Original subtitles

(Chirping)

(Woman) Honey...

(Woman moaning)

(Man breathing heavily) Oh, come on, please.

(Woman moaning)

Please wait.

Oh, Ted!

Oh, honey! Tell me you love me.

(Ted) I told you.

(Woman) Yes, but tell me again.

Angie, you know how much I care for you.

Yes, but tell me you love me.

God... Don't move!

(Angie moans) Please wait.

(Moaning)

Oh, no. Ted, you promised.

It's not that. The damn thing got caught in my zipper.

Jeez, that hurts!

This wasn't one of your better ideas anyway.

Besides, I'm getting cold.

Oh, please, Angie. Please.

The mill freight runs over this thing at ten o'clock tonight.

And if we time it out right,

I promise

I can make this a night that you won't forget for the rest of your life.

Yes, but tell me you love me.

I love you, I love you.

I think I'm hearing it, Ted.

(Rumbling)

It's coming, it's coming.

(Train horn blares)

(Moaning)

(Groaning, train horn blares)

(Groaning)

(Screaming)

(Bicycle bell ringing)

(Car horn beeping)

- Hey, Sheriff. - Hey, R.C.

Keep the powder dry, huh?

Sure thing.

(Shopkeeper) Avery, I don't know where the hell he is,

but if you find him, you can tell him from me he's fired.

Now, Arch, you know if Ted's run off with that girl,

he's gonna be needing a job when he gets back here.

(Arch) Oh, pal, you be the Good Samaritan.

That ain't my problem.

As for me, he's fired.

(Sheriff) Here! Come here.

Here!

What's the matter with you, boy? You wanna go blind?

(Arch) Lily, can't you do anything right today?

Arch, you're gonna have to watch that stuff over there.

Avery, forget everything I just said.

You find that boy, tell him to get his ass back here on Monday.

You just wouldn't believe what I gotta put up with in this place.

Oh, Arch, you got a big old heart there, you know, just a big old heart.

Get the hell out of here, Avery.

- I'll see ya. - Yeah.

- Dennis, way to go! - Let's go, come on.

Go, Lawrence. George.

Here you go, George.

Alright, let's go!

OK, here you go, Eric.

Way to back him up!

(Whistle blows)

- Way to go! - (Cheering)

Way to go!

Ugh! I could use a bath.

Yeah, I've noticed.

You're not exactly a rose garden.

OK, give me the bad news.

Well, not as bad as last year.

Only five balls, two bats and one base.

One base? Now, who the hell would want one base?

I'll give you three guesses. And the first two don't count.

Casey?

Oh, I don't think Casey would do that.

He sure runs like a bat out of hell.

Well, those are the hazards of Spring Practice.

All in all it wasn't a bad year.

What's with this "year" stuff? It's only been two weeks.

- Just seems like a year. - I don't know. I'm gonna kind of miss it.

Yeah, me too. Like jock itch.

Crude, Bob. Really crude.

What do you say I, uh... treat my two favorite assistants to a beer?

(Both) Alright!

You got to carry the bag, though.

- Aw, come on! - First one to the car gets two beers!

Ooh!

(♪ Instrumental country music playing)

Ramona? Ready up!

Now, that's more like it.

- Celebrating? - Yeah, end of Spring Practice.

- Cheers! - L'chaim!

- "L'chaim"? - Well, it's the only toast I know.

Sure beats "cheers".

Wait till I get you to school. I'll teach you some new toasts.

"To all the girls who like to play."

That's the one! What college did you go to, Ramona?

None. I told you, I just like to play.

(Laughs) Oh!

Excited?

Scared, if you want to know the truth.

You're gonna do fine.

- That's what I keep telling her. - Thanks.

I mean, I'm gonna be there, teaching you the right moves.

How to get "A" ♪ in Freshman English.

In spite of him, you're gonna be alright.

Sure gonna start slowing down around here once everybody's left.

Oh, we'll make out alright. We have before, and we will again.

Oh, that reminds me - are you working tomorrow?

Oh, come on, Jackson.

Get Beula. The carnival's coming in tomorrow.

I take it that means you're not gonna be here.

- Look, it's not my day, and besides... - Just asking!

I mean, the fact that we're gonna have a crowd coming out our kazoo...

- Oh, crap, Jackson. - OK, we'll make out.

Didn't know you went in for all the kiddie rides.

I don't. I like 'em big.

Oh, I bet you do.

Thank you kindly. Come again.

Hey, don't rush off.

Thanks, Jackson, but Dad'll just kill me for being here anyway.

One beer, and she's an alcoholic.

- Now what? - Just mine, Jackson.

- What's the damage? - $2.75.

Gonna be kinda lonesome around here with everyone leaving.

Then again, I'm not going anywhere.

- Walter, what's the word? - Uh, nothing yet.

You know how kids are. They'll show up.

Yeah, who can figure 'em. What'll it be?

- Oh, give me a beer. - OK, coming right up.

I know, but I've just never been away from home that much.

Well, I'll be there to take care of you.

Oh, sure, you're just gonna love having to babysit me.

That wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

You know, I wish our break was just beginning instead of ending.

Maybe I would've spent more time thinking about school than just having fun.

"Fun"?

Are you crazy? That was slave labor.

Snotty-nosed little kids plotting against us...

Crazy Casey stealing bases...

And you... ganging up your girls against my all-star boys' team.

And we beat you, too, didn't we?

Women forever... superior beings.

(Scoffs)

Well

- I do wish you had two more weeks. - So we could beat you again?

No, so I could do things a little differently.

Well, I better get in and get cleaned up.

- Your parents driving you to school? - Just Mom. Dad's gotta work.

You know Dad - I think he's afraid I might see him cry.

Um, Kathy... How about if I call you tomorrow?

Maybe we could go down to the river or something?

- Sure, why not? - OK.

Oh, wait a minute, tomorrow's the carnival. I've got to help with one of the booths.

Oh.

- Well, OK. - Do you want to help?

Sure, I'll see you there.

Good.

- Um, Kathy? - Huh?

Never mind.

I'll see you tomorrow.

- Good night, Mr. Johnson. - Night, Lily.

Oh, do you think you could be on time tomorrow?

But I don't work tomorrow.

- Oh. - I could if you wanted?

No, no, that's... That's alright. Have a nice weekend.

- Alright, good night. - Good night.

(Owl hooting)

(Train approaching, screaming)

Grandma, I'm home.

- Grandma? - (Grandma) I'm back here.

Aw, you made good time tonight.

- I'm not nearly ready. - (Lily) Mm, it smells good.

Oh, the police were in today. They were trying to find Ted.

Always said that boy would be worth nothing.

Huh! Police no less.

He didn't do anything wrong, he just disappeared.

He and that girl he was dating, uh... You know, Angie Maloney?

Virl's girl?

No, Mr. Maloney's girl.

You know, he runs the filling station down on Graymere.

Didn't know and don't care.

Hell, I don't drive no more.

Anyway, that's the girl.

They can't find her either.

And you do too care.

And you can just bet you know what they're doing.

Why, in my day, nice boys and girls just didn't...

Oh, yes, they did! They just never talked about it.

Anyway, I just hope he hurries up and gets back.

Anything to keep Mr. Johnson in a better mood.

I just couldn't do anything right today.

What's wrong?

Ah, it's just me. I just need to get out or something.

Says who?

Says me, that's who.

Do you realize I haven't been out to a movie or anything since

since Matt went back to medical school?

Good riddance to bad rubbish!

Oh, he wasn't so bad.

- You're just too hard on him. - "Hard on him"?

I pity his poor patients.

He has about as much chance of becoming a doctor as I do the Queen of England.

Oh, Grandmother!

The Queen of England, you hear me?

If his brains were TNT, he couldn't muster a good fart.

- You're terrible! - Meaner than hell, and don't you forget it!

Oh, honey.

I know it ain't easy,

but you're worth big things.

I just don't want you to settle for nothing second-rate,

even if you are bored.

- I promise. - Oh, that's my girl.

Hold on, I'll check.

Jackson, telephone.

Jackson?

Jackson?

Jackson?

Damn cat! Get back in here before you get your buns dirty.

Get in here before you get your buns dirty.

Oh, kitty! Come on, kitty cat!

(Cat meowing)

Stupid cat!

(Customer) Ramona, you still on this phone?

No, I'm not. It's for Jackson. Tell him he's out.

(I Fairground music)

(Indistinct chattering)

Ooh!

One more! One more! OK.

- Here goes. - Do it, do it, do it...!

Ooh!

Don't worry, baby - some things you're still real good at.

(Laughs) Yeah!

Let's go home.

Whoa, there, Case!

Casey?

- Is that enough? - That's fine.

Thank you.

(Indistinct chattering)

Oh, hey, Lily.

- Mrs. Sharpe? - Kathy.

What do you think of the crowd?

It's getting bigger every year.

I don't think I've seen half of these people.

(Mrs. Sharpe) Good sellin' weather! I can feel it in my bones.

You have a quilt for sale again this year, Mrs. Sharpe?

Does a cow give milk?

Come on, girl, let's get going.

See you later. Your booth looks good.

Thanks!

Not bad if I do say so myself.

- Hi, Bob. What are you doing here? - Slave labor.

It's my job to hold up the counter until she passes me the nails.

- Sorry. - Thanks.

Looking good, Lil. Wanna come back and help me nail?

Come on, Bob!

I never kid around when it comes to nailing.

You'll have to forgive him. He isn't housebroken yet.

- You two? - Not yet, but I'm working on it.

See you later.

Bob, will you cut that out?

Let go of my leg.

Morning, Kathy.

Morning, Avery. Foot's asleep.

Stop that, I'm ticklish! Bobby, behave!

Bobby, what's gotten into you?

I think I'm in love.

It's about time.

Come on, ring the bell!

- By golly win a dolly for your dolly! - Come on, Walker, win me a dolly.

- Come on! - Come on, nail it, big boy!

Show 'em what you can do!

Fifty cents!

- Come on, chief! - Come on now.

Give the guy some room. Let him swing.

(Roars)

- Come on, boy! - Did you see what he did with his hands?

- Oh, come on! - It's as disgusting as French kissing.

- (Groans) - Aw...

Jinxed! Come on.

Uh-uh, my mother told me, "Never touch nasty things."

Get over it!

- What? - Come on!

I'll be damned if I want to put my hands where you've been salivating.

Pay the man, someone. I'm busy.

Well, my hands are occupied.

Just reach inside my pocket.

- Oh, don't stop! - You're disgusting!

Oh, God, I know it!

I feel good!

I will now heal this sinner with the big hammer of the Lord.

Oh! Oh, God, I got a hernia.

Put your hand back in quick, Sandy.

What about you, Ramona? I'll even cough.

Ah, you don't know what you're missing.

(Laughing)

Well...

OK, you don't want the others to show you up, do you?

No, I don't think so.

Come on, show 'em your stuff.

Come on, Tom, show me your stuff.

What's the matter? Afraid of what the little lady'll think?

Hey, buster! I bet this little lady can, uh... ring your bell.

- OK, sweetheart, you're on. - Come on, baby.

If I do it- a doll for all the girls?

Sure, anything you say. A doll for all three.

Move back, everyone.

(All talking at the same time)

Come on.

(Whooping)

Alright!

Wait a minute. You got a problem, bud?

- No. Take 'em all. - OK.

(Laughing)

- Way to go there. - Works every time.

- They're not as pretty as last year's. - Ah, hell, who cares?

The fun's in the screwing. Did you see the look on that guy's face?

Yo, boy!

Let's get this thing going. You grab the straps...

- Let's race this boy! Come on, boy! - Whoa!

Hey, who's winning this race?

- I think I'm ahead by a nose. - (Laughs)

(Whooping)

Edna! Lily!

On, Edna!

And how are you today?

Agnes, old friend.

Why do you keep on doing this to me?

I have arthritis.

But that doesn't make me senile.

Oh, no, of course not.

I mean... I... I mean, I

I mean, I didn'tint... Oh, Edna, you know I would never...

And I'm not deaf either.

- She's just cranky as hell. - Thank you.

And Lily, don't swear!

Oh, Agnes, I'm not mad at you.

But before this day is over with,

you and me have got to have an understanding.

- Oh, here, let me help. - Lesson number one:

I don't need any help.

But it's nice to know there's someone there to offer.

(Chuckling)

It gets better every year.

Oh, something for everybody.

That's what they say.

Oh, you should see my boy, Casey.

- He just eats this sort of thing up. - I'll bet he does.

Oh, your quilt sold.

- What? - It sold.

You mean that...? Well, what in hell are we dawdlin' for?

Get a move on it, Agnes. Roll me to the money.

Here we go.

- (Laughing) - (Imitates trumpet fanfare) We is here!

- Jesus, cool it. - (Laughs)

- Gang-bang! Gang-bang! - Shh! Shh!

(Sheriff) Y'all having a nice day?

Hi, Sheriff.

That you back there, Walker?

You alright, boy?

He just had to take a leak, and I...

Just shut your mouth, Diddle, before your brains fall out.

Everybody's having a good time?

- Oh, yeah. Yes, sir. - Yes, sir.

Oh, I love to see young folks having a good time.

Say, did anybody notice a strange smell around this particular area?

Nah!

Well, now, you know... I do.

I smell that.

You know, it has a queer effect on me,

makes me kind of wanna find out where it's coming from.

Then maybe it'll go away, what do you think?

I can't smell a thing, Sheriff, I guess it's gone.

I appreciate that.

Oh, by the way, any of you folks seen Ted or Angie?

Uh-uh.

Well, now, you would tell me if you saw 'em, wouldn't you?

I mean, it's not exactly like they're in any trouble or anything,

it's just their folks are a little worried about 'em.

Hell, they'll get tired of it. They'll be back.

Not like you, huh, Ramona? You never seem to get tired of it.

Of course, if you hear anything, you'll let me know now, huh?

Y'all have a nice day.

You too, Sheriff.

Christ! He's sure on your case, Ramona.

Old fart! Bet he can't even get it up.

You mean you haven't tried him yet?

Now... Ramona!

(Coughs) Who the hell cares about Avery?

I could be dying right now.

It tasted awful.

You mean you ate it? You stupid jerk, it wasn't half gone.

What'd you want me to do? Shove it up my ass?

- Could you find it? - I'll find your ass.

Promises, promises...

(Ramona) Ooh, I'd walk a mile for that camel.

I thought you already did and he wasn't interested.

- Probably queer. - Hi, guys, you called?

See anything you like?

Oh, it all looks good, but I'm on a limited budget.

Oh, I baked these myself. They're free.

- Oh, thanks, but I really couldn't. - Oh!

Well, how about a piece of pie? Or a cookie?

No, thanks, Sara.

At least have a brownie.

OK.

Looks delicious.

- Sex maniacs! Sex maniacs! - Oh!

Keep it down, will you? You want to get her old man on my back?

- Move it over. Let me in. - Have we got plans tonight!

- What? - Yeah, we're having a party.

Woo-hoo!

- OK, who gets what? - Can I have a cheeseburger?

Did we actually pay for this mystery meat?

Need some help?

Oh! No, thank you, I'm just going over to that booth.

Don't I know you?

No, but I know you.

I've heard enough about you from my friend Kathy.

Oh, my trusty co-worker.

That's her.

All this big city excitement getting to you?

Not until now.

Surprising what a small town has to offer.

Sure you don't need some help with the box?

Sure.

Lead on, Macduff.

Didn't Kathy say you used to live here as a kid?

No, my mother.

I was born in Chicago.

Oh, Chicago!

That is a mighty little piece of pie.

You want more?

Is that enough for you, or you wanna go for seconds?

- Sara! - Men!

I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into her.

Ah, that's alright. I'm a little bit partial to this meringue anyway.

- I don't know. - Oh, come on! It'll be a blast.

Yeah, we're all going down to the river after dark.

Big bonfire...

Plenty of good booze, some pot...

My tape deck. Come on...

- Whoo! - (Bob) I don't know...

Come on, Bob, it's our last chance. Next week, we all spread out...

- Spread out? - Yeah, except for Ramona.

She spreads all the time.

Sit on a Jolly Green Giant and jerk off!

Oh, I love it when you talk dirty to me.

Hey, come on, you guys. It'll be a night that'll go down in history.

Yeah, that's what they said about the Titanic.

Yeah, I got an idea.

After the bonfire, why don't we all go to the cemetery and tell ghost stories?

A seance. My sister went to one once. Maybe we can do that.

That'd be fun.

I don't know. My folks really wouldn't approve.

Oh, so don't tell 'em.

Yeah, you can split anytime you want. We all can.

If the action gets better somewhere else or you want to be alone,

nobody's gonna go looking for you.

- That give you any ideas? - Yeah.

Tall white princess speak with wild tongue.

(Laughing)

You go to college?

No, I work at Mr. Johnson's grocery store.

- Oh, Mr. Johnson? - Mm-hmm.

You like your job?

Yeah, it's OK.

Are you married?

Are you kidding? Around here?

I don't even date anyone.

I think the boys around here'd better open their eyes.

- (Agnes) Lily! - Oh!

Coach Marshall!

Miss Bottomley.

Hi, Mrs. Sharpe.

Well, I'll be seeing you, Lily.

Alright, goodbye.

Ooh! Got yourself a new sweetheart, huh?

My boy just worships the ground that man walks on.

Why, he thinks he hung the moon and every star.

Now, if I were just a little bit younger... (Laughs)

- Don't think I wouldn't... - Agnes!

You're making an ass of yourself.

Well

I've got enough to spare!

(Both laughing)

(Shrieking)

(Shrieking)

I love it! Whoa!

(I Rock music playing)

(I Fairground music playing)

Damn, Mama, I've got you covered, me and you!

Yeah!

Damn! I know what she can eat.

Oh, come on, it'll be fun.

I don't know. It sounds good, but

I just don't think I'd fit in with that crowd.

How do you know?

Anyway, we think you would, and we're the ones doing the inviting.

Yeah, we want you.

I appreciate it, but aside from the fact I don't have anybody to take with me,

I'm a teacher, and whooping it up IS considered a big no-no.

So what?

I promise you, you can whoop quietly.

We're starting out by the river, you know, just past the falls.

And then who knows where we'll move. Just say yes.

Let me think about it, OK?

Thanks again for the invite.

It's tempting.

Wanna go on the merry-go-around?

I think I'd prefer a Coke.

and here's your change.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- (Gasps) Ont. - Oh, I didn't mean to scare you.

That's OK. I just had other things on my mind.

- Need any help? - No, I'm fine.

Listen, some of the kids are having a little bonfire party tonight down by the falls.

Would you like to go?

I don't think I'd better. Thank you anyway.

How about a movie next week?

Sure, that sounds like fun.

- Great. See you later. - Bye.

(Mouthing)

Whoa there, young lady, what's the hurry?

Ah...

(Growling)

(♪ Distorted fairground music)

(Gasping)

(Screaming)

(I Fairground music slows down and stops)

(Imitates train horn)

(Imitates train horn)

Oh, Casey!

We all need a good night's sleep after all the excitement today.

I sold both my quilts.

And the mince pies went just like that.

Now, I hope you didn't stuff yourself too much.

Give that tum-tum of yours a good rest, do you hear?

Come on over and sit by Mama.

You're awful quiet tonight.

I'd have thought you'd have been a barrel of monkeys after all the excitement.

- Mama. - Hmm?

She tried to hurt him.

Who tried to hurt who?

- She... She gooped his car. - Huh?

All over the window.

Ugh! Dirty!

Who?

Coach.

Bad to hurt him.

You are right.

It is bad.

You should never hurt anybody.

And Casey, dear,

there are lots of ways you can hurt somebody.

Remember how we talked about boys and girls and how they get together...

No, I never hurt girls.

I never hurt girls. Never like... like that.

I know you wouldn't, darling.

But...

But it is just as bad to take things that don't belong to you.

That's a hurt, too.

Take things?

Some of the kids said that Coach had lost a lot of equipment this summer.

Equipment?

Bat, balls, bases...

- Things he needs to play ball with. - Mama.

People who take things like that hurt Coach, too.

I... I don't... I don't want to hurt Coach.

I love Coach.

And he loves you.

Oh, my precious, we all do.

Just remember that taking thing is hurting, too.

Just as bad as those boy and girl things.

Ugh... bad!

Bad.

Bad!

What time should I pick you up?

- Uh, is eight OK? - Your wish is my command.

I can't believe you said no.

Do you know how many girls would just die to go out with Neil?

I didn't say no exactly, I just said no to the bonfire.

(Bob) What's the matter, Lily, can't you let your hair down?

My hair is down.

You know what I mean. Look, Coach is a great guy.

- I know. - It'd be a lot more fun with both of you there.

Besides, he may show up anyway. We didn't say he had to have a date.

Hey, that's an idea.

Why don't you change your mind and, you know, sort of arrive unexpectedly?

You can ride with us.

Sure, and find out he doesn't show

(Kathy) Lily, you're going. See you in about an hour.

I will tell my dad we're going to a movie.

- So, have one picked out, in case he asks. - OK.

Oh, God!

(Mother) Good gracious, I thought I heard someone out here.

So did.

Lily

I saw you with that Marshall boy today.

Grandma, please don't start on me again.

I'd rather you be with that doctor bum than that Marshall boy.

In the first place, Matt wasn't a bum, he was a very nice boy.

I just wasn't in love with him.

And as far as Neil Marshall's concerned,

the only thing he's done was ask me for a date to a movie.

Is there anything wrong with that?

His mother was practically a common whore.

But that's not Neil.

And then again, my mother wasn't exactly an angel.

She died giving birth to you.

- But she was never married. - That's not true!

There's your father's picture in there on the mantle.

Grandma, please!

I know! I've known since we've taken that trip to Savannah when I was eight.

You know what?

That picture! The picture of my father, the one with the frame?

I saw a store full of 'em in Savannah.

But...

But it doesn't matter. It never has.

Oh, Lily...

Your mama was so beautiful.

So full of life.

You couldn't hold her, like a moth.

And then she was gone.

And there you were.

Oh, Lily. I tried.

I tried so hard.

I know, and that's why I know what love is. From you.

You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

And the most important thing in my life.

But I have to grow. I just can't stop existing.

I know, I know.

I'm just a silly old woman

wanting time to stand still.

You're right.

I love you.

And I love you, child.

(Creaking)

- Jesus! - Well

we can't say it's because you lack the equipment, can we?

What are you doing here?

Why do you think I'm here?

Ramona...

You can't do this.

Yes, I can.

Besides, you don't mean that.

I've seen the way you've looked at me.

I'm not blind.

Oh, God, I knew this would be good.

Neil, what are you doing?

- What are you... (Shrieks) - (Neil laughing)

You bastard!

That's the first honest thing you've said all night.

Now dry off and go home.

You know, I don't get it.

What's the matter?

Not good enough for you?

Whatever you say. Maybe I'm just not into cheap thrills.

I had a lifetime of that with my mother.

You son of a bitch!

Good night, Ramona. (Laughs)

Faggot! Queer!

Whoa, Ramona!

What's the matter? You having trouble getting laid tonight?

Take your damn hands off me!

I've had it up to here with you and your sanctimonious bullshit!

This town don't need your shit!

You can take this hick town and shove it!

It's not this town that's bothering you. We're not talking about this town.

We're talking about your son.

- Don't you talk about my son! - Go ahead, hit me!

I wasn't the one that did it. I wasn't the one driving the car.

Casey was the one that was driving the car, not me.

You should've died four years ago, you little slut!

You call this living?

Casey?

(Phone ringing)

Sheriff's department.

Avery? Casey's gone.

W... What do you mean - he's not there?

'Yes, he's gone.'

- Now... - 'He's gone.'

Have you looked in the bedrooms? Now, he couldn't have gone far.

I've looked everywhere.

I looked in the bathroom, the garage, the basement...

He's not here, he's gone!

This is the first time he's done this in six months.

'Alright, honey, now just... Just stop crying and start looking for him.'

Alright, and I'll start from this end.

OK? Now, don't worry, sweetheart.

Alright. Bye-bye.

(Groans)

(Indistinct chattering)

Hey, boy!

Whoo!

(Indistinct chattering)

- You've done quite a job on this fire. - And it's been raining...

What in the hell are you so pissed about?

Nothing. Just leave me alone for a while.

- All I wanted to do... - I said, "Forget it!"

Shit, lady, suit yourself.

(Imitates Tarzan's jungle call)

Me Tarzan, you Jane.

(Belches)

I think your chest has dropped.

Well, how about a banana?

Beula... Where is Ramona?

Her nights are her nights. I don't keep tabs.

Jackson'd probably know.

Alright, where is Jackson?

Damned if I know. He split more than an hour ago.

Said he'd be back later on.

Should I have him call you?

Oh, yeah, you do that.

(Moans)

- Come on, dance with me. - Sure!

♪ Da-dum-dum-dum... ♪

Oh, baby, I love it when you talk dirty to me.

(Laughing)

Ah, I'm in hug heaven!

Kiss me, you fool.

Hey.

Look what I got.

I'm sorry.

I guess I just don't like myself very much today.

I need someone to hold me.

Uh...

It's a good thing school's starting back, honey.

We're all getting on each other's nerves.

I know, but

I'm the one that has to stay.

- Come on, let's go for a swim. - Well, I can't.

My soul's full of music.

(Belches)

That's not all you're full of.

(Coughing)

(Knocking)

(Coughing)

Neil?

- (Knocking) - Anybody in there?

(Screams)

Are we going for a swim or aren't we?

Not me. I'm all warm and cozy.

How about you, Mona?

Not now. First things first.

Jeez, Eddie. Watch it, will you?

Bunch of creeps!

If you think I'm gonna stick around with Mighty Mouse over there,

you've got another thing coming.

This was supposed to be a party.

- I'm partying. - Yeah, well, I'm not.

Oh, come on, baby, let me do something.

(Screaming)

(Screaming)

Sandy!

- Have any of you guys seen Sandy? - No.

No, I thought she was with you.

Sandy!

She probably split.

Well, maybe we'd better take a look.

She's alright.

She's just pissed enough to walk home, that's all.

I don't know, that's a pretty long walk.

Come on! We've got more important things to do.

Dammit, Ramonal Would you let me lead for a while?

Hell, maybe I oughta look.

Sandy!

Sandy?

- Hey, Sandy! - Sandy!

Think she's OK?

Yeah. She probably just got pissed off about something.

I hope she gets home alright.

(Diddle) Hey, I think I hear something. Sandy?

No, it's just us. We took a shortcut across the old road.

Only with pathfinder here it turned out not to be so short.

You didn't see Sandy by any chance, did you?

- No, we haven't. - Look at that!

- Lily? You look fantastic! - Thank you.

Ah! (Ululating)

(Barks)

(Laughing)

"She had only one taste and she's taking the money these days..."

Doesn't look like he's coming, does it?

Ah, give him a little more time.

Well? Are you gonna spend the rest of the night staring at her?

I just can't believe it's the same girl.

- Come on, let's go. - What do you have in mind?

Hey, how about heading out for the cemetery?

- Yeah, the cemetery. - Hey, you know...

(Foreign accent) "Make love on the tombstones.

"Feel the coolness of the rats against your bare skin. Bleurgh!"

Tom and I are gonna have to be heading back.

Not me, I'm not afraid.

I didn't say anything about being afraid, I just thought that you would rather...

Well, you thought wrong.

You game, Kathy?

(Foreign accent) You want to make love on a tombstone?

I'd prefer a ghost story.

- Come on, Lily, you have to go. - Sure Lily's going.

I don't know. What if he shows up and we're not here?

I'd just better go home.

- Well, I'll take you home... - Like hell you will!

Come on, Lily, keep us company.

We really will tell ghost stories.

We'll leave a note by the fire, just in case.

- Well... maybe just for a little while. - Great!

Hey, let's all pile in the pickup.

Mm! Let's go.

Come on! Let's do it.

- Is everybody ready? - Everybody, let's go, gang.

Hey, Walker! Walker!

Hey, come on, big boy, if you're up to it.

Where are we headed?

- To the cemetery. - Oh, great.

Come on.

Hey, we're here. We're here.

- Whoo! - Come on.

Let's go.

Oh, come on, Ramona.

Alright, let's go!

- To the front! Let's go! - To the front!

To the front, front, front! Whoo!

(Whooping)

You're crazy!

I'm not! I'm just having a good time.

Hey, come on.

We're moving, we're moving...

It's getting on my new shoes.

Come on, what did you expect?

Ooh, I'm freezing.

Keep walking, my dear

lest we be left behind to be eaten by the wolves.

(Laughing)

That's it.

- Whoa! - This is so great!

- Let's get these candles lit. - OK, everybody gets one.

- I've already got mine. - OK.

Just a second.

Uh, they're gonna go out in the wind.

No, not if we all crouch down in a circle.

Here, I got a match.

OK, light up.

OK.

Hey...

Where's Diddle?

I don't know, he was right behind me.

(Sinister laugh)

Satan's mass will now begin.

Ouah! Khanaa! Siam!

Children of darkness, repeat after me.

- Ouah. - Ouah.

- Khanaa. - Khanaa.

- Siam. - Siam.

Faster!

(All) Quah. Khanaa. Siam.

Ouah. Khanaa. Siam.

Ouah. Khanaa. Siam.

(Laughing)

Enough!

Let the rite continue.

I call upon Lily Carpenter

to enter into the center of the circle of fire.

A story, madame. A story of ghouls and goblins.

- Yeah, come on, Lily, try to scare us. - Oh, come on, please!

- Please! - Hey! Hey, you, remember me?

I remember, I remember.

- I only know one story. - So, go ahead.

Well, it's not a very nice story.

But...

Once upon a time there was this girl,

and she was all alone in her house at night.

Everybody else had gone off somewhere.

And there was this maniac at large.

And it was dark.

And there was a storm coming.

But she wasn't afraid,

because she had this large German shepherd dog that slept underneath her bed,

so she really didn't have to worry,

even if it was dark

and she was all alone.

That night, the storm began to rage.

The shutters on the house began to slap the side.

Clunk... clunk... clunk.

She lay on the bed listening to the night sounds and the storm rage,

and for some reason, her skin began to crawil.

The dog was sleeping under her bed, so she shouldn't have been afraid.

But still...

She reached under, just to pet the dog for reassurance,

and sure enough, it was there and it licked her hand.

- Oh, how cute! - Shh!

Go on, Lily, what happens?

OK. The girl couldn't understand it,

but something kept telling her that something was wrong.

It was almost like she knew a door was open somewhere

or something like that.

Anyway, she thought she ought to get up and go check,

but she was too afraid to get out of bed.

I mean, the dog was there for her protection,

so she shouldn't have been afraid.

But she was.

The storm eased up after that.

But she still couldn't relax.

She'd reach down every five minutes to check if the dog was still there.

And sure enough, the good old dog was there,

and it licked her hand, and she felt better.

But then she heard this dripping.

Drip...

Drip...

Drip...

She kept wondering what it could be.

The dog didn't seem upset, but she just couldn't stand that dripping.

It sounded like it was in the bathroom.

And you know how a sound can grow in the dark.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

She couldn't stand it any longer.

She jumped out of bed, and she ran into the bathroom to shut it off

and jump back into bed.

She threw open the shower door, and hanging from the nozzle was her dog.

Its throat had been silit,

and blood dripped in large red droplets onto the clean, white tiles.

But what was worse,

what was written in blood on the bathroom mirror...

It said,

"Maniacs lick hands, too."

(Screaming)

- Jesus! - (Laughing)

(Thunderclap)

Come on, the old rental house.

(Indistinct chattering)

Come on!

Come on. Hurry up.

- Watch it! - Watch it!

Shit!

At least it's dry.

- I'm soaked. - So am I.

Hey, looks empty.

No shit! The Kennedys always rent weekends here.

Hey! I think the door's open.

- Let's go in, come on. - If it's not, it will be.

Be careful, guys, the floor could be rotten.

How can anyone live here?

Only spooks and maniacs would live here.

Hey, there's a fireplace. Get some wood.

It's down here.

I'll give you a hand.

There! I got it. I got it.

OK.

(Heavy rain)

I wish Neil was here.

I think it's kind of romantic.

(Kathy) Now that you mention it...

All this rain makes me have to take a leak.

(Walker) All that booze, more likely.

- (Ramona) Well, not in here, if you don't mind. - Well, where's the pissoir?

There isn't one. This place was built before there was plumbing.

Just hang it out the window, dude.

I also have to make heh-heh, for your information.

Then for God's sake, Diddle, do it outside.

- I'll get wet. - There's an old two-seater out back.

The people of the cemetery use it all the time.

You mean dead people?

No, the people who work at the cemetery.

For crying out loud! What, do you want me to go with you?

No, I can make it on my own. Anybody got a candle?

Yeah. Here.

Big, brave boy.

Well, thanks, pilgrim.

I'll let you know if everything comes out OK. (Laughs)

Hey! I got a great idea.

Let's give Diddle a minute or two to do his business,

and then we'll set it up to scare the hell out of him. What do you say?

Shit!

This place will never make "Better Homes and Gardens".

Ugh!

Jeez, there's no paper!

I'll just tell Mom I lost it.

(& Whistling)

(Creaking)

I may be constipated for the rest of my life.

OK, he's had enough time.

Hey, it stopped raining. Let's go, come on.

- Maybe we can push it over. - That's kind of rough.

Besides, he'd come out before we could do it.

You guys just open the door, and all us girls will line up and say,

"Smile! You're on Candid Camera."

OK.

OK?

(Tom) Now!

(Screaming)

Help me get him down.

Do you think he's dead?

Let's get him in the house.

Do it!

Let's get out of here.

Inside! Inside!

Somebody quieten her down! Come on!

- Come on! - I don't wanna go in there!

Well, we can't stay out here! Get in here!

Why not?

(Bob) Kathy, get the door.

Oh, my God! Somebody slit him from ear to ear.

- I'll get the truck. - I'm going with you.

Hey, bring the truck back here.

Come on, get in here.

(Sobbing)

(Engine turning over)

Wait! Don't leave me!

Dammit! Where the hell are they?

- I'd better go check. - No, please stay with us.

We can't just stay here.

But somebody's out there.

I don't care about that.

- If some son of a bitch messes with me... - No, don't!

Wait!

Walker, please, for God's sake!

God, I thought you were... Don't leave me.

Walker?

(Screams)

Walker! Sheila!

(Grunts)

Oh, my God!

(Grunts)

(Panting)

Hey, Bob!

(Screams)

(Screaming continues)

I think somebody's coming.

(Screaming)

He's gone.

(Screaming)

- Get away from me! - Ramona, please!

Get away from me!

(Screaming)

Kathy!

- Hang on, I'll get you. - Be careful.

Ramona? You gotta help me.

- Can you reach out and grab my arm? - I can't. It hurts.

OK. I'll help you.

Oh, God! (Screams)

(Screams)

Oh, my God!

(Screaming)

Quick!

Get some weight!

Ow!

(Screams) Neil!

You're just like all the others!

- Another slut! - No! No!

Just like Mama! Bad!

- Bad! - (Screaming)

Lily?

Lily!

It upsets people.

Lily!

Who's that up there?

(Screaming)

(Gunshots continue)

(Police radio, indistinct)

Oh, my God! Why?

I don't know.

Let's just get you home.

(Police radio continues)