Original subtitles

[groovy upbeat music]

♪

- ♪ I know this is new, being alone ♪

[phone dings, buzzes]

[music continues over headphones]

- That is too desperate.

Too... normal?

Nailed it.

Good morning, mother. - Good morning, Charlotte.

- For you. - Thank you, darling.

So, what's on Ben's breakfast menu today?

In sort of a south-of-the-border mood

this morning, maybe a chili and chorizo scramble?

- Come on, Mom, we don't need Ben to cook for us.

We are strong, smart, independent women.

We can cook for ourselves. - Mm-hmm.

You know those pears are decorative, right?

- Yeah, yeah, totally. - Okay.

Where is Ben, anyway?

I thought you guys always had to be together.

- So did I. - So what happened?

- Nothing, it's not really anything

worth talking about, Mom.

Just know that he's not really going to be around anymore.

- Oh, my God, honey.

I am so happy for you.

- Thanks, Mom. - Mm.

Ben's great and all, but if your life were a road,

that kid was a downed power line

blocking your way.

Now that he's cleared, we can

concentrate on your future.

I will miss his cooking, though.

That's okay, that's why God invented Postmates.

[phone dings, buzzes]

[calm music]

♪

- You know, I feel good.

I feel better than good. I feel invincible.

I feel indestructible. I feel incredible.

I feel, just, I feel all the "-ibles."

- Good for you.

Remember that time, freshman year,

we were walking to school,

and we took that shortcut through the alleyway?

And a naked homeless man with a neck goiter popped out

and started screaming about how he could taste electricity?

And then he puked antifreeze everywhere?

- Yeah. - Well, that's how I feel.

- God, I'm sorry, Wren.

- What's that?

- Um, it's the address of the woman

who sold Ben the necklaces.

I'm sure he slipped it in my locker after the dance.

- Well, aren't you going to check it out?

- What would be the point? - What do you mean?

To get some closure would be the point.

I mean, don't you want to know why all this

is happening to you? - Happened, not happening.

Because it's over. Ben lied to me

about wanting to be near me, and now he's not near me.

What more closure could I need? - I can't believe you.

Sure, Ben is a grade-A doofbag for lying to you,

but you can't deny the fact that you two

have a special connection with each other.

Love is a beautiful yet delicate thing.

Like Ryan Gosling's face.

And you're taking that face,

you're putting it up to the curb,

and you're stomping on that face.

You're curb-stomping Ryan Gosling's face, Charles.

- God, what are you talking about?

- Um, I don't know, I'm...

[scoffs] I'm sorry, I just,

I think this whole Bethany thing's got my head all screwy.

I just need to find a quiet place

and watch some cat videos. - Okay.

- I'll see you at lunch?

- Actually, I have a lunch date with Luke.

- Looks like you're finally

getting everything you ever wanted.

You bitch.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. - Let's just--

- I didn't mean that. You know that, right?

♪

- Hmm.

You enjoying your food? - Yeah, no, I love hot dogs.

- Yeah, well, it's impossible to get a reservation here.

But I know a guy who knows a guy.

- [yells] - And the ambiance.

It's almost too classy, you know?

Sorry, I uh...

I bet this isn't how you imagined

our first date would go.

- No, no, I...

No, I just, I like sitting here with you.

Do you want my grapes? I'm done eating.

- Oh, no thanks. I don't do fruit, so.

I feel like I barely know you, Charley.

Tell me something about yourself.

- Um, I was born here, in Rosita Hills.

I, uh, I'm sorry.

Uh, did you just say you don't do fruit?

- I did.

- Ah, okay, yeah.

No, that's what-- that's what I thought you said.

Um, so I was born-- um, wait, okay.

I don't mean to fixate on this. What does that mean, exactly?

- [chuckles] I know, it's weird.

My whole family gives me such a hard time about it,

but I hate all fruit.

- But, I, you know, I just watched you

crush, like, a hot dog, covered in sauerkraut.

But like, fruit is where you just--you draw the line?

- It's a texture thing.

- But there's so many kinds of fruits.

You--you just, you don't like any of them?

- Nope. - Strawberries?

- Uh-uh. - Blueberries?

- No. - Kiwi?

- No, are you just going to keep listing fruit?

- Bananas? - No. [soft laugh]

- Cherries? - No.

- Papaya? - I--I never really tried it,

actually, but I would guess no.

Because again-- [both chuckle]

I hate all fruit. [chuckles]

That's not like, a deal-breaker or anything, is it?

- What? No, no, I--so...

Of course not. You don't do fruit.

And I do do all of the fruit.

So that would be, it would be pretty shallow of me

to let that bother me, for realsies.

For realsies.

- Good.

[exhales]

- So like, not even tomatoes? - Ugh, no.

Tomatoes are my least favorite. So gross.

- Right.

No, it's--it's not a deal-breaker at all.

come into contact with a human being,

they deposit larvae into the human skin,

typically through a hair follicle.

The larvae then make their way to the heart,

and once there, will pair off

with a parasitic flatworm of the opposite sex,

a monogamous relationship

that will last their entire lifespan.

From the heart, the flatworms will both travel down,

down, down to the intestines where they will both feed

off the host's blood and produce hundreds

of eggs every day.

Yes, Ms. Albright?

- What is the pairing process like?

- Uh, I don't know what you mean.

- I mean, what if there are two equally viable

male parasitic flatworms, and the female

parasitic flatworm is just having a really tough time

deciding who she wants to be with.

- Uh, I don't-- - And then, say she does

choose one, but then, like,

she's just hanging out in the intestines,

and it just occurs to her that, like,

maybe she chose the wrong one.

Like, what if the male parasitic flatworm she chose

isn't the male parasitic flatworm she thought he was?

That's just--I get it. I get it. It's not his fault.

It's like, totally not fair to, like, think

this male parasitic flatworm could live up to this idealized

version of what a male parasitic flatworm

is in her head, but...

I mean, it's crazy to not like tomatoes.

What, you're telling me, like, you don't like BLTs?

BLTs are like, the most delicious sandwich there is.

- What?

- I need to go. - Oh.

Well, we're in the middle of class, so

where--where are you going?

- To get some closure. - All right.

Well, you're still going to need a hall pass for that.

- Oh. - Charley.

- Yeah. - Uh, Mr. Barnheiser?

I've actually got to go get some closure, too.

- Shut up, Mason.

- Hey, Charlotte.

Is Wren okay? - Not really, Bethany, no.

- You know it's not my fault, right?

I don't want to hurt her, it's just if my family

found out that I was...

It's not my fault. - Do you like Wren?

- Yeah. - Okay.

Does anyone get hurt by you being with Wren?

- No.

- Okay, then who gives a shit what anyone else thinks?

[Electric Guest's "Back For Me"]

♪

- ♪ Watched you drive away

♪ You're back out on the road ♪

♪ Tried to make L.A.

[playing on radio] ♪ A second place for home

♪ And I know we've got a thousand ways to go ♪

- You've got to be kidding me.

[suspenseful music]

♪

[doorbell rings]

- [muffled groans]

- Um, hel--hello.

- [muffled groan]

- Uh, I'm looking for Madam Fortuna.

- [muffled groans]

- [scoffs] Jasper, what are you doing?

You're scaring the poor girl half to death,

you creepy little man.

Come on, get back to your chair.

- [muffled groan] - Sorry about him.

Sometimes he forgets he has a face

made from the nightmares of children.

[chuckles] - Oh, no, it's okay.

- What can I do for you, dear?

- Uh, I'm looking for a woman named Madam Fortuna.

- You've come to the right place.

- Can--can I-- can I talk to her?

- You already are, that's me. I am Madam Fortuna.

Oh, but please, call me Mildred.

- Oh, wow, sorry, I just-- based on Ben's description,

I just thought you'd be older. - [laughs]

Well, I guess to a ten-year-old boy,

all adults seem old.

- That is true.

Wait, um, you remember Ben? - Of course.

And you must be Charlotte. Charlotte Albright.

Right?

Oh, please, I'm not psychic. I saw you two on the news.

- Oh, right.

Yeah, okay. - Come in.

- [labored breathing]

- Honestly, I'm surprised it took you so long

to come and talk to me.

I was expecting you weeks ago.

- Yeah, unfortunately, we ran into some complications

trying to find you. - Why?

You could have just Googled me. [laughs]

I can't imagine there are too many Fortunas in this town.

- Right, not really sure why we didn't think of that.

- You want to know about the necklaces

I sold to Ben, I'm sure.

- Yeah, um, I'm just kind of curious of

how they work, exactly.

- They're enchanted with a very powerful,

very strong soul-binding spell.

It's called "ragosta eternum,"

which is Romanian for everlasting love.

Its purpose is to ensure that two lovers

stay in the corporeal form.

As long as one lover is alive, both will be.

- So is there a way to take off the necklaces

without, like, hurting Ben? - Oh, no.

Once Ben died and you put a necklace on,

it was like a switch.

The spell turned on.

And once the spell is on, the necklace isn't coming off.

But seriously, I can't believe you two were running around

with those on without even knowing how they work.

So irresponsible.

- Um, do--do you know what's irresponsible,

is selling a very old, very powerful,

magic enchanted necklace to a ten-year-old boy.

- Well, I had no choice. I had to sell it to him.

- Why?

- Because once Ben walked into my shop, I knew it.

We share the same destiny.

- The same destiny? What does that mean?

[tense music]

♪

- Oh, my God.

[cats meowing] [laughter]

- Hey, Wren. Quick question?

Yeah?

Uh, on a scale from one to ten,

how important would you say liking fruit is to Charley?

- The hell are you talking about?

- I was born in Romania just after World War II.

In the late 50's, my family migrated

to this small village in Wales.

That's where I met this old lump.

- [labored breathing]

- I fell in love with him instantly.

It was his sense of humor that did it for me.

Jasper was one of the funniest,

silliest people I have ever met.

Aw, he still is.

- [labored breathing] [grunts]

- Uh-huh, yeah, funny and silly are definitely the words

I would use to describe him.

- Right before my 30th birthday,

contracted tuberculosis.

Well, you can probably tell from my appearance

I didn't exactly recover.

After I came back from the dead,

people weren't too accepting of my "condition."

We were forced to move around a lot.

But about 15 years ago, we decided it's time

for us to settle down here. - So you don't age, then?

- [laughs] That's one of the perks

of the enchantment.

- Um, what'll happen when, uh-- - Jasper dies?

Well, the spell will break, and I will pass, too.

But I've made peace with that.

- Wait, is that the only way to break the spell?

- Well that, and being apart for an extended period of time.

But I'm sure you figured that out by now.

- Uh, wait, the-- the distance rule is real?

- Of course it is.

Speaking of which, you shouldn't be away

from Ben for this long. An hour or two is fine,

but more than that, and you're in trouble.

- When you say you're in trouble,

what do you mean by that exactly?

- Well, it depends how long it's been.

Why?

How long you been apart from each other?

- Two days.

- Oh, no.

This isn't good.

- Um, when you say this isn't good,

what do you mean exactly?

[tense music]

- I don't know. I just--

How do I get Charley to like me?

- [sighs] You boys.

Look, you can't get Charley to like you, Luke.

It's up to her.

[phone buzzing] Ah, speak of the devil.

Sup, doobie?

Charles, calm down. We're going to find him, okay?

Just tell me what you need me to do.

[dramatic music]

♪

- Hey, what did the front office say?

- Ben hasn't been in his classes all day.

Did you get in touch with his mom?

- She hasn't seen him since Friday.

Any luck? - No.

But we've put out an APB with Ben's description.

- If any of my boys see a male, 17,

Caucasian, undead, they'll let me know.

- We have to find him soon.

His body is deteriorating as we speak.

It could be too late already.

- Wren, can I talk to you?

- Bethany, hey, um, it's really not a good time right now.

- No, I need to do this now.

I have to get something off my chest,

and if I wait, I'm not sure I'm going to be able

to work up the nerve again.

I'm gay.

Wow, I have never said that out loud before.

I'm gay.

I'm a gay person,

with a gay body, and a gay head,

and gay hair, and gay legs,

[soft laugh] and gay feet, and gay shoes.

- I don't think shoes can have a sexual orientation,

but I get the gist. I'm proud of you.

That's a really hard thing to admit.

- I really like you, and I know our views,

politically, don't really align.

I mean like, I actually care about this country,

and you live in a little liberal fantasy land,

but who cares about that stuff, anyway?

You have made me feel things I have never felt before.

I'm gay, and I like you, Wren Perkins.

- Well, I'm gay, and I like you, Bethany Fowler.

And I don't mean to take away from this moment we're having,

but we're kind of in the middle of something.

- Oh, um, hey, I'm Bethany.

- Hey, congrats. - Hi, Bethany.

- Yeah, that was powerful stuff.

- It was really brave. Took a lot of guts.

- [laughs] Oh, thank you.

What's going on here?

- So Ben is in a lot of trouble,

and we need to find him right now.

But, um, I promise as soon as we're done,

we'll find a private place and talk, okay?

- Wait, um, private place, private place.

I know where he is. - Come on.

[dramatic music]

♪

- Where y'all going? - To find Ben.

- Can I come? - Sure.

- Dope.

- Ben, are you up here? Ben--

♪

[whispering] Oh, my God, Ben.

Ben?

We're within 30 feet of each other.

Why are the necklaces not healing him?

- It's too late.

Honestly, I'm surprised he lasted this long.

He's a strong kid.

- What's going to happen to him?

- Once the spell fades away, so will Ben.

- No, there's got to be something you can do,

like a spell that can bring him back.

- Kiss him.

- What? - Kiss him.

- Eleanor's right. If this was a fairy tale,

a kiss from his one true love would bring him back to life.

- Oh, my God, yes. That is a great idea.

You have to kiss him, Charley.

For love.

[inspiring music]

- Could that work?

♪

[music swells]

[all groan]

- My bad.

- Damn it, I really thought that was going to work.

- How much longer does he have?

- Not long.

- Can I be alone with him?

[somber ambient music]

♪

Ben.

Come, Ben.

Good Ben.

Why me? Like, why--why do you like me?

If you had just picked someone like Bev Fitternick,

you'd still be alive, and I-- I wouldn't have to lose you.

Again.

God, that is such a Ben Bloom move.

Like, dying twice?

You know, I always had this image in my head.

It was always so clear, it was like--it was like an Instagram.

It was just me, standing there, and Luke was next to me,

and we were in a field of flowers,

and like, there were all these marshmallow puffy clouds

in the sky, and there were just kittens everywhere.

Just so many kittens. It was...

It was too many kittens, really.

But I--I'd think of this image when I was driving,

when I was lying in bed,

when I was walking down the hall,

and it would just, it would always make me feel good.

You know, like this idea of a perfect life.

But I mean, something felt really off,

[stammers] and, and, it just,

felt like this beautifully wrapped gift

that was just, like, empty inside.

And I--I didn't know why.

And then, I realized what it was today

when I was sitting in class, and I was listening

to Mr. Barnheiser talk about parasitic flatworms.

And I realized that, you know, that image...

it wasn't right because you weren't in it.

Because you're the parasitic flatworm I want to be with.

- What the hell are you talking about?

- Oh, my God, Ben!

[laughs]

- What happened?

- Um, it's a-- it's a really long story,

but I can give you like, a CliffsNotes version.

Um, you know, I left you at the school dance,

and then life went back to normal for a few days,

but like, it didn't, because I was just pretending.

And then I went to lunch with Luke,

and he told me that he didn't like fruit.

And then, I went and I found Madam Fortuna,

and she's--she's dead, like you.

And the distance rule is real, she told me, because you lied.

And then I came up here and...

And you were in full-blown zombie mode,

and, um, Eleanor told me if I kissed you,

that maybe you'd come back, and you didn't.

And then I talked about intestinal parasites.

And you came back.

- Oh.

Okay.

Wait, did you just say that you kissed me, and I missed it?

God damn it, that is so--

- That was nice.

Are you okay?

Are you not saying anything

because you think it's going to be stupid,

and you're going to ruin the moment?

Okay. [both laugh]

- You know, I'm not sure what's more surprising.

The fact that Madam Fortuna is dead,

or that Luke doesn't like fruit.

- I know, it's like a texture thing.

- Even tomatoes? - Even tomatoes.

- That's insanity, okay, BLTs are like

the best sandwiches ever made.

- I know, no, that's exactly what I said.

- So what's next?

- Uh, I don't know, I think a BLT sounds pretty good.

- I meant, like, what's next with, like, us?

- Oh.

Um, I don't...

I don't really know, honestly. Um...

But I don't really care. All I care about is just

sitting here with you right now.

Because I mean, we have the rest of our lives

to think about the rest of our lives.

So I just, I want to enjoy this moment here with you.

Just right now.

Okay?

- Okay.

[Valise's "Dialogue" plays]

- ♪ My hands on your mouth, your feet off the ground ♪

♪ As all our time runs out

♪

♪ If I could stop this now

♪ Just to put myself out

♪ To find another way to change your day ♪

♪ To change your day

♪ This will never be erased