All language subtitles for Ghosts.2021.S04E17.His.Girl.Shiki.1080p

"And having successfully stalled
the bill on procedural grounds,

"Captain Higgintooth
left the statehouse in Albany,

turned into a bat
and flew away."

Give us your honest thoughts.

I think it's weird

that in Isaac's biography,
he's a vampire.

Again, that ship has sailed.

What about
the writing?

Sass, you're
a storyteller.

Why do you feel Samantha
uses too many commas?

Hey, guys. Sass, I
have incredible news.

You remember how I promised you
I was gonna search far and wide

to find you a lovely dead lady?

Well, I met
another roamer,

and she can't wait to meet you.

What do you mean? She's here?

She sure is, buddy.
Right in the living room.

Her name is Joan.

And does she know
about his situation?

It's not a situation,
I just haven't done it

in the 500-plus years
of my existence.

Agreed, it's nothing
to be ashamed about.

But maybe don't lead with it.

Seriously, Pete?

Man, you really find out
what people think of you

with these setups.

Hey, Joan.

Joan, hello.

Joan?

[low]: Hmm, did she die
without her hearing aid?

She's not dead yet, champ,
but give her a few minutes.

You're Joan?

The one and only.

And you're Sasappis,
I presume?

I used to work with a Sasappis

at Paramount Pictures
back in the '40s.

Really?
[chuckles]:
No.

- Oh.
- Well,

cute and gullible, just my type.

Hmm.
So,

Pete says you're a storyteller.

Uh, yeah, well,
I was going to be,

but then I died the week
before my, uh, first...

uh, storytelling t-thing.

Well, you've really got
a way with words, kid.

[both chuckle]

[stammers]

What?
What? Uh... No.

I didn't know if you
were talking still.
Uh-- y-you said something.

Doesn't make sense.
Okay. Sorry.

[both chuckle]

[exhales]

♪ ♪

Sam, did you know
that Greg and Lydia

had reservations
for our restaurant last night

and just didn't show?

Seriously? That's rude.

[sighs] They're friends
of ours from the city.

Which city? Is there
only one city now?

What's happening
out there?

They didn't even send a text.

I bet this is because we didn't
go to their New Year's party.

But we had guests.
We were working.

JAY: You know
what this is?

It's a revenge bail.

They revenge-bailed.

This is like when
Gordon Lightfoot

didn't come to my threesome
'cause I didn't go to his orgy.

HETTY: Are we sure
something didn't happen?

Perhaps they ate
a bad ostrich egg.

As you know,
they're currently out of season.

Are we sure they're okay, Jay?

Oh, they're okay.

Lydia Instagrammed
from Hudson Yards.

They were hitting
golf balls all night.

Greg fixed his slice and I can't
even feel good for him.

This revenge bail,
very interesting concept.

Remember when Alberta miss

Thor's thousandth
birthday party?

Wasn't that, like,
50 years ago?

Thor very angry.

But now have plan.

Thor going to revenge-bail

on Alberta's
thousandth birthday party.

It make her most furious.
[laughs]

Okay, but you know that's not
for another 900 years, right?

Hmm.

Maybe Thor find way
to revenge-bail sooner.

But no one must speak of this.

Must keep most
tightly guarded secret.

Revenge bail!
[electricity buzzing]

Yes, mum's the word.

Man, it must be so cool
being a roamer.

Not much exciting
happens around here.

Although, one time, Thor almost
got eviscerated in a ghost trap.

Sounds like
my riverboat rom-com.

That got eviscerated in Variety.

Abel Green said my script
was "dead in the water."

Anyway, tell me,

how did you help your friend
escape from that trap?

I'm actually a little foggy
on the details.

I was in the driveway. I was
dating a car ghost at the time.

She left me for roast beef.

That's right. Talk about town
is that you're unlucky in love.

But... [tongue clicks]
How can that be?

Witty, great hair.

A girl could do worse.

I don't know, uh, maybe I just

haven't met the right girl yet.

Or maybe the right girl's
actually been here all along.

Or at least,
since 10:00 this morning.

[laughs softly]
TREVOR:Oh, hey.

I'm Trevor.

This is my
room. Got a TV.

And I can press the buttons.
No big deal.

I'm sorry, where are your pants?

I gave them to a protégé.

It was sort of

a hero move.
Tell me about it.

With twigs like those,

you might be the bravest
man I've ever met.

What the hell?

Oh, she burned you.

Hey.

I was tug-of-war anchor
at Camp Ramah.

Well, that sounds
like an exit line to me.

Thanks for stopping by.

TREVOR:
Unbeliev...

[laughs]

Wow. You are awesome.

Well, thank you, sir.

So, how long are you in town?

I know Pete has to go home,
you know,

every few days to recharge
once he starts to disappear.

Yes, I used to have
that problem,

but the longer you roam,

the more you sort of
build up your tolerance.

You don't have
to go back as much.

Really?
Yes,

it's kind of like
when you're eight years old

and you have your first martini,
you get drunk right away.

But then, by the time you're 13,

a girl can really hold
her liquor.

So you can just stay here

for as long
as you choose, basically?

I guess that's true, yes.

Huh.

You really think
my legs are skinny?

Who are you again?

Damn it.

[exhales]

If you want the shaft of light,
I got another 15 minutes.

Actually, Thor come
because Thor have idea.

Oh, that's new.

Did someone give it to
you, or... [snickers]

Original Thor idea.
Not that unusual.

Anyway, Thor feel like
things around house

not that interesting anymore.

Maybe is time for Alberta
to host one of her

beloved concerts.

Are you asking for a classic

"Alberta Haynes:
One Night Only,"

an exhilarating night
of music and mingling?

Exactly.
Thor would love to attend.

Well, you don't have
to ask me twice.

[gasps]
I'll host one tonight.

And Thor invited?

Uh, yeah, Thor, you're invited.

Thor accept.
[exhales]

Okay. Great. I'll see you there.

[low]:
No, you won't.

What's that?

Nothing.

[low]:
Ugh, child.

PETE:
So, Sass,

it seemed like you and
Joan were hitting it off.

Yeah, she's cool,
and we have a lot in common,

and, you know,
we get along great, but...

I don't know.

I think she's incredible.
What a trailblazer.

I mean, one of the first
female screenwriters.

And the stories she has.

I mean, most of them
are about handsy guys,

but the other ones, wow.

I just don't want
to rush into anything.

Oh, I don't think anyone
could ever accuse you of that.

Because you're
a 537-year-old virgin.

TREVOR:Wait, Thor didn't
you once tell us

that you watched Sass
having sex?

That you watched him

when he was alive
and you were a ghost?

Thor lied to protect friend,

because Thor good
friend to all ghosts

in house.

Like Alberta, whose party

Thor definitely
attending tonight.

[chuckles]

PETE:Sass, Joan is
perfect for you.

She's attractive,
she's funny,

and I hate to lean on this,
but she's an option.

So what's the problem?

Did you know that she barely
ever has to go home to recharge?

She can roam for, like,
a year at a time.

Wow, I can only be
gone for three days.

That's impressive.
HETTY:
Interesting.

Maybe that's what's bothering
you about Joan, Sasappis,

that she would be able to
stick around for a long time.

What does that mean?
I'm saying, you
have a predilection

for the unavailable.

Consider your
relationship history,

thin as though it may be.

A car ghost
with wanderlust,

another woman who existed
entirely in Jay's dreams.

And then there's Shiki, who
lives on another property?

Hold on, Shiki's different.

I loved her

when I was alive.
She was available then.

And yeah, I still think
about her, and-- oh, my God,

maybe that's why I go
for unavailable ghosts.

Because deep down,
I'm still hung up on Shiki.

Well, then, if you
could get over Shiki,

maybe you would be
open to something real

with someone like Joan.

I-I mean, maybe. Yeah.

Sass, what if I were
to go talk to Shiki

and find out once and for all
if she has any interest in you?

I guess if I knew
there was no chance,

it would help me move on.

There's no chance.
She's on another property

and sort of famously
doesn't like you.

Not famously.

And we've never actually
asked her point-blank,

"Are you into Sasappis?"

Well, hopefully she says no.

I'm not trying
to be mean, I just,

I want you to be freed from
this grip that she has on you.

PETE:Well, don't worry, if we
want to secure a rejection

from a woman, I'm just
the cuckold to do it.

It's nice how he's embracing it.

So, I guess what I'm trying to
do is find out once and for all,

do you have any interest
in Sasappis?

You know, romantically?
And I'm supposed

to ignore the fact
that I can never see him

and we're bound
to separate properties?

Yep, setting that aside.

If I can be totally honest,

I'm not interested in Sasappis.

Okay, well,
thank you for your time.

Uh, nothing against
Sass, I just...

want a guy
who puts himself out there.

Understood. Honestly, I think
it's for the best. [chuckles]

I will report back.

I mean, you say
that he has

this eternal crush on me, but...

when we were alive,
he never even made a move.

Well, there was the 13 hellos.

Exactly.

And the deer.

What do you mean?

Well, he killed a deer

and put it outside
your family's home?

Which I guess was
a courting ritual of the time?

That was Sasappis?

I didn't know
that was him.

That's quite the gesture.

♪ ♪

This changes everything.

Oh, no.

Oh, my God, this is huge news.
What? What is it?

Pete went to talk
to Shiki to find out

if she has any real feelings
whatsoever for Sass.

That's kind of
a desperate question.

Hard agree.

Okay, well,
what did Shiki say?

She said she likes him.

I'm confused,
it doesn't seem like

she's ever expressed interest
in him in the past.

Well, that's because she
didn't realize Sass was the one

who had left the dead deer
at her home.

Shiki didn't know
that Sass was the one

who left the dead
deer at her home.

Whoa. What if she knew that
way back when?

This is sort of tragic.

Right? And now it complicates
things with Joan.

The female
screenwriter ghost

from Hollywood's Golden Age

who's kind of taken me
under her wing.

"Under her wing"
is strong.

She's nodded politely
after Samantha pitched

a Christmas rom-com
set at the North Pole.

Cast Tiffani Amber Theissen
as a hot Mrs. Claus,

I could be into that.

JAY:
All right, well, uh,

let me know
where all this lands.

I'm gonna go give
this "softer meal" option

to the old lady staying
in the Maple Suite.

Hospitality. We don't
do it for the glamor.

Isn't this bad,
this Shiki information?

He said he wouldn't
pursue things with Joan

if he thought there was
a chance with Shiki.

I know. And he and Joan
are so cute together.

I'm a great matchmaker.

I mean, I have
complicated feelings about it,

but I did introduce
Carol and Jerry.

Poor Sass.
He deserves happiness.

And it doesn't even matter
that Shiki actually likes him.

They can literally never
be in the same room.

What if...

we simply don't tell
Sasappis the truth?

I don't know
about that...

Don't we all agree that
it would be far healthier

for him to have some closure
and be able to move on?

Well, yeah.

But lying to Sass about Shiki?

Sometimes a lie is the
far kinder way to go.

Speaking of which,
that's a lovely blouse.

TREVOR:
Hey, big guy.

I'm heading over to
Alberta's party. You coming?

No.

Okay. Why not?

Because that exactly
what Alberta expecting.

Well, yeah, wasn't the
whole party your idea?

Yes, Thor is mastermind.

But party is just one facet
in grand plan.

Okay.

Trevor, listen:

Alberta going
to be very upset

when she realize
Thor not at party.

Please take mental picture
of her agony,

and report back to Thor.
[chuckles]

Sure thing, buddy.

Mm.

And now we wait.

[chuckles]

[ragtime music playing]

I'm sorry, did you die with
alcohol on your ghost person?

Mm. That's right.

Wish I died with a cigarette,

but I'd already finished
my four packs for the day.

Tobacco was huge
in the colonies.

Isn't it great when something's
fun and good for you?

Just out of curiosity,

if you gave
another ghost a sip,

would they feel anything?

Ah, it only takes
a second or two

for it to zap
back into the bottle,

but sure,
there's a momentary buzz.

Sign me up.

Ah. Oh.

There's that sweet, sweet burn
Mama missed.

[laughs]

I mean, thank you. [chuckles]

So, Sass,
how are you doing?

Well, at first I was definitely
a little thrown to hear

that Shiki doesn't really
have any feelings for me.

Yep, but that is what
she said. Loud and clear.

But then I was
kind of like, wow,

maybe I can finally move on.

Okay. So I guess
we did the right thing.

By asking her and getting
a genuine answer

and then reporting
that answer on to you.

Are you okay, Pete?

Have you been
hitting Joan's flask?

Sass, I'm really glad
to hear it.

I mean, I'm sorry,
of course, about Shiki,

but now maybe you can see
where things go with Joan.

And maybe finally end
our long national nightmare,

aka your virginity.

Thank you, Flower.
Your support means the world.

Oh, when does the
entertainment start, right?

I mean, this party's
deader than we are.

[chuckles] Hey, Joan.

[laughing]

"Deader than we are."
That's so funny.

Hey, I made some changes to
the North Pole rom-com script

based on
your earlier thoughts.

After the man
turns into a reindeer

at the top
of the second act--

Honey, honey, listen
to me, okay? [laughs]

Just call it
Polar Opposites, okay?

And make sure
the guy gets the girl.

I mean, what are
we talking about?

This isn't
airplane science.

Polar Opposites. That's...

That's really good.

One more structural question,
if I could--

Joan, have you seen
the other side of the room?

It's sort of like this,
but Sam's not there.

Oh. Lead the
way, handsome.

Wow. Sam, that was so amazing

how you drove her
right into his arms

by pretending
to be lame and insufferable.

Thank you.

Trevor.
[exclaims]

You not report back.

Did Alberta mention me
not being at party?

It hasn't come up.

Thor. You are
at the party.

No. Thor not.

Oh, hey, Thor.

Thor not here.

Man, that lightning really
knocked something loose.

That boy ain't right.

Aw, look at Sass,
flirting up a storm.

Yeah, you go, Sass.

SAM:
He's so money and
he doesn't even know it.

Swingers?

I'm down. Pete?

How's the party, Sam?

Oh, good. Yeah.

You just
walked through Pete,

but other than that,
we've been having fun.

Uh, worth it, though, to
have my main man Jay here.

Is Sass in here?

Does he know the good news,
that Shiki likes him?

What did he say?

Uh, I think you misheard.

Misheard? You clearly
said Shiki likes Sass.

'Cause she didn't know
about the deer,

but now she does,
so she's into him.

Did you all lie to me?

Y-Yes, but it was
for your own good.

Also, Hetty told us to do it.

Peter.

What is going on?

Hey, has the new ghost
heard Beyoncé yet?

Jay, just one second.
Yes, Sass, it's true.

Shiki did say she was
interested in you.

But since you can
never be with her,

we thought it
might be kinder

to just let you think
she didn't like you.

We're sorry.

Okay, I hadn't
received that update.

Because you
didn't tell me

and I cannot see
the ghosts, Sam.

Unbelievable.

What is wrong
with you guys?!

I-- I'm so sorry, Joan.

I got to go.

Sass...

Well, that's a twist.

Sass, sorry.

Trust me, the last thing
I want to do is hurt a ghost.

[both scream]

[gasping]

Oh, that hurts.
Son of a bitch.

Where's that flask?

Hey there.
How you doing, slugger?

I'm sorry I left like that.
I just needed to clear my head.

So, this Shiki,
what's her story?

Well, I've been in love
with her for 500 years.

But she lives
at an old newspaper office.

Extra, extra,
the headlines read "heartbreak."

I'm sorry,
you were having a real moment.

I fall back on schtick
when I'm nervous.

Why are you nervous?

Well, I thought maybe

there was something
here between us,

but it appears this Shiki
is the leading lady

and I'm just some cute girl
with a flask.

Maybe my friends were right
to lie to me.

It's not like Shiki and I
can ever be together.

Mm. It appears you're
at your all-is-lost moment.

But I don't need
to tell a storyteller

that that's exactly when

everything's about
to turn around.

What do you mean?

Well, it's sort of like

my steamship comedy,
Choppy Waters.

Darla thinks all is lost
when the hero,

Frank Waters, falls overboard.

But do you know what happens
at the end of the picture?

No, what?

No idea.
Before I finished the draft,

Lucille Ball punched me
at El Coyote

and killed the project.

The point is, now is
not when you give up,

now is when you go get the girl.

Okay, but how?

Just think outside the box.

And whatever you do,
don't tell Lucille Ball

she's had too many tamales.

Huh.

Think outside the box...

[Thor clears throat]

So, how was party?

Thor not know
because Thor not there.

What are you talking
about? You were there.

We spoke.
No, no.

Thor only briefly pop in
to see people's reaction

to Thor's glaring absence.

What?

Thor revenge-bail
on you! Boom!

Revenge-bail?

Thor, what the hell is going on?

What's going on is you miss
Thor's 1,000th birthday party.

So now you suffer consequences.

Wait, you're mad at
me about some party

that took place
50 years ago?

Yes! You missed biggest party
of Thor's life.

And this hard to say,
but easier

because Thor do much work
at therapy, but...

...it hurt Thor's feelings.

Wow, big guy.

You been stewing
on this for decades.

I had no idea.

Is this why you always
make fun of my hat?

No. That unrelated
fashion opinion.

But tell me,

why you skip Thor's party?

Well, the truth is,
I was a young ghost.

I was still getting used to
this crazy situation we're in.

And going to
a 1,000-year birthday party?

It just felt like
a difficult reminder

that I could be stuck here
for a very long time.

So I bailed.

I'm sorry, Thor.

1,000 years is long time, but...

it better with friends.

Very true.

You know what? I have an idea.

Thor has those, too, sometimes.

[laughing]:
Look at us, much in common.

How about you and me
go on a friend date,

just the two of us.

You can meet me
at the fountain later,

and tell me about everything
I missed at your birthday party.

Thor like.

And you can tell me everything
I missed at your party.

But, again, you
were at my party.

Only briefly.

So, round down
to "not at party."

All right, you win
this one, big guy.

Yes! Thor win.

In Alberta's face.

But also excited for fountain
friendship hang later on.

[chuckles]

Sass, we just wanted to say
again how sorry we are.

We were trying to help,
but it wasn't right.

And again, no one
brought me up to speed

and I can't see
or hear ghosts.

Moving forward, I will try not
to enter a room while talking.

The thing is, we just
want you to be happy.

Look, everyone, it was
messed up, what you did,

but I get why
you did it.

And it's all going to be okay.

Because I am going
to get to Shiki.

What are you
talking about?

Joan gave me
a little bit of inspiration.

Oh, I just gave him the setup.
Sass had the payoff.

We just need to think
outside the box.

Or rather,
inside the box.

And the box
I'm talking about

is the ghost trap.

Whoa.
Is that possible?
Will that work?

Huh. Jay, Sass thinks that
he could use the ghost trap

to get to Shiki.

Interesting.

Because the ghosts
can't cross the boundary.

Well--Shut up, Peter.

But once inside the trap,

maybe that overrides
the boundary somehow.

So it's settled.

I'm going to try to cross
the boundary in the ghost trap.

Will it work? I don't know.

Could things go wrong?
They could.

Does this man desperately
need to get some?

He does.

Talk about a cliffhanger.

You're gonna love
it out there.

I swear to God, Peter.

[Thor groans]

Okay, Sam said I'm supposed
to come out here

and give Thor a
message from Alberta.

"You don't revenge
bail on me."

That's the message.

Alberta!

I don't totally understand
the context.

Again, I feel like I'm operating

with sort of
incomplete information.

THOR:
This is not over.

The battle of wits
rages on.

Anyway, I'm going
to go watch some basketball.

[chuckles]

Ah.