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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,600 SUSAN: And that's the news. 2 00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:13,600 But before we sign off, we'd like to congratulate our very own Evan Baxter, 3 00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:17,500 who has just been elected Buffalo's representative to Congress. 4 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:18,900 And, now, we have a surprise for Evan. 5 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,600 No, you don't. We do. 6 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,500 Oh, no. I really didn't expect this. 7 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,800 Here's a look back at his run for office. 8 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:29,600 What are we gonna do? 9 00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:31,100 ALL: Change the world! 10 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,200 That's right! 11 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,500 ALL: Baxter! Baxter! Baxter! 12 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:49,500 Hi. 13 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,000 ALL: Baxter! Baxter! 14 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,500 That's right! 15 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:01,200 I feel like that old Indian in front of all the garbage. 16 00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:07,700 So, for the last time, this is Evan Baxter for Eyewitness News. Good night. 17 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:27,500 GPS: Huntsville, Virginia. Prestige Crest, four miles. 18 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,100 What did we do before GPS? 19 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,200 Nothing. 20 00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:32,500 Guys, Dad's very proud of his new car. 21 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:37,200 Hey, I am proud of my new car. Look, I'm a politician now. 22 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:40,100 I'm in the public eye, and as you know, when you are in the public eye, 23 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,900 image is everything, isn't it? 24 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,800 EVAN: Here it is! Welcome to the good life. 25 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,200 Hey, guys, why the long faces? We're off on a new adventure! 26 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,400 It's just we're going to miss our friends. 27 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,300 You'll make new friends, better friends. 28 00:02:58,300 --> 00:02:59,500 Yeah, richer friends. 29 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:03,400 Do not mouth off to me, sir. I am the boss of you. 30 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:06,100 And let me tell you something, you guys are gonna love this place. 31 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:09,800 And you know what? I think there's something for our fishermen up there. 32 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,100 EVAN: Baxter family, this is what's called a scenic vista. 33 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:18,000 And I don't think the big man himself could do a better job. Pretty cool, huh? 34 00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:19,900 Hey, Dad, an iguana can stay underwater for 28 minutes. 35 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,000 What's that? 36 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,900 And a shrimp's heart is in its head. Really? 37 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,200 Okay, someone's had enough Animal Planet for one lifetime. 38 00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:27,200 Yeah, let's head out! Come on. The best is yet to come! 39 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,700 EVAN: Gentlemen, I have saved the best for last. 40 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,300 Look over to the right. That is your new home. 41 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,900 JORDAN: That's our house? 42 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,000 Uh-huh. JOAN: I don't remember it being this big in the brochure. 43 00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,400 Was it this big in the brochure? 44 00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:48,700 EVAN: Pretty amazing, isn't it? 45 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,400 There they are! 46 00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:54,000 Is this curb appeal or what? 47 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,600 Here we go! 48 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,200 Honey, I think you're blocking my photo. 49 00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:58,300 Sorry. 50 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,400 All right, everybody! Say "escrow"! 51 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,300 Escrow 52 00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:06,200 RYAN: Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Go. Go. Go. 53 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,700 EVAN: Guys, easy. 54 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,300 This is our house? 55 00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:15,500 MAN: Careful! 56 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:17,400 JOAN: Honey, be careful! EVAN: Watch it! 57 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:18,600 Are you kidding me? 58 00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:19,900 Mom, can we go upstairs? JOAN: Yep. 59 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,400 And I get my own room, right? Yep. 60 00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:25,500 Mr. Baxter, could you give us some direction on these kitchen cabinets? 61 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:26,600 Sure. 62 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:31,200 Okay, it's between your maple and your old-growth Brazilian cherry. 63 00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:33,200 That is nice! Which is best? 64 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,300 Well, if you're not sensitive to that "save the rainforest" stuff, 65 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,800 you can't beat the Brazilian cherry. 66 00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:39,100 It's 200, 300 years old. 67 00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,700 Three hundred years. Three hundred. 68 00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:42,300 Wow. That is old. 69 00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:44,600 And now you are going to hold my dishes. 70 00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:46,400 That's right. You going with the cherry? Cheery cherry! 71 00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:48,000 Yeah. Definitely. He's going with the cherry! 72 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,300 RYAN: Dad, look! 73 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,700 No, no, no! 74 00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:54,200 Ryan, do not touch him, please! 75 00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:55,800 Oh, no, no, no, no, get him away! 76 00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:58,200 No. He might have lice, fleas, maggots or something. 77 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,000 You do not play with stray dogs because they are very... 78 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:03,400 No, no! Get away, get away! Go! 79 00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:05,600 Okay. Oh, no, no, no. 80 00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,100 He's thirsty. No, no, no. 81 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,100 No, you don't! There we go. 82 00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:11,800 Well, Ryan, he's a stray. 83 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,300 If we give him water, he's just going to come back. 84 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,900 Come on, Dad, why can't we keep him? I mean, we've got a new house. 85 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,900 Okay, Ryan, this is why we can't keep him. 86 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,600 They are stinky. They are smelly. They get hair all over the place. 87 00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:22,900 They get a little thing called the mange. 88 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,000 In a nutshell, he is disgusting. Case in point. 89 00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:34,200 EVAN: Ladies and gentlemen, this concludes day one 90 00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:35,800 of the Baxters' new and exciting life. 91 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,200 I have to do the new house dance. 92 00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:40,800 Wow! That dance? 93 00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:42,400 Mmm-hmm. That's a good new house dance. 94 00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:43,800 Thank you. 95 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,000 You know, those boys were having so much fun tonight, 96 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,100 I thought I would never get them to bed. 97 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:52,800 And then Ryan did the cutest thing. He asked if we could all pray together. 98 00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:55,900 Really? What did you pray about? 99 00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:58,000 He met a dog. What do you think he prayed for? 100 00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:00,000 (EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST) 101 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,800 Just a walking petri dish, that dog. 102 00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:05,100 And Jordan was very precise. 103 00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:08,900 He prayed for good visibility, good weather on the hiking trip tomorrow. 104 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,300 The hiking trip? Oh, right. Yeah. The hiking trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 105 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,300 You wanna know what I prayed for? 106 00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:16,200 Yeah. What did you pray for? 107 00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:19,400 I prayed we would become closer as a family. 108 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:25,100 Honey, you don't need to pray for that to happen. I will make that happen. 109 00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:26,100 (SIGHING) 110 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,300 What would you pray for? 111 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,900 Me? I don't know. Praying just... 112 00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:32,700 (SIGHING) 113 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,600 Honey, you're the one who said you wanted to change the world. 114 00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:39,000 It's a pretty big job. 115 00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:41,600 If it were me, I would take all the help I could get. 116 00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:47,100 (CROWD CHEERING) 117 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,300 WOMAN OVER TV: Former Buffalo News anchor, Evan Baxter, takes office tomorrow 118 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,700 to make good on a lofty campaign promise. 119 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:53,900 What are we going to do? 120 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,300 ALL: Change the world! 121 00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:58,800 WOMAN OVER TV: Good luck, Congressman. Many have tried, many have failed. 122 00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:00,100 Hello! 123 00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:02,000 This is Regina Sparks reporting for... 124 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:06,900 (SIGHING) 125 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,400 (CLEARING THROAT) 126 00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,300 Hello, there. Hi. 127 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,700 This is Evan Baxter. 128 00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:28,800 Just wanted to say thank you for everything. 129 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:32,700 Thank you for the new car and for the house. 130 00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:35,700 The house is great. I love it. 131 00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:41,100 I mean, I picked it out, but you created matter and everything, so... 132 00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:48,100 I just wanted to say that I think Joan makes a good point, 133 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:52,700 and that I am now in a position of great power, 134 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:56,600 and I know that with great power comes great responsibility. 135 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,900 So, God, 136 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,000 (CLEARING THROAT) 137 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,200 Please help me change the world. 138 00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:12,000 Okay. That's it. I'm hanging up now. 139 00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:15,400 God bless... Well, you. Okay. 140 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,400 (ALARM RINGING) 141 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,500 What? That's weird. 142 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:41,600 What? 143 00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:43,300 I set the alarm for 7:00. 144 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:47,800 (MOTOR WHIRRING) 145 00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:52,000 (GRUNTING) 146 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,300 (SNEEZING) 147 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,000 (GRUNTING) 148 00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,500 I am successful. I am powerful. I am handsome. 149 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,200 I am happy, successful, powerful, handsome, happy. 150 00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:28,600 All right, everyone, wish me luck. The Congressman has left the building. 151 00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:33,500 All right, Baxter brood, I will see you later on this afternoon for the big hike. Yes? 152 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:34,800 EVAN: You psyched? Are you ready? 153 00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:35,900 ALL: Yeah. 154 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,200 Bye. See you. Good luck, honey. 155 00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:38,500 Bye, guys! See you later. 156 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:39,500 Later, gator. 157 00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:41,500 (EXCLAIMING) 158 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:42,900 Oh, gosh. 159 00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:45,700 Wow. Honey, did you order anything? 160 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:48,200 "Alpha and Omega Hardware"? 161 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,200 JOAN: Never heard of them. 162 00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:50,500 Me either. 163 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,900 What do we have? 164 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,300 (GASPING) 165 00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:55,800 What is this stuff? 166 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,000 Must have the wrong address. 167 00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,700 Yup. The wrong address. 168 00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,500 WOMAN: Congressman Baxter. Good morning. Good morning. 169 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,000 MAN 1: Good morning, Congressman Baxter. Hello. 170 00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:10,500 MAN 2: Good morning, Congressman Baxter. Good morning. 171 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,600 Oh, this is so cool. 172 00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:16,700 Uh-huh. 173 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,600 Yeah. This'll work. 174 00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:22,600 There he is! The head honcho. The big kahuna. 175 00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:24,600 Rita, I think I have to do the dance. 176 00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:25,900 Do the dance. 177 00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:27,300 (GRUNTING) 178 00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:30,800 That's enough of the dance. 179 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,000 Oh, this is nice! This is really nice! 180 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,700 This is too nice. There's something crooked going on. 181 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,000 Do you smell anthrax? 182 00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,000 Congressman! Hey, Marty! 183 00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:40,500 Nice sound to that. I like it. 184 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:41,500 Here they are! 185 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:42,600 (ALL CHEERING) 186 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:43,800 All right. 187 00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:45,600 You remember Sarah, Allen, Michael. 188 00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:48,400 I don't think you know the new kid Eugene Tennanbaum. I found him at G.W. 189 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:51,600 Sort of a walking search engine. Watch this. How many stars on the flag in 1818? 190 00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:52,700 15. 191 00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:54,700 And Congressman Baxter's coffee habits? 192 00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:57,800 He likes a morning latte with a cruller, a decaf espresso after lunch, 193 00:10:57,900 --> 00:10:59,500 served sans pastry of any kind. 194 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,200 Very impressive. A little freaky, but I like this kid. 195 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:03,900 (LAUGHING) I love you. 196 00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:05,900 Hmm? 197 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,900 I mean, we should hang out socially. I just got a ping-pong table. 198 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,500 Not going to happen. 199 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,800 Go find out where his license plates are. Everybody else, back to your holes. 200 00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:15,900 EUGENE: He was actually right. 201 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,800 I'm doing a background check on that kid. 202 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:22,600 Ta-da! This, my friend, is a power office, to remind you of the mission! 203 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,100 BOTH: "Change the world!" 204 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,900 Okay, Evan, who do you know? What do you mean? 205 00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,900 Oh, come on. Yesterday we're in the basement. 206 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,800 Today, look at this place. It's like the Emerald City! 207 00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:33,200 "Enjoy your office. Your neighbor, Congressman Long." 208 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,500 Congressman Long did this? Did you say "neighbor"? 209 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,400 That's right. He lives in Prestige Crest, right up the street. 210 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:42,300 Evan, you got to tell me these things. Think of the publicity angle on this! 211 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,800 You and Congressman Long having a barbecue. 212 00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,800 Congressman Long eating your hot dog. 213 00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:48,500 RITA: Hate to break up your little weenie roast. 214 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,300 Congressman Long's assistant just dropped this off. 215 00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:52,700 The Congressman would like for you 216 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,000 to junior cosponsor this bill that he's introducing. 217 00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:59,400 Hold on. Congressman Long asked us to junior cosponsor his bill? What's the bill? 218 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:02,100 The Citizens' Integration of Public Lands Act. 219 00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:05,400 Never heard of it. Gene, here, now. Rita, why didn't you tell me about this? 220 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,600 I just did. 221 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,300 You need to tell me about it before I need to know about it. 222 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,500 Marty, you are not the vice congressman. I am the legislative... 223 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,400 Nobody voted for you. If Evan gets shot in the head, you do not automatically... 224 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,400 If Evan got shot in the head, you're the first suspect. 225 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,500 Play nice. Play nice. 226 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,600 All right, Eugene, Congressman Long's bill. What is it? 227 00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:22,700 HR7124, better known as CINPLAN. 228 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,500 The bill would open up fringe areas of the national parks for development. 229 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:26,900 Long's been sitting on it for ages... 230 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,100 Got it. Pause. Come on, Evan, this is huge. 231 00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:30,600 You hitch your wagon to the right star, 232 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,900 you could ride all the way down to Pennsylvania Avenue. 233 00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:34,300 This is day one. 234 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,600 You got your name on a major piece of legislation! 235 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,600 Oh, and another thing, he wants you to read it today. 236 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,300 Well, I can't do it today. 237 00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:42,500 I promised my kids... Eugene. 238 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,500 Well, sir, there's a time clock on the bill. 239 00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:46,600 If Congressman Long wants to pass it this quarter, 240 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,800 he's going to have to introduce it to the committee immediately. 241 00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:51,500 I'm personally going with whatever Congressman Baxter decides, 242 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,500 because if I could be like one man, it'd be him. 243 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:55,900 Either him or Kareem. 244 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,100 Can I tase him? 245 00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:58,200 Gene! Heel! 246 00:12:58,300 --> 00:12:59,700 It'd probably be you. 247 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:03,500 Come on, Evan, this is it! This is why we came here! 248 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,500 It's world-changing time! 249 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,600 (EXCLAIMING) 250 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,700 Hey, anybody home? 251 00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:11,100 Come on. We're in here! 252 00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:12,900 Hey, guys. 253 00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:16,700 Dad, guess what? I got all your stuff packed up so that we can... 254 00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,200 What's wrong? 255 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,800 We're not going, are we? 256 00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:26,800 First things first. I have been asked to junior cosponsor a bill. 257 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:28,500 Yeah. 258 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,000 See? I told you. And you owe me five bucks. 259 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,500 Whoa, whoa, guys. 260 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,400 Hey. Hey, we said we would have to make sacrifices, right? 261 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:37,800 DYLAN: Yeah. Whatever. New house, same old dad. 262 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,900 Hey, I'm the one who has to read this thing! 263 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:44,300 Hey. Did you hear? Junior cosponsor of a bill. 264 00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:50,300 Okay, Ry, let's clean all this stuff up. Dad's got work to do. 265 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,500 (ALARM RINGING) 266 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,900 No. It's 6:14. 267 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:13,900 Of course. Voodoo clock speaks again. 268 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:22,500 What the... 269 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:27,800 Hey! Hey! Hey! No. Okay. 270 00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:30,900 Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa! What's going on? 271 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,300 I got a delivery for Evan Baxter! 272 00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:35,200 Yeah, that's not mine. I didn't order that! 273 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,000 I just deliver, guy, huh? You got a complaint, call the number! 274 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:43,000 No! Hey! Listen! We are 416, not 614! 275 00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:47,400 You've got the wrong house! You can't leave that there! 276 00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:50,000 Listen! Listen! 277 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,200 That's going to leave a brown patch! 278 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,100 I am a U.S. Congressman! 279 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,800 (MAN CHATTERING ON TV) 280 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:05,800 (PHONE RINGING) 281 00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:09,000 Dad, what are you doing? I'm watching this. 282 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,700 Genesis 6:14. 283 00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:16,100 Gen 6:14. 284 00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:18,500 Joan! Do we have a Bible anywhere? 285 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:28,900 Genesis 6:14. 286 00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:31,400 "Make thee an ark of gopher wood..." 287 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:33,400 Gopher wood. 288 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,500 GOD: "Go-four-wood." Get it? 289 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:56,000 Well, it's not really gopher wood. I just like the wordplay. 290 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,400 No, it's pine and maple. 291 00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:01,000 It was clear-cut from this valley to make room for all those houses. 292 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,700 Excuse me. Do I know you? 293 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,300 Not as well as I'd like. 294 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,700 I see you got my housewarming gift. 295 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,300 That was you? You sent those? 296 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,000 What are they for? Hey! Hey. 297 00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:16,700 Genesis, chapter six, verse fourteen. 298 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,700 I want you to build an ark. 299 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:21,100 You want me to build an ark. 300 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,400 Yes. 301 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:27,500 So that's why the tools. And you are responsible for the wood? 302 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,600 All right. Well, let's just start over. 303 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,100 (CLEARING THROAT) 304 00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,800 Hello, I am Evan... 305 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:37,400 Evan Baxter. Born June 15, 1962. 306 00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:38,900 Eight pounds, 11 ounces. 307 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:42,500 Mother's Carroll Ann Parker. Father, Eugene Evan Baxter. 308 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:43,600 (EXCLAIMING) 309 00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:46,400 You have internet access. Very impressive. Do you also have cable? 310 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,900 You're a clean freak. You care much too much about your outward appearance. 311 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,600 Your left nipple is a quarter inch higher than your right nipple. 312 00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:55,700 And when you were a little boy, you were afraid of Gumby. 313 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,300 Who are you? 314 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:00,800 I'm God. 315 00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:02,500 You're God? 316 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:07,800 Yes. And I want you, Evan Baxter, to build an ark. 317 00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:13,900 Okay. You know what? This conversation is a little thing I like to call over! 318 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:18,900 But I got to get going, because, frankly, I have an ark to build. 319 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,000 Busy, busy, busy, busy. Nice meeting you. Take care. Oh, and... 320 00:17:27,700 --> 00:17:29,700 All right, see you later! 321 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,500 Shake it off, Evan. It's over. The nutcase is gone. 322 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,800 I am successful, I'm powerful, I'm handsome, I'm happy. 323 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,100 Successful, powerful, handsome, happy. 324 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,300 (SCREAMING) 325 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,700 Get it out, son. It's the beginning of wisdom. 326 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,900 How did you get in here? I'm calling the cops. 327 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,900 Oh, no. No need! Look! Look. There's one right there. Right there. 328 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:55,400 Officer! Officer! Officer! Carjacker! Carjacker in the car! Carjacker in the car! 329 00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:58,300 (GASPING) 330 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,500 Careful pulling out. Pedestrian in the crosswalk. 331 00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:08,300 (EXCLAIMING IN DISBELIEF) 332 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:09,400 (CAR HONKING) 333 00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:12,500 (TIRES SCREECHING) 334 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,600 (STAMMERING) 335 00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:22,300 (ELEVATOR BELL RINGING) 336 00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:34,100 (EXCLAIMS) 337 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,000 Shake it off, shake it off! Shake it off, shake it off! 338 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,300 Good morning, chief! 339 00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:42,300 (EXCLAIMING) 340 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:43,600 Good morning, Rita. 341 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,200 You almost scared me to death! What's wrong with you? 342 00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:48,200 Nothing. Just sort of a weird ride in. 343 00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:49,300 Weird how? 344 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,800 It was just a weird ride in. 345 00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:52,900 Okay, well, thanks for clarifying. 346 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,400 Here's your mail and your schedule. Okay. 347 00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:59,800 And they finally fixed the phones. My new extension is 614. 348 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,200 614. 349 00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:04,600 Yeah. 614? 350 00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:05,800 Right. 351 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,000 You want me to write that down? 352 00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:10,900 I'd rather you didn't. 353 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,200 MARTY: Good morning. 354 00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,800 Hey, Long came through with that seat on the House Resource Committee. 355 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:18,400 You stuck in your thumb and pulled out a plum, my friend. 356 00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:20,400 Also, the new Congressional plates just came in. 357 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:23,900 Gene, plates, now. And Alex at the Buffalo office had her baby. 358 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,800 Boy or girl? A little boy. And here he is. 359 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,000 Just as cute as a button. Not bad for such an ugly woman. Weighed in at... 360 00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,800 Six pounds, 14 ounces. 361 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:32,800 How'd you know that? 362 00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:33,900 Lucky guess. 363 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000 (EXCLAIMING) 364 00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:40,000 Hot, hot, hot! Hot off the press! It's a joke. Here are your plates, sir. 365 00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:41,100 (GASPS) 366 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,400 MARTY: Those are rock-star plates, man. You can park anywhere. 367 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:44,500 You can't be sitting in a chair. 368 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,100 You've got a committee meeting in five minutes. 369 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:51,100 Come on, BMIC, Big Man in Congress. Evan Baxter, the shark on the move. 370 00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,300 (HAMMER POUNDING) 371 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,600 MAN: House Resources Committee is now in order. 372 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,800 The Chair recognizes the congresswoman from Tennessee 373 00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:05,400 to lead the Pledge of Allegiance. 374 00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:06,600 CONGRESSWOMAN: I pledge allegiance to the flag... 375 00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:08,000 ALL: I pledge allegiance to the flag 376 00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:10,800 of the United States of America 377 00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:14,500 and to the Republic, for which it stands... 378 00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:16,500 ...one nation, under me... ALL: One nation, under God... 379 00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:20,700 ALL: Indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. 380 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,500 How long do you want to do this, son? I've got all eternity. 381 00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:30,200 (ALL GASPING) 382 00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:31,600 (CLAMORING) 383 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,100 (WHISTLING) 384 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,700 Hey. You okay, young man? 385 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:41,800 What happened? You fainted. 386 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,700 Dropped like a leaf during the Pledge of Allegiance. 387 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,300 Chuck Long, Resources Committee Chairman. 388 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:50,000 Oh. Oh. Congressman Long. Yes. Oh, I'm so sorry about... 389 00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:54,200 Forget it! Many a man's been humbled by his first day in Congress. 390 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,600 So, how'd you like that office? 391 00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:57,600 Oh, it was great. Yes. Thank you, sir. 392 00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:59,800 Not bad for a freshman dorm room, huh? 393 00:21:00,700 --> 00:21:01,900 So here's the skinny. 394 00:21:01,900 --> 00:21:04,000 I'm bringing you into my land use bill 395 00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:07,200 because you strike me as the type of guy who knows how to hit the ground running. 396 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,800 Yes, sir. I read the bill, and it's great. I just had a few questions. 397 00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:13,000 Hey, I wrote the thing and I have a few questions. 398 00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:16,300 We'll get to the questions later. So, you with us? 399 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,900 Yes, sir. I'm in. Wonderful! 400 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,000 I'll need you to put that into a letter of intent, 401 00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:22,400 as soon as you're feeling up to it, of course. You get yourself better. 402 00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,000 Enjoy that office. 403 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,400 Thank you, sir. 404 00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:30,100 He's exhausted from reading that bill. I got woozy from just carrying it. 405 00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:31,500 Evan, sit down. 406 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:32,600 Evan, what happened to you? 407 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,900 You can't faint during the Pledge of Allegiance. It's un-American. 408 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,300 Oh, good. The doctor's here. 409 00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:37,400 Say "ah." 410 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,800 (GASPING) 411 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:42,900 Just go home, get some rest and start on that ark. You hear me? 412 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,100 (CHUCKLES) 413 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:50,200 Evan? 414 00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:55,100 O.K. God warned noah about the great flood was coming... 415 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,500 Noah build the ark for his wife and 3 sons... 416 00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:01,600 (CHATTERING) 417 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,800 The ark was 300 qubics long and 50 qubics high 418 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,900 (DOOR OPEN) Heyyy! 419 00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:11,000 What are you doing? Hmmm... 420 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:12,600 Going over Todd's Bill? 421 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,400 Yea...That's what i was looking at... Oh man... 422 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,700 ...there's a lot... ...a lot of research to do on it 423 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,400 You know David, you have every right to be freaked out 424 00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:24,500 I'm not freaked out, why would i be freaked out? 425 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,600 I'm freaking out, because of the future just listen you just got a new job ... 426 00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:32,800 ...and then with this freaking bill your working on... ...sofort and on and on... 427 00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:35,900 The name is stressed 428 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:39,000 Oh no honey, i've known you 20 years... ...i know your stressed 429 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,500 (KIDS CHATTERING) 430 00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:47,900 They're getting to much sugar in they're blood 431 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,500 Thank you honey -O.K. 432 00:22:52,700 --> 00:22:54,600 She's right This is cracy 433 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,900 I'm just stressed and you are gone 434 00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:04,700 Good Morning 435 00:23:04,900 --> 00:23:05,500 Good Morning 436 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,400 Good Morning, how are you? 437 00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:10,500 Somebody is in a good mood 438 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:15,300 I am, i thought about what you said and you're right, i need to get my head on straight 439 00:23:15,300 --> 00:23:18,800 Guess what? this weekend we're going on a Hike-ing trip 440 00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:21,700 Hurray... Yeeaa... high five it We're going on a hiking trip 441 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000 We're gonna have a rightess hiking trip 442 00:23:24,100 --> 00:23:26,000 Hey dad look! 2 doves that's supose to be good luck 443 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,100 Well today must be my lucky day 444 00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:32,200 Bye guys Bye bye 445 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,400 Good morning kitty Keep moving... break it up 446 00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:56,100 Hey! When you're on my lawn keep it in your pot! 447 00:24:01,700 --> 00:24:06,400 Ohh... ohh... hey! Thank's for sharing 448 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,300 (ANIMALS CHATTERING) 449 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,300 (BIRDS COOING) 450 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:15,600 (EVAN EXCLAIMING) 451 00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:24,300 MARTY: You're right on time. 452 00:25:24,300 --> 00:25:27,700 Long just called. He's on his way with the powers that be. Who are they, Gene? Talk. 453 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,900 Congressman Jim Dodd, head of Ways and Means. 454 00:25:29,900 --> 00:25:32,200 But don't worry, sir, he's definitely not "way mean." 455 00:25:32,300 --> 00:25:33,900 That's speculation. I don't know him personally... 456 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,200 That's too much, Gene. Who else? 457 00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:37,200 Congressman Richard Stamp, head of Commerce, 458 00:25:37,300 --> 00:25:38,800 and Bob Hughes is Transportation. 459 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,100 I have a draft of your support letter. 460 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,100 Sounds like a plan. Are you all right? 461 00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:43,100 I'm good. 462 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,000 You sure you're good? Okay. 463 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,200 Good morning, chief. Good morning, Rita. 464 00:25:48,300 --> 00:25:49,500 Are you okay? I'm fine. 465 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,400 You don't look so good. That's what I said. 466 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,400 You're all jumpy. Are you on that Fen-Phen? 467 00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:55,500 Guys, I'm fine. I'll be inside. 468 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:00,000 (EXHALING) 469 00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:06,500 (CAWING) 470 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:09,900 No, no, no, no. 471 00:26:10,900 --> 00:26:15,600 No. Okay. No, no. No. No, no. No. 472 00:26:16,900 --> 00:26:19,500 No, no, no. Oh, my gosh! 473 00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:24,900 Guys! No, no! Get out! Get out! Oh, my hair! 474 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,600 Gentlemen, welcome. What an honor to have you here. 475 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,000 I'm Marty Stringer. I'm Congressman Baxter's chief of staff. 476 00:26:30,100 --> 00:26:32,200 This is Rita Daniels, his executive assistant. 477 00:26:32,500 --> 00:26:34,200 RITA: Are you ready, sir? 478 00:26:34,300 --> 00:26:38,400 Just a minute. No, no, no, no. Dirty, dirty, dirty! Big one! 479 00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:41,900 Baxter's only a freshman, sir, but I think you'll find he is locked and loaded. 480 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,000 Good. Maybe this young stud can help me get these old mares on board. 481 00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:46,200 Oh, you'll be impressed. 482 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:48,800 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 483 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,900 Gentlemen, good to see you. 484 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:58,700 Do you want to explain yourself, Congressman? What is going on? 485 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,900 Oh, these 486 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,600 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 487 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,300 Are birds. 488 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,000 What are they doing here? How did they get in here? 489 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,800 Well, that is an excellent question. 490 00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:13,200 And my response to said question is, 491 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,100 they are trained 492 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,200 aviaries, sir. 493 00:27:18,300 --> 00:27:19,200 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 494 00:27:19,300 --> 00:27:22,700 Let me make you see what I'm talking about. 495 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:29,500 I can make any sort of movement, and they will not get off! 496 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:31,900 Do you have a point, Congressman? 497 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,600 Hey, guys, what's the point? 498 00:27:36,100 --> 00:27:37,300 What's my point? 499 00:27:37,300 --> 00:27:38,600 (EXCLAIMING IN PAIN) 500 00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:40,100 I'll tell you. 501 00:27:40,100 --> 00:27:42,300 The point is 502 00:27:44,700 --> 00:27:46,800 that man 503 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:51,500 needs to dominate creatures 504 00:27:51,500 --> 00:27:54,800 and, ultimately, man must 505 00:27:55,700 --> 00:27:59,200 dictate what happens in this country. 506 00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:03,100 (SIGHING) 507 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:04,500 God bless America. 508 00:28:05,700 --> 00:28:07,500 (BIRDS CAWING) 509 00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:08,800 I couldn't agree more. 510 00:28:08,900 --> 00:28:10,400 You have got to be kidding me. 511 00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:11,700 CONGRESSMAN: No, of course not. 512 00:28:11,700 --> 00:28:15,500 We lost a huge project last year because of the red-headed woodpecker. 513 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,500 Those environmentalists got so up in arms 514 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,500 over the potential disappearance of one stupid bird... 515 00:28:20,500 --> 00:28:21,900 Yeah, birds are stupid sometimes. 516 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,700 ...we lost over $25 million in business. 517 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,900 I see where you're going with this, Congressman. Good work! 518 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:31,600 Your little display has obviously hit a chord. Gentlemen. 519 00:28:32,500 --> 00:28:33,800 (LONG CHUCKLING) 520 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:40,800 From now on, let's keep the surprises to a maximum of, say, none. Understood? 521 00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:42,600 Yes, sir. Absolutely, sir. 522 00:28:42,900 --> 00:28:44,700 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 523 00:28:52,700 --> 00:28:55,900 Evan, that was brilliant. Risky, but brilliant. 524 00:28:56,700 --> 00:28:57,700 (MARTY EXCLAIMING IN DELIGHT) 525 00:28:58,500 --> 00:28:59,600 What the... 526 00:28:59,700 --> 00:29:04,700 I'll tell you one thing, these birds had a nice big meal before they flew in here. 527 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:06,200 You want me to get my BB gun? 528 00:29:06,300 --> 00:29:08,500 You know what I want you to do? I want you to open the door. 529 00:29:08,500 --> 00:29:09,600 Open the door? 530 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:10,800 Just open the door! 531 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,100 Close the door after I leave! Just do it! 532 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:14,200 Okay. 533 00:29:14,300 --> 00:29:17,200 One, two, three! 534 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,500 Man, if I get the bird flu, he is paying for my medical bills! 535 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:27,900 (TIRES SCREECHING) 536 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:33,900 (GASPS) 537 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,000 (TIRES SCREECHING) 538 00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:36,700 (SHEEP BLEATING) 539 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,700 Sheep! 540 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:39,700 (RACCOONS CHATTERING) 541 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:41,800 (GASPS) 542 00:29:44,900 --> 00:29:45,900 (HISSING) 543 00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,400 Oh, no. 544 00:29:55,500 --> 00:29:57,300 Oh, gosh. 545 00:29:58,100 --> 00:29:59,500 (EXCLAIMING) 546 00:29:59,500 --> 00:30:01,400 Go, go, go! Get out! 547 00:30:04,300 --> 00:30:06,200 (EVAN SCREAMING) 548 00:30:24,100 --> 00:30:25,100 (DONKEY BRAYING) 549 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,200 (COWS MOOING) 550 00:30:27,300 --> 00:30:28,700 Okay. No. 551 00:30:28,900 --> 00:30:30,100 (EVAN EXCLAIMING) 552 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,500 No. No. 553 00:30:35,300 --> 00:30:38,100 I'm not doing this. It's insane! 554 00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:40,300 No! 555 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,000 Enough already! 556 00:30:43,100 --> 00:30:45,500 See, if you had an ark, you'd have a place to put them all. 557 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,400 Why are you doing this? Why me? 558 00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:48,500 (HORSE WHINNYING) 559 00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:49,500 (SHEEP BLEATING) 560 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:53,000 It's not time yet. Go on. Go on. 561 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:54,900 Yeah, go on. 562 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,200 So how about it? Feel like living on the edge? 563 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,300 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 564 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,600 Beautiful, isn't it? I remember creating this valley. 565 00:31:12,500 --> 00:31:15,000 Notice how the mountains line up east to west. 566 00:31:15,100 --> 00:31:17,500 That's so there'd be lots of sunshine. 567 00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:19,000 Where are we? 568 00:31:19,300 --> 00:31:20,400 (CHUCKLING) 569 00:31:20,500 --> 00:31:22,200 Don't recognize it, eh? 570 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:23,400 No. 571 00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:27,700 This is where you live, son. This is Prestige Crest. 572 00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,500 I wanted you to see the original design. 573 00:31:46,100 --> 00:31:49,700 So, you're really him, aren't you? 574 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:53,200 You want more proof? I haven't done the pillar of salt thing in a while. 575 00:31:53,300 --> 00:31:56,900 That's all right. I believe you. I just... I don't understand why you chose me. 576 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,800 You want to change the world, son. 577 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,400 So do I. 578 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:08,400 What? Well, why an ark? I mean, that's like flood territory. 579 00:32:08,500 --> 00:32:12,800 You wouldn't do that again. You wouldn't do that. Would you do that? 580 00:32:12,900 --> 00:32:15,600 Let's just say that whatever I do, 581 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,300 I do because I love you. 582 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:23,500 Well, then you have to understand that this whole building-an-ark thing 583 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,000 is really not part of my plans here. 584 00:32:25,100 --> 00:32:28,000 I need to settle into my house. I need to make a good impression at work. 585 00:32:28,100 --> 00:32:29,500 (LAUGHING) 586 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:30,800 What? 587 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:32,400 Your plans. That's just... 588 00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:36,900 What are you talking... 589 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,500 We're talking about an ark, right? I mean, an ark? 590 00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:43,000 An ark is huge! I don't even know where I would begin! 591 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:44,900 Well, I hear that a lot. 592 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,600 People want to change the world, don't know how to begin. 593 00:32:52,100 --> 00:32:53,900 You want to know how to change the world, son? 594 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:57,800 One act of random kindness at a time. 595 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:07,900 Build the ark. 596 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,000 I'll tell you what. You build it, I'll fill it. 597 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:16,500 And if anybody asks, tell them a flood's coming. 598 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,100 Oh, and you might need this. 599 00:33:24,900 --> 00:33:28,900 Well, okay. Okay, so what do I do? I grab the wood and... 600 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,500 Well, okay. 601 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,900 You know, that's just cruel. 602 00:33:35,500 --> 00:33:37,000 Do you see him? 603 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:39,600 I don't see him. 604 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:44,100 "Building an Ark the Old-Fashioned Way." 605 00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:49,700 "God is the creator of the Heavens and the Earth. 606 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:54,700 "He lives in all things and has over six billion seven hundred million children." 607 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:04,800 (ALARM RINGING) 608 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:16,200 (EXCLAIMING) 609 00:34:16,700 --> 00:34:19,400 JOAN: Honey? You okay? You need something? 610 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,700 No, nothing. Just dropped something. 611 00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,800 (EXCLAIMING) 612 00:35:00,900 --> 00:35:02,400 Okay. Okay. 613 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:10,800 Yeah. 614 00:35:10,900 --> 00:35:13,900 There we go. Okay. 615 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:20,800 (EXCLAIMS) 616 00:35:20,900 --> 00:35:24,400 Come on. I mean, a beard? A beard's so dirty. 617 00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:27,300 Gross! 618 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,600 JOAN: Packing, so it would really help me out if you would... 619 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:30,700 Good morning. 620 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:31,900 Hey, hey, hey, good morning. 621 00:35:31,900 --> 00:35:32,900 (CHUCKLING) 622 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,300 Wow. 623 00:35:34,700 --> 00:35:36,900 What's with the scruffle, mountain man? 624 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:42,300 Oh, well, you know, I figured it was a weekend, and I thought... 625 00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:43,500 JOAN: What? 626 00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:44,600 (MUTTERING) 627 00:35:44,700 --> 00:35:45,900 (BOTH GIGGLING) 628 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,300 Honey, did I miss something? How long have you been growing that? 629 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:50,400 (DOOR BELL RINGING) 630 00:35:50,500 --> 00:35:51,600 I'll get the door! 631 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,300 Congratulations! 632 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:55,700 What are you talking about? 633 00:35:55,700 --> 00:35:58,600 The lots. You bought the lots next door! 634 00:35:58,700 --> 00:36:00,600 Hello! 635 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:02,600 Oh... 636 00:36:06,500 --> 00:36:11,100 And pulling the down payment out of your home equity? Very gutsy move. 637 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:13,400 I didn't do that, did I? 638 00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,000 You sure did. So what's your plan? What are you gonna do? 639 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,200 Turn them for a quick profit? Build them out on spec? 640 00:36:20,100 --> 00:36:23,800 Who wants champagne? Hip, hip hooray! 641 00:36:23,900 --> 00:36:24,900 (EVE WHOOPING) 642 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,400 You bought eight lots? 643 00:36:28,500 --> 00:36:30,900 Yup. I was going to surprise you. 644 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:35,600 "Surprise, surprise, surprise." Gomer Pyle. 645 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:37,600 (LAUGHING) 646 00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,200 What are you doing? We can't afford that. 647 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,600 Hey, Mom. John Lennon, good to see you again. 648 00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:44,300 Good to see you. 649 00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:45,500 (EXHALING) 650 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:49,200 And eight lots? What are you going to do with eight lots? 651 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,900 I don't know. Maybe I'll build a boat. 652 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:54,800 Did you say "build a boat"? 653 00:36:54,900 --> 00:36:56,700 It might be something fun for the family. 654 00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:00,000 We could take the boat, go sailing on the lake. 655 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,000 It'd be great in case it floods or something. 656 00:37:03,100 --> 00:37:05,100 What is going on with you? 657 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:09,300 You bought all those lots and you're talking about building a boat. 658 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,300 Yeah. And you grow this crazy beard! 659 00:37:11,300 --> 00:37:12,900 Is this, like, a midlife crisis? 660 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,300 It's not that bad! 661 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:15,400 It's not? No. 662 00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:17,300 Why do you think they call it a crisis? 663 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:18,600 (KIDS CLAMORING) 664 00:37:18,700 --> 00:37:20,600 Hey, keep it down, you guys! Okay? 665 00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:23,800 Oh, my God. 666 00:37:23,900 --> 00:37:25,200 Honey? 667 00:37:25,300 --> 00:37:26,600 Oh, my God. 668 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,000 Honey? 669 00:37:29,100 --> 00:37:30,100 (SNIFFLING) 670 00:37:31,100 --> 00:37:33,100 I know this sounds crazy. 671 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,600 I really think I need to do this. 672 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:41,400 Okay. 673 00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:43,800 Build your boat. 674 00:37:44,900 --> 00:37:47,300 Just don't take too long, okay? 675 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:52,600 Because we didn't leave our lives in Buffalo so you could sail the S.S. Depression. 676 00:37:58,300 --> 00:37:59,300 (THUDDING) 677 00:38:12,100 --> 00:38:13,300 Here we go. 678 00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:17,000 Gentlemen, I'm sure you're all wondering why I've assembled you here today. 679 00:38:17,100 --> 00:38:19,900 An Argentine lake duck has a penis as long as its body. 680 00:38:19,900 --> 00:38:21,900 Wow, that's huge. He must be proud. 681 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:26,200 So, I have come up with a little construction project for us this weekend. 682 00:38:26,300 --> 00:38:27,400 The whole weekend? 683 00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:28,900 The whole weekend. Yes! 684 00:38:29,100 --> 00:38:30,800 And maybe a couple weekends after that. 685 00:38:30,900 --> 00:38:33,100 I can do this. Help! 686 00:38:33,100 --> 00:38:34,300 (GRUNTING) 687 00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,300 How do I stand up with a piece of wood? Here we go. 688 00:38:37,700 --> 00:38:38,800 (JUST LIKE NOAH'S ARK PLAYING) 689 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,500 Oh, man. Okay, that's good. 690 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:41,600 (GROANING) 691 00:38:42,100 --> 00:38:45,800 Mother! Father! Sister! Brother! Wow! 692 00:38:45,900 --> 00:38:47,500 EVAN: Keep it straight. 693 00:38:48,700 --> 00:38:49,700 (GRUNTING) 694 00:38:50,900 --> 00:38:52,600 Hey, Dad, he's back! 695 00:38:52,900 --> 00:38:54,400 Ryan, no, don't do... 696 00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:55,500 Ow! 697 00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,400 Leverage it up! Leverage. Okay. 698 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,000 Just put some leverage. You got to put some body weight. 699 00:39:01,100 --> 00:39:03,100 Ready? One, two, three. Come on. 700 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:04,700 (WOOD SNAPPING) 701 00:39:04,900 --> 00:39:05,800 (EXCLAIMING) 702 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:07,100 (THUDDING) 703 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:08,800 Oh, I'm an idiot. 704 00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:12,300 "Nice to meet you, Mr. Congressman. Why do you have raw beef hands?" 705 00:39:12,300 --> 00:39:14,400 "Well, I'm building an ark." 706 00:39:15,700 --> 00:39:16,800 (GROANING) 707 00:39:16,900 --> 00:39:20,200 I got a boo-boo! I got a boo-boo! I got a boo-boo! 708 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:30,900 You ever hear of Home Depot? Here we go! Here we go! Oh, yeah! 709 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,600 (SCATTING) 710 00:39:32,900 --> 00:39:33,900 (THUDDING) 711 00:39:34,500 --> 00:39:35,400 (GRUNTING) 712 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,100 (GROANING) 713 00:39:41,100 --> 00:39:45,100 All right. So our little Marlboro Man moment didn't work out so well. 714 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,100 It's a disaster. I don't know how to build something like this. 715 00:39:48,100 --> 00:39:49,800 That's easy. Just don't. 716 00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:51,600 (EXCLAIMING IN PAIN) 717 00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:55,200 Wow. 718 00:39:55,300 --> 00:39:56,300 (PHONE RINGING) 719 00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:58,100 Hello. 720 00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:01,300 Yes, Marty. Your fearless leader is right here. 721 00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:03,600 Hey, Marty, what's up? 722 00:40:13,100 --> 00:40:15,700 Yes, I'll tell him. Thank you. 723 00:40:18,900 --> 00:40:21,300 I might need security. Thank you. 724 00:40:23,900 --> 00:40:25,200 Can I help you? 725 00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:26,600 Rita, it's me. 726 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:30,600 Why do you sound like Evan Baxter, but look like a Bee Gee? 727 00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,100 Okay. All right. 728 00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:35,500 Okay, that's great. It's longer. 729 00:40:35,500 --> 00:40:38,400 Oh, my God. It is you. 730 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,100 Evan, what happened? 731 00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:42,300 Did you fall in a mine shaft? 732 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:43,400 No. 733 00:40:43,500 --> 00:40:44,500 Did you just come out of a coma? 734 00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:45,600 No. 735 00:40:45,700 --> 00:40:47,900 Were you attacked by a werewolf? 736 00:40:47,900 --> 00:40:49,200 No, I wasn't. 737 00:40:49,300 --> 00:40:52,200 Well, if you were going for that rugged look, you overshot it. 738 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:53,800 You look like a bum in a suit. 739 00:40:53,900 --> 00:40:56,000 You need Super cuts and a shave. 740 00:40:56,100 --> 00:40:57,400 (EXCLAIMING) 741 00:40:57,500 --> 00:40:59,600 Right! Yeah. But I can't. It doesn't work. 742 00:40:59,700 --> 00:41:01,300 What do you mean, it doesn't work? 743 00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:02,700 It doesn't work! 744 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,500 What? Are you shooting up Rogaine? 745 00:41:04,500 --> 00:41:08,000 Rita, if Evan shows up... I'm sorry, sir. I'll be with you in just one... 746 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,800 Evan? Take it in. Take it in. 747 00:41:10,900 --> 00:41:12,600 Okay, yeah, to answer any questions you may have, 748 00:41:12,700 --> 00:41:14,800 I am going through adult puberty! 749 00:41:14,900 --> 00:41:17,300 This is all temporary. Why did you bring me down here? 750 00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:18,500 What was so important? 751 00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:20,300 What is so important? 752 00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:23,100 I've got a letter of intent here about Congressman Long's bill. 753 00:41:23,100 --> 00:41:24,200 You remember that, don't you? 754 00:41:24,300 --> 00:41:27,400 Well, you haven't been here and now he wants you to sign this in person, Evan! 755 00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,700 No, I can't do that. Nope, nope, nope. Not gonna happen. 756 00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:32,600 No. You can't do that. Not looking like that. You have to go shave! 757 00:41:32,700 --> 00:41:35,000 I can't shave, Marty. When I shave, it grows back out. 758 00:41:35,100 --> 00:41:38,000 That happens when you shave! But then you shave again! 759 00:41:38,100 --> 00:41:39,600 You have no idea. 760 00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,600 Evan, what is going on? 761 00:41:42,700 --> 00:41:43,900 I'm... 762 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,200 Building something. 763 00:41:51,700 --> 00:41:53,400 MARTY: You're building something? 764 00:41:53,500 --> 00:41:55,200 Well, I hope it's a barber shop. 765 00:41:55,300 --> 00:41:58,200 Guys, I can't let Long see me this way, okay? 766 00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:01,400 You're gonna have to tell him I'm sick. Just cover for me. Just help me out! 767 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:03,400 (DOOR CLOSING) 768 00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:07,600 Come on, Evan, be reasonable. You got to get rid of that beard. 769 00:42:07,700 --> 00:42:09,600 I need your face back. I need you back. 770 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,300 Can you at least tell me what you're building? 771 00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,500 I'm building a boat. You're building a boat? 772 00:42:13,500 --> 00:42:16,200 Look, you got to cover for me. I don't want anybody to see... 773 00:42:16,300 --> 00:42:18,500 Congressman! There you are! 774 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,600 Congressman Long, I, I, I, I... 775 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,600 Stop stammering, son. We all play hooky from time to time. 776 00:42:23,700 --> 00:42:27,500 I'm not gonna turn you in to the principal. Mostly because I am the principal. 777 00:42:27,500 --> 00:42:28,900 (LAUGHING) 778 00:42:28,900 --> 00:42:30,000 Very good. 779 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,500 What's with the veil? Did you get your new set of braces? 780 00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:36,000 No, no. No. That's hilarious, though. 781 00:42:36,100 --> 00:42:38,900 Would you drop that thing, son? I can't understand a word you're saying. 782 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:50,100 It's a wife thing, sir. 783 00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:51,900 Just trying to spice up the love life. 784 00:42:52,900 --> 00:42:55,300 She's a big Loggins and Messina fan. 785 00:42:55,300 --> 00:42:57,700 Keeping it fresh. Keeping it real. 786 00:42:57,700 --> 00:43:00,400 Would you excuse us for a moment? 787 00:43:00,500 --> 00:43:02,900 The Congressman and I are going to have a little chat. 788 00:43:06,900 --> 00:43:08,000 Come on. 789 00:43:08,100 --> 00:43:10,300 Nice, isn't it? Politics is dog-eat-dog, 790 00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,000 but if you survive, they give you a bigger den. Have a seat. 791 00:43:13,100 --> 00:43:17,100 So, tell me, Congressman, are you freaking out on me or what? 792 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:18,200 No, sir. 793 00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:21,500 Oh, come on, son. I hand you your first cosponsor ship of a bill, 794 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,900 and when you finally show up you look like the fifth Beatle. 795 00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,300 Now, you expect me to believe everything is hunky dory? 796 00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:29,200 Well, sir, actually, things have been a little more dory. 797 00:43:29,300 --> 00:43:33,400 Of course they are. I get it. You know anything about animals, son? 798 00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,600 The Argentine lake duck has a penis as long as its body. 799 00:43:39,700 --> 00:43:43,600 Although you probably already know that. Or have heard it. Not experienced it. 800 00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:45,800 You ever heard of the Arctic white wolf? 801 00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:46,900 No, sir. 802 00:43:46,900 --> 00:43:48,000 Top of the food chain. 803 00:43:48,100 --> 00:43:50,800 It's fast, it's smart, can fend for itself, but it chooses not to. 804 00:43:50,900 --> 00:43:52,400 It chooses to run with a pack. 805 00:43:52,500 --> 00:43:53,600 And do you know why? 806 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:54,600 No. 807 00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:57,200 The Arctic white wolf, Congressman, realizes 808 00:43:57,300 --> 00:43:59,000 that it is stronger as part of a group. 809 00:43:59,100 --> 00:44:02,100 Do you know what happens when one of these wolves decides to fend for itself? 810 00:44:02,100 --> 00:44:04,900 The pack kills the loner for the greater good of the community. 811 00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:06,700 Ouch, that hurts. 812 00:44:06,700 --> 00:44:10,000 Are you familiar with Jim Jenkins, the junior congressman from Tennessee? 813 00:44:10,100 --> 00:44:13,500 When I met Congressman Jenkins, he was fresh off the turnip truck, 814 00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:15,700 but now he's sitting on his own committee. 815 00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,900 Congressman Jenkins, Congressman Whitehall, Congressman Freeman, 816 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:22,700 they all have committee chairs because they all run with the pack. 817 00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:24,900 Now, you have to come to a decision. 818 00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:27,200 Are you gonna run with the pack or are you gonna lone wolf it? 819 00:44:27,300 --> 00:44:29,400 I am a pack man, sir. 820 00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:33,600 Good. I'm introducing the CINPLAN bill in 2 weeks. C-SPAN is covering it live. 821 00:44:33,700 --> 00:44:35,800 I want your full support and nothing else. 822 00:44:35,900 --> 00:44:37,000 Yes, sir. 823 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,200 Those fish are on you like bait on a hook. 824 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:43,800 Birds follow you. 825 00:44:44,700 --> 00:44:46,400 Fish follow you. 826 00:44:50,100 --> 00:44:53,300 Let's see if we can get some congressmen to follow you. 827 00:44:53,300 --> 00:44:55,400 Let's get this bill passed, shall we, Congressman? 828 00:44:55,500 --> 00:44:56,600 Yes, sir. 829 00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:00,400 Hey, fleabag, out of the way. 830 00:45:00,500 --> 00:45:02,500 Hey, Dad, I think there are more animals than yesterday. 831 00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:04,700 Well, let's not keep our audience waiting, shall we? 832 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:06,400 (MOOING) 833 00:45:06,500 --> 00:45:07,800 (SNORTING) 834 00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:12,100 Up, up. Push it up. Push it. We got it. We got it. Oh, yeah, yeah. 835 00:45:12,900 --> 00:45:15,600 Come on. Just let it go, just let it go. 836 00:45:19,100 --> 00:45:21,500 Dad, we can do this, but we're gonna need some help. 837 00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,800 I know. We just need something to lift those beams. 838 00:45:24,900 --> 00:45:25,900 (SIGHING) 839 00:45:27,100 --> 00:45:28,600 Like that? 840 00:45:28,700 --> 00:45:30,300 RYAN: Holy moly! 841 00:45:30,300 --> 00:45:31,300 (RYAN CHUCKLING) 842 00:45:31,500 --> 00:45:34,000 RYAN: This is so totally awesome! 843 00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,600 JORDAN: This is perfect. 844 00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:37,100 DYLAN: Dad, there's a note. 845 00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,000 Let me see that. 846 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,200 How does it work? 847 00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:58,700 RYAN: Dad, this is really weird. 848 00:45:58,700 --> 00:46:01,000 Repeat after me, "We are hamsters!" 849 00:46:01,100 --> 00:46:02,700 BOTH: We are hamsters! 850 00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:04,400 Leg power! 851 00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:06,000 BOTH: Leg power! 852 00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:07,800 And it's in! 853 00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:08,800 (WHOOPING) 854 00:46:08,900 --> 00:46:10,000 That's it. 855 00:46:10,300 --> 00:46:12,000 (REVOLUTION PLAYING) 856 00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:15,200 Hey, who has opposable thumbs? Anybody? 857 00:46:19,900 --> 00:46:23,000 You want to try this one? Make sure it's straight. 858 00:46:23,100 --> 00:46:24,700 RYAN: This is awesome! JORDAN: This is so cool. 859 00:46:24,700 --> 00:46:26,700 EVAN: Here we go. RYAN: Oh, my God! 860 00:46:27,100 --> 00:46:30,400 Yeah. Gotta do the dance. Come on, let's do the dance. 861 00:46:31,700 --> 00:46:33,600 We're doing the dance. JORDAN: Dylan, come on. Do the dance. 862 00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:35,400 EVAN: Come on, do the dance. DYLAN: I'm not doing the dance. 863 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:37,800 (EXCLAIMS) 864 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:39,000 Ow! 865 00:46:39,100 --> 00:46:40,100 (CHATTERING) 866 00:46:40,500 --> 00:46:41,600 Don't scratch! 867 00:46:41,700 --> 00:46:42,700 Stop it. Come here. 868 00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:46,300 EVAN: Insult to injury!1 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,600 SUSAN: And that's the news. 869 00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:13,600 But before we sign off, we'd like to congratulate our very own Evan Baxter, 870 00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:17,500 who has just been elected Buffalo's representative to Congress. 871 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:18,900 And, now, we have a surprise for Evan. 872 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,600 No, you don't. We do. 873 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,500 Oh, no. I really didn't expect this. 874 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,800 Here's a look back at his run for office. 875 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,600 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 876 00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:29,600 What are we gonna do? 877 00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:31,100 ALL: Change the world! 878 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,200 That's right! 879 00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:34,400 (ALL CHEERING) 880 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,500 ALL: Baxter! Baxter! Baxter! 881 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:49,500 Hi. 882 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,000 ALL: Baxter! Baxter! 883 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,500 That's right! 884 00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:55,700 (CLEARING THROAT) 885 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:01,200 I feel like that old Indian in front of all the garbage. 886 00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:07,700 So, for the last time, this is Evan Baxter for Eyewitness News. Good night. 887 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,000 (HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN PLAYING) 888 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:27,500 GPS: Huntsville, Virginia. Prestige Crest, four miles. 889 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,100 What did we do before GPS? 890 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,200 Nothing. 891 00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:32,500 Guys, Dad's very proud of his new car. 892 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:37,200 Hey, I am proud of my new car. Look, I'm a politician now. 893 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:40,100 I'm in the public eye, and as you know, when you are in the public eye, 894 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,900 image is everything, isn't it? 895 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,800 EVAN: Here it is! Welcome to the good life. 896 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,200 Hey, guys, why the long faces? We're off on a new adventure! 897 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,400 It's just we're going to miss our friends. 898 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,300 You'll make new friends, better friends. 899 00:02:58,300 --> 00:02:59,500 Yeah, richer friends. 900 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:03,400 Do not mouth off to me, sir. I am the boss of you. 901 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:06,100 And let me tell you something, you guys are gonna love this place. 902 00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:09,800 And you know what? I think there's something for our fishermen up there. 903 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,100 EVAN: Baxter family, this is what's called a scenic vista. 904 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:18,000 And I don't think the big man himself could do a better job. Pretty cool, huh? 905 00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:19,900 Hey, Dad, an iguana can stay underwater for 28 minutes. 906 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,000 What's that? 907 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:22,900 And a shrimp's heart is in its head. Really? 908 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,200 Okay, someone's had enough Animal Planet for one lifetime. 909 00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:27,200 Yeah, let's head out! Come on. The best is yet to come! 910 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,700 EVAN: Gentlemen, I have saved the best for last. 911 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,300 Look over to the right. That is your new home. 912 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:42,600 RYAN: Whoa! 913 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:43,900 JORDAN: That's our house? 914 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,000 Uh-huh. JOAN: I don't remember it being this big in the brochure. 915 00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,400 Was it this big in the brochure? 916 00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:48,700 EVAN: Pretty amazing, isn't it? 917 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,400 There they are! 918 00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:54,000 Is this curb appeal or what? 919 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,600 Here we go! 920 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,200 Honey, I think you're blocking my photo. 921 00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:58,300 Sorry. 922 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,400 All right, everybody! Say "escrow"! 923 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,300 ALL: Escrow! 924 00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:06,200 RYAN: Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Go. Go. Go. 925 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,700 EVAN: Guys, easy. 926 00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:10,600 (CHILDREN EXCLAIMING) 927 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,300 This is our house? 928 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,400 Uh-huh. 929 00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:15,500 MAN: Careful! 930 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:17,400 JOAN: Honey, be careful! EVAN: Watch it! 931 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:18,600 Are you kidding me? 932 00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:19,900 Mom, can we go upstairs? JOAN: Yep. 933 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,400 And I get my own room, right? Yep. 934 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:22,900 (YELLING EXCITEDLY) 935 00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:25,500 Mr. Baxter, could you give us some direction on these kitchen cabinets? 936 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:26,600 Sure. 937 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:31,200 Okay, it's between your maple and your old-growth Brazilian cherry. 938 00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:33,200 That is nice! Which is best? 939 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,300 Well, if you're not sensitive to that "save the rainforest" stuff, 940 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,800 you can't beat the Brazilian cherry. 941 00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:39,100 It's 200, 300 years old. 942 00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,700 Three hundred years. Three hundred. 943 00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:42,300 Wow. That is old. 944 00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:44,600 And now you are going to hold my dishes. 945 00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:46,400 That's right. You going with the ch58,000 --> 00:52:01,600 Making lemonade out of lemons. Pick up your phone! Come on! 946 00:52:01,700 --> 00:52:05,000 LONG: At its heart, this bill gives private citizens access 947 00:52:05,100 --> 00:52:07,100 to lands they technically already own. 948 00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:08,800 CONGRESSPERSON: Will the Chairman yield? 949 00:52:08,900 --> 00:52:09,900 Oh, look, there he is. 950 00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:11,200 Yup, yup, I see him. 951 00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:15,200 Access is just a word you're using to hide what's really going on here. 952 00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:17,800 This is about development, short and simple. 953 00:52:17,900 --> 00:52:23,000 Evan, what are you doing? You have a pony tail on your face! 954 00:52:23,100 --> 00:52:25,500 What you gonna do next? Cornrow your eyebrows? 955 00:52:25,500 --> 00:52:28,200 Development means the advancement of jobs, 956 00:52:28,300 --> 00:52:31,900 an increase in domestic commerce. If you happen to like those things, 957 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:36,300 I invite you to join myself and my cosponsors, Congressman Dodd, 958 00:52:38,500 --> 00:52:40,500 Congressman Hughes 959 00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:43,500 and Congressman Baxter. 960 00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:47,400 (PEOPLE GASPING) 961 00:52:47,900 --> 00:52:49,400 (ALL MURMURING) 962 00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:57,400 (GASPING) 963 00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:03,900 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 964 00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:06,800 Did you just do a wardrobe change? 965 00:53:06,900 --> 00:53:09,900 What do you think this is, the Oscars? You are not Whoopi. 966 00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:11,000 (HAMMER SLAMMING) 967 00:53:11,100 --> 00:53:13,500 LONG: Ladies and gentlemen! Please! 968 00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:14,600 (HAMMER SLAMMING) 969 00:53:14,700 --> 00:53:18,700 Please! Congressman Baxter has a tendency to embrace the theatrical 970 00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:21,500 in his support of this bill. Congressman, let me warn you, 971 00:53:21,500 --> 00:53:25,100 you are approximately 10 seconds away from committee censure. 972 00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:28,400 Oh, no. Hey, would anyone mind if I close the window? 973 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,300 (WOMAN SCREAMING) 974 00:53:40,700 --> 00:53:41,700 (ROARING) 975 00:53:42,500 --> 00:53:44,100 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 976 00:53:44,100 --> 00:53:45,200 (GROWLING) 977 00:53:56,300 --> 00:53:57,800 (HAMMER SLAMMING) 978 00:53:57,900 --> 00:54:01,700 LONG: Ladies and gentlemen! Please! These animals are trained! 979 00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:04,000 I've seen this circus act before! 980 00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:07,000 Congressman, I'm sure St. Francis would be envious. 981 00:54:07,100 --> 00:54:10,700 We, however, are not. You have five seconds. 982 00:54:10,700 --> 00:54:13,600 You march yourself and your little animal troupe out of here now 983 00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:15,500 or you will be forcibly removed. 984 00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:17,500 I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. 985 00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,000 Congressman! 986 00:54:19,100 --> 00:54:21,300 These animals are not trained. 987 00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:22,700 Congressman! 988 00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,100 I think they want me to save them! 989 00:54:25,100 --> 00:54:27,700 Save them from what, Congressman? 990 00:54:27,900 --> 00:54:31,200 Saving the animals, okay. I can roll with that. That's a good idea. 991 00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:40,000 The flood. 992 00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:42,900 A flood? Rolling out. 993 00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:44,700 CONGRESSPERSON: The flood. 994 00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:46,900 This has been the hottest, driest summer on record 995 00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:48,700 and you say we're going to have a flood? 996 00:54:48,700 --> 00:54:50,000 When might we expect this? 997 00:54:50,100 --> 00:54:52,200 September 22, midday. 998 00:54:52,300 --> 00:54:53,300 (CROWD CHATTERING) 999 00:54:56,100 --> 00:54:57,600 That's what I was told. 1000 00:54:57,700 --> 00:54:59,700 Might I ask who told you? 1001 00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:10,400 Not in front of all those people. Don't say it. Don't say it. 1002 00:55:15,500 --> 00:55:16,800 God. 1003 00:55:17,500 --> 00:55:18,500 (SOBBING) 1004 00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:24,400 God? You talk to God? 1005 00:55:25,100 --> 00:55:26,300 Yes. 1006 00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:27,600 LONG: And God is talking back? 1007 00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:31,400 Yeah. We hung out a little. 1008 00:55:31,500 --> 00:55:33,800 Well, time to update the resume. 1009 00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:36,200 Congressman, your name is being removed from this bill. 1010 00:55:36,300 --> 00:55:39,800 Obviously, the stresses of this office have proven too much for you. 1011 00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:41,200 Please have the congressman removed. 1012 00:55:41,300 --> 00:55:43,100 No. Please! You don't understand! 1013 00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:46,000 God commanded me to build an ark! 1014 00:55:46,100 --> 00:55:48,700 It's going to rain! There's going to be a flood! 1015 00:55:50,100 --> 00:55:51,600 Remove him now! 1016 00:55:51,700 --> 00:55:54,100 We have to prepare ourselves! 1017 00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:56,900 I need to finish the ark! 1018 00:55:56,900 --> 00:55:58,000 (HAMMER SLAMMING) 1019 00:55:58,100 --> 00:55:59,700 Remove him now! 1020 00:56:06,700 --> 00:56:08,600 Does this mean we're moving back home? 1021 00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:12,300 Home, Canada. One or the other. 1022 00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:27,700 Joan? I know you probably saw what happened, but I can explain. 1023 00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,600 Take the stuff to the car, guys. I'll be there in a minute. 1024 00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:38,700 Guys? 1025 00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:41,400 (DOOR OPENING) 1026 00:56:42,300 --> 00:56:47,400 I'm gonna take them to my mother's. Evan, I think you need help. 1027 00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:52,800 Joan, please. I'm not doing this. It's not me. It's him. 1028 00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:56,200 I went to that meeting in a suit, and he took it off of me. 1029 00:56:56,200 --> 00:57:00,000 Those animals are following me because of him. 1030 00:57:00,100 --> 00:57:03,700 God? Does God know he's destroying our lives? 1031 00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:06,300 Does God know he's going to get you fired? 1032 00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:08,200 Yeah! He's trying to get me fired! 1033 00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:12,100 He is trying to get me fired! 1034 00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:14,400 That way I'll have more time to work on the ark! 1035 00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:16,900 Because the rain and the floods are coming. 1036 00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:20,500 No, I heard you, Evan. The whole world heard you. 1037 00:57:20,500 --> 00:57:23,200 Joan, please, you gotta believe me. 1038 00:57:23,300 --> 00:57:24,400 (DRIZZLING) 1039 00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:30,400 There it is! It's happening! It's happening! It's raining! 1040 00:57:47,900 --> 00:57:49,100 Goodbye, Evan. 1041 00:57:51,100 --> 00:57:52,000 (ENGINE STARTING) 1042 00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:53,900 Joan! 1043 00:58:02,700 --> 00:58:07,200 I know! I know. Whatever you do, you do because you love me! 1044 00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:17,800 Do me a favor. Love me less. 1045 00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:20,300 REPORTER: Congressman! 1046 00:58:20,300 --> 00:58:23,300 WOMAN: Are you concerned at all about Congressman Baxter's tirade 1047 00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:25,000 and the adverse effects it may have on your bill? 1048 00:58:25,100 --> 00:58:28,900 The day it rains and floods and Congressman Baxter takes a ride on his ark, 1049 00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,000 that'll be the day I'll be concerned. Thank you. 1050 00:58:31,100 --> 00:58:33,500 (WAITING ON THE WORLD TO CHANGE PLAYING) 1051 00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:36,000 (BLEATING) 1052 00:58:36,100 --> 00:58:40,400 His name is Evan Baxter, but now he goes by "New York's Noah," 1053 00:58:40,500 --> 00:58:44,200 "Heaven's Evan," "The Weirdo with a Beardo." 1054 00:58:49,100 --> 00:58:52,800 Okay, guys. Watch it. Watch it. Coming through. Watch your back. 1055 00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:58,100 Marty, will you comment on Congressman Baxter's change of appearance? 1056 00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:02,300 Yes, his hair is long. Yes, his beard is unshaven. 1057 00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:04,600 Are you equally stunned by this man's appearance? 1058 00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:12,200 The way things go around here, 1059 00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:15,000 if he gets any crazier, we may end up in the White House. 1060 00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:20,900 (REPORTER SPEAKING SPANISH) 1061 00:59:21,300 --> 00:59:24,000 Hey! No, no, no! That's my cup! 1062 00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:26,900 Whatever. 1063 00:59:47,700 --> 00:59:51,200 He's filling the boat with two of every kind of animal. 1064 00:59:51,300 --> 00:59:54,700 Still to be collected, two giraffes, two elephants 1065 00:59:55,700 --> 00:59:57,300 and one more jackass. 1066 01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:01,700 What an idiot. 1067 01:00:01,700 --> 01:00:03,200 He's a mook. 1068 01:00:03,300 --> 01:00:04,500 Jerks. 1069 01:00:05,500 --> 01:00:08,100 Don't worry about it, you guys. Come on, eat up. 1070 01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:09,200 Not hungry. 1071 01:00:09,300 --> 01:00:10,400 Yeah, me neither. 1072 01:00:10,500 --> 01:00:12,800 You guys can't eat. I can't stop. 1073 01:00:12,900 --> 01:00:14,800 Can I go to the bathroom? Me, too? 1074 01:00:14,900 --> 01:00:17,500 Okay. Dylan, go with them. Please? 1075 01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:18,800 Fine. 1076 01:00:21,500 --> 01:00:23,500 Excuse me. Can I get a refill, please? 1077 01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:25,300 Coming right up. 1078 01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:27,200 Thank you. 1079 01:00:27,300 --> 01:00:29,000 Excuse me. Are you all right? 1080 01:00:29,900 --> 01:00:30,900 Yeah. 1081 01:00:32,700 --> 01:00:35,000 No. It's a long story. 1082 01:00:35,100 --> 01:00:36,200 Well, I like stories. 1083 01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:40,000 I'm considered a bit of a storyteller myself. 1084 01:00:41,100 --> 01:00:43,700 My husband... Have you heard of "New York's Noah"? 1085 01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,500 The guy who's building the ark. 1086 01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:48,900 That's him. 1087 01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:52,100 I love that story, Noah and the Ark. 1088 01:00:52,200 --> 01:00:53,800 You know, a lot of people miss the point of that story. 1089 01:00:53,900 --> 01:00:55,900 They think it's about God's wrath and anger. 1090 01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:58,600 They love it when God gets angry. 1091 01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:01,100 What is the story about, then? The ark? 1092 01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:06,600 Well, I think it's a love story about believing in each other. 1093 01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:12,300 You know, the animals showed up in pairs. They stood by each other, side by side, 1094 01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:16,700 just like Noah and his family. Everybody entered the ark side by side. 1095 01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:20,700 But my husband says God told him to do it. 1096 01:01:22,500 --> 01:01:24,100 What do you do with that? 1097 01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:26,000 Sounds like an opportunity. 1098 01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:30,300 Let me ask you something. 1099 01:01:31,300 --> 01:01:34,500 If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? 1100 01:01:35,100 --> 01:01:38,400 Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? 1101 01:01:40,100 --> 01:01:42,200 If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, 1102 01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:44,900 or does he give them opportunities to be courageous? 1103 01:01:47,100 --> 01:01:49,500 If someone prayed for their family to be closer, 1104 01:01:50,700 --> 01:01:53,600 you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings? 1105 01:01:54,500 --> 01:01:56,900 Or does he give them opportunities to love each other? 1106 01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:00,000 (GASPS QUIETLY) 1107 01:02:00,100 --> 01:02:04,200 Well, I got to run. A lot of people to serve. Enjoy. 1108 01:02:11,200 --> 01:02:14,200 JON: Guess this comes as no surprise to those who remember his campaign promise, 1109 01:02:14,300 --> 01:02:16,100 "I will lower taxes, 1110 01:02:16,500 --> 01:02:18,700 "go crazy and build a gigantic ark." 1111 01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:19,600 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 1112 01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:28,800 JOAN: Oh, my gosh. 1113 01:02:33,400 --> 01:02:34,400 JOAN: Evan! 1114 01:02:34,500 --> 01:02:35,600 Dad? 1115 01:02:35,700 --> 01:02:36,800 Honey! 1116 01:02:36,900 --> 01:02:37,900 Dad? 1117 01:02:37,900 --> 01:02:39,700 You guys, I'm up here. 1118 01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:56,400 (LAUGHING) 1119 01:02:56,900 --> 01:02:58,900 Rough week? JORDAN: You look really funny. 1120 01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:00,200 You look really old. 1121 01:03:00,300 --> 01:03:01,800 Yeah, well, he is really old. 1122 01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:05,200 Why'd you come back? 1123 01:03:05,300 --> 01:03:06,400 It was the kids. 1124 01:03:06,500 --> 01:03:07,600 Tell him, guys. 1125 01:03:07,700 --> 01:03:09,700 We like you better as the crazy guy. 1126 01:03:09,700 --> 01:03:12,100 You spend time with us and you're home a lot more. 1127 01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:14,800 Just, please don't make us do the dance anymore. 1128 01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:40,900 I don't know what's going on, or what you're going through, 1129 01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:43,400 but we got into this as a family 1130 01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:47,300 and we're gonna get out of it as a family, 1131 01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:49,800 side by side. 1132 01:03:57,300 --> 01:04:00,700 But, Evan, we have to talk about the ark. It has to come down. 1133 01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:02,100 I can't do that. 1134 01:04:02,200 --> 01:04:03,600 You don't have a choice. 1135 01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:07,600 JOAN: Congressman Long went to the city. There's a laundry list of code violations. 1136 01:04:07,600 --> 01:04:10,100 You have until September 22 to take it down, 1137 01:04:10,100 --> 01:04:12,000 or they'll take it down and arrest you. 1138 01:04:12,100 --> 01:04:14,100 September 22. That's the day of the flood. 1139 01:04:14,200 --> 01:04:15,700 Mom! Dad! Come here! 1140 01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:24,300 (ANIMALS CALLING) 1141 01:04:40,800 --> 01:04:43,200 Don't you dare take that ark down. 1142 01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:47,700 How are we gonna do this? 1143 01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:50,000 There's no way the five of us can finish on time. 1144 01:04:50,100 --> 01:04:52,200 We don't have money to hire anybody else. 1145 01:04:52,200 --> 01:04:53,500 (ALPACA CRYING) 1146 01:04:57,300 --> 01:04:59,200 Is that a llama with a hammer? 1147 01:04:59,300 --> 01:05:02,800 An alpaca. They rarely spit at people unless frightened or abused. 1148 01:05:05,300 --> 01:05:06,500 Let's finish this sucker. 1149 01:05:08,600 --> 01:05:09,600 (READY FOR A MIRACLE PLAYING) 1150 01:05:10,700 --> 01:05:11,700 (ELEPHANT TRUMPETING) 1151 01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:13,000 Come on, let's go. 1152 01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:14,400 WOMAN: No one knows where they came from 1153 01:05:14,500 --> 01:05:16,300 or how the congressman is getting them to do it, 1154 01:05:16,400 --> 01:05:22,300 but, two by two, animals of all kinds are working with Godspeed to build this ark. 1155 01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:23,900 Thank you. 1156 01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:27,200 If this flood really does happen, "Evan help us." 1157 01:05:28,800 --> 01:05:30,300 Hey! A little help? 1158 01:05:34,300 --> 01:05:35,300 Thanks. 1159 01:05:36,700 --> 01:05:37,800 JOAN: Here it is, hon. 1160 01:05:38,100 --> 01:05:39,000 (MONKEY GIBBERING) 1161 01:05:39,100 --> 01:05:41,800 Perfect. Thanks. 1162 01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:47,300 Hold it right there. 1163 01:05:47,400 --> 01:05:51,000 This is Ed Carson coming to you live from New York Noah's construction site, 1164 01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:56,100 where we are unable to leave the news van due to hazardous conditions outside. 1165 01:05:59,300 --> 01:06:00,300 High five. High five. 1166 01:06:00,300 --> 01:06:01,300 Good job. 1167 01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,700 Hey, putty tat. 1168 01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:07,700 (SHRIEKING) 1169 01:06:07,700 --> 01:06:10,600 Go, go, go! He tried to eat me! 1170 01:06:10,900 --> 01:06:13,600 Dylan! Jordan! Check it out! Your mom's building an ark! 1171 01:06:13,700 --> 01:06:15,000 Let's do the dance. 1172 01:06:15,100 --> 01:06:17,100 JOAN: No, please, No. 1173 01:06:18,700 --> 01:06:19,700 (HONKING) 1174 01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:21,700 WOMAN 1: Well, where did the animals come from, then? 1175 01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:22,900 WOMAN 2: Please. It's a trick. 1176 01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:24,400 WOMAN 3: It's a circus is what it is. 1177 01:06:24,500 --> 01:06:27,600 Wild animals running amok in suburban Virginia. 1178 01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:31,300 With all these species, what's being done about the feces? 1179 01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:42,700 Evan Baxter! You have gone from newsman to congressman to caveman. 1180 01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:45,300 What makes you so sure God chose you? 1181 01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:48,300 He chose all of us. 1182 01:06:57,700 --> 01:06:59,600 Time to wash up, you guys. 1183 01:07:06,200 --> 01:07:07,400 Thanks. 1184 01:07:10,800 --> 01:07:12,300 You want some? 1185 01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:35,700 RITA: Why couldn't the man just buy a Corvette? 1186 01:07:35,800 --> 01:07:40,000 Well, well, well. There they are. It is good to see you guys. 1187 01:07:40,100 --> 01:07:45,100 It's good to see you! Your hair looks great. It's very regal. Man, I love your hair! 1188 01:07:45,200 --> 01:07:46,600 And you're still sucking up. 1189 01:07:46,700 --> 01:07:47,700 So, why are you here? 1190 01:07:47,800 --> 01:07:48,900 Long locked us out. 1191 01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:50,000 He can't do that. 1192 01:07:50,100 --> 01:07:52,300 I mean, I've been suspended, but I'm still a congressman. 1193 01:07:52,400 --> 01:07:53,500 Rita, tell him what you know. 1194 01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:54,600 Tell me what? 1195 01:07:54,700 --> 01:07:57,500 I smelled a rat the second we got that office. 1196 01:07:57,600 --> 01:07:59,600 You don't get an office like that for nothing. 1197 01:07:59,700 --> 01:08:02,900 So I had the stalker here do some research. 1198 01:08:02,900 --> 01:08:04,100 Okay, Eugene, talk. 1199 01:08:04,500 --> 01:08:06,300 Prestige Crest used to be federal lands, 1200 01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:09,300 but what's interesting is how it got into private hands. 1201 01:08:09,300 --> 01:08:11,700 Congressman Long got the approval to build a dam 1202 01:08:11,800 --> 01:08:14,700 and then passed out the surrounding lands to a group of private investors. 1203 01:08:14,800 --> 01:08:16,100 Now, the locals fought this thing for years. 1204 01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:18,400 They said Long and his developer buddies were cutting corners, 1205 01:08:18,500 --> 01:08:20,800 like skipping important building code checkpoints. 1206 01:08:20,800 --> 01:08:23,900 And with the land use bill, he's gonna do the same thing with the national parks. 1207 01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:27,700 So, you stand by and shake your pom-poms while Long and his buddies get rich. 1208 01:08:27,800 --> 01:08:29,900 What can we do? I'm suspended. 1209 01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:33,400 Go back to the Hill and show them that you can and will fight this bill. 1210 01:08:33,500 --> 01:08:36,500 You guys, I'm sorry. I can't do that. I have to get back to the ark. 1211 01:08:36,500 --> 01:08:38,200 The ark? All right. Okay. 1212 01:08:38,300 --> 01:08:40,200 God told you to build an ark? Yes. 1213 01:08:40,300 --> 01:08:43,300 But did he tell you to make your friends believe in you and follow you here 1214 01:08:43,400 --> 01:08:46,500 so you can make us look stupid? 'Cause I go to church every Sunday. 1215 01:08:47,700 --> 01:08:49,000 Okay, every other Sunday. 1216 01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:53,500 I've been to church! And that does not sound like God to me. 1217 01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:56,000 Rita, I know that this doesn't make any sense. 1218 01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:58,700 I just want you to trust me. You just have to have faith. 1219 01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:03,400 Evan, faith will not fight this bill. The CINPLAN vote is today! 1220 01:09:03,500 --> 01:09:07,300 If we're going to stop this thing, you need to get down to Capitol Hill now! 1221 01:09:07,300 --> 01:09:08,700 Otherwise, it's impossible! 1222 01:09:08,800 --> 01:09:11,600 Dad, Dad, I think it's done. 1223 01:10:10,200 --> 01:10:14,400 What in the world? I can't even get my cat to use the litter box. 1224 01:10:55,800 --> 01:11:00,300 It's September 22, and we're all still here. 1225 01:11:00,300 --> 01:11:01,600 Awkward! 1226 01:11:01,900 --> 01:11:05,300 People! The flood is imminent! 1227 01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:09,000 Board the ark! Save yourselves! 1228 01:11:09,100 --> 01:11:10,500 MAN: Get down, you fool! 1229 01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:15,000 Listen to me! The time has come! 1230 01:11:15,100 --> 01:11:19,200 No, Captain Ahab! Your time has come! 1231 01:11:19,200 --> 01:11:20,400 (ALL LAUGHING) 1232 01:11:20,500 --> 01:11:25,200 Yeah, Baxter! The weather's 70 and sunny with a chance of crazy! 1233 01:11:25,300 --> 01:11:26,700 (ALL GIGGLING) 1234 01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:30,500 (RUMBLING) 1235 01:11:30,600 --> 01:11:34,800 Do you hear that? The rains are upon us! 1236 01:11:34,900 --> 01:11:36,600 Dad, I don't think that's the rains. 1237 01:11:37,900 --> 01:11:39,100 (SIREN BLARING) 1238 01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:43,700 MAN: Hey, Baxter! Kiss your ark goodbye! 1239 01:11:56,100 --> 01:11:57,200 Where is he? 1240 01:11:57,200 --> 01:11:58,300 On the boat, sir. 1241 01:11:59,300 --> 01:12:01,400 Give me a minute. Lets see if I can convince "Noah" 1242 01:12:01,500 --> 01:12:03,300 that the world doesn't have to end today. 1243 01:12:07,400 --> 01:12:10,400 I gotta hand it to you, this is quite the show. 1244 01:12:10,500 --> 01:12:13,500 According to my source, the show hasn't even started yet. 1245 01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:15,300 Still expecting the big flood. 1246 01:12:15,300 --> 01:12:17,600 You know, voters don't respond to the gloom and doom stuff. 1247 01:12:17,700 --> 01:12:19,200 They like a more positive message. 1248 01:12:19,200 --> 01:12:20,800 Like the one you're sending with your bill? 1249 01:12:20,900 --> 01:12:22,900 How much did you make off of all this land? 1250 01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:26,300 You are destroying our national parks for profit. 1251 01:12:26,300 --> 01:12:28,200 You have a problem with somebody taking a little profit? 1252 01:12:28,300 --> 01:12:29,800 It's called business, son. 1253 01:12:29,900 --> 01:12:32,400 So if I need to get a message out there, or get a congressman elected 1254 01:12:32,500 --> 01:12:36,500 there are people who pay for it, and yes, those people want this bill to happen 1255 01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:40,100 and, by God, it's gonna happen. Now you look down there. 1256 01:12:41,200 --> 01:12:43,000 Those are the wolves, son. 1257 01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:46,200 I'm gonna give you one last chance. Take down this boat. 1258 01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:50,000 I'm giving you one last chance. Repent. 1259 01:12:51,300 --> 01:12:55,200 Such a shame. You had possibilities. 1260 01:12:55,300 --> 01:12:59,100 But you want to stop progress to save the Earth. Go for it. 1261 01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:01,400 Good luck getting a tree to come to the polls. 1262 01:13:07,100 --> 01:13:08,600 Take it down. 1263 01:13:15,900 --> 01:13:19,100 This is a court order approving the demolition of this boat! 1264 01:13:19,200 --> 01:13:22,200 Evacuate immediately! You have three minutes! 1265 01:13:24,900 --> 01:13:29,100 Honey. We have to go. They're going to destroy the boat. 1266 01:13:29,900 --> 01:13:31,000 No. 1267 01:13:32,100 --> 01:13:33,500 It can't end this way. 1268 01:13:35,300 --> 01:13:39,300 Is it too much to ask for a little precipitation? 1269 01:13:40,500 --> 01:13:44,200 Honey, maybe God didn't mean a literal flood. 1270 01:13:44,300 --> 01:13:49,600 Maybe he meant a flood of knowledge or emotion or awareness. 1271 01:13:49,700 --> 01:13:51,300 If that's true, 1272 01:13:52,200 --> 01:13:55,400 I am going to be so pissed. 1273 01:13:55,500 --> 01:13:56,800 Two minutes! 1274 01:13:56,800 --> 01:14:00,300 Get off the boat now or you will be removed by force. 1275 01:14:00,400 --> 01:14:03,900 Evan, you did it. You built the ark. 1276 01:14:04,000 --> 01:14:05,400 That's all you were asked to do, right? 1277 01:14:05,400 --> 01:14:06,500 No. 1278 01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:11,200 There's something else. Something's going to happen. I can feel it. 1279 01:14:11,300 --> 01:14:14,100 Yeah, what's gonna happen is tear gas and a wrecking ball. 1280 01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:16,200 Evan, think of the kids. 1281 01:14:17,300 --> 01:14:18,700 One minute! 1282 01:14:20,900 --> 01:14:23,000 Dad, whatever you say, I'm with you. 1283 01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:24,500 Yeah, me, too. 1284 01:14:24,600 --> 01:14:26,700 Me, too. But can we keep some of the animals? 1285 01:14:26,700 --> 01:14:29,000 I like the alpaca. He spits. 1286 01:14:33,500 --> 01:14:36,800 You're right. We did it. We built the boat. 1287 01:14:37,200 --> 01:14:38,200 Yeah. 1288 01:14:39,200 --> 01:14:41,600 Let's go. Let's go, guys. Come on. 1289 01:14:54,700 --> 01:14:56,400 EVAN: Well, I guess they don't want to go. 1290 01:14:56,500 --> 01:14:57,900 It's their instinct. 1291 01:14:58,000 --> 01:14:59,600 What do you mean, hon? 1292 01:14:59,700 --> 01:15:04,400 Some animals know when weather's coming. When they feel it coming, they sit. 1293 01:15:10,300 --> 01:15:11,800 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 1294 01:15:12,600 --> 01:15:13,700 Joan! 1295 01:15:17,000 --> 01:15:18,400 (THUNDER CLAPPING) 1296 01:15:23,100 --> 01:15:25,600 Okay. Time's up! We're coming in! 1297 01:15:25,700 --> 01:15:28,900 Get that ball in position! We're clearing them out! 1298 01:15:35,700 --> 01:15:37,600 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 1299 01:15:39,900 --> 01:15:43,200 Is that rain? It's raining. 1300 01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:45,700 Lucky guess, Baxter. Lucky guess. 1301 01:15:47,300 --> 01:15:48,200 (THUNDER CLAPPING) 1302 01:16:04,100 --> 01:16:06,500 Looks like the drought's finally over. Good news, eh, Congressman? 1303 01:16:06,600 --> 01:16:08,800 Yeah. Good news. 1304 01:16:11,300 --> 01:16:16,800 Everybody! Please! Get on the ark! 1305 01:16:18,800 --> 01:16:20,300 Go to the car! 1306 01:16:20,400 --> 01:16:24,500 Please! Everyone! On the ark! 1307 01:16:24,600 --> 01:16:27,900 Cover me up! Keep me dry! Cover me up! Keep me dry! 1308 01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:32,000 Who's crazy now, huh? Look at us all squishing! 1309 01:16:40,100 --> 01:16:41,800 It kind of stopped raining. 1310 01:16:41,900 --> 01:16:43,000 Is that it? 1311 01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:45,500 What did I tell you? It's fine. It's over. 1312 01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:47,500 Hey, Ahab! This is it? 1313 01:16:48,300 --> 01:16:50,800 Your God experiencing a little water shortage? 1314 01:16:50,900 --> 01:16:51,900 (ALL LAUGHING) 1315 01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:55,700 It would appear Evan Baxter was right about the rain, 1316 01:16:55,700 --> 01:16:59,200 with a slight miscalculation as to the quantity. 1317 01:17:03,300 --> 01:17:04,900 Something's wrong. 1318 01:17:04,900 --> 01:17:06,500 Honey, the clouds are moving away. 1319 01:17:06,600 --> 01:17:09,600 No, no. No, this isn't right. 1320 01:17:10,400 --> 01:17:13,800 Evan, even if it kept raining, it's not like it could cause a flood in a day. 1321 01:17:13,900 --> 01:17:19,100 But today is the day! It has to be. This just doesn't make any sense! 1322 01:17:21,100 --> 01:17:22,200 Wait a second. 1323 01:17:22,300 --> 01:17:23,300 What is it? 1324 01:17:23,400 --> 01:17:27,100 Marty said that Long cut corners, violated building codes. 1325 01:17:27,200 --> 01:17:28,300 What are you talking about? 1326 01:17:28,400 --> 01:17:29,800 The lake, Long Lake. 1327 01:17:29,900 --> 01:17:33,500 It's named after him. It's the lake! It's the lake! 1328 01:17:46,900 --> 01:17:48,200 Oh, no. 1329 01:17:50,000 --> 01:17:54,800 Get on the ark! Everyone, on the ark now! 1330 01:17:54,900 --> 01:17:56,700 I think we should get on the ark. 1331 01:17:56,800 --> 01:17:59,600 I agree. I think we should get on the ark also. 1332 01:17:59,700 --> 01:18:02,700 I'm cold. I'm wet. I'm going home. 1333 01:18:10,300 --> 01:18:12,400 Ladies first! Move! 1334 01:18:20,300 --> 01:18:23,900 Oh, my God. This is happening. This is really happening. 1335 01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:28,400 Holy... Get everyone on the ark now! 1336 01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:31,100 Get on the ark now! Let's go! Get on the ark! Let's go! 1337 01:18:31,200 --> 01:18:34,100 Go, go, go! Get on the ark! 1338 01:18:34,100 --> 01:18:35,600 (ALL SCREAMING) 1339 01:18:35,700 --> 01:18:39,800 Go, go, go! On the ark! Go, go, go! 1340 01:18:39,900 --> 01:18:42,400 All right, boys! Let's go! Let's go! 1341 01:18:42,400 --> 01:18:46,000 We're gonna need a bigger boat. Stay here with the kids. 1342 01:18:55,100 --> 01:18:57,000 Come on, Rita! 1343 01:18:57,000 --> 01:19:01,200 Everyone, up the ramp! Onto the deck! Come on! Hurry, hurry, hurry! 1344 01:19:01,300 --> 01:19:03,000 Dylan, get back inside! It's too dangerous. 1345 01:19:03,100 --> 01:19:05,100 No, Dad. I told you, I'm with you. 1346 01:19:09,500 --> 01:19:12,300 EVAN: Careful, everyone. In the ark! In the ark! 1347 01:19:12,400 --> 01:19:14,500 Watch your step! Up the ramp, everybody! 1348 01:19:22,700 --> 01:19:23,800 Guys, help me with the door! 1349 01:19:23,900 --> 01:19:25,200 Get the door! Get the door! 1350 01:19:32,200 --> 01:19:34,100 (ALL SCREAMING) 1351 01:20:07,900 --> 01:20:09,400 Guys! Guys! 1352 01:20:42,400 --> 01:20:44,100 Everybody hang on! 1353 01:20:54,400 --> 01:20:55,500 (ROARING) 1354 01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:57,800 You guys all right? You okay? 1355 01:20:58,400 --> 01:20:59,900 MAN OVER TV: There's been a flood at Prestige Crest 1356 01:21:00,000 --> 01:21:02,200 and you're seeing live images of New York Noah's ark 1357 01:21:02,200 --> 01:21:05,500 caught in the storm surge and heading towards Memorial Bridge! 1358 01:21:13,300 --> 01:21:14,300 WOMAN: We're going to crash! 1359 01:21:14,400 --> 01:21:15,900 MAN: Turn this thing around! 1360 01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:17,300 MAN 2: We're not gonna make it! 1361 01:21:17,400 --> 01:21:18,800 MAN 3: Save us, Baxter! 1362 01:21:30,500 --> 01:21:35,100 I command thee halt! Stop! Whoa! 1363 01:21:35,200 --> 01:21:36,800 WOMAN: It's not working! 1364 01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:40,400 How about a little help here? 1365 01:21:56,700 --> 01:21:57,700 (SCREAMING) 1366 01:22:24,800 --> 01:22:25,800 (SCREAMING) 1367 01:22:26,200 --> 01:22:28,700 What do you mean there was water damage? It rained for ten minutes. 1368 01:22:28,800 --> 01:22:30,300 That is not possible. 1369 01:22:39,100 --> 01:22:40,200 (EXCLAIMING) 1370 01:22:40,200 --> 01:22:42,100 I love you guys. All right. 1371 01:22:42,200 --> 01:22:43,500 Seriously. Okay, I got it. 1372 01:22:43,500 --> 01:22:44,700 I love you. Thank you. 1373 01:22:44,700 --> 01:22:46,000 (EAGLE CRYING) 1374 01:23:02,100 --> 01:23:06,700 LONG: All those in favor of the Public Land Act, please signify by saying, "Aye." 1375 01:23:07,100 --> 01:23:09,000 (CLAMORING) 1376 01:23:13,800 --> 01:23:15,100 Good God! 1377 01:23:24,100 --> 01:23:25,900 (ALL YELLING) 1378 01:23:50,400 --> 01:23:51,900 I think we can walk from here. 1379 01:23:52,300 --> 01:23:53,500 (SIRENS BLARING) 1380 01:24:10,100 --> 01:24:14,700 Hello, Congressman. Mind if I park my boat here for a little while? 1381 01:24:15,600 --> 01:24:16,600 But how... 1382 01:24:16,700 --> 01:24:17,900 The dam, Congressman. 1383 01:24:18,000 --> 01:24:21,600 Your reservoir ruptured. Prestige Crest, it's all gone. 1384 01:24:21,600 --> 01:24:23,600 No. They said that couldn't happen. 1385 01:24:25,200 --> 01:24:26,600 I never thought this... 1386 01:24:27,800 --> 01:24:32,700 You. You did this to me. You set me up, you crazy son of a... 1387 01:24:36,000 --> 01:24:38,300 Wow. That is disgusting. 1388 01:24:38,800 --> 01:24:40,200 If that comes out your front, 1389 01:24:40,300 --> 01:24:42,600 I don't even want to know what's coming out the back. 1390 01:24:47,000 --> 01:24:49,500 Don't look down, Congressman, but the wolves are here, 1391 01:24:49,600 --> 01:24:53,500 although I wouldn't worry so much about these wolves as those. 1392 01:25:01,800 --> 01:25:03,200 Gesundheit. 1393 01:25:15,300 --> 01:25:18,900 MAN 1: As you can see behind me, New York Noah's prediction came true. 1394 01:25:19,000 --> 01:25:21,500 WOMAN: The vote of the Land Act Bill has been suspended, 1395 01:25:21,600 --> 01:25:24,400 pending investigation of Congressman Long for profiteering... 1396 01:25:24,500 --> 01:25:27,500 MAN 2: Of course now, the question is, how will these animals be returned 1397 01:25:27,500 --> 01:25:29,100 to their natural habitats? 1398 01:25:29,200 --> 01:25:33,000 Something tells me, if God got them here, he can probably get them home. 1399 01:25:33,100 --> 01:25:36,200 WOMAN 2: The House will undoubtedly reinstate Congressman Baxter 1400 01:25:36,200 --> 01:25:38,000 when it reconvenes in the morning. 1401 01:25:38,100 --> 01:25:42,000 Until then, there is a lot to be done here on Capitol Hill. 1402 01:25:42,000 --> 01:25:43,000 JORDAN: How's Buster doing? 1403 01:25:43,100 --> 01:25:44,100 EVAN: Come on, Buster. 1404 01:25:44,200 --> 01:25:46,600 JOAN: No, come on. Come on! RYAN: Come on! 1405 01:25:46,700 --> 01:25:48,500 EVAN: These too heavy? It's all right? JORDAN: No, it's fine. 1406 01:25:48,500 --> 01:25:49,600 RYAN: He can't keep up. 1407 01:25:49,700 --> 01:25:51,000 I know, sweetie! 1408 01:25:51,000 --> 01:25:54,200 All right. What do you say we take a little break? 1409 01:25:54,300 --> 01:25:55,900 We've only been walking for, like, five minutes, Dad. 1410 01:25:56,000 --> 01:25:59,200 Well, five on, five off. Life is about balance, right? 1411 01:25:59,300 --> 01:26:00,600 How about some sandwiches? Okay. 1412 01:26:00,700 --> 01:26:02,300 Who wants sandwiches? Let's do it! 1413 01:26:02,400 --> 01:26:03,600 RYAN: I get first dibs! 1414 01:26:03,600 --> 01:26:06,000 Everyone but Buster is going to get a sandwich. 1415 01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:10,400 You do not get a sandwich! You're a dog and you do not get a sandwich! 1416 01:26:10,500 --> 01:26:13,700 Buster is part of the family now. You're just gonna have to get used to it. 1417 01:26:13,800 --> 01:26:15,600 Poor Buster! 1418 01:26:16,400 --> 01:26:19,500 Honey, come here. Sweetheart, be careful. Come here. 1419 01:26:19,600 --> 01:26:21,500 Hey, hon, save me one, okay? Okay. 1420 01:26:21,500 --> 01:26:22,700 I'll be right back. 1421 01:26:31,300 --> 01:26:32,700 Hey. Hey. 1422 01:26:34,500 --> 01:26:36,000 What are you doing here? 1423 01:26:36,800 --> 01:26:39,200 Just hanging out with some old friends. 1424 01:26:39,300 --> 01:26:42,600 You knew all along, didn't you? You knew the dam was unstable. 1425 01:26:42,700 --> 01:26:46,500 If it hadn't been for the ark, my family, the neighbors... 1426 01:26:46,600 --> 01:26:48,800 I fought you every step of the way. 1427 01:26:48,900 --> 01:26:50,400 Yes, but you did it. 1428 01:26:51,400 --> 01:26:56,000 So, you had nothing to do with the flood? Like where the ark landed exactly? 1429 01:26:56,000 --> 01:26:59,500 I gave you a little shove at the end. Sue me. 1430 01:27:02,100 --> 01:27:05,800 You did good, son. You changed the world. 1431 01:27:05,900 --> 01:27:07,300 No, no, I didn't. 1432 01:27:07,400 --> 01:27:08,600 Well, let's see. 1433 01:27:08,600 --> 01:27:12,700 Spending time with your family, making them very happy. 1434 01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:14,100 Gave that dog a home. 1435 01:27:14,200 --> 01:27:16,100 Right. So? 1436 01:27:16,800 --> 01:27:18,500 So? 1437 01:27:18,500 --> 01:27:20,700 How do we change the world? 1438 01:27:22,200 --> 01:27:25,700 One act of random kindness at a time. 1439 01:27:25,700 --> 01:27:30,300 One act of random kindness. 1440 01:27:35,500 --> 01:27:36,800 It's time. 1441 01:27:38,800 --> 01:27:40,300 Do the dance. 1442 01:27:41,800 --> 01:27:43,400 Care to join me? 1443 01:28:39,900 --> 01:28:42,700 I now issue a new commandment, 1444 01:28:42,700 --> 01:28:44,800 "Thou shalt do the dance." 1445 01:29:46,900 --> 01:29:50,100 Stop it! This is stupid! 1446 01:29:50,200 --> 01:29:53,400 That's awful dancing! You better stop! 1447 01:30:31,700 --> 01:30:33,800 MAN 1: Ladies and gentlemen, you don't have to go home. 1448 01:30:33,900 --> 01:30:36,500 You just have to go. We are wrapped. 1449 01:30:36,600 --> 01:30:39,300 MAN 2: We're wrapped. We love you. Thank you. 1450 01:30:43,305 --> 01:30:49,333 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 110059