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1
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:34,640
Pick up five. Sorry, Troy.
Unless you've got another king.
2
00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:40,039
- I certainly have. Pick up 10, Donald.
- I think not. Pick up 15, Gavin.
3
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:42,829
But this is ridiculous,
there aren't 15 cards to pick up.
4
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,598
Calm down, Gav. This is only a game.
5
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:46,996
No, Gavin's right.
It's too hot for cards.
6
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:50,511
What say, we all have
a post-breakfast dip in the jacuzzi?
7
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,756
- Ooh, yes!
- TROY: That'll do for me.
8
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,598
- Come on.
- No. I'm fine here, thank you.
9
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:58,509
- Nonsense, we're all going in. Come on.
- I'm sorry. I said no.
10
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:01,279
Are you okay?
11
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,234
TROY: Come on!
12
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:07,949
- Last one in takes it up the bum.
- Ooh! That'll be all of us.
13
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:15,797
Right, I'm off to get me mam.
You're gonna talk to Mel.
14
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:17,399
Aye, all right.
15
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,833
You look nice, mam.
16
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,793
Thank you, darling.
17
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,549
- I'll be off then.
- Yeah.
18
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:32,158
Oh look! Me watch is wrong.
It's the 12th, not the 11th.
19
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:38,995
I say, me watch is wrong.
I'm sure it's the 12th today.
20
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,750
Yeah, well, that's what you get
for buying a cheap watch.
21
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:47,036
Mam? Why don't you want
me nana and Mel to get married?
22
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:50,318
Well, me dad said it's
because Mel's a nutter.
23
00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,839
Telle, are you gonna be all right
with baby Coolio?
24
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,270
Yeah, 'course I am. He is my baby.
25
00:01:58,400 --> 00:01:59,515
Right.
26
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:01,871
See you back here later.
27
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:08,559
I thought we could maybe go into
the old town for our tea tonight?
28
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:11,872
Just me and you.
29
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,632
- You kids'll be all right, won't ya?
- BOTH: Yeah.
30
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,637
You're joking, aren't ya?
31
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:19,034
What's the point
of spending money out there
32
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,390
when it's all paid for in here?
33
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:23,233
No, you're right.
34
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:25,799
No point at all!
35
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,516
Dad, I think mam's upset.
36
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,993
I know.
There's summat wrong with her watch.
37
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:45,273
Look, I don't want to make
a big thing of this. I just...
38
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,311
I just don't take my clothes
off in public.
39
00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:49,875
This isn't about body image, is it?
40
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,953
- Yes. It is actually.
- You've got to be joking.
41
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,549
- You're a fine figure of a man.
- Oh, please.
42
00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,194
Look, it's all about how
you see yourself.
43
00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:02,871
I mean, at home, when I look in
the mirror, I don't see a fat person.
44
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,791
- Really?
- No, not at all.
45
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:07,799
Right, I see.
46
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,636
Where'd you buy these mirrors?
47
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:24,238
Large vodka and orange
and a gin and tonic.
48
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:25,759
Thanks, love.
49
00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:30,990
- A bit early for this, isn't it?
- Do you want it or not?
50
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,880
There's no need to take
that tone with me, lady.
51
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,911
It's not my fault,
your ignorant pig of a husband
52
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,759
forgot your 10-year wedding anniversary.
53
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,509
I'm not here to talk about Mick.
We're here to talk about Mel.
54
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,115
Oh, no.
55
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,671
If you brought me here
to try and talk me out
56
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,518
of getting married to the man I love,
57
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,712
you can stick your vodka and orange
up your arse.
58
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,070
The man you love?
You've only known him 20 minutes.
59
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,033
We'll have known each other
four weeks on Saturday.
60
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:03,075
And on Saturday, I'll be having a white
wedding on the beach here in Benidorm.
61
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,270
A white wedding?
62
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,472
Who the frig gonna be wearing white,
you or him?
63
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,079
Oh, very funny.
64
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:10,879
And you can stay away
if you'll be coming out
65
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,276
with vicious comments like that.
66
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,959
Don't talk rubbish.
67
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,594
As if I'm going to stay away
from me own mother's wedding.
68
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,518
Ah! Wouldn't make much difference to me.
69
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,631
None of me other six daughters'll
be there.
70
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:25,071
- And why do you think that is?
- Because they're not on holiday with us.
71
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:28,909
No. Because you've systematically
alienated every one of them.
72
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,998
Ooh! Look who's swallowed
a bloody dictionary.
73
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,471
They may as well be aliens,
I'd see 'em more often.
74
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,434
I just don't want someone
you've known for three weeks
75
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,119
to drive a wedge between us.
76
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,551
No, but you're happy for him
to pay for your holiday.
77
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:47,390
You didn't tell me he'd paid until
we got here. I thought you'd paid.
78
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:52,833
Don't you raise your voice to me, lady.
And it's four weeks not three weeks.
79
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,031
Three weeks, four weeks, does it matter?
80
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,833
Just think about
what you're doing, mother.
81
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,952
Don't you worry.
I know exactly what I'm doing.
82
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,717
And I also know that on our
10-year wedding anniversary,
83
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:06,878
I won't be spending it on me own
in an empty Spanish bar
84
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,152
crying into me gin and tonic, like you.
85
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:29,114
Here we go, coffee,
black, like your women.
86
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,553
Just a joke to break the ice.
87
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,274
We've not really had a chance to talk,
have we?
88
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,198
So you and Madge getting married?
89
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:40,039
You sorted out the OK! Magazine
deal yet?
90
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,389
You think yourself a bit of a comedian,
don't you?
91
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:46,353
- Depends how tough the crowd is.
- Do you know what I think?
92
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,790
No. I'm a comedian, not a mind reader.
93
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,230
I think, as a man in your late 40s,
94
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,954
you should spend less time poking
your nose into other people's business
95
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,117
and more time looking after
your own affairs.
96
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:57,992
- Look, can we...
- Madge and I are in love.
97
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,589
We're getting married. Deal with it.
98
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,069
I'm 41.
99
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,712
- Give us it here.
- You what?
100
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,956
You've been fiddling with that
for 20 minutes.
101
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,152
Not that I've been watching ya.
My name's Jack.
102
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,995
You're very confident for a 12 year old.
103
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,191
(CHUCKLES) I'm 24.
104
00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,397
It's just the date
you're trying to change, is it?
105
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,955
Yeah, and if you can't do it,
just give it us back.
106
00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:36,550
I need to go find me mother
before her battery runs out.
107
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,196
You are absolutely gorgeous.
108
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,272
- Is that supposed to be a compliment?
- Uh, yeah.
109
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,313
Does your mother know
you talk to women like this?
110
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,829
- My mum died last year.
- I'm sorry.
111
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,639
Me dad as well.
112
00:06:57,280 --> 00:07:00,750
Me and me sister bought this place
with the money they left us.
113
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,077
Well, I'm very sorry to hear
about your parents, Jack,
114
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,192
and it's lovely to hear your life story,
but I'd better get going.
115
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,311
Hang on. I'm nearly there.
116
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,837
You remembered my name.
117
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,078
Yeah. I did, didn't I?
118
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:16,954
That means we should run off together
119
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:18,991
into the Mediterranean sunset
and get married.
120
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,838
All right. I'm up for it.
121
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:25,079
Seriously, I'd marry you tomorrow.
You're gorgeous.
122
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,756
I've got enough weddings
to go to this week, thank you.
123
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,154
All right.
124
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,357
I'll settle for a kiss.
125
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:37,754
Okay, Jack. We've established
you're genuinely hilarious.
126
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:40,952
What we haven't established
is that I'm married.
127
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,599
What happens in Benidorm
stays in Benidorm.
128
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,999
- It's just a kiss.
- Goodbye, Jack.
129
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,077
You haven't paid for your drinks.
130
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,272
Oh! Me bag's on me mother's wheelchair.
131
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:58,119
I'm sure we can come
to some arrangement.
132
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,869
Yeah. Here you are.
133
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,198
There's your change.
134
00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:19,915
Wow!
135
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:24,235
Bye!
136
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,031
Kelly! How are you?
137
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,197
Hello, Mr Stewart, Mrs Stewart.
138
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:43,439
Oh! What a lovely surprise!
Come and sit down.
139
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:46,678
- Thanks.
140
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:50,191
How's your mum after that terrible
business in the pool?
141
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,550
Oh, she's okay, thanks.
142
00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:54,353
She said she's gonna sue the hotel
143
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,551
and pay to have
the woman's kneecaps broken.
144
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,398
You know, the one who threw her in.
145
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,717
- Still a bit upset then?
- You could say that.
146
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,309
Oh dear. And how are you?
147
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:07,831
Well, that's why I'm here, to be honest.
I need some advice.
148
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,075
Go on.
149
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,999
I went to work last night and, well,
this was waiting for me.
150
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,270
Oh, I haven't got my glasses.
151
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,035
"Dear Kelly, I love you.
152
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:22,119
"Kelly, I need you. You are not like
the other English pig girls.
153
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,232
"You are kind, beautiful
and you do not smell"
154
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:28,273
You've got to admit,
he's got a way with words.
155
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:32,234
"If we cannot be together,
I ask for one last night of passion.
156
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:35,113
"I know you want this.
With one night of passion,
157
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,710
"I will show you that you need me
as much as I need me."
158
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,355
Sadly enough,
I don't think that's a mistake.
159
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:43,800
Oh, this is a good bit.
160
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,479
"The throbbing of my heart for you
161
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:49,116
"is as big as the throbbing
in my trousers. Mateo."
162
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,914
Aw. I think I like him again now.
163
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:55,034
"P.S. Please do not show this letter
to your mother.
164
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,720
"She is crazy like stabbed bull."
165
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,430
No, actually.
He has got a point with that last bit.
166
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:02,994
Isn't it a shame
167
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:07,591
when the nice-looking ones
always turn out to be the nutters?
168
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:09,950
I mean, look at Harry Seacombe.
169
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,275
Pass your pen to Kelly, Jacqueline.
170
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,240
I think we know how to sort this out.
171
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,237
Dear Mateo...
172
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:30,956
We should travel more, you know.
173
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,631
I mean, I know this holiday hasn't
exactly gone to plan, but...
174
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,036
Just feel that sun.
175
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:43,270
Next holiday,
I know it sounds crazy, but...
176
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:47,109
No planning, no booking,
just get up and go.
177
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,873
Can you imagine how liberating
that would be?
178
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:52,715
Yes.
179
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:59,873
I know it's ridiculous, but can you
imagine going to the airport,
180
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,991
running up to the desk and saying,
181
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:06,193
"Here's my passport, here's my money,
you decide where I'm going.
182
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:10,279
"To hell with the consequences.
I just need to goddamn get away."
183
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:12,315
Yes.
184
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:23,072
I'm writing these postcards and I don't
know half the people's addresses.
185
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,352
- What you writing them for then?
- I don't know.
186
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,753
I can always give 'em to people
when we get home.
187
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,235
Save on stamps that way, as well.
188
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,470
- Hiya, you all right?
- Oh, hiya, yeah.
189
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,349
Fine, thanks.
190
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,040
- Hello, it's Chantelle, isn't it?
- Yeah.
191
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,437
Yes. I was speaking to your mum
the other day.
192
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:50,315
And this is your son.
Can we have a look at him?
193
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:55,071
Oh, he's taken the sun well, hasn't he?
194
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,235
Mam!
195
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,479
He's mixed race.
196
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,074
Oh, right.
197
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,393
Like your father.
198
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,674
My late husband was half Irish.
199
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,189
Although you'd never know
from just looking at him.
200
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:14,190
Mind you, he never moved his arms
when he was dancing,
201
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,317
so the clues were there.
202
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,717
Geoff were gonna ask
if you can look after me son
203
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:24,515
- if we went out for a drink together?
- Oh, lovely!
204
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,871
Ah, yeah, I was gonna ask you,
but, um, I forgot.
205
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,197
No. That's smashing.
When are you going out? Tonight?
206
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:32,594
- Yeah.
207
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,599
I was thinking about
maybe tomorrow night?
208
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:39,873
All right. No. Actually tomorrow night
is better for me.
209
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,479
I'm a bit tied up tonight.
210
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,592
I thought it was just
doing karaoke tonight?
211
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,711
No. No.
212
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,114
- I'm quite busy tonight.
- Busy doing what?
213
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,359
You know, people to see, places to go.
214
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,356
What people have you got to see?
You don't know anybody here.
215
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:03,872
- Just people!
- And what places have you got to go to?
216
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,038
You've not been outside the building
since we got here.
217
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:10,118
Yeah, exactly,
which is why I've got to do all me
218
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:13,596
- stuff tonight, isn't it?
- Well, if you say so.
219
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,040
Yeah, I do.
220
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:18,790
Right, well, anyway,
is tomorrow okay for you?
221
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:23,596
Lovely. You bring him any time you want.
222
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,754
All right, well, maybe see you later.
223
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,793
Yeah. Cool. Whatever.
224
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,070
# We're going to the chapel
225
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:39,558
# And we're going to get married #
226
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,473
Will you shut up?
227
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,513
Right I'll have to get back.
228
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,916
I've left someone halfway through
Wig Wam Bam.
229
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,270
Excuse me. I need to find my wife.
230
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,711
- Well, I'm not stopping ya.
- No, sorry. I mean, have you seen her?
231
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,069
What's she look like?
232
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:05,239
You've seen her with me.
Blonde, about average height,
233
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:08,830
very pretty, late 30s, looks younger.
234
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,671
Slight intolerance to wheat.
235
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,030
No. I can't think who you mean.
236
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,232
Looks quite miserable most of the time.
237
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:20,830
Oh her? No. I've not seen her today.
238
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,396
I just assumed she'd gone for a walk,
but she's taken her clothes, suitcase.
239
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:27,512
- She hasn't left a message here for me?
- No.
240
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,518
Janey, I need you to read this.
241
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,234
- I'm busy.
- Janey, please.
242
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,351
Oh, for Christ's sake, give us it here.
243
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:42,190
"Dear Mateo. I am sorry
I have been avoiding you. You are right.
244
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:46,075
"Even if we cannot be together,
you deserve one last night of passion,
245
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,953
"Room 204. Love, K."
246
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,151
You're a dirty get.
247
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:52,395
Kate.
248
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,431
Room 204.
249
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,673
Come on, you breeders.
250
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:13,595
# Wam bam, bam sham-a-lam
251
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,633
ALL: # Wam bam, bam sham-a-lam #
252
00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:21,231
TROY: Come on!
# Wam bam, bam sham-a-lam
253
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:25,115
# Wham bam, bam sham-a-lam #
254
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:29,158
- Look, don't let 'em get you down.
- I'm all right.
255
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,879
Well, you don't look all right.
256
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,071
You've been upset since
you came back this afternoon.
257
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,793
I said, I'm fine.
258
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,320
I don't give a shit if
they never talk to us ever again.
259
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,590
Well, I do. That's my mother.
260
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,278
If they wanna get married,
I say let 'em get on with it.
261
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:49,472
What is marriage anyway?
It don't mean anything.
262
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:51,677
It's only a bit of paper.
263
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,197
Mam, are you all right?
264
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,237
Janice, what's wrong?
265
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,071
What's the matter, love?
266
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:05,635
Hey...
267
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,879
MATEO: Kelly?
268
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,480
KELLY: Aah!
269
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,116
(JE T'AIME PLAYING)
270
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:41,114
MATEO: Oh.
271
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:47,033
Oh, Kelly. I have missed you so much.
272
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:51,918
But tonight, I will be your matador.
273
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:56,269
You will ride me like a crazy bull.
274
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,275
You are beautiful in every way.
275
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,439
(WHISPERING)
276
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:23,636
# Wam bam, bam sham-a-lam #
277
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,991
- I'm all right, honest, I'm fine.
- You're not fine.
278
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:32,318
Come on. What have I done?
Just tell me what I've done.
279
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,397
What have you done?
280
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,956
10 years married and you didn't
even buy your wife a card.
281
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:41,152
What are you wittering on about,
you daft, old...
282
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,756
- Oh, my God.
- It's all right.
283
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:47,475
And you have the brassneck cheek
to criticise my fella.
284
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,558
You're no better than animals,
the lot of yer.
285
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,359
Unbelievable.
286
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,790
- Janice, I'm so sorry.
- It's all right.
287
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,639
- But 10 years.
- It's fine.
288
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,559
I'm not bothered about that,
honestly, Mick.
289
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,910
I love you. I love you so much.
290
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,519
I love you, too.
291
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:11,634
Come here.
292
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:18,590
# Wig wam bam
Gonna make you my man
293
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:22,475
# Wam bam bam
Gonna get you if I can
294
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:26,309
# Wig wam bam
gonna make you understand
295
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:30,320
# Try a little touch,
try a little too much
296
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,478
#Just try a little wig wam bam#
297
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,876
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
298
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,279
TROY: Thank you.
299
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:46,438
HOST: Next up, we have Janice Garvey
singing Real Dead Ringer For Love.
300
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,679
Shit. Sorry, mam. I put you down.
301
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,872
It's all right, darling.
I want to sing it.
302
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,230
I'm gonna sing it for your dad.
303
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,312
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
304
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:09,839
Come on, Jan.
305
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:18,431
Have you and me mam
really been married 10 years, dad?
306
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:22,394
Yes, son. 10 wonderful years.
307
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:29,599
# Every night I grab some money
And I go down to the bar
308
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:33,395
# I got my buddies and a beer
I got a dream, I need a car
309
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,956
# You got me begging on my knees
C'mon and throw the dog a bone
310
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,959
# A man he doesn't live by rock 'n roll
And brew alone
311
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:46,392
# Baby baby rock 'n roll and brew
Rock 'n roll and brew
312
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,194
# They don't mean a thing
When I compare 'em next to you
313
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,039
# Rock n roll and brew
Rock 'n roll and brew
314
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,555
# I know that you and I
Oh, we got better things to do
315
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,751
# I don't know who you are
Or what you do
316
00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,430
# Or where you go when you're not around
317
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:06,078
# I don't know anything about you, baby
But you're everything I'm dreaming of
318
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:10,873
# I don't know who you are
But you're a real dead ringer for love
319
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,072
# A real dead ringer for love #
320
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:23,314
(STRUGGLING)
321
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,478
Kate! Kate, hold on, I'm coming!
322
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,794
Martin! How the devil are you?
323
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,513
Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I thought...
324
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:37,520
No worries. Are you off to the karaoke?
We're nearly done here.
325
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,718
(MUFFLED GRUNTING)
326
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,558
Yes. I'll..
327
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,150
See you downstairs.
328
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,119
(MATEO PANTING)
329
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,357
(MUFFLED GRUNTING)
330
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,438
# Rock 'n roll and brew
Rock 'n roll and brew
331
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,234
# I know that you and I
Oh, we got better things to do
332
00:20:57,360 --> 00:21:00,239
# Rock 'n roll and brew
Rock 'n roll and brew
333
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,715
# They don't mean a thing
When I compare 'em next to you
334
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,672
# I don't know who you are
Or what you do
335
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,519
# Or where you go when you're not around
336
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:14,113
# I don't know anything about you, baby
But you're everything I'm dreaming of
337
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:19,112
# I don't know who you are
But you're a real dead ringer for love
338
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:22,756
# A real dead ringer for love #
26877
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