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1
00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:06,435
Mom?
2
00:00:06,436 --> 00:00:08,274
- Hmm?
- A guy had to cut off his penis
3
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:09,930
because he got his
dick stuck in a jar.
4
00:00:09,931 --> 00:00:11,332
Don't tell me that.
5
00:00:11,333 --> 00:00:12,500
He was 50 years old.
6
00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:14,269
Why?
7
00:00:14,270 --> 00:00:15,670
Mom.
8
00:00:15,671 --> 00:00:17,305
Come on.
9
00:00:17,306 --> 00:00:19,607
Well... did he die?
10
00:00:19,608 --> 00:00:21,276
I don't know.
11
00:00:21,277 --> 00:00:23,278
- Ugh.
- MAX: Mom?
12
00:00:23,279 --> 00:00:25,446
Remember I told you
Paisley's dating this,
13
00:00:25,447 --> 00:00:26,847
like, 70-year-old guy?
14
00:00:26,848 --> 00:00:28,449
- Yeah?
- Well,
15
00:00:28,450 --> 00:00:30,117
he won't have sex with
her until she's...
16
00:00:30,118 --> 00:00:32,019
Oh, thank God!
17
00:00:32,020 --> 00:00:34,655
Mom, you didn't let me finish.
18
00:00:34,656 --> 00:00:36,457
Oh.
19
00:00:36,458 --> 00:00:40,628
He won't have sex with
her until she turns 21?
20
00:00:40,629 --> 00:00:43,631
She asked hopefully
in a very high voice.
21
00:00:43,632 --> 00:00:46,000
No he won't have sex with
her unless she's, like,
22
00:00:46,001 --> 00:00:48,703
completely shaved, like, completely.
23
00:00:48,704 --> 00:00:51,806
Max, do you mind? Duke
is sitting right there.
24
00:00:51,807 --> 00:00:53,641
What? I can know about it.
25
00:00:53,642 --> 00:00:55,310
- It's fine.
- PHYLLIS: Allô.
26
00:00:55,311 --> 00:00:56,477
C'est moi.
27
00:00:56,478 --> 00:00:58,679
(exhales)
28
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,999
("Jeopardy" theme playing)
29
00:01:18,183 --> 00:01:20,185
(machine whirring)
30
00:01:27,059 --> 00:01:28,543
MAN (on TV): A Certain Age, $800.
31
00:01:28,544 --> 00:01:30,845
ALEX TREBEK: A common Jewish surname.
32
00:01:30,846 --> 00:01:32,213
It's German for "black."
33
00:01:32,214 --> 00:01:33,514
- What is Schwartz?!
- Schvartze!
34
00:01:33,515 --> 00:01:34,749
- MAN: Schwartz.
- TREBEK: Correct.
35
00:01:34,750 --> 00:01:37,017
- Jesus.
- WOMAN: All In The Family, 2,000.
36
00:01:37,018 --> 00:01:39,354
TREBEK: In the King James
Bible, these three words
37
00:01:39,355 --> 00:01:41,055
starting with a relative,
38
00:01:41,056 --> 00:01:43,358
precede "for they know
not what they do."
39
00:01:43,359 --> 00:01:45,484
- What is "Father forgive them?"
- "Father forgive them!"
40
00:01:45,485 --> 00:01:46,842
WOMAN: What is "Father, forgive them?"
41
00:01:46,843 --> 00:01:47,856
TREBEK: Right.
42
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,598
WOMAN: Magic and sorcery
in the Bible for eight.
43
00:01:49,599 --> 00:01:52,733
TREBEK: This Babylonian king had
his own group of magicians,
44
00:01:52,734 --> 00:01:55,870
but it was Daniel who
interpreted his dreams.
45
00:01:55,871 --> 00:01:57,905
- Who is Nebuchadnezzar?
- Nebuchadnezzar.
46
00:01:57,906 --> 00:02:00,275
- TREBEK: Yes.
- Good. We both won.
47
00:02:00,276 --> 00:02:02,209
No, you didn't win, because you didn't
48
00:02:02,210 --> 00:02:03,711
put it in the form of a question.
49
00:02:03,712 --> 00:02:05,431
(scoffs)
50
00:02:10,803 --> 00:02:13,254
- Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
51
00:02:13,255 --> 00:02:14,755
Is it good?
52
00:02:14,756 --> 00:02:17,292
- Yeah.
- So, these boys asked me
53
00:02:17,293 --> 00:02:18,626
to do a photo shoot for like,
54
00:02:18,627 --> 00:02:20,395
- their rehab group or...
- SAM: Mm-hmm.
55
00:02:20,396 --> 00:02:21,462
Some kind of bullshit,
56
00:02:21,463 --> 00:02:23,375
and, um, they asked me to invite
57
00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:25,132
my girlfriends, and it turns out
58
00:02:25,133 --> 00:02:28,107
they were just trying to get me
to take naked pictures of them.
59
00:02:28,654 --> 00:02:31,238
And they thought because I was
shooting it, it would be okay.
60
00:02:31,239 --> 00:02:32,955
The fuck?
61
00:02:32,956 --> 00:02:34,074
MAX: So stupid.
62
00:02:34,075 --> 00:02:36,076
Well, boys will be boys.
63
00:02:36,077 --> 00:02:38,613
They certainly know how
to take any advantage
64
00:02:38,614 --> 00:02:40,410
to gawp at young girls' bosoms.
65
00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:42,082
It's so childish.
66
00:02:42,083 --> 00:02:43,451
(laughs)
67
00:02:43,452 --> 00:02:45,338
Why did you leave my dad?
68
00:02:47,705 --> 00:02:48,888
What?
69
00:02:48,889 --> 00:02:50,157
Frankie, shut up.
70
00:02:50,158 --> 00:02:51,826
No. (scoffs)
71
00:02:51,827 --> 00:02:53,346
Why did you leave my dad?
72
00:02:57,608 --> 00:03:00,081
Frankie, that was a long time ago.
73
00:03:00,082 --> 00:03:02,102
Well, yeah, but you never told us.
74
00:03:02,103 --> 00:03:03,771
You-you never told us. You...
75
00:03:03,772 --> 00:03:06,307
you sat us down and gave
us that bullshit talk
76
00:03:06,308 --> 00:03:08,309
and then we all went to the movies.
77
00:03:08,310 --> 00:03:10,055
But you never told us why.
78
00:03:13,219 --> 00:03:14,465
MAX: It's true, Mom.
79
00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:16,259
You never told us.
80
00:03:23,542 --> 00:03:25,526
Did your father say something to you
81
00:03:25,527 --> 00:03:27,294
when you saw him on Tuesday?
82
00:03:27,295 --> 00:03:30,331
This is not about what
my father said to me.
83
00:03:30,332 --> 00:03:32,651
This is about what you
haven't said to me.
84
00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:37,058
Why did you leave my dad?
85
00:03:41,026 --> 00:03:42,309
(sighs)
86
00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:43,529
(fart)
87
00:03:45,498 --> 00:03:47,650
Oh, I beg your pardon.
88
00:03:47,651 --> 00:03:50,184
I've made a pong. Uh-oh.
89
00:03:50,185 --> 00:03:51,318
(laughing)
90
00:03:51,319 --> 00:03:52,487
(laughing): Oh.
91
00:03:52,488 --> 00:03:53,821
(stifled laugh)
92
00:03:53,822 --> 00:03:55,656
- (chuckling)
- Gran.
93
00:03:55,657 --> 00:03:59,026
- (laughing)
- Oh, okay. Gross.
94
00:03:59,027 --> 00:04:01,680
- (all laughing)
- PHYLLIS: Goodness me.
95
00:04:08,754 --> 00:04:10,523
(chuckles)
96
00:04:12,524 --> 00:04:13,608
Thanks, Mom.
97
00:04:14,209 --> 00:04:15,401
No problem.
98
00:04:16,681 --> 00:04:24,277
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
99
00:04:26,371 --> 00:04:27,606
Okay.
100
00:04:29,608 --> 00:04:31,133
Yeah.
101
00:04:32,133 --> 00:04:34,595
No, I'm not okay, but...
102
00:04:34,596 --> 00:04:36,048
(crying): Bye.
103
00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:38,933
I don't know what you want me to say.
104
00:04:38,934 --> 00:04:40,586
(sniffles)
105
00:04:45,010 --> 00:04:48,042
♪ I'm the fattest person in the land ♪
106
00:04:48,043 --> 00:04:52,447
♪ I'm the fatty patty patty man. ♪
107
00:04:52,448 --> 00:04:53,881
(chuckles, sniffles)
108
00:04:53,882 --> 00:04:55,883
(clears throat)
109
00:04:55,884 --> 00:04:58,218
Hi. How are you?
110
00:04:58,219 --> 00:05:00,906
- How you doing?
- I'm okay.
111
00:05:03,442 --> 00:05:05,059
What's wrong?
112
00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:06,445
Why you cry?
113
00:05:08,481 --> 00:05:09,645
Doesn't matter.
114
00:05:10,232 --> 00:05:11,632
I just...
115
00:05:11,633 --> 00:05:13,251
Bleh. (chuckles)
116
00:05:14,953 --> 00:05:16,471
What were you doing today?
117
00:05:16,472 --> 00:05:18,639
Hmm.
118
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:21,776
Well, I have therapy.
119
00:05:21,777 --> 00:05:22,935
Yep.
120
00:05:22,936 --> 00:05:24,645
Yep, I do.
121
00:05:24,646 --> 00:05:27,423
I have doctor medical prescribed
122
00:05:27,424 --> 00:05:29,001
mental therapy.
123
00:05:30,507 --> 00:05:32,587
Good, Mom. You need it.
124
00:05:32,588 --> 00:05:34,539
Oh, thank you so much.
125
00:05:35,424 --> 00:05:37,425
What are you gonna do today?
126
00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:40,328
I... don't know.
127
00:05:40,895 --> 00:05:42,997
I'm supposed to see a show tonight.
128
00:05:42,998 --> 00:05:44,298
I'm shooting a band.
129
00:05:44,846 --> 00:05:46,165
Cool.
130
00:05:48,353 --> 00:05:51,599
- Can I borrow your boots?
- Nope. Absolutely not.
131
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:52,673
- Mom!
- No, you can't.
132
00:05:52,674 --> 00:05:54,975
Mom, they're just gonna
stay in your closet.
133
00:05:54,976 --> 00:05:56,634
Please, please, can I borrow the boots?
134
00:05:56,635 --> 00:05:57,678
Nope. No.
135
00:05:57,679 --> 00:05:59,865
No, you can't, honey.
136
00:06:03,035 --> 00:06:04,785
(Max sobs)
137
00:06:04,786 --> 00:06:06,612
What's wrong?
138
00:06:09,642 --> 00:06:11,476
My boyfriend broke up with me.
139
00:06:12,461 --> 00:06:14,212
- (sniffling)
- Oh.
140
00:06:15,687 --> 00:06:17,498
Which one?
141
00:06:17,499 --> 00:06:20,668
Um, the black ones with the roses.
142
00:06:20,669 --> 00:06:22,555
No, I meant which boyfriend.
143
00:06:24,022 --> 00:06:25,472
(laughs)
144
00:06:25,473 --> 00:06:27,876
(laughing): Okay, that's
really funny, Mom.
145
00:06:28,685 --> 00:06:31,045
Now I feel bad about myself again.
146
00:06:31,046 --> 00:06:33,065
(sighs)
147
00:06:34,166 --> 00:06:36,817
(groans)
148
00:06:36,818 --> 00:06:40,038
Come on. Come on.
149
00:06:49,414 --> 00:06:52,232
(Sam exhales, grunts)
150
00:06:52,233 --> 00:06:54,519
(safe beeps)
151
00:06:55,554 --> 00:06:56,871
Turn around.
152
00:06:56,872 --> 00:06:58,873
Turn around, turn away.
153
00:06:58,874 --> 00:07:00,675
- Turn away.
- Why do you have that?
154
00:07:00,676 --> 00:07:03,177
It's so weird you keep your
fucking boots in a safe.
155
00:07:03,178 --> 00:07:04,597
(beeping, lock clicks)
156
00:07:06,699 --> 00:07:08,916
Oh, what about those?
Can I have those?
157
00:07:08,917 --> 00:07:10,918
No! No, no, no, no.
158
00:07:10,919 --> 00:07:13,187
You absolutely can't, no. No, honey.
159
00:07:13,188 --> 00:07:14,722
You know why?
160
00:07:14,723 --> 00:07:17,391
My grandmother left
me a gold bracelet,
161
00:07:17,392 --> 00:07:20,728
I had a rare book and a ruby ring,
162
00:07:20,729 --> 00:07:23,030
and you know what? They're all gone.
163
00:07:23,031 --> 00:07:24,264
They're all gone.
164
00:07:24,265 --> 00:07:25,700
You guys just take it.
165
00:07:25,701 --> 00:07:28,220
You take away things. So...
166
00:07:30,222 --> 00:07:33,240
Go ahead. Take these boots.
167
00:07:33,241 --> 00:07:34,909
I'm never gonna see 'em again.
168
00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:38,779
But I am keeping these boots.
169
00:07:38,780 --> 00:07:40,599
And my safe.
170
00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:44,856
You're welcome.
171
00:07:46,605 --> 00:07:49,223
Can we go out? Can we get tacos?
172
00:07:49,224 --> 00:07:51,558
Didn't you hear what I
was singing before?
173
00:07:51,559 --> 00:07:55,095
I'm the fatty, patty,
patty, patty, fatty man.
174
00:07:55,096 --> 00:07:57,598
- (chuckles)
- Duh. Yes.
175
00:07:57,599 --> 00:07:59,771
- Okay.
- Tacos.
176
00:08:08,715 --> 00:08:10,866
Seriously? I could...
177
00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:12,334
- climb over the...
- (intercom beeps)
178
00:08:12,335 --> 00:08:14,003
(buzzing)
179
00:08:14,004 --> 00:08:15,755
Okay.
180
00:08:28,068 --> 00:08:31,086
Well, this kind of stress
at home is very common.
181
00:08:31,087 --> 00:08:33,355
Oh, really? Is it? Is this common?
182
00:08:33,356 --> 00:08:36,525
Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber,
183
00:08:36,526 --> 00:08:39,428
Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber,
Uber, Lyft, Lyft,
184
00:08:39,429 --> 00:08:41,230
Postmates, Venmo,
185
00:08:41,231 --> 00:08:43,432
Spotify, Instafollow,
186
00:08:43,433 --> 00:08:45,434
Lyft, Uber, Uber, Uber,
187
00:08:45,435 --> 00:08:47,536
Uber, Uber, Lyft,
188
00:08:47,537 --> 00:08:50,272
Postmates, Postmates, Editing Bunny.
189
00:08:50,273 --> 00:08:53,575
I don't know... why
this makes me so angry.
190
00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:55,044
(scoffs)
191
00:08:55,045 --> 00:08:56,878
I know they have to get places
192
00:08:56,879 --> 00:08:58,880
and I can't be everywhere.
193
00:08:58,881 --> 00:09:01,383
I just... I-I...
194
00:09:01,384 --> 00:09:02,884
It... When I see it
195
00:09:02,885 --> 00:09:05,754
in this big, giant, pile
196
00:09:05,755 --> 00:09:08,423
of turd money bullshit...
197
00:09:08,424 --> 00:09:10,559
I need somebody to weigh in.
198
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:14,396
Like, is this okay? Is this
how people are doing it?
199
00:09:14,397 --> 00:09:16,731
Or am I completely
screwing everything up?
200
00:09:16,732 --> 00:09:17,753
Yes.
201
00:09:18,735 --> 00:09:20,735
"There are no strangers here,
202
00:09:20,736 --> 00:09:22,755
only friends we have not met."
203
00:09:24,257 --> 00:09:26,075
♪ Fried ham, fried ham ♪
204
00:09:26,076 --> 00:09:28,643
♪ Cheese and bologna,
after the macaroni ♪
205
00:09:28,644 --> 00:09:30,412
♪ We'll have... ♪
206
00:09:30,413 --> 00:09:33,157
♪ Pickles, onions, and pretzels ♪
207
00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:35,969
♪ Then we'll have some more
fried ham, fried ham. ♪
208
00:09:39,087 --> 00:09:41,887
♪ I'm gonna pack my
bags and turn around ♪
209
00:09:41,888 --> 00:09:44,759
♪ I'm gonna turn this
camp right upside down ♪
210
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,496
♪ I'm gonna drink and
smoke and neck and peck ♪
211
00:09:47,497 --> 00:09:49,764
♪ So what the heck,
to hell with the... ♪
212
00:09:49,765 --> 00:09:51,433
(chuckles)
213
00:09:51,434 --> 00:09:53,635
I guess it really has been that long.
214
00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:55,804
- ♪ To hell with the Ca... ♪
- ♪ Camp ♪
215
00:09:55,805 --> 00:09:58,773
- ♪ Camp Teak girls ♪
- ♪ Camp Teak boys ♪
216
00:09:58,774 --> 00:09:59,975
- ♪ Camp Teak girls ♪
- ♪ Camp Teak boys ♪
217
00:09:59,976 --> 00:10:02,811
- ♪ Wear boxers ♪
- ♪ Are fairies ♪
218
00:10:02,812 --> 00:10:05,314
(chuckles)
219
00:10:05,315 --> 00:10:08,183
- Hoh...
- Yeah, you see that?
220
00:10:08,184 --> 00:10:10,803
I knew I wasn't that
forgettable. (chuckles)
221
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:14,534
Blowing your mind a little bit?
222
00:10:16,043 --> 00:10:17,526
A little bit.
223
00:10:17,527 --> 00:10:18,701
Yeah.
224
00:10:20,055 --> 00:10:21,214
Hi.
225
00:10:29,822 --> 00:10:32,507
♪ Why make believe... ♪
226
00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:34,043
Little Deezy Miller.
227
00:10:34,044 --> 00:10:36,811
And now Dr. Little Deezy Miller.
228
00:10:36,812 --> 00:10:39,181
But I'll take David
from my old camp buddy.
229
00:10:39,182 --> 00:10:40,974
Oh. Okay.
230
00:10:42,669 --> 00:10:44,572
What? We weren't buddies?
231
00:10:44,573 --> 00:10:46,355
Oh, no, I don't know.
232
00:10:46,356 --> 00:10:48,823
I mean, is that what
you call every girl
233
00:10:48,824 --> 00:10:50,659
you went behind the infirmary with?
234
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,196
You are every girl I went
behind the infirmary with.
235
00:10:54,197 --> 00:10:55,397
(chuckles)
236
00:10:55,398 --> 00:10:58,500
♪ They tell me it's only ♪
237
00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:00,335
♪ Make-believe... ♪
238
00:11:00,336 --> 00:11:02,422
(grunts)
239
00:11:05,192 --> 00:11:07,176
I was red team. 60s?
240
00:11:07,177 --> 00:11:10,045
Oh, God, that's right. Yeah,
and you wore that, uh,
241
00:11:10,046 --> 00:11:12,414
Led Zeppelin shirt with
the sleeves cut off
242
00:11:12,415 --> 00:11:14,249
- for that whole week.
- (chuckles)
243
00:11:14,250 --> 00:11:16,433
You were so cute. God, you killed me.
244
00:11:16,434 --> 00:11:19,888
♪ That you adore... ♪
245
00:11:19,889 --> 00:11:23,024
So...
246
00:11:23,025 --> 00:11:25,026
still got that shirt?
247
00:11:25,027 --> 00:11:28,197
♪ Darling, I find ♪
248
00:11:28,198 --> 00:11:30,065
♪ I'm getting worried... ♪
249
00:11:30,066 --> 00:11:32,085
Yes!
250
00:11:32,752 --> 00:11:34,254
(grunts)
251
00:11:41,261 --> 00:11:43,245
What happened?
252
00:11:43,246 --> 00:11:46,381
You've been playing in the
street again is what happened.
253
00:11:46,382 --> 00:11:49,284
No, I... I wasn't, I...
254
00:11:49,285 --> 00:11:51,052
(scoffs) If your mother finds out
255
00:11:51,053 --> 00:11:52,454
you've been playing
in the street again,
256
00:11:52,455 --> 00:11:54,390
you're gonna be in a lot of trouble.
257
00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:56,725
I don't feel good.
258
00:11:56,726 --> 00:11:59,094
All right. Come on. You're fine.
259
00:11:59,095 --> 00:12:00,929
Just a little shaken up.
260
00:12:00,930 --> 00:12:02,482
How many fingers?
261
00:12:03,483 --> 00:12:04,899
Three.
262
00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:07,236
Good girl. All right.
263
00:12:07,237 --> 00:12:09,104
Need a little lie down is all.
264
00:12:09,105 --> 00:12:12,641
Now, get yourself back
in and get cleaned up
265
00:12:12,642 --> 00:12:14,433
before your mother catches you.
266
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,745
Okay. Wait, where's my skateboard?
267
00:12:16,746 --> 00:12:18,265
Go.
268
00:12:41,222 --> 00:12:43,122
We should probably talk
about you at some point.
269
00:12:43,123 --> 00:12:45,457
Mm-hmm. Sure. Yeah.
270
00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:49,128
Or, I don't know, you could
maybe just give me the drugs.
271
00:12:49,129 --> 00:12:52,042
Dr. Babu said that you would
try to shake me down.
272
00:12:52,503 --> 00:12:53,866
But so far all I know is either
273
00:12:53,867 --> 00:12:56,035
somebody stole your credit card
274
00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:58,638
or, um, you have a teenager at home.
275
00:12:58,639 --> 00:13:01,040
Two, and a younger.
276
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,508
And you think that
they're contributing
277
00:13:02,509 --> 00:13:04,143
to your sleep issues?
278
00:13:04,144 --> 00:13:08,314
(scoffs) No. No. They
don't keep me up anymore.
279
00:13:08,315 --> 00:13:10,946
I don't even fall asleep,
I just pass out.
280
00:13:11,929 --> 00:13:13,131
All right.
281
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,057
Ugh.
282
00:13:19,004 --> 00:13:20,177
Ugh!
283
00:13:21,511 --> 00:13:23,050
(groans)
284
00:13:24,410 --> 00:13:25,998
I keep...
285
00:13:25,999 --> 00:13:29,669
(muffled): I keep having these
dreams that I'm constantly
286
00:13:29,670 --> 00:13:32,572
getting sexed on by my ex,
287
00:13:32,573 --> 00:13:35,507
and it's happening very frequently,
288
00:13:35,508 --> 00:13:37,293
meaning every single night.
289
00:13:38,178 --> 00:13:39,845
How long since the divorce?
290
00:13:39,846 --> 00:13:43,048
Uh, it's been, like, four
or five hundred years.
291
00:13:43,049 --> 00:13:45,268
So was it an amicable split?
292
00:13:46,369 --> 00:13:47,920
Um... jeesh,
293
00:13:47,921 --> 00:13:49,480
I don't want to...
294
00:13:49,481 --> 00:13:50,923
I don't...
295
00:13:50,924 --> 00:13:53,525
Well, we don't have to
get into that right now.
296
00:13:53,526 --> 00:13:57,268
But I will say that even after
a contentious relationship,
297
00:13:57,269 --> 00:13:59,398
there can be residual feelings
298
00:13:59,399 --> 00:14:01,499
- No. No. No. No.
- That have to be dealt with.
299
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,703
- Otherwise they can continue to fester.
- Nope.
300
00:14:03,704 --> 00:14:06,538
- Beneath the surface.
- No. Nope. Wrong. Wrong.
301
00:14:06,539 --> 00:14:08,558
Sorry, that's stupid.
302
00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:12,945
If your ex-husband was here right now,
303
00:14:12,946 --> 00:14:14,330
what would you say to him?
304
00:14:15,314 --> 00:14:18,234
Why didn't you drown in a
puddle of diarrhea yet?
305
00:14:28,477 --> 00:14:29,795
Hello, Sam.
306
00:14:29,796 --> 00:14:32,664
(groans)
307
00:14:32,665 --> 00:14:33,899
Hello.
308
00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:35,067
Be stiffer.
309
00:14:35,068 --> 00:14:36,902
More stiff and awkward,
310
00:14:36,903 --> 00:14:38,642
yet charming.
311
00:14:38,643 --> 00:14:40,239
More stiff and awkward than that?
312
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:41,324
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
313
00:14:43,093 --> 00:14:44,427
Hello, Sam.
314
00:14:45,428 --> 00:14:47,130
Yeah, hi.
315
00:14:48,165 --> 00:14:49,448
What happened?
316
00:14:49,449 --> 00:14:52,084
- Why did you summon me?
- Um...
317
00:14:52,085 --> 00:14:53,485
because I've been having dreams,
318
00:14:53,486 --> 00:14:56,487
and they're fairly disturbing to me.
319
00:14:56,488 --> 00:14:58,457
What happens in the dreams?
320
00:14:58,458 --> 00:14:59,892
(sighs)
321
00:14:59,893 --> 00:15:01,661
I don't want to talk about it.
322
00:15:01,662 --> 00:15:03,428
Well, maybe you better talk about it.
323
00:15:03,429 --> 00:15:04,964
I mean, you called me.
324
00:15:04,965 --> 00:15:07,933
I've been having dreams
that we're fucking.
325
00:15:07,934 --> 00:15:09,787
Sex dreams things.
326
00:15:11,134 --> 00:15:12,437
Oh, gosh.
327
00:15:12,438 --> 00:15:14,339
SAM: (groans)
328
00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:16,308
This makes me very, very,
329
00:15:16,309 --> 00:15:18,644
very, very uncomfortable.
330
00:15:18,645 --> 00:15:20,130
(sighs)
331
00:15:21,447 --> 00:15:22,848
I'm not attracted to you.
332
00:15:22,849 --> 00:15:24,668
I'm not attracted to you either.
333
00:15:26,169 --> 00:15:28,651
But do you remember the thing that...
334
00:15:29,644 --> 00:15:32,099
we used to do, we did?
335
00:15:32,886 --> 00:15:33,926
Jesus.
336
00:15:34,439 --> 00:15:36,796
Yeah, of course. I remember, yeah.
337
00:15:36,797 --> 00:15:38,789
- Do you?
- I remember.
338
00:15:39,649 --> 00:15:41,801
I don't think that it's a good idea
339
00:15:41,802 --> 00:15:43,969
- that we do this.
- Same.
340
00:15:43,970 --> 00:15:45,780
But just for the record...
341
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:48,783
I'll do it if you want to.
342
00:15:54,697 --> 00:15:56,681
I don't have that outfit anymore.
343
00:15:56,682 --> 00:15:58,001
You have the boots?
344
00:15:59,369 --> 00:16:01,153
Yes, I have the boots.
345
00:16:01,154 --> 00:16:03,573
- Do you have the underwear?
- Shut up.
346
00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:07,344
Yes.
347
00:16:09,579 --> 00:16:11,452
I'm fully erect right now.
348
00:16:11,453 --> 00:16:14,064
Ugh. I'm sick to my stomach.
349
00:16:14,065 --> 00:16:16,659
Well, you were always that
way before we did that.
350
00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:19,648
This is bad. I know that this is bad.
351
00:16:19,649 --> 00:16:21,981
You know, and also, I'm
offended a little bit.
352
00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:23,075
I resent you
353
00:16:23,076 --> 00:16:25,244
for pulling us into this
moment, because we both know
354
00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:26,879
that you're the one that's in control.
355
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:28,499
- It's not fair, Sam.
- I don't care,
356
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,382
you can hang up any time.
357
00:16:30,383 --> 00:16:32,051
I'm going back to my hotel.
358
00:16:32,052 --> 00:16:34,519
If you want, you can go
home, get the boots,
359
00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,021
get that underwear.
360
00:16:36,022 --> 00:16:38,190
My flight leaves tomorrow at 7:00 a.m.
361
00:16:38,191 --> 00:16:40,692
And I don't know how I'll
feel or even what I'll do
362
00:16:40,693 --> 00:16:42,545
- if you come over, but...
- (sighs)
363
00:16:44,714 --> 00:16:46,716
(toilet flushes)
364
00:16:57,227 --> 00:16:59,211
MAN (on TV): Elevators ain't running.
365
00:16:59,212 --> 00:17:00,712
Come on.
366
00:17:00,713 --> 00:17:02,381
Shouldn't be getting out of bed, Miss.
367
00:17:02,382 --> 00:17:04,049
Has he been here? Have you seen him?
368
00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:05,717
MAN: I ain't seen him for a week.
369
00:17:05,718 --> 00:17:06,886
WOMAN: Where's Cornell?
370
00:17:06,887 --> 00:17:08,220
MAN: He's watching the other door.
371
00:17:08,221 --> 00:17:11,408
WOMAN: Oh, you're swell. Oh...
372
00:17:12,910 --> 00:17:14,244
(running footsteps on TV)
373
00:17:16,146 --> 00:17:18,230
MAN: Now, that's crazy...
it's 14 floors.
374
00:17:18,231 --> 00:17:21,251
I... I just got hit by a car.
375
00:17:22,585 --> 00:17:25,488
Oh. Is that what that noise was?
376
00:17:26,957 --> 00:17:28,574
I think I'm in trouble.
377
00:17:29,336 --> 00:17:32,495
Mm-hmm. Maybe.
378
00:17:38,268 --> 00:17:40,938
And I can't tell Mom, but...
379
00:17:42,472 --> 00:17:44,274
...I think I'm really hurt.
380
00:17:45,275 --> 00:17:46,844
What?
381
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,807
Did you-did you hit your head?
382
00:17:51,808 --> 00:17:53,498
No.
383
00:17:53,499 --> 00:17:56,286
Well, does it hurt? Are
you-are you bleeding?
384
00:17:57,387 --> 00:17:58,888
Well, where?
385
00:18:00,657 --> 00:18:02,341
I don't see any blood.
386
00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:03,434
Duke.
387
00:18:04,845 --> 00:18:06,253
Maybe it's...
388
00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:09,332
someplace else.
389
00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:13,170
Someplace else? What...
w-what do you mean?
390
00:18:22,045 --> 00:18:23,135
Oh.
391
00:18:24,298 --> 00:18:25,548
Um...
392
00:18:27,108 --> 00:18:28,133
Okay.
393
00:18:28,134 --> 00:18:29,801
No, no, no, no, no,
hey. Hey, hey, hey.
394
00:18:29,802 --> 00:18:31,971
It's okay, you're okay. Um,
395
00:18:31,972 --> 00:18:33,853
why don't we just...
we'll go upstairs, okay?
396
00:18:33,854 --> 00:18:35,861
I have something you
need up there. Yeah?
397
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:38,810
MAN (on TV): No sense
in going up there...
398
00:18:38,811 --> 00:18:40,312
I've been here for
hours. He ain't here.
399
00:18:40,313 --> 00:18:41,899
WOMAN: Let me go, would you?
400
00:18:53,282 --> 00:18:54,969
I want to call Max.
401
00:19:01,497 --> 00:19:05,349
♪ My nightmares have come alive ♪
402
00:19:05,350 --> 00:19:09,287
♪ They're eating me from the inside ♪
403
00:19:09,288 --> 00:19:12,856
♪ When you go ♪
404
00:19:12,857 --> 00:19:15,977
♪ Leave on the light ♪
405
00:19:18,214 --> 00:19:20,631
♪ Oh, my God ♪
406
00:19:20,632 --> 00:19:23,033
♪ I've got the fear ♪
407
00:19:23,034 --> 00:19:25,969
♪ I cannot escape here... ♪
408
00:19:25,970 --> 00:19:28,306
- Keep it close.
- Mm-hmm.
409
00:19:28,307 --> 00:19:31,309
♪ Wake me up, wake me up ♪
410
00:19:31,310 --> 00:19:33,161
♪ Oh, please... ♪
411
00:19:39,701 --> 00:19:41,819
- (music stops)
- (retching)
412
00:19:41,820 --> 00:19:43,888
(knocking on door)
413
00:19:44,582 --> 00:19:45,725
Hello, Mom.
414
00:19:47,376 --> 00:19:49,827
Well, don't linger there
like a huckster. Come in.
415
00:19:49,828 --> 00:19:54,365
♪ Did you ever really ♪
416
00:19:54,366 --> 00:19:56,385
♪ Love me... ♪
417
00:19:59,888 --> 00:20:02,506
MARION: Is everything okay?
418
00:20:02,507 --> 00:20:05,594
♪ Really care? ♪
419
00:20:09,396 --> 00:20:11,682
You called me to come over here, Phil?
420
00:20:11,683 --> 00:20:14,184
♪ Really miss me ♪
421
00:20:14,185 --> 00:20:16,520
♪ Kiss me ♪
422
00:20:16,521 --> 00:20:18,389
♪ I wonder ♪
423
00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:20,524
♪ If your heart was ever there... ♪
424
00:20:20,525 --> 00:20:22,544
(groaning)
425
00:20:26,114 --> 00:20:28,636
My car keys.
426
00:20:28,637 --> 00:20:30,701
I've decided it's time.
427
00:20:30,702 --> 00:20:32,880
And I don't want to
talk about it. Ever.
428
00:20:33,558 --> 00:20:35,076
- Do you understand?
- Yes.
429
00:20:36,190 --> 00:20:38,359
I do have conditions, however.
430
00:20:39,962 --> 00:20:42,678
I want unlimited Ubers for life
431
00:20:42,679 --> 00:20:44,540
and a black American Express card.
432
00:20:46,316 --> 00:20:48,252
Is there anything else, or...
433
00:20:48,253 --> 00:20:49,488
What?
434
00:20:50,421 --> 00:20:51,555
No, what do you mean?
435
00:20:51,556 --> 00:20:53,291
I...
436
00:20:53,292 --> 00:20:54,758
Nothing.
437
00:20:54,759 --> 00:20:56,560
You agree to the terms, then?
438
00:20:56,561 --> 00:20:59,763
Phil, yeah, we can't get a
black American Express card.
439
00:20:59,764 --> 00:21:01,352
Well, Ubers, then.
440
00:21:02,401 --> 00:21:05,235
And I want the service...
The one that brings you
441
00:21:05,236 --> 00:21:08,123
a different flavored
popcorn every month.
442
00:21:11,493 --> 00:21:13,144
I'll look into that.
443
00:21:13,919 --> 00:21:15,055
Good.
444
00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:16,914
Okay. All right.
445
00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:19,483
Well, I'm making dinner now.
446
00:21:19,484 --> 00:21:20,784
- That's very nice.
- So you should leave.
447
00:21:20,785 --> 00:21:22,438
Huh.
448
00:21:38,932 --> 00:21:40,550
- Again.
- ♪ I can't say ♪
449
00:21:40,551 --> 00:21:43,571
♪ That I always do the right thing ♪
450
00:21:46,273 --> 00:21:49,391
♪ I'm not even sure ♪
451
00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:52,412
♪ If I know what that means ♪
452
00:21:55,248 --> 00:21:56,899
♪ I'd like to be someone ♪
453
00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:59,987
♪ Who's honest and tough ♪
454
00:22:02,089 --> 00:22:04,440
- (exhales)
- ♪ And I fear that I'm close ♪
455
00:22:04,441 --> 00:22:07,094
♪ But I'm not close enough ♪
456
00:22:10,097 --> 00:22:12,314
♪ I'd like to cry ♪
457
00:22:12,315 --> 00:22:14,301
♪ But I can't get into it ♪
458
00:22:17,638 --> 00:22:20,422
- ♪ I've thought about dying. ♪
- (grumbles): Oh, no.
459
00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:23,759
♪ I'm not sure how to do it ♪
460
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,995
(sighs)
461
00:22:25,996 --> 00:22:30,432
♪ I need love ♪
462
00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:32,820
- ♪ I need love ♪
- What...?
463
00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:37,958
♪ I need love ♪
464
00:22:39,292 --> 00:22:41,844
♪ I need love ♪
465
00:22:41,845 --> 00:22:43,531
♪ Yeah... ♪
466
00:22:44,965 --> 00:22:46,816
(song fades out)
467
00:22:46,817 --> 00:22:48,836
(exhales)
468
00:23:16,564 --> 00:23:20,315
♪
469
00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:22,335
♪ Welcome in my cabin ♪
470
00:23:24,004 --> 00:23:26,889
♪ Anytime you'd like ♪
471
00:23:26,890 --> 00:23:30,159
♪ See I'm burning up ♪
472
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:34,848
♪ All the spruce and pine ♪
473
00:23:39,352 --> 00:23:42,672
♪ And I know it's not the best ♪
474
00:23:42,673 --> 00:23:46,041
♪ For heating us ♪
475
00:23:46,042 --> 00:23:50,345
♪ I know it's not the best ♪
476
00:23:50,346 --> 00:23:53,348
♪ For healing us ♪
477
00:23:53,349 --> 00:23:57,720
♪ But it's all I have and I
share my flaws with you ♪
478
00:23:57,721 --> 00:24:01,857
♪ We ♪
479
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:04,694
♪ All ♪
480
00:24:04,695 --> 00:24:07,781
♪ Deserve ♪
481
00:24:11,251 --> 00:24:14,870
♪ You can call on God ♪
482
00:24:14,871 --> 00:24:18,608
♪ In the morning once you're sober ♪
483
00:24:18,609 --> 00:24:21,076
♪ And you can talk to me ♪
484
00:24:21,077 --> 00:24:23,731
♪ When you're all fucked up tonight ♪
485
00:24:41,782 --> 00:24:44,266
♪ But if it just ♪
486
00:24:44,267 --> 00:24:47,737
♪ Has to wait ♪
487
00:24:47,738 --> 00:24:51,641
♪ If it's something I ♪
488
00:24:51,642 --> 00:24:55,444
♪ Won't understand ♪
489
00:24:55,445 --> 00:24:57,613
♪ Well, I understand ♪
490
00:24:57,614 --> 00:25:00,267
♪ We all deserve the light ♪
491
00:25:03,103 --> 00:25:05,087
♪ I understand ♪
492
00:25:05,088 --> 00:25:08,108
♪ We all deserve the light ♪
493
00:25:22,022 --> 00:25:25,607
♪ We ♪
494
00:25:25,608 --> 00:25:30,179
♪ All ♪
495
00:25:30,180 --> 00:25:33,466
♪ Deserve. ♪
496
00:25:54,873 --> 00:25:56,197
SAM: Guys?
497
00:25:57,698 --> 00:25:59,367
Somebody?
498
00:26:00,144 --> 00:26:02,495
I need a tampon.
499
00:26:06,850 --> 00:26:09,126
I gave your last one to Duke.
500
00:26:10,670 --> 00:26:12,188
SAM: What?!
501
00:26:12,189 --> 00:26:15,991
♪ I ain't gonna cry no more, no more ♪
502
00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:19,661
♪ Ain't gonna cry no more ♪
(whooping)
503
00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:22,832
♪ I ain't gonna cry no more, no more ♪
504
00:26:22,833 --> 00:26:26,335
♪ I ain't gonna cry no more ♪
505
00:26:26,336 --> 00:26:29,404
♪ Said I'd cry for
the very last time ♪
506
00:26:29,405 --> 00:26:32,908
♪ And I ain't gonna cry no more ♪
507
00:26:32,909 --> 00:26:36,879
♪ 'Cause you finally made me see ♪
508
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:40,082
♪ That your love could never be ♪
509
00:26:40,083 --> 00:26:43,518
♪ All the heartaches
I suffered before ♪
510
00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:47,022
♪ Darling, don't you see,
I can't take no more ♪
511
00:26:47,023 --> 00:26:49,109
♪ I just want to let... ♪
34134
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