00:17:35,127
No! I lost-a weight legitimately
450
00:17:35,204 --> 00:17:36,962
from-a severe depression.
451
00:17:37,115 --> 00:17:39,282
You, you're-a ruining my life.
452
00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:42,226
[both shouting in Italian]
453
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,808
Homer, they took your tuchus!
454
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,217
[screams]
455
00:17:50,219 --> 00:17:51,811
You can't leave me like this.
456
00:17:51,963 --> 00:17:53,646
I'm like the Batman villain
Two-Face,
457
00:17:53,798 --> 00:17:56,482
beautiful on one side
and hideous on the other.
458
00:17:56,559 --> 00:17:57,666
Uh...
459
00:17:57,668 --> 00:17:59,560
Which is
the beautiful side again?
460
00:17:59,637 --> 00:18:03,063
Here's a thought: maybe you can
all stop taking the drug.
461
00:18:03,141 --> 00:18:04,749
If I knew the meaning
of the word "stop,"
462
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,085
I would not be taking it. Der.
463
00:18:07,161 --> 00:18:08,661
Look at your faces.
464
00:18:08,663 --> 00:18:10,146
Mm...
465
00:18:10,148 --> 00:18:11,163
Let me try.
466
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,983
I've had more experience
addressing mobs.
467
00:18:13,985 --> 00:18:15,593
♪
468
00:18:17,171 --> 00:18:19,822
I am the last fat man
in Springfield.
469
00:18:19,824 --> 00:18:21,582
And while I can't see my feet,
470
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,826
I can see something else.
471
00:18:23,828 --> 00:18:26,679
You are all unhappy.
472
00:18:26,681 --> 00:18:29,273
-Love people for
what's inside...
-Mm-hmm.
473
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:32,092
...lots of delicious food.
474
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:35,004
And admire the ingenuity
of the American chemist,
475
00:18:35,006 --> 00:18:37,431
who has designed potato chips
that make you hungrier,
476
00:18:37,508 --> 00:18:39,433
sodas that makes you thirstier,
477
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,453
all-you-can-eat restaurants that
make you never feel full again.
478
00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:46,124
We sit eating food,
watching TV about food,
479
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,867
with commercials
480
00:18:47,943 --> 00:18:49,535
for more food!
481
00:18:49,612 --> 00:18:52,779
[all chanting]
Food-S-A! Food-S-A!
482
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:56,617
Gol'darnit! Replace the word
"America" with the word "Texas,"
483
00:18:56,619 --> 00:18:59,286
and I agree
with everything you said.
484
00:18:59,288 --> 00:19:01,288
[all cheering, clamoring]
485
00:19:01,366 --> 00:19:02,974
I'm getting off this stuff.
486
00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:05,143
And back on statins,
antidepressants,
487
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:07,728
mood elevators,
and useless vitamins.
488
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,649
Is my old table available?
489
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,559
Yes-a, yes and the gun
490
00:19:13,561 --> 00:19:15,969
is still-a
behind-a the toilet for you.
491
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,804
[speaking Italian]
492
00:19:17,806 --> 00:19:19,574
Is a happy end.
493
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,812
Patty and Selma
gained back the weight
494
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,665
and lost the fiancés.
495
00:19:27,742 --> 00:19:31,151
They're doing a group sologamy
celebration instead.
496
00:19:31,229 --> 00:19:33,487
Salami celebration, what's that?
497
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,081
It's when a person
marries themselves,
498
00:19:36,158 --> 00:19:38,567
but there'll be two of them
doing it together.
499
00:19:38,569 --> 00:19:40,011
But not to be together.
500
00:19:40,087 --> 00:19:41,828
Even though they live together.
501
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,072
Good night, sweetheart.
502
00:19:43,074 --> 00:19:44,223
Mwah.
503
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:52,339
So what are you going to wear?
504
00:19:52,417 --> 00:19:54,917
That strapless black dress,
right?
505
00:19:54,919 --> 00:19:57,028
Well, it's from
before I had kids.
506
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,030
I doubt it still fits.
507
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,699
The ceremony is still
a month away.
508
00:20:01,776 --> 00:20:05,352
And I'm exactly
a month's supply.
509
00:20:05,430 --> 00:20:08,855
After everything I've seen,
why should I trust you?
510
00:20:08,933 --> 00:20:10,374
It's just a month.
511
00:20:10,526 --> 00:20:11,934
One and done.
512
00:20:11,936 --> 00:20:15,213
Hmm, I would love
to wear that dress.
513
00:20:17,533 --> 00:20:19,199
Whoa, ooh.
514
00:20:19,201 --> 00:20:21,344
I feel a little nauseous.
515
00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:24,037
Why is everything black?
516
00:20:24,115 --> 00:20:25,464
Did I lose my vision?
517
00:20:25,616 --> 00:20:27,132
[syringe] Blindness is
a side effect, but that's
518
00:20:27,209 --> 00:20:28,784
only three percent of cases.
519
00:20:28,786 --> 00:20:31,712
♪ Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic. ♪
520
00:20:31,789 --> 00:20:33,806
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
521
00:20:33,882 --> 00:20:35,733
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
522
00:20:35,810 --> 00:20:37,309
and TOYOTA.
523
00:20:37,386 --> 00:20:39,028
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
524
00:20:43,468 --> 00:20:45,409
♪ Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic ♪
525
00:20:45,561 --> 00:20:47,470
♪ You know ♪
526
00:20:47,472 --> 00:20:50,230
♪ You might lose your big toe ♪
527
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:55,478
♪ Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic, beware ♪
528
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,755
♪ You might lose all your hair ♪
529
00:20:57,832 --> 00:21:01,000
♪ Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic ♪
530
00:21:01,076 --> 00:21:04,003
♪ You cough ♪
531
00:21:04,079 --> 00:21:06,322
♪ Then your kidneys fall off ♪
532
00:21:06,324 --> 00:21:09,008
♪ Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic ♪
533
00:21:09,084 --> 00:21:11,435
♪ You'll die ♪
534
00:21:11,587 --> 00:21:13,829
♪ But you'll be thin, so don't cry ♪
535
00:21:13,831 --> 00:21:17,016
♪ Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic ♪
536
00:21:17,092 --> 00:21:22,071
♪ You know, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. ♪
537
00:21:22,931 --> 00:21:24,031
Shh.
37992
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