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1
00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:20,602
Wow.
2
00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:23,273
There are a lot of assholes on here.
3
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:44,544
Mom!
4
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,463
Hey.
5
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:48,881
Rear Window.
6
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:50,749
What are you doing over there?
7
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,053
The Neighborhood
Watch Committee
8
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,346
posted this thing
about the new guy next door.
9
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,807
You have to stop with this
Neighborhood Watch journey.
10
00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:00,894
It's like a high school cafeteria
for old people.
11
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:02,479
You're right.
12
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,731
All right, let's get out of here.
13
00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:06,483
You want to go to the farmers' market?
14
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:10,028
I would, but I'm going to
Olivia's birthday party with Kim.
15
00:01:10,111 --> 00:01:13,865
Oh, you are already hanging out
with the boss.
16
00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:15,325
Chic, right?
17
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:18,787
Well, the farmers' market's
kind of our thing.
18
00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:21,831
I guess I'll stay here
and catch up on some reading.
19
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:25,293
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
Did you finish that article already?
20
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,712
Oh, no, not yet. But I'll let you know.
21
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:32,050
I am so proud of you for writing
about your cerebral palsy.
22
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,635
You are so brave.
23
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:43,811
Hey, Kim.
24
00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:45,313
Oh, hi. I'm Ryan.
25
00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:47,982
Oh, don't worry about him,
he's my Roadsy passenger.
26
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,610
Oh, you drive for Roadsy.
27
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,987
Does Eggwoke not pay you enough, or...?
28
00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:55,406
Oh, I just do it for the stories.
29
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:58,159
Last week, two girls
legit fucked in my backseat.
30
00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,243
It was hot.
31
00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:02,455
Yikes. This is like straight-up
suburbs out here.
32
00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:05,375
Shouldn't you be, like,
living it up in the city?
33
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,585
Oh, I was. I mean, I just, um...
34
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,309
you know, moved back in with my mom
for a second after my accident,
35
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,340
You know, she's obsessed with me, so...
36
00:02:12,423 --> 00:02:15,635
Yeah. Gay sons and their moms,
it's a thing, I get it.
37
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,720
But, like, how do you hook up?
38
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:19,848
Oh, well, you know.
39
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,350
When there's a will, there's a gay way.
40
00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:24,310
- Who are you hooking up with?
- No one.
41
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:27,147
Straight men are literal trash. Seriously.
42
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,858
- There should be some hotties at Olivia's.
- Ooh!
43
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,485
- Can I come?
- Jesus!
44
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:33,987
Is that seriously your real voice?
45
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:35,905
Okay, Daddy.
46
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:46,787
I'm already drunk.
47
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,513
It's 'cause I haven't had anything to eat.
48
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:51,087
Great party, you guys.
Thanks for coming. It's my party.
49
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,881
It's mine.
50
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,257
Hey!
51
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:55,758
What is the intern doing here?
52
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:56,968
He's my plus-one.
53
00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:58,595
Back off, birthday demon.
54
00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,555
I can... I can just go.
55
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:02,390
Uh, no, you're staying.
56
00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:05,894
Olivia, take the Valium
I know you have stashed
57
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,770
in your swimsuit right now and chill.
58
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,314
It's a strawberry Klonopin wafer,
59
00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:11,482
I already took it
and I'm radiating with rage,
60
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:12,817
so he's gotta go.
61
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,485
Fine.
62
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,613
But if I develop a sudden case
of writer's block
63
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,615
and can't produce any hits
at work next week,
64
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:19,949
don't be surprised.
65
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,951
Fine. Just keep him away from the pool.
66
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:24,954
Some guy died in there last week
and I don't need another lawsuit.
67
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,874
Come on, guys.
68
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,002
Sorry. I thought she'd be, like,
ten percent more chill.
69
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,463
It's okay. I can really just go.
70
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,715
No, it's gonna be fun, trust me.
71
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,008
Look, there's an open bar
72
00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:39,344
and an amazing cake
I guarantee no one's gonna eat.
73
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:40,427
Let's go change.
74
00:03:58,821 --> 00:03:59,821
Wow.
75
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,491
You look fantastic.
76
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:03,159
I know, right?
77
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,119
Wait,
you got a little price tag moment.
78
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,788
I got it.
79
00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:08,998
Always the epitome of glamour.
80
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,668
Um... where's your suit?
81
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:15,755
Oh, I'm not really a water baby,
I'm more of like a land adult.
82
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:16,923
Uh-huh.
83
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:20,218
You don't want to take your shirt off
in front of all those hot people. Got it.
84
00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:21,761
No, that's not it.
85
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:25,932
Ryan, trust me, I have been here before
and I know what you need to do.
86
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:29,352
Take off all your clothes and tell me
everything you love about your body.
87
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:30,603
That's a pass.
88
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,021
Come on!
89
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,523
I love my boobs.
90
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:34,816
They're bouncy and playful,
91
00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:37,360
and my nipples have
a very strong female POV.
92
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:39,904
Like, they could basically have
their own Netflix special.
93
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,490
Now your turn.
94
00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:44,534
You'll feel better, I promise.
95
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,369
Okay.
96
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:51,124
- This is really rude, by the way.
- I know.
97
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,333
Okay.
98
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,252
Um...
99
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:55,670
I guess I like my nipples, too.
100
00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:59,090
Because they're nipples and they
pretty much look the same on everyone.
101
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:00,008
Great.
102
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:01,467
Symmetry is in.
103
00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:04,470
I love my feet.
They always stay the same size.
104
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,139
I hate my feet.
105
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:08,683
Hey, no talking shit on yourself.
106
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,309
Go on.
107
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:16,690
Okay.
108
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,860
I guess I like my legs.
109
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,862
I mean, except for my scars.
110
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,906
I've had them forever,
but they still dark me out.
111
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,908
Okay, now you're just being a drama queen.
112
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,202
Didn't you get hit by a car
like three months ago?
113
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,663
Yes, I did. It just, um...
114
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:33,458
I guess it just feels like forever,
you know?
115
00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:34,541
Uh-huh.
116
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:35,793
Anything else you like?
117
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:36,877
No.
118
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,755
All right, well, we did it!
119
00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:41,674
♪ Our bodies, we love them
It's crazy ♪
120
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:43,383
Do you feel better?
121
00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:44,761
No.
122
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,387
Well, get the fuck over it.
123
00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:48,973
Now, put on your swim trunks and let's go.
124
00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:51,184
I need to be seen.
125
00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:59,484
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
126
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:01,736
- Blair, pay attention.
- Okay.
127
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,447
♪ Happy birthday ♪
128
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:08,493
♪ Dear Olivia ♪
129
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:15,124
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
130
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:23,257
Mmm.
131
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:25,175
I'm full.
132
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,220
Okay, thank you, guys. Good night.
133
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,974
See? I told you.
134
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:33,810
No one's eating that shit.
135
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:36,437
I'm going to jump in the pool
before it turns into human soup.
136
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:43,903
Hey, uh, come here.
137
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,197
Do you mind taking a photo of us?
138
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,448
Oh, sure.
139
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,208
Are you done?
140
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:58,917
Sorry.
141
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:01,545
Here.
142
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,587
Thanks.
143
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:07,218
Excuse me. Sorry.
144
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,854
Hey, Judge Judys.
145
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:21,441
If you're gonna stare at my cellulite,
you might as well get me a drink.
146
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,524
Okay.
147
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,068
How about some guac, too?
148
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:26,611
Sure.
149
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:31,951
And a cake!
150
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:36,387
What's going on, man?
What can I get you?
151
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,624
How about a...
152
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,043
banana daiquiri.
153
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:46,507
- Right.
- A banana daiquiri?
154
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,468
That's bold.
155
00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:52,305
I'm more of a
Sex On the Beach guy, myself.
156
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,640
I'm sorry, that was so cheesy.
157
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,518
It's... It's okay.
158
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,854
I, uh, brought some Lactaid,
159
00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:02,106
so we can handle the cheese together.
160
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,026
Oh, he's got jokes.
161
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:07,527
Okay.
162
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:16,787
We are fresh out of bananas.
163
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:19,808
- Vodka soda.
- That's perfect.
164
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:22,712
That's actually just what I wanted.
Okay, bye, nice meeting you, goodbye.
165
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:23,793
Okay.
166
00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:25,713
French 75.
167
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,424
I'm just fucking with you.
Just a vodka soda.
168
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:33,197
Thing is, I am a woman,
but I'm more like a goddess...
169
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,639
Kim, I need to talk to you.
170
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,936
- What's up?
- I just ran into this cute guy I know.
171
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,563
Well, I don't actually know him,
we met on Grindr.
172
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,833
But now we had this really nice moment IRL
and I'm like,
173
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,151
- "Where do you go from here?"
- Go have sex with him.
174
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,115
My answer to everything is
go have sex with him.
175
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:50,238
Oh, I can't do that.
176
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,321
Why not?
177
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,531
Because.
178
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,243
I'm... super into dying alone.
179
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:58,454
Ryan, that is very unhealthy.
I'm gonna need you to go talk to him.
180
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,538
No.
181
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,541
Go! You can do this!
182
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,709
Go on. Fly, honey.
183
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,503
Get that juicy booty over there.
184
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,129
You'll thank me later.
185
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,756
Hasta mañana.
186
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,011
GETMEOFFofhere.
187
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:16,639
What?
188
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:19,141
I'm Takeoffyourmasc.
189
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:22,770
Otherwise known as... Ryan.
190
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,563
Grindr.
191
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,109
Come on.
192
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,569
Let's go.
193
00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:39,327
Yah!
194
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,792
- Move.
- Oh, of course.
195
00:09:46,335 --> 00:09:47,461
- Hi.
- Hi.
196
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,427
Would you like another margarita, Kim?
197
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,346
Okay, what's with all the niceties?
198
00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,057
You're supposed to be telling me
that if I lost 20 pounds,
199
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,351
Mindy Kaling could maybe
play me in a movie.
200
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:06,438
We are...
201
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:09,066
huge fans of your writing.
202
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,736
That article you wrote about
how you loved your body
203
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:13,696
before, like, the world told you not to
204
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,031
changed my life.
205
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,283
- Really?
- Uh-huh.
206
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,244
Shit. That makes me so happy.
207
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,830
Like, for so long, everyone used to
make fun of me
208
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:24,206
for my bony arms.
209
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:25,249
Same!
210
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,876
I was always too thin.
211
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:29,211
They called me "Bony Bonnie."
212
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,297
They called me "Clavicle Katie."
213
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,100
But reading
about someone like you
214
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,925
finding things to love about your body?
215
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,511
I mean, clearly we have no excuse.
216
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:38,721
If you can do it,
217
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:39,930
so can we.
218
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:41,014
Yes.
219
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:44,851
Excuse me.
220
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:50,483
Oh, my God. I love her.
221
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,362
Hey, you're shaking like a leaf.
222
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:57,281
Oh, that's... that's, um... the AC.
223
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,699
I'm freezing.
224
00:10:58,783 --> 00:10:59,950
Oh, okay.
225
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,915
Better?
226
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,045
Much.
227
00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:14,090
Okay, come on, your turn.
228
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:17,842
Yeah, there you go.
229
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:26,184
What's wrong?
230
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:27,560
Nothing.
231
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,314
Hey, cool scar.
232
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,149
Oh, shut up.
233
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,193
No, no, no. Don't. Scars are awesome.
234
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,153
Look. I've got one too, see?
235
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,782
Oh, wow. How'd you get it?
236
00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:42,993
Being a drunk idiot at Bears in Space.
237
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,413
It's a party at Akbar.
238
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:47,330
Akbar?
239
00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:48,623
Yeah, the gay bar?
240
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:50,793
Have you never been?
241
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,963
Wow.
242
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,798
You're like some...
243
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,134
You're like some gay alien.
244
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:01,678
I love it.
245
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:11,772
Okay. Okay.
246
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:12,857
Interesting kisser.
247
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:13,983
- Was that bad?
- No.
248
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,317
No, not bad. Just...
249
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:17,528
Just go slower this time.
250
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,113
- Slower.
- Mm-hmm.
251
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,573
Yeah, I can do that.
252
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:21,699
- Okay.
- Okay.
253
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,508
You want to go for a swim?
254
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,301
Let's go.
255
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:55,733
So then I went to Penney's
256
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:58,444
to find a little outfit
for the nurses' luncheon.
257
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,530
I don't want to even go. It's never fun.
258
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,073
They serve the worst food.
259
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,159
Remember what I told you
they had last year?
260
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:07,328
Baked clams. Disgusting.
261
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:08,454
You need a knife.
262
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,664
So I did not find anything,
263
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:14,752
and I came back here
and I just put my feet up and relaxed.
264
00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,629
And I realized in that moment
265
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:21,383
that we have not spent a Saturday apart
in, like, forever.
266
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,469
And then I thought...
267
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:25,678
I miss you.
268
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:31,727
Mom, I'm moving out.
18092
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