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i' like to welcome you to the beginning
of our vacation introducing Alex the
life and soul of the party not in the
mood what's the matter bro you still
feeling busy but I'm not in the mood
just go man you think you're going to
hurl again I'm going to knock that
camera out of your hand okay okay okay
and that's like to present to you my two
Amigas from Madrid let's say hello to
our friends what's up [ __ ] would you
like to say anything to your mothers yes
oh that we're a pair of and we're going
to [ __ ] every guy that comes along
tonight and all the guys that come our
way oh everyone that comes along like
this
[Music]
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n
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oh
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Anna can you change the channel we have
other options they're all bad there's
nothing else to listen to and that's
that what's with this map I can't
understand anything
[Music]
haven't seen any place to eat it's
crazy well I don't see anything all
closed for
hola
hello
hello [ __ ] is anybody in here
coming look
hey Bundy Capa oh sorry we don't speak
newor ah
s should have told me I would have spoke
English so what's up yeah could I get
some of those cookies from MCA and uh
three gallons of water anything
else yeah um do you know the way uh to
the main Highway we're looking for a
place
called Kal Hoya Kalah Hoya ah cya
cya yes just go back up this main route
here H
so oh my God that's gross meat's
supposed to be cooked yeah but I think
it's seasoned with spices so that it
won't go bad what so what it's still
Pork yeah but it's good oh come on go
vegetarian already well I like it oh I
have to go to the bathroom to the right
so I'm going to go right here excuse me
excuse me where's the bathroom yes of
course uh go to the rear entrance it's
right back there you won't miss it I'm
sure thank
[Music]
you where were
we this one right
here Che out all the
um well what about over here can we go
this way yes that's an okay yeah Edward
going to do that okay this might take
you a little
uh water yeah oh yeah
please oh damn it no more jugs left here
I'll have to check back in the warehouse
just give me a
[Music]
minute for
hello
okay all right let's get the [ __ ] out of
here let's go okay take it easy
[Music]
all right is the waters how much do I
ow
$6 well I hope my directions were
helpful oh yes thank you very much okay
uh would you guys like some dried Meats
very good fine we're good we have all
kind let's go I'll make you de I said no
[ __ ]
for
I think we're doing fine just follow the
road and I'm sure we'll find a village
soon all
right okay it was not a good idea to
take that shortcut but on top of that
we're not clear about what the map says
seriously stop busting my whols I've
already been driving a long time and
none of you can drive so stop it and
that's that wait wait wait wait calm
down this is what we're going to have to
do here we're going to pull over and
camp out by the time we wake up in the
morning and hit the road tomorrow we'll
be cool Comm and collected see nothing
good at all has happened today babe take
it easy maybe we camp tonight and head
to the coast tomorrow hey I love you
Danny better hope those Coes are badass
I'm telling
you hell are you guys okay man what is
that out there Jesus NE is everything
all right you okay you okay back there I
don't know where what are you doing why
did you stop that are you trying to kill
us look over there there's a guy in the
middle of the road it was a close call I
almost ran him over really mother Christ
this is not what I need to happen all
right all right all right all right how
about we go see if he moves any no man I
think he's dead I don't know maybe he is
dead okay okay okay okay okay Cal down
okay now this is what I think I'm going
to go over there and I'm going to go
check to see if he's all right and if
he's not breathing we'll call the
authorities how are we going to do that
if we can't use our cell phones out here
are you kidding me now I'm going to go
outside
damn sir
you
okay
sir you all
right uh
sir oh [ __ ] he's he's alive he's alive
come over here help me what we do
back look maybe he passed out because he
had a heat stroke need take him to the
nearest hospital right away no no
hospitals not around we don't have any
cell phone reception what do we do it's
not any trouble would you take me to my
house okay yeah of course get him in the
car come on get him in the car come on
easy easy easy all right I got you I got
you get the door be careful be careful
get in
slowly there you go all right you all
right there you
go all
right come on hurry up get in all right
let's
go oh man the
pain over at the end of the road there
is a
Mill and then to the right is my
father's house yeah I think I see it up
there what happened to you on the road
back there looks like you fell in your
ass I don't know it was pretty weird I
was on a road it was pretty hot I don't
know I must have collapsed I can't
remember a thing well luckily we were
going by because otherwise you'd still
be laying there nobody drove by us all
day thanks for ride of course hey by the
way what's your name Cisco Cisco well
nice to meet you Cisco I'm paa Alex
Danny and Anna what's up
so you're not from here are you no we're
from Madrid we're on vacation on the
island
[Music]
I'm going to see if anyone's here
okay how you feeling better much better
Paul grab his arm thank you watch
out okay
hello is anybody
there hello
hello hey oh hey what's going on here
please we found a man on the road he
said he lived
here where's he at he's in the car want
to help us
thanks I live with your father see my
father and my son dad what happened to
you I don't know I just fell down oh
well I'm glad you're okay yes well guess
that's it for
oh my God
now so sorry guys my dad's kind of
hopeless right now and he wasn't
supposed to be out alone and he always
forgets his medications I hope it wasn't
too much trouble for you guys no not at
all it's okay well how about we invite
you to dinner and you can stay for the
evening no don't worry about it we got a
tent we're going camping we got
everything we need we got it all figured
out we appreciate it though no worries
be safe all right thank you thanks see
you later by sure yeah uh could you tell
me how to get back to the main road yeah
I could get you there fast now you go
down to where you came from about 7 km
you're going to make a ride and you'll
see the signs right there perfect thanks
I appreciate it have a nice day see you
later bye
oh great now what oh [ __ ] man let's
drive around let's get the [ __ ] out of
here how am I supposed to drive around
there with those stones and Thorns do
you want to get a flat tire
get out and see if there's anyone in
there oh hell what a
day what the
hell oh no
daddy oh my God oh my God lock the doors
roll it up roll it
[Music]
up what
what what the [ __ ] is that okay come on
oh
God [ __ ]
start go go go
[Laughter]
oh my
[Music]
Gody try stay C what are you
do what you think he's going to do
[Music]
Anna Anna got listen to me listen to me
look you got to look at me this is what
we're going to do we're going to head
back my God we're going to head back
over to Cisco hey get MyPhone then we
can call the authorities okay oh my God
Danny can you tell me how we're going to
get out of the car PA paa everything's
going to be all right all right you just
got to listen to me all right
everything's going to be okay right
settle down settle down everyone calm
down we're going to figure this out
we're going to head back to Cisco's
house
okay we're going to go on the count of
three one
two three come on come on let's go let's
go come on
Anna come on
keep
good who almost
there Cisco Cisco open up home please
help please come
on
Cisco follow me come on help
help help somebody anyone we need
help there
anybody here we got to find
Alex we need help right now we'll find
him later
[Music]
oh
Paula Alex
Danny Paula
Paula Paula Danny please wake
up [ __ ] what is this
[ __ ] Paula Paula please wake up
Paula what the [ __ ] is this what what
the [ __ ] what is
this Anna what's going on Anna I don't
know my
Danny where's Danny
Danny Danny Danny Danny Danny Danny
Danny what's going on Danny what they do
to you
Dany oh God PA Paula please let your
voice someone will come I'm sure fine
okay calm down you want me to calm down
look at his face it's covered in blood
what did they do to you
[Music]
Danny Danny son of a [ __ ] where are
we there's got to be a way out of here
oh God we got to find a way
out oh my God what the [ __ ] are we doing
in here and where's Alex why isn't he
with us we're going to die
Paula no don't say that Paula calm
down no we're going to be fine we're
going to make it back home
okay I
promise someone's
coming look at the two pigies we have
Tomo how do you like your new place I
should have crushed your face on the
pavement ooh little piggy
bites you got a dirty
mouth you are a little pig huh where's
Alex he better be okay what are you
going to do stupid blun oh you think you
can threaten me oh no that's not how
this going to work right now we're the
ones calling the shots here
you go find Grandpa Tomo time for him to
see the merchandise
I don't think this one's going to sing
anymore calm down paa he was your
boyfriend right I don't think he's going
to come around again so you're not in
relationship no
more why did you do this to us why are
you doing
thisis Cisco seriously if you set us
free we won't say anything about what
happened here surely this was a mistake
you thought we were some other people
please we don't any trouble just let us
go and we won't tell anyone oh you're
ready to negotiate huh so soon it
usually takes people day do what do you
want from us money we've got about
โฌ2,000 between us it's all yours don't
you think if we wanted the money we
would have taken it already you don't
understand anything do you if I want
something I just take
it no I want this
[Laughter]
a what do you think
Papa nice elections
huh what did you happen to get these
Madrid or something like
that
sir we didn't do anything I swear if you
let us go we won't say a word did I ask
you anything [ __ ]
Foreigner look I don't know what you're
up to but it's illegal you can't keep us
here okay it's a
crime right here I am the law and here
you do whatever it is I tell you to do
is that clear what do you want from my
you piece of [ __ ] an explanation that's
not even worth it sir please let us go
I'm sure that there's some way we can
work this whole thing out if you want us
to leave your land we'll leave your land
and we'll get it out of your hair for
good I'm serious surely we can settle
this as civilized people but please
that's it nothing has even happened yet
sh
up if either one of you speak again I'll
cut your tongue right out are we clear
you can't do this to us [ __ ] goddamn
foreigners you're here upsetting
everything and you have no right to do
what you do because of this war we have
won this war [ __ ] him H let's
go tell Tito to feed
them no problem don't take too long no
papa
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[Music]
hey hey you better put me down I said
put me down where am I cut me loose now
you better do it right now let me
down what are you going to do with that
what do you want to do with
me help sir please let me go you sick
[ __ ] you better just let me down you
better let me down
now please just just let me go
what's that what is
that please what are you doing I'll do
anything you ask me to please stop
please what do you want from me please
I'm begging you no please what do you
want from me please put those down what
are you going to do to me I said what
are you going to do to me no please what
are you
do son of a [ __ ] I'm going to kill you
I'm going to [ __ ] kill
yall when I get down from
here I'm going to find you and kill your
[ __ ]
ass I'm going to kill you
[Music]
[Music]
oh
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
D you want something to eat huh
please please help us please you don't
hey please help
me Hey where's
Alex please what is
this pleas get us out of here I know you
don't want to do anything to
us out of
here oh
[Music]
I think I'm going to be sick
Paula
Paula
Paula Paula did you eat it
Paula Paula Paula answer me
Paula daddy
daddy daddy honey are you
[Music]
okay Danny oh my
God PA what the [ __ ] get this
place where are we I don't know but they
locked us in this [ __ ]
cage I don't know what the hell they
want from
us what is Alex they took him away I
don't know where he
is [ __ ]
hell they're going to kill
us they're going to kill
us they're going to kill us
they're going to kill
[Music]
us I'm going to kill us please Paula
calm
down
hey every everything's going to be okay
no we're going to die
no give me your hand give me your hand
come
on
well as you woke up Sleeping Beauty
maybe I cross a line when I hit you so
hard
you hey what did you do to us oh who do
you think you are if you late to the
movie tough
[ __ ]
well he looks like you have a boyfriend
again what a shame now he'll have to see
it
come on get
[Music]
up son of a [ __ ] stop pointing that gun
at her if you don't I'll kill you shut
up or I'll PMP you for a
medal please Sisco don't hurt us let us
go please I was just thinking the same
thing that you are Let's Make a Deal
what kind of deal it's just something I
like to do with all the girls I like you
know oh no it'd be a shame to spoil such
a beautiful thing
look you have to do me a little favor
with your little mouth you know eh oh no
please please and then I'll let you go
and you're free don't believe him he's
ly your mouth you speak again and I will
blow your brains out my God
okay I will just please just let him go
okay
[Music]
please sorry but no this offer is good
for only one
person okay I'm ready you bit you let
her go
now Paula get me out of here come on get
me out of here please Paula I'm really
sorry no Paula Paula PA paa
pa pa you just wait PA
h
[Music]
[Music]
yes right to
what the [ __ ] is this Anna what the [ __ ]
is this I don't know okay what the [ __ ]
do they want from us we just need to get
out Danny
Danny Danny you have to calm down how do
you expect me to calm down I got to get
out of
here coming
you [ __ ]
[ __ ] [ __ ] hey you [ __ ]
what' you do where is
he huh stupid [ __ ] answer me tell me
what the [ __ ] you
do you're not we a [ __ ] you're a [ __ ]
coward you hear me you're a [ __ ]
coward you don't have the balls to fight
me hey when I get out of here I'm going
to bite off that goddamn face of yours I
promise you that you hear me
bastard now you just piss me
off do you think you're tough huh do you
think you can beat me
H I can beat you anytime
[ __ ] this guy really has some
balls tato get him
out no hey hey get away from me you
bastard hey no wait
stop [ __ ] no no no no no no no no no no
no [ __ ] let me go let me down
you son of a
[ __ ] well let's see what you
got come on now
you want to fight
me is that all you got for me see if you
a real hero you wouldn't have allowed me
to kill your girlfriend
my
girl
pa don't make promises you cannot
keep but now I'm going to make you
promise that this will hurt
tto go get the
wood what you don't have anything to say
now
you wanted to kill me huh no no no
please don't no no no no no no no please
[Music]
[Music]
daddy daddy
[Music]
oh
[Music]
what are you looking
at let go of me no leave me alone no put
me down stop stop
it let go of me let go of me put me down
no what are you doing
[Music]
you humored the old man or I'll cut your
[ __ ] tits off you got
me look what did I say about wearing
that mask in the house I've told you a
thousand times stop wearing that [ __ ]
thing in the
house you have to forgive him he's a
little not so right in the head believe
me you must be hungry
go on eat all of this you see here is
typically myor in product okay the best
in my yor come on have some have some
woman don't be shy you don't like
anything myorkin you're disappointing me
come on woman eat have some all I want
to do is have dinner and get to know you
better look at here we have fresh baked
empanadas honey come on no thanks
my family suffered through
starvation I know what it's like to
starve the first years of the war
[ __ ] Nazi [ __ ] those bastards
came over here and made off with
everything there was even the food they
killed our pigs and ate them in this
town people didn't starve because of my
father and my grandfather and other
brave men saved all of us from dying of
starvation but this war this war we've
already won we've already won this war
Franco Franco hasn't made a move in
months and I'm telling you the
truth I don't give an ounce of [ __ ]
about you you're here because I want my
grandson to May to pop his Cherry with
you yes too he's a good-look boy look at
him look at get get up Tom too come here
come here isn't he handsome the thing is
he's a bit shy with women not that he's
shy but he doesn't know how to ask for
it I'm asking for him you understand
this then you go upstairs okay Tomo
what's the matter where you going you'll
enjoy it he's got a really nice set of w
yes he does don't you listen to me you
understand don't you mess this up your
father was a pansy when it came to this
I want you to go straight into her
straight into her
go be a man that's my
[Laughter]
[Music]
boy
[Music]
[ __ ] come here tell to come
[Music]
[Music]
ditto TI up and don't bother me
[Music]
anymore
[Music]
e e
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
get him
oh
[Music]
G
h
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
m e
okay
are you going to need something else for
there well good
night for
h
oh
shut up her I'll stick it in your neck
you're going to threaten a poor old man
who can't
walk shut up
oh
for
e for
h
oh for
a
what the
[Music]
[Laughter]
oh
dny
Dy come
on come
[Laughter]
on get me out of here please get me out
of here
please easy it hurts
oh I'm sorry I'm sorry God please be
careful shut up okay you're making me
nervous and you got to get me the [ __ ]
out of this okay
oh you got to take the other one out
Anna oh God
[Music]
come
on come on get
up come
on okay okay come
on
oh come on get
walking okay
okay you got
it
okayo
Kito Kito they're getting away get them
[Music]
to where are
you to
[Music]
come on come on we have to keep moving
please I can't run anymore I can't run
anymore no come on run go on without me
go on without me you got to make a run
for it you got to leave you understand
me grw you got to get going go get out
of here don't you ever stop
you're
prick what are you going to do to me
huh what are you going to do to me you
[ __ ]
what
for for
for
e e
two for
[Music]
oh
the
f for
what
oh
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
sh
[Music]
[Music]
h
for
for for
[Music]
yeah e
[Music]
[Music]
come here you son of a [ __ ]
stop please
please come
back please
spe
h
[Applause]
[Music]
and you
[Music]
this is for to
[Music]
a
[Music]
night
I
time the way
[Music]
[Music]
hey
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hey it's
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all
day girl got
[Music]
toight
[Music]
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hey make
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oh
[Music]
[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
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welc to
[Applause]
[Music]
back back
countar back count at stars
[Music]
[Music]
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