Original subtitles

Mobeen,

welcome back to the world of haram.

Great to be here.

Shit!

Go, go, go!

Shajeed, you take this one.

Is that Shaj from school?

Who's in charge now, huh?

Stop wasting taxpayers' money on this bullshit.

We're the police,

we waste taxpayers' money on whatever we like.

You have an informant in your organization,

For disrespecting me, people disappear.

Come on here.

You'll never frame family again.

Mobeen,

you just made this personally, yeah.

Let go of him!

Mo!

He's done nothing.

Khan.

Is that you then, Dr. Deen?

I love you

and Nate.

Yo Mobeen,

they found Khan,

he's hiding in Karachi.

What are you gonna do?

So tell us Mobeen,

what can we do to become more united?

Oh, I tell you my brothers,

we can become more united

through the power of bars.

We are all brothers,

him, you and me.

Oh we are together like numbers.

1, 2, 3.

You see my brothers friendship and unity must be the goal.

Even if the streets call us pussiods.

Dare you to call me pussiod.

He's got PTSD,

we tested.

It's immoral and haram to sell heroin and crack.

Always very much illegal.

Like the war in Iraq.

Fuck Tony Blair.

Yeah.

I said what I said.

I said what I said.

Yeah, come on.

But my brothers,

we've been through pain.

Our best friend Eight is dead.

Got shot twice in the back, once in the head.

Discount, discount, dead in the ground.

I wanted revenge.

But Nate made me see I have to change my ways.

All eyes on me.

Tupac, RIP.

Who loves their mum?

I hate my mom,

my mom's a twat!

Who loves their mum?

- I do Mega. - I love my mum.

Because in here I'm your mum.

See,

the thing about a good mum is,

she disciplines her lads when they misbehave.

So who wants to explain to me why mummy's

E's

and mummy's spice

and mummy's heroine

hasn't been sold all week?

It's,

you know who's fault?

Elaborate.

Well, at the listening sessions,

he said selling people gear in here

is like killing their own.

And he also said you have type two diabetes

and a gout of three toes.

Well he's wrong.

I don't have type two diabetes.

I have two types of diabetes.

There's a difference.

And here's what I think,

you are gonna get my gear sold,

or I'm gonna have your real mums

thrown off Small Heath Bridge

and you can attend the funeral on Zoom.

So you can forget about being monks, priests and Imams.

Got it?

- Understood. - Yes.

- Yes. - Yes.

Right, get fucked.

I want, you know who

and his lanky, Oprah Winfrey wife

to know that I'm gonna catch them in their wing

and you are gonna help me do it.

How?

You're gonna get your cousin, The Screw to set it up.

You got that?

- Yes Mummy. - Good.

'Cause I'm gonna kill.

Nate,

not long left, huh?

Almost home mate, almost home.

Well, well well.

Mobeen Haram zada bastard Deen.

There you are.

Shaj you must know this, yeah?

But the word haram zada

directly translates into English, as bastard.

So you just call me bastard bastard.

New coms,

or is that a

prison officer fancy dress costume for toddlers?

Size could be smaller.

It's 2023, don't body shame me.

You fat fuck.

Thank you.

I'm here to tell you boys,

I've just been put in charge of this wing.

Oh shit.

I'm now in charge of two wings

and 600 inmates.

Yes!

You are in charge of 600 people?

Bro, you know when we were kids?

Yeah?

He wasn't trusted with his lolly.

Just one tiny lolly.

Let's round applause that.

That's incredible.

You oversee 600 human lives.

Bro, what's it like coming to work every single day, right?

And knowing that all 600 of those people

are taller than you?

Oh yeah, that's a good one, ain't it?

That's funny, that's funny.

You two, you can laugh now.

Laugh all you want, but you've got surprise coming.

A new arrival and not the good kind,

like a baby.

It's not a baby.

Huh?

Why would you even bring up a baby?

Wait bro, I don't want a baby.

No, no, no, no, there's gonna be no babies

in here on my watch.

On a level, we got two weeks left,

we don't want no drama.

So please, get the fuck off.

Plus, I've been talking to this girl online man,

and you know, I haven't had.

In years.

Disgusting.

Listen, I'm still here you dick holes

and I'm gonna make sure that your last moments in here

are the worst that any human being has ever experienced.

You can't do that.

Oh yes I can.

Oh no, you actually can't.

Why not?

Because Officer Shajeed,

the worst moments ever lived by a human being-

Have already taken place.

So when your mom realized

that her 35-year-old son

would never be taller than her wheelie bin.

You are so fucking short, bro.

None.

546.

Like this big really,

fuck off, yeah.

I hate him.

Honestly, man.

But how is he on our doorstep?

I can still hear you.

Shut up.

Stop hurting my feelings, all right?

I'm an average height in Pakistan.

Yeah for an 83-year-old auntie.

Nothing to be proud of.

Fuck sake.

Oi!

Get back in there.

I said get back in your cell.

How does someone like him even get a job in here?

Oh yeah,

because Shaj and Chippy are, they're cousins.

Bro you better hope that new arrival ain't Megalodon.

Why blood?

Why you think man is scared?

Huh?

I am scared of Megalodon.

Oh yeah.

I'm just trying to save the brothers.

You tell me save the brothers.

How bout you save us?

We are the brothers

Can't be getting any more trouble Mobs.

I know.

Because nothing's gonna stop me from getting some good-

Here.

One more time.

Don't do that on the first date, though.

Probably end up back in here, ain't it?

♪ Yes, yes, yes ♪

♪ Coming fresh from the mind ♪

♪ Landmines detonating ♪

♪ Keep it moving every time ♪

♪ Fresh, fresh ♪

♪ Be the lines intertwine in the rhymes ♪

♪ Every time ♪

♪ The rhymes keep you moving every time ♪

♪ Yes, yes, yes ♪

♪ Coming fresh from the mind ♪

♪ Landmines detonating ♪

♪ Keep it moving every time ♪

Excuse me.

Are you listening to me?

What you talking about?

I did not push in.

Well, you very clearly did

because I stood there and now I'm stood here.

So how did that happen?

You wanna watch who you're speaking to, dickhead.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Do you mind look at me, Aki?

Yeah.

We spoke about this,

anger leads to?

- More jail time. - More jail time.

Yeah.

Larry man.

Okay, okay.

I promise you I did not push in.

Ah, yes you did.

It was incredibly uncouth.

He's aware of what the term uncouth means.

He studied English literature in young offenders.

Fucking love Great Gatsby.

Loves it.

Fitzgerald,

it's a poor man Salinger.

Who's this prick anyway?

I don't know who he is.

But if you ask me, it's a very naughty vibe going on here.

Yeah, definitely odd.

Honestly, I'm not a nunce.

You sure?

I'm 100%.

Prove it, what kind of things you into?

Everyone involved, 50 plus minimum.

Okay, we're talking Gen X, Baby boomers.

Baby!

Baby boomers.

They were babies once.

No, I'm not a honestly nunce, honestly.

nunce vibes.

Honestly, honestly guys,

guys, I'm serious.

Guys.

Oh shit.

♪ Videos, drug hype ♪

♪ Diamond jewels ♪

♪ Made from Rasta from kings ♪

♪ But people nearly enslaved ♪

♪ In century 21 ♪

♪ Stop buying to save ♪

♪ Be brave to make a play ♪

♪ Don't be afraid to make waves ♪

♪ To live a full life ♪

♪ Before you go to your grave ♪

♪ A black proud of man town is what you need ♪

♪ No matter where you come from ♪

Hang on there love.

Wait.

You've been told about putting these

in a nappy before Linda.

Come on.

She must have put them in there herself.

Chips.

What you pull?

Chipo, look at me.

Oh Chippy, you better look at me right now,

I know you can hear me.

No way, Jose.

Is that right?

Did you talk with Jose?

No, not you Jose.

Oh, okay.

Sorry Jose.

No problem.

Mobeen.

I know you Chippy, yeah.

I remember when you pissed on yourself

in Miss Altor's assembly.

I remember when you told everyone Jamilia was your cousin.

And I remember when you said you got Britney Spears pregnant

in Alton Towers 'cause you gave her the tar-tar boom-boom.

That was a good day.

Yeah, I remember you said it, didn't happen.

Fraudulent activity.

Listen to me, okay?

I need to talk to you.

If Mega sees me talking to you.

Listen to me, you don't worry about Mega, okay?

This is just me and you.

We mind them.

We're brothers.

I wanna ask you about your cousin.

Jamilia?

Not fucking Jamilia.

Shaj,

Shaj.

No Mobs, I ain't about that.

You got bad juju on you.

Anyone who hangs around with you ends up in prison.

Well we already here so you ain't gonna worry about that.

Or they end up dead.

Yeah, dead.

Boo!

For fuck sake, keep it down.

Hey, in case you haven't noticed, okay?

I shower with men who kill people.

That makes me jumpier than usual.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

I treat people who kill people every day on my own.

With four hours sleep to my name.

Can't you just become a dentist

and you don't have to work in A&E?

Can't you just be a normal brother

who isn't framed for crimes he allegedly didn't commit.

This is a very good point.

I've got nothing to say for that,

it's a good point, okay.

- Mm-hmm. - Okay.

So, did you sort your beef out

with them doctor wankers?

No, and I'm not going skiing.

I don't blame you.

The only thing whiter than the slopes

are the posh people on 'em.

And I can't afford to go skiing.

There's loads of gear in that.

About that, come here, come here, come here.

I know this lad yeah, he works in Mountain Warehouse.

He said he can liberate all the stuff you need.

Skis, goggles, helmets.

What do you want?

They so cliquey about it.

They can all afford to do whatever they like.

Well they can eat a bottle of (indistinct), yeah.

Remember who you are.

You are Aqsa Deen,

my little sister,

from the Ends.

And even though you had an idiot for a brother like me,

I prefer imbecile, but go on.

Yeah, okay.

Imbecile over here.

But you are top of all your medical classes.

You are a favorite with your patients.

You see you.

You are already doing the impossible, man.

That was some emotional shit.

I mean that should have been on Disney Plus.

Fuck off.

I can't wait till you come home.

Honestly, me and neither man

and Aqsa, I promise you when I leave here,

we ain't never coming back.

Inshallah.

Inshallah.

Aqsa Deen, right?

Sit.

The doctor.

You're just the right person that sort this guy out.

If anyone were to happen to,

I dunno cave his head in.

That sort of thing happens around here doc.

Especially to people who can't mind their own business.

Oi!

What are you doing here, Big Show?

Your lawyer's in there.

I'll see you on your wing soon, brother.

Nice to meet you.

I know.

Love you.

I love you too, kid.

Oh wow.

That's an amazing position.

Mm, that will take out the pain in the lower back.

Oh man, there's trouble now.

Oh shit, it's kicking off.

Mo!

Wake up!

Mobeen Deen, wake up now.

No, I don't wanna have a massage

from you again at night

it make me feel too sexy when you do that at night.

I don't wanna give you massage you gutta.

I think Meg is here.

We could try to burn him.

With incense sticks?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I'm put this antenna

in his looly hole.

- Inside. - Yeah.

Mobeen.

Nathaniel.

Oh.

Officer Harper, you are the new arrival.

Look at them cheekbones.

Can I touch 'em?

First things first.

Gorgeous.

Keep your voices down,

got a lot to discuss.

Second thing, second.

Pop a cat on Nate,

you sit.

I can't believe it.

Get a move on lads.

Yeah.

Colonel Moon Tittington.

That's me.

I'm here undercover as a prison officer.

I know what you're both thinking.

You right.

I do look sexy as fuck in this uniform.

Mm-hmm-hmm.

Have a listen.

Does Shaj know about this?

Shaj knows what Shaj always knows,

which is the square root of fuck all.

I have to share an officer's box with him on shift.

His breath still stinks of-

Loneliness and dirty onions.

No, I smell shit on his breath.

Anyway, I'm gonna cut to the chase.

Oh shit.

There's a chase and we're cutting to it.

Khan.

Former Small Heath kingpin.

The man who had Eight murdered.

There's a chance that we could put him

behind bars for the rest of his days.

Ginseng, it's extremely cleansing.

Lovely, Nathaniel, thank you.

We think Khan's left Karachi.

He's on the move.

We need you to help us catch the bastard.

No.

No.

Harper, listen to me, yeah.

We are rehabilitated.

We don't these vibes in our life.

That's what prison does for you.

Also makes you sick at yoga.

We flexi-

And flock.

There's a new inmate on the wing

and he's got access to the bank accounts, balances,

and offshores of Khan's entire financial operation.

- What? - What?

Even juicier,

he's a detailed breakdown of Khan working

with every Ben Copper in Brohm.

Impossible.

Look what you are saying, okay?

This is why you don't trust him, yeah.

I told you.

Don't trust him,

'cause if that was true, whoever this man is,

he would be dead.

Khan would've dumped him, yes or no.

Definitely.

Finish what he talking about?

Rubbish.

He deleted all the digital details of Khan's money

and memorized the info.

He's got a photographic memory.

Oh shit.

What's his name?

Memory stick.

Memory stick.

Is that like a, like a code name or something?

No, his mom worked in PC World.

Of course it's a fucking code name.

Right.

Look, I need you to make friends with him,

because I can't believe if I'm gonna say this.

You're incredible with people.

It's your best skill.

I mean, it's like a gift from Allah.

Say again?

What'd you just say?

It's like a gift from Allah.

You are right.

I'm a gift from Allah.

It's not what I said.

Allah gave me this gift, 1986.

You are right.

I've been saying this in primary school, I felt it.

Just think about it, will you?

That is cleansing, Nathaniel.

Told you.

He actually thinks you're gonna do it.

Not you.

Smarter than that, right?

Yeah.

Chaplain,

I need your advice.

This place has changed me,

fundamentally.

I'm a new man.

I'm ready for a new life,

a new start.

I don't understand you bastard.

Uncle, I'm saying,

I've changed.

Yes, yes, you are a much better bastard now.

And you know one thing I admire most about you?

That you no longer care,

that you are responsible for your friend's death.

This is good.

And the man who killed your friend

will come after your sister.

And I wonder if that long green coat will fit you

after all these prison food.

Rolly polly.

Rolly.

Thanks Mobs.

No problem, you know I love you.

Oh, it smells delicious.

It smells sick, ain't it?

Yeah, I just love you though.

Unless you want another one of these,

you're wasting your time.

Mobs ain't getting involved.

Have you told him yet?

Hmm?

No, but.

You're doing this?

What about moving on?

What about Tupac?

Tupac is dead, okay.

And I don't want us to end up like Tupac.

As long as Khan is out there,

brother we gonna be looking over our shoulders

for the rest of our life.

Where is he?

Just look over your shoulder.

There's worse things to do than

looking over your shoulder.

If you've got a sore neck,

I'll give you a massage, I promise.

No man.

I'm sorry Nate,

but I promise you,

this ain't gonna impact you.

Okay?

It's all on me.

It's all on me.

Yeah?

Nate, come on baby?

I'm not your baby.

It's nice to see this relationship's got healthier.

Do you want me to give you two a minute?

No, we are fine.

Show me his picture.

Bloody Memory stick.

This is him.

Oh.

That's definitely the guy.

Mmm.

He's in the infirmary.

Is he?

Been battered senseless.

Well why did he, why?

'Cause everyone thinks he's a nunce.

Did they say that he was a nunce?

It was you, weren't it?

I didn't do.

I did, but look at his fringe.

He's got a nunce's fringe.

Yes.

I need you to get to him.

Bro, he's on a secure wing.

I can't get into that infirmary.

There's no way.

You know how bad that is?

This really only one way I can get you in there.

How, how, how?

Ah!

Ah, it's gonna hurt me a lot more

than it's hurts you.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah, I get that.

Oh, my balls.

Ow my balls.

What the fuck?

Yeah, you might have to hold a couple

of licks too, Nathaniel.

Huh?

Sorry pal.

Gotta make it look legit.

I really missed you two.

I hate officer Harper.

♪ I know what I stand for ♪

♪ So respect that I get what these hands for ♪

♪ Knocking heads it was said I'm the man though ♪

♪ Ask about me even all your mans know ♪

♪ I'm not to be tested ♪

♪ For that action like snatching my necklace is reckless. ♪

♪ Reckless ♪

♪ Don't forget this ♪

♪ Consequences gonna leave you defenseless ♪

♪ To that point where you crying out ♪

♪ Lying now for show what I'm lying about ♪

♪ Not a single thing, but you can try it out ♪

♪ All that noise that you make can go die it down ♪