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Previously, on "Happy!"...
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It's Hailey's birthday!
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ALL: ♪ Happy birthday to... ♪
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[SHRIEKS]
5
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- Hailey!
- Happy birthday.
6
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- How did you know?
- That's what friends are for.
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You want me to kill you?
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It's not me, Pink. It's someone else.
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Orcus.
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00:00:31,909 --> 00:00:33,392
Hey, hot stuff.
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00:00:33,394 --> 00:00:35,480
- You're cheating on me.
- [TOY THUNKS]
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- Come on!
- [SCREAMS]
13
00:00:38,269 --> 00:00:39,367
[AIR HISSES]
14
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- You forgot my birthday, Mom!
- Something I can't remember,
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00:00:42,316 --> 00:00:45,274
something I can't understand.
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I know what I have to do now.
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00:00:46,581 --> 00:00:48,581
I'm here to see Sonny Shine.
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00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:50,105
He's got blackmail on everyone.
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It's on videotape.
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00:00:51,325 --> 00:00:53,064
The real stuff's gotta
be at Shine Tower,
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00:00:53,066 --> 00:00:55,197
so that is where we're gonna go.
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00:00:55,199 --> 00:00:57,503
I run the third-largest
network in the nation.
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[SCREAMING]
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[GASPS]
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This is my stage, Sonny! [GRUNTS]
26
00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:06,250
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]
27
00:01:06,253 --> 00:01:08,210
[BONES CRUNCHING]
28
00:01:08,212 --> 00:01:09,914
- I killed it.
- [SHRIEKS]
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00:01:09,917 --> 00:01:11,920
Whatever it was that
came out of that thing,
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00:01:11,923 --> 00:01:13,880
I put it in a jelly jar.
I stuck it in the fridge.
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[GASPS, GROANING]
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- Holy shit.
- Nick, where are you?
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Some dad.
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He forgot his daughter's birthday.
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And I'm, uh, going
right there and I'm gonna
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00:01:22,313 --> 00:01:23,660
get her the stuffed,
uh... What do you call it?
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00:01:23,662 --> 00:01:25,096
The Wishees.
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[SOBBING]
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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[JAUNTY MUSIC]
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♪
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00:01:51,995 --> 00:01:54,996
[EERIE MUSIC]
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♪
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00:02:05,443 --> 00:02:07,008
[HOLLERING]
45
00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:08,444
[HEAVY METAL MUSIC]
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00:02:08,446 --> 00:02:09,793
[SUITS SQUEAK]
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♪
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[MUSIC STOPS]
49
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- [OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
- [PHONES RINGING]
50
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[MAN SINGING AND SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY]
51
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♪
52
00:02:26,116 --> 00:02:30,187
[GRUNTING]
53
00:02:30,190 --> 00:02:31,728
[SIGHS] Fuck.
54
00:02:31,730 --> 00:02:33,512
- [GUNSHOT]
- My ass!
55
00:02:33,514 --> 00:02:34,861
Sax?
56
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,762
MALE NARRATOR: Two Sockatoos, one bullet...
57
00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:39,214
The timeframe: 5.6 seconds.
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00:02:39,216 --> 00:02:41,520
The bullet leaves Merry
McCarthy's Glock 25
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00:02:41,522 --> 00:02:45,089
at 1:34 p.m. at a velocity
of 1,200 feet per second.
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00:02:45,091 --> 00:02:46,786
It penetrates the Wishee costume,
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00:02:46,788 --> 00:02:48,015
then makes a sharp,
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00:02:48,018 --> 00:02:50,181
nigh impossible change of direction,
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00:02:50,183 --> 00:02:52,792
continuing at an angle
of 27 diagonal degrees
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00:02:52,794 --> 00:02:54,490
through Sax's grassy knoll,
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00:02:54,492 --> 00:02:56,840
barely grazing his two
pimpled flesh mounds.
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00:02:56,842 --> 00:03:00,713
Defying all laws of gravity,
probability, and decency,
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00:03:00,715 --> 00:03:02,762
the bullet then bursts
free of the dark canyon,
68
00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:05,153
narrowly avoiding the
all-too-tempting target
69
00:03:05,155 --> 00:03:06,719
of Sax's sweet...
70
00:03:06,721 --> 00:03:08,069
[DING]
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00:03:08,071 --> 00:03:09,505
That's some bullet.
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00:03:09,507 --> 00:03:11,811
[FUNKY MUSIC]
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00:03:11,813 --> 00:03:13,934
How the hell did you get
this thing out of there?
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00:03:13,937 --> 00:03:15,859
Like shoving a cat in a mason jar, Mer.
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00:03:15,861 --> 00:03:19,210
[BOTH GRUNTING, PANTING]
76
00:03:19,212 --> 00:03:21,386
I don't know.
77
00:03:21,388 --> 00:03:23,214
Dipshit Dan just might
be on to something.
78
00:03:23,216 --> 00:03:25,521
Maybe this thing is from another planet.
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00:03:25,523 --> 00:03:27,479
Doug's dead. Sonny killed him.
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00:03:27,481 --> 00:03:30,743
Yeah, Doug, right, not Dan.
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00:03:30,745 --> 00:03:32,789
Sorry.
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00:03:32,791 --> 00:03:35,574
[BOTH GRUNTING]
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00:03:35,576 --> 00:03:38,229
What the hell were you
doing at Shine Tower anyway?
84
00:03:38,231 --> 00:03:39,799
Yeah, the million-dollar question, Mer.
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00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:41,102
I got no idea.
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00:03:41,104 --> 00:03:43,626
Last thing I remember... [GRUNTS]
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00:03:43,628 --> 00:03:45,758
I was in your kitchen eating a PB&J.
88
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,370
Oh, that wasn't "J." You ate its blood.
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00:03:48,372 --> 00:03:50,589
♪
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00:03:50,591 --> 00:03:52,113
I know what you're thinking.
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00:03:52,115 --> 00:03:53,766
No, you don't.
92
00:03:53,768 --> 00:03:54,854
- Go on.
- What?
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00:03:54,856 --> 00:03:55,986
- Say it.
- No.
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00:03:55,988 --> 00:03:57,770
The blood brought you back to its host.
95
00:03:57,772 --> 00:03:59,381
I think you know how
full-batshit you sound.
96
00:03:59,383 --> 00:04:01,470
Sure do, and yet...
97
00:04:01,472 --> 00:04:04,777
And yet...
98
00:04:04,779 --> 00:04:06,153
- Oh, hey.
- What?
99
00:04:06,156 --> 00:04:08,477
- Found another tape.
- Oh, no more sex tape shit.
100
00:04:08,479 --> 00:04:10,914
- It's Kap Gostynski.
- Mm.
101
00:04:10,916 --> 00:04:12,437
He's the head of the network, Sax.
102
00:04:12,439 --> 00:04:13,699
Exactly, who gives a shit?
103
00:04:13,701 --> 00:04:14,874
Don't you know what that means?
104
00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:16,702
We're gonna hit Sonny where he's soft.
105
00:04:16,704 --> 00:04:17,877
No, we're not.
106
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,928
What we are gonna do
is cut this thing open
107
00:04:19,931 --> 00:04:21,091
and see what's inside him.
108
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,487
Now use your legs, not your back,
109
00:04:22,490 --> 00:04:24,144
count of three.
110
00:04:24,147 --> 00:04:25,755
One, two...
111
00:04:25,757 --> 00:04:28,758
[WISHEE SPLATS]
112
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,282
Did you use your legs?
113
00:04:31,284 --> 00:04:37,680
♪
114
00:04:37,682 --> 00:04:41,336
- One, two, three.
- [BOTH GRUNT]
115
00:04:41,338 --> 00:04:43,729
[BOTH PANTING]
116
00:04:43,731 --> 00:04:46,297
Seriously, what the fuck is it?
117
00:04:46,299 --> 00:04:47,820
Well, according to Dayglo Doug,
118
00:04:47,822 --> 00:04:49,213
sometime in the Etruscan Age...
119
00:04:49,215 --> 00:04:51,563
- That's not funny.
- Well, look, Mer,
120
00:04:51,565 --> 00:04:53,304
I know this may be hard
to believe, but I, too,
121
00:04:53,306 --> 00:04:55,785
have had occasion to
question my sanity as of late.
122
00:04:55,787 --> 00:04:56,960
Oh, I believe it.
123
00:04:56,962 --> 00:04:58,309
Well, you know, alls I'm saying is that
124
00:04:58,311 --> 00:04:59,919
your best bet is just roll with it.
125
00:04:59,921 --> 00:05:03,445
You know, don't overthink it.
126
00:05:03,447 --> 00:05:07,318
Thinking, actually, is bad.
127
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:08,711
Let go of me!
128
00:05:08,713 --> 00:05:12,715
I want to see Sonny Shine!
129
00:05:12,717 --> 00:05:14,673
Tell him it's Amanda Hansen!
130
00:05:14,675 --> 00:05:17,241
You have no right to keep me in here.
131
00:05:17,243 --> 00:05:18,764
[PANTING]
132
00:05:18,766 --> 00:05:20,766
[SIGHS]
133
00:05:20,768 --> 00:05:23,813
[FOREBODING MUSIC]
134
00:05:23,815 --> 00:05:25,442
[APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS]
135
00:05:25,445 --> 00:05:27,598
Miss Hansen.
136
00:05:27,601 --> 00:05:29,601
You're back. I want answers, Shine.
137
00:05:29,603 --> 00:05:31,603
You want answers.
138
00:05:31,605 --> 00:05:35,005
I want answers!
139
00:05:35,008 --> 00:05:36,268
[DEEP BREATH]
140
00:05:36,271 --> 00:05:38,968
Someone stole something
from my building.
141
00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:41,917
Two not-as-yet-but-soon-to-be
identified individuals
142
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:45,530
broke in and made off
with something very,
143
00:05:45,532 --> 00:05:47,793
very precious to me.
144
00:05:47,795 --> 00:05:51,667
The violation of it all, Miss Hansen...
145
00:05:51,669 --> 00:05:53,495
♪
146
00:05:53,497 --> 00:05:55,802
The violation...
147
00:05:55,805 --> 00:05:58,025
But I'm sure you wouldn't
know anything about that.
148
00:05:58,028 --> 00:06:01,546
[SNIFFS] I'm sure your being here
149
00:06:01,548 --> 00:06:03,896
is a complete coincidence.
150
00:06:03,898 --> 00:06:05,724
You're covered in blood.
151
00:06:05,726 --> 00:06:08,423
I met up with an old
friend. Things got crazy.
152
00:06:08,425 --> 00:06:10,468
I don't have time for this.
153
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,340
I have a show to prepare for.
154
00:06:12,342 --> 00:06:13,993
I'll keep this simple. Why are you here?
155
00:06:13,995 --> 00:06:16,387
That night...
156
00:06:16,389 --> 00:06:19,782
That night in your tower,
157
00:06:19,784 --> 00:06:22,567
something happened to me.
158
00:06:22,569 --> 00:06:26,267
Now you are gonna tell me
what you did to me or...
159
00:06:26,269 --> 00:06:28,704
[WHISTLES]
160
00:06:28,706 --> 00:06:31,924
- [SCREAMS]
- [PANTING]
161
00:06:31,926 --> 00:06:34,666
[WHIMPERING]
162
00:06:34,668 --> 00:06:37,715
[PANTING]
163
00:06:42,285 --> 00:06:44,502
Shh.
164
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:46,417
[WISHEE CHIRPING, BURBLING]
165
00:06:46,419 --> 00:06:48,680
- Yes?
- [WISHEES CHIRPING, BURBLING]
166
00:06:48,682 --> 00:06:50,771
Yes, yes.
167
00:06:52,643 --> 00:06:54,991
No, no.
168
00:06:54,993 --> 00:06:57,994
[LAUGHS] Color me gobsmacked.
169
00:06:57,996 --> 00:07:00,562
♪
170
00:07:00,564 --> 00:07:04,696
You are special.
171
00:07:04,698 --> 00:07:07,786
I know what's missing in your life.
172
00:07:07,788 --> 00:07:09,614
And shame on them for being such
173
00:07:09,616 --> 00:07:12,661
super secret keepers!
174
00:07:12,663 --> 00:07:15,881
Miss Hansen, you're with child.
175
00:07:15,883 --> 00:07:18,797
♪
176
00:07:18,799 --> 00:07:21,017
What?
177
00:07:21,019 --> 00:07:23,411
Listen, sister, I'm with you.
178
00:07:23,413 --> 00:07:26,065
I... my hard drive's whirling away.
179
00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:27,893
[HEAVY BREATHING]
180
00:07:27,895 --> 00:07:30,809
Oh, you're a woman,
181
00:07:30,811 --> 00:07:34,422
and you've got a lot
of nonsensical emotions,
182
00:07:34,424 --> 00:07:36,902
um, brewing up in you right now.
183
00:07:36,904 --> 00:07:38,774
[SCREAMS] Let go of me!
184
00:07:38,776 --> 00:07:40,906
I know what you need.
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00:07:40,908 --> 00:07:42,647
♪
186
00:07:42,649 --> 00:07:45,650
[DARK MUSIC]
187
00:07:45,652 --> 00:07:47,826
♪
188
00:07:47,828 --> 00:07:50,960
This will fill that void
you're feeling inside.
189
00:07:50,962 --> 00:07:53,963
[EERIE MUSIC]
190
00:07:53,965 --> 00:07:55,356
♪
191
00:07:55,358 --> 00:07:57,009
Come back when you need more.
192
00:07:57,011 --> 00:08:00,056
[WHIMPERING]
193
00:08:00,058 --> 00:08:03,059
[ROMANTIC MUSIC]
194
00:08:03,061 --> 00:08:10,111
♪
195
00:08:13,506 --> 00:08:16,196
You sure can do some cool
stuff with your tongue.
196
00:08:16,199 --> 00:08:17,415
Friend showed me,
197
00:08:17,418 --> 00:08:19,162
and you don't know the half of it.
198
00:08:19,164 --> 00:08:21,686
My friend Hailey showed
me how to do this...
199
00:08:21,688 --> 00:08:23,819
♪
200
00:08:23,821 --> 00:08:25,647
Oh, wow.
201
00:08:25,649 --> 00:08:27,518
We used to do everything together...
202
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,869
The carousel, flying kites by the pier.
203
00:08:30,871 --> 00:08:32,697
Uh-huh.
204
00:08:32,699 --> 00:08:35,396
Last year on her birthday,
we made paper lanterns
205
00:08:35,398 --> 00:08:37,180
with, like, all the colors.
206
00:08:37,182 --> 00:08:38,615
She was so happy.
207
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:41,402
But this year I forgot her birthday.
208
00:08:41,404 --> 00:08:44,482
That look on her face, she...
She's just changed so much.
209
00:08:44,485 --> 00:08:45,884
For shit's sake!
210
00:08:45,886 --> 00:08:47,756
Hailey, Hailey, Hailey!
211
00:08:47,758 --> 00:08:50,019
Is that all you can talk about?
212
00:08:50,021 --> 00:08:52,543
- Uh, what?
- She's not thinking about you.
213
00:08:52,545 --> 00:08:54,415
Why are you thinking about her?
214
00:08:54,417 --> 00:08:56,939
"Friends." Ha, what a scam.
215
00:08:56,941 --> 00:09:00,334
We exist for them, and
then they just forget.
216
00:09:00,337 --> 00:09:03,206
What kind of a friend is that?
217
00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:06,601
Hmm, c'est la vie, am I right?
218
00:09:06,603 --> 00:09:08,559
I think so?
219
00:09:08,561 --> 00:09:10,431
Let's get out of here,
220
00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:12,433
do something crazy.
221
00:09:12,435 --> 00:09:15,871
Isn't this crazy?
222
00:09:15,873 --> 00:09:19,701
Sure, but I'm talking about...
223
00:09:19,703 --> 00:09:22,747
[LAUGHS] That's what she said.
224
00:09:22,749 --> 00:09:24,767
[DEVIOUS MUSIC]
225
00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:26,030
So where do you want to start?
226
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,752
Give me an asshole,
a mouth, or something.
227
00:09:28,755 --> 00:09:30,842
Get my bearings.
228
00:09:30,844 --> 00:09:34,759
- [CLICKS TONGUE]
- Try the middle?
229
00:09:34,761 --> 00:09:37,764
[SAW WHIRRING]
230
00:09:38,896 --> 00:09:41,462
- [FLESH SQUELCHING]
- [WISHEE SCREECHES]
231
00:09:41,464 --> 00:09:43,115
[GRUNTS]
232
00:09:43,117 --> 00:09:46,118
[WISHEE SCREECHING]
233
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,165
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
234
00:09:49,167 --> 00:09:52,603
♪
235
00:09:52,605 --> 00:09:53,778
Third weirdest thing I've seen all day.
236
00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:54,997
Did you see where it went?
237
00:09:54,999 --> 00:09:56,738
That truck hit me, all I saw was stars
238
00:09:56,740 --> 00:09:58,087
and little birds spinning around.
239
00:09:58,089 --> 00:09:59,610
Tweet, tweet. Tweet, tweet.
240
00:09:59,612 --> 00:10:01,612
Le Dic, what the fuck
are you doing here?
241
00:10:01,614 --> 00:10:03,179
I'm doing you one, big, hard solid...
242
00:10:03,181 --> 00:10:05,094
Though I don't know why I should.
243
00:10:05,096 --> 00:10:07,226
- Someone wants you dead.
- Oh, shocker.
244
00:10:07,228 --> 00:10:08,793
Who is it this time?
245
00:10:08,795 --> 00:10:10,829
The Bug.
246
00:10:10,832 --> 00:10:12,179
What'd he say?
247
00:10:12,182 --> 00:10:14,485
He tempted me with all
my vices rolled into one.
248
00:10:14,497 --> 00:10:17,802
- Ladies, liquor, and luck.
- [WOMEN MOAN]
249
00:10:17,804 --> 00:10:19,674
He baited that hook
250
00:10:19,676 --> 00:10:21,893
with the finest Cajun country pie
251
00:10:21,895 --> 00:10:24,156
you've ever almost tasted...
252
00:10:24,158 --> 00:10:25,595
By pie, I mean pussy.
253
00:10:25,598 --> 00:10:26,641
Yep.
254
00:10:26,644 --> 00:10:28,203
This Bug gets me all drugged up,
255
00:10:28,206 --> 00:10:29,988
says he's looking for a taxi driver.
256
00:10:29,990 --> 00:10:31,642
Someone's been getting
up in his business,
257
00:10:31,644 --> 00:10:33,818
robbed his house, busted
up one of his operations,
258
00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:34,915
and he wants a name,
259
00:10:34,918 --> 00:10:36,212
and he just knows I can give it to him.
260
00:10:36,214 --> 00:10:37,462
So I play it cool, right?
261
00:10:37,465 --> 00:10:40,258
But he looks at you with
those big, round bug eyes...
262
00:10:40,261 --> 00:10:42,567
Shiny like an oil slick, and I'm smart.
263
00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:44,785
I say, "I tell you a
name, I'm as good as dead.
264
00:10:44,788 --> 00:10:46,091
So I'll do one better,
265
00:10:46,093 --> 00:10:47,615
and I'll bring him straight to you."
266
00:10:47,617 --> 00:10:48,833
I'm touched, Le Dic, really.
267
00:10:48,835 --> 00:10:49,965
I ain't criss-crossing you, Sax.
268
00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:51,836
- That is why I'm here.
- Yeah, right.
269
00:10:51,838 --> 00:10:53,577
- Honor amongst scumbags?
- Exactly.
270
00:10:53,579 --> 00:10:56,058
This Bug... he ain't one of us.
271
00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:58,317
To tell you the truth, well,
this ain't the first time
272
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,845
that I seen him.
273
00:11:00,847 --> 00:11:03,152
I used to be into
some weird sexual shit.
274
00:11:03,154 --> 00:11:05,546
I ain't too proud to admit it...
275
00:11:05,548 --> 00:11:08,679
Role-play, getting beat up, whipped,
276
00:11:08,681 --> 00:11:10,855
wolf bag, scatty pants...
277
00:11:10,857 --> 00:11:12,553
Jesus Christ. Get to the point.
278
00:11:12,555 --> 00:11:14,076
I moved through dark circles...
279
00:11:14,078 --> 00:11:15,991
Nasty, pervy...
280
00:11:15,993 --> 00:11:20,778
Till one night, I end up
at this high-roller's orgy,
281
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:23,172
latex lovers dressed like animals.
282
00:11:23,174 --> 00:11:25,613
I don't remember what happened,
but I remember that Bug.
283
00:11:25,616 --> 00:11:27,916
And he was right there in
the middle of all of it.
284
00:11:27,918 --> 00:11:31,876
Whatever happened there, well...
285
00:11:31,878 --> 00:11:35,010
it made me do caca in my Hanes.
286
00:11:35,012 --> 00:11:36,707
I never wanted to go
back there after that.
287
00:11:36,709 --> 00:11:38,593
- And yet...
- Six, seven times tops.
288
00:11:38,596 --> 00:11:40,058
Okay, where was this orgy?
289
00:11:40,060 --> 00:11:42,104
That's the crazy part.
290
00:11:42,106 --> 00:11:43,714
Shine Tower,
291
00:11:43,716 --> 00:11:47,065
you know, that kiddy clown on TV.
292
00:11:47,067 --> 00:11:48,980
Yeah, well...
293
00:11:48,982 --> 00:11:51,200
roll this up and smoke it, Sax.
294
00:11:51,202 --> 00:11:53,289
A little bird told me another one
295
00:11:53,291 --> 00:11:54,899
of those nasty parties is going off,
296
00:11:54,901 --> 00:11:56,379
and I mean tonight.
297
00:11:56,381 --> 00:11:57,772
[PHONE RINGING]
298
00:11:57,774 --> 00:12:00,775
Look, we need... oh.
299
00:12:00,777 --> 00:12:03,212
- [STAMMERS]
- Uh, hey.
300
00:12:03,214 --> 00:12:05,823
Nick, I'm gonna need
you to take Hailey today.
301
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:09,087
- Uh, now's not a good time...
- Don't you dare.
302
00:12:09,089 --> 00:12:11,916
Don't you dare finish
that sentence, Nicholas.
303
00:12:11,918 --> 00:12:14,074
Don't you dare!
304
00:12:14,077 --> 00:12:16,181
[PHONE LINE BEEPING]
305
00:12:16,183 --> 00:12:19,707
[SHOES SQUEAKING]
306
00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:21,752
Uh, yeah, I gotta
take care of something.
307
00:12:21,754 --> 00:12:22,753
Really? Now?
308
00:12:22,755 --> 00:12:25,060
You, I want in to Pervapalooza.
309
00:12:25,062 --> 00:12:26,975
Can do.
310
00:12:26,977 --> 00:12:30,805
But you're gonna need a costume.
311
00:12:30,807 --> 00:12:33,634
Warden.
312
00:12:33,636 --> 00:12:35,157
[SCOFFS]
313
00:12:35,159 --> 00:12:37,942
Goddamn Wolfpack.
314
00:12:37,944 --> 00:12:39,944
You can stand.
315
00:12:39,946 --> 00:12:43,121
Won't be long.
316
00:12:43,123 --> 00:12:44,732
Not a hockey fan?
317
00:12:44,734 --> 00:12:47,038
Calcio Storico.
318
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,344
600 years old.
319
00:12:48,346 --> 00:12:50,694
They still play it once a year.
320
00:12:50,696 --> 00:12:53,349
Piazza Santa Croce.
321
00:12:53,351 --> 00:12:55,220
That's in Florence.
322
00:12:55,222 --> 00:12:57,832
Florence, Italy.
323
00:12:57,834 --> 00:13:01,052
Now, if you were to
turn up with your stick,
324
00:13:01,054 --> 00:13:04,142
and your pads, and your helmet...
325
00:13:04,144 --> 00:13:06,101
they'd shove them all up your ass
326
00:13:06,103 --> 00:13:09,060
and you'd buy them a pint afterwards.
327
00:13:09,062 --> 00:13:12,277
Makes your hockey seem
rather like foxy boxing,
328
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,023
which I do happen to
hold in high regard...
329
00:13:15,025 --> 00:13:17,155
Foxy boxing, that is,
330
00:13:17,157 --> 00:13:18,374
not hockey.
331
00:13:18,376 --> 00:13:23,205
Let's talk about, uh, this whole...
332
00:13:23,207 --> 00:13:26,687
Kumbaya thing you got going on.
333
00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:27,775
"Kumbaya"?
334
00:13:27,777 --> 00:13:29,864
I see what's going on out there...
335
00:13:29,866 --> 00:13:33,694
Aryan Brotherhood,
Black Gangster Disciples,
336
00:13:33,696 --> 00:13:37,785
and Nuestra Familia all
getting along together
337
00:13:37,787 --> 00:13:39,700
like a Waldorf salad.
338
00:13:39,702 --> 00:13:41,266
There hasn't been a violent incident
339
00:13:41,268 --> 00:13:44,226
or a disciplinary infraction
340
00:13:44,228 --> 00:13:47,838
of any kind in over 72 hours.
341
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,841
- That's lovely.
- That's not lovely.
342
00:13:50,843 --> 00:13:54,279
That's fucking unacceptable,
343
00:13:54,281 --> 00:13:57,718
because if the gangs
aren't fighting each other,
344
00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:01,025
they're fighting the
guards, they're fighting me,
345
00:14:01,027 --> 00:14:03,114
and I have to keep the peace.
346
00:14:03,116 --> 00:14:05,856
And, uh... [LAUGHS]
347
00:14:05,858 --> 00:14:07,945
Ooh. [HISSES THROUGH TEETH]
348
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:11,035
Keeping the peace can hurt.
349
00:14:11,037 --> 00:14:12,907
[TENSE MUSIC]
350
00:14:12,909 --> 00:14:14,343
You get me?
351
00:14:14,345 --> 00:14:17,215
- I think I do.
- I like to hear that.
352
00:14:17,217 --> 00:14:19,827
I like that you and I
353
00:14:19,829 --> 00:14:22,220
can be on the level.
354
00:14:22,222 --> 00:14:23,787
It stops,
355
00:14:23,789 --> 00:14:26,548
or you are gonna spend
the rest of your days
356
00:14:26,551 --> 00:14:29,988
with that hockey stick
shoved up your ass,
357
00:14:29,991 --> 00:14:33,057
and we won't be grabbing any pints,
358
00:14:33,059 --> 00:14:35,973
you and me.
359
00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:39,890
Understand?
360
00:14:39,892 --> 00:14:42,763
I'm gonna need you to say
361
00:14:42,765 --> 00:14:44,852
you understand.
362
00:14:44,854 --> 00:14:46,984
♪
363
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:49,378
Perfectly.
364
00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:53,251
[MELLOW MUSIC]
365
00:14:53,253 --> 00:14:55,123
This is your place?
366
00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:58,559
I, you know, crash here with my friend.
367
00:14:58,562 --> 00:15:00,432
The infamous Hailey.
368
00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:02,590
No, not... not Hailey, Nick.
369
00:15:02,593 --> 00:15:04,562
Excusez-moi?
370
00:15:04,565 --> 00:15:06,916
It... it's complicated.
371
00:15:06,919 --> 00:15:08,963
I'm complicated. Try me.
372
00:15:08,965 --> 00:15:11,095
Well, I haven't told anybody this,
373
00:15:11,097 --> 00:15:14,272
but I got a new friend, Nick.
374
00:15:14,274 --> 00:15:16,057
He's Hailey's dad.
375
00:15:16,059 --> 00:15:18,537
She stopped believing and he needed me,
376
00:15:18,539 --> 00:15:20,801
so I'm Nick's friend now.
377
00:15:20,803 --> 00:15:23,586
You're telling me you jumped friends?
378
00:15:23,588 --> 00:15:27,938
[LAUGHING]
379
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:30,941
Sweetie, I know you're
going through a hard time,
380
00:15:30,943 --> 00:15:33,030
but what you're saying is shiznuts.
381
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:34,379
Your friend's your friend.
382
00:15:34,381 --> 00:15:36,860
When your friend stops
believing, you disappear.
383
00:15:36,862 --> 00:15:39,123
We don't change friends.
384
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:42,788
I mean, if we could do
that, are we even imaginary?
385
00:15:42,791 --> 00:15:45,347
Oh, I'm imaginary, all right.
386
00:15:45,349 --> 00:15:47,958
I'm an imaginary lemon.
387
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:49,481
I can't help anybody.
388
00:15:49,483 --> 00:15:51,309
Okay, Happy?
389
00:15:51,311 --> 00:15:53,485
You're killing my buzz.
390
00:15:53,487 --> 00:15:56,488
[STIRRING MUSIC]
391
00:15:56,490 --> 00:15:59,404
♪
392
00:15:59,406 --> 00:16:02,625
What happened to that
badass bucking bronco
393
00:16:02,627 --> 00:16:04,845
who rallied the troops and took down
394
00:16:04,847 --> 00:16:06,498
Psycho Santa Claus?
395
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:09,414
I... I did do that, didn't I?
396
00:16:09,416 --> 00:16:11,155
Hell yeah, you did.
397
00:16:11,157 --> 00:16:14,332
When you said "pick on
someone your own size,"
398
00:16:14,334 --> 00:16:17,379
you could have wrung out my
panties with a mop bucket.
399
00:16:17,381 --> 00:16:19,947
It's time to forget
about your friends...
400
00:16:19,949 --> 00:16:23,994
All of them... Before
they forget about you.
401
00:16:23,996 --> 00:16:27,041
So, you ever done it before?
402
00:16:27,043 --> 00:16:28,346
- "It"?
- Yeah.
403
00:16:28,348 --> 00:16:30,174
You know, it...
404
00:16:30,176 --> 00:16:32,176
- With a girl.
- Oh!
405
00:16:32,178 --> 00:16:34,135
[CLEARS THROAT] It.
406
00:16:34,137 --> 00:16:35,527
[STAMMERING] Yeah, it.
407
00:16:35,529 --> 00:16:37,660
Totally. Oh, tons of times.
408
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:41,969
I'm really good at it.
409
00:16:41,971 --> 00:16:43,884
Oh, boy.
410
00:16:43,886 --> 00:16:46,845
Don't worry, Happy, I got this.
411
00:16:50,541 --> 00:16:52,761
- [PARTY HORNS BLOWING]
- ALL: ♪ Happy birthday... ♪
412
00:16:52,764 --> 00:16:56,853
Um, so I, um...
413
00:16:57,230 --> 00:16:58,708
I... I kinda got held up.
414
00:16:58,710 --> 00:16:59,926
Huh?
415
00:16:59,928 --> 00:17:02,233
But, um...
416
00:17:02,235 --> 00:17:05,193
I know what day it was.
417
00:17:05,195 --> 00:17:06,796
- It's okay.
- No, it's not.
418
00:17:06,799 --> 00:17:11,154
You know, I... 'cause I meant to...
419
00:17:11,157 --> 00:17:13,070
with the balloons...
420
00:17:13,072 --> 00:17:16,465
eating, uh, the sugary...
421
00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:19,076
with the clowns holding farm animals,
422
00:17:19,078 --> 00:17:20,534
little favor things.
423
00:17:20,537 --> 00:17:22,535
Are you trying to
describe a birthday party?
424
00:17:22,538 --> 00:17:25,735
Yeah, the point... The point is, um...
425
00:17:25,737 --> 00:17:28,303
[MELLOW ROCK MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
426
00:17:28,305 --> 00:17:32,045
It... it was our first birthday,
427
00:17:32,047 --> 00:17:35,092
you know, as
father-daughter, and, um...
428
00:17:35,094 --> 00:17:37,964
♪
429
00:17:37,966 --> 00:17:41,316
It was important.
430
00:17:41,318 --> 00:17:43,492
I'm sorry.
431
00:17:43,494 --> 00:17:45,494
♪
432
00:17:45,496 --> 00:17:48,105
24 hour rule.
433
00:17:48,107 --> 00:17:50,281
We can do something today.
434
00:17:50,283 --> 00:17:52,892
♪
435
00:17:52,894 --> 00:17:54,807
- You can't.
- No, I'd love to.
436
00:17:54,809 --> 00:17:55,991
I'd love to.
437
00:17:55,994 --> 00:17:57,506
I... I... there's just
this thing that I gotta...
438
00:17:57,508 --> 00:17:59,952
ALL: Birthday!
- Oh, thank Christ.
439
00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:02,337
ALL: ♪ Birthdays are lovely
and birthdays are sweet ♪
440
00:18:02,339 --> 00:18:05,254
♪ So thanks for choosing
us and choosing our treats ♪
441
00:18:05,257 --> 00:18:07,429
- Where you going?
- Bathroom.
442
00:18:07,431 --> 00:18:08,757
You need help?
443
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:10,867
ALL: ♪ World-famous
Zoodle Cake for $13.99! ♪
444
00:18:10,869 --> 00:18:11,911
- No way!
- Yes way!
445
00:18:11,913 --> 00:18:13,913
- Hooray!
- Birthday!
446
00:18:13,915 --> 00:18:15,613
♪ So thanks for choosing us and ♪
447
00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:17,917
[ALL TRAIL OFF]
448
00:18:17,919 --> 00:18:20,920
[BRYAN FERRY'S "SLAVE
TO LOVE" OVER SPEAKERS]
449
00:18:20,922 --> 00:18:23,575
♪
450
00:18:23,577 --> 00:18:27,231
[LIGHTER FLICKING]
451
00:18:27,233 --> 00:18:29,581
Trouble getting it up?
452
00:18:29,583 --> 00:18:34,369
♪
453
00:18:34,371 --> 00:18:36,153
I am so happy right now.
454
00:18:36,155 --> 00:18:38,851
No, really, I was
afraid that you was dead.
455
00:18:38,853 --> 00:18:40,331
I mean, getting shot in the face
456
00:18:40,333 --> 00:18:42,464
is not exactly a night
out at Studio 54...
457
00:18:42,466 --> 00:18:44,422
Not to mention the ever-present risk
458
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:45,815
of a catheter infection.
459
00:18:45,817 --> 00:18:48,078
For a guy like you,
460
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,821
the possibilities are endless.
461
00:18:51,823 --> 00:18:54,345
And then...
462
00:18:54,347 --> 00:18:56,478
I wouldn't be able...
To kill me yourself, yes.
463
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,089
- Yeah.
- Very sweet...
464
00:18:59,091 --> 00:19:02,310
As sweet as that ripe,
red little cherry.
465
00:19:02,312 --> 00:19:05,965
How's life since I took yours?
466
00:19:05,967 --> 00:19:08,185
I'm walking a bit more like
John Wayne because of you,
467
00:19:08,187 --> 00:19:10,883
but, eh, I've been worse.
468
00:19:10,885 --> 00:19:13,843
Yourself?
469
00:19:13,845 --> 00:19:16,367
[GASPS] Whoa!
470
00:19:16,369 --> 00:19:20,110
Yeah, life has been, um, interesting
471
00:19:20,112 --> 00:19:21,416
since our last tango.
472
00:19:21,418 --> 00:19:22,939
All right, you're already boring me.
473
00:19:22,941 --> 00:19:25,333
Maybe you're feeling
suicidal coming here.
474
00:19:25,335 --> 00:19:27,204
Maybe you think that I
don't dare fuck you up
475
00:19:27,206 --> 00:19:29,848
in the middle of Greaser Gary's
Shit and Biscuit Roadhouse.
476
00:19:29,851 --> 00:19:34,211
Either way, this...
477
00:19:34,213 --> 00:19:37,301
is not gonna end well for you.
478
00:19:37,303 --> 00:19:39,434
- Don't cause a scene, Sax.
- [GRUNTS]
479
00:19:39,436 --> 00:19:41,610
Think of all the children...
480
00:19:41,612 --> 00:19:43,351
Especially yours.
481
00:19:43,353 --> 00:19:46,354
[SINISTER MUSIC]
482
00:19:46,356 --> 00:19:48,181
The only thing I'm thinking about now
483
00:19:48,183 --> 00:19:49,879
is how I'm gonna rip out your piss tube
484
00:19:49,881 --> 00:19:52,360
and shove it into your
good eye until I hit brain.
485
00:19:52,362 --> 00:19:54,144
It's fascinating.
486
00:19:54,146 --> 00:19:57,234
When we first met, you
had nothing to lose,
487
00:19:57,236 --> 00:19:59,454
nothing to live for but that next drink,
488
00:19:59,456 --> 00:20:00,785
next blackout.
489
00:20:00,788 --> 00:20:02,935
It gave you a kind of invulnerability.
490
00:20:02,937 --> 00:20:05,285
But now...
491
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,026
don't you see?
492
00:20:07,028 --> 00:20:08,941
[BOTTLE SQUELCHES]
493
00:20:08,943 --> 00:20:11,422
Daddy can't be naughty.
494
00:20:11,424 --> 00:20:13,119
Imagine she comes out of the bathroom
495
00:20:13,121 --> 00:20:15,426
and sees papa dragged off to prison.
496
00:20:15,428 --> 00:20:18,255
And just when you came
back into her life.
497
00:20:18,257 --> 00:20:19,996
[SCOFFS]
498
00:20:19,998 --> 00:20:24,087
She's a complicated
little thing, that Hailey.
499
00:20:24,089 --> 00:20:25,436
Say her name again.
500
00:20:25,438 --> 00:20:28,091
I am so glad that she
and I had the chance
501
00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:30,485
to get to know each
other over the holidays.
502
00:20:30,487 --> 00:20:32,617
I know you think
you're a real sick fuck,
503
00:20:32,619 --> 00:20:36,273
but trust me.
504
00:20:36,275 --> 00:20:38,580
You're a goddamn amateur
compared to what goes on
505
00:20:38,582 --> 00:20:41,191
on top of this skull right here.
506
00:20:41,193 --> 00:20:43,411
Now, you're not half
capable of understanding
507
00:20:43,413 --> 00:20:46,501
what the fuck I would do to you
if you ever touched that child.
508
00:20:46,503 --> 00:20:48,503
Don't insult me.
509
00:20:48,505 --> 00:20:50,461
I can assure you I have no intention
510
00:20:50,463 --> 00:20:52,681
of touching your daughter.
511
00:20:52,683 --> 00:20:54,726
What I have in mind for you
512
00:20:54,728 --> 00:20:57,381
is on a completely
different level of fuckery.
513
00:20:57,383 --> 00:20:59,949
You truly have no idea.
514
00:20:59,951 --> 00:21:03,256
It almost makes me feel...
515
00:21:03,258 --> 00:21:07,086
well, no.
516
00:21:07,088 --> 00:21:09,349
But she has been in there
a long time, hasn't she?
517
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:12,309
I hope she's okay.
518
00:21:12,311 --> 00:21:14,616
Make a wish.
519
00:21:14,618 --> 00:21:16,705
♪
520
00:21:16,707 --> 00:21:19,234
- [GRUNTS]
- Oh, my God, Dad!
521
00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:20,406
Washing your hands, that's good.
522
00:21:20,408 --> 00:21:21,492
There are a lot of germs everywhere.
523
00:21:21,494 --> 00:21:24,103
I'll let you finish up.
524
00:21:24,105 --> 00:21:26,497
["SLAVE TO LOVE"
CONTINUES OVER SPEAKERS]
525
00:21:26,499 --> 00:21:30,240
♪ And the spring is turning ♪
526
00:21:30,242 --> 00:21:32,155
Grab your shit. We're
going to Grandma's.
527
00:21:32,157 --> 00:21:34,462
- Grandma's dead.
- [SIGHS]
528
00:21:34,464 --> 00:21:36,273
Not that grandma.
529
00:21:36,276 --> 00:21:39,510
- ♪ I can see your smile
- ALL: ♪ Slave to love ♪
530
00:21:39,512 --> 00:21:41,686
- ♪ Na-na-na-na ♪
- ♪ Oh! ♪
531
00:21:41,688 --> 00:21:44,689
[FUNKY MUSIC]
532
00:21:44,691 --> 00:21:46,212
♪
533
00:21:46,214 --> 00:21:47,692
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
534
00:21:47,694 --> 00:21:52,567
♪
535
00:21:52,569 --> 00:21:55,395
[DOOR CREAKS]
536
00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:58,800
I bought three boxes of
Samoas from you last week,
537
00:21:58,803 --> 00:22:01,020
Now what, are you crooks
trying to rob my pension?
538
00:22:01,023 --> 00:22:02,533
Mom, Ma, it's me.
539
00:22:02,535 --> 00:22:04,711
Nicky.
540
00:22:08,541 --> 00:22:10,541
Drawing a blank.
541
00:22:10,543 --> 00:22:14,023
Don't you recognize your own kid?
542
00:22:14,025 --> 00:22:15,415
She don't look nothing like me.
543
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:16,634
Not her, me.
544
00:22:16,636 --> 00:22:18,680
Nicky, I'm busting your balls.
545
00:22:18,682 --> 00:22:20,038
I'm fuckin' with you. Come on in.
546
00:22:20,041 --> 00:22:21,432
You look like shit, by the way.
547
00:22:21,435 --> 00:22:24,087
Entrez-vous, kids.
548
00:22:24,090 --> 00:22:25,686
Um...
549
00:22:25,689 --> 00:22:26,818
[DOOR SLAMS]
550
00:22:26,820 --> 00:22:28,690
Yeah, yeah, I know it's been a while.
551
00:22:28,692 --> 00:22:33,085
Time flies when we're dodging
familial responsibilities.
552
00:22:33,087 --> 00:22:34,739
- Who wants a drink?
- Eh, no.
553
00:22:34,741 --> 00:22:36,654
I'm... I'm dry-ish.
554
00:22:36,656 --> 00:22:37,949
One bullshit. How about you?
555
00:22:37,952 --> 00:22:39,483
Now, Ma, come on.
556
00:22:39,485 --> 00:22:42,268
What? Virgin.
557
00:22:42,270 --> 00:22:44,270
- It's not.
- No booze for the kid!
558
00:22:44,272 --> 00:22:47,186
It's called manners, you ape.
559
00:22:47,188 --> 00:22:50,363
Whatever floats your boat.
560
00:22:50,365 --> 00:22:53,453
Oh, I'm just glad you got back in time.
561
00:22:53,455 --> 00:22:55,586
I got the cancer.
562
00:22:55,588 --> 00:22:57,327
The big "C".
563
00:22:57,329 --> 00:22:59,677
Doctors give me 15, 20 good years left.
564
00:22:59,679 --> 00:23:01,505
Ah, Christ, Ma.
565
00:23:01,507 --> 00:23:04,116
It's already left a mark.
566
00:23:04,118 --> 00:23:05,727
I'm sorry.
567
00:23:05,729 --> 00:23:07,337
Well,
568
00:23:07,339 --> 00:23:10,470
not as much as he is, kiddo.
569
00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:11,863
Right here.
570
00:23:11,865 --> 00:23:14,431
Right here's where the
milky magic used to happen.
571
00:23:14,433 --> 00:23:15,737
Why are we sharing this?
572
00:23:15,739 --> 00:23:19,131
It's called conversation, you orangutan.
573
00:23:19,133 --> 00:23:21,481
All right, brass tacks now.
574
00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:23,788
Who's my competition? [SNARLS]
575
00:23:23,790 --> 00:23:26,574
Uh, Janet, this is, uh...
576
00:23:26,576 --> 00:23:30,447
This is your granddaughter, Hailey.
577
00:23:30,449 --> 00:23:32,623
And she has a name.
578
00:23:32,625 --> 00:23:34,756
Oh, and by the looks of
things, she's had it for what?
579
00:23:34,758 --> 00:23:36,453
Nine, ten years?
580
00:23:36,455 --> 00:23:38,760
11, just.
581
00:23:38,762 --> 00:23:40,718
Oh, belated.
582
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:44,156
All right, look... All
right, I know it's been
583
00:23:44,158 --> 00:23:45,462
a long time, and... and I know
584
00:23:45,464 --> 00:23:46,724
I should have told you about the kid.
585
00:23:46,726 --> 00:23:48,770
- And the kid about her.
- I was gonna get to it!
586
00:23:48,772 --> 00:23:50,510
You know, we had a lot to cover!
587
00:23:50,512 --> 00:23:53,013
But we're here now, right, all together.
588
00:23:53,016 --> 00:23:55,196
And I just thought
maybe it'd be a good time
589
00:23:55,199 --> 00:23:57,318
for yous to get to
know each other, right?
590
00:23:57,321 --> 00:23:59,258
- Bonding time.
- "Bonding time"?
591
00:23:59,260 --> 00:24:02,740
- Bonding time.
- "Bonding."
592
00:24:02,742 --> 00:24:04,829
I'll bond you with the back of my hand,
593
00:24:04,831 --> 00:24:06,396
you bed-wetting bastard!
594
00:24:06,398 --> 00:24:07,927
- Now out with it!
- Stay here.
595
00:24:07,930 --> 00:24:10,271
[GRUNTS, SIGHS]
596
00:24:11,577 --> 00:24:14,491
As I'm sure you're aware, I got a, um,
597
00:24:14,493 --> 00:24:17,363
tendency to attract
negative energy to me...
598
00:24:17,365 --> 00:24:21,193
Nothing I can't handle...
But with the kid...
599
00:24:21,195 --> 00:24:24,544
You know, if Hailey's close
to me, then she ain't safe.
600
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:25,938
[MUFFLED] You know?
601
00:24:25,941 --> 00:24:27,808
She needs her Grandma Sax.
602
00:24:27,811 --> 00:24:29,506
- "Grandma"?
- Okay, Janet.
603
00:24:29,508 --> 00:24:32,161
But I just need someone
I can trust who can...
604
00:24:32,163 --> 00:24:34,380
All right, don't get
your tighties in a tizzy.
605
00:24:34,382 --> 00:24:35,817
I've been taking care of things
606
00:24:35,819 --> 00:24:37,514
since before your butthole turned brown.
607
00:24:37,516 --> 00:24:39,472
I'll take care of her now.
608
00:24:39,474 --> 00:24:41,692
I'll watch the kid.
609
00:24:41,694 --> 00:24:44,695
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]
610
00:24:44,697 --> 00:24:46,523
♪
611
00:24:46,525 --> 00:24:48,438
[SIGHS]
612
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,309
[CLICKS TONGUE]
613
00:24:50,311 --> 00:24:51,654
Let me guess. You gotta go.
614
00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:53,004
There's only one thing I want,
615
00:24:53,007 --> 00:24:54,223
and that's for you to be safe.
616
00:24:54,226 --> 00:24:56,228
And that's why I gotta
do what I gotta do.
617
00:24:56,230 --> 00:24:58,317
Sure. Go.
618
00:24:58,319 --> 00:25:00,529
♪
619
00:25:00,539 --> 00:25:02,278
You're gonna be okay
here. You know that, right?
620
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:03,714
I'm gonna come back for you.
621
00:25:03,716 --> 00:25:06,369
Yep.
622
00:25:06,371 --> 00:25:08,980
Okay.
623
00:25:08,982 --> 00:25:11,504
Try to keep her away from
the goddamn moonshine.
624
00:25:11,506 --> 00:25:14,725
I mean, that shit will just
knock a horse on its ass.
625
00:25:14,727 --> 00:25:17,641
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
626
00:25:17,643 --> 00:25:20,949
You just need to relax.
627
00:25:20,951 --> 00:25:23,255
Okay... [GOOFY WHINNY]
628
00:25:23,257 --> 00:25:24,648
Those come off?
629
00:25:24,650 --> 00:25:28,391
They're not the only
things that can come off.
630
00:25:28,393 --> 00:25:31,873
♪ Uh, touch me ♪
631
00:25:31,875 --> 00:25:34,440
♪ I wanna feel your body ♪
632
00:25:34,442 --> 00:25:37,443
♪ Ooh ♪
633
00:25:37,445 --> 00:25:40,446
[SAMANTHA FOX'S "TOUCH
ME" PLAYING OVER BOOM BOX]
634
00:25:40,448 --> 00:25:42,710
[GRUNTS]
635
00:25:42,712 --> 00:25:44,929
- ♪ This is the night ♪
- ♪ Touch me ♪
636
00:25:44,931 --> 00:25:48,411
♪ Touch me, I want to feel your body ♪
637
00:25:48,413 --> 00:25:52,894
♪ Your heartbeat next to mine ♪
638
00:25:52,896 --> 00:25:57,084
- ♪ This is the night ♪
- ♪ 'Cause I want your body ♪
639
00:25:57,087 --> 00:26:00,423
♪ All the time ♪
640
00:26:00,425 --> 00:26:03,948
Well, that's something
I've never seen before.
641
00:26:03,950 --> 00:26:07,430
Do you think it'll
taste like bananas now?
642
00:26:07,432 --> 00:26:08,639
I don't know.
643
00:26:08,642 --> 00:26:10,825
Haven't you ever tasted
your own horn before?
644
00:26:10,827 --> 00:26:13,305
Well, I'm not really built that way.
645
00:26:13,307 --> 00:26:14,611
Plus, if I could,
646
00:26:14,613 --> 00:26:16,439
I don't think I'd ever leave the house.
647
00:26:16,441 --> 00:26:18,441
I love bananas.
648
00:26:18,443 --> 00:26:20,617
All right, enough talk.
649
00:26:20,619 --> 00:26:21,966
Here it comes.
650
00:26:21,968 --> 00:26:24,012
Here comes the fun.
651
00:26:24,014 --> 00:26:26,449
♪ Touch me ♪
652
00:26:26,451 --> 00:26:29,584
- Are you ready?
- [GULPS]
653
00:26:32,856 --> 00:26:35,048
So then he grabbed the
gun and shot Santa Claus
654
00:26:35,051 --> 00:26:36,979
right between the eyes.
655
00:26:36,982 --> 00:26:38,721
[LIQUID POURING]
656
00:26:38,723 --> 00:26:41,202
And that's how I met my dad.
657
00:26:41,204 --> 00:26:43,726
Much better story than how I met my dad.
658
00:26:43,728 --> 00:26:45,162
- How?
- [GRUNTS]
659
00:26:45,164 --> 00:26:46,686
At his funeral.
660
00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:49,428
I, uh... ah, there you are.
661
00:26:49,430 --> 00:26:51,081
[SPITS]
662
00:26:51,083 --> 00:26:54,520
Ah, bless you, child.
663
00:26:54,522 --> 00:26:55,956
- Is this my dad?
- Mm-hmm.
664
00:26:55,958 --> 00:26:57,610
Yeah, eighth grade.
665
00:26:57,612 --> 00:26:59,655
That picture speaks a thousand words,
666
00:26:59,657 --> 00:27:01,527
most of them not for publication.
667
00:27:01,529 --> 00:27:03,659
Nicky was the soft
one... Runt of the litter.
668
00:27:03,661 --> 00:27:06,502
Everyone thought he was special,
669
00:27:06,505 --> 00:27:08,795
so much so we thought about
taking him out to the woods
670
00:27:08,797 --> 00:27:12,189
and just setting him free.
671
00:27:12,191 --> 00:27:14,191
I'm joking.
672
00:27:14,193 --> 00:27:16,890
Honey, freshen.
673
00:27:16,892 --> 00:27:20,937
So, you are a Sax, hmm?
674
00:27:20,939 --> 00:27:24,158
[SPITS] From Saxi, in the Nordic.
675
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:25,942
That's Scandinavian.
676
00:27:25,944 --> 00:27:28,771
In fact, that's where we
get the Sax family crest...
677
00:27:28,773 --> 00:27:31,992
Two gnomes crossing
their itty bitty daggers
678
00:27:31,994 --> 00:27:34,951
beneath a flag that reads...
679
00:27:34,953 --> 00:27:36,953
"Size don't matter."
680
00:27:36,955 --> 00:27:39,173
[FUNKY MUSIC]
681
00:27:39,175 --> 00:27:40,728
You know, us Sax's, sometimes,
682
00:27:40,731 --> 00:27:43,090
we get the short end of the stick.
683
00:27:43,092 --> 00:27:45,179
But we fight back, always.
684
00:27:45,181 --> 00:27:46,963
And so what about you, child?
685
00:27:46,965 --> 00:27:48,748
Any fight in you?
686
00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:51,968
When I have to, but it's
hard when you're little.
687
00:27:51,970 --> 00:27:54,841
That's when you fight dirty.
688
00:27:54,843 --> 00:27:57,626
That's the first thing
I taught your father.
689
00:27:57,628 --> 00:27:59,846
The bigger they are,
690
00:27:59,848 --> 00:28:02,109
the more it hurts below the belt.
691
00:28:02,111 --> 00:28:04,285
♪
692
00:28:04,287 --> 00:28:08,289
Tricky Dick Nixon, that
is a good cocktail, child.
693
00:28:08,291 --> 00:28:10,552
Don't touch.
694
00:28:10,554 --> 00:28:12,859
[SIGHS]
695
00:28:12,861 --> 00:28:15,557
Good afternoon. I'm Julie.
696
00:28:15,559 --> 00:28:17,820
May I call you Amanda?
697
00:28:17,822 --> 00:28:20,823
Your blood pressure's
great. Your weight's great.
698
00:28:20,825 --> 00:28:23,260
Your temp is 98.6 on the dot.
699
00:28:23,262 --> 00:28:24,958
- Any pain?
- Nope.
700
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:26,263
- Spotting?
- Nope.
701
00:28:26,265 --> 00:28:29,049
How about change in
mood? Any depression?
702
00:28:29,051 --> 00:28:31,007
I don't want to talk about it, Julie.
703
00:28:31,009 --> 00:28:33,880
Aww, well, a little bit of
moodiness is to be expected
704
00:28:33,882 --> 00:28:37,666
with the change in hormones.
705
00:28:37,668 --> 00:28:40,669
- You're saying...
- The test came back positive.
706
00:28:40,671 --> 00:28:42,236
That's not possible.
707
00:28:42,238 --> 00:28:44,804
Oh, some of life's greatest
blessings aren't planned.
708
00:28:44,806 --> 00:28:45,848
What are my options?
709
00:28:45,850 --> 00:28:47,241
You can see the child to term
710
00:28:47,243 --> 00:28:49,199
and then choose to
either keep him or her,
711
00:28:49,201 --> 00:28:52,551
or you can give them up for adoption.
712
00:28:52,553 --> 00:28:54,988
And my third option?
713
00:28:54,990 --> 00:28:58,165
Oh, you mean murder?
714
00:28:58,167 --> 00:29:00,210
[LAUGHS]
715
00:29:00,212 --> 00:29:02,038
[PEACEFUL MUSIC]
716
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:02,980
I'm sorry?
717
00:29:02,983 --> 00:29:05,911
You are going to have a
beautiful child of God,
718
00:29:05,914 --> 00:29:08,741
and hopefully he or
she looks just like you.
719
00:29:08,743 --> 00:29:12,222
- So beautiful.
- I'm not having it.
720
00:29:12,224 --> 00:29:15,704
I think it's wise that
you understand the facts.
721
00:29:15,706 --> 00:29:18,054
Cervical cancer spikes post-abortion.
722
00:29:18,056 --> 00:29:20,994
You have an 87% chance
of becoming sterile,
723
00:29:20,997 --> 00:29:24,233
and often, we are unable to
remove all the baby's limbs
724
00:29:24,236 --> 00:29:25,671
and digits from the womb.
725
00:29:25,673 --> 00:29:26,603
What?
726
00:29:26,606 --> 00:29:29,477
They kind of just float around...
727
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,111
causing all sorts of medical issues,
728
00:29:31,113 --> 00:29:32,572
as you can imagine.
729
00:29:32,575 --> 00:29:34,940
What the hell kind of
women's health clinic is this?
730
00:29:34,943 --> 00:29:36,899
The kind that can save your soul.
731
00:29:36,901 --> 00:29:38,031
Okay.
732
00:29:38,033 --> 00:29:39,902
You have an 11-year-old daughter?
733
00:29:39,904 --> 00:29:41,730
How would she feel about
734
00:29:41,732 --> 00:29:43,732
you killing her little
brother or sister?
735
00:29:43,734 --> 00:29:46,387
Fuck you, Julie.
736
00:29:46,389 --> 00:29:49,390
[SINISTER MUSIC]
737
00:29:49,392 --> 00:29:53,307
♪
738
00:29:53,309 --> 00:29:55,788
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
739
00:29:55,790 --> 00:30:02,840
♪
740
00:30:04,276 --> 00:30:07,715
[INTERMITTENT STATIC]
741
00:30:08,324 --> 00:30:15,374
♪
742
00:30:17,725 --> 00:30:20,682
[REVELATORY MUSIC]
743
00:30:20,684 --> 00:30:23,119
[SNORING SOFTLY]
744
00:30:23,121 --> 00:30:25,687
[PHONE VIBRATING]
745
00:30:25,689 --> 00:30:28,690
[DEVIOUS MUSIC]
746
00:30:28,692 --> 00:30:35,697
♪
747
00:30:35,699 --> 00:30:38,700
[CONTINUES SNORING SOFTLY]
748
00:30:38,702 --> 00:30:45,709
♪
749
00:30:46,405 --> 00:30:47,753
[DOOR OPENS]
750
00:30:47,755 --> 00:30:49,668
[MAN SCREAMING]
751
00:30:49,670 --> 00:30:52,322
Holy shit.
752
00:30:52,324 --> 00:30:54,936
[DOOR SLAMS]
753
00:30:57,765 --> 00:31:00,809
[SPLUTTERS] You need to work on your aim!
754
00:31:00,811 --> 00:31:02,419
- What?
- Smoothie!
755
00:31:02,421 --> 00:31:04,073
He's alive... one eye down,
756
00:31:04,075 --> 00:31:07,947
but still with the same
sparkling personality.
757
00:31:07,949 --> 00:31:10,819
What is... What is that?
758
00:31:10,821 --> 00:31:11,951
- Sax...
- You knew.
759
00:31:11,953 --> 00:31:14,701
- You knew?
- I saw him at Shine Tower.
760
00:31:14,704 --> 00:31:17,043
You know, when we were... I
don't think he realized it was me.
761
00:31:17,045 --> 00:31:18,218
I was gonna tell you...
762
00:31:18,220 --> 00:31:19,828
I'm gonna tear your head off right now.
763
00:31:19,830 --> 00:31:21,047
Yeah, tough guy? What's stopping you?
764
00:31:21,049 --> 00:31:22,935
"You were right" is what's stopping me.
765
00:31:22,938 --> 00:31:24,591
We should have gone
after this son of a bitch
766
00:31:24,593 --> 00:31:25,834
a long time ago.
767
00:31:25,836 --> 00:31:27,409
The Kap tape... You have to see this.
768
00:31:27,412 --> 00:31:29,011
Oh, this?
769
00:31:29,013 --> 00:31:30,491
Hell, Sax!
770
00:31:30,493 --> 00:31:33,059
We could flip him. We
can get him to testify.
771
00:31:33,061 --> 00:31:35,017
You get your revenge.
I get my badge back.
772
00:31:35,019 --> 00:31:37,977
Oh, shove your badge up your vadge.
773
00:31:37,979 --> 00:31:40,501
They're all in this together.
774
00:31:40,503 --> 00:31:42,503
I should have seen it.
775
00:31:42,505 --> 00:31:45,375
I take out Shine, and from
him, I get to Smoothie.
776
00:31:45,377 --> 00:31:48,204
If Le Dic can get me anywhere
near that sequined clown,
777
00:31:48,206 --> 00:31:50,337
then we take him out.
778
00:31:50,339 --> 00:31:53,035
We finish this... my way.
779
00:31:53,037 --> 00:31:54,210
I know what you're feeling right now...
780
00:31:54,212 --> 00:31:55,429
- Do you?
- But you have to take
781
00:31:55,431 --> 00:31:57,213
a step back and take a breath.
782
00:31:57,215 --> 00:31:58,388
You could be walking into a trap.
783
00:31:58,390 --> 00:32:00,303
Mer, you invited me into this pool.
784
00:32:00,305 --> 00:32:03,219
Well, here the fuck I
am, weenie bikini and all.
785
00:32:03,221 --> 00:32:05,831
Where are you? Not in that pool.
786
00:32:05,833 --> 00:32:07,528
The one thing I've learned
787
00:32:07,530 --> 00:32:09,878
is you can't underestimate Shine.
788
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:13,360
[TENSE MUSIC]
789
00:32:13,362 --> 00:32:16,058
I've been out there, Mer.
790
00:32:16,060 --> 00:32:18,408
Driving a cab, taking my
little kid to school...
791
00:32:18,410 --> 00:32:21,107
Just living a normal life
792
00:32:21,109 --> 00:32:23,979
like any other average chump.
793
00:32:23,981 --> 00:32:25,388
I've been a sitting duck.
794
00:32:25,391 --> 00:32:29,028
He could have after
me anytime he wanted...
795
00:32:29,030 --> 00:32:31,857
[SIGHS] But he didn't.
796
00:32:31,859 --> 00:32:34,120
Now, maybe he thought
that I wasn't a threat.
797
00:32:34,122 --> 00:32:36,035
Maybe he thought that there's
no way I could touch him,
798
00:32:36,037 --> 00:32:39,865
so maybe, just maybe, Mer...
799
00:32:39,867 --> 00:32:42,258
♪
800
00:32:42,260 --> 00:32:45,958
Maybe he underestimated me.
801
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,849
[MUFFLED BANG]
802
00:32:48,919 --> 00:32:50,963
[MUFFLED BANG]
803
00:32:50,965 --> 00:32:53,139
[MELLOW MUSIC]
804
00:32:53,141 --> 00:32:55,184
They make you look so grown up.
805
00:32:55,186 --> 00:32:57,099
Do they still hurt?
806
00:32:57,101 --> 00:32:58,971
Not as bad as I thought.
807
00:32:58,973 --> 00:33:02,104
Well, a little pain never hurt anyone.
808
00:33:02,106 --> 00:33:04,977
- I like them.
- My mom's gonna kill me.
809
00:33:04,979 --> 00:33:08,023
♪
810
00:33:08,025 --> 00:33:11,331
Parents always tell you that
you're too young for things,
811
00:33:11,333 --> 00:33:14,377
but no matter how desperately they try,
812
00:33:14,379 --> 00:33:18,294
they can't stop you from growing up.
813
00:33:18,296 --> 00:33:20,906
Where were you when I texted?
814
00:33:20,908 --> 00:33:23,212
I thought you knew everything.
815
00:33:23,214 --> 00:33:25,954
♪
816
00:33:25,956 --> 00:33:28,043
Dropped off again
817
00:33:28,045 --> 00:33:31,307
from relative to relative.
818
00:33:31,309 --> 00:33:33,483
Sometimes it feels
like no one wants you.
819
00:33:33,485 --> 00:33:35,050
I know how that is.
820
00:33:35,052 --> 00:33:36,878
You don't know anything about me.
821
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:40,055
We have more in common
than you might think.
822
00:33:40,057 --> 00:33:43,493
♪
823
00:33:43,495 --> 00:33:45,104
[CHUCKLES] It wasn't long ago
824
00:33:45,106 --> 00:33:46,975
that you were one of those children.
825
00:33:46,977 --> 00:33:49,456
What was it? "Not one wish..."
826
00:33:49,458 --> 00:33:51,442
Not just two wishes!
827
00:33:51,445 --> 00:33:55,331
"But three wishes."
828
00:33:55,333 --> 00:33:57,638
They never came true, did they?
829
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:01,120
Mine did. I wanted to meet my dad.
830
00:34:01,122 --> 00:34:04,210
That's so sweet. [CHUCKLES]
831
00:34:04,212 --> 00:34:06,342
But was he everything you wished for?
832
00:34:06,344 --> 00:34:10,912
♪
833
00:34:10,914 --> 00:34:13,654
I can never be like that anymore, can I?
834
00:34:13,656 --> 00:34:16,526
No, you can never be naive again.
835
00:34:16,528 --> 00:34:19,007
No longer a child, a victim,
836
00:34:19,009 --> 00:34:21,488
like a little lamb, eyes to the clouds,
837
00:34:21,490 --> 00:34:23,316
led singing to the slaughterhouse.
838
00:34:23,318 --> 00:34:25,231
You have seen so much.
839
00:34:25,233 --> 00:34:27,059
You could be little forever.
840
00:34:27,061 --> 00:34:30,149
Your perception has sharpened.
841
00:34:30,151 --> 00:34:33,021
You can see things they can't see.
842
00:34:33,023 --> 00:34:36,503
The truth behind the artifice.
843
00:34:36,505 --> 00:34:40,942
Now all you have to do is...
844
00:34:40,944 --> 00:34:42,552
look.
845
00:34:42,554 --> 00:34:45,555
[SINISTER MUSIC]
846
00:34:45,557 --> 00:34:51,997
♪
847
00:34:51,999 --> 00:34:53,302
[RADICAL ROCK MUSIC]
848
00:34:53,304 --> 00:34:58,307
[DRAWN-OUT] Why are you buzzing?
849
00:34:58,309 --> 00:35:02,398
[DRAWN-OUT] I don't know!
850
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:04,574
♪
851
00:35:04,576 --> 00:35:07,708
[HORN VIBRATING]
852
00:35:07,710 --> 00:35:10,145
[HOLLERS]
853
00:35:10,147 --> 00:35:12,452
♪
854
00:35:12,454 --> 00:35:14,671
Phew.
855
00:35:14,673 --> 00:35:16,412
[PANTING]
856
00:35:16,414 --> 00:35:19,633
Well, it doesn't get
much weirder than that.
857
00:35:19,635 --> 00:35:22,029
[GOO SQUELCHING]
858
00:35:24,683 --> 00:35:30,077
♪ I'm always chasing rainbows ♪
859
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:34,909
♪ Watching the clouds passing by ♪
860
00:35:34,911 --> 00:35:38,144
♪ My schemes are just like ♪
861
00:35:38,147 --> 00:35:41,002
♪ All my dreams ♪
862
00:35:41,004 --> 00:35:43,962
♪ Ending in the sky ♪
863
00:35:43,964 --> 00:35:46,705
♪ Some fellows ♪
864
00:35:48,751 --> 00:35:51,143
You know, it's happening tonight.
865
00:35:51,145 --> 00:35:53,493
[TENSE MUSIC]
866
00:35:53,495 --> 00:35:56,409
My smart, splendid lads,
867
00:35:56,411 --> 00:35:58,150
I think there's a very good chance
868
00:35:58,152 --> 00:36:01,196
that you'll both be
alive to see the sunny,
869
00:36:01,198 --> 00:36:03,764
sunny light of day.
870
00:36:03,766 --> 00:36:07,028
What the hell?
871
00:36:07,030 --> 00:36:09,030
[GRUNTS]
872
00:36:09,032 --> 00:36:11,815
[MUFFLED SHOUTING]
873
00:36:11,817 --> 00:36:14,079
[GROANS]
874
00:36:14,081 --> 00:36:16,646
[HOLLERING]
875
00:36:16,648 --> 00:36:19,432
[STAMMERING, HOLLERING] Let me out!
876
00:36:19,434 --> 00:36:21,695
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
877
00:36:21,697 --> 00:36:24,089
[GRUNTS, HOLLERS]
878
00:36:24,091 --> 00:36:26,961
[GRUNTING] Pink!
879
00:36:26,963 --> 00:36:29,746
[ALARM WAILING]
880
00:36:29,748 --> 00:36:31,879
♪
881
00:36:31,881 --> 00:36:34,708
- [GRUNTS]
- [HOLLERS]
882
00:36:34,710 --> 00:36:41,715
♪
883
00:36:41,717 --> 00:36:45,197
[HOLLERS]
884
00:36:45,199 --> 00:36:47,938
I'm sorry.
885
00:36:47,940 --> 00:36:51,855
Pink, I'm scared.
886
00:36:51,857 --> 00:36:55,033
I love you.
887
00:36:55,035 --> 00:36:58,038
[BOTH HOLLERING]
888
00:37:02,564 --> 00:37:03,867
[MELLOW MUSIC]
889
00:37:03,869 --> 00:37:06,174
Wow, what was that?
890
00:37:06,176 --> 00:37:07,654
I dunno,
891
00:37:07,656 --> 00:37:10,135
but I'd order it again on a Sunday.
892
00:37:10,137 --> 00:37:16,750
♪
893
00:37:16,752 --> 00:37:18,056
What?
894
00:37:18,058 --> 00:37:20,797
Nothing, it's just...
895
00:37:20,799 --> 00:37:22,147
You're so pretty.
896
00:37:22,149 --> 00:37:25,498
[GIGGLES]
897
00:37:25,500 --> 00:37:27,804
Oh, no, no thanks. I don't smoke.
898
00:37:27,806 --> 00:37:30,111
But I do spoon.
899
00:37:30,113 --> 00:37:32,070
♪
900
00:37:32,072 --> 00:37:33,767
This is nice.
901
00:37:33,769 --> 00:37:35,682
Most guys just want to fork.
902
00:37:35,684 --> 00:37:38,163
You know, you can stay for a while...
903
00:37:38,165 --> 00:37:39,294
Like... like all night.
904
00:37:39,296 --> 00:37:40,989
I... I mean, if you want.
905
00:37:40,992 --> 00:37:42,905
You want me to stay all night?
906
00:37:42,908 --> 00:37:44,125
Sure!
907
00:37:44,127 --> 00:37:46,562
Oh, we... we could have
chocolate chip pancakes
908
00:37:46,564 --> 00:37:49,043
in the morning, like at a sleepover.
909
00:37:49,045 --> 00:37:52,133
Well, I do love pancakes.
910
00:37:52,135 --> 00:37:55,745
But won't your friend be
wondering where you are?
911
00:37:55,747 --> 00:37:57,791
Oh, who cares about him?
912
00:37:57,793 --> 00:38:01,229
He's probably somewhere dumb and boring.
913
00:38:01,231 --> 00:38:04,711
[YAWNING] Doing dumb...
914
00:38:04,713 --> 00:38:06,191
boring stuff.
915
00:38:06,193 --> 00:38:09,194
[HEAVY ELECTROPOP MUSIC]
916
00:38:09,196 --> 00:38:12,197
[MUFFLED MOANING]
917
00:38:12,199 --> 00:38:19,206
♪
918
00:38:49,627 --> 00:38:56,678
♪
919
00:39:06,905 --> 00:39:09,341
Amanda?
920
00:39:09,343 --> 00:39:11,778
Nick.
921
00:39:11,780 --> 00:39:15,439
♪
922
00:39:15,442 --> 00:39:21,431
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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