Original subtitles

[Frank] Now, nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate

is the Garden of Eden,

but it's been a good home to us.

To me, Frank Gallagher, and me kids, who I'm proud of,

cos every single one of 'em reminds me a little of me.

They can all think for themselves, which they've me to thank for.

Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite,

which is why nobody calls him Phillip anymore.

Ian, lot like his mam,

which was handy for the others when she disappeared into thin air.

And Carl. We daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons.

One, it makes it stand on end and makes him look like Toyah.

Two, nits love him.

Debbie, sent by God, total angel.

You've to check your change,

but she'll go miles out of her way to do you a favour.

Plus, lickle Liam, who's gonna be a star someday.

Monica, the wife.

She's back with her bird in tow.

And we can't get shot of her.

And the neighbours, eh... The neighbours.

Well, what can you say?

Well, nothing, if you don't want your arms breaking.

Still, nobody's perfect.

But, all of 'em, to a man, know first and foremost

one of the most vital necessities in life is:

they know how to throw a party. [chuckles]

Scatter!

[indistinct chatter]

[Ian] Cock. Cock, cock, cock, cock, cock.

When I'm not looking for it or looking at it,

I'm thinking about it.

Women reckon we're in control of it.

Blame blokes when they land stray hard-ons.

Like we know what it's gonna do.

Liam!

Mate's cat was settling for a sleep on me the other day.

I was like the Hilton fucking tower.

And I don't want sex with a cat.

I don't.

-[Lip groaning] Mandy... Baby... -[Mandy groaning]

-[Lip cries out] -I've just been sacked!

[Mandy] Ian!

Says they can't afford to pay me anymore!

-I heard the chip shop were looking. -Is now the best time to discuss this?

Mate, it's a shit job.

They can't just sack me like it means nothing!

-All right, this is about Kash. -No!

-You aren't still shagging him, are ya? -Speaking of which...

And they did it by fucking letter!

[sighs] Your family! Like a zoo in here!

You can't do this to me!

-Look, Ian, if there was any other way... -This is me you're talking to.

You said whatever happened between us, you'd still always want me working here!

This isn't about us. And I, I know what I said... previously,

but this is about now... business.

Kash. You're talking to me.

It's just business, okay?

Business.

My arse it is!

-[pedestrian cries out] -[tyres squealing]

[pedestrian cries out]

[grunts]

[distant sirens]

[Ian] Oi!

What the fuck you doing? You trashed my bike!

They're gonna kill me!

If they catch me.

What you done?

[girl] Not really into trust games, but...

-help us! -Why?

Cos you're 'ere and you've got a kind face.

If you don't, I'm gonna get shot with shite.

Look, I dunno.

Fuck the kind face, then!

Save us for a wage.

[metallic clanging]

Kash is at mosque or Council

while his beautiful wife sits at home doing her nails?

When do I have time for fucking nails?

Firstly, I'm not a fan of beauty treatments...

I like natural.

Murad, stop looking at me arse!

When were last time he did a full day in this shop?

Never, cos he has too much fun at his Council playing--

All right Kash, how's it going?

If you're trying to shag my wife again, Murad, you can fuck off!

Ian's not turned up, so I'm left to do everything,

unless you're gonna stay and help me, that is.

Sorry. Busy. Big day with the council!

[sighs] Another thing.

Red reminder. You've not even paid the phone bill.

-I'll sort it. I said I'll sort it. -Kash!

When you get angry, your lip curls. It's kind of sexy.

Do as the man says and fuck off!

[Mimi screaming]

-[man on phone] Mimi? Hello? -[Mimi whimpering]

[Paddy] Mimi?

[cries out]

Mimi? [Paddy grunts] Mimi, love?

Jesus Christ!

Gave me the fright of my life.

Kenny... Dead.

What? Your brother Kenny?

[Mimi] Thirty thousand volts at his birthday barbecue.

[Paddy] You hated Kenny.

You threatened to have him shot if he didn't go to Australia.

Bad things happen in threes, Patrick.

Who's next? What's next?

Nobody's next.

I'm cursed.

Now, come on, don't give me all that shit from your grandmother.

[Mimi] Told Fergal, me son, not to come home and he's murdered.

And then...

I told Kenny, me brother, to stop sending me begging letters.

He dies.

What if I tell our baby Katie to stop crying?

She might...

[whispers] Oh, my God!

Now, come on.

You didn't mean that... Now, come on, Kitty-cat.

Now, you've gotta speak to me. You've gotta speak to me!

-[Mimi crying] -[Paddy] Shh! Shh!

Come on, say something.

-You seen my bike? -Yeah, it's on The Causeway. It's wrecked.

Fuck!

[knocks]

You had to pick the bin stinking of fishes, didn't ya?

Right, who's following ya?

People from work.

[Ian] What's in the bag?

Stuff. Now will you fuck off, Columbo?

Oi!

[Anna] Are these your clothes?

-Put 'em back. -How much?

-What? -T-shirt.

Uh... twenty?

Thirty?

-[chuckles] -Look, right.

Just get sorted and get out of here.

Shit!

[Paddy] Why, why, why, Shane? Why?

How many times do I have to tell ya? Huh?

Next time, I should shove 'em up your arse, they'd be safer.

-What you done now, Einstein? -Einstein! Einstein!

Am I green? Have I got a bolt sticking out of me head?

No, Shane, you have nothing sticking out of your head.

Tell me you're not being chased by the fucking Maguires.

-You know 'em? -They live next door. You can't stay here.

They'll kill us both.

Why? The last place anyone looks is under their nose.

No way!

I've paid for a room. I'm staying.

Fine. Keep your money!

Take far more than a few quid to keep Paddy off my back.

Fine. How much d'you want?

There's ten grands worth of scratch cards in here.

-[Anna sighs] -Fucking hell!

Come on, just a word.

Well, if not a word, then a smile, huh?

Come on. You know how beautiful you look when you smile.

[breathless] Bad things happen in threes, she said.

Fergal...

Kenny...

Chuckles.

[Paddy tuts] What happened to it?

Uh, well, I think it must have swallowed summat.

Come on, Chuckles.

Din-din time.

Tragedy.

She told me to clean out the cage otherwise she'd flush it down the toilet.

Now, it's dead.

Third thing.

Oh, at least I'm trying summat.

I've been skimming off Shane for months.

Well, what would you do if you were left in a lock-up

-with ten grand of scratchies inside. -Leave 'em where they are.

Cos Paddy Maguire will break both your legs, you know that?

Well, once I've cashed 'em he ain't gonna see me for dust, anyways.

It'll take you weeks to get through those.

Nah. Two days is all I've got.

These were on the way to Glasgow when Shane nicked 'em.

When they don't turn up Monday morning, they'll be made void, barcodes won't scan.

So, you've only got two days to scratch 'em and cash 'em?

Seventy-thirty split.

Yeah. You see, I know what Paddy's really like, so...

Sixty-forty.

Sixty-forty and a blow job?

Fifty-fifty.

Fine.

You missed out, you.

Anna Sampson's blow jobs are the best in Manchester.

And it's not just me saying that.

If you're staying, get up in the attic and you don't fucking come down.

We should get to work.

The Chatsworth Estate is in trouble.

But the trouble is not crime. It's health.

A recent government survey

showed Chatsworth to be a UK heart attack hotspot.

My Brendan was fat. He had heart attack written all over 'im.

Was crime did him... Shot.

Mind you, he were carrying a bag of chips at the time.

This 250,000 pounds,

which I have personally secured from the Council,

marks a major investment for us.

On Monday, work will begin on the first Chatsworth Cooperative Health Centre.

And to kick it all off, this weekend...

the Chatsworth Fun Run.

Let go of it. It's not a real cheque.

Whoa! You're late.

The bike wouldn't start. Sorry.

It's not looking good for the first week, is it?

Fast, hot and extra cheese. You'd do well to remember that.

[sighs] Right.

You know, I love biking nights like this. Wind in your hair and that.

Under your helmet, obviously. [smirks]

Not like I've got any hair,

-but, you know... -Bullshit!

[Frank] A fun run?

A fun run?

[mockingly] A fun run?

Yes, Frank, a fun run.

Running isn't fun.

It's just an excuse for wankers in vests

to show us how expensive their trainers are.

-It's 500 quid if you win. -500 quid, is it?

I should enter.

Save you having to wear out the tread on those new trainers.

Fuck off! I always wear trainers.

Digging. Now, there's a fucking challenge.

A fun dig. That'd be the correct sort of competition.

Might get a few useful things done round 'ere.

You know, public works. Dig for victory,

Victorians and the sewers, you know, all that.

But will they sort that out? Will they, bollocks!

Because working man would win at digging, wouldn't they?

Running makes you healthy!

I have never heard so much bollocks in all my life.

Look. Running man... Fucking big legs.

No fucking arms.

[scratching]

[scratching continues]

[thud]

[Paddy whispers] Fucking Gallagher's!

Fuck's sake. Can we slow down a bit?

Another tenner. [giggles]

-I ain't had this much fun in ages. -Yeah, cos you're a freak.

[laughs]

[door creaks]

[whispers] Need a word.

[whispers] What time is it?

Never you mind.

My wife has a beautiful voice, but she won't speak. Why?

Cos she lost a son and it's sending her mad.

So, it's time to get her a new one.

-Do you want fertility tips? -Don't be fucking cocky.

[Mandy stirs]

[Paddy] You're gonna marry our daughter.

Join our family.

-What? -Welcome to the Maguires, son.

Right?

I'll leave you be.

[sighs]

[sighs heavily]

Is there no room in this house you keep fucking clean?

You know, the Maguires'd happily tax us up then beat the living shit out of us.

Oh, live a little.

People pay a fortune for the kick of extreme sports.

And we've invented a new one.

Pure adrenaline rush.

Nicking off the local psycho asleep only a few metres away.

[chuckles] Yeah, you've definitely lost it.

[chuckles]

[upbeat music]

[knocking at door]

[woman] 'Bout bloody time.

I'm not paying for these, they're cold. Sod off!

I've gotta pay for them if you don't!

[scratching]

[Ian sighs]

-Wanker's cramp? -Fuck off!

[both chuckle]

Oh, fuck!

Oh, shit! Look at this. Five grand!

Five fucking grand! I've just won five fucking grand!

-[Anna squeals, giggles] -Shit, that's mint.

Nah! What you doing? That was a winner!

"For prizes above 75 pounds,

you must provide proof of identity and fill in a claim form."

You fill your name in on the back of this and you're going to fucking jail.

"Do not pass Go, do not collect five grand."

Seventy-five is the maximum for us.

Don't look so upset. I'll let you rip the next one.

You notice we kissed?

Yeah.

Uh...

You got someone else?

-No. -Don't you fancy me, then?

No, it... [sighs]

[Anna] Only this says different.

[both breathing heavily]

[Anna] What's the matter?

[sighs] My life's shit.

Change it then. It's your responsibility.

What? Says girl on run from mob?

Least I know I'm alive.

[chuckles] Yeah, for now.

-I've gotta get away. -That's sort of obvious.

-I'm going to Birmingham. -Good choice!

I've got mates.

Mates...

-[Ian scoffs] -[Anna] Chance of a job.

Come with us. New start and all that crap.

And that'd be a good thing?

Dunno yet... It's gotta be better than this though.

-What d'you know about my life? -Fuck all.

And I was talking about this shitty estate.

Come on. Let's get scratching.

I always say that after sex! [laughing]

[Paddy] Welcome to the Maguires, son.

["Wedding March" by Mendelssohn]

[sinister music]

[Paddy] ...the Maguires, son.

["Wedding March"]

[sinister music]

[Paddy] ...Maguires, son.

["Wedding March"]

-[Lip grunts] -Fuck!

What's with you?

Nothing.

You got toothpaste round your gob.

No, don't rub it off. Looks kinda sweet.

[distant sirens]

-Fuck. We fell asleep. -Yeah.

How many have we done?

Enough so we'll still be scratching 'round Wednesday.

Shit.

Don't worry. I've got an idea.

[hatch opening]

[Ian quietly] Debbie.

Debbie.

[Ian louder] Debbie.

We need your help.

Right, we want 50s and highers here. Ten and unders here.

Anything in between, there, and all the duds in the bin bag.

We need to make a list of all newsagents

within a five mile radius.

I'll do a dry-run, check these cash at all...

-I'll do it. Give me one for 50 quid. -All the 50s are here.

You're supposed to be out the front shouting "fresh fruit".

Not sat in here.

I told you I couldn't shout. All this healthy eating's well and good,

but it won't sort out my strep throat.

Ooh!

Do you want some bananas, mate? They're Egyptian.

-[Man] No, ta. -[Yvonne] Extra iron content.

Healthy Chatsworth.

Thank you.

And no-one told me about this tomato being a fruit, neither.

I'd have asked for extra, if I'd have known.

Well, if it in't the invisible man.

I don't want to talk about it. I just want this cashed.

[Yvonne] Like fuck you don't wanna talk about it.

Two hours late!

Didn't even bother coming in yesterday.

-You sacked me! -Since when?

"Financial pressures have forced us into a situation

where we cannot maintain our current staffing level."

-I didn't write this. -Well, it sounds like you.

I don't know anything about it.

-Well Kash knows. -Well, clearly there's been a mistake.

It's simple... He can't bear to have me around anymore.

-Ian, I think you must've misunderstood. -No, I haven't. He's a bastard!

Tell him to fuck his job!

Ian! You work for me.

This is my shop.

-What you working on, Liam? -A castle.

Where'd you get these cards from?

[Debbie shouting] Let go of her!

Fuck!

-[Anna] Get off me! -[Ian] Hey! What's going on?

-You've got to stop her! -[Mandy] Did you know, Lip?

[Lip] Know what?

Thousands of scratch cards stolen off my dad by your family.

Fucking Anne Frank here living in your loft.

-You knew, didn't ya? -No.

-You bastard! -I knew nothing.

Good. Then the rest of you better watch out.

-[Anna] Stop her, she's hurting me. -Lip, you don't understand.

Is this you?

They were wankers to her. She's not gonna rip 'em off for fun.

Mandy, stop!

What's your dad do if he finds out about this?

[Mandy] This is my family you're ripping off!

Yeah. Me and Katie not your family too?

If your dad gets hold of Ian, he'll rip his bollocks off.

Who d'you think will be next in line?

You go round there and create trouble

and that's gonna cause one heap of shit for us.

Lip gets a cut. Same as any of ya.

Sure.

Thanks.

[Carl] I'm on time. I know I am.

[Karen breathing deeply]

-Back from a run? -Just resting me muscles.

Stiff joints?

You'll have to let me give you a massage sometime.

Hey, keep your cock in your pants, Calum Best!

Your filthy hands all over me.

-Now don't overdo it, will ya? -I'm fine.

-Was going out again, actually. -[Jamie] Well, great.

Maybe you and I should run together.

[winces]

-[Yvonne] Thirty-six p. -What?

Thirty-six p!

Ian's still not shown his face.

Could be anywhere, considering you've sacked him!

See, he's thinking that you've done it cos you're bored of him.

What I'm wondering is, when every bill's coming in red,

why you're not paying 'em.

I had to cut some overheads, that's all.

You know, we need to talk to the bank. Take out a temporary loan on the shop.

On my shop?

[Kash laughs nervously] It's only temporary.

Look, three months. Tops.

Hey, soon as the Health Centre gets started, there'll be kickbacks.

You know, plenty enough to pay it off.

We're talking, what... 15 grand, max.

Fifteen grand?

What the fuck have you spent all that money on?

Look, you know what I do.

It's important I project a good image of meself.

[camera clicks]

You know I've gotta travel for council business.

[camera clicks]

Meeting and getting to know my constituents.

[camera clicks]

You know, it's not cheap.

Made an appointment to see the bank manager. Tomorrow.

No. Not the shop.

If we're gonna borrow, we'll borrow on the house.

I've already done that.

This is to save the house.

Hey. Look, please, Von. Hey? Really need you to do this for me.

Last time.

You can fuck right off!

I changed my religion for you.

I looked after your kids I looked after your mam.

I even looked other way when you fucked me fucking staff!

And now you want my shop!

The only thing I've ever had that were mine? [crying]

You're not having anything ever again.

It's over, Kash.

You leaving me?

No... I'm not.

You're leaving me.

[tools clattering]

-[Lip] You fixed it yet? -[thud]

[groaning] Very funny.

You're gonna have to hurry up. I need it this afternoon.

Fuck off!

Supposed to be using it for work, in case you hadn't noticed.

[Paddy] Hello there, Phillip.

Hiya...

The name's Patrick, don't wear it out

but you can't call me dad, just yet either. [laughs]

Allow me.

In there?

Come here.

Just wanted to give you this.

Bit of a family heirloom.

[Lip] That's very kind, Paddy.

-[Shane] Dad... -I kept that diamond up my [clears throat]

the only place where the screws wouldn't look

for three months inside Strangeways.

[high pitched] Ooh! [chuckles] [normal] It's very treasured.

But as I've only one daughter, I want her to have it.

-Thanks. -Dad...

-Will you shut up, Shane! -That's the bike.

Where are they?

[Paddy shouting indistinctly]

Answer me! C'mon!

Where are they?

-Fuck! -What?

Get your head down and stay down. Now!

Where are what?

Now, both you and I know you were on that bike.

So, you can do this the easy way, or you can do it the hard way!

If you've done something bad, Carl, you've got to own up to it.

Mum! I don't know what he's talking about!

[Ian] Look, it were me.

-[Lip] Ian! -I crashed it.

[Paddy] Right.

[Carl] You fucked my bike up!

[Lip] No, Carl!

-Where is she? -I dunno.

She were too quick for me, I couldn't keep up with her.

-Wrong answer! -[Ian] I'm not lying.

-Actually, she fucked my bike... -[Carl] It's not your bike!

-It's not even mine! It's the pizza bike. -[Paddy] Shut it!

-Carl, shut up! -Answer me.

[Ian] Seriously, Paddy, she damaged my stuff.

So when you find her, I wouldn't mind a word.

[Shane] Search the house, Dad.

No way! This is our property!

-[Paddy] Yeah, well, it was our property-- -He's telling you the truth, Dad.

-You stay out of this. -I live here.

Don't you think I'd notice if they were nicking off ya?

He's telling the truth.

You'd better be.

[Paddy] Come on, Shane. We're outta here.

-[spits] -[Paddy] Shane!

Thanks, babe.

Don't you ever make me do anything like that again.

Okay?

[Lip] Get in.

[Ian sighs]

Thanks.

For what?

For standing up to Paddy.

I thought that you'd give me up.

In your place, I might've.

Took some guts.

I didn't really think about it.

[Anna] Coulda got your head kicked in.

I'm sorry.

Oh, I didn't think of that.

Shit. You reckon it's too late to put in a phone call?

Tell Paddy you're here.

[laughing]

This is a lot of money.

And I wouldn't ask. It's just...

[sighs] My dad spends all the social on scratchies and...

Maybe it was stupid of me, but...

when I found out he'd finally won,

I promised my brother I'd buy him sausages.

It's not often we can afford meat at our house.

[Debbie sniffles]

[cash register opens]

Where to next?

Try Rusholme, there's loads you can hit around there.

-[Lip] How's it going? -[Debbie] It's fine.

-Is Mandy... -Yes, she's fine.

[breathes heavily] Right.

What you looking at me like that for?

There's some lucky buggers round here.

Twenty, 40...

[Kash] ...and...

I've...

let... everyone... down.

I... can... no... longer...

A few things got blown in the canal but we think we got everything.

It could be a while before the body shows up

and, you know, sometimes it never does.

-Even then, you might not recognise... -[Yvonne crying]

What's going on?

[Stan] It's Kash. He's taken his own life.

[Tom] There was a note.

[sniffles] Fucking coward! He's left me loads of debt, Ian.

Well, we'll, uh, leave you to it, Yvonne. Okay?

Come down the station later and we'll have the forms to sign.

[Yvonne] Thank you.

I don't believe this.

Tragic, innit?

I... can... no... longer... face...

...the... embarrassment.

[Yvonne] Shame.

The family are never gonna believe this. You know that, Von.

The shit you've left behind, Kash, they're gonna wanna believe it.

Take me right into the Muslim bosom.

Because I'm keeping 'em.

Family... Kids...

And the faith... and the shop.

Better hurry if you're gonna make that 3:15 to Sheffield.

He has fucked with us... once too often.

[Anna] We've got the money. Are you still up for Birmingham?

Look... I'm not a bastard.

I was sort of assuming that.

No, not like...

Well, I'm not...

I'm gay... I'm sorry... I should have told ya.

Brew?

I'm gay.

Is that it?

[chuckles] Do you want me to go into a fit or summat?

I fuck blokes.

You're the only woman I've ever slept with.

-[stammers] I'm... -[Anna] Gay!

So, what? I've had it off with girls.

Why put yourself in a box?

We made each other cum. No one died.

I knew you were a virgin! [giggles]

No, you didn't.

How?

I'm not sure.

What did I do wrong?

Could've turned it up a couple of notches.

[Ian scoffs]

I'll show you mine... again.

-G-A-Y. -So, S-A-Y.

I know... you fancy me.

Try it again. Why cut things out?

There's a world... of possibilities.

Especially in Birmingham, so I hear.

[Anna laughs]

Don't try and bum me, though.

-The Maguires might hear me screams. -[both chuckle]

[Australian priest] Kenny touched many lives in many different ways

and it's so nice to have people whose lives he touched

with us today.

Via webcam from Chatsworth, England, we welcome Kenny's sister Mimi and family

and here, in Rafferty's Creek, the two Pete's, Bruce,

little Joe... and of course, Reggie.

In fact, they were all with Kenny at his birthday barbecue...

I just don't see why I've got to wear this monkey suit.

That suit did me for four trials, 15 funerals and a wedding as a boy.

You look a fine young man in it, son. Doesn't he, Mimi?

[priest] ...speak for yourself...

It's too tight, it don't even fit me properly.

You'd better be wearing underpants.

[priest] At my funerals, I like to celebrate...

-[zipper] -[Shane grunts]

So, any of you that have a few words to say about Kenny,

say it now.

Why don't you say a few words, love?

[priest] Any friends?

-[Paddy] We can put a phone call in. -[priest] Any acquaintance?

Anyone from Chatsworth? Anyone at all?

[Paddy] I'm sure they'd like something.

No takers.

In sure and certain hope... that the risen...

How long are you gonna keep this up?

Because I'm not sure I can take this much longer.

[priest] ...our brother Kenny... as we commit his body to the ground.

Earth to earth. Ashes to ashes.

And lo, as the child slept...

there came three kings from the East...

bearing...

gifts.

-[loud dance music] -[indistinct chatter, laughter]

[Lillian] Lovely firm buttocks.

He'll do anything I ask.

Close one eye, he could be David Beckham.

-My love... -Keep the change, pet.

She's taking me to Gran Canaria at the end of the month, aren't ya?

-Yeah. -Who's paying for that, then?

Three hundred and fifty-seven hits I had but I chose you, didn't I, Bradford?

[camera clicks]

Ooh. [giggles]

-Lucky man. -[Bradford] She spoils me.

Travel agents this afternoon?

Well, maybe.

I find it really hard to think money matters through.

'Cos I have migraine, y'see.

But... if we lie down together, we could, uh...

discuss it. [giggles]

Right you are.

[sniffs] I want what she's having.

A pint and two Es, Karen, please.

Money first, Frank.

[Frank groans]

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

Ah!

Job done.

That's a scratch card, Frank.

Correction. That is a winning scratch card.

Twenty quid.

Oh, fuck off, Frank!

-It's legal tender. -So, go and cash it,

come back, and I'll serve ya.

Oh! Fucking Pol Pot behind the bar!

[urinating]

[Frank singing] ♪ ...bright and beautiful ♪

[Frank grunts]

Where'd you get the scratch card, Frank?

-You dirty bastard! -Not the face! Anything but--

Where'd you get the fucking scratch card?

Liam.

[stammers] Well, I wasn't gonna, you know, steal off...

I'm not gonna steal off lickle Liam, am I now? I just... He can have it back.

Look, Paddy, I'm gonna do it, okay? I just need time to do it right.

There's a slightly more pressing matter needs discussing first.

That's a whole lap of the estate you've fallen behind now.

[Karen yells in pain]

[Jamie] You all right?

-[Karen] Oi! Pervert! -You've pulled a hamstring.

I'll be fine. Just need to run it off.

[Karen cries out, screams]

Let me go! Let me go!

You don't half kick up a fuss, you.

Let me go right now or I'll grab you in the bollocks.

I mean it! [cries out]

-You're injured. -[Karen] This is the last time, bozo.

[yells] Let me go, right... now!

-Fine. -[Karen cries out]

Frank here tells me there's a pile of scratch cards in your house.

Bollocks! What you on about?

Liam... Scratch cards.

Scratch card! It may only have just been the one.

-You said there were fucking loads. -Shut up, the pair of yous.

Does Mandy know?

'Course she doesn't.

So, you lied to my daughter as well as me?

Then let's get this straight.

I don't give a shit about the missing scratch cards.

That's Shane's worry, not mine.

This is about the lack of respect... you're showing me.

Your family.

I want the girl. Your brother will be fine.

But you bring her to me. Understand?

Yeah.

Right.

Shall I leave you to it?

-Stay there. -Sit down.

-[Ian gasps] -Paddy knows you're here.

-What? -Shit!

Fucking hell! Didn't know you had it in you!

-Piss off! -[chuckles] You have to go that way.

Yeah, but the Maguires live that way.

Yeah, I know, but they're all waiting in the yard.

I can buy her five minutes by holding them off, but...

you're gonna have to get out of here. I'll sort some transport out.

-[Anna] Get me bag. -I will do. Go!

-Cheers, Carl. -[bell tinkling]

D'you know what? I didn't like that job anyway.

[Anna] Woo! Birmingham here we come!

[Anna chuckles]

Too late, Paddy. She's gone.

[Paddy] To think I wanted you in my family.

Let me at him, Dad.

[Paddy] Think he deserves his pound of flesh, don't you?

Don't you touch him!

[Paddy] Your boyfriend has been keeping one or two things secret from you.

No, he hasn't.

Well that's another fucking lie he's been telling me.

I know all about it. Shane's a bully so people steal from him.

It's his own fault. You hit Lip and you're hitting me.

And I'll never speak to you again.

-Really? -You can forget me and forget Katie.

I'll be dead to you, d'you understand?

[screams] No!

Stop! Not that! The third bad thing!

You spoke! She spoke!

[Mimi] She said she'd be dead to us.

-I thought you couldn't fucking speak. -I've broken the, the curse.

I've saved Mandy!

You heard what she said. Don't touch him.

[Paddy laughs]

Oh, my darling!

As if I'd do anything to hurt you, my cherry, my love.

[Anna] No pressure, Ian,

but there's psychos coming to jump on my head.

I dunno what to do.

-I can see how we fit. -We do!

But I can't imagine a future. The, this isn't real.

It can be!

You know when a bloke goes past and you check out his arse?

-[Ian] So do I. -I don't care.

You do. You will.

I don't wanna go on my own.

I know.

Things happen around me. You'll never get bored.

Don't go for a man who prefers men.

It's really fucking demeaning.

You should have someone who worships ya.

Worships! That is gay.

Someone who wants you, then.

You want me.

Not enough.

No?

No.

Doesn't look like we've got the balls... does it?

Or the heart.

-That's a clincher. -Yeah.

[engine starts]

-Shit! -[emotive music]

[Frank] What? Liam gets some and I get nothing?

-[Debbie] Liam did some of the scratching. -Did anybody order pizza?

Nobody ordered pizza. This is a social call, isn't it, Carl?

Where's the fucking bike?

Shit!

You liked it...

But you're still a bender?

[mellow music playing in background]

Yeah, but are ya?

Well, yeah, 'course I am. It's not like I've got a choice.

You liked her, didn't ya?

Yeah.

[background music continues]

[sighs heavily]

-What's that? -[Lip chuckles]

Maguire family heirloom.

-Jeez! Where'd ya find that? -[Lip chuckling] Paddy give it us.

Wanted me to give it to Mandy.

[Ian chuckles] Fuck!

-You gonna? -I dunno.

I thought I would.

-But now I don't have to, I'm not sure! -[both laugh]

So, did you go down on her then, Mr Pussy Hound?

What's that gotta do with anything? [laughs]

Well, did ya?

-No. -[laughing] Yes! I knew it!

You can get off but you can't get on.

-You're a total gayer. -Well, that's what I've been saying.

[laughs]

[Ian] Knowing how ignorant you are is the first step on the path to wisdom.

I thought the cock was the ruling organ, convinced and wrong.

See where that went?

-What? -Paddy's ring.

-Fuck! -[chuckles] Fuck!

[Ian] It's the heart calls the shots and it's a nut job.

Oh, Christ, then there's the brain.

Here's a thought. All those straight men I've had sex with.

You tell me what that's about. [chuckles] I've no fucking idea!

[both laughing]

Sometimes I wonder why I married you.

It's Micky, not Shane!

-Deb's not interested in lads, are ya? -'Course I am!

-[singing] Debbie likes boys! -[boys cheering]

[Mate] Yeah, Spider, I think she fancies ya.

We're not going on a raid, are we?

Bit of business and pleasure, Karen, love.

You and Knobby, uh... up for a bit of fun?

People are gonna start talking!

-You fancy me? -Yeah.

-You shagging him? -Probably.

Hey!

I fucking hate ya.

[yells] Debbie!

[panting] You lying bitch!

[dog barking]