Original subtitles

-[♪ opening theme music playing] -♪ StuGo ♪

♪ StuGo ♪

-♪ StuGo, StuGo, StuGo ♪ -♪ StuGo ♪

♪ StuGo ♪

[singer laughs]

♪ StuGo ♪

♪ StuGo ♪

[echoing] ♪ StuGo ♪

[enthusiastically] Who wants some tasty bacon?

[sneezes]

All right, the bog dog got his medicine,

but you've all been exposed to cave dog flu.

Yeah. You kids are gonna have to quarantine

for at least a day to see if symptoms pop up.

Symptoms? What symptoms?

Uh, we got whimpering, butt scoots,

eating stuff out of the trash. You know, dog stuff.

Best to stay inside.

But I felt bad,

so I brought you a little something to keep you ocupado.

[wheels squeaking]

It's a... It's a TV.

Why is it so thick?

Now, this isn't a normal television.

This is Pantelevision,

the island's own closed-circuit cable

you can't see anywhere else.

And we wanted to give the mutants something to do,

so they don't rise up and overthrow Lullah.

-[static] -[male voice on TV] The rubber bands are off,

-and we've got a rodeo going, folks! -[crowd cheering]

[snake mutant on TV] Welcome to Snake Reviews Rocks!

-It's hot! - [static]

-Welcome back to What Are The Clouds Trying To Tell Us? -[♪ soft piano music playing]

-Pretty groovy, huh? -[music on TV resumes]

[chuckling] Okay, I'll be back to check on you later.

[flamingo mutant on TV] They're real shy today.

-[piano music continues] -What else is there?

Okay, we're gonna be doing a beautiful little recipe slop.

-Nice, the circles, that's it. -[slop sloshes gently]

-[continues indistinctly] -Okay...

Hey, look at me! I'm the queen. [laughs]

Ow. Ow, ow, ow! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! Ow!

-[♪ hillbilly music playing] -[Catapult Kevin reading]

Welcome to my travel vlog!

Let's see where we're going today.

-[yelps] -[music stops]

[distorted male voice reading]

-[smooches] -[♪ romantic music playing]

-[smooching continues] -[exclaiming in disgust]

What else is on?

[♪ Hand Holders theme song playing]

-Whoa! [chuckling] Oh. -[♪ theme song continues]

[exclaims softly in amazement]

Hey!

Ooh.

[female announcer reading]

[all murmuring in awe]

[indistinct conversations]

[sighs in frustration]

Frogatha J. Pickleback,

no one is ever gonna hold your hand.

Uh, no doy!

Maybe because it's poison, Frogatha.

-[snickers] Yeah! [snickering] -[laughs smugly]

[nervously] Oh, hi, Bethany.

You... You look cute today.

-[engine revving] -[gasps]

[engine revs]

Hey!

[gasps] He wants to hold her hand!

-[others] Shh! -Shiny!

It's Big Mitchell.

Whose hands do you think he's gonna hold?

Oh, uh...

Hi, Big Mitchell.

Ayy!

[inquisitively] Ayy.

Uh, hands off, Frogatha!

His hand is mine.

[annoyed] Ayy...

Hey, I just wanted to check in real quick.

[all exclaiming and clamoring angrily]

So, how's everyone feeling, huh? It's been 24 hours.

A whole day?

That was amazing.

[softly] I need more.

[chuckles] Yeah.

Any symptoms of dog flu?

If not, I'll be taking this back.

Gotta catch up on my stories.

[all feigning barking and growling]

-[barking continues] -[grunts] Back! Stay back!

Hurry, guys. We gotta see what happens.

[smooches] Ah!

-Okay. That's enough. -No, no! No, wait! I need it!

What channel was Hand Holders on?

I don't know, just keep going.

-[male voice] It's Tara's Greatest Hits! -[dolphin squeals]

[male voice] Featuring such songs as...

-[male voice] "Ee Ee Squee Click Ee." -[raspy singing]

[male voice] "Eeeeeeer Eeee aarrrrrr" Remix...

-[squealing] -[male voice] ...and "Teeteetee Hnnnngg,"

-"Keep our names out your blowhole." -[raspy squeal]

[male voice] Also featuring a human sibling.

Get this beautiful two-CD set today!

This isn't Hand Holders. Keep going.

Now, join us as we watch the inaugural launch of the Mutant Space Program.

Uh, uh... are we rolling?

Uh, can you put a thing up on the, uh, on the thing?

[mutanaut on TV] Whoo!

[shrieking] Oh! This is a wonderful miracle!

[yelling] My final form!

Pants. They're more than just something to obscure your fanny.

They're an art form. That's why I invite you

to my Mastercrease Collection.

The Double Crease, the Waffle Crease,

-Sunrise Impression. - [distorted male voice reading]

[Muscle Mouse] Rendezvous in Rio.

Senor despair.

What am I doing?

What is this slop show?

[sighing] Oh, this is so hard for me.

[Catapult Kevin reading]

[♪ hillbilly instrumental music playing]

[music stops]

[screams]

[♪ upbeat brass music playing]

[♪ electronic dance music playing]

[female chef] And that's the kind of golden brown sizzle

we look for in a "Chip burger."

Look at those beautiful meat boys.

Now let's let that sizzle while we work on dessert.

A mint chocolate "Chip" sundae.

Miss you, Chippy!

-Oh! -Ooh!

Shut up, you guys.

It is Dogter Loola's Knews!

[grunting in effort faintly]

[grunts, pants faintly]

[seagull squawks distantly]

[muffled] Good morning, a... zero percent of our... [continues indistinctly]

[squawking]

[in sing-song voice, stammering] ♪ Please ♪

[sings off key] ♪ Send help! There's a monster in here ♪

-♪ That can only be placated ♪ - [♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ With [stammering] dancing! ♪

[breathing raggedly]

[prolonged] Ayy!

Ooh, ooh, ooh! Stop! There it is!

Ayy...

You want to hold my hand?

But my hand is poisonous.

And it has a tragic backstory!

My friend who I've known longer than anybody else,

I treasure every moment with you.

[slimy touch]

-[EKG flatlining] -They died from hand poisoning.

-[♪ sad piano music playing] -Oh, Frogatha, I'm so sorry about your friend.

-Thanks, Dad. -[slimy touch]

[EKG flatlining]

[sobbing] I gotta get out of here!

[EKG flatlining]

-[flatlining continues] -Oh, dang.

Eh, ayy.

Okay. But this...

this could be the last hand you ever hold.

♪ I want to hold your hand ♪

[female announcer reading]

-[groaning] Oh, come on! -Oh, come on!

Firstly, the fact that they are making us wait is a crime, and I'm going to sue.

Secondly, I cannot believe this is finally happening for Frogatha!

[others] Yay!

Well, sounding good in here.

Allow me to join you in saying, "yay,"

because I can finally take the TV back.

[laughs nervously] We weren't saying, "Yay!"

We... We were saying that thing all... all dogs say.

"Yarf"?

-Oh, yeah. Of course. Yarf, yarf. -Oh, yeah! Of course. Yarf.

Ooh, I do constantly say "yarf."

Nah, but you'd all be well into the trash-eating phase by this point.

[flies buzzing]

[all stammering nervously]

I'm taking that TV.

[all gobbling and munching viciously]

Holy yarf! It's worse than I thought!

I'll see if I can get you some medicine!

-[gobbling continues] -Oh! And pick up some

of that double-chip mint ice-cream while you're at it.

[Sara] Yeah, chop-chop! Go get it! I want three scoops!

-[Merian whooping] -Hmm.

Whew! Okay, he's gone! [gulps]

Come on, let's see what else is on!

-Whoo-hoo! Yeah! -Yeah. We got to get back at it.

[♪ upbeat brass music playing]

The baby...

[distorted] What else haven't they told us?

[grunts in effort]

[strains]

-[grunts] -[grunts, groans]

I believe.

[male voice singing] ♪ Stuco! ♪

[male voice chuckles]

I'm Pliby.

[audience laughs and applauds]

Larbie, as well, is here.

[audience laughs and applauds]

[audience cheers and applauds]

-[applause continues] -[cheering and whistling]

Francis.

-[audience cheering on TV] -Oh. That's what that was for?

♪ Could be presents ♪

♪ Could be food ♪

♪ Let's see what's coming out of Trent's Tube ♪

[oozing]

[happy high-pitched voices] Cranberries!

[distorted male voice reading]

Are you old?

-[♪ soft classical instrumental music playing] -Like, old, old?

Then come live out your waning days on...

-The Leg Farm! -[♪ rave music playing]

Enjoy our relaxing farm areas!

The toes garden!

And reflecting pool!

For glory!

[Catapult Kevin reading]

[♪ hillbilly instrumental music playing]

[yells]

[♪ mysterious choral music playing]

[♪ mysterious choral music continues playing on TV]

[gasps] What are we doing? We could be missing the Hand Holders finale!

-Aw, let's go back. -[all exclaiming in panic]

-[♪ romantic song playing] -♪ Hold your hand... ♪

Yes! We didn't miss it!

-[♪ song continues] -[breathing raggedly]

[strains]

[breathing heavily and grunting]

-[Big Mitchell strains] -[female singer] ♪ Oh... ♪

[shark mutant reading]

[Chip screams, muffled]

We've just received footage of Mr. Okay

at the top of the biggest cliff on the island,

which he was only on top of

because some kids sent him there to get something.

Hey, [laughs sheepishly] that's us.

One super-slippery mint chocolate chip ice-cream.

Whoops! Whoa! Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

We now join Mr. Okay's fall to his death,

already in progress.

[screaming]

-[Mr. Okay continues screaming on TV] -Oh! What have we done?

It's all our fault.

Okay, we need to clean up the evidence before Lullah finds out. Okay?

-Mr. Okay! -[Mr. Okay] Ahhh!

Ah, as I suspected.

You're not sick at all.

Uh... [chuckles nervously] Yarf?

Please don't.

I hope you kids learned something today.

Faking sick is one thing.

But taking advantage of another's generosity?

That's just plain rude.

And because of you kids, I missed today's episode of Scrampled Eggs.

[softly] It was a good one.

They're all good ones, Chip!

I'm taking the TV back immediately.

But the Hand Holders finale is on!

That's right now?

[female announcer on TV] Back to the finale of Hand Holders.

Ayy...

[breathing heavily]

-[gasps] -[utters nervously]

[breathing heavily]

[Big Mitchell straining] Ayy!

[exclaim nervously]

-Hmm. -[exclaims nervously]

-[Big Mitchell straining] -[Frogatha grunts]

-[voice trembling] Ah... Ah! -Come on...

-[Mr. Okay] Hold it! -[exclaims nervously]

[yelps]

[straining] Catapult Kevin!

[all groaning] No!

I do love your show, though!