Original subtitles

Good marriage, lust… Right.

-Are you ready? -Sure.

-Camera's on. -Wait, wait.

-Fuck, I'm nervous. And I need to piss. -Come on.

-Do you see this? Is it good? -Perfect.

Camera.

Sound? Wait. You can't be serious.

Jos. Switch off the lawnmower. We're recording.

Film this. He probably forgot.

Nine out of ten he forgot about it. I know what he's like.

-Guys, what is this? Steve? -He forgot about it.

We've come to record.

You done?

Thanks, Jos.

I said "thanks".

That Jos, really.

Come on. I'm running.

And action.

Family is like a romantic movie.

Warm,

emotional,

but above all…

real.

Jakke, is it running? Sound? And action.

Mom and Dad, family…

Family is family.

Fuck, I don't know what to say. What did you say?

And just like in the movies, our family has lots of comical types.

One is looking for his son. Nemo, from Finding Nemo.

I don't know about film. Should I talk about film?

Carl, just say something interesting about family. It's not that hard.

Mom and Dad, did you know that one in three murders takes place…

Carl.

A type that is bothered by his ring. Frodo, from Lord of the Rings.

We all know the feeling. Rings can bother you.

Really. It's just family.

-Alright, alright. -And…

I have a brother, Steve.

And we had a sister, Anouk.

But she's dead.

So now all we have is the children and Rik.

Dear Bob and Greta, 40 years is a long time.

40 YEARS OF LOVE

When Anouk and I were fed up with all the work and the children,

and the cancer, we looked at you

and said to each other,

"That's how we'll do it."

The secret of a good marriage is to keep surprising each other.

Be surprised like a child. Always cherish your inner child.

So…

look at each other lustfully…

but like a child.

So I'm a child, but you look at me lustfully?

No.

Your inner child is very important,

but having a child is even more important.

Absolutely, and we're working on it.

It's a work in progress.

That was too much. We'll cut that out.

-Now you'll make a movie out of it. -My best one ever.

Oh, when I'm with you,

it's the only place I can be myself.

Where someone really listens.

-If God is love… -Great film.

-…we must be god-like. -Beautifully filmed, eh?

Laura, this should stop.

-Here it comes. -I love you too much.

-I can't stand it anymore. -Turn it up.

Bang.

Everyone's sobbing.

Man, that touches my heart.

Oh, damn it.

Oh yeah.

What a great profession this is.

That's why these moments mean so much to me.

So thank you, everyone.

HAPPINESS NOW FOR SALE

-I'm here for you, Lucy. -Thank you.

For all your desires.

And lusts.

Right. Thank you,

Lucy.

Like I say in chapter four, To Act Is To Take a Mental Stroll:

Misfortune comes naturally.

Sooner or later we all get our share. Misery, discomfort.

It's out of our control.

But what we do have control over, I think, is happiness.

Happiness is often the result of a simple act.

You're very much focused on your misfortune

and not enough on experiencing your fortune.

Just look at our language. How many words do you know for happiness? Jos.

-Bliss. -Very good. Anyone?

-Joy. -Satisfaction.

-Glory. -Satisfaction.

-Sex. -Satisfaction.

Good sex. When I'm fucking, there's…

Yes, alright. Thank you, Hans.

In Sanskrit, the classical language of India,

there are more than 15 words for various degrees of happiness.

More than 15. And we're limited, sorry Jef,

to "satisfaction".

What does that say about us?

-Sorry. -We should be there on time.

Come.

-Are you alright? -Yes, I…

I don't know how to tell them.

It'll work out.

Come.

Could you put these bags in the car?

Bye.

Hi.

Oh, man.

What a bunch of depressiveness.

Well, they're all people.

They just need some guidance and warmth.

Take them to my new film, that'll warm them up.

-What time should we be in the clinic? -Now.

-Hi, Pieter. -Hey, Rik.

-How is it going? -Swimmingly.

And how's Plain?

It can happen any moment now. We're there day and night.

-Exciting. Keep me posted. -Sure.

See you.

-Hi, Linda. -Hi, Rik.

-A pancake with jam? -How did you know?

And a coffee, eh?

Half and half.

Oh, don't you want coffee today?

I do. Sorry.

That was a joke. I meant a coffee half-and-half.

-I want perfection. -Yes, chef.

Carl, I'm thinking of giving you more responsibility.

This is enough responsibility.

When you came in, I didn't think much of you. But you're a goddamn talent.

-Thank you. -Next week you'll be my new sous-chef.

-I don't know if I'm ready for that. -I had my own business at your age.

Discipline, Carl. Responsibility.

You gotta have balls!

Paul, goddammit. You're butchering that Wagyu beef.

You jerk. Do you know what that costs?

Okay, Lo. What's the verdict?

-Well, to be-- -Objection, your Honor.

No, seriously, tell me. How is my sperm?

-And above all, did you like the taste? -Act normal, will you?

Tell us, Lodewijk.

Is something wrong?

Well…

No.

I'm sorry, but your sperm

-is in a bad shape. -So it's lazy?

Well, more like…

dead.

You should see it as… How shall I put it?

Your sperm is…

It's dead.

Dead sperm.

Really?

Are you sure? Maybe it had a bad day. We're all dead tired now and then.

No, sorry.

Could it be the erotic film you gave me to fill that container? It was really bad.

No Steve, that can't be the cause.

-So dead sperm. -Yes.

Fuck.

So that's it then.

Not necessarily. There are other options, of course.

What, adoption?

For instance. But that's a long and difficult process.

I was thinking more of insemination with donor sperm.

Sperm of another man.

Of a donor, yes.

What the fuck, Carl.

To the kitchen. We're in the middle of service.

-Harald, it's not what you think. -It isn't?

I think you fucked my wife.

Well, then maybe it is what you think.

Don't think you'll ever find a job anywhere, you damn asshole.

Hi, darling.

Today was a good day.

Plain still won't deliver.

Sometimes mothers don't want to part with their little one.

But you know all about that, of course.

I ate a pancake and drank a coffee half-and-half at Linda's.

Not my thing. The coffee, I mean, not Linda.

Linda, she's…

She has your smile, actually.

I miss you.

God, I miss you so.

It's going to be so nice.

And having to go to the hospital time after time, it's not a good idea.

I think we should do it.

Really, the sperm bank? Darling, it's one big Russian roulette.

You have no idea what they put inside you. It can be anybody's sperm.

You don't know anything about his education or social background.

-Who knows what color comes out. -Please. You do have a choice.

And I want the best of the best. I want Nobel Prize-winning sperm.

I can do it myself, at home. There's nothing wrong with me.

You can set your watch by my cycle.

-And I have no say in this? -You want a child as well, right?

We want a child.

Right, we do. Not some clown who fills a container to earn 20 euros.

-I want a child that's ours. -That's not possible.

And a child isn't yours or mine. They're their own person.

I had imagined this totally differently, that's all.

I know, dear. Me too.

You know I come from a horrible family

and I'm so happy and grateful to be part of yours.

Look at me.

I want a family of my own.

Fuck, I'm starving.

Can I have a taste?

Unbelievable. He's always late.

Take it easy.

But it's true. If I had provided the food, we'd be eating now.

But no, Carl had to do it because he works in a fancy restaurant.

Darling, take it easy, alright?

-Tell us something about America. -What, America?

They want to do an American remake of De afvallige.

The Apostate. Does that sound good or what?

Steve…

-Congrats. -Thank you.

And rightly so. It was a great film.

-I think it's your best. -Thanks. I need to go there soon.

Erik Van Looy, eat your heart out.

There will come a time when you conquer America.

And the sequel will be even better.

If you finish it.

-Problems? -No, no. It's just not finished yet.

Those aren't problems. We're still working on the score.

You know, there's film and then there's film film.

And I want it to be film film, see?

I'd finally like to grab those fucking reviewers by their throats.

-What's the score? -The music.

Must you do that as well?

Of course. I'm the director, Mom. I do everything.

-Am I much too late? -Not much later than usual, Carl.

Hi, Billie. Stevie, will you help me unload?

Sure, my man. Right, that's all we needed.

I'm coming.

It'll be a while before we eat.

-You're eating. -This isn't eating.

Oh man, that's good.

-He's the best. -Watch it, Dad.

Watch it, boy.

How are things, Rik?

Busy as always.

It's an exciting time now that Plain is pregnant.

-Plain? -She's a tapir.

She's pregnant. Always a special time.

A tapir, huh?

-From "tapis-plain"? -Yes.

Is that good or what?

-What else? -It's alright.

The monkeys still do their monkey business.

Rik, you know what I mean.

It's been two years now, Carl. Life goes on, apparently.

But hey,

they should thank their lucky stars you work in that restaurant.

-I've been fired today. -What's that? Why?

I couldn't keep my hands off my boss's wife.

What?

So what will you do now? I mean…

-You can't… You should cook. -I'm cooking.

But not here. Cooking for us, that's not the real thing.

You should talk. You're in the zoo.

So where else should I be?

You tell me. India, Tibet. I don't know.

Wherever the action is, monkey-wise. Here you go.

You like it, Steve?

Carl, you're too lazy to fart, but goddammit, you can cook.

Thank you.

Right…

I'm going to put those little ones to bed. They're half asleep.

I'll do it myself, Bob. Sit down.

When will you tell them?

Bye bye, good night.

-Good night. -Bye.

There, there.

Is something wrong with Dad?

-He's a bit sad. -What, a bit sad? Why?

Darling, easy. If you can't be sad, you can't be happy either.

Goddammit. She just comes up with those off the top of her head.

That's one to remember. You could have put it in your book.

Right?

-How many copies have you sold? -200,000. Why?

-I'm just curious. -You never ask anything out of curiosity.

-Why would I ask then? -I don't know, you tell me.

-I didn't mean anything by it. -You always mean something with anything.

Wait. "You always mean…"

How are things with you, romantically? And at work?

Well…

-Occupied. -Excuse me.

Sometimes it's like you're unconscious, or in a coma.

-What are you talking about? -Your mental state, Carl.

-You seem to muddle along. -Here we go.

I wonder when you will start living.

-What's wrong? -He got fired again.

-You're headed in the wrong direction. -I know.

-To us it wasn't a surprise. -It wasn't meant as one.

You'll be 40 soon. How sad is that? No relationship, no children. Nothing.

-You're not 25 anymore, right? -What do you mean by that?

Haven't you ever had doubts about life? If this is it?

Or if you wanted kids? Of course not, then you would have had them by now.

We can't have kids.

What's that?

Yes, Steve is infertile.

Well, that's out.

-That's so sad. -Yes, Mom.

Dead sperm, eh.

Darling, I'd like to get to it right away.

You call Lodewijk and tell him we'll do it so we can be screened.

Screened?

It's not an audition for a part in a film. This is about a child.

We have to find a man with the right sperm.

What are you doing?

It's a site with men who offer to be a donor.

This was really the best pork chop I've ever had.

-Hi, guys. -Steve.

Here, take a drag.

-What is it, Stevie? -Fuck, man.

Hey, what are you going to do now?

I don't know, actually.

If we do the sperm bank thing, the child will have nothing to do with me.

Neither inside nor out.

Maybe it's for the best if it's not too much like you.

That's true.

He's got to put in his two cents.

No, but the whole idea of children is that they're a bit like you, right?

That would be great, a mini-Steve.

Sounds like a car.

Now we'll get super sperm off of some perfect donor.

Who wants a perfect child? That's so boring.

What are you doing?

-Would you like some from me? -Some what?

-My sperm. -What's that?

Carl, don't be such a dirt bag. Jesus Christ, that's incest.

-That's not incest, come on. -It's not the opposite of incest either.

It sounds rather unsavory.

Think about it. I've got your genes, I'm a bit like you.

That's what you want, right?

There's nothing dirty about it. You know what's dirty? This.

-Fuck, man. -Easy, easy.

Bang. I've got another one.

Steve, take it easy. It's just a game.

Leave some for the children.

Okay, we'll do it.

-Do what? -What you said last night.

-What you offered. -Steve, we were stoned.

Alright, but you were right, Carl.

It's the only way to put something of me in her.

-It's mine and Billie's, see. -She'll never go for that.

Billie can never know.

And the great thing is, she doesn't fancy you. She even hates you.

Well, hate. That's an exaggeration.

What you offered yesterday… That was such a great moment, so pure.

-I don't know, Steve. -Come on.

We're brothers.

Family.

Our blood. Now that Anouk is gone, we need each other more than ever.

You. I need you.

Trust me.

It's the only way that I would be somewhat happy about.

And she'll never know. Because we keep it between us.

What do you think?

-Well… -I love you, man.

There's another one.

Come on, Carl. I can't draw it any clearer.

Sorry, I don't see it.

-A sense of community? -No.

Alas.

Ambition. It's super clear, right? Dear?

I thought it was a wash basin. No, really.

-That's ambition. -Typical, you can't guess "ambition".

-Come on, Dad. -I have something to tell you.

-No, you have to draw it. -I can't.

-Sure you can. That's the game. -This is something else.

Draw it, draw it.

Bob can never draw that.

Draw it, draw it.

The time starts now.

Alright, focus. I see two houses.

Houses. Neighborhood. The real estate market?

No.

A line, what is that? Oh, a street. An alley?

-Hedge, shrubs, separation. -Yes.

-Is that it? -Yes.

Separation, goddammit. Losers!

Mom and I are going to separate.

What?

Are things so bad between you? Is there someone else?

We've been married for 40 years. There has never been anyone else.

That's because we had a very interesting sex life.

-Mom, please. -Still do, sometimes.

Though it's a bit less exciting than it was.

Yes, Carl. Your parents have a sex life. What's so funny about that?

-I'm making a goddamn movie for you. -But that's your job.

No, especially for you.

I organized a huge party for your 40th wedding anniversary.

So Dad and I will pay you back.

Look, since Anouk…

Not since Anouk.

Anouk has nothing to do with it. This is about us.

We looked each other straight in the eyes.

It's over.

Between us.

We spoke in all honesty about what we wanted to do with our lives.

And for Dad, that's…

Go camping.

Camping?

-Maybe lead a more adventurous life. -Camping?

If Dad wants to go camping, he should do so.

-Go camping. -Yes.

-And I want to know what it feels like… -Bullshit, that's what it is. Right?

Steve, that's up to…

Bullshit, Rik. A load of bullshit.

Divorce, after 40 years of marriage.

Can't you just endure each other for another 10, 15 years?

-Steve, please. -Please, my ass.

Camping.

Goddammit.

Dad. All the best. See you soon.

Greta.

Thank you for everything.

I was so glad you came.

Stevie. Ciao, my man.

Who were you calling?

Lodewijk.

-He's found a great candidate. -Really?

But don't we pick one ourselves?

Darling, what's chapter seven of your book?

-What's that got to do with it? -What's chapter seven?

"Do we choose the choice or does the choice choose us?"

What? Is there no waiting list?

-Not for us. -Really?

So who has Lodewijk chosen?

Sorry dear, I think it's crazy.

We should make that choice. It's our child.

Billie, the child is its own person.

For all I know Lodewijk may be selling his own sperm.

Don't be silly.

No, it's some professor's. A scientist.

-A super smart guy. -Where from?

Where is he from?

Massachusetts.

Whereabouts in Massachusetts?

Worcester.

-Jesus, that's so far. -It will be worth it.

This is good, Bob. It'll make us grow.

-I don't need to grow anymore. -Everyone needs to.

Do be careful.

No. That's precisely what this is about.

You do something fun, something adventurous.

Alright?

Oh fuck, I was thirsty. Lo, everything alright with the wife?

Things are not going so well between Myriam and I.

-Oh dear. -Yes, well…

-Should I leave you guys alone? -No, it's not that important.

It's just…

-A phase? -Yes, maybe.

-Right, that was the last one. -Alrighty.

Lodewijk, thank you. Really. I owe you one.

-It's not exactly legal, is it? -No, it isn't.

You're right, it could cost me my job.

So why do you do it?

Well…

I can't refuse Steve anything. He's Steve.

Did you hear? But did you hear? That's what I call friendship.

-Friendship. -I have an idea.

Come along when I go to America.

-To do what? -Just take a break from it all, us two.

To thank you for this.

-Really? -Really. Because you're a good man.

Mind you, he's a good man. Who's a good man then?

Oh, he's such a good boy. Oh, so good.

Oh, that beard. Oh. So cute.

It's okay.

Right. If you could just pee in this.

-Do you need that to make a baby? -No, I'm thirsty.

He's thirsty.

-Well, thanks for minding him. -Of course. Anytime.

-Do we have to go to the theme park? -I know, but I promised him.

Suddenly I have to work, because of Plain. Everyone is putting in extra hours.

-Has the animal not given birth yet? -She's a tapir. And no, she hasn't.

Those animals take their time.

-I just told you, she's a tapir. -Hey, Patrick.

-Linda, Carl. Carl, Linda. -Hi.

Carl is my brother-in-law, the chef I told you about.

Ah, yes.

Linda bakes great pancakes.

-Not true. -Sure it is.

Oh, you. Rik is the only one who really likes my pancakes.

-That's not true. So many people do. -Is that so? Who?

But if you want help, he's free.

-Oh, really? But that would be-- -Well, I don't know if it's my thing.

Oh, you've worked in high class restaurants. Of course, I understand.

But if you ever change your mind…

I can't really cook.

My cream is melting, I think. Sorry, I have to go.

See you.

-Think about it. -I don't even know if I want to cook.

What is this?

Heavy, eh, a bag full of worries.

Still you carry that misery with you voluntarily.

Every day, year in, year out.

What if you would dump that bag somewhere?

It would make life much more easy.

We'll do another round.

Come on, Jef. You're doing great.

A waffle for you, sir? Liège style, Brussels style.

-I see you sell ice cream. -I sell everything.

I'll go crazy for once. What's your most adventurous flavor?

The most adventurous?

With a good mocha you can't go wrong.

I'd go for strawberry.

-Strawberry? -Yes. Make it two.

I can't seem to give that damn mocha away.

Yes, well… I'm on a course.

We have to fill them ourselves.

We can choose the amount.

But it should be in line with the dead weight you carry with you.

-In your live. -Here you go.

Thank you.

Is it a lot of dead weight?

Actually, yes.

But it could always be worse.

Are you going camping?

Yes. I want some more adventure in my life.

Great resolution.

Oh, I have to go.

Do you come here often?

-I do. -See you next time, then.

-Bob. -Lucy.

Bye, Indiana Jones.

-Say what? -Adventure. Indiana Jones.

Forget about it.

If you touch my wife again, I'll break your apostate priest limbs.

Understood?

Alright, pause it.

Yeah, babe.

What's that?

Now?

What, now? I can't just up and go.

Yes. Alright, alright.

So where is he?

Yo, Stevie.

-What's that? -It has to happen now.

-I'm in a theme park. -I don't care. It has to happen now.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Medical emergency.

Damn, how big is this park? Here you go.

-What, now? -Come on, get on with it.

What?

I'll mind him. Kids love me.

Want to go on the roller coaster?

Excuse me. Sorry.

Medical emergency.

Can I help you?

No.

I…

Fuck.

Damn it, where is he? It's not that hard, is it?

-Is it good? -Yes.

Oh, hey. Did it work out?

Eventually.

Alright… Boy. Carl.

-Well, did it work out? -Yes.

-Put this away. Keep it warm. -So much.

-And this is… Well, you know. -Yes.

Hey Lo, you know I appreciate this immensely, right?

-It's nothing. -Alright… Before it gets cold.

Good luck.

-Would you like to do it? -No. I would just spill it.

Did I tell you Jakke, René and I have decided

to leave out the music under the final scene?

So violins during the entire film, but in the end, dead quiet.

Billie, that's so innovating, so art house, so American.

-And European at the same time. -Dear, could you please hush?

-Alright, sorry. -Right, I'm pushing.

Discipline, Carl. Responsibility.

I wonder when you'll start living.

-You'll never work again. -You seem to muddle along.

-You're headed in the wrong direction. -Damn asshole.

-Take care, dear. -You know you can always call me.

And start searching for a loft. When my star starts rising…

It would be the first successful Loft in America.

-Come on, Steve. -Bye then.

Steve, don't I get a kiss?

I'll give you a proper one.

Alright.

Where are we going? New York!

See you on Thursday.

-Bye, Billie. -Bye, Jef.

Hey. What are you doing here?

I wanted to ask you something.

-Could I read your book? -Of course. How many copies?

Thank you. I've got the feeling it might help me.

Alright. You can join us on Thursday, if you like.

-I don't know. -See you Thursday then.

Yes. See you on Thursday.

Hi, Bob.

-Lucy, was it? -Yes, I still am her.

Well…

Bye.

Would you care to go for a walk some time?

I don't know. I'm actually…

Well, why not?

Alright. That's great.

It was great, this afternoon, at Linda's.

It's a pity though. No customers.

But the place does have potential.

-Great location. -Yes, Rik.

-What? -What, "what"?

-I know what you're doing. -I'm not doing anything.

I wanted to be a chef, not prepare sandwiches.

I wanted to be an archeologist. I mean…

Sometimes life just takes turns.

I wouldn't want to be anyone else but who I am now.

I would only want to be someone else.

I feel like I failed, Rik. As a human being. I'm nothing.

-Who says? -Nobody, but they all think it.

It's not true. And by the way, we've all failed.

I lost Anouk, Steve's sperm is dead and I don't know what Dad's up to.

We all muddle along.

But hey, a pig always has a good time in the mud, right?

Oh, my god. Lo, look.

Man, look at us.

Thanks, buddy.

But, Steve, isn't a limo a bit over the top?

-No, that's mandatory. -Mandatory.

-Come on, man. -What about your leather overalls?

What? It's New York, my friend.

Fuck it, you're right. Open the window.

This is New York!

-Hey, babe. -Hey.

-Is something the matter? -No. How are you?

New York is a fucking great city. I'm actually on my way to that meeting.

Are you still there? -Yeah. Shall I come too?

By the time you get here, I'll be flying back.

Let's stay longer then. We never do anything crazy.

-You still there? -Yes. It's not possible.

I need to finish the film. Everyone is angry because it's taking so long.

-Lo, I have to go. -Steve, are we ready for this?

I'm wearing the blue suit, right? It's more flashy.

Black is so dull.

Right? Billie? Are you there?

Sometimes I get the feeling we're growing apart, Steve.

-What? -The suit.

-Blue. -Yes, blue.

Dear, does this have to do with your course? I don't have much time.

Hello? Billie?

We're off, Lo.

How are you? Are you nervous?

I'm sorry.

Do you have any massage oil?

No, I don't.

I do have olive oil.

That's okay too.

Extra virgin.

That was alright, huh?

Right?

It did take some time.

Greta, it's new for me too. I have to adjust.

It's been years since I had a thing with an elderly woman.

I think you should better go.

I want to be alone.

Yes.

Yes, staying the night the first time would be…

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

-Hello? -Good evening, ma'am. Local police.

Is this Billie De Jaegher?

Are you Greta De Jaegher's daughter?

Yes, she's my mother-in-law. My husband is abroad.

I'm calling because we found your mother in a fountain.

And I'd like to ask you…

Where?

-What? -Yes, I've been arrested.

-Wait. Say that again. -Your mother is in a fountain.

It was in Central Park.

I had someone jack me…

-Give me a hand job. -What?

I don't get it.

No…

-By a guy. -What?

What should I do?

Just come. Steve is in New York and I'm not bothering your dad with this.

Okay?

Can you come?

Yes, yes. No, I can manage. Alright.

I have to go.

-Is it bad? -I have no idea, but…

-I'll be back within half an hour. -I'll call Suzanne then.

-Suzanne. -My sister.

So we can do it together.

You and your sister. And me.

You go. If you come back, we'll be waiting for you.

Holy shit.

Steve! Steve!

Sorry, really. That guy said we could--

You're gay.

How long has this been going on?

For some time.

-And you didn't care to tell me. -Steve! Steve, sorry!

Is this what I brought you to America for? You have a wife at home.

Myriam and I…

It's over, Steve.

-Why didn't you tell me? -I'm sorry.

Steve, sorry.

-How was the meeting? -Good.

Very good.

Steve.

Steve!

-Mom, how are you? -Hey, Carl. She's in total shock.

I'll take her to the ambulance for a check-up. Will you come with me?

-What happened? -I don't know. She won't tell.

PLEASE COME X THE SISTERS

Mom, Billie is taking you home. Is that alright?

Yes, after the check-up she can go.

I don't want to go home. Bob mustn't know about this.

-She can stay with me. -Great. You can come with Billie.

Hey, Carl. I'd appreciate it if you came along.

Hey. She's your mother.

We'll put you to bed right away, Mom. Come.

I'll put the kettle on.

Not for me.

Right, Mom. Sleep well, I'll call you tomorrow.

Billie, I have to go. I've got another family thing going on at home.

Billie?

Billie?

Fuck.

Billie!

Hey. Billie?

What are you…

-What happened? -Why am I on the floor?

Carl, I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm here.

Don't worry.

It will all work out, alright?

-Please don't. It makes me so nervous. -Sorry.

Mr and Mrs De Jaegher? You can come along for the ultrasound.

Ultrasound, sound, sound.

Good luck, eh?

You can come along.

Well…

Isn't it a women thing?

I would actually appreciate it.

We're doing an internal ultrasound, so take off your pants

and just relax.

Alright.

Congratulations. I see an amniotic sac.

And this is the heart. It's beating.

Wait, I'll put the sound on.

Congratulations.

You too, sir.

He's got nothing to do with it.

LUCY: I HAD FUN WITH YOU ON THE FAIRGROUND

TO BE CONTINUED?

ABSOLUTELY X YOUR ADVENTURER

Yes, really fantastic. I heard the heart beat and all.

And the doctor said that everything--

What didn't go well?

So what did they say?

How was Steve?

His meeting didn't go well.

Fuck meetings. You're having a child. Nothing's more important than that.

-Thank you for tonight. -I didn't do anything.

-You were there. -Well…

Watch your sweater.

YOU'RE A JERK, ANNA PS: SUZANNE AGREES

-Hey. -Hey.

Is Linda here?

Yes.

-Linda? Linda. -Yes?

Hi, Carl.

So you want me to come and work here.

So that was the kitchen.

You can rearrange it the way you like.

You can really arrange it the way that suits you best.

That's what I said.

Hello, anybody home?

-You're crazy about her. -What? No, absolutely not.

-I get it. She's hot. -Come on, show some respect.

-Ask her out with respect. -You're crazy.

-Why not? -Why not? I'm married.

-Rik, it's been two years. -Hey, I'm married, alright?

-Hey. -Hey.

You know, when you paint the town red,

you do it like you mean it.

Please don't tell Bob about this.

I wouldn't know where to begin.

I've been so stupid.

I thought I was in love.

Who with?

Someone I met.

On Tinder.

-On Tinder? Come on, Greta. -I know. I know.

Wow.

And when you're in love, you climb in fountains?

No, I don't.

When Anouk was little, we'd often sit by a fountain when it was hot.

She always wanted to go in, but I wouldn't let her.

But she went in anyway.

Our Anouk really always did as she pleased.

I felt so alone yesterday.

And I wanted to be with my little girl.

I miss her so badly.

I'm sorry.

-Hi. -Hi.

For your mom?

No, for you.

-For me? -Yes. I thought, you're pregnant.

-You deserve some flowers. -Wow. Thanks.

And how did you know these are my favorite flowers?

You said so in your speech at your wedding.

That you used to have those in your garden,

and you went and sat there when your dad was being an asshole.

When you were crying in hospital, I thought they might ease your pain.

That's so sweet.

And the roses were really expensive.

Would you like to come in?

Sure.

Thank you.

-Hi. -What are you doing here?

-I live here. -But you were coming home in two days.

-What are you doing here? -I live here. What are you doing here?

Dear, it's not what you think. Carl, put your pants back on.

She's making stupid jokes all the time. Must be the hormones.

-Oh, I forgot. Your mom isn't well. -What?

Two days ago the police found her in a fountain.

But she's doing better now.

-Where is she now? -Upstairs.

-Here? -For a few days. That's alright, is it?

-What's wrong? -Nothing. Nothing at all.

Tell me about the meeting. Weren't they keen?

-They were raving. -Darling, how was America?

-Mom, you're gonna be a grandmother. -What?

Jesus, I wanted to make a moment out of it.

But that's marvelous.

We're very glad, too.

But we'd be slightly more happy if we knew the child would end up in a family.

A real family, not a family in ruins.

I'm sorry, darling. I don't know what got into me.

That would be the fucking limit.

What did you think? I'll throw everything away? I'm 65, let's put things on edge.

-Steve. -Billie, I've had it with these changes.

Divorces, freezing to death in fountains, friends getting hand jobs in public.

My directing that's suddenly not good enough. What is all this fucking bullshit?

Steve, I think you're just upset by what happened in America.

So what happened in America? Well?

Sorry, I don't need your self-help bullshit right now.

Save it for those weirdos at work. I want everything to be normal again.

That my child can grow up in a normal family. Everything just normal again.

We're going to celebrate your 40th wedding anniversary, period.

Have you considered what this has meant for Dad?

Dad is in despair.

I'm sorry, Bob.

I was wrong.

Will you take me back?

Why are you wearing a suit?

No reason.

I can't imagine growing old alone.

Come.

BOB: LUCY, WE CAN'T GO ON I'M SO SORRY

YOU DESERVE A REAL ADVENTURER

Hi. Would you happen to have seen my…

-Here you go. -That's what I was looking for.

You're an angel. My keys.

Say, Rik…

Are you ever going to ask me out?

And if not, is that because you don't fancy me or you're too afraid?

Well…

I have two small children, Linda.

I know.

And…

my wife is dead.

I know.

But if you have time tonight

and if you like to, then I'd like it very much…

It's started. Our Plain is in labor.

-Now? -Yes, come on. Now, come.

Alright. Wait!

-Hey. -Billie.

Rik had… I could borrow some of his children's clothes.

Isn't Rik in?

His tapir is giving birth.

Alright.

-Can I get them? -Sure.

-Oh, did I do that? -No, she was crying already.

Shouldn't you go up there?

Yes, maybe I should.

-Sublime. -Yes, do you like it?

-It's a great film. -The direction too?

-Absolutely. -Maybe we should add music after all.

Tomorrow is the premiere. It's too late now.

Fuck.

Billie, could you come to the sound studio?

So where are you? Please come quickly.

Right, see you in a bit.

She's at Rik's.

-We'll wait for Billie. -Why?

I can't lock without Billie.

With previous films we were ready weeks beforehand. We can't do this now.

Did you hear that? "We can't do that." That's the Flemish film industry for you.

"Can we start?" "No, we can't." "Audio running?" "No, it's not."

In America anything goes. There the sky is the limit.

No wonder my direction is criticized. No time? We'll make time.

We wait for Billie.

-Do you have a date for the premiere? -No, I'm not into dating these days.

-You're not? -No.

I'm sorry.

I really don't know…

-I don't know what's wrong with me. -What do you mean?

I've got everything to be happy, right?

Yes, I think so.

So why does it feel like I have nothing…

Carl, I'm really losing it.

Shit. This can't happen, not right now.

Not with a child on the way. And me and Steve are really…

Billie, everything will be alright.

Then why doesn't it feel right?

I really thought I'd come to terms with the way things went.

But I haven't.

And it's not like I won't love the child. I already do.

You're having a child.

It's not important where it came from.

It's important that you'll be his mom.

Or her mom.

Or her mom.

The kid will be so lucky to have you.

-Wow. -What?

Nothing. I just never knew…

that you're so sweet. That you could say the right things at the right moment.

-Come on. -No, really.

I mean it. Thank you.

Thank you.

Look. Look, look. Yes, yes.

Unbelievable.

Fantastic.

Come here.

We should have done this much sooner.

Oh shit.

We really shouldn't have done this.

She just doesn't answer anymore.

Steve, we should lock it. Now.

He has a point. You've got a great film, really.

Put it on an external hard disk.

The mountain will have to come to Moses.

This is all just hormones. Sorry, Carl. Are you alright?

It's the pregnancy. You start doing the strangest things. Eating, screaming.

And this too. Excited.

Not that I'm thinking about things all day.

This is really the first time it happens.

Fuck, I can't fall in love with you now.

I think I'm…

Oh fuck.

Oh fuck, oh fuck.

Steve.

Steve, stay calm please.

Calm?

Fucking asshole.

I understand he's capable of this, but you…

I really don't know what got into me.

I can't explain it either, but Steve, it's been over between us for so long.

I don't know what's happening,

but at last I feel something that doesn't make me panic.

-I'm sorry. -Are you in love?

-How long has this been going on? -I don't know.

-Well, is he a good fuck? -No, Steve, it's not what you think.

-Must I believe that? -This is not the right moment.

Not the right moment?

Not the right moment.

This is the perfect moment to tell everyone you don't give a fuck.

You don't know shit about me. Shut your mouth.

Right, I'll keep my mouth shut. Then it's up to you to tell her.

Well, go on.

-Look her in the eye and tell her. -What?

What is it?

I'll be inside.

We're not brothers anymore.

I never ever want to see you again.

You know what, Carl?

Jesus, Steve.

-Are you alright? -It's okay.

I'm sorry.

Billie…

We should have told you much sooner.

It was his idea.

I don't want to blame him, but he didn't want you to know.

What, Carl? I can't follow you.

You're pregnant with my child.

-What? -The baby is mine.

No.

No, that's not true. It can't be. It's from America.

It can't be.

It's all made up by Steve and Lodewijk.

No.

No, it's not.

Steve wanted to see something of himself in it.

And it had to be someone you wouldn't have feelings for.

Please tell me it isn't so.

No, don't touch me.

No.

Man, what a mess. And what now?

-I don't know. -But you will come tonight, right?

Carl, come on. You have to come, if only to apologize.

I'm the last person Steve wants to see on his premiere, believe me.

It's high time everyone in this family starts doing what they ought to do.

-Dad! -I'm coming, dear.

-Dad, I'm ready! -Make sure you'll be there tonight.

-Are you looking forward to it? -I have high expectations.

So here he is, ladies and gentlemen, the director of the film,

Steve De Jaegher.

A sequel, Steve?

Yes, De afvallige was such an overwhelming success.

No less than 870,000 moviegoers.

Massive attention from the States, so sooner or later there will be a sequel.

And will you be directing the American version as well?

-Never say never. -Thank you.

-Steve. -Steve.

What the fuck do you think you're doing here?

-I'm really sorry. -Who do you think you are?

-Who goes to church anymore? -I do. This is where I unwind.

Surprise.

If you touch my wife again,

I'll break your apostate priest limbs. Understood?

HAPPINESS THE METHOD

Laura is an irresistible woman. Just admit it. Please.

Jesus Christ.

Everyone here is wondering how you wound up making a romantic comedy.

When I first read the script, I was perplexed

by how witty and good it was.

I truly mean that.

And the gentleman next to me is to blame for that.

Over to you, Steve, the director. You must be a very happy man.

Absolutely, Kurt.

I've always wanted to make a film about the beauty of love

and I…

I've…

A romantic comedy.

It's really an unrealistic…

silly, childlike genre.

The kind of films that always ends well.

Always. Fuck.

Because heaven forbid we are reminded of what love really is.

And to not have to face that misery, we stare at films,

in which we lovingly fall into each other's arms.

But we don't fall into each other's arms.

We fall apart, goddammit.

Why do we feel the need to suggest love is more beautiful than it is?

And if there's ever a problem,

you can be sure it will be solved within an hour and a half.

Because ooh la la, how much do we love those butterflies in our stomach.

Those aren't butterflies in our stomachs, people.

It's a cancer.

An all-devouring cancer

that slowly eats us from the inside out…

and digests us…

until there's fucking nothing left.

Nothing.

What is it, Carl? What's wrong?

Too afraid to look me in the eye? I'm right here.

You screw my wife, but here you're this big.

Yes, I'm talking to you.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to my brother Carl, the clown.

Give him a thunderous applause.

FOR MOM AND DAD

No, goddammit.

Steve, man…

FILM DIRECTOR LOSES IT

-I'm going upstairs. -Right.

…the director, who slashed his own film afterwards,

and then started fighting with his actors, Filip Peeters and--

Greta, who are we kidding?

What do you mean?

We're not happy together. We haven't been for a very long time.

We're content, yes.

I thought being content was enough.

But we're way too good for that.

It's all my fault.

I should never have left you.

I should have known it wouldn't be better somewhere else.

I should have seen what a fantastic man you are.

But after Anouk…

Things closed up inside.

I didn't know how to live anymore.

I'm so terribly sorry.

I'm sorry too.

I should have kept surprising you.

But I let the fire burn out.

-Leave it, Bob. -Come. Come here.

-Come on now. -No, wait.

Carl speaking.

Lodewijk? Why are you calling--

What?

When?

And where?

-Hi there. -I'm here for Billie De Jaegher.

-She has an appointment. -And you are…

Carl De Jaegher.

And you know that Mrs De Jaegher has an appointment for an abortion?

I do.

I'm the father.

-Has she had the treatment yet? -No, first there's an interview.

Billie.

I've got nothing to say to you, Carl.

Don't get rid of it, Billie. I've done a stupid thing.

We've done something terrible. I wasn't thinking.

-I'm in love with you too. -So what?

Once I was in love with Steve. Look at us now.

Everything will cease to exist and it never ends well.

I don't know how to make it end well. It didn't even start well.

Give me a chance and I'll give you a fantastic middle part.

Or an okay middle part.

Just a middle part, isn't that enough?

-I don't know, Carl. -No.

I've given up everything and everyone, but I won't give you up.

I've always thought you're the most beautiful woman in the world.

But you married my brother.

It was the worst day of my life.

I'm not in love with you just now.

I've been in love with you for ten years.

Give me a chance.

Give our baby a chance.

What now?

We'll see.

5 MONTHS LATER

One for you. Enjoy.

Nice going, chef.

You're super yummy yourself.

I would have liked it if Steve would've come.

I know.

Dear guests, would you all come to the stage please?

He's not going to sing, is he?

First of all I'd like to excuse Steve,

who couldn't be here tonight.

He told me a wedding was a bit too much for him at this stage.

But he did give me something to show you.

Jakke, please.

From the first second of our existence, there's love.

We don't have to do anything, we don't have to fight for it. It's just there.

A mother holds her first child and at that moment two lives begin.

The child's and the mother's.

Family, from the very first second.

During our first years we don't realize how valuable that is.

We just take it for granted.

We toast to eternal happiness

and don't realize the family may get smaller.

We forget that accidents happen.

That life may take us firmly by the balls.

But we're resilient creatures.

We fall flat on our face and are convinced we'll never get up.

But then there's always the family, lending a helping hand.

Sometimes they are our biological family.

Sometimes friends are family.

But they're always there.

And it's not always a bed of roses.

Sometimes we need a sister to make sure we don't mess up too often.

And don't kid yourself. We will mess up. We all do.

Some a bit more often than others.

And we all fall victim to life sometimes.

But then there's always that silly family

with those silly aunts and uncles.

Someone who just silently listens.

A father that turns you into a man, but will always remain a boy himself.

And then there's the sons and daughters who give meaning to life.

Family. That's what it's all about.

That's what life is.

It's all about family.

It almost seems self-evident.