Original subtitles

- [Joss] Sir, I'm simply asking what we did wrong.

- Please step out of the vehicle.

Keep your hands in plain sight,

and don't make me repeat myself.

- [Mia] What did he do?

- You mind putting that thing away?

- [Mia] No, I'm actually recording it for my own protection.

Would you mind letting us know why you stopped us?

- You better put that thing away.

Put the phone away,

or you're gonna be joining your little buddy here.

- [Mia] Under what charges?

- All right, two of you get outta the vehicle now.

- [Mia] Don't.

- Mia, this is not a game.

- Just a simple question.

It's a simple question that they're asking.

Why did you stop us, Mr. Officer guy?

- I'm sorry. Was I talking to you?

You just sit back there and shut up.

You're gonna be joining your,

- Oh my gosh. - Friends up here.

- Are you guys seeing this?

This guy just pulled us over in the middle of the street

for absolutely no reason at all.

He's clearly abusing his power as an officer.

So I'm live streaming right now to make sure

that nothing happens to Joss or I

so everyone can see.

- Put the phone down now.

- [Mia] No.

I'm not feeling safe right now.

I'm fully within my right to do what I need to do.

- Sir, she's just asking, what did we do wrong?

- This is the last time I'm gonna tell you.

Get out.

- [Mia] Don't.

Just so you know, you're on a live stream right now

with over 8,000 viewers.

And trust me when I say, it's only gonna keep growing.

- Really?

- [Mia] Mm-hmm.

- Well,

wow.

I'll tell you something.

I know what you're all doing out here,

and I don't like it one bit.

This is my town,

and I'm not gonna put up with a bunch of bullshit YouTubers.

All right?

I get one complaint about this group, one complaint,

and I'll promise you that you're all going into a jail cell

and you're gonna stay there until you become normal people.

Get it?

- [Mia] Got it.

- Got it, sir. Yes. - Thanks, Officer.

We really appreciate it. - Thank you.

- Thank you very much. - Have a great day.

See you.

- Thank you, sir.

- [Thomas] What a fucking dick.

(Pedro speaking Portuguese)

- Mia, are you crazy?

- [Mia] What?

- He was reaching for his gun.

- Yeah, that's why I started live streaming.

Just so everyone can see us,

just in case anything crazy happened.

- [Thomas] Yeah, she did the right thing, Joss.

You don't need to be a dick about this.

- Oh, I'm being a dick here?

You didn't just see him almost arrest me?

- At least then you would become a real actor,

a real Hollywood star.

Like every Hollywood actor,

like every one have been arrested

at least once in their lives.

Tell me one that didn't.

- Tom Hanks.

- Okay. (group laughing)

That's the only one. He's the only (indistinct).

what's the name of that guy who played "Iron Man"?

- Oh, Robert Downey Jr. - Robert Downey Jr.

- Robert what? - Love him.

Robert Downey Jr.

- Robert? - Robert Downey Jr!

- I'm so sorry. - Okay. All right.

- So him, okay?

He was arrested more times than Fernandinho Beira-Mar,

which is a big Brazilian drug dealer,

bigger than Pablo Escobar, by the way.

- Really? - What's your point?

- My point is, for you to become a real Hollywood star,

you need to get your ass in jail

at least once in your life.

That's all I'm saying.

- Come on, Joss. Laugh a little bit.

He's just trying to mess with us.

- And when has Pedro not messed with us?

All right, guys.

Sorry about the way I had to start today's stream off,

but as you could see, we were dealing with a bit

of a tense situation. - So beautiful.

- [Mia] Oh my God. Look at this.

- So amazing. - Wow.

I feel like a free squirrel in the night.

- [Pedro] A free squirrel in night?

(group laughing)

- Oh my goodness.

- Oh, golly gee. This is so beautiful.

Anyway, so we're on the last leg of our trip,

and we're going to a really beautiful cabin

that's right next to the National Park.

And as you could see, the cops wanted

to bring us here with a party or something.

I don't know.

- Such a lovely reception.

- Beautiful welcome.

- Hey babe?

Are you gonna keep streaming the whole time?

- Yeah. I mean, kind of already started the stream.

I can't really leave you guys hanging now, can I?

It'll only be for like an hour more, I promise.

- No, it's, that's fine.

You're good. You're good. (Mia laughing)

- [Mia] All right, and now let's get the party started.

So we have the famous comedian, Pedro Carvalho,

in the back seat.

Say something to the beautiful fans.

(Pedro speaking Portuguese)

- Okay, I don't know what the heck that was, but I agree.

And you're amazing.

And then over here we have the lovely Thomas

who's taking over to TikTok.

Say something.

- What's up, guys? I'm grateful to be here.

Thanks for having me. Sorry I'm joining late.

The only reason is because Pedro invited me late.

- I didn't know you'd wanna come, man.

It's a fucking publicity campaign.

- Of course I want to come. It's free shit, dude.

- [Mia] Okay, and then we have

the stunningly beautifully talented artist,

Cindy Hope.

Cindy Hope.

Shake her up, shake her up. Shake her up.

- Cindy?

- Oh.

- [Mia] Say hey to everybody, Cindy.

- Hi, person.

- [Mia] Oh my gosh. Give them some energy.

They're so excited to see you. People are commenting.

- Oh, leave her alone.

You know, she's a precious little bubble.

You know how these artists are.

- [Mia] I know.

Okay, anyway.

Okay, guys, so you know what to do. Go to her page.

Leave her some love, leave her some comments.

Give her a follow, do whatever you guys gotta do.

- Mia, this is bullying.

- Not correctly.

This is cyber bullying.

- Oh my God.

If Mia giving Cindy an extra 100 K followers is bullying,

then Mia, please cancel me.

Destroy me.

- Oh my God. - Me, me, me, me, me,

me too me. - Ew, Thomas.

What is wrong with you? - Oh come on.

You're the only comedian here.

I've been posting on YouTube for nine years.

- Oh my God!

I can't. Okay.

We know. - When I started posting,

the internet was like the new world and I was Columbus.

I pioneered that shit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Okay, we get it. - And still nobody knew

you had a channel until like five months ago

when you started TikTok.

- You know what?

It takes 10 years to become an overnight success.

- TikTok, and anybody can be successful

on TikTok. - Literally.

- Then why aren't you famous on TikTok? Huh?

- I'm kind of. Kind of!

- Ah, okay. - Might have

like six viral videos.

- Okay, you are. - Yeah, yeah.

- Okay. Yes. - Yes.

- All right. - Oh, how my,

how is it going?

- Oh let's see.

Holy shit.

- What? - Oh my gosh.

100 K viewers.

- What the? Okay, hey!

Tag me. Tag me.

Don't forget to tag me.

- Let me see this. Lemme see this first.

How did you get 100 K already?

- [Mia] Oh my gosh.

- I am feeling something. I am feeling something coming.

We are going to have a million viewers tonight.

And Mia's gonna have to shave her head.

- No!

- You forgot! - No!

- I didn't forget.

I didn't forget.

(Mia screaming) - Wait. Wait.

What are you talking about?

- Oh my God.

If I get this correct, in your girlfriend's exact words,

guys, once I get a million viewers,

I will shave my head - Shut up.

- Just for you.

- I didn't say it like that.

- That was exactly same voice.

- [Joss] Wait, you're actually gonna shave your head?

- [Mia] Babe, are you still gonna love me if I do it?

- Yeah.

(group laughing)

- She's gonna look like Gollum.

She's gonna be like, "Hello my precious followers.

Don't forget to like and subscribe.

Gollum, Gollum, Gollum."

- That's good. - Okay.

Should we call "Lord of the Rings"?

Babe, are you sad?

- I'm just focusing on driving.

- [Mia] Are you, like, mad at me?

I didn't even shave it yet.

- Well, we're, - Yet.

- Yet. (Thomas laughing)

- [Joss] We're here.

- [Group] Hey.

- [Thomas] Hey. Whoa, is that the cabin?

- [Mia] Oh my God.

This is the best publicity I've ever done. 1000%.

- [Pedro] If you stay here, if they, like,

I would post a fake picture on my Instagram,

Whether they wanna do one my liver,

I put it on eBay and do an auction.

I don't care.

- [Mia] Oh my God. I need to get out right now.

- [Thomas] Right, let's go guys.

This is it.

- Look at this place. It's so gorgeous.

Oh my gosh.

And you guys can stay in a place exactly like this

or this spot exactly, if you go on my page

and follow the travel agency I've been tagging

in all of my recent posts.

Wow.

- [Pedro] My God, this place is so beautiful.

- Oh man. Is there a jacuzzi here, Mia?

- [Mia] I don't know, but we can ask.

- Yeah. - Just don't jerk off

in the jacuzzi, man.

Don't jerk off.

- Are you talking to yourself?

- Yeah.

I kind of need to talk much of myself

to keep me from doing shit

and appearing in gossip papers and in pages.

- Yeah? - Oh my God.

Wow. Seriously guys, this is so sick.

And I want you guys commenting all weekend.

Tell me what you think of the place.

I just need to see what you guys have to think.

- [Joss] Are those the agency owners, I guess?

- [Mia] Oh, let's see. Yeah.

- [Joss] Let's not keep them waiting, right?

- Hello there.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Oh my gosh.

Guys, okay, so tell me what you think,

what you guys want us to do most.

So, I don't know.

I was thinking maybe we could have like a little barbecue,

maybe do some s'mores.

I don't know. I wanna see like a raccoon do something funny.

What do you think?

- Mia? - Yeah?

- Do you mind if we only post what's necessary?

I just wanna spend some time with you

and have some alone time together.

- [Mia] Oh, well, I mean, it's kind of like part of my job

to be able to do this.

Like, I was hired to come here.

- No, I know, just post whatever you gotta do.

Just don't post everything. That's all.

- Everything?

Okay. I mean, maybe I do post kind of a lot.

I don't know.

Okay, guys, well, I'm really sorry,

but I think I have to end this stream early tonight.

- No, no, no, no. Keep keep, keep, keep streaming.

You're good. Just if we can have some us time.

How the, do I talk to them?

Do I talk to them? - Yeah, yeah.

Just say hi. Okay guys.

You know him. Obviously we're together all the time.

- Cool. - Okay.

I love you so much. Thank you.

(lips smacking)

- Thank you. - Okay guys.

So this is the beautiful cabin.

And let's see. Let's go upstairs.

Let's meet everyone. Okay?

Coming up. Hi.

- Well, hi, Mia.

- Oh my gosh. - Come up here.

- [Mia] You must be Lindsey.

- Hi. You sure and Mia. - Hi.

- Welcome.

- [Mia] Thank you.

- They were just telling us

they got a waterfall somewhere here on the property.

Did you know that? - Oh my gosh. No.

Can we go?

- You can. You must.

Listen, girl, if that waterfall doesn't bring

at least half of your followers here, I dunno what will.

- Listen, man.

Is it a waterfall or Niagara Falls?

'Cause like for you to fit 6 million people in here,

it needs to be pretty big.

- It's not gonna be all at once, you animal.

- Oh, talking about animals.

Do you guys have a pigsty around here for the gentleman?

- Oh! Just joke, just kidding.

Just kidding.

(Thomas speaking Portuguese)

(Pedro shouting)

- [Mia] Okay.

- I hope that kid's okay.

- Excuse me? Where can we park the car?

- Oh, we can take care of that later.

Let me just show you a room.

Should I, do you need help?

- Yeah, that would be great. - Let me help you.

- [Thomas] You guys got that?

- I'm so excited. - Yeah!

- [Pedro] Porch looks beautiful.

Look at the lights. - Amazing.

- [Mia] Oh my gosh.

Look at these trees. Oh, used to me.

- [Thomas] Whoa, look at these hardwood floors.

- Mia?

- [Mia] Hi.

- This is my daughter, Lisa.

She's your biggest fan.

- Mom. - Hi, Lisa.

- Well, am I lying?

- [Mia] How are you? It's so nice to meet you.

- Hi.

- [Mia] Hi.

- She has a big poster of you in her room.

- Mom.

- [Mia] Oh my gosh. It's so fine.

Don't be shy at all.

Literally, when I was your age,

I was Taylor Swift's biggest fan,

and I had her poster all over my walls.

And then when I met her, I literally couldn't even breathe.

And I kept stuttering,

and it was just like the most awkward situation

but now were besties, so. (Lindsey laughing)

- I know. I know.

I was really nervous for you.

I watched it on your stories.

- [Mia] Oh, cute.

Well, I'm so sorry to cut this short,

but I really need to use your bathroom.

- Oh yeah. It's to the left.

- [Mia] Okay. Thank you.

I'll see you guys in a bit. Okay?

- All right. - Yay. Okay, cool.

- Bye. - Thank you so much.

(door creaking) (Mia cheers)

Okay.

Honestly, I really should have gone to the bathroom earlier.

I should have gone right after we left the beach.

But I didn't really wanna go on the side of the road

because you guys know me.

I can't go in dirty places, so,

holy crap.

This place is freaking gorgeous. Look at this light.

Oh my gosh. Wow.

They really outdid their selves this time.

What? Oh my gosh.

Do I move in? Do I put a down payment on this place?

What?

I am so excited to be here. Okay.

But actually I gotta go to the bathroom.

I'm like peeing my pants.

Thing is here,

I have 250 of you guys in the chat right now,

and there's no way that I'm gonna leave you hanging.

So what I'm gonna do is point the camera elsewhere

and maybe mute the mic for a second.

So don't hate me, I'll be back in five seconds, okay?

Okay.

All right.

Okay. So one second.

I'll be right back. Okay?

(camera shuffling)

(sighs) God bless whoever invented the 21st century toilet.

Right? (glass shattering)

(screams) Fuck!

Oh my God. What the fuck was that?

Oh my God.

- [Joss] What was that noise?

- Mia? You already breaking shit for real?

- [Mia] No, it wasn't me, I swear.

- Are you okay?

- [Mia] No. That was fucking crazy.

- Okay, okay, guys, just calm down.

- [Thomas] Going on, bro?

- [Pedro] I have no idea.

- Are you okay?

- [Mia] Yeah. That was just fucking crazy.

- Holy moly! - Someone threw something

through the fucking window.

- Are you kidding me?

- Okay, guys, I, you can just, like, stay inside

and I'll take care of this.

- I'm coming with you.

- Come back. - Be right back.

- Yeah. I will. - Yeah.

Holy shit.

- Are you kids okay?

- [Mia] Yeah. Yeah, we're okay.

It's just the sound of the window and everything.

It really freaked me out.

- It's okay. Just take some deep breaths.

We're gonna, - Look at the size of this.

Who threw this rock?

- [Mia] Oh my God.

That could've killed me. - Jesus.

- Look at this.

- It's my fault.

- Honey.

- No, he probably saw me on the live stream.

He's just trying to scare me.

- Who's trying to scare you?

- A boy from school.

You know how mean kids can be,

especially if you're a little different.

He lives a few miles down the hill,

but he always comes up here to cause trouble

whenever she's here.

I'm so sorry.

- No, no. Don't worry.

It's not your fault.

- Hey. Hey, hey, hey, listen.

He's just a hater.

He's only doing this

because he knows you're better than him.

I have thousands of them. Don't let him get you.

- How the fucker got out of here.

- It was David again.

- I know. - Yeah.

- Why don't you just call the cops?

- Because his dad is the sheriff.

- Oh my God.

There's seriously something so wrong

with the law enforcement of this town.

That's for sure.

- You said he is trying to do this because of the stream?

- Probably.

- All right, I've got an idea.

Hey there, you little fucker! - Thomas, stop.

- Listen up. I know you're watching this.

- Thomas, stop! - So why don't you go

into your father's bedroom,

grab the handcuffs, get used to them,

- Thomas, stop! - Because that's gonna be

your life from here on out if you keep shit up like this.

Here's a little piece of advice.

- Thomas. - Don't drop the bar

of soap in the shower. - Thomas, shut up.

- No, he needs to hear this. All right?

- Thomas, stop! - He's the little kid,

little punk trying break property and shit like that.

- Thomas, that's enough.

- I'm telling you, kid,

your life is gonna get real fucking me up.

- I said enough!

Stop.

When I say no, I mean no.

Hi guys. Sorry about that.

- Don't apologize for me. - Thomas can sometimes be,

- [Thomas] I meant what I said.

- Honey I need to talk to you. - Sorry.

Please know that that wasn't actually me.

- Hey guys, guys,

I'm really sorry you have to go through this

unfortunate event, but I'll be outside.

I'll be taking care of this,

and if you need anything,

please, just let me know.

- Thanks a lot, Mr. Chapman. - Thank you.

- Just, just call me Anthony.

And by the way, guys, thank you very much for being here.

Your work is really important for my company.

It's really helping my business.

So, especially you, Mia.

- Oh. - My little girl,

she's a huge fan, so thank you.

- [Mia] Oh my god, she's adorable.

- Well, she's my little angel.

Have fun, guys.

- Thanks so much, sir. - All right, guys.

So I'm a little out of breath.

This has been just crazy.

So I just think that, - Mia?

- [Joss] Can't say shit like that in front of,

- They're doing it again. - Just like that,

the kid threw a rock through the window and almost

hit your girlfriend. - Well, you have

to act a little more professional, dude.

- Don't fucking tell me, - No, Mia has

worked so hard. - Guys? Guys.

- To get us this place.

You understand? Her name is on the line.

All of our names are on the fucking line.

- Including mine.

- I just don't want us to be depicted

as some fucking spoiled influencers trying to get followers.

- No, it's because you don't want be depicted

as a fucking influencer because you want

to be a big shot Hollywood actor.

- Thomas we're still streaming - He needs to hear this.

- Good, they love drama, don't they?

Let me teach you something, kids.

All right?

You can't just go around

pretending like nothing is wrong in your life.

All right? I say what I mean to say because it's real.

Anything that comes out of my brain is what I'm thinking.

I don't care if I'm in front of a movie star,

in front of a billionaire, in front of my friends,

because that's real.

You're not always gonna have a PR team

telling you what to do.

And one day, you're gonna fuck everything up royally

and it's probably gonna end your relationship.

- Ouch. - Thomas, that's enough.

Guys, I'm sorry.

- [Joss] You know what?

- What?

You got something to say?

Shoot your shot, bro.

Look, they're all watching.

- Are you just gonna keep streaming?

- Fuck you.

- You're just gonna film this content?

Can you just stop the stream for one second? That's it.

- [Mia] Pedro?

Hi.

Would you mind taking over the stream

for a little while while I go talk to Joss?

- Yeah.

Sure, let's do this. - Yeah, take it, thanks. Bye.

- Hello guys.

- Just turn off that stream?

- It stays on.

- Sorry, man, I'm kind of,

okay, everyone,

let's just talk about something else right now.

Okay?

- Joss, I have almost over 400,000 people watching

this stream right now.

It's more than I've ever had in my entire career.

Are they only here for this chaotic bullshit?

Yes, of course. Because that is what sells online.

And you know that.

Is he an asshole? Yes, of course.

But they're my followers

and they want see me in this chaotic bullshit.

So the stream, it's gonna stay on. Okay?

Okay?

- Fine. Okay.

- Pedro? - Yeah?

- Hi.

Would you mind maybe going for a little stroll

in the forest?

Going to find a little bear or an acorn?

- Yeah, sure. Let's do it.

- Go have a cute time. - Pedro is taking over

the live stream, everyone.

Let's do this.

- Just don't hurt anyone or lose anybody, please.

- Lose anybody?

I'm gonna get you to 20 million followers tonight, baby.

Let's do this. - Okay, let's make it happen.

- Thomas? Thomas?

Thomas, come on.

- I'll watch him. - Yeah, please.

- Come on, baby. Come on.

Come on. (humming)

- I'm not a dog, all right?

(Pedro humming)

- Let's go. Let's change the vibe a little bit.

Okay? Shall we?

Because I feel that there's a really bad vibe,

a really tense vibe.

And Pedro does not like a tense vibe in his streams.

So let's start with changing the energy

and making this night so huge that we're never gonna forget.

It's gonna be a night to remember.

♪ It's gonna be a night ♪

♪ Come on, to remember ♪

♪ Come on now ♪

I don't remember the last, the rest of the lyrics.

So let's just keep moving.

Let's start with a few roots, shall we?

Because I see what you guys are coming from.

You think I do not read the comments? I do.

So fuck you to whoever called Joss a B word

and love you to whoever said

that I should be the one carrying with the live stream

for the rest of the night.

Cindy Hope is here, everyone.

Say hello to her.

- You wanna start an argument

and see if we can reach a million watchers?

Is that it?

- No, I'm not thinking about,

- I mean, I can always kick your ass if you want me to.

- She could, bro. She's an Aries.

- I have no doubt about that.

I'm just thinking about maybe just do a like, I don't know,

a cute argument or just, I don't know, no violence.

Just to boost up the stream, you know, entertainment.

Entertainment.

- Right, right, 'cause you didn't wanna end up

on those Brazilian gossip pages again, right?

- You are right. I should not be doing this.

I'm so, okay. Pedro's not here, anymore.

I'm done. Bye bye.

This is over. It's done.

- No, don't worry, guys.

He just likes to act tough in front of the camera,

but really, he's dead scared of me.

- Oh my God, bro. Look who's asking to enter the stream.

- Oh my God. I'm like gonna let him in.

- No. - I'm gonna let him in.

I'm gonna let him in. - That's a bad idea.

- It's gonna be fun, man.

- Wait, wait, who are you talking about?

- It's this Brazilian dude that Pedro fucking hates.

- I don't hate him. He hates me.

And after tonight, he's gonna hate me even more.

Let's do this. Let's so do this.

It's gonna be fun.

- [Thomas] Your funeral.

(Pedro speaking Portuguese)

(Bernardo speaking Portuguese)

(Pedro speaking Portuguese)

(Bernardo speaking Portuguese)

- What are you guys saying?

What are you saying? None of this Portuguese shit.

- Not saying anything. He's not sounding correctly.

- What are you saying, bro?

- What I'm saying that I'm jealous of the singer.

Pedro's mine. Only mine.

- Okay. This was not a good idea.

I'm so sorry, guys. I'm gonna have to cut him short.

Bye bye.

(Bernardo speaking Portuguese)

Hell yeah. I am.

Fuck you.

- You know I love you

- And I fucking hate you.

It was not a good idea.

Guys, look at the trees.

It feels like we're in twilight.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't try and change the subject. We all heard that.

It's on the internet, brother.

The truth is out there.

- What truth?

- There is no truth to be told.

Thomas is always drunk.

He's always joking. You can't believe Thomas.

You know that.

So let's just, I'm gonna show you guys the forest.

It's so beautiful out here, that Mia told me to do this,

and this is what I'm gonna do.

- And since when have you listened to Mia? Huh?

- Since she made me the host

of the biggest live stream I've ever been a part of.

- That's good.

Well, use your five seconds of fame,

because here the queen comes

and King Asshole's probably not far behind.

- Oh, Mia!

Mia's back, guys. So I'm gonna have to cut this.

Thank you so much for the attention.

Thank you so much for the love.

I see you guys soon.

This was so amazing for me.

And keep on with your queen, Mia.

Mia, take cover to livestream because they miss you.

They miss you so much.

I only tripped a few.

- Hey. Where's Captain Shitty Fucking Attitude?

- [Mia] I don't know.

I think he went to go look at the waterfall or something.

Needed air.

- It's the middle of the night.

- So since my spotlight moment was already stolen,

(Mia laughing)

let's go light up that fireplace.

- Ooh. - And burn some marshmallows

like typical Americans do.

- All right. - All right, all right.

Sounds good, but you're not gonna be the one doing the fire

'cause you're gonna set this whole place ablaze.

- Oh, don't do that. - How dare you?

- [Mia] Maybe let's not set the whole place on fire.

- So like half, quarter, eighth, 32nd?

I can keep going. - No. How about no?

- We need to be a little specific

'cause I'm about to start.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Dude, back.

- [Cindy] Pedro, not funny.

- No, it's closed. I'm not crazy.

- Dude. - No, you are crazy.

I just didn't know if you were that crazy.

- Oh, I have an idea.

Come here, come now. Come there.

Come there. Grab it. - Okay, yeah, yeah.

- Okay, so I'm gonna be holding this,

and the fire's gonna be,

there's gonna be huge fire right here.

- Oh yeah. - And then,

I'm going to be burning off the fireplace in the back

with the moon right there,

shining up, - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- And the title of the view's gonna be

we burned the client's cabin down.

(pair laughing)

- That's a hard no. - That's gonna be click bait

right there.

- It's not click bait.

It's only click bait if it's fake.

- Yeah, yeah. You're right.

Okay, okay. Okay.

But what about this?

If you burn the cabin down for real,

I will delete my TikTok.

- [Mia] No!

- No, are you serious? - (laughs) Yeah.

(Pedro speaking Portuguese)

- [Thomas] I think I agree with you.

- Okay, so that might,

might be worth it for me to pay for the damages of the cabin

just to see you lose your precious TikTok account.

- Millions.

- Oh, I dunno.

Do you make that much off of standup comedy yet?

- I don't know.

- Excuse me? - Not that much. Not yet.

- We're leaving now.

- [Mia] Oh, okay. Coming over.

I'm coming. I'm coming, I'm coming.

Hi.

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for everything

if we caused you guys any stress at all.

- Oh, no, you're fine.

You guys are great.

I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

Actually, I wanted to ask you something.

- [Mia] Yeah, sure.

- Would it be okay if Lisa hung out

with you guys for a little bit?

My husband will come pick her up later?

- [Mia] Yeah, of course.

- Ma'am?

I actually have to tell you one thing.

It might be the worst thing you do in your entire life.

Because one night, simply one night,

with influencers is like a werewolf bite.

It turns you into a monster!

(Pedro howling)

- [Mia] No, it doesn't. I promise you that.

Don't worry.

- I guess I have to take that risk.

- [Pedro] Well, that's on you.

(Lindsey laughing)

- Everything okay?

All right. You kids have fun.

- [Mia] Oh, thanks so much. See you later.

- Bye. - Have good night.

- Bye. (laughs)

Hi. Wanna sit?

(laughs) So I hear you're my biggest fan.

- Yeah.

I watch all your videos.

- Oh, and what do you do when I don't post anything?

- I watch theirs.

- See guys? She is a One True Me addict.

You guys have to follow her steps.

You know what to tell them to do. Don't you?

- Subscribe?

- Yeah, sure. You don't have to be so shy, though.

- I don't think they're gonna like me.

- What? No, of course they're gonna like you.

Right, you guys? Why wouldn't they?

- Most people think I'm kind of weird.

- Oh, well, what's the fun of being ordinary? Huh?

- I don't know.

- Okay.

Name me one influencer that became famous by being ordinary.

Exactly. See?

You're one of us.

We're weird underdogs from the real world

that made our own in our own way.

Are there still assholes out there that piss us off?

Yes. 1000%.

Honestly, that's why I can't even read the comments anymore.

Please don't get mad at me, guys.

I know, I'm sorry.

It's just, every time I read something

about how fake my boobs are

or something regarding my body, I just get so much anxiety.

But there is such a bright side to everything.

I get to hang out with people like you

who connect to my work and feel like we're real friends

in the real world.

- You're my friend?

- Yeah, of course.

You're fucking awesome. Right, guys?

- You think so?

- [Mia] Yeah. 1000%.

- I knew you would understand me.

- Yes! Of course I do.

I'm not like those bullies at your school.

We're the same.

- Thank you.

- For what?

- For being my friend.

- Oh, of course. You don't ever have to thank me for that.

I've got your back and you've got mine.

- All right.

- All right!

So what do we tell the people to do?

- Subscribe!

- Yes. That's my girl.

Oh my gosh.

You're gonna be,

- [Thomas] Mia, Mia, Mia. Sorry, kid.

Come here, Mia.

Look at this.

It's a cup, (speaking Portuguese)

He's doing some, he's summoning the fire god.

(Pedro chanting)

- Pedro, what the fuck are you doing? Stop.

This is so offensive. I'm streaming.

- What? Trying to make the fire go up.

So small.

- What? You wanna set the whole forest on fire?

- No. Okay, guys, I'm really sorry about that.

Pedro can sometimes be culturally insensitive.

- [Pedro] What?

- [Mia] Yeah.

- Mia, can you just gimme a hand with these animals, please?

- Animals? - Why?

- Who are you calling an animal?

It was your boyfriend trying to summon the cap, what?

Captueta, the Capria? What's his name?

- Boyfriend?

- Oh. - Yes.

Let's just sit down and, you know,

just enjoy the fire and burn some marshmallows.

Play some dumb songs. You know?

- Pedro Carvalho?

Are you embarrassed that I used the term boyfriend?

Look at his face.

(Thomas laughing)

Oh my God. - Oh my gosh.

We're seeing a red face firsthand embarrassment.

- He likes Cindy. It's confirmed.

♪ Pedro and Cindy sitting in a tree ♪

♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪

(Pedro laughing)

- You're so fucking funny, dude.

You should be a comedian.

Should create a TikTok account. You know that?

- I get it. I get it.

- Funny.

Oh, Cindy, why don't you play a song for?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Me?

- No, me.

Who else is a professional musician around here?

- I mean, I don't know.

I really don't wanna mess up your stream or anything.

- Oh my God. - Mess up?

- Mess up the stream?

We're going viral, right?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Then a private concert

from Cindy Hope is probably gonna push us over a million.

Is that right? Are you gonna view it?

- Yes. Guys, leave a comment below.

Let us know what you think.

♪ Play for us ♪

♪ Play for us ♪

♪ Play for us ♪

♪ Play for us ♪

- Come on. Play for us.

- Okay.

(Mia and Thomas cheering)

(Pedro speaking Portuguese) I'll do it.

I'll do it.

- Oh, go get her guitar, man.

- All right. All right, all right.

I'll get your guitar. - Oh, be careful

with him, please. - Yeah Thomas, don't drop it.

(Thomas murmuring)

Oh, okay.

Anyway.

Oh my gosh. You guys are in for such a treat.

You're gonna get an exclusive concert

from one of the most talented musicians in the world today,

my best friend, the one and only Cindy Hope!

Okay. What's your TikTok?

I'm just gonna write it in there.

- [Cindy] I don't have one.

- What?

- She doesn't need one.

- Okay, then how about,

go to her Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter then?

- No Twitter either.

- [Mia] No way!

- No, I mean, it's just,

there's just so much hate out there, you know?

So I thought deleting it all

and just clearing my head would be the best for me.

Makes sense, right? - I agree with her.

Make a lot of sense. Yeah.

I hate Twitter. - Yeah.

- Okay. Yeah.

Well, Pedro, I think you'd agree with anything she'd say.

But anyway, all my me addicts, you know what to do.

Go to her social media pages she does have

and send her all the most amount of love

that you possibly can.

And I know you guys will do it.

Also, let us know what song you wanna hear.

Oh.

(Thomas humming)

Oh my gosh.

Careful with him. Don't drop it.

- R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.

- [Mia] Okay.

- My lady.

- Adam, you survived Thomas.

- Adam?

- [Mia] Levine?

- [Thomas] Ah, yeah. He's a pop star, famous musician.

- [Mia] Literally like the hottest human on this planet.

- [Thomas] It's just tattoos.

They go crazy for tattoos. - I know.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my God. Everyone's asking if they can borrow him tonight.

- Sorry, Adam's all mine.

- [Thomas] Talking about the guitar or the pop star?

- Maybe both. (laughs)

Maybe Adam Levine's in this chat now.

- [Thomas] Help her out, man. Help her out.

- Oh, you need help?

- Yeah, Thomas, I think you broke the case.

- I didn't break shit. - Thomas?

You're always breaking thing, - Oh my God, Thomas.

- You did it? - What'd you do?

Hot glue it shut?

- [Thomas] Oh, you're catching onto my pranks now.

- Oh, it's stuck here. Oh, got it, got it, got it.

- Okay. - You see, Thomas?

I'm always fixing your messes.

You should thank me.

- [Thomas] I think you guys make a really good team.

- [Mia] So does everyone else on this chat too.

- You know what? You know what you should play?

(Pedro singing in Portuguese)

- What's that?

- A Brazilian gospel song.

- [Mia] Oh, do you go to church?

- No, no. It's just, it's a meme.

- Yeah. Okay. - Yeah.

- [Mia] All right, well guys, let her sing. Okay?

- Okay.

- Let's put it on here today.

(guitar strumming)

Okay, here goes.

(guitar strumming)

♪ Sometimes I like to reminisce on the past ♪

♪ If I didn't take pictures ♪

♪ I don't know if it'd last ♪

♪ But you like to interrupt my dreams from time to time ♪

♪ I wonder what my life would be if I didn't call you mine ♪

♪ Maybe I'd be a movie star ♪

♪ You always liked to think I'd go that far ♪

♪ Maybe I still would be a mess ♪

♪ Empty-hearted, always stressed ♪

♪ But I'd still like to thank you for the best ♪

(guitar strumming) (fire crackling)

(group cheering)

- (laughs) Oh my God, right?

- Oh my gosh.

My best friend is the most talented human on planet earth.

- Amazing!

God damn.

Pedro, compliment her.

- Huh?

- [Thomas] Say something.

- The song was beautiful.

For real. (Thomas laughing)

- I'm just glad that we got

to witness the most romantic compliment from Pedro.

- Fuck you, sir.

- Is that how you're gonna speak in front of the ladies?

- Oh yeah.

- You see, this is why they think

that all Brazilians are rude.

- Whoa! No, no, no, no, no, no.

We don't. We don't, at all.

That's not accurate.

- You did not.

Oh no.

Dude, you know. - I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. - You know better.

- I know, I know, I know. - You know you never,

ever talk about Brazilian.

- No, Thomas. He's right.

It's rule number one on the internet.

Never say anything bad about Brazilians.

- He's so done. - I'm sorry. Don't cancel me.

(Pedro speaking Portuguese) (Thomas chattering)

- Okay, I don't know what they're saying.

But don't do it, guys.

I'm so sorry.

You know how Thomas can be.

He says the weirdest stuff sometimes,

whatever comes to his head.

And it's usually not the smartest thing.

But I just want you all to know, we love you.

So does Thomas.

Don't cancel him. He didn't mean it.

He was just making fun of Pedro.

They have a really,

(Thomas yelping)

- [Cindy] Thomas?

- You okay, man?

- [Cindy] What happened?

Thomas?

- Oh my God.

- You okay, man? You hurt?

- Oh my God, my hand.

- Oh fuck!

- Oh my God. - Oh my God.

Tom, you okay?

- I don't know. I was just walking.

And I tripped. - Holy shit.

- Don't just stand there. Do something.

- [Mia] Through your whole hand?

- Take it out. Take it out!

- Don't touch it. - I'm not gonna touch it.

I'm not fucking I'm crazy.

- [Mia] Wait, someone go get some alcohol.

We need to sterilize it.

- Go, go, go, go, go, go.

- [Mia] Go, go. Oh my God.

Holy shit. It's through his whole hand.

Oh my God. - My fucking hand.

- [Mia] Can you move your hand?

- Yes!

- Look at me. - Holy shit.

Oh my God. I'm gonna throw up.

Oh my God, I can't with blood.

(Thomas whimpering)

- It's not gonna be fucking okay.

- We're gonna call, - Pedro!

- You need to take me to the hospital.

Yes, take me to the hospital right now.

- [Mia] Pedro, hurry up!

(Pedro shouting)

- Breathing.

- [Mia] Oh my God. Hurry up, Pedro!

What the fuck?

- Here, here, here.

- [Mia] Pedro, what the hell is this?

- It's alcohol.

- Oh my God. - No, no, no, no.

- Cindy, hold this for a second.

Oh my God, okay.

Listen, I know this is gonna hurt.

- No, it's a bad,

- No, it's not. Okay.

Listen, I'm gonna count to three. Okay?

- Hold on, hold on.

- Okay.

- Oh. Oh. - Okay, good idea.

Okay, you ready? - Okay, doing this.

- I know. One.

I'm gonna hold it here. Is that okay?

One, two, three.

(Thomas groaning)

(Mia screaming)

What the fuck?

- [Cindy] Thomas!

- You

son

of

a bitch.

- You're so annoying!

- [Cindy] Seriously?

- Oh my God. I can't believe you guys fell for that.

- [Cindy] You're so stupid.

- [Thomas] A piece of metal in the middle of the woods?

What are you smoking? - What the hell is wrong

with you? - Oh my God.

Thomas, you're such an asshole!

- Whoa.

Be careful. That's real metal.

- [Cindy] Oh, I'm sorry.

Maybe then we'll have a real reason to worry about you.

Right? Is that it? - What is wrong with you guys?

Why are you so, - So low, man.

- [Mia] You're so annoying.

- You want me to call the wine-bulance?

You need a little bit of cheese with your wine?

- [Cindy] Oh shut up.

- All right. - Here, Mia, take this.

- [Mia] I got it.

- [Thomas] It was a joke.

You know that I had to do it. - That wasn't even funny guys.

- I am never, ever believing you again.

In my life. - Oh, you love me.

You love me.

That's why you wanted to take care of me.

You love me. - Oh, you want me

to take care of you? - Yes.

- You think we'd bring you soup in bed?

- All right, that's good with me.

Guys, I probably just got us over a million views,

so you're welcome.

Okay?

But that being said,

that did knock some shit loose in me.

So I'm gonna go drop the kids off at the pool.

- [Mia] You're disgusting.

- [Pedro] Have some fun with your shit.

- Oh, I will. I'm gonna write you a love poem.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Pedro Carvalho, my shit is for you.

- [Mia] You're actually foul.

- [Cindy] Let's move on.

- Oh my God.

- [Mia] Okay, well just like be careful

with the glass on the floor in there.

- Didn't Anthony clean that up already?

- [Mia] I don't know.

- All right. Well, if he didn't, I will.

Because I'm a responsible human being

and because my girlfriend has domesticated me.

- [Mia] I don't think that's accurate information.

- [Thomas] You guys fell for it.

- Okay. Good night.

Okay, so anyway, let's read some comments.

My God, there's so many coming in right now.

I can't even read them all.

- [Cindy] How many people are watching?

- 450,000.

- Oh my God. - We could keep going.

- I love you guys so much.

- Hey, turn the camera on me. Turn the camera.

Hey guys. Pedro Carvalho here.

So if you guys wanna see some really cool content,

some funny shit, go on my Instagram and follow me

'cause I'm pretty cool.

I promise you.

- Aw.

He actually is pretty funny.

Okay, let's see.

Okay, we have Mr. Goosebumps,

and he's asking us,

who's the most annoying out of the bunch?

- Thomas.

(Mia laughing) - Oh, oh.

Seriously?

- Sorry.

- For real?

- I'm gonna have to agree with her, Pedro, 100%.

- Okay. Okay.

It might, just might, - Might?

- Maybe be true. - Maybe.

- Okay. Anyway.

Anyway, let's see.

Oh.

Aw. Cindy Hope Forever is saying, oh.

When are you two gonna get together?

I think that's my cue to leave.

- Mia?

Mia? - Yeah, I'm gonna go

back to the cabin for a second.

- Mia, serious.

- [Mia] All right, guys. I'll see you in a bit.

- No, no, no. Love you.

- Come back here. Mia?

- [Mia] Bye bye now.

- No, no, Mia, please.

Please, seriously. - XO, XO.

Bye!

Guys (indistinct) little secret section

so we can watch what's happening.

(footsteps crunching)

(fire crackling) (insects buzzing)

- So?

- So?

- Nice song.

- Thanks.

- I can't wait to hear when it's done.

I mean, when it's fully done.

I mean, not that it's not good right now.

It's fucking amazing. Your voice is beautiful.

Just that, I'm gonna stop talking.

- No, don't.

- And did you?

- (indistinct) even though you're not exactly saying

the right words.

I understand what you're trying to tell me.

- My fucking accent.

- No, no, no. It's not the accent.

I promise you.

- [Mia] My God.

- Do you think it's weird

that people online keep saying

that we supposed to be together?

- Well, no. I don't think it's weird at all.

Why?

Oh, you'd thought I'd be shy about that?

You think I'm some virgin, funny guy?

- No. No, it's just, it's not that

(Cindy laughing)

- So what the fuck are you waiting for to kiss me then?

(insects buzzing)

(Mia squealing)

- Oh my gosh. I can't sit there any longer.

I'm gonna like pee my pants.

Seriously, that was the cutest thing ever.

Call me fucking Cupid,

because I literally just orchestrated that entire situation.

I just like, whoa. Sorry. Okay.

This hill is really steep near our cabin. I'm good.

Thanks, guys.

Okay, so I just need you all to know also,

Cindy Hope isn't a real commenter.

I set that whole thing up.

So I just felt like it was the right time,

because Pedro is a fucking comedian,

and Cindy sells out concerts,

and I just don't understand how they can both be so like,

oh, weird about the situation.

You both like each other. You're both freaking hot.

Just tell each other you like each other and wanna kiss.

I don't know.

Ooh, but I don't know.

People need some confidence in other areas.

You know, but comment.

Let me know what you guys think, how far they might go.

Okay.

(door knocking)

(Mia sighs)

Thomas, are you still in there?

Oh my gosh, he's so annoying.

(door knocking) Thomas, I'm gonna come in.

Okay?

He's so annoying.

Okay, I'm gonna come in.

Don't get mad when I show your dick to the whole world.

Fuck, Thomas.

Are you serious?

You're seriously so fucking annoying.

Thomas, stop with the fucking pranks already.

Okay, Thomas, you won.

(Mia screaming)

Oh my God!

(Mia screaming)

Help!

(Mia screaming) (feet kicking)

- [Cindy] Oh my God.

- [Pedro] What the fuck? Oh my God.

What the hell?

(Mia hyperventilating)

Thomas?

- [Cindy] Thomas.

What are you doing?

- [Pedro] Dude.

Dude, stop with that shit, man.

This is not funny at all, man. This is got, this is over.

It's over. Prank's over, man.

Please.

(Mia hyperventilating)

Thomas?

You're freaking me out, bro.

You're fucking freaking me out.

- Oh my God. - Oh fuck.

Oh fuck.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Get out of here.

Get out of here. - Mia? What happened?

- [Pedro] Get out of here.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. - Did you see what happened?

- [Pedro] Can, can, can,

- Pedro!

Pedro? - Okay, okay.

Get outta here. - Talk to me.

Hey, you need to talk to me.

Pedro?

Pedro, I need you to call the cops.

Pedro, call the cops!

Now. Go!

- [Pedro] Okay. Okay.

Oh fuck.

Oh fuck.

Fuck. Okay.

Okay, okay.

Oh my God.

Hello?

Hello. Hi.

I'm at a cabin, Bear Lake, Big Bear Lake.

My friend is,

no, my friend.

My friend is hurt.

Just send some help, please.

Oh, the,

Mia, the address?

Mia?

- Mia?

- Oh fuck. Hold on a second. - Mia?

- [Pedro] Hold on.

(footsteps pounding)

(Pedro speaking Portuguese)

Just hold on. Yeah.

(footsteps padding)

- Mia. - Okay, found it, found it.

Got it, it's 750 Pine Lane.

Okay, just please hurry. Please hurry.

- Mia. - Okay. Okay.

- Mia, give me your hand.

Gimme your hand, please.

- Started. - Mia.

- I can't.

- I know you can't but I need, - Oh my God.

Oh my God. (coughing)

Oh God. Oh my God, oh my God.

- Pedro, Pedro, what'd they say?

- [Pedro] 20, 30 minutes.

- That's way too long.

- [Pedro] That's what they said.

- Are you kidding me?

Then we need to get outta here right now.

(Pedro whimpering)

Pedro, Pedro, we don't know,

we don't know who did this to Thomas.

We need to get out of here.

- My phone.

- What?

- My phone.

- Oh shit.

- Oh my God. Is it still, is it going?

- I'm gonna turn that shit off.

- No, no, no, no. No, no, no.

If it's on, they can be our witnesses.

We can't let anything happen to us

and have no one know.

We're in the middle of nowhere.

Leave it on. Leave it on. - You're right, you're right.

Oh my God.

Oh my God. - Pedro, go outside.

Go outside. Pedro! Go.

(Pedro wheezing) Mia?

Hey, I want you to hold my hand.

Hold my hand. Okay, come on.

Come on. It's okay. (Pedro sobbing)

Come on, stand up. Stand up.

(Mia whimpers)

(Pedro coughing)

Mia, stand up. Stand up. (Mia wheezing)

- I can't. Can't. - Stand up. Mia, stand up.

- Come on.

Stand up.

(Mia sobbing) - No, don't. No, no, no, no.

(Mia sobbing) It's okay. It's okay.

Don't, don't look.

Okay. Here.

I need you to stay calm right now.

Just not too fast.

Okay. Everything's gonna be fine.

Okay, I need you to sit down. Sit down.

You sit right here.

And whatever you do, do not end the stream.

- Yeah.

- Everything's gonna be fine.

(Cindy breathing) (footsteps tapping)

- Fuck.

- I'm back.

(footsteps thudding)

(Joss sighs)

(footsteps thudding)

What happened?

What's going on?

- Joss, can you come here?

Don't go near the bathroom.

- Don't, don't go near the bath?

What are you talking about?

- Did anyone come here?

Did anyone come to the cabin - What?

- While we were in the back?

- I don't know.

I've been walking around the woods for a bit.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

I've been trying to go check out

that waterfall they told us about.

And it was super far.

And so I just came back.

And, - What?

- What?

(footsteps tapping)

- What's up with your hand?

- This?

This? It's nothing.

Some fucking jackass broke a beer bottle

by the edge of the lake.

- A beer bottle?

- Yeah?

What's up?

- Just,

so you left right after you had a fight with Thomas,

and you come back with a cut in your hand,

- Pedro. Pedro. - From broken glass?

- Calm down.

- Are you high or something?

What's going on?

- Look at his hand.

- I know.

- Just, just look at his hand.

- I know. I know, I saw.

I know what it looks like.

- He said he cut it with broken glass.

- I know. - Just please,

tell me you didn't kill Thomas.

- You are high as fuck.

What are you talking about?

I killed Thomas? - You need to stop it.

Stop.

- Just don't go near him. Okay?

Don't, can't.

- Dude, you are freaking me out right now.

This is a prank, right?

- No prank.

No prank. Okay?

- I need to talk to him.

I need to, - No, no, no, no.

Don't go near him.

This is not a prank. Okay?

I just need you to,

you left, disappeared.

And you got a cut in your hand from broken glass

at the exact moment Thomas was killed in the bathroom

with broken glass. - Oh, oh, wait, wait,

what the fuck are you talking about,

Thomas was killed in the bathroom?

(footsteps tapping)

- We found him there.

(footsteps thudding)

- Holy shit. What the fuck?

Holy shit. What the fuck happened?

What, what happened? What the fuck happened?

What is that? What is that?

- You tell me.

- You think I did that?

Oh my God.

- Who else could it be?

- I don't know. Call the police.

- I did that.

They're on their way.

- Okay. Okay.

- Okay?

- Yeah, okay.

- You're not afraid?

- What should I be afraid of?

- Guys, we need to get the hell out of here

right now. - Yeah.

- Not until he tells me he didn't do this.

- You think I murdered Thomas?

- Just please tell me you didn't kill him.

- Are you fucking, go fuck yourself, Pedro.

- Go fuck myself?

Go fuck myself?

Go fuck my, you are the one who fucking left

and came back with a cut in your hand.

So you better tell me that

that cut in your hand came from the mysterious bottle

from the mysterious fucking water hole.

- Yes, it came from the mysterious bottle

from the mysterious fucking water hole.

Is that what you want to hear?

- Exactly what I wanna fucking hear!

- Guys, we don't have time to do this.

We need to get outta here right now!

Seriously.

- You are hiding something.

- Why the fuck do you think that?

- Because you're the only one here who was never my friend!

- Guys!

Stop! (phone clattering)

- Fuck!

- Mia, do you hear what the,

- [Mia] Shut the fuck up, Joss!

- This is a prank, right?

- [Mia] I said, shut the fuck up.

(footsteps tapping)

(Mia breathing)

Where were you?

- Oh, come on. You too?

What? I said.

- [Mia] Answer the fucking question.

- I was, I was in the woods just getting some blood

for the next "Blair Witch Project" or some shit.

- And your fucking hand? - But his hand.

- Yes, I know.

(Joss laughing)

- A fucking movie role. - Stop laughing!

This isn't a fucking joke.

- Oh, this isn't a fucking joke.

You know what is a joke?

You're accusing me of fucking murder,

and you're still fucking streaming

and you're accusing me of murder!

Did you know that?

And you're gonna fuck up my career.

You're gonna fuck up my life.

- [Mia] Oh, that's what this is all fucking about.

Isn't it? Your precious, god damn, fucking acting career.

You know what?

That's all you fucking care about is marching down

Hollywood fucking Boulevard on a red god damn carpet.

But you're a bigger fraud than all of us.

You hide behind this fucking artist persona.

- Oh, I'm the biggest fucking fraud?

Who the fuck do you think you are?

You stupid fucking bitch.

- [Mia] Oh, I'm a fucking,

look, everyone, Joss Meyers is finally showing us

who he really fucking is.

An asshole!

You know what, Joss?

I'm finally fucking done defending this bullshit.

- That's good.

That's, that's really good. (laughs)

I'm the actor here, right?

Oh, okay. You guys are, you know?

Who the fuck do you think you are?

You fucking put on this stupid fucking perfect persona

with some stupid asshole minions

who think you have an actual life.

- Fuck you, man. You're a fucking actor!

- Go fuck yourself!

(men shouting)

- Fucking content you need?

You got it, you fucking piece of shit.

- Pedro! Stop! - Fuck you!

- Go back home!

Listen to me.

Since you've been fucking talking about yourselves

this whole fucking time!

None of you are fucking artists. Not even remotely.

Oh, you heard me, right?

Oh, you're a little fucking angry.

You think you're so important

because these stupid fucking followers

think you're fucking important.

But in reality,

you're nothing but a fucking influencer.

That's it. Nothing else.

Fuck you! Shut the fuck up!

(door thuds) (Mia gasps)

- [Mia] What?

(footsteps pounding)

- Oh, Lisa! - Oh my God.

- [Mia] Oh, thank God it's you.

- I was taking a shower. - Oh my gosh, are you okay?

- What's going on?

- I'm so sorry I forgot about you.

Okay.

- Mia,

- [Mia] Get the fuck away from me.

- Just think straight for just one second.

Just, please.

(Mia shouts) (fist thudding)

Ow! What the fuck?

- Come on! - Mia!

- Go, Cindy. Go, go! - Mia, what are you doing?

- Run! - What?

- [Mia] Follow me. Follow me, Lisa.

Don't stop fucking running. Just keep running.

Don't look away. Just keep going.

It's gonna be okay.

Hold my hand. - Okay.

- [Mia] Don't let go, okay? I've got you.

I won't let you go. - Okay.

- It's okay. I know it's steep.

Stay low to the ground. Stay low.

Okay, we're gonna go this way. We're gonna go this way.

I've got us, I'm going to,

- Mia! - Keep going, this way.

Don't stop.

- [Lindsey] I can't, I'm sorry.

- [Mia] Lisa, we have to keep going.

Can you do that for me?

It's very important. Okay?

- I can't. I can't.

- [Mia] We have to.

- [Joss] Mia?

- [Mia] Shit.

- Mia? - In there, in the woods.

Go, go, go, go, go.

Get down, down.

(Mia shushes)

(gravel crunching)

Get low.

(camera shuffling)

- [Joss] Mia, come on.

Stop this bull shit. Come on.

Mia? This is so stupid.

(Mia shushes)

Mia? (gravel crunching)

Let's just talk. Okay?

(phone ringing)

Are you fucking kidding me? Come on.

Mia?

Stop kidding ourselves. Okay?

- [Mia] Lisa, you stay behind me.

- Are you serious?

- [Mia] The cops are on their way.

- Good!

What? Are they gonna arrest me?

- [Mia] They've seen everything.

- What are they gonna see? What evidence do you have?

- [Mia] I have all the evidence.

I haven't stopped this stream once,

and everybody knows it could have only been you.

- What? Because I cut my hand?

Just use your head for a second.

Maybe somebody walked into the house while I was gone.

Did you think about that?

Probably not,

because you're so busy with your stupid stream.

- [Mia] Thomas is dead.

- Yeah, and you're still streaming.

- [Mia] For our safety.

- That is bull shit.

What, are you, are you at your million views already?

Is that what you fucking say? That's so fucked up.

Somebody is dead. Thomas is dead.

You don't give a shit?

- [Mia] Fuck you.

- Oh, that's, that's, that's okay. Okay, okay.

Let's say that again. Get our head straight.

Okay? Let's get our head straight.

Okay? You're terrified.

I am so fucking scared.

There's a dead body

right over there. - Stay behind me.

- And just think, okay,

why, why would I murder somebody?

You know me, right? You know me.

- [Mia] I thought I did.

- [Lisa] Mia?

- Gimme that. - Get away!

No, give it back! - Give me the phone.

No, no, give me the phone. - No, no.

(instrument banging)

Oh my God.

- Mom?

- Honey!

Are you okay?

Are you all right?

- [Mia] Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I'm okay.

- Are you hurt?

Anthony has first aid, a kit in the car.

- How did you know we were here?

- It was David.

He came to the house.

He told us everything about Mia's livestream.

- [Mia] Oh my God. I need to find Pedro and Cindy.

- [Lisa] No, wait, wait, wait. Stay with us.

- [Mia] I can't. I have to make sure they're okay.

- No, but my parents, they can help us.

Let's just, just stay with me. We can find them afterwards.

- [Mia] Sorry, Lisa. I need to make sure they're okay.

I can't leave them alone.

- No, wait. Why?

- [Mia] Because they're my friends.

I can't leave them behind.

- But what about me? Am I not your friend?

- [Mia] Well, of course you're my friend,

but I have to find them. - But you said, you said,

you said, I got your back and you got mine, right?

- [Mia] Yes. I have got your back.

But I've gotta go now. Okay?

- No, no, no, no, no,

No, wait. You, you,

- Honey, honey.

Let her find her friends.

- No, but,

but they left her.

They left her and ran away.

I was here the whole time.

I'm the one who's your friend.

- [Mia] Sorry, Lisa, but I really gotta go now.

- [Lisa] No!

You're not going.

- [Mia] What?

- You know.

You know they're not really your friends.

They don't know you like I do.

They don't love you like I do.

You have to know that. I know you know that.

Come on. You have to stay with me.

- Honey, what are you saying?

- They're trying to,

they're trying to come and take her.

They're trying to take her away from me.

But I won't let them take her away from me.

- [Mia] Lisa, if I gave you the wrong impression, I'm sorry.

But they're my friends. They're like my family.

And there's no way in hell that I'm leaving them alone here

because of a fan.

- That, that's all I am to you?

I'm just a fan?

- [Mia] No.

- But you told me.

You said, you said that you were my friend.

You said you were my friend.

You're not their friend. You're my friend.

- Honey, stop.

- No.

No, they're trying, they're trying steal her away.

They're trying to steal her away,

and it's just like Thomas trying to steal you away.

- Lisa.

- You're not going.

You can't.

You can't go.

- [Mia] Lisa, just put the knife down. Okay?

Put it down.

- I don't have to do what you say.

- Lisa?

We talked about this.

- No.

No, you brought her to me,

and you promised me that she would like me.

You promised me that she would be my friend.

- [Mia] But I am your friend. I am.

- Then why are you leaving me?

- [Mia] Because of Pedro and Cindy.

- But, but what about me?

- [Mia] You have your mom and your dad.

- No, no. They don't understand me.

They don't understand me like you do.

- Honey, put it down.

- Shut up!

- [Mia] Lisa.

(owl hooting)

- You have my back, and I have yours.

- [Mia] Okay. Okay.

You're right.

You're exactly right.

I have your back. You have mine.

Okay? I'm not gonna leave you, okay?

I'm gonna stay here with you,

and nobody's gonna take me away, okay?

- You promise? - It's just,

oh, I promise, yeah, we're gonna,

it's just you and me, like best friends, right?

Like sisters. - Yeah.

- [Mia] Besties. Okay?

- Okay.

- [Mia] Yeah. I understand you.

And you understand me.

So what do best friends do?

We trust each other, right? Right?

Okay, so,

if you trust me, just, just let's put the knife down.

Okay? I'll help you.

We'll do it together. Okay?

I'm gonna hug you. Okay?

It's okay.

Just put it down together.

- Okay. - We're together.

We're together. It's gonna okay, all right?

(Mia shushing)

Everything's gonna be okay.

- [Lisa] No.

No, no, no!

(Mia grunts)

- [Mia] Fuck.

(Lisa and Mia grunting)

- You know.

(Mia grunting)

- Mia, no, no.

No, no, no. I didn't.

I didn't. I'm sorry.

Mia.

(Mia grunting)

No. No, no, no, no.

- Lisa?

Lisa?

Oh my God. Oh my God.

- I didn't, I didn't mean to.

I'm sorry.

(Lisa sobbing)

- Lisa?

- What?

- Listen to me. We have to go.

- No, I can't leave her.

- Lisa?

- What?

- We have to go now.

- No, I'm not gonna leave her.

- Lisa, listen to me. Listen to me.

We cannot stay here. We have to go now.

Come here. Come here.

We have to find your father.

Come on. Come on.

Listen to me. Honey, please, please.

Come on. Come on, come on.

I know, I know. I know, honey.

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

(Lisa sobbing)

It's gonna be okay.

Gonna be okay.

It's gonna be,

no, no, no, no, no.

(Lisa sobbing)

(insects buzzing)

(owl hooting)

(insects buzzing)

(Pedro shouting)

(insects buzzing)

- Hold on, hold on. Stay here, stay.

Mia?

Mia?

Oh my God!

(Cindy shouting) Oh my God.

(Cindy crying) (Pedro breathing)

We have to get the fuck outta here.

- Where's the fucking police?

- They should be here already.

- No. No.

No, we,

- No, no, Cindy, stay here.

- No, I need to see Mia.

Mia? Mia!

- Look at me, look at me.

Look at me, okay?

Look at me.

(Cindy sobbing) Look at me.

Cindy, please, look at me.

And don't look at her.

Look in my eyes.

Look in my eyes.

Everything's gonna be all right.

Don't look at her.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Okay?

- [Cindy] Who would do that?

- [Pedro] I have no idea. I have no idea.

(Cindy hyperventilating)

- [Cindy] The camera.

Mia, Mia's phone.

See if it's still on.

(gravel crunching)

(phone shuffling)

- Still streaming. - It's on?

- It's still streaming.

- Oh my God.

If you're near Big Bear Lake or any town nearby,

please help us.

(Cindy sobbing)

- Hey, Nina?

Nina Bloom.

Yeah, she's trying to, answer the call.

- Is it?

- Nina?

- Hey, you guys. What the fuck are you up to?

All everyone's talking about

on Twitter is this fucking stream.

- You gotta help. You gotta help.

- Sure.

Anything to be part of the biggest prank of the year.

- This isn't a prank.

- Whatever you say, Cindy.

- Nina, Nina, we're in Big Bear Lake.

Send somebody here, please.

I'm gonna send you the address.

- Pedro, stop.

You're scaring me.

Hey.

Cindy? Cindy, calm down.

Let me talk to Mia.

Where is she?

(Cindy sobbing)

Cindy, where's Mia?

Where is Mia?

Where the fuck is,

(phone beeping)

- [Cindy] Pedro?

Pedro, we need to do something.

(Pedro crying)

- Fuck. Fuck.

Joss?

Joss?

- [Cindy] Joss? Joss?

Is he alive?

- Joss?

Oh, thank God.

Joss!

You okay, man?

- Oh my God.

- You okay?

- Oh, why did you do that?

- What?

- Why did you hit me in the back of the head?

- [Cindy] That wasn't him.

- Who was it?

- Gimme your hand. Gimme your hand.

I'll help you up. Come here.

Come on. Easy.

(Joss groans)

Come on, come on.

Easy, man. Easy, bro.

What?

No, no, no, Joss.

Joss, look at me.

Look at me. Stop, Joss.

No, stop. No, no.

(Cindy crying) (Joss mumbling)

(Cindy crying)

- [Joss] What happened?

What happened?

- [Pedro] I don't know.

- [Joss] Who did this?

Who the fuck did this?

- [Cindy] Oh my god.

Where,

where's Lisa?

The girl, the girl. Where's the girl?

(Joss crying)

- You think something happened to her?

- [Cindy] We need to go find her.

- No, no.

No, we have to get the fuck outta here.

- [Cindy] We can't just leave her here!

- No, no, no.

(leaves rustling)

We don't know if she's still alive.

- [Cindy] She's just a kid.

(owl hooting)

- She knows this place. She lives around here.

She's probably back at her parents.

- [Cindy] We don't know that.

- Fuck.

- [Cindy] Pedro, we need to find her.

(Pedro crying)

- I need to get my key.

- What?

- We need to get my key.

- You don't have them on you?

- It's in my bedroom.

(Pedro gasps)

- [Cindy] So we go back to the cabin?

- Yes.

- If the girl is still alive,

she's probably gonna be back there.

- Along with everyone,

anyone who's trying to do this to us.

- [Pedro] Oh my God.

(Joss sniffles)

- Pedro?

I'm gonna need you and Cindy to go to my car.

It's unlocked. Okay?

And just stay there and wait for me.

I'm gonna get my key. Okay?

- Okay.

No, I can't. I'll go with you.

I'll go with you. - No, just, please,

please, please, please.

Just wait in the car.

(footsteps crunching)

- [Cindy] We can't leave Mia here!

Joss?

(Cindy sobbing)

- I'm gonna go get the key.

- [Cindy] Joss, Joss, Joss?

Joss,

(footsteps crunching)

you take this.

Keep it on so we know where you are, okay?

- Okay.

- [Cindy] Okay.

(camera shuffling) (Joss crying)

- You sick fucks.

You sadistic fucks, just watching each one of us fucking die

and watching Mia just get,

you fucking sick bastards.

How dare you fucking watch us get killed?

There's fucking millions of you sick fucking bastards.

(Joss breathing)

(footsteps rustling)

What the fuck?

(footsteps rustling)

Shit.

(footsteps rustling)

(Joss breathing)

(door thuds)

Shit.

(camera shuffling)

(footsteps tapping)

- [Anthony] Shit.

(Anthony and Lindsey shouting)

We have got to call the police.

- And say what?

That our daughter is a killer?

- They're gonna be here any second anyways.

And then what?

What are you gonna tell them? Huh?

- You're not gonna tell them anything.

- Right, but honey, listen to me.

It happened in our house. Okay?

It is all on camera. All record.

No, no, no. It was live streamed.

God damn it!

- Okay.

What if we leave?

- And go where? Hm?

Moscow? We're gonna get the first flight there?

And that's for asylum.

Listen, you wanna get outta this with me?

You better get your head straight. Okay?

- She's our daughter.

- Honey, you think I don't know that?

Listen, I love our little baby more than anything

in this world, but this?

This has gone way too far.

Oh!

We knew it.

We knew it.

We knew there was something wrong with our little baby.

We knew. We just knew.

The teachers, the doctors,

the psychiatrists, everybody,

the whole God damn world told us.

But we, we chose not to believe them,

that little shed up there?

That's on us.

There, it's on us.

- No, no. - Yes, it is.

Fuck. Think.

Think, think, think.

Honey? Honey, hey.

Do you wanna save our daughter?

- Well, of course. - Okay. Okay.

So we've gotta call the police

and tell them everything.

- But you don't understand. - No, no, hey.

Listen, listen to me.

That's our only shot to give her some actual help. Okay?

Either that or we should just start

killing every fucking person on our way,

because I'm God damn sure there's no other way.

- [Lisa] Dad?

- Sweetie.

- Do you hate me?

- No. No.

- I'm sorry.

Dad, I'm sorry.

It wasn't my fault.

He was trying to steal her.

Can't you see? He did this.

Thomas, he did this.

I couldn't lose her.

- Oh my God.

- Nobody understands me.

Nobody understands.

But she did.

And now she's, she's, she's,

because I,

(Lisa sobbing)

- It's okay, baby. It's okay.

(Lisa sobbing) Fix this we're gonna fix this.

(furniture creaking)

(camera shuffling)

(Lisa whimpering)

(furniture clattering) (Lindsey screaming)

(Joss and Anthony grunting)

Stop!

(Joss coughing)

Oh my God.

(Joss grunting) No. No.

Oh my God.

Anthony?

(Joss grunting)

No, stop.

Oh my God.

(Joss shouting)

Stop!

No!

(Joss wheezing)

Oh my God.

- Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Where are the fucking keys?

Yes! Yes.

(Joss wheezing)

(Anthony shouting)

(fist thudding)

Ow. Fuck.

(Anthony and Joss grunting)

(body thudding)

(Anthony and Joss grunting)

Stay down, kid.

(siren beeping)

Fuck.

(foot stomping) (Anthony shouting)

(Joss wheezing)

- Come on.

Come on.

(Lindsey shouting)

- [Mike] Drop it, Lindsey.

- Mike!

- Drop it.

- You gotta help us!

- Get on the fucking floor right now.

(Lindsey shouting)

- [Joss] Officer?

- Stay down.

I told you, if your pranks are gonna cause problems,

I'd throw your ass in jail.

Well, here we are.

Stay the fuck down and put your hands above your head.

- Mike?

You gotta listen to me. These kids, they attacked us.

They attacked us. Please.

- Where is he?

- Upstairs.

(Lindsey crying)

(radio beeping)

- This is Officer Hayes requesting backup

at the Chapman Cabin.

If one of these damn kids calls talking shit about a murder,

I want their full name written down

and call their parents.

Over.

- [Joss] She's lying.

- Shut up.

- [Joss] No, I have everything recorded.

- Put the phone down.

- [Joss] Everything is recorded. I'm not lying.

The little girl is a fucking psycho.

- All right, what did she do this time?

- Who are you gonna believe?

- Shut the fuck up for two seconds, Lindsey.

Just shut up.

Talk.

What happened? What did she do?

- She killed Mia and Thomas,

and she killed both of them.

- She killing pets again? Is that it?

- No, I didn't.

- [Joss] No, just go to the fucking bathroom.

- I didn't.

- I don't have time for this bull shit, man.

We've already spent over a half hour at the station

taking endless prank calls because of you assholes.

Now if this is part of your game, I ain't having it.

- [Joss] It's not a game.

Okay? It's not a fucking game.

Go check the fucking bathroom!

Please.

Go check the bathroom. (Lisa crying)

- Just calm down.

Just, three of you stay put.

Don't move.

(Lisa crying)

Jesus.

(Mike coughing)

We have a possible homicide at Chapman Cabin,

(Lindsey shouting)

(gunshots popping)

(Joss wheezing)

(footsteps pounding)

- Come on, we're getting the fuck outta here right now.

Come on.

- No shit, man. It was about time.

- Come on.

Oh fuck!

- Grab the wheel. Grab the wheel.

- [Cindy] Okay.

- [Anthony] You're not going anywhere, buddy.

- God damn it.

(Joss grunting)

(Anthony grunts)

Get to the car.

(gunshot blasting)

- [Cindy] No!

(Pedro groans)

- Honey?

(Cindy whimpering)

- You want to shoot?

Shoot me, you fucking bitch. Come on!

(Pedro groaning)

- That's it.

Honey? Put the gun down.

- You shoot him, you kill me?

- [Cindy] Pedro?

- Okay. All right.

Look, everybody, let's just stop with this nonsense. Okay?

Let's just think straight for a second here.

- That's your wife with the gun.

It's not me.

- [Cindy] Joss? Joss?

Pedro.

- Lindsey? Honey, listen to me.

Please. Just put the gun down please.

(Cindy crying) (insects buzzing)

- My little girl.

Sweet little girl.

There's no other way.

You said it yourself.

- Honey, listen.

No! (gunshot blasting)

(body thudding)

(insects buzzing)

- Go.

(engine revving)

- God damn it!

(Cindy crying)

(tires squealing) (Cindy screaming)

(blinker clicking)

(passenger groaning)

(owl hooting) (blinker clicking)

(footsteps crunching)

(blinker clicking)

(ethereal music)

♪ Strolling through the fit ♪

♪ It's a dissonant to the spare there ♪

♪ Empathy's a curious sea ♪

♪ But nobody seems to care ♪

♪ Behind the screen, the rebel and their might ♪

♪ Ignoring the tears ♪

♪ Basking to fight ♪

♪ 'Cause empathy a phase and close the screen ♪

♪ Less in the world where purity rings ♪

♪ Where every unfollow ♪

♪ Every block is shows tonight, shows tonight ♪

♪ As you sacrifice confession ♪

♪ For the sake of our lies, of our lives ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm running over ♪

♪ Running in circles ♪

♪ Where are we going ♪

♪ Find a certain ♪

♪ Running in circles ♪

♪ Never where to go ♪

♪ Running over ♪

♪ Running in circles ♪

♪ Never their going go ♪

♪ Finding certain ♪

♪ Running in circles ♪

♪ Wherever their going ♪

♪ Crawling through the fit ♪

♪ Where no one seems to care ♪

♪ Nobody else is there ♪

♪ Love of the face ♪

♪ In the cold of the screen ♪

♪ Lost in a world where growing to raise some ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm running over ♪

♪ Running in circles ♪

♪ Where we going ♪

♪ Find a certain ♪

♪ Running in circles ♪

♪ Never going to go ♪

♪ Running out ♪

♪ Running in circles ♪

♪ Never going to go ♪

♪ Find a certain ♪

♪ Running in circles ♪

♪ Never going to go ♪

♪ Running over ♪

♪ Running in circles ♪

♪ Never going to go ♪

♪ Running in certain ♪

♪ Running in circles ♪

♪ Never going to go ♪

(singer wailing)

♪ Running in circles ♪

♪ Never going to ♪

(singer wailing)

♪ Running in circles ♪

♪ Never going to go ♪