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HOST (on radio): Miss Harding and Mr. Kieran both have their hands up. The full title, please.

TESS, KIERAN (simultaneously): Nights in the Gardens of Spain.

- Hello, Sam. - Hiya, kid.

Hiya, Sammy. You missed most of the Information, Please.

HOST: There doesn't seem to be anyplace you haven't been.

TESS: I guess I have lived around a lot. With my father, that is.

Tess Harding. It's a treat for the intellect.

Rest your intellect a minute and give me a Scotch and water, will ya?

You guys on the Chronicle ought to form a cheering section for Miss Harding.

Why? Because we write on the same paper?

- Did you ever meet her, Sam? - Mm-mmm.

I understand she don't talk to anybody that hasn't signed a nonaggression pact.

HOST: Prescott lists four seaports which have had great strategic importance in this war ‒

Dakar, Narvik, Darnah and Singapore.

Were any of these ever under the American flag? Miss Harding.

TESS: Darnah, in 1803. The war with the Barbary Pirates.

HOST: Right. You know, most of us never heard of Darnah.

Can you figure a dame that knew what was going on in Libya in 1803?

Fadiman says she's the number-two dame in the country, right next to Mrs. Roosevelt.

So they're giving 'em numbers now, like public enemies.

(man on radio chuckles)

HOST: Well, Mrs. Prescott does not receive $25 and a set of the Britannica.

The next question comes from Mr. C.A. Copeland, of Glenport, Florida.

What is the most frequently run distance in American sports?

Hundred yards.

No, no, it's a mile, counting horses.

HOST: I think I'll try our guest expert first. Miss Harding.

Ninety feet, sister.

TESS (chuckles): I really don't know anything about American sports.

- (radio: Kieran chuckling) - HOST: Mr. Kieran.

- KIERAN: Ninety feet. - HOST: Would you care to explain?

KIERAN: It's the distance between home plate and first base.

HOST: Yes. Or between any of the bases. In the game of baseball, Miss Harding.

- TESS: Oh, I see. - Thousands of men and boys run it every day.

Really? Seems like a frightful waste of energy, doesn't it?

What?

KIERAN: Well, there's an awful lot of energy being wasted in the world these days.

- That's telling her, John. - TESS: I quite agree, Mr. Kieran.

There isn't anything more wasteful than a war.

All the more reason why, when one's going on, people ought to give it their full attention.

HOST: Well, what would you suggest, Miss Harding?

Should we abolish baseball for the duration of the emergency?

TESS: I think that's a very good idea.

- Uh, have I said something wrong? - HOST: Oh, I think ‒

- KIERAN: Just a minute! - (radio off)

Things they let 'em get away with on the radio.

- Maybe she was only kiddin' the boys. - She knew what she was saying every minute.

- You know what that kind of thinking leads to? - Take it easy, Sam. Don't blow your topper.

Say, look, we're concerned with a threat to what we like to call our American way of life.

Baseball and the things it represents is part of that way of life.

What's the sense of abolishing the thing you're trying to protect?

That's a beautiful thought, Sammy.

- Yeah, you ought to write a poem about it. - I'll do better than that.

MAN: "And she might remember what the Duke of Wellington said about sports.

The duke, as everyone knows, was the baby who whipped Napoleon at Waterloo

and made an ex-champ out of him.

And after it was all over, the duke let out that the battle was really won

on the playing fields of Eton."

What?

Well, that's about all, Miss Harding.

Except at the end he calls you...

"the Calamity Jane of the fast international set."

Hmm?

Yes, Miss Harding, I've got my pad right here.

Ready? Yes.

"Mr. Craig makes quite a point of citing Wellington's observation

concerning the Battle of Waterloo.

I assume that his purpose in this is simply to demonstrate

that at one time or another he was subjected to a grammar school course in history."

(laughs)

"Naturally, Mr. Craig does not realize that times have changed since Waterloo."

- What are you going to do about it? - What do you think?

Swing with both hands. We men have got only ourselves to blame.

It's our own fault. Women should be kept illiterate and clean, like canaries.

(bell dings)

(phone rings)

Hello. Yeah?

Oh, yes, Mr. Clayton.

Yes, sir. Yes, I'll be right up.

- He's waiting for you. - Thanks.

CLAYTON: Come in, Sam, come in.

Haven't you met Miss Harding?

- Yes, yes, in a belligerent sort of way. - He hit me first.

- Hello. - Hello.

Now, fellows, I realize as much as anybody

that controversy is a very stimulating thing.

Very.

And I always encourage it when someone on the paper gets into a good fight

over an important issue.

Always.

But not intramural fights. Never.

It's my job to think in terms of the paper as a whole,

and I'm dead sure that it just doesn't do any one of us any good

for one department to rap another.

So to come directly to the point,

I'd like to see you drop this business right away.

How about it, Sam? Are you ready to kiss and make up?

I'll kiss. I don't know about making up.

- How about you, Tess? Willing to quit? - Sure.

- Okay? - Fine. Thank you.

I'm always delighted to quit when I'm losing.

I'm glad to be able to reconcile you two. Very glad.

Cooperation is the essence of efficient organization.

CLAYTON: The essence.

Sorry.

Isn't the sports department downstairs?

Uh...

why, uh, yes, yes, I guess it is, but I ‒

Then aren't you going in the wrong direction?

Well, maybe I am.

I, uh ‒

A-Are you always much too busy?

What for?

I-I was wondering about this afternoon.

- Sorry. - Uh, tomorrow afternoon, maybe?

- What's on your mind? - I'd like to take you to a baseball game.

Okay.

Are all these people unemployed?

No. They're all attending their grandmother's funeral.

- Look. He's got Tess Harding with him. - Sit down. Where's your manners?

No women in the press box.

It's a rule as old as baseball. No women in the press box.

So what? She's a newspaperman, and she's pretty. Hiya, Sam.

Haven't seen it happen in 20 years. Worst scandal since the Black Sox.

- Phil, I want you to meet ‒ - Miss Harding. I know.

- How do you do? - Hello.

Chronicle.

You mean our paper sends two men to cover just this one game?

No. I cover the game. He just kicks it around in his column.

- (chuckles) - We've only got one man at Vichy.

Vichy? Are they still in the league?

- Who's pitching? - (crowd applauding, cheering)

- The hat. - (Tess chuckles)

Thank you.

Hey, buddy, tell her it ain't rainin'.

Fella ‒ Fella wanted me to tell you that it ain't rainin'.

(chuckles)

(chuckles) Who's playing today?

The Athletics and the Yanks.

The Athletics will bat first, you see.

And after they've made three outs, then the Yanks come to bat.

I see. And then they have to make the same number of outs.

That's right. That's right.

And each team has nine innings.

Yeah, but wouldn't it always come out even if they each made the same number of outs?

No. No, no, no. You see, uh ‒

You see, an out ‒ an out is ‒ Well, it's just an out.

Come on! Play ball!

UMPIRE: Play ball!

Okay.

Now, there's the first batter.

Now, of course, he's gonna try to hit the ball as far as he can

and get around as many bases as he can.

If he could get around all the bases and back to home plate,

why, that would mean a run for his team.

- You see? - Mm-hmm.

Of course, the pitcher's going to try to make him miss it.

- Which one is the pitcher? - The one pitching ‒

Uh, the fella in the middle.

- (crowd cheering) - One out.

No. No, one strike.

That's a strike. He gets two more of those before he's out.

- Why? - Well, because ‒ Are you kiddin'?

- (ball hits catcher's mitt) - (crowd cheering)

Well, how could that be a strike? He didn't even swing at it.

Well, he doesn't have to swing at it.

Uh, you see, it's a strike as long as he puts it over the plate.

You see, between the batter's shoulders and his knees, you know, it's a strike.

I see. If the batter were really smart, he'd stoop down and fool the pitcher.

I'll bet you this next one's a double up-curve in the side pocket.

Yeah, maybe he'll hit into a quadruple play.

- Do you think he will? - Wouldn't surprise me a bit.

(crowd cheering)

- Safe? He's out by a mile! - What's happening?

- Well, ordinarily ‒ - How much are they payin' you, you chiseler?

What do you do in the wintertime, burn down hospitals? You grave-robber!

- Ain't there no laws in this country? - Then in throwing it to first base ‒

- Shut up, will you? - What do you mean, shut up?

- The first baseman took his foot off... - You got a lot of nerve!

That guy was out a mile. Yeah, by six miles! And I'll beef all I like about it!

- You'd think I didn't buy a ticket! - He must keep his foot on the base.

- I did! You wanna see it? Here! - Now he's arguing with the umpire.

- Buck-65 of good American dough I paid! - (crowd) Sit down! Sit down!

He took his foot off the base, you see, and he's claiming that he didn't...

Got as much right here as anybody and more than most, 'cause I come here all the time.

Ask the usher. Ask the ticket office. First in line at the opening game.

If the shortstop had kept his ‒ If ‒ I mean, if the short ‒

(stammering)

Maybe I could draw you a diagram of it here a little.

(crowd cheering)

(cheering continues)

- Come on, Joe! - Come on, Joe!

Two on and two out. Boy!

- Have another peanut. - Thanks.

- A homer would win the game, wouldn't it? - Nothing less.

- What's the matter? - (laughs)

- You're wonderful. - Oh, of course. Didn't you know?

Well, I didn't know. I had you mixed up with ‒ What is your name again?

- Just call me Tessie. - Hi, Tessie. Call me Sammy.

(crowd cheering)

- MAN: Come on, Joe! - Come on!

Run!

Well, we win.

- No. No. - What's the matter?

He's out. That's the end of the inning.

- But, uh, then the score is tied? - Like a wet shoelace.

What a shame. Well, anyway, we almost won. Come on. Let's get out of here.

- Wait a minute. The game isn't over yet. - Isn't over? But you said nine innings.

At the end of nine innings if the score is tied, they play until somebody wins.

Oh. Uh, what time is it?

- 4:30. - 4:30? Boy, I better beat it.

I'm late already. I've got a rehearsal at NBC.

You stay and finish your job. I'll be fine.

- So long. - So long, pal.

- Wait a minute. I'll go with you. - Oh, please d ‒

Looks like the ball game isn't the only thing that's tied up around here.

(crowd continues cheering)

Sounds like a hit.

Two-bagger.

TESS: NBC and hurry, please.

9:00.

- ♪♪ (piano: classical) - (laughing, chattering)

I'm sorry, I-I must ‒ I thought ‒

- Looking for Miss Harding's. - Well, come right in.

- Is this Miss Harding's? - Yes.

Uh, may I have your hat?

- Oh, I d ‒ I don't ‒ - TESS: Sam!

- Sam, I'm so glad you came. - Thanks.

- Who won? - Who won what?

- The game. - Oh. The Yanks in the tenth.

How nice. Everyone in Philadelphia must be so happy.

You dropped your flowers.

Thanks.

- Flowers. - Sam, you're sweet.

- Shall we pass them around again now? - Come on.

A few people always come in after my broadcast.

Why do you broadcast? Why don't you just wait and tell them here?

(speaking French) Attention, please.

I'd like you to meet a new friend of mine, Sam Craig.

Mr. Craig is Chronicle, one of my colleagues at the

a sports reporter.

- (chattering) - Excuse me.

(man speaking Russian)

(Russian)

Da, da, da, da. (Russian)

Is he kidding with that "da-da-da" stuff?

You probably don't speak Russian, and they speak nothing else.

Now, let's see. I wonder who you'd get along with.

Uh, there's Madame Laruga sitting over there,

but you probably don't speak Slovenian either.

- No, just a little broken English. - (chuckles)

Hello!

Sam, will you excuse me? He doesn't know anyone here.

(chattering in several languages)

(man speaking German)

(man speaking Arabic)

(Arabic continues)

MAN: Say, how did Harry come out with that customs deal that he was working on?

MAN 2: He didn't come out at all. Even the consul couldn't do anything about it.

- You mean to tell me he stopped you? - Absolutely.

- But did you go the limit for Harry? - I went to the Mexican authorities and ‒

Dr. Livingstone, I presume?

- (speaking Spanish) Remember the girl? - From the steamship?

- Yes, sir. - I'll never forget her. Gorgeous.

- With blue eyes? - As blue as the sky.

What a gorgeous creature. I'll never forget her.

- She was a dancer? - A magnificent dancer.

Yes?

Yes, yes. Sit down, sit down.

I get kind of lost at these big parties. Don't you?

Yes.

Well, the situation is pretty warm over in your part of the world, isn't it?

Yes.

- Having fun? - Yes.

By the way, I'm afraid we haven't met. My name is Craig. What's yours?

Oh, yes.

(chuckles)

You don't speak English, do you, Charlie?

Mmm, yes.

What's more, you're a silly lookin' little jerk with that towel wrapped around your head.

- You know that, don't you? - Yes. (chuckles)

- That's all, brother. - Yes.

Mm-hmm. Yes.

- Yes? - Yes.

- (typing) - (chattering)

Hey, ask her if it's true about Rudolf Hess's toenails, will ya?

I don't think we'd better make a definite reservation for the return flight.

Just a moment, please.

Sorry. Either tomorrow night or Monday morning.

Thank you.

My name is Sam Craig. It's all right.

Will you kindly be seated?

(door opens)

(door closes)

(door opens)

It'll just be a moment.

This is Gerald Howe, Miss Harding's secretary speaking.

I'd like to make a call to Havana, Cuba.

Miss Harding calling the office of Señor Batista.

Colonel Fulgencio Batista.

Just ask for the president of the country.

Right.

You read Chinese?

Fluently.

- (intercom buzzes) - You may go in now.

- (phone rings) - Thanks.

Yes? Oh, hold on a moment, please.

GERALD (on intercom): Cuba on the wire.

(speaking Spanish) Listen, Mr. President.

I'll only ask you one thing.

You can answer with a yes or a no.

If an emergency pan-American conference is convened,

and if the United States wants it to be held in Havana,

will you support that?

Thank you.

Well, I don't know. Yes, Papa is in Washington.

- (Teletype typing) - And Ellen is also going.

I'll tell him. Good-bye.

- Nice party you had last night. - Yeah.

It was a nice baseball game.

- Thanks for the... thing. - Not at all.

Uh, I'd like to talk to you, Tess.

Shoot.

(chuckles)

No, no, it's, uh, nothing in particular, you know.

No, I-I just thought maybe the two of us could sit down somewhere and ‒

and kick the thing around a little.

I thought I might have a chance last night,

but when I walked into the League of Nations with my two sparrows under my arms ‒

They're love birds, Sam, and they're wonderful.

H-How did they get here?

How the dickens do you think they got here?

Why don't you go get your hat and we'll go over and get lost in New Jersey?

- I'd love to, Sam. - (Teletype typing)

But gosh darn it all,

I have to speak at a meeting up at Riverside Hall this afternoon.

Hey, why don't you pick me up after the meeting?

- All right. What time? - Uh, about 5:15.

- Meet me backstage? - All right, 5:15.

Wait a minute. I wonder if that'll give me time. I have to get the 6:00 plane.

- Plane? Wh ‒ - I'm going to Washington.

- To Washington? Yeah? - Yeah.

- You're sure it won't be inconvenient? - What do you mean, your going to Washington?

No, to pick me up and take me to the airport, silly.

- No, no, no. Where do I pick you up? - Riverside Hall.

- Yes. Hold on, please. - 5:15.

It's Vichy calling.

Get on the extension and take down every word. See you later.

- (phone rings) - Hello?

- (sighs) - (speaking Spanish) What?

Look, do you mind if I take this with me? I didn't finish the crossword puzzle.

(imitates speaking Chinese)

Where's Miss Harding, please? I'm late.

TESS: Too many feel about women's rights the way a girl I know does about her fur coat.

All her life she dreamt about having one.

Finally she got it, after a pretty tough struggle.

- I suppose there's a sort of contentment. - (audience laughing)

And I wouldn't quarrel with her about it.

(laughing continues)

Sit down, Sam.

- There's a chair. - (laughing continues)

I do, however, take issue violently

when women try to apply that same reasoning

- to the rights we f ‒ fi ‒ - (laughing continues)

finally won 22 years ago.

(audience quiets)

At this very moment, we're facing the first major test

of our fitness to shoulder this responsibility.

Ellen Whitcomb has ‒

has pointed out to you this afternoon

the deep obligation we have to take a vital part in the crisis confronting our country.

It is our simple duty not only to accept what she has said,

but to translate her words into terms of positive action.

Ellen Whitcomb represents, as no other individual,

the development of the rights women fought for

and the responsibilities we must now assume.

In her words,

"What we fought for was not only the privilege of equal rights

and a just share in the determination of state policy,

but also the grave responsibility which accompanies that privilege.

Today the women of the world are faced with the first major test of their fitness

to meet that responsibility.

Our place is no longer only in the home.

It is also in the first line of battle."

There is so little that I can add to her words.

There is so little anyone can add.

Possibly I'm prejudiced because she's my aunt.

I don't think so.

Her life and her work speak eloquently enough.

Twenty years ago

she was the youngest leader

in the feminist movement.

Today she's a tremendous force

in the battle to preserve and extend democracy.

Let us draw from her the inspiration to use the freedom we have won

to defend the freedom of all.

(applause)

Well...

Miss Harding.

- (clears throat) - You'd better park the car.

And meet us at gate two.

It made me feel very strange, having Tess call me "aunt."

I've come to regard myself so completely as her mother.

You see, my sister died when Tess was a little baby.

- Tess was once a baby? - To begin with.

She and her father were in China at the time.

I went out to take care of her. And him.

- Interesting place, China. - Yes.

Especially if you're a maiden aunt trying to teach a Chinese nurse

things you don't know anything about yourself.

Which reminds me, the Chiang Kai-sheks are having an anniversary soon.

I must tell Gerald. Pardon me.

- Hope we haven't ruined your day. - Oh, no, not at all, not at all.

After all, it kept me off the streets and out of the pool rooms.

- What's the matter, Sam? - Nothing.

- Sure? - Well, I-I-I don't know.

I can't quite figure you out.

- What are you trying to prove? Why am I here? - Well, Sam, I ‒

After all, little Nurmo could have driven you down here. Why did you ask me?

Thought you might want to kiss me good-bye.

They're holding the plane for us.

Good-bye, Gerald.

Uh, see you Monday?

- What time? - Uh, send you a wire?

Yeah, but you do it. Don't have the little corporal do it.

Darling, good-bye.

Could I drop you somewhere, Miss Whitcomb?

You can drop the Miss Whitcomb. It always sounds like a reproach.

Bet it has been too, to a lot of fellows who didn't know better.

Well, just for the record, Sam, it wasn't that exciting.

There was only one who should've and didn't.

The others did and shouldn't have.

- Going by my hotel? - Right by it. Which one is it?

I warn you, you're in for it. I'll talk your ears off.

Oh, a little won't hurt.

What point are you trying to make, Sam?

I don't know. Maybe there isn't any point.

- You like your work, don't you? - Mm-hmm. More all the time.

And I don't know why either, unless it's maybe because I like people.

I like meeting them and writing about them.

They're pretty unimportant people though. I guess that makes me an unimportant guy.

That makes you a very important guy, Sam.

Oh, not because you rate a byline, but because you have a heart,

a job you like to do and a future.

You're just a normal human being, Sam.

Go on leading your normal, human life.

That sounds fine. How do you go about arranging it?

You mean, how do you go about arranging it?

Yeah.

(airplane passing overhead)

Well, I'd say marry the girl.

All right, I will.

He comes out in the first round and starts peppering me with light lefts.

I'm taking it, see.

I'm waiting for an openin' with me right cocked, but it don't come.

First round, pepper. Second round, p ‒

- Hello, Sammy. - Hiya, Pinkie. Is the back booth empty?

Well, if it ain't, I'll empty it.

PINKIE: Oh, two Scotches on the house.

(both chuckle)

SAM: You'll like this place.

Uh, Tess Harding, Pinkie Peters.

He's telling me who you are.

You write for Sammy's paper. I read your column all the time.

- I don't understand it, but I read it. - (Sam chuckles)

- Uh, is that from the right bottle? - The best we have, sir.

All right, don't give them none of that cockamamy bar stock, you hear?

No. No, sir.

Well... what can I do for you?

You can skip your story of your fight with Braddock.

Sure.

Uh, the Carnera fight, maybe?

No. Uh, uh, another Scotch, maybe.

Good idea.

Make mine a double.

Me too.

Sure.

Well, we're alone. Talk.

You do have something to talk about?

Yeah, yeah. You.

You.

I'd like to know what you like and what you don't like,

and how you feel about being you.

I feel very good about it. Always have.

I, uh, like knowing

more about what goes on than most people.

- And telling 'em. - Yeah, and telling them.

(ice clinking in glass)

Thanks, Joe.

Lot of drink in these.

Oh, I don't know.

Well, I just mean if you're not used to 'em, you know, they...

(laughs) Oh, don't worry about me.

As a diplomat's daughter, I've had to match drinks with a lot of people,

from, uh, remittance men to international spies.

And I may say I've never wound up under the table.

Reminds me of my year at college. We used to bet on drinking.

Make a contest out of it.

- Kid stuff. - (chuckles)

Imagine.

Silly.

Lots of people make the, um ‒ the error of, uh,

grouping, uh, Pareto and Spengler together,

uh, because they both feel that democracy is through,

where ‒ whereas, actually,

Spengler is the philosophical basis

for fascism.

Or, um...

No, he's not.

Pareto is.

While Spengler...

Well, actually, they both are.

(stammering) That is, um, at least, basically.

Well, i-it's about the same thing.

Were you ‒ Were you there at the end? In Madrid, I mean?

Um, after ‒

after I came back, I-I wrote a series of articles

which finally blossomed into a regular column,

and I've lived happily ever after.

Did you live happily ever before?

H-How do you mean?

Well, I want to know the story, you know, behind the story.

The ‒ (clears throat) girl without a country and how she grew up.

She grew up by remote control.

I've read Uncle Tom in the Argentine and...

- In the Argentine. - Mm-hmm. Argentine.

And I read Huckleberry Finn going down the Yangtze.

Did it seem like the Mississippi?

I'd never seen the Mississippi.

(chuckles)

And so then I grew older

and I, um ‒ I went to school in Switzerland

and in Leipzig, and the Sorbonne,

and then I became quite busy and my father decided to come home,

so I decided to come home with him.

- That isn't when you came home. - Hmm?

That isn't when you came home. I was there the day you came home. It was in the ball park.

- That was fun. - Yeah.

Fun being with the people, instead of just telling 'em, wasn't it?

I had kind of an idea that it had something to do with being with you.

With me? Really? Why?

- Look, Sam. - I'm looking.

- What do you see? - Right now?

Right now.

Little gal I ran into at the ball park,

name of Tessie.

I know you by the freckles on your nose.

You're the first person that's mentioned those since I was 12.

- You mind? - Uh-uh.

Trouble is, you can't see 'em most of the time.

Maybe you bring them out.

Look, Tess.

I'm looking, Sam.

Um...

maybe you better take me home, hmm?

Do you feel that you'd like some air?

Mmm.

(both laugh)

PINKIE: Now we're comin' up for the 14th round, see,

and I come out bobbin' and weavin'.

I'm as fresh as a daisy. I'm givin' it to him with lefts and a hard right.

This is good.

This is better.

- Tess. - Hmm?

Something I've got to get off my chest.

- I'm too heavy. - No.

Then what?

I love you.

- You do? - Positive.

That's nice.

Even when I'm sober?

Even when you're brilliant.

(brakes squeak)

This is it.

SAM: You're telling me.

Say, would you like me to wait?

Oh, why don't you let him go? You can get another cab.

Just drop your hat anywhere.

Joint doesn't look half bad when it's empty.

Know what?

No. What?

How about a nice, cold glass of milk?

(chuckles) I think it might be a good idea.

Back in a flash.

Like it?

Beautiful. It's a little too high to reach.

I'm not.

Sit down, Sam?

(clears throat) I-I won't be staying very long.

I feel so nice and relaxed. Don't you?

- No. - (Tess laughs)

Sam, you're just a bundle of nerves.

I-I think it's getting kinda late now.

No, it isn't.

All right, it isn't.

I think I'd better get the milk.

♪♪ (whistling)

♪♪ (whistling continues)

♪♪ (whistling)

Lilly Daché?

Why, Sam!

(laughs)

Just an old snood I had reblocked.

- Miss Harding is in the wire room. - Wire room?

Dr. Lubbeck's escaped from a concentration camp, and nobody knows where he is.

Who's he?

Mladen Lubbeck, the Yugoslavian statesman.

Miss Harding knew him well, and she's worried about whether he got away.

Oh. Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

(Teletype typing)

Found him yet?

UP has located him in Moscow and AP in Lisbon, both at the same ‒

(Teletype stops)

Hello.

Did anyone ever tell you that your manners left much to be desired?

- (Teletype resumes typing) - Look, Tess.

- (Teletype stops) - There's one thing I want you to understand.

You're practically the only woman in the world I would have walked out on last night.

That's about the prettiest compliment I've ever had.

Tess, don't you understand what I mean?

I want to marry you.

Anything happening?

- Plenty. - Great!

- Sure you want me? - Yeah.

How about you?

Always swore I wouldn't.

The frightening idea of getting tied down.

Guess there's one thing I didn't figure on.

What?

You, Sam.

Yes, Ma.

Oh, but, Mom, she is good enough for me.

Yeah, w-well, now look, Mom, I-I-I'll write you all about it tomorrow.

This long-distance will cost me a week's salary.

What?

Oh, well, Mom, you don't ask girls a thing like that.

You ‒

I ‒ I didn't say it wasn't important. I just said ‒ Mom...

(stammers) Yes, a-all right.

A-All right, Mom, all right.

I-I'll find out if she's a good cook. Yes.

Yeah, I'll wire you as soon as the date's set.

All right, dear. Good-bye.

When do you think we ‒

- Mackinock. - Mackinock!

Mackinock.

Mackinock, South Carolina's about the most convenient place.

No waiting period and very handy for your father too, if he's going to be in Warm Springs.

Trouble is, we have to arrange this thing to suit the plans of three different people.

- Three? - Pop, Aunt Ellen and myself.

She's going to be in Minneapolis Thursday. We'd better make it tomorrow.

Will that be all right for you, Gerald?

- I can't make it. I'll be busy. - Oh.

5:00 seems to be the best time all around.

Allow half an hour for the business down there,

and you can still fly back in time to meet Dr. Lubbeck, in case he is on the clipper.

We'll set it for then. Send the wires, Gerald.

Will that suit you, darling?

Well ‒ Well, uh, do we have to do it so quick?

Don't you want to?

Yes, yes, but I mean the whole thing seems so important for such rush.

I don't know. I always kinda looked forward to the day when I was gonna get married.

You know, I thought I'd do it up right like most people do.

(laughs) I even thought I might go for the striped pants.

You know, just for the wedding, I mean.

I-I just don't think you can do the thing right in such a hurry.

We'll do it right.

(children laughing)

(sirens wailing)

TESS: Here he is.

Pop!

- You're beautiful. - (Tess chuckles)

How dare you be late to your daughter's wedding?

I'm sorry, darling, but I just couldn't walk out on the president.

Since when has the president been more important than I am?

- Since 1789. - Pardon me, Mr. Harding.

- We only have ten minutes. - Twelve.

Hello, Ellen.

- Where's the sacrificial lamb? - There he is. Sam, Pop.

Will you be needing me on the way back, Mr. Harding?

- Yes, I think you'd better wait. - Yes, sir.

- Sam. - Pop.

I might as well confess, I've been worried about you since yesterday.

I've been worried about you for years.

- He'll do. - I think we can both stop worrying.

Therefore, by authority of the powers invested in me by the State of South Carolina,

I pronounce you man and wife.

Uh, you may kiss the bride.

Yes, I know.

May I, Mrs. Craig?

Sam.

Hey.

Darling.

- Well, Pop, I guess you're stuck with me. - It's a pleasure, Sam.

- I've poured some wine for a toast. - (all exclaiming)

Miss Harding ‒ Uh, I mean Mrs. Craig.

That call you put through to New York's a-waitin'.

- I didn't want to interrupt. - Oh, that must be Gerald. Excuse me.

- I thought a toast to the bride and ‒ - Why, certainly.

- I'm afraid we'll have to hurry. - Mmm. Those ten minutes just rushed by.

What about a lift? I promised Eleanor I'd drop in.

- Certainly, if you're able to go right away. - I am.

I'm sorry to have to rush off like this, Sam.

ELLEN: Newlyweds should be left alone anyway. I read that somewhere.

- Now look here ‒ - Good-bye, darling.

Just a minute, Gerald.

Good-bye. You were sweet to come.

- Good-bye ‒ Oh. - I'm not going. I'm staying.

- Now look, Gerald. - (engine starts)

We ought to be able to get out of here in about half an hour.

- (sirens wailing) - Oh, I don't know.

I suppose around 10:00 or 11:00.

No. Well ‒ No, you better have a car meet us.

Then we'll go straight to the apartment. No, no, I want them tonight.

Because if any word did come through, I'd ‒ Yeah. Well, I'm afraid it's hopeless.

Good heavens, Miss Harding. You been in an accident?

Shame on you, Alma. What a way to talk about marriage.

- Were there any important calls? - Oh, yes, Miss Harding.

- No, no, we're married now, Alma. - Oh. Mrs. Harding.

- No. Mrs. Craig. - Ja?

Uh, I put all the messages on your desk, miss.

Thank you. Bring in the things, will you, Alma?

- I'll get 'em. - (Teletype typing)

Oh, Mr. Craig, if there's any little thing that I can do ‒

Uh, thank you, Alma. I won't be much bother.

Yeah, I know. Miss Harding said you won't.

- He didn't make it. - Who?

Dr. Lubbeck. I thought he might have, uh, caught the clipper in Lisbon.

But, uh, his name's not on the passenger list.

- Good. - Sam.

(chuckles) Well, just tonight I can't seem to work up any enthusiasm

because somebody missed a clipper.

I'm sorry, darling. It's just force of habit.

Do you suppose I could interest you in some new habits?

- Mmm. - (both laughing)

(Tess sighs)

Alma, you must learn to be more considerate.

Yes, miss ‒ uh, ma'am.

- Uh, these bags, uh ‒ - Mm-hmm.

You can just leave them.

Well, I gather this is going to be my boudoir tonight.

Uh, wh-where are we going to live?

- Why don't we try to find a place by the river? - By the river?

Y-You mean move?

- Well, Sam, I thought that, for just a while ‒ - You thought what?

Now look, Tess, you can't expect me to move into your apartment.

- But, darling, I have a lease. - Oh!

And everything here is so established.

Everyone knows my address and telephone number.

Can't you see what a mess I'd be in if I moved suddenly?

Yeah, yeah, but I'll feel like a weekend guest.

No, you won't.

(Teletype typing)

(Teletype stops)

(doorknob jiggling)

Uh, please don't mess around with anything on the desk, Mr. Craig.

I'm not gonna mess around with anything on the desk.

She don't like nobody misplacing anything.

I'm not going to misplace anything, Alma.

(doorbell buzzing)

(whispering) Alma.

Dr. Lubbeck!

Come in. Come in.

ALMA: Ja.

They stand between me and the Gestapo.

I must see Miss Harding. Where is she?

No, you don't, Alma. No, you don't.

Oh, uh, she's, um...

going to bed.

Couldn't you wait until tomorrow, maybe?

Not even a minute.

Ja, well, uh...

Come on then.

(knocking on door)

Okay.

Holy jumping Jehoshaphat!

- Dr. Lubbeck! - Tess!

- He couldn't wait. - TESS (speaking German): How do they get here?

Tess.

(speaking German) I need to talk to you before I meet anyone else.

I just got here. Here is the thing.

(speaking German) Speak.

You know what happened. I just flew in from ‒

- Hey! - (gasps)

Sam, Dr. Lubbeck.

Dr. Lubbeck,

this is my husband, Sam...

SAM: Craig.

(speaks German)

(chuckles) He made it.

He has a great sense of timing.

(speaking German) Wonderful.

Wonderful!

Oh, I am so happy. This is wonderful.

I didn't expect it.

Congratulations.

Yes, but we need to discuss the situation.

Please come join with us.

- I don't like to intrude. - No, no, not at all.

No!

Dr. Lubbeck came to see me before anyone else.

A most wonderful break. The first real inside dope on the Balkan smash-up.

TESS (speaking German): We've heard of a group affiliated with the Nazis.

Yes. There were traitors. Nazis in high positions.

He's telling about the Nazi infiltration.

- Isn't this the most thrilling night of your life? - I'm all goose pimples.

- (knocking) - (chattering in foreign language)

- (Dr. Lubbeck mutters in German) - (chattering continues)

That's the Yugoslavian consul. Dr. Lubbeck called him.

(all chattering in German)

(speaking German) My lovely friend Miss Harding.

- Nice to meet you. - Her husband.

- Herr Harding. - (chattering in German)

- (speaking German) - (chattering continues)

Hello. Hello, Pinkie?

Sam.

Hiya, Pinkie.

Well, we're havin' a little party. What are you doin'?

Well, why don't you come up here and join us?

Sure, sure.

851 5th Avenue, apartment A.

Yeah, write that down so you won't forget it.

Oh, sure, sure. Bring Flo along.

Bring some of the gang, Pinkie.

- MAN: Looks pretty ritzy to me. - WOMAN: Boy, some joint.

Oh, no, you don't.

- PINKIE: Oh, yes, I do! - (scuffling)

Ah!

Oh, Pinkie!

Oh, Pinkie!

- I'm so glad to see you, Pinkie. Hello, Flo. - Hiya, Sammy.

I want you to meet a very distinguished gentleman who has just come from Europe.

Dr. Lubbeck, Pinkie Peters.

Well, hiya, Doc.

Everybody, meet Dr. Lubbeck and his friends.

Just over from Europe, huh?

Pinkie, Dr. Lubbeck's a great fight fan.

I wanted to tell him the story of your fight with Braddock.

- But I don't do it so well. Why don't you ‒ - No kiddin'!

Well, sure, I'll be glad to give it to him.

Hey, uh, Punchy. You. Come on over here.

You be Braddock.

Hey, take care of this, will you, bud?

Don't let him, Doc. He'll drive you nuts with that yarn.

Shut up, will ya, honey.

All right, take a stanch.

Now, this guy Braddock, a very smart, cagey boxer,

comes out in the first round and starts pepperin' me with light lefts.

All right, go ahead. Pepper.

I'm takin' 'em, see? I'm waitin' for an openin' with me right cocked.

First round, pepper. Second round, pepper. Third round, pepper.

I catch him in the corner, feint with my left.

His guard comes down and, boff, I ‒

What are you tryin' to do, crab up my story?

Get up, you dope. You know Braddock didn't go down till the seventh.

Boff! I hit him again!

PINKIE: All right, get up, get up, get up.

He's groggy. He's hangin' on the ropes.

I wind up a terrific right and, boff, boff, boff!

He hits me three in a row.

- You get rid of yours, I'll get rid of mine. - All right. How?

- (Pinkie continues, faint) - Well, what about, uh ‒

See, Sammy? I told you not to start him off. He's like a hophead with that yarn of his.

Hello.

PINKIE: He hits me three in a row. But I'm still on my feet, see?

I get in close and hang on.

Uh, say, Sammy, whose dump is this, anyway?

I mean, I don't want to get personal or anything, but I don't get it.

Well, this is our dump. You see, Tess is my wife.

What do ya know! That's wonderful!

(laughs, kisses)

Oh, don't take it wrong, Mrs. Craig. I'm just so excited. When did you do it?

- Today. - Who'd have thought that you two ‒

PINKIE: I'm givin' it to him, lefts and rights.

What's the matter with you two? Don't you want to be alone?

- I'm dancing around the ring... - Oh.

- Just leave it to little Flo. - and I duck.

- What's the matter with you? - We gotta beat it.

- I ain't knocked him out yet. - All right, so you'll knock him out later.

Come on, everybody. We're all goin' over to Pinkie's place.

- What is this? - Quiet, or I'll let you have it.

- Well, all right, honey. I ‒ - All right then.

- FLO: Come on, Grandpa. - Come on, Doc. We'll go over to my place.

- MAN: What's the matter? - MAN 2: I don't know.

Oh!

- PINKIE: What's goin' on here? - (chattering in German)

(chattering continues)

PINKIE: Good-bye.

- FLO: Come on, fellas, get goin'. - Gute nacht.

Good noggin.

Good noggin', Flo.

(door closes)

(crowd cheering)

(whistle blows)

(cheering continues)

- Looks like Krakowitz again. - No, number 17's Donato.

ANNOUNCER: The ball was carried by Donato. Tackled by Loomis and Fry.

- First down on the 34-yard line. - They're crazy.

I could tell it was Donato by the way he raised his knee.

Here's the shift to the right.

Sweep out around the end. Murphy, number two, carrying the ball.

He turns back on a cutback play, trying to find a hole, but loses his footing.

- Fifteen seconds. - They got time for a pass.

They haven't caught two passes the whole second half.

- They're not calling time out. - Too late to do 'em any good.

Here's the shift. Box formation over to the right.

A reverse and spinner behind the line of scrimmage.

This may be the play that does it. He's coming out to the sidelines.

- But he's knocked out of bounds and down. - (gunshot)

There's the gun for the end of the ballgame.

♪♪ (band: up-tempo)

There you are, pal. Words that'll live forever.

- They should. They're cold enough. - Come on, Sam.

- We'll grab a cab for the Blackstone. - No, let's walk.

That way we'll miss the speeches and get there for the liquor.

And those steaks. Remember last year, Sam?

I'll have to let the memory do. I'm catchin' a train for home in 25 minutes.

Are you nuts, Sam? This is Saturday night, even in Chicago.

Yeah, and a day on the train is a day on the train, especially on Sunday.

You've really got it bad, Sam. Now, I'm a family man. I love my wife and kids.

- But free steaks and beer. - Yeah, it always happens that way.

The first couple of months a guy's married,

he acts as though he thought it was gonna be the last.

TESS: Yesterday's parley must be acclaimed a ‒

"Hewwo," Daddy.

Even in a period replete with developments of climactic significance,

yesterday's parley must be regarded as a major landmark.

I'll be with you in two minutes. I just have one paragraph to finish.

- Uh, "As a major landmark." - Yeah.

- Tariffs have always been the historic, uh ‒ - Fly in the ointment.

Fly in the ointment of American foreign policy.

- Is what-do-you-call-'em around? I'm hungry. - I gave her the weekend off.

In ordinary times, internal conflicts

between domestic financial interests are unfortunate.

In a national crisis, they may be fatal.

Now that the problem of beef ‒

Now that the problem of beef has been settled,

we can only hope for a quick solution to all the other beefs which thwart our national unity.

(Sam chuckles) Time used the same gag last week.

- (chuckling) You're cute. - Ow!

So we can look forward with greater confidence

to the grim ‒ Ow.

Greater confidence to the grim months ahead.

I think that's all, uh, Gerald.

Look.

Notice anything different?

Sure. You've got your hat on.

- It's a new hat. - Oh. I like it.

Kinda hoping you'd notice it. I've needed one for quite some time.

I said I like it. I think it's a fine hat. I'm glad you bought it.

Be with you in two minutes.

Sorry you don't like it.

I said I like it.

Pardon me, Mr. Craig. Miss Harding says if you're making eggs, she'd like some.

All right.

She said I should tell you if I was hungry too.

I am.

(Tess talking, faint)

TESS: Because it's ‒ it's a pretty good...

(phone rings)

(ringing continues)

(ringing continues)

Hello. Yes.

Señor Armanto? Just a minute. Tess, Señor Armanto.

Oh, I don't want to speak to him now. He's a pest.

She doesn't want to speak to you now. You're a pest.

Well, I think that's all, Gerald.

All right, Miss Harding. Thank you. Good-bye.

- Bye. - Good-bye, Mr. Craig.

Yeah.

Well?

Tell me about the game.

- Did you read my story? - I'm going to.

But I was in such a rush. I can tell you had fun though.

It's wonderful your work keeps you outdoors so much.

Well, why don't you tell me all about it? Who won?

- It was a tie ‒ 13 to 13. - Hmm.

Didn't they have to play an extra inning, or whatever it is?

No. Football, the game ends where it ends no matter what the score is.

The big thing yesterday was the new shift that Notre Dame used.

- Was it really? - Yeah.

The line spreads out all over the place. Any one of the backs might take it.

Mm-hmm.

You figure it's going to be a pass, you see, but the twist ‒

Gosh, must have been exciting. What else?

Tsk. What else would you like to know?

Well, what did you do after the game?

I drove to the railroad station. That's where I bought my new hat.

There's a hat store in the railroad station. It's the best one in Chicago.

- Chicago? - Hmm.

Of course. I had a feeling at the time. That's really funny.

- What's funny? - I was in Chicago yesterday.

You were in Chica ‒ What are you ‒ I don't get it.

A conference. The government called a meeting of all the meat packers, and I flew out.

- What time did you get there? - About 1:00.

- How long were you there? - Oh, I left about quarter of 6:00.

Well, I got through about 5:30. We could have come home together.

It just never occurred to me. There was so much going on.

Why didn't it occur to you? It would have occurred to me.

I don't know why you're making such an issue out of it.

- How could I have gotten hold of you? - Call the press box at Soldier Field.

I couldn't possibly have known that, so you see, your whole point's about nothing.

Well, the point isn't whether we could have got together or not.

The point is that you never even thought of it.

- How do you know I didn't? - You just said you didn't!

Well, all right.

Yesterday I wasn't anxious enough to be with you,

so we're even.

How do you figure that out?

Because today you aren't anxious enough to be with me.

If you were, you wouldn't waste all this time arguing.

Hmm?

Mmm. (chuckling)

(crowd chattering)

(cheering)

- (whistle blows) - (grunts)

- Going to put Red in? - Oh, this is marvelous.

(whistle blows)

Ah, this is great, being on the inside like this, right on the players' bench.

- You must have influence, Sam. - (laughing)

Hey, do you suppose I could work this sometime when you're not around?

Where was it I picked you up this morning? Secretary of state's office, wasn't it?

- Sure. Why? - I'm a man with influence.

- Oh! - (both laughing)

- Where'd you play? - Tackle.

- No, I mean, what college you go to? - I went to lots of colleges.

Oh.

Have a chew?

Thanks.

The best I could find.

- The picture and the son-in-law. - Thanks.

I'm going to give you a treat.

Hmm. Is that the stuff they carry around in those political portfolios?

(chuckles) It'll dissolve an aspirin tablet as quick as anything.

(Sam chuckles)

Thanks.

Mmm.

You know when I first realized that you were the right man for my daughter?

- No. When? - When I heard you'd asked her.

It's been my feeling that whoever had the courage to propose to Tess

deserved to be her husband.

A privilege, I hasten to add, which I don't underestimate in the slightest.

It's quite a privilege.

You're also the man who's responsible for making me feel my age lately.

Why?

Well, nothing makes you feel your years so keenly as the sense of being alone.

Well, there's no reason why you can't see Tess.

Oh, it's not that.

There have been times when she was thousands of miles away,

but I still had the feeling, wherever she was, she was my girl.

Now she's your girl.

That makes me admire your spectacular courage more than ever.

You know, Sam, I once knew a woman

who was an even more difficult case than Tess,

if such a thing is possible.

- Ellen? - Hmm?

Oh, that was an easy guess.

- What happened? - Nothing happened. That's the point.

I don't know. Just never seemed to be quite the right moment.

(chuckles)

Fifteen years of wrong moments.

Fifteen years of having what I've got instead of what you've got.

The difference one courageous moment can make.

Oh, I can't see that what you've got is so little.

Well, let's look at the evidence.

I come back to this,

unless I can think of an excuse not to.

But you go home to someone, someone to talk to, to live with,

to share each other's work and ideas.

Yeah.

Unless you've missed out on it, you're apt to underestimate

how important it can be ‒

that other person existing who cares as much about your interests as you do.

Yeah. It doesn't always work out so perfectly.

(laughs)

Sam, it's a lucky thing you're not a salesman.

You'd starve to death.

Here's to the continued happiness of both of you, Sam.

To the continued happiness of both of us.

What's the matter, somebody sick?

Sam, really, just because a wife waits up for her husband.

Darling, you must be dead tired. Hop into bed.

- I'll fix you something warm to drink. - I'm not thirsty.

Help you sleep better.

(groaning)

Good morning.

(sighs) I-I-I think I overslept.

Alma forgot to wake me.

You don't have to be there till afternoon. I checked with your office.

Don't get up. It's silly to get up if you don't have to.

Tess, what's all this about?

Breakfast.

All right, let's have it.

Well, um...

(chuckles) As a matter of fact,

there is something I'd like to talk to you about.

I figured that. What is it?

- Darling. - What?

Um, are you perfectly satisfied about us?

What do you call being satisfied?

I mean, do you think that maybe there's a reason

for the friction we've been having lately?

Could be.

Do you think perhaps it's because

there are only two of us?

What?

What would you think about having a child?

- Tess! - (plates clatter)

Tess, is that what this buildup has been ‒

Did ‒ Did you think I'd have to be sold on the idea?

I wasn't quite sure. I thought perhaps I'd better get you into the right frame of mind.

Get me ‒ me into the right frame of ‒ Me?

- The sooner, the better! - It's already been done.

It's already been done?

Well ‒ Well, uh ‒

- You gotta lie down. - I'm ‒ I'm all right, Sam.

But, Tess, you've gotta be careful. You ‒ You ‒

I'll ‒ I'll have Ma come east for this.

You know, you gotta ‒ She'll walk from Wisconsin for a thing like this.

- What did the doctor say? - I haven't seen the doctor, Sam.

You've got to see the doctor. You gotta stay off your feet, you know.

And ‒ And ‒ Tess, I hope it's a boy. Oh, you sweet ‒

It is a boy.

It is a boy? Well ‒ Well, how ‒ who ‒

(speaking Greek) I want a coffee.

He ‒ He's a refugee.

A little Greek refugee.

He's ours.

You see, two weeks ago,

they made me chairman of the Greek Refugee Committee,

and I accepted without thinking much about it.

And then while you were away, they had a meeting,

and some idiot suggested that I should take the first one, so I did.

Him. He doesn't like me.

(speaking Greek) No, Chris. He does like you.

He thinks you don't like him.

- What's his name? - Chris.

And, Sam, he's been to two baseball games while he's been in New York,

and he simply loves it, so you'll have lots to talk about...

when he learns to speak a little English.

Hi, Chris.

Uh, do you suppose you could take him out with Alma for a minute?

- I'd like to talk to you. - He won't understand a word you're saying.

Well, he-he seems to be pretty good at sensing attitudes,

and I wouldn't want him to think that mine was anything personal

as far as he's concerned.

All right.

Why don't you go to the other room and see if Alma has your food ready?

- Tess, we can't keep that kid. - But, Sam, you said you wanted a child.

I thought you were talking about a child of our own.

Darling, you know how impractical that is. How could I possibly have a baby?

- How could you have a baby? - I'm not saying we never will.

Anything might happen. And anyway, I don't see what that has to do with Chris.

- This is a humanitarian idea. - It has everything to do with Chris.

If we had a kid of our own, it might be different.

He might be a swell addition to the family. But as a substitution, he won't do.

Besides, we haven't got the kind of a home he'd be happy in.

Sam, you simply cannot send that child back.

I'd look perfectly idiotic. And besides, it isn't a question of pride.

- I want to help. - I know. I know.

Your heart is in it. Your heart is in everything you do.

Now, if you could just spare about ten percent of that heart from the world at large

- and apply it here at home ‒ - (phone rings)

Hello.

It's Gerald. He says there's something very important on the Teletype

six or seven items back.

All right.

Yes, I told her.

Yes, I told her it was important.

(Teletype typing)

(typing stops)

Sam, look.

TESS: Operator, I want to speak to Miss Ellen Whitcomb

at New Milford, Connecticut.

This is Miss Harding at Atwater-90599.

Yes. Will you call me, please? Thanks.

- (phone ringing) - Hello.

Pop! I was just going to call you.

Well, I don't know. It's so unexpected. I ‒

Yes.

They're going to present a plaque at a banquet a week from tomorrow night.

You will? Oh, that's wonderful.

Yes, I'm sure she will.

Well, I haven't spoken to her yet. I have a call in now.

I can't wait to tell her. Thanks, darling.

All right. See you then. Good-bye.

Would you have voted for me, Sam?

(phone rings)

Hello?

Ellen. Tess.

Ellen, the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me has just happened.

Darling. (chuckles)

Do I look like the outstanding husband of the outstanding woman of the year?

You look fine.

I guess I got time to go say hello to Chris, huh?

Mm-hmm.

I've never been to a woman's banquet before.

Is the food any better than at a man's banquet?

Chicken instead of steak, but we get a prize for going to this one.

They won't ask me to make a speech, will they?

I don't see why.

Hello, Chris.

(in Greek) Good morning. (in English) Hello.

Attaboy, Chris. Why, you'll be spoutin' English in no time.

Ah, a nice set of toys you've got here, huh?

All you need is a baseball diamond and football field,

a playground and eight other guys, and you're all set, huh?

Chris, maybe tomorrow we'll go down to the zoo, huh,

get some peanuts for the elephants?

Yeah, and get some for us too, huh, Chris? Good night.

- How do I look? - Beautiful.

Hey, that's a great collection of toys he has in there.

Uh, Sam, Ellen's downstairs. It's two minutes to 8:00.

They'll think I'm trying to make an entrance.

What were you planning to do, come up out of the floor?

- Did you get him those toys? - Gerald did. Was he playing when you went in?

He was playing a close set of tennis with himself.

Well, I'll get him some myself in the morning.

Alma's no playmate for that kid anyway. Where is Alma?

She's going to the banquet.

She feels completely responsible for winning this thing.

- Going to the banquet? - Yes. Chris'll be all right, Sam.

He's old enough. And besides, we'll be home by midnight.

- He can do a lot of crying in four hours. - I'll get the elevator boys to look in on him.

Yeah, get any one of 'em. They all speak Greek.

Sam, we've got to go. Ellen's waiting, and...

Yeah, you go ahead. You go ahead. I'll stay with him till he falls asleep.

Sam, don't be idiotic. You simply don't want to come to the dinner.

That's why you're putting on this paternal act.

I'm not putting on any act. We accepted a responsibility, didn't we?

But everyone'll be looking for you. What shall I say you're doing?

- Say I'm at home minding the baby. - For heaven's sake ‒

I don't care what you tell 'em. Tell 'em I had something important to do.

Who would believe that you had anything that was important enough to do to warrant ‒

It's too bad I'm not covering this dinner of yours tonight

because I've got an angle that would really be sensational.

The outstanding woman of the year isn't a woman at all.

I'm sorry.

You coming?

Chris, we're getting out of here.

(shouting excitedly)

(door closes)

We try not to be too strict with them. They're so high spirited.

I suppose you're interested in filing an application?

- We have a long waiting list, but ‒ - I'm afraid you don't understand.

I just brought one back.

- One of our children? - Yes. Yes, his name is Chris.

He just ran upstairs. He seemed to meet a friend.

Oh.

Uh, my wife brought him home before she talked to me about it.

- Didn't you like the child? - Oh ‒ Oh, yes.

The boy has nothing to do with it. I just didn't like the idea.

It ‒ It's a great responsibility, and it seems to turn the house upside down.

I see. Will you come in?

WOMAN (on radio): Never forget that Adolf Hitler's woman of the year ‒

- What did you say your name was? - Craig. Sam Craig.

...whose pathetic distinction is the number of male children

she contributes to the very state which holds her in bondage.

That contrast increases the pride

with which we now bestow this plaque

on America's outstanding woman of the year ‒

Why, aren't you ‒

Yeah.

...who so magnificently symbolizes the full and rounded life,

a glorious emancipation of womanhood in this country.

Our distinguished guest, Tess Harding.

(crowd applauding)

Sam should be here any minute.

Well, while we're waiting, let's grab a few shots of you working.

Yes, we need some informal stuff.

I seldom work in these clothes. I'll change. I won't be a minute.

Ah, there she is. Where do you do your work?

What Clayton wants most of all is you and Sam.

I do my work in there. Perhaps, if you don't get me with my husband ‒

I mean, if he doesn't get home in time, you could get a shot of me with my ‒

Just a minute.

You name it, Miss Harding.

Yeah, a shot of you with who?

With my typewriter, working. That would be interesting, don't you think?

Yeah, that would be something new.

But don't you see, Miss Harding, we made an exception in your case.

We only put people on our waiting list who have other children

or who want to take two of them.

As a matter of fact, there's a very nice Greek-American family ‒

I'm sure what you're saying is very sound, but I accepted Chris and I intend to keep him.

Oh, there's no doubt in my mind that Chris must be very fond of you.

But I gathered from Mr. Craig that he doesn't share your sympathy for children.

And it's been my experience ‒

Would you please have him brought down right away?

Won't tomorrow do? He's sleeping.

I'm sure he'll like to come home.

Very well.

- Hello, Chris. - Hello.

We're going to go home now.

- (in Greek) We are going home now. - I don't want to.

Listen, Chris.

You mustn't say things you don't mean.

- But I mean it. - Chris.

Wouldn't you rather be at home with me

than here or in an unfamiliar place?

I don't want to be anywhere with you.

Oh, I'm sure he doesn't mean it.

(door opens)

(door closes)

- (door opens, closes) - Telegram.

(door closes)

Extension 558, please.

Hello, Sam.

This is Tess Harding. Remember me?

That's nice.

Sam, something's come up which seems to concern both of us.

I wonder if you'd mind dropping up here for a minute.

No, honestly, it's ‒ it's a telegram.

Quite important.

I'll be right down, Sam.

- Hello, Mr. Craig. - Hello, Miss Harding.

We got an invitation.

Connecticut, tomorrow night.

I'm afraid I can't make it.

Won't be any fun alone.

- I'm sorry. I have to cover the fight. - What fight?

Championship.

Couldn't you duck it, give some excuse?

No.

It's, uh ‒ It's quite important in an unimportant sort of way.

I-I'll phone Ellen and tell her we'll drive up tomorrow afternoon.

No, no, don't bother. As a matter of fact, I've got a pretty heavy week.

But, Sam, Ellen won't understand our not being together.

She'll think there's something funny about it.

At first, maybe, but later on she'll see the serious side.

Last night was quite a night.

Mmm.

Among other things, it seems that both my men walked out on me.

Oh, Chris'll be all right.

He just needed a home.

I know.

We agree about that.

We're making progress.

Sam.

Why can't we sit down like adults and patch this thing up?

I'm afraid that might become a habit.

Then we'd wind up with a patchwork quilt instead of a marriage.

Well, what do you want me to do, just throw out everything we've had

when it was so perfect?

Is that what you think it was, a perfect marriage?

Didn't you?

I don't think it was either ‒ perfect or a marriage.

I don't understand.

That's just the point.

I guess it wasn't much use, my conniving my way down here this way.

That depends on what you were after.

I was sort of hoping that you'd kiss me good-bye.

I was sort of hoping that you'd ask me.

Bye.

Harriet.

- Oh! (laughing) - Hello.

Asa! I'm so glad to see you both.

Land sake, you're just in time, Mrs. Craig.

In time for what?

- Where's Mr. Craig? - He's not coming.

What goes on here? You're both in a dither.

Miss Ellen's upstairs.

What's the mystery?

All right, you're ravishing.

- Tess. - What goes on?

- How are you, dear? - Quit stalling. What goes on?

Well, it, uh...

seems there's going to be a wedding.

Ellen, if there's one thing in the world I'm not in the mood for, it's a wedding.

Who is it? Anyone I know?

Yes, I should think so.

Me.

It's Pop, of course.

Of course.

I think it's wonderful.

I was hoping you'd say that.

Isn't it strange how you can know someone for quite a long time and never quite ‒

- I mean ‒ - Yes, isn't it?

I hope you don't think we needed your example to give us the idea.

As a matter of fact, we did.

Should've asked my permission.

You modern fathers have no respect for old traditions.

I was pretty sure you'd approve of my choice.

And I fully intended to ask for your blessing.

- Dr. Potter here yet? - You bet. I went and got him myself.

I'm taking no chances. Where's Sam?

- Uh ‒ - Isn't he downstairs?

He had to work. World's championship. Fight.

But I wanted him for my bridesmaid. I was his best man.

Oh, getting married without Sam.

He'd feel much worse if you put it off on his account.

Dr. Potter's all ready to commence. Wants to know if you are too.

Go on. I'll take care of the bride.

You can't marry my father looking like somebody's aunt.

Were you really surprised?

Frankly, yes.

Somehow, I never thought of you as being anyone's wife.

Well, I know I'm not a magazine cover bride, but ‒

No, I don't mean that.

You're my woman of the century.

I always felt that you were above marriage.

Well, that's a nice, consoling way of looking at it.

You can't live alone in this world, Tess. It's no good.

Success is no fun unless you share it with someone.

I'm tired of winning prizes.

They're cold comfort.

This time I want to be the prize myself.

Come on, Ellen.

There's no reason for you to pretend you've been miserable all these years.

I'm sorry I said it.

There's no way you could possibly understand what I've felt.

No reason why you should.

No chance of your making a wrong choice.

You have Sam now, while you're still young.

They're waiting, Miss Ellen.

Come on.

♪♪ ("Wedding March")

♪♪ (ends)

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here together in the sight of God

and in the face of this company,

to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony,

which is an honorable estate

instituted of God

and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly,

but reverently, discreetly, soberly...

and in the fear of God.

You are performing an act of utter faith,

believing in one another to the end.

As the bride gives herself to the bridegroom,

let him be to her father and mother,

sister and brother

and most sacred husband.

As he gives himself to her,

let the bride inspire and sustain him.

Let her unite with him in all the experiences of life

to which their paths shall lead,

the great moments and the small,

that the joys of each shall be the joys of both,

and the sorrows of each...

the sorrows of both.

If you wish your new estate to be touched with lasting beauty,

cherish those gracious visions of your first love.

Let them not be blurred by the common events of life.

Be not moved in your devotion.

Believe in the ideal.

You saw it once.

It still exists.

It is the final proof.

William,

wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife,

to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony?

Hey! Um ‒

I wonder if you could let me in my apartment.

- Your apartment, lady? - I'm Mrs. Craig.

Mr. Craig married?

Obviously. I've been out of town for a week, and he took this place in my absence.

I'll ‒ I'll take a chance.

Uh ‒

Bye.

(clattering)

(loud clanging)

(alarm ringing)

(ringing stops)

(clears throat)

(loud whirring)

(metal clattering)

(refrigerator door closes)

Separate three eggs.

(clattering, tapping)

- Good morning. - What now?

I've come home, Sam.

Afraid I can't agree with you, Tess.

But, Sam.

This is our apartment by the river you've always wanted, isn't it?

- I'm going to be part of it. - What's the gag?

Sam, Pop and Ellen were married last night.

I listened to the words.

- You can't listen to them without them mean ‒ - You listened to them once before, didn't you?

But I didn't hear them, Sam. Honestly, I didn't.

I heard them last night though.

I love you, Sam.

Will you marry me?

You mean love, honor, cherish and obey until death do us part?

Yes, Sam.

You're gonna live here with me and kiss me good-bye in the morning

and wait for me to come home at night loaded down with pipes and slippers

and stories about what you and the girls did all day?

Yes, Sam.

Gonna run up little dimity curtains and sew buttons on my underwear?

Yes.

Cook and sew and put on your rubber gloves and wash the dishes on the maid's day out?

- Yes, darling. - This is the top phony of them all.

You've pulled some dandies, but you've really reached the heights now.

Barging in here at the crack of dawn, flushed and starry-eyed,

and expect me to smell orange blossoms

and see rice and old shoes floating through the air ‒

- Sam, why won't you believe me? - I'll tell you why I won't believe you.

Because every time you've tried to duck an issue, you've made love to me,

and I fell for it,

until, in the office yesterday, you realized for the first time

that I was wise to you and now you're trying a new one.

Why don't you drop the curtain on this act and let Miss Harding take her makeup off?

But, Sam, you don't understand.

I'm going to give up my job.

Really? What are you gonna do, run for president?

I'm going to be your wife.

You don't think that I can do the little ordinary things that any idiot can do, do you?

- No. - Why not?

Because you're incapable of doing them, that's why.

You can't expect Seabiscuit to stop in the middle of the stretch,

drink a glass of water and count to seven at the same time.

- That takes training. - Well, I'm not Seabiscuit.

(bubbling)

(bubbling continues)

(high-pitched squeaking)

(liquid boiling)

(high-pitched squeaking)

- Fourth down. You'd better kick! - Oh!

Sam, I can't do it. I've tried, but I can't.

Tess, I'm disappointed in you.

I've been mad at you, but this is the first time I've ever been disappointed.

Make them stop!

Why do you have to go to extremes, Tess?

I don't want to be married to Tess Harding

any more than I want you to be just Mrs. Sam Craig.

Why can't you be Tess Harding Craig?

I think it's a wonderful name.

(vehicle pulls up)

Miss Harding, uh ‒ Miss Harding!

They told me at the office that you had telephoned for this address.

You've got to launch a battleship at 8:30.

Gerald.

(glass shattering)

(thudding)

I've just launched Gerald.