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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:06,435 Mom? 2 00:00:06,436 --> 00:00:08,274 - Hmm? - A guy had to cut off his penis 3 00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:09,930 because he got his dick stuck in a jar. 4 00:00:09,931 --> 00:00:11,332 Don't tell me that. 5 00:00:11,333 --> 00:00:12,500 He was 50 years old. 6 00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:14,269 Why? 7 00:00:14,270 --> 00:00:15,670 Mom. 8 00:00:15,671 --> 00:00:17,305 Come on. 9 00:00:17,306 --> 00:00:19,607 Well... did he die? 10 00:00:19,608 --> 00:00:21,276 I don't know. 11 00:00:21,277 --> 00:00:23,278 - Ugh. - MAX: Mom? 12 00:00:23,279 --> 00:00:25,446 Remember I told you Paisley's dating this, 13 00:00:25,447 --> 00:00:26,847 like, 70-year-old guy? 14 00:00:26,848 --> 00:00:28,449 - Yeah? - Well, 15 00:00:28,450 --> 00:00:30,117 he won't have sex with her until she's... 16 00:00:30,118 --> 00:00:32,019 Oh, thank God! 17 00:00:32,020 --> 00:00:34,655 Mom, you didn't let me finish. 18 00:00:34,656 --> 00:00:36,457 Oh. 19 00:00:36,458 --> 00:00:40,628 He won't have sex with her until she turns 21? 20 00:00:40,629 --> 00:00:43,631 She asked hopefully in a very high voice. 21 00:00:43,632 --> 00:00:46,000 No he won't have sex with her unless she's, like, 22 00:00:46,001 --> 00:00:48,703 completely shaved, like, completely. 23 00:00:48,704 --> 00:00:51,806 Max, do you mind? Duke is sitting right there. 24 00:00:51,807 --> 00:00:53,641 What? I can know about it. 25 00:00:53,642 --> 00:00:55,310 - It's fine. - PHYLLIS: Allô. 26 00:00:55,311 --> 00:00:56,477 C'est moi. 27 00:00:56,478 --> 00:00:58,679 (exhales) 28 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,999 ("Jeopardy" theme playing) 29 00:01:18,183 --> 00:01:20,185 (machine whirring) 30 00:01:27,059 --> 00:01:28,543 MAN (on TV): A Certain Age, $800. 31 00:01:28,544 --> 00:01:30,845 ALEX TREBEK: A common Jewish surname. 32 00:01:30,846 --> 00:01:32,213 It's German for "black." 33 00:01:32,214 --> 00:01:33,514 - What is Schwartz?! - Schvartze! 34 00:01:33,515 --> 00:01:34,749 - MAN: Schwartz. - TREBEK: Correct. 35 00:01:34,750 --> 00:01:37,017 - Jesus. - WOMAN: All In The Family, 2,000. 36 00:01:37,018 --> 00:01:39,354 TREBEK: In the King James Bible, these three words 37 00:01:39,355 --> 00:01:41,055 starting with a relative, 38 00:01:41,056 --> 00:01:43,358 precede "for they know not what they do." 39 00:01:43,359 --> 00:01:45,484 - What is "Father forgive them?" - "Father forgive them!" 40 00:01:45,485 --> 00:01:46,842 WOMAN: What is "Father, forgive them?" 41 00:01:46,843 --> 00:01:47,856 TREBEK: Right. 42 00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,598 WOMAN: Magic and sorcery in the Bible for eight. 43 00:01:49,599 --> 00:01:52,733 TREBEK: This Babylonian king had his own group of magicians, 44 00:01:52,734 --> 00:01:55,870 but it was Daniel who interpreted his dreams. 45 00:01:55,871 --> 00:01:57,905 - Who is Nebuchadnezzar? - Nebuchadnezzar. 46 00:01:57,906 --> 00:02:00,275 - TREBEK: Yes. - Good. We both won. 47 00:02:00,276 --> 00:02:02,209 No, you didn't win, because you didn't 48 00:02:02,210 --> 00:02:03,711 put it in the form of a question. 49 00:02:03,712 --> 00:02:05,431 (scoffs) 50 00:02:10,803 --> 00:02:13,254 - Oh, thank you. - You're welcome. 51 00:02:13,255 --> 00:02:14,755 Is it good? 52 00:02:14,756 --> 00:02:17,292 - Yeah. - So, these boys asked me 53 00:02:17,293 --> 00:02:18,626 to do a photo shoot for like, 54 00:02:18,627 --> 00:02:20,395 - their rehab group or... - SAM: Mm-hmm. 55 00:02:20,396 --> 00:02:21,462 Some kind of bullshit, 56 00:02:21,463 --> 00:02:23,375 and, um, they asked me to invite 57 00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:25,132 my girlfriends, and it turns out 58 00:02:25,133 --> 00:02:28,107 they were just trying to get me to take naked pictures of them. 59 00:02:28,654 --> 00:02:31,238 And they thought because I was shooting it, it would be okay. 60 00:02:31,239 --> 00:02:32,955 The fuck? 61 00:02:32,956 --> 00:02:34,074 MAX: So stupid. 62 00:02:34,075 --> 00:02:36,076 Well, boys will be boys. 63 00:02:36,077 --> 00:02:38,613 They certainly know how to take any advantage 64 00:02:38,614 --> 00:02:40,410 to gawp at young girls' bosoms. 65 00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:42,082 It's so childish. 66 00:02:42,083 --> 00:02:43,451 (laughs) 67 00:02:43,452 --> 00:02:45,338 Why did you leave my dad? 68 00:02:47,705 --> 00:02:48,888 What? 69 00:02:48,889 --> 00:02:50,157 Frankie, shut up. 70 00:02:50,158 --> 00:02:51,826 No. (scoffs) 71 00:02:51,827 --> 00:02:53,346 Why did you leave my dad? 72 00:02:57,608 --> 00:03:00,081 Frankie, that was a long time ago. 73 00:03:00,082 --> 00:03:02,102 Well, yeah, but you never told us. 74 00:03:02,103 --> 00:03:03,771 You-you never told us. You... 75 00:03:03,772 --> 00:03:06,307 you sat us down and gave us that bullshit talk 76 00:03:06,308 --> 00:03:08,309 and then we all went to the movies. 77 00:03:08,310 --> 00:03:10,055 But you never told us why. 78 00:03:13,219 --> 00:03:14,465 MAX: It's true, Mom. 79 00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:16,259 You never told us. 80 00:03:23,542 --> 00:03:25,526 Did your father say something to you 81 00:03:25,527 --> 00:03:27,294 when you saw him on Tuesday? 82 00:03:27,295 --> 00:03:30,331 This is not about what my father said to me. 83 00:03:30,332 --> 00:03:32,651 This is about what you haven't said to me. 84 00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:37,058 Why did you leave my dad? 85 00:03:41,026 --> 00:03:42,309 (sighs) 86 00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:43,529 (fart) 87 00:03:45,498 --> 00:03:47,650 Oh, I beg your pardon. 88 00:03:47,651 --> 00:03:50,184 I've made a pong. Uh-oh. 89 00:03:50,185 --> 00:03:51,318 (laughing) 90 00:03:51,319 --> 00:03:52,487 (laughing): Oh. 91 00:03:52,488 --> 00:03:53,821 (stifled laugh) 92 00:03:53,822 --> 00:03:55,656 - (chuckling) - Gran. 93 00:03:55,657 --> 00:03:59,026 - (laughing) - Oh, okay. Gross. 94 00:03:59,027 --> 00:04:01,680 - (all laughing) - PHYLLIS: Goodness me. 95 00:04:08,754 --> 00:04:10,523 (chuckles) 96 00:04:12,524 --> 00:04:13,608 Thanks, Mom. 97 00:04:14,209 --> 00:04:15,401 No problem. 98 00:04:16,681 --> 00:04:24,277 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 99 00:04:26,371 --> 00:04:27,606 Okay. 100 00:04:29,608 --> 00:04:31,133 Yeah. 101 00:04:32,133 --> 00:04:34,595 No, I'm not okay, but... 102 00:04:34,596 --> 00:04:36,048 (crying): Bye. 103 00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:38,933 I don't know what you want me to say. 104 00:04:38,934 --> 00:04:40,586 (sniffles) 105 00:04:45,010 --> 00:04:48,042 ♪ I'm the fattest person in the land ♪ 106 00:04:48,043 --> 00:04:52,447 ♪ I'm the fatty patty patty man. ♪ 107 00:04:52,448 --> 00:04:53,881 (chuckles, sniffles) 108 00:04:53,882 --> 00:04:55,883 (clears throat) 109 00:04:55,884 --> 00:04:58,218 Hi. How are you? 110 00:04:58,219 --> 00:05:00,906 - How you doing? - I'm okay. 111 00:05:03,442 --> 00:05:05,059 What's wrong? 112 00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:06,445 Why you cry? 113 00:05:08,481 --> 00:05:09,645 Doesn't matter. 114 00:05:10,232 --> 00:05:11,632 I just... 115 00:05:11,633 --> 00:05:13,251 Bleh. (chuckles) 116 00:05:14,953 --> 00:05:16,471 What were you doing today? 117 00:05:16,472 --> 00:05:18,639 Hmm. 118 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:21,776 Well, I have therapy. 119 00:05:21,777 --> 00:05:22,935 Yep. 120 00:05:22,936 --> 00:05:24,645 Yep, I do. 121 00:05:24,646 --> 00:05:27,423 I have doctor medical prescribed 122 00:05:27,424 --> 00:05:29,001 mental therapy. 123 00:05:30,507 --> 00:05:32,587 Good, Mom. You need it. 124 00:05:32,588 --> 00:05:34,539 Oh, thank you so much. 125 00:05:35,424 --> 00:05:37,425 What are you gonna do today? 126 00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:40,328 I... don't know. 127 00:05:40,895 --> 00:05:42,997 I'm supposed to see a show tonight. 128 00:05:42,998 --> 00:05:44,298 I'm shooting a band. 129 00:05:44,846 --> 00:05:46,165 Cool. 130 00:05:48,353 --> 00:05:51,599 - Can I borrow your boots? - Nope. Absolutely not. 131 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:52,673 - Mom! - No, you can't. 132 00:05:52,674 --> 00:05:54,975 Mom, they're just gonna stay in your closet. 133 00:05:54,976 --> 00:05:56,634 Please, please, can I borrow the boots? 134 00:05:56,635 --> 00:05:57,678 Nope. No. 135 00:05:57,679 --> 00:05:59,865 No, you can't, honey. 136 00:06:03,035 --> 00:06:04,785 (Max sobs) 137 00:06:04,786 --> 00:06:06,612 What's wrong? 138 00:06:09,642 --> 00:06:11,476 My boyfriend broke up with me. 139 00:06:12,461 --> 00:06:14,212 - (sniffling) - Oh. 140 00:06:15,687 --> 00:06:17,498 Which one? 141 00:06:17,499 --> 00:06:20,668 Um, the black ones with the roses. 142 00:06:20,669 --> 00:06:22,555 No, I meant which boyfriend. 143 00:06:24,022 --> 00:06:25,472 (laughs) 144 00:06:25,473 --> 00:06:27,876 (laughing): Okay, that's really funny, Mom. 145 00:06:28,685 --> 00:06:31,045 Now I feel bad about myself again. 146 00:06:31,046 --> 00:06:33,065 (sighs) 147 00:06:34,166 --> 00:06:36,817 (groans) 148 00:06:36,818 --> 00:06:40,038 Come on. Come on. 149 00:06:49,414 --> 00:06:52,232 (Sam exhales, grunts) 150 00:06:52,233 --> 00:06:54,519 (safe beeps) 151 00:06:55,554 --> 00:06:56,871 Turn around. 152 00:06:56,872 --> 00:06:58,873 Turn around, turn away. 153 00:06:58,874 --> 00:07:00,675 - Turn away. - Why do you have that? 154 00:07:00,676 --> 00:07:03,177 It's so weird you keep your fucking boots in a safe. 155 00:07:03,178 --> 00:07:04,597 (beeping, lock clicks) 156 00:07:06,699 --> 00:07:08,916 Oh, what about those? Can I have those? 157 00:07:08,917 --> 00:07:10,918 No! No, no, no, no. 158 00:07:10,919 --> 00:07:13,187 You absolutely can't, no. No, honey. 159 00:07:13,188 --> 00:07:14,722 You know why? 160 00:07:14,723 --> 00:07:17,391 My grandmother left me a gold bracelet, 161 00:07:17,392 --> 00:07:20,728 I had a rare book and a ruby ring, 162 00:07:20,729 --> 00:07:23,030 and you know what? They're all gone. 163 00:07:23,031 --> 00:07:24,264 They're all gone. 164 00:07:24,265 --> 00:07:25,700 You guys just take it. 165 00:07:25,701 --> 00:07:28,220 You take away things. So... 166 00:07:30,222 --> 00:07:33,240 Go ahead. Take these boots. 167 00:07:33,241 --> 00:07:34,909 I'm never gonna see 'em again. 168 00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:38,779 But I am keeping these boots. 169 00:07:38,780 --> 00:07:40,599 And my safe. 170 00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:44,856 You're welcome. 171 00:07:46,605 --> 00:07:49,223 Can we go out? Can we get tacos? 172 00:07:49,224 --> 00:07:51,558 Didn't you hear what I was singing before? 173 00:07:51,559 --> 00:07:55,095 I'm the fatty, patty, patty, patty, fatty man. 174 00:07:55,096 --> 00:07:57,598 - (chuckles) - Duh. Yes. 175 00:07:57,599 --> 00:07:59,771 - Okay. - Tacos. 176 00:08:08,715 --> 00:08:10,866 Seriously? I could... 177 00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:12,334 - climb over the... - (intercom beeps) 178 00:08:12,335 --> 00:08:14,003 (buzzing) 179 00:08:14,004 --> 00:08:15,755 Okay. 180 00:08:28,068 --> 00:08:31,086 Well, this kind of stress at home is very common. 181 00:08:31,087 --> 00:08:33,355 Oh, really? Is it? Is this common? 182 00:08:33,356 --> 00:08:36,525 Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, 183 00:08:36,526 --> 00:08:39,428 Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Lyft, Lyft, 184 00:08:39,429 --> 00:08:41,230 Postmates, Venmo, 185 00:08:41,231 --> 00:08:43,432 Spotify, Instafollow, 186 00:08:43,433 --> 00:08:45,434 Lyft, Uber, Uber, Uber, 187 00:08:45,435 --> 00:08:47,536 Uber, Uber, Lyft, 188 00:08:47,537 --> 00:08:50,272 Postmates, Postmates, Editing Bunny. 189 00:08:50,273 --> 00:08:53,575 I don't know... why this makes me so angry. 190 00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:55,044 (scoffs) 191 00:08:55,045 --> 00:08:56,878 I know they have to get places 192 00:08:56,879 --> 00:08:58,880 and I can't be everywhere. 193 00:08:58,881 --> 00:09:01,383 I just... I-I... 194 00:09:01,384 --> 00:09:02,884 It... When I see it 195 00:09:02,885 --> 00:09:05,754 in this big, giant, pile 196 00:09:05,755 --> 00:09:08,423 of turd money bullshit... 197 00:09:08,424 --> 00:09:10,559 I need somebody to weigh in. 198 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:14,396 Like, is this okay? Is this how people are doing it? 199 00:09:14,397 --> 00:09:16,731 Or am I completely screwing everything up? 200 00:09:16,732 --> 00:09:17,753 Yes. 201 00:09:18,735 --> 00:09:20,735 "There are no strangers here, 202 00:09:20,736 --> 00:09:22,755 only friends we have not met." 203 00:09:24,257 --> 00:09:26,075 ♪ Fried ham, fried ham ♪ 204 00:09:26,076 --> 00:09:28,643 ♪ Cheese and bologna, after the macaroni ♪ 205 00:09:28,644 --> 00:09:30,412 ♪ We'll have... ♪ 206 00:09:30,413 --> 00:09:33,157 ♪ Pickles, onions, and pretzels ♪ 207 00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:35,969 ♪ Then we'll have some more fried ham, fried ham. ♪ 208 00:09:39,087 --> 00:09:41,887 ♪ I'm gonna pack my bags and turn around ♪ 209 00:09:41,888 --> 00:09:44,759 ♪ I'm gonna turn this camp right upside down ♪ 210 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,496 ♪ I'm gonna drink and smoke and neck and peck ♪ 211 00:09:47,497 --> 00:09:49,764 ♪ So what the heck, to hell with the... ♪ 212 00:09:49,765 --> 00:09:51,433 (chuckles) 213 00:09:51,434 --> 00:09:53,635 I guess it really has been that long. 214 00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:55,804 - ♪ To hell with the Ca... ♪ - ♪ Camp ♪ 215 00:09:55,805 --> 00:09:58,773 - ♪ Camp Teak girls ♪ - ♪ Camp Teak boys ♪ 216 00:09:58,774 --> 00:09:59,975 - ♪ Camp Teak girls ♪ - ♪ Camp Teak boys ♪ 217 00:09:59,976 --> 00:10:02,811 - ♪ Wear boxers ♪ - ♪ Are fairies ♪ 218 00:10:02,812 --> 00:10:05,314 (chuckles) 219 00:10:05,315 --> 00:10:08,183 - Hoh... - Yeah, you see that? 220 00:10:08,184 --> 00:10:10,803 I knew I wasn't that forgettable. (chuckles) 221 00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:14,534 Blowing your mind a little bit? 222 00:10:16,043 --> 00:10:17,526 A little bit. 223 00:10:17,527 --> 00:10:18,701 Yeah. 224 00:10:20,055 --> 00:10:21,214 Hi. 225 00:10:29,822 --> 00:10:32,507 ♪ Why make believe... ♪ 226 00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:34,043 Little Deezy Miller. 227 00:10:34,044 --> 00:10:36,811 And now Dr. Little Deezy Miller. 228 00:10:36,812 --> 00:10:39,181 But I'll take David from my old camp buddy. 229 00:10:39,182 --> 00:10:40,974 Oh. Okay. 230 00:10:42,669 --> 00:10:44,572 What? We weren't buddies? 231 00:10:44,573 --> 00:10:46,355 Oh, no, I don't know. 232 00:10:46,356 --> 00:10:48,823 I mean, is that what you call every girl 233 00:10:48,824 --> 00:10:50,659 you went behind the infirmary with? 234 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,196 You are every girl I went behind the infirmary with. 235 00:10:54,197 --> 00:10:55,397 (chuckles) 236 00:10:55,398 --> 00:10:58,500 ♪ They tell me it's only ♪ 237 00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:00,335 ♪ Make-believe... ♪ 238 00:11:00,336 --> 00:11:02,422 (grunts) 239 00:11:05,192 --> 00:11:07,176 I was red team. 60s? 240 00:11:07,177 --> 00:11:10,045 Oh, God, that's right. Yeah, and you wore that, uh, 241 00:11:10,046 --> 00:11:12,414 Led Zeppelin shirt with the sleeves cut off 242 00:11:12,415 --> 00:11:14,249 - for that whole week. - (chuckles) 243 00:11:14,250 --> 00:11:16,433 You were so cute. God, you killed me. 244 00:11:16,434 --> 00:11:19,888 ♪ That you adore... ♪ 245 00:11:19,889 --> 00:11:23,024 So... 246 00:11:23,025 --> 00:11:25,026 still got that shirt? 247 00:11:25,027 --> 00:11:28,197 ♪ Darling, I find ♪ 248 00:11:28,198 --> 00:11:30,065 ♪ I'm getting worried... ♪ 249 00:11:30,066 --> 00:11:32,085 Yes! 250 00:11:32,752 --> 00:11:34,254 (grunts) 251 00:11:41,261 --> 00:11:43,245 What happened? 252 00:11:43,246 --> 00:11:46,381 You've been playing in the street again is what happened. 253 00:11:46,382 --> 00:11:49,284 No, I... I wasn't, I... 254 00:11:49,285 --> 00:11:51,052 (scoffs) If your mother finds out 255 00:11:51,053 --> 00:11:52,454 you've been playing in the street again, 256 00:11:52,455 --> 00:11:54,390 you're gonna be in a lot of trouble. 257 00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:56,725 I don't feel good. 258 00:11:56,726 --> 00:11:59,094 All right. Come on. You're fine. 259 00:11:59,095 --> 00:12:00,929 Just a little shaken up. 260 00:12:00,930 --> 00:12:02,482 How many fingers? 261 00:12:03,483 --> 00:12:04,899 Three. 262 00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:07,236 Good girl. All right. 263 00:12:07,237 --> 00:12:09,104 Need a little lie down is all. 264 00:12:09,105 --> 00:12:12,641 Now, get yourself back in and get cleaned up 265 00:12:12,642 --> 00:12:14,433 before your mother catches you. 266 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,745 Okay. Wait, where's my skateboard? 267 00:12:16,746 --> 00:12:18,265 Go. 268 00:12:41,222 --> 00:12:43,122 We should probably talk about you at some point. 269 00:12:43,123 --> 00:12:45,457 Mm-hmm. Sure. Yeah. 270 00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:49,128 Or, I don't know, you could maybe just give me the drugs. 271 00:12:49,129 --> 00:12:52,042 Dr. Babu said that you would try to shake me down. 272 00:12:52,503 --> 00:12:53,866 But so far all I know is either 273 00:12:53,867 --> 00:12:56,035 somebody stole your credit card 274 00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:58,638 or, um, you have a teenager at home. 275 00:12:58,639 --> 00:13:01,040 Two, and a younger. 276 00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,508 And you think that they're contributing 277 00:13:02,509 --> 00:13:04,143 to your sleep issues? 278 00:13:04,144 --> 00:13:08,314 (scoffs) No. No. They don't keep me up anymore. 279 00:13:08,315 --> 00:13:10,946 I don't even fall asleep, I just pass out. 280 00:13:11,929 --> 00:13:13,131 All right. 281 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,057 Ugh. 282 00:13:19,004 --> 00:13:20,177 Ugh! 283 00:13:21,511 --> 00:13:23,050 (groans) 284 00:13:24,410 --> 00:13:25,998 I keep... 285 00:13:25,999 --> 00:13:29,669 (muffled): I keep having these dreams that I'm constantly 286 00:13:29,670 --> 00:13:32,572 getting sexed on by my ex, 287 00:13:32,573 --> 00:13:35,507 and it's happening very frequently, 288 00:13:35,508 --> 00:13:37,293 meaning every single night. 289 00:13:38,178 --> 00:13:39,845 How long since the divorce? 290 00:13:39,846 --> 00:13:43,048 Uh, it's been, like, four or five hundred years. 291 00:13:43,049 --> 00:13:45,268 So was it an amicable split? 292 00:13:46,369 --> 00:13:47,920 Um... jeesh, 293 00:13:47,921 --> 00:13:49,480 I don't want to... 294 00:13:49,481 --> 00:13:50,923 I don't... 295 00:13:50,924 --> 00:13:53,525 Well, we don't have to get into that right now. 296 00:13:53,526 --> 00:13:57,268 But I will say that even after a contentious relationship, 297 00:13:57,269 --> 00:13:59,398 there can be residual feelings 298 00:13:59,399 --> 00:14:01,499 - No. No. No. No. - That have to be dealt with. 299 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,703 - Otherwise they can continue to fester. - Nope. 300 00:14:03,704 --> 00:14:06,538 - Beneath the surface. - No. Nope. Wrong. Wrong. 301 00:14:06,539 --> 00:14:08,558 Sorry, that's stupid. 302 00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:12,945 If your ex-husband was here right now, 303 00:14:12,946 --> 00:14:14,330 what would you say to him? 304 00:14:15,314 --> 00:14:18,234 Why didn't you drown in a puddle of diarrhea yet? 305 00:14:28,477 --> 00:14:29,795 Hello, Sam. 306 00:14:29,796 --> 00:14:32,664 (groans) 307 00:14:32,665 --> 00:14:33,899 Hello. 308 00:14:33,900 --> 00:14:35,067 Be stiffer. 309 00:14:35,068 --> 00:14:36,902 More stiff and awkward, 310 00:14:36,903 --> 00:14:38,642 yet charming. 311 00:14:38,643 --> 00:14:40,239 More stiff and awkward than that? 312 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:41,324 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 313 00:14:43,093 --> 00:14:44,427 Hello, Sam. 314 00:14:45,428 --> 00:14:47,130 Yeah, hi. 315 00:14:48,165 --> 00:14:49,448 What happened? 316 00:14:49,449 --> 00:14:52,084 - Why did you summon me? - Um... 317 00:14:52,085 --> 00:14:53,485 because I've been having dreams, 318 00:14:53,486 --> 00:14:56,487 and they're fairly disturbing to me. 319 00:14:56,488 --> 00:14:58,457 What happens in the dreams? 320 00:14:58,458 --> 00:14:59,892 (sighs) 321 00:14:59,893 --> 00:15:01,661 I don't want to talk about it. 322 00:15:01,662 --> 00:15:03,428 Well, maybe you better talk about it. 323 00:15:03,429 --> 00:15:04,964 I mean, you called me. 324 00:15:04,965 --> 00:15:07,933 I've been having dreams that we're fucking. 325 00:15:07,934 --> 00:15:09,787 Sex dreams things. 326 00:15:11,134 --> 00:15:12,437 Oh, gosh. 327 00:15:12,438 --> 00:15:14,339 SAM: (groans) 328 00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:16,308 This makes me very, very, 329 00:15:16,309 --> 00:15:18,644 very, very uncomfortable. 330 00:15:18,645 --> 00:15:20,130 (sighs) 331 00:15:21,447 --> 00:15:22,848 I'm not attracted to you. 332 00:15:22,849 --> 00:15:24,668 I'm not attracted to you either. 333 00:15:26,169 --> 00:15:28,651 But do you remember the thing that... 334 00:15:29,644 --> 00:15:32,099 we used to do, we did? 335 00:15:32,886 --> 00:15:33,926 Jesus. 336 00:15:34,439 --> 00:15:36,796 Yeah, of course. I remember, yeah. 337 00:15:36,797 --> 00:15:38,789 - Do you? - I remember. 338 00:15:39,649 --> 00:15:41,801 I don't think that it's a good idea 339 00:15:41,802 --> 00:15:43,969 - that we do this. - Same. 340 00:15:43,970 --> 00:15:45,780 But just for the record... 341 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:48,783 I'll do it if you want to. 342 00:15:54,697 --> 00:15:56,681 I don't have that outfit anymore. 343 00:15:56,682 --> 00:15:58,001 You have the boots? 344 00:15:59,369 --> 00:16:01,153 Yes, I have the boots. 345 00:16:01,154 --> 00:16:03,573 - Do you have the underwear? - Shut up. 346 00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:07,344 Yes. 347 00:16:09,579 --> 00:16:11,452 I'm fully erect right now. 348 00:16:11,453 --> 00:16:14,064 Ugh. I'm sick to my stomach. 349 00:16:14,065 --> 00:16:16,659 Well, you were always that way before we did that. 350 00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:19,648 This is bad. I know that this is bad. 351 00:16:19,649 --> 00:16:21,981 You know, and also, I'm offended a little bit. 352 00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:23,075 I resent you 353 00:16:23,076 --> 00:16:25,244 for pulling us into this moment, because we both know 354 00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:26,879 that you're the one that's in control. 355 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:28,499 - It's not fair, Sam. - I don't care, 356 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,382 you can hang up any time. 357 00:16:30,383 --> 00:16:32,051 I'm going back to my hotel. 358 00:16:32,052 --> 00:16:34,519 If you want, you can go home, get the boots, 359 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:36,021 get that underwear. 360 00:16:36,022 --> 00:16:38,190 My flight leaves tomorrow at 7:00 a.m. 361 00:16:38,191 --> 00:16:40,692 And I don't know how I'll feel or even what I'll do 362 00:16:40,693 --> 00:16:42,545 - if you come over, but... - (sighs) 363 00:16:44,714 --> 00:16:46,716 (toilet flushes) 364 00:16:57,227 --> 00:16:59,211 MAN (on TV): Elevators ain't running. 365 00:16:59,212 --> 00:17:00,712 Come on. 366 00:17:00,713 --> 00:17:02,381 Shouldn't be getting out of bed, Miss. 367 00:17:02,382 --> 00:17:04,049 Has he been here? Have you seen him? 368 00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:05,717 MAN: I ain't seen him for a week. 369 00:17:05,718 --> 00:17:06,886 WOMAN: Where's Cornell? 370 00:17:06,887 --> 00:17:08,220 MAN: He's watching the other door. 371 00:17:08,221 --> 00:17:11,408 WOMAN: Oh, you're swell. Oh... 372 00:17:12,910 --> 00:17:14,244 (running footsteps on TV) 373 00:17:16,146 --> 00:17:18,230 MAN: Now, that's crazy... it's 14 floors. 374 00:17:18,231 --> 00:17:21,251 I... I just got hit by a car. 375 00:17:22,585 --> 00:17:25,488 Oh. Is that what that noise was? 376 00:17:26,957 --> 00:17:28,574 I think I'm in trouble. 377 00:17:29,336 --> 00:17:32,495 Mm-hmm. Maybe. 378 00:17:38,268 --> 00:17:40,938 And I can't tell Mom, but... 379 00:17:42,472 --> 00:17:44,274 ...I think I'm really hurt. 380 00:17:45,275 --> 00:17:46,844 What? 381 00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,807 Did you-did you hit your head? 382 00:17:51,808 --> 00:17:53,498 No. 383 00:17:53,499 --> 00:17:56,286 Well, does it hurt? Are you-are you bleeding? 384 00:17:57,387 --> 00:17:58,888 Well, where? 385 00:18:00,657 --> 00:18:02,341 I don't see any blood. 386 00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:03,434 Duke. 387 00:18:04,845 --> 00:18:06,253 Maybe it's... 388 00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:09,332 someplace else. 389 00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:13,170 Someplace else? What... w-what do you mean? 390 00:18:22,045 --> 00:18:23,135 Oh. 391 00:18:24,298 --> 00:18:25,548 Um... 392 00:18:27,108 --> 00:18:28,133 Okay. 393 00:18:28,134 --> 00:18:29,801 No, no, no, no, no, hey. Hey, hey, hey. 394 00:18:29,802 --> 00:18:31,971 It's okay, you're okay. Um, 395 00:18:31,972 --> 00:18:33,853 why don't we just... we'll go upstairs, okay? 396 00:18:33,854 --> 00:18:35,861 I have something you need up there. Yeah? 397 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:38,810 MAN (on TV): No sense in going up there... 398 00:18:38,811 --> 00:18:40,312 I've been here for hours. He ain't here. 399 00:18:40,313 --> 00:18:41,899 WOMAN: Let me go, would you? 400 00:18:53,282 --> 00:18:54,969 I want to call Max. 401 00:19:01,497 --> 00:19:05,349 ♪ My nightmares have come alive ♪ 402 00:19:05,350 --> 00:19:09,287 ♪ They're eating me from the inside ♪ 403 00:19:09,288 --> 00:19:12,856 ♪ When you go ♪ 404 00:19:12,857 --> 00:19:15,977 ♪ Leave on the light ♪ 405 00:19:18,214 --> 00:19:20,631 ♪ Oh, my God ♪ 406 00:19:20,632 --> 00:19:23,033 ♪ I've got the fear ♪ 407 00:19:23,034 --> 00:19:25,969 ♪ I cannot escape here... ♪ 408 00:19:25,970 --> 00:19:28,306 - Keep it close. - Mm-hmm. 409 00:19:28,307 --> 00:19:31,309 ♪ Wake me up, wake me up ♪ 410 00:19:31,310 --> 00:19:33,161 ♪ Oh, please... ♪ 411 00:19:39,701 --> 00:19:41,819 - (music stops) - (retching) 412 00:19:41,820 --> 00:19:43,888 (knocking on door) 413 00:19:44,582 --> 00:19:45,725 Hello, Mom. 414 00:19:47,376 --> 00:19:49,827 Well, don't linger there like a huckster. Come in. 415 00:19:49,828 --> 00:19:54,365 ♪ Did you ever really ♪ 416 00:19:54,366 --> 00:19:56,385 ♪ Love me... ♪ 417 00:19:59,888 --> 00:20:02,506 MARION: Is everything okay? 418 00:20:02,507 --> 00:20:05,594 ♪ Really care? ♪ 419 00:20:09,396 --> 00:20:11,682 You called me to come over here, Phil? 420 00:20:11,683 --> 00:20:14,184 ♪ Really miss me ♪ 421 00:20:14,185 --> 00:20:16,520 ♪ Kiss me ♪ 422 00:20:16,521 --> 00:20:18,389 ♪ I wonder ♪ 423 00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:20,524 ♪ If your heart was ever there... ♪ 424 00:20:20,525 --> 00:20:22,544 (groaning) 425 00:20:26,114 --> 00:20:28,636 My car keys. 426 00:20:28,637 --> 00:20:30,701 I've decided it's time. 427 00:20:30,702 --> 00:20:32,880 And I don't want to talk about it. Ever. 428 00:20:33,558 --> 00:20:35,076 - Do you understand? - Yes. 429 00:20:36,190 --> 00:20:38,359 I do have conditions, however. 430 00:20:39,962 --> 00:20:42,678 I want unlimited Ubers for life 431 00:20:42,679 --> 00:20:44,540 and a black American Express card. 432 00:20:46,316 --> 00:20:48,252 Is there anything else, or... 433 00:20:48,253 --> 00:20:49,488 What? 434 00:20:50,421 --> 00:20:51,555 No, what do you mean? 435 00:20:51,556 --> 00:20:53,291 I... 436 00:20:53,292 --> 00:20:54,758 Nothing. 437 00:20:54,759 --> 00:20:56,560 You agree to the terms, then? 438 00:20:56,561 --> 00:20:59,763 Phil, yeah, we can't get a black American Express card. 439 00:20:59,764 --> 00:21:01,352 Well, Ubers, then. 440 00:21:02,401 --> 00:21:05,235 And I want the service... The one that brings you 441 00:21:05,236 --> 00:21:08,123 a different flavored popcorn every month. 442 00:21:11,493 --> 00:21:13,144 I'll look into that. 443 00:21:13,919 --> 00:21:15,055 Good. 444 00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:16,914 Okay. All right. 445 00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:19,483 Well, I'm making dinner now. 446 00:21:19,484 --> 00:21:20,784 - That's very nice. - So you should leave. 447 00:21:20,785 --> 00:21:22,438 Huh. 448 00:21:38,932 --> 00:21:40,550 - Again. - ♪ I can't say ♪ 449 00:21:40,551 --> 00:21:43,571 ♪ That I always do the right thing ♪ 450 00:21:46,273 --> 00:21:49,391 ♪ I'm not even sure ♪ 451 00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:52,412 ♪ If I know what that means ♪ 452 00:21:55,248 --> 00:21:56,899 ♪ I'd like to be someone ♪ 453 00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:59,987 ♪ Who's honest and tough ♪ 454 00:22:02,089 --> 00:22:04,440 - (exhales) - ♪ And I fear that I'm close ♪ 455 00:22:04,441 --> 00:22:07,094 ♪ But I'm not close enough ♪ 456 00:22:10,097 --> 00:22:12,314 ♪ I'd like to cry ♪ 457 00:22:12,315 --> 00:22:14,301 ♪ But I can't get into it ♪ 458 00:22:17,638 --> 00:22:20,422 - ♪ I've thought about dying. ♪ - (grumbles): Oh, no. 459 00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:23,759 ♪ I'm not sure how to do it ♪ 460 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,995 (sighs) 461 00:22:25,996 --> 00:22:30,432 ♪ I need love ♪ 462 00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:32,820 - ♪ I need love ♪ - What...? 463 00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:37,958 ♪ I need love ♪ 464 00:22:39,292 --> 00:22:41,844 ♪ I need love ♪ 465 00:22:41,845 --> 00:22:43,531 ♪ Yeah... ♪ 466 00:22:44,965 --> 00:22:46,816 (song fades out) 467 00:22:46,817 --> 00:22:48,836 (exhales) 468 00:23:16,564 --> 00:23:20,315 ♪ 469 00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:22,335 ♪ Welcome in my cabin ♪ 470 00:23:24,004 --> 00:23:26,889 ♪ Anytime you'd like ♪ 471 00:23:26,890 --> 00:23:30,159 ♪ See I'm burning up ♪ 472 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:34,848 ♪ All the spruce and pine ♪ 473 00:23:39,352 --> 00:23:42,672 ♪ And I know it's not the best ♪ 474 00:23:42,673 --> 00:23:46,041 ♪ For heating us ♪ 475 00:23:46,042 --> 00:23:50,345 ♪ I know it's not the best ♪ 476 00:23:50,346 --> 00:23:53,348 ♪ For healing us ♪ 477 00:23:53,349 --> 00:23:57,720 ♪ But it's all I have and I share my flaws with you ♪ 478 00:23:57,721 --> 00:24:01,857 ♪ We ♪ 479 00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:04,694 ♪ All ♪ 480 00:24:04,695 --> 00:24:07,781 ♪ Deserve ♪ 481 00:24:11,251 --> 00:24:14,870 ♪ You can call on God ♪ 482 00:24:14,871 --> 00:24:18,608 ♪ In the morning once you're sober ♪ 483 00:24:18,609 --> 00:24:21,076 ♪ And you can talk to me ♪ 484 00:24:21,077 --> 00:24:23,731 ♪ When you're all fucked up tonight ♪ 485 00:24:41,782 --> 00:24:44,266 ♪ But if it just ♪ 486 00:24:44,267 --> 00:24:47,737 ♪ Has to wait ♪ 487 00:24:47,738 --> 00:24:51,641 ♪ If it's something I ♪ 488 00:24:51,642 --> 00:24:55,444 ♪ Won't understand ♪ 489 00:24:55,445 --> 00:24:57,613 ♪ Well, I understand ♪ 490 00:24:57,614 --> 00:25:00,267 ♪ We all deserve the light ♪ 491 00:25:03,103 --> 00:25:05,087 ♪ I understand ♪ 492 00:25:05,088 --> 00:25:08,108 ♪ We all deserve the light ♪ 493 00:25:22,022 --> 00:25:25,607 ♪ We ♪ 494 00:25:25,608 --> 00:25:30,179 ♪ All ♪ 495 00:25:30,180 --> 00:25:33,466 ♪ Deserve. ♪ 496 00:25:54,873 --> 00:25:56,197 SAM: Guys? 497 00:25:57,698 --> 00:25:59,367 Somebody? 498 00:26:00,144 --> 00:26:02,495 I need a tampon. 499 00:26:06,850 --> 00:26:09,126 I gave your last one to Duke. 500 00:26:10,670 --> 00:26:12,188 SAM: What?! 501 00:26:12,189 --> 00:26:15,991 ♪ I ain't gonna cry no more, no more ♪ 502 00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:19,661 ♪ Ain't gonna cry no more ♪ (whooping) 503 00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:22,832 ♪ I ain't gonna cry no more, no more ♪ 504 00:26:22,833 --> 00:26:26,335 ♪ I ain't gonna cry no more ♪ 505 00:26:26,336 --> 00:26:29,404 ♪ Said I'd cry for the very last time ♪ 506 00:26:29,405 --> 00:26:32,908 ♪ And I ain't gonna cry no more ♪ 507 00:26:32,909 --> 00:26:36,879 ♪ 'Cause you finally made me see ♪ 508 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:40,082 ♪ That your love could never be ♪ 509 00:26:40,083 --> 00:26:43,518 ♪ All the heartaches I suffered before ♪ 510 00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:47,022 ♪ Darling, don't you see, I can't take no more ♪ 511 00:26:47,023 --> 00:26:49,109 ♪ I just want to let... ♪ 34134

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