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1
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:22,104
Do you need help?
2
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,190
I can go get my parents for you.
3
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:27,317
Nope.
4
00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:28,944
I'm fine.
5
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,160
Hey, you're walking funny.
6
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,579
You need to go to the hospital, mister.
7
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:40,915
That's not from my fall.
8
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:42,791
I have a thing.
9
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,129
It's called cerebral palsy.
10
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What's that?
11
00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:51,259
Cerebral palsy is a disability
resulting from damage to the brain
12
00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:53,553
before, during, or shortly after birth,
13
00:00:53,636 --> 00:00:56,681
and outwardly manifested
through muscular incoordination.
14
00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:09,152
The kid screamed at me.
15
00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:11,771
Usually when I tell people I have CP
they're just like,
16
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:14,491
"Gross," and then they're Gone Girl.
17
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:17,035
People don't really understand
your disability.
18
00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:18,870
It looks different on everybody.
19
00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:20,663
Simon says straighten.
20
00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:23,500
That ass is everything to me.
21
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,543
Hey, hey, focus.
22
00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:27,002
Yeah.
23
00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:28,713
Save that for Grindr.
24
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:32,008
I love that you think I have enough
self-esteem to be on Grindr.
25
00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,677
What would my profile even say?
26
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,846
"I'm gay and disabled.
27
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:39,474
But I promise not to drool on you
until the third date."
28
00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:43,144
There are plenty of drool
fetishists out there.
29
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:44,896
Flex your foot.
30
00:01:44,979 --> 00:01:47,107
I'm so fucking jealous of Bob.
31
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,108
Hey!
32
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:50,526
Ryan...
33
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:53,154
Bob has to use a catheter to pee.
34
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,531
I know, I just...
35
00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:56,491
It must be freeing to be...
36
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:58,451
so disabled.
37
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,621
Sometimes I feel like having a mild case
is like being biracial.
38
00:02:01,704 --> 00:02:05,500
You're saying, like, 15 different
offensive things right now.
39
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,836
I'm just saying I'm in limbo, okay?
It's like...
40
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:11,381
I'm not able-bodied enough
to be hanging in the mainstream world,
41
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:15,176
but I'm not disabled enough
to be hanging out with the cool PT crowd.
42
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,055
At least Bob knows where he belongs.
43
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,139
I hear ya.
44
00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:22,308
But you need to hear me.
45
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:24,518
You're lucky.
46
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,354
You're privileged.
47
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,690
You need to get over it.
48
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:29,773
Trust me.
49
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:31,567
I want to.
50
00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:35,280
But it's hard out here for a gimp.
51
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,009
♪ It takes a long time ♪
52
00:02:56,092 --> 00:03:01,055
♪ To find a love that feels so magic ♪
53
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,683
♪ So have a good time ♪
54
00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:08,479
♪ Because the world can be so tragic ♪
55
00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:13,234
♪ You will realize ♪
56
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,111
♪ You will realize ♪
57
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,946
♪ You will realize ♪
58
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:20,325
♪ You will realize ♪
59
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:25,079
♪ It takes a long damn time ♪
60
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,502
♪ It takes a long damn time... ♪
61
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:33,087
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, my God!
62
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:34,839
Oh, my God! You're bleeding!
63
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:35,923
What is...
64
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:37,467
Are you okay?
65
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:40,261
I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
66
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,473
This is not the way you want to look
for the first day of your internship.
67
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:45,850
Don't you just want to stay home
with me instead?
68
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:48,186
No, I'm not bailing on Eggwoke.
69
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,146
Who even reads that site?
70
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,440
It's just...
It's a bunch of silly articles.
71
00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:54,067
It's not silly, okay.
72
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:56,319
It's brilliant, millennial, LOLzy satire.
73
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:57,737
And it's a big deal.
74
00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,197
It's unpaid.
75
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,198
Rude!
76
00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:01,741
I'm sorry. I just...
77
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,953
I've just been a bit worried about you
since the accident.
78
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,664
Mom, I fractured an elbow, okay?
79
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:10,250
As far as car accidents go,
it was pretty chill.
80
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,585
Yeah... What about your CP?
81
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:15,463
Because they're gonna ask you
to do these difficult things,
82
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,382
like... like faxing and printing.
83
00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:20,677
Yeah, well, thank God no one's faxed
since the '90s.
84
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,220
Here.
85
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,889
Mom, it's time for me to challenge myself.
86
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,350
Be more of an independent woman.
87
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,519
I mean, imagine if I had died
when that car hit me.
88
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,938
No, I'm not going there.
89
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:35,733
I'm just saying, my obituary
would've been Bleak Lively, okay?
90
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:37,527
I'm 28 years old and...
91
00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:40,113
I haven't done a goddamn thing.
92
00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:42,240
I just...
93
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,325
love you so much!
94
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:47,161
Okay.
95
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,412
I love you.
96
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,169
Okay, you guys, listen up.
97
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,505
I need viral content now.
98
00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,882
Samantha, remember when you told everyone
99
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,552
about the unexpected orgasm you had
during your abortion?
100
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:04,679
Um... Actually that was just to you
101
00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:06,973
and it was in complete confidence.
102
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:08,933
Oh, my God.
103
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,351
Oops?
104
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:14,188
Um... Okay, well, now that I've freed you
from the shame of your secret,
105
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,440
can you, like...
106
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,859
Can you write about it? Or...
107
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,364
Sorry, hun.
Cedar-Sinai's around the corner.
108
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,366
This is, uh, Eggwoke, right?
109
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:28,618
I'm Ryan.
110
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:29,828
The intern.
111
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:32,372
Sit.
112
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,338
Excuse me.
113
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,139
All right.
114
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,641
Give me a story pitch.
115
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,017
Oh. Already?
116
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:54,770
Okay.
117
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:56,356
How about...
118
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:57,481
um...
119
00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:58,732
this.
120
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,902
"Local depressed barista
121
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:03,780
found living in the Mason jar."
122
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,449
You know, like the hipster version.
123
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,202
Of The Bell Jar.
124
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:10,619
Sad.
125
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,038
I'm putting you on mail duty.
126
00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:13,790
- Listen, Cheyenne.
- Ryan.
127
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:17,001
Eggwoke is undergoing
a little creative face-lift right now.
128
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,128
So, the humor pieces were cute,
129
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,964
but they didn't resonate
with a larger audience of basics.
130
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,467
So instead we've started publishing
confessional essays,
131
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,302
like "50 Ways to Hate Myself,"
132
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,138
or "Why Do I Keep Finding Things
Inside My Vagina?"
133
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:33,643
So, does anyone else have anything
we can write about?
134
00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:39,816
Kim, hun, can you just write another post
about loving your curves or whatever?
135
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,692
Anything for you, Olivia.
136
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,152
Okay, everyone,
137
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,571
pay attention and get jealous of Kim.
138
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,491
Her posts always have the most traffic.
And why?
139
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:50,618
Oh, because I'm a talented, badass bitch
140
00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:52,870
who's changing the way
we talk about women's bodies.
141
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,789
And don't you forget it, hun.
142
00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,044
Back to work.
143
00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,391
Hey, new girl.
144
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:14,809
You need some help?
145
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,186
Oh, I'm fine. Thank you.
146
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,192
Okay, well, how about we take a break
and go to lunch, huh?
147
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:26,070
Like, together?
148
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,657
I mean, I guess you could walk
five paces behind me
149
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,534
if you don't want the office to talk.
150
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:32,909
I'm Kim.
151
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:34,911
Hi.
152
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,371
I'm Ryan.
153
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:37,999
I like that shirt.
154
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:39,834
It's very picnic chic.
155
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,293
Thank you.
156
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:42,837
Let's go.
157
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:46,883
I'm just so confused.
158
00:07:47,383 --> 00:07:50,386
I mean, I had no idea that my job
depended on exposing my life
159
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,472
to these Marlon Randos on the internet.
160
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:55,391
Well, I haven't totally hated
the new editorial vibe.
161
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,769
I mean, it's gross and Olivia is
definitely exploiting us for pageviews.
162
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:00,688
Thanks.
163
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:03,191
Oh, did you already pay?
'Cause I can put money down.
164
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,233
Please.
165
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:06,943
You're an intern.
166
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,638
You get paid in yogurt.
167
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,447
Thank you.
168
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,449
Listen,
169
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:15,495
I know writing personal shit is scary,
but it can actually be kind of healing.
170
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:19,248
It's like once you just own everything,
no one can take anything away from you.
171
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,917
Yeah, well, I don't know.
172
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,376
I lease, so...
173
00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:24,587
Besides, my life is...
174
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,590
really, really boring. Okay?
175
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:28,673
I mean,
176
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,510
I don't know what I'd write about.
177
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:33,012
Oh, there's things, there's always things.
178
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,473
Oh! I was hit by a car.
179
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:36,891
Oh, my God.
180
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:39,601
That makes sense.
181
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,271
So, are you okay?
182
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,355
Uh-huh.
183
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,358
Well, what happened?
184
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:46,901
Oh, it just grazed my elbow.
185
00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:47,985
And then I survived.
186
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,445
And then it was the end.
187
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,489
See? Even that's boring.
188
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,826
Should we go?
I don't want Olivia to be mad at me.
189
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,079
- Sure.
- Okay.
190
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:06,170
Do you mind?
191
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,254
Oh, it's okay.
192
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:08,672
I'm sorry.
193
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:12,593
Okay, off to work.
194
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,264
Yeah, this actually used to be
a meat factory
195
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:17,747
and now it's our office.
196
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:20,935
Did Edward Scissorhands open my mail?
What is wrong with you?
197
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:24,522
I'm sorry, Olivia.
I promise you I know how to open mail.
198
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,065
It's just, I have a...
199
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:28,484
dexterity issue.
200
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,819
Were you homeschooled?
201
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:34,991
Don't let her get to you.
202
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,326
There's a half-eaten Luna Bar
where her heart should be.
203
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,620
I'm not.
It's gonna be fine.
204
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:44,916
Okay.
205
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,222
Hey, Ry.
206
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:00,182
Ry, why don't you take a break?
207
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,810
Because you don't really need
to learn how to do that.
208
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:03,893
Yes, I do.
209
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:05,816
My boss already thinks
something's wrong with me
210
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:08,357
because I don't know how to do
basic shit like open...
211
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,109
mail.
212
00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:12,278
Why don't you tell her about your CP?
213
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,030
I'm sure she'll give you a break
214
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:16,282
and then you can focus on
pitching articles.
215
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:19,052
I don't think writing
a confessional essay about the time
216
00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:22,288
I ditched school to play mini golf with
my mom will set the internet on fire.
217
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:23,706
That was fun!
218
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:24,789
I know.
219
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:26,792
Those fucking corn dogs they sell there.
220
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,794
Better than they need to be.
221
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:31,714
I have an idea.
222
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,593
Why don't you write an article
about your disability?
223
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,010
No.
224
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:38,596
Write about CP?
225
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,182
Mom, you don't get it.
226
00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:43,934
My whole life, CP has been
like the main course,
227
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:46,646
when really,
it just needs to be like an appetizer.
228
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:50,441
Or, better yet, just taken off the menu
altogether.
229
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,361
Your disability is part of you.
230
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:55,112
It's what makes you...
231
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:56,197
Special.
232
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:59,367
I know. And I should embrace it.
233
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,326
I know.
234
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:03,995
Ugh.
235
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:13,214
It's called a "receptionist,"
not a "deceptionist."
236
00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:15,091
Stop fucking lying to me.
237
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:17,258
Hey, Olivia.
238
00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:19,470
Um... Nice outfit.
239
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,180
I know. That's why I wore it.
240
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:26,852
Listen, I've been thinking about
what it is that I can write about here
241
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,271
and, um, I have something.
242
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:32,233
It's very personal,
but it's hard for me to...
243
00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:33,317
Hold on a sec.
244
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:37,863
I owe you such a big apology
for acting like a heinous bitch yesterday.
245
00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:40,616
Oh. That's fine.
246
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:41,575
No.
247
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:43,452
Kim told me about you
getting hit by a car,
248
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,455
and as a fellow victim,
I'd like to offer my condolences.
249
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,832
God, you were hit by a car, too?
250
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:49,250
God, no.
251
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:51,127
But I could be. We all could be.
252
00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:52,962
Especially Samantha.
253
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:54,588
She has zero spatial awareness.
254
00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:57,550
Anyway, it all makes so much sense now.
255
00:11:57,633 --> 00:12:00,094
Your inability to open mail,
your sad limp.
256
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:02,739
- Oh, my limp is actually kind of...
- Are you ever gonna get better?
257
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:05,599
Or is this just, like, it for you?
258
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,233
Yeah.
259
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:17,194
This is it for me.
260
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,865
All from the getting hit by a car.
261
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:22,490
Wow.
262
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,994
Everybody! Come hug Ryan!
263
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:28,080
He was hit by a car
and now he has a weird, sad limp forever!
264
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,415
Thank you so much.
265
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:31,875
Thank you.
266
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:33,753
I hope you don't mind.
267
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:36,964
I couldn't just let Olivia punish you
for something you couldn't do.
268
00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:38,883
Kim, it's fine.
269
00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:40,216
Okay.
270
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:42,510
Thank you.
271
00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:43,888
Thanks so much.
272
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:47,125
Okay, that's great. That's enough.
Thank you. Back to work.
273
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,519
You need to write about
getting hit by car.
274
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,980
Pieces about traumatic experiences
do amazing.
275
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,064
Absolutely.
276
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,983
Let the healing begin.
19216
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