Original subtitles

the dington court

English

fore

for Lo

right on time a b out of the way I hope

we don't miss the news no you won't miss

the news all

what for God's sake slow down Bill

you're a maniac we're late to hell with

that I'm only having a drink I'd like to

be alive to enjoy it

[Music]

H vill gentlemen I want you to know that

our commanding officers just tried to

kill

me man's a maniac sh up here is the news

read by Alvar Del an official

announcement from Washington about 2

hours ago the Americans have made

Landings at alers and or on

theeran by Christmas that'll take the

pressure off back home we they promis to

sck in front long

enough during the night they were made

with British naal and air support many

divisions of the British army are on

their way to reinforce them the Supreme

Commander is General Eisenhower iel that

[Applause]

[Music]

drink oh Lis I didn't see you sitting up

there L haven't seen you for weeks where

have you

been another Hush Hush team attempting

to produce petrol from manure does it

sound promising we got our best results

from sacred cars all things at s OE

splended nearly every night an

electrifying bridge game oh good old top

secret Colonel Pew you're lucky you're

in uniform I'm just a bloody tea planter

what's T got to do with the war I'm told

it's good for morale s soe Special

Operations executive what the devil you

chaps do OD Js come on all right a new

usual

operations you sound like a ruddy

abortionist not a bad

description well I see you're having

lunch so I'll TR along God bless see you

soon hope so thanks for the drink Bill

and don't offer me another lift ever red

don't you owe me aink that all about

well I scared the hell out of him by

driving too fast my own frustration I

suppose I'm just as envious of you as he

is you know being the managing director

of a chemical plant is not exactly my

idea a glorious contribution to the war

what would you like me to say you've

been classified essential where you are

if you want to consider me lucky to be

doing what I'm doing go ahead when I

think what happened to your wife and

your daughter in C come off oh I'm sorry

L I didn't mean to open up old wounds

well you do have some opportunity for

Revenge oh good

God if I have to kill some poor Devils

it's not

Revenge doesn't really diminish my anger

or my grief

not one bit now what do you say we Tred

to have a pleasant

lunch I'm sorry how's Doris oh she's

fine she's

fine Louis if you should ever hear of a

job that's so odd that nobody else would

want to get involved in it do think of

the kkat light

horse it's not very likely no I know

we're all civilians these days and we're

a little thin on top and thick in the

middle but I guarantee you everyone of

those fellas would pull his own weight

that's not an intentional joke you will

remember it won't you just in

case don't forget

[Music]

morning Coro morning

[Music]

sir good morning M McKenzie morning

Helen PE and Captain Stewart are here oh

thank you

well leis how did things go in Kolkata

all set sir by tomorrow night Force 136

should be behind Japanese lines in Burma

blowing up various little items good all

right let's get down to new business I

see you've been studying the Admiral's

urgent request astonishing 46 freers

sunk by German submarines in the Indian

Ocean in the past month eberts know

exactly where and when to strike

incredibly accurate information etc etc

radio monitoring finally managed to home

in on a powerful transmitter 400 mil

south of Bombay just last night what do

you suppose took them so long sir I was

not the reason why well here we go Gavin

off to blow up a transmitter not exactly

the bloody thing's not in India proper

it's in Goa damn it somewhere in the M

Goa Harbor neutral territory Portuguese

Colony that's a bit tricky actually also

our people haven't been able to break

the code if radio monitoring are right

and the transmitter is actually in the

harbor then it must be on a ship you

don't suppose that it could be on one of

the three German Freighters in turn

there but the Portuguese authorities

dismantled those ships radios when they

gave them permission to stay there yes

but how do we know that one of them

doesn't have another transmitter hidden

somewhere aboard we don't and here we

are with the strictest orders never to

violate Portugal's neutrality well then

what do you suggest we do about it so

you can here and fro at the mouth or we

can try and find out where all that

information that's transmitted to those

OTS originates I have a suggestion sir

Gavin and I could spend a day or two

endure poking about see what we can dig

up dig up or pick up oh he uh speaks for

himself I speak for myself yes well I

was speaking for

you yes all right I suppose this is top

priority go ahead and dig

[Music]

[Music]

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take cup of time

[Music]

well that's the three of

[Music]

them but which one has the transmitter

[Music]

there's our old

friend a gentleman a great pleasure to

see you

again please

how's the heart Manuel my heart I

never you joke with me not exactly sit

down Mel you look like your feet

hurt Germans outside which ship are they

from the arinells captain roer very

Charming gentleman actually no doubt no

doubt well what's been happening nothing

just the usual usual what people coming

and going eating and drinking everything

normal how's the uh gambling Manel a

little slow and naturally the police

keep asking for more and more that's too

bad let's get to the point Manuel my

friend here has a nice fat packet of

escudos to lose on your wheel personally

I would wish for him to win

man how much are we talking

about all and then I commit suicide

right on your

doorstep by the same token I could give

it to you here right now no Sor no maybe

it would be more fun to lose it bit by

bit what do you think yes Sor meanwhile

you and I will be having a pleasant

little chat in your private

office please

I'll be one minute

thank gentlemen

your good

luck spad Lu say that oh instantly

retracted 34 red and even must have been

the instant

retractor or maybe it was a good luck to

begin with or how about plain

Destiny I think I'll try that

again good

luck I hope

so how about celebrating my impending

loss with the bottle of champagne thank

you I don't drink when I

gamble

smoke tap Dan not recently how about tea

in the lunch you do hear those little

kicking

Sounds by the way my name is Gavin

Stewart I take it the that is the

wedding ring that's what it is and you

are Mrs

Cromwell let me Hazard a guess Mrs

Cromwell you are here in G on holiday

and your husband is an acutely large

gentleman probably sitting at the back

table no I live here here and my husband

is dead oh I'm sorry I tend to be over

Charming I really am

sorry there's no need to be let's watch

Chand

disappear no well you're not thinking

hard enough I'm doing my best let's try

again we're talking about Indians who

visit your Outdoor Cafe frequently yes

quite a few I said so it's a very

popular place we're talking about

someone else probably a German who might

just pass by at the same time every day

it's not something I who might drop in

for a few minutes or who might be

followed down the street by one of the

Indians look I'm really like to help you

but I don't notice these things AR too

busy in the

place

Manuel listen whatever you pay the

police to let you keep the gambling

going I can double it to have them shut

you down

so take a bit of friendly

advice I want you to notice these

things down place your bets ladies

gentlemen really have faith hope would

be a better word would you mind if I

asked what you're doing Ina

losing but with Incredible Grace oh

actually I am here on business just for

the day I have to be back in Bombay

tomorrow night it may sound qu but I

sell

te 22 black and evil that does it you've

lost quite a lot I'm sorry oh where I

look at it I won I met you and I would

like to meet you again perhaps you will

on your next trip I'll be here

bless your bets ladies

gentlemen Senor I'm very frightened

Manuel I promised you that no one will

ever know you've said anything at all

you don't even know their names all you

know is that an Indian with a mole on

his cheek and a tall European may be

communicating with each other what they

may not exactly Le we have a long drive

Senor the gambling strictly between you

and the

police Mrs Cromwell may I be of some

assistance manwell I've been really luy

I'm taking home a lot of your money I'm

so happy for you congratulations well

you probably know I'll come back and

lose it all but just now I feel

marvelous Manuel I'd like to give you a

little something oh no I couldn't accept

why not of course you could oh but I

never tip you when you lose

Manuel I

insist look damn it we've got to get rid

of that transmitter do you know how many

lives depend on supplies that are lying

at the bottom of the Indian Ocean I

think we do sir but we still don't know

exactly where it is I think our first

priority is to find whoever heads the

sping and how do you propose to handle

that the lead you picked up in go is

rather fragile I'm not so sure you know

that the man who gave it to us was

murdered it's worth following up and

just suppose you discover Who the head

spy is then what Gavin and I kidnap him

and interrogate him rather thoroughly

Ino right if that's where he is granted

there's a risk of being caught in

neutral territory we can always plead

Insanity sir that he speaks for

himself then do it but it dislikes me if

you two are caught God knows what

trouble we'll be

in all right go ahead and make plans

thank you

sir what should G why

not Helen get me 641 and go

[Music]

[Music]

yes compliments of the

management That's What I Call Portuguese

Hospitality thank you very

much thank you welcome to go thank

you that was fast well the truth is

McKenzie has a telephone built into his

wooden

leg what does it say possible your man

is R DUS Gupta Indian about

32 large mole on right cheek Clark for

inter Europe shipping Bombay currently

living at 197 cabal Street Goa known

political activist for Indian

independence I think we should meet this

fellow

that means right now

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

sh

may I use your

telephone thank

you

29 yes

sir be calling me

back yes

D is there someone here named Ram D gter

this call is for Mr Ram d g perhaps he's

outside

I'm sure you would like to go to the

toilet now listen very carefully your

name is Ram DUS gupter you live at 197

cabal Street you work at inter Europe

shipping unless you fully cooperate

we'll be delighted to kill you is that

underst listen to this leis the anism

trader 6,212 tons cargo varied including

tank and plane ammo approximate latitude

1025 longitude

7415 January 27th between

0800

2100 that's one we saved you are a

naughty boy I wouldd like you to go back

to your table and continue with your

usual routine we'll be watching the

tiniest false move and you're dead

spe

[Music]

the fatherland's number one agent at

soution for sure I'm sure

stay here I'll be back

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

did that strong coffee upset your

stomach no a

Pity if you don't keep your mouth shut

the next meeting may not be this

friendly

Mrs

scell hello oh well it's to that effect

hello what a coincidence I've uh been

sitting over there waiting for you no

you

haven't well I cannot tell a lie to tell

you the truth I'm waiting for a business

associate who's never been on time in

his life

[Applause]

[Music]

by the way it's Gava I remember

do I still call you Mrs crumble oh no

wait don't answer that what's your dog's

name you won't laugh

guaranteed

Hamlet but it's not a great day he

doesn't know

that and you may not believe this but

they named me

Agnes I'm still not laughing Agnes there

I was a helpless infant oh copy please

and the human arm of the dog please par

just a

copy you were saying a helpless infant

may I said how spectacularly you have

matured but first is it all right if I

continue to call you Mrs

Cromwell that is the best idea I've

heard all

day it's still early this is

[Music]

I really must leave the Beast needs the

exercise don't forget we still still

have that

date thanks for the

coffee have a lovely walk Mrs

Cromwell fast work well a man does not

live by bread alone a man who loves dogs

can't be all

bad come along I have some news for you

there those two men so we pay the bill

and then wait outside trumpet's house

right we could wait there the rest of

the day and the night too don't you

think the car will look a trial

conspicuous well I suppose it might but

we can't just break into his house and

take him we

could except we don't know who else

might be there I don't like the idea of

gter running about loose I mean he knows

we're not in tea

all

right we'll pick up Mr trumpet in the

morning well in that event leis i u have

a small favor to

ask need to look at me like that you

know my country comes first you'd like

me to take a long invigorating walk

tonight you could sit in the

bar the walk will do me more

good excuse me seor you have a l on my

cigarette

[Music]

you for

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

put your hands on your

head you're a bloody

fool you shoot me your life's not worth

a rupee nevertheless yes I will also

shoot the lady G

[Music]

[Music]

in you killed

him yes he was about to kill me Andrew

that sort of thing tends to make me

impulsive

did you know

him

no it was a nice throw thank you

would God have

that a little

complicated where did you get the

pistol from

him that is just perfect we have an

appointment tomorrow with Imperial Tea

Company not with the bloody police what

was I supposed to do Lis let him kill

us as you've probably gathered this is

my boss leis how do you

do little civility wouldn't be out of

place with it I mean it wasn't her

fault want to go now I'll take you no

thanks I didn't mean to sound rude you

must be very

upset

upset why would I be upset

I mean it was just a simple murder I

promise you you won't be involved with

the police that is unless you wish to

involve yourself go that's all I need no

this is strictly your problem if it

comes to it I'll deny I was even here as

you

wish good night

did you really have to kill him I mean

we could have worked on him perhaps

leared something about from Peta

honestly Lis I really had no choice what

happened to you two very pleasant chaps

tried to kill me at the dock did they

maybe we should have both sat in the bar

where are they now they're

resting what do we do with

him as McKenzie said when in trouble

call room service

could I trouble you for a match I don't

smoke would you please look at the white

car over there I think you might find it

interesting if he has to kill you here

and now he will let you and I get into

the car very quietly

[Music]

just relax sit back that's a good boy

[Music]

Ro they're kidnapping me help

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

damn

it well there's no longer much point in

delivering him to intelligence let's

stump him here no wait till we cross the

border can't have him found in Goa

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

your papers gentlemen I gu of course

turned out nice again hasn't

it thank you

and that

gentleman here it is I'm sure you'll

find everything in

order perfectly sir have a good trip

gentlemen

[Music]

you got away with killing trompeta and a

fat lot of good ID us we did find out

that the transmitters on the Aon Feld I

I understand your feelings no you don't

you took one hell of a risk for next to

nothing whoever tromp peta's number two

man is took over immediately we still

haven't been able to break the code

while you were on the train for two days

coming back to Delhi three more ships

have been

sunk did you hear what I said three more

ships have been sunk

I'd like to go into that Harbor with

Commandos and blow the whole filthy

place up but we can't which is rather

frustrating also I've got no suggestions

which may account for my unpleasant

disposition if the professionals can't

do it we might have to turn to

amateurs and what does that mean what if

a group of British civilians managed to

board their themselves if they were

caught might be taken as a drunken

Escapade you know businessmen on holiday

and Goa without their wives having a

smashing good time little chancy with

the Portuguese government that's a

masterpiece of understatement London

would have our heads it might just

succeed sir oh

God and which civilians did you have in

mind the Katta light horse

sir the what it's a part-time

territorial unit they haven't seen

action for 40 years

years Lewis you're talking about a mixed

bag of boozing middle-aged potbellied

businessmen no argument but when the war

started every man Jack of them

volunteered for active service those

that were not accepted for whatever

reasons are all EX soldiers they know

weapons they know tactics they'd give

their right arms to help it's insane

leis and you know it

put together a plan on ad

SE thank you

sir over to me move

it it

back it's yours

[Applause]

well done well

done have you seen Bill no probably in

the

[Applause]

bar obviously everything we've just told

you the operation the destination all of

it is for your ears only are you

expecting my men to volunteer without

having the faintest idea what they're

volunteering for right I thought so all

that the men must must know is that it

couldn't be more

important it'll be quite

risky and it's top secret unfortunately

Bill there'll be no pay in it no

pensions if anyone's killed or wounded

and no

credit but all sounds unbelievably

attractive to me and I take it no medals

if all goes well no medals no

recognition at

all I love it so will they

go last of course Melborn again early

for

casualties he'll be all right you okay

DIY damn fool you all right I think so

that's not all all the wind out of me

well there's enough of it in there Dicky

lad that's tremendously amusing must

have been relieved to your Pony Robert

no Chef once I've adjusted my trust I'll

be happy to thump you on the head come

on Dicky just a bit of fun in a cold

cruel

world

for and Fen

fire I've told you everything about this

operation I'm allowed to the light horse

has not been in action as a unit since

the bore war in 1900s

but I hope and believe that we soon will

be good good I'm calling for between 15

and 20

volunteers I was afraid of that thank

you gentlemen I appreciate it now those

of you who are selected will leave in

about 7 days you'll be gone for two

weeks I think it's best if you tell your

wives you've been ordered up to Ranchi

for a twoe training period of local

defense that sort of thing

so now will you all please give your

names and telephone numbers to Sandy

Lums here we go

sorry Jack Bill I'm going on this about

L God bless us

everyone oh help us take your choice

and you could move that game further

down the beach if you don't

mind it starts off like a Hungarian

omelet first steal one egg we're

actually stealing an entire ship can't

rent one and naturally the Navy has

nothing available then I have the sail

the bloody thing the whole way around

India from

Kolkata to coochin yes you're the only

one of us with any experience at Sea and

all I get is five Li horse for crew plus

three hard lasers we are not stealing

the Queen Mary and we're not exactly

looking for a robo

either all

right Charlie Wilton knows engines and I

can

navigate but well suppose we make it

then you bring the others across by

train to coach in I pick you up and we

sail right into marago Harbor and blow

up everything in sight just like that

right nothing to it and for a grand

finale we escape 20 of us against maybe

120 of them won't be 120 of them Gavin

will see to that he'll be in Goa

arranging all sorts of brilliant

diversions come in I think it's Jack you

come in Jack take a seat no thank you

sir I'll Stand forget the sir I can't

make a speech bill but this is the only

chance I have to settle accounts for my

boy your boy he was killed in Burma

didn't know

sorry well that's really what I came

about God knows I know how you feel but

you must realize I don't think you do at

all but you don't understand the

operation I don't know how to say this

to you but we just can't risk your old

ticker there's nothing wrong with it

bill I have my pills I'll take

it no liability at all I do have some

strange deals to make and I'm sure he'll

handle some of them better than I

can well

Bill all right Jack it's all yours

[Music]

oh God I'm dying oh H I'm dead I've been

dead nearly 20 minutes I thought I

smelled something strange

[Music]

good God what are you doing just toning

up what on Earth for my health well mind

your hernia

[Music]

dear why the hell don't you whistle or

something before you come out here

Mr Melbourne are you all right no I'm

just having a a private heart attack get

out this wedworth

com

in Louis delightful to see you is that

Gavin by George it is Gavin wait you

mean the one with the blood rushing to

his feet to your right

I'm glad to see you back in one piece

Yogi it was a lovely Mission there

certain parts of Burma that won't be

quite the same again anything new coming

up for Force 136 sir oh just for you

marvelous what can I do for you how

would you like to blow up two or three

enemy ships in a neutral Harbor

delighted you'll have to get me a couple

of days notice to get my gear ready

it'll be in and out fast there won't be

a second chance at these targets I

haven't needed one yet have I the one

thing I can't abide is a lack of

confidence we'll be in touch then fine

war and upward anything new in the

papers

y yes the world's upside

down could sail across the serpentine

let Al around India it's a bloody River

booat it's the right size there won't be

any great upro when it's

missing there something very peculiar

going on Bill what is it what what you

never shave at night well rather a

novelty I thought for once not to shave

in the morning when I'm still asleep

that's not it not

why you can really be the most

exasperating I'm probably being even

more exas erating a good wife does not

pry darling you can pry as much as you

like now the reason I'm shaving now is

because I have to get up tomorrow

morning at 4:00 and go charging up to

run she end up bloody great truck to do

two weeks incredibly boring training

whatever it is it's far too important to

you oh

really it's another woman isn't

it

is another woman

me I have never loved nor will I ever

love anyone but

you and got me all laed up

[Music]

[Music]

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hold it what the hell is

this no questions just answers now if

you create any problem we shall have to

kill you

have you taken a look at the engine in

this thing no but I have a general idea

belong to the museum so do some of us

you're up let's take a stroll on the

prominade

deck I've got this you

I've been saving this for a long time

now I know why to

us to

us to

us to the operation amen

[Music]

I Haven got the faintest idea what makes

this thing

work do

you see you in coaching

[Music]

you

[Music]

up

[Music]

my shepher I shall no

want get

up not into the wind Robin not into the

wind Robin oh God done it again for God

sake don't describe it to me I'm going

down below to hit myself over the head

with a hammer remember I've still got

the cook

one an industrious

job you wouldn't you sadistic what

wouldn't

I you know Yogi when we get to wherever

it is we're going I'm going to kill you

might have a matter Robin think toest a

me I'm not doing a damn fo taking on

this

job one

Well Jack old CH if anyone has to swim

for it this is where you'll be Jack cut

right entire onshore rescue and first a

team you'd better put a lari up there

now should you pick anyone up they're to

be taken straight out of go and if you

have to drive through the Border

barricades and take over that River the

you do

[Music]

it thank God you're not my wife life any

kind of physical contact brings on the

most outrageous sexual remars the

woman's

insatiable you're a lucky fellow she

bites bloody undignified at my age I

prefer a bit of grateful whimpering even

if it's only be from

me I never survived the trading

R I'm talking of Survivor RIS I swore to

myself I'd never asked this which is why

I'm asking but all those explosives as

we loaded onto that ridiculous phe what

on Earth are they

for

oh it's my opinion we're going to storm

a Mountaintop con Bola hats and barus

veins and umbrellas a and the nuns will

shoot that deals off well someone will

let's play

bridge oh love crof must have melons for

adenoids the next round's on me uh cruml

c r o m w e l

l hold on who is it Jack

it's

open

hello ah yes you have it what do you

mean you can't give it to me it's

unlisted well where are you I'll come

down and pay

you we all have to learn to live with

the odd insult that wi I'll try to beat

that combination an Incorruptible

telephone operator and a woman with an

unlisted telephone number and a raing

beauty damn it come on you have to put

that in a safe dep posit box at the p

puges National

Bank my God they'll Chuck me over board

there's a periscope out there

Periscope it's off the St

bar I don't see a thing where the hell

is it look there that's a port bow idiot

well whatever it is God help us we're

dead right I'll take the

wheel give me those glasses where is it

no on the on the um the the port

bow if we're blown up everybody get a

bit of wreckage and cling to it that's

hilarious wait a

minute I've got it

what an incredible piece of camouflage

it looks exactly like a shark fin

they're Kev Devils I give them

that it's a shark Mr MERS oh oh is that

all you can say oh sorry you

know sorry I prefer

o damn

fool 6 days each week of government

bureaucracy taxes the mind in the body

to the limits of endurance yes it's very

good of you to see me senor monter not

at all now you want to enjoy your day

offer my time is limited so may we drop

the

formalities as you wish I want you to

use your influence to persuade the

governor to have a reception among the

invited guests will be every port

official from marag Goa and the officers

from every ship at anchor in the harbor

you will on the same night arrange a

carnival which will attract the crews of

all the

ships well

you mentioned my

sons yes I can arrange that your sons

continue to enjoy their schooling in

India and that their fees are paid

directly into a bank there yes or

no a wise

decision the invitations have already

been printed the date is March the 8th

the time 2100 hours what is your reason

for this seor that is a question you do

not ask it is simply a display of your

country's hospitality and

neutrality now these are for your

immediate use I'm sure your list of

expenses will be very imaginative oh one

more thing I'd hate like hell to see

anything go wrong for your sake and the

children

[Music]

I don't know what comes first the hello

the apology or the explanation none of

them excuse me well I ow you at least

two out of three

please how's Hamlet damn

it I prefer not to make a scene here why

don't we sit

[Music]

down how is ham look I don't appreciate

it some wine champagne

Lely later

hello Mrs crom and I can't tell you how

sorry I am that's

true I find all that sh

unbearable quite truthfully so do I the

best I can do is apologize if you would

accept that we could

talk it was an

ugly incident you killed a man as so one

lastely he was about to kill us both

you've done it before haven't

you yes I was an officer in the Army for

a while and then the Bengali police made

me a better offer and now you're a t-

merchant

yes I didn't like being a police

officer and I don't wander around

killing

people well next you're going to accuse

me of killing the poor unfortunate owner

of this place it had crossed my

mind Mrs crumel I really would much

rather talk about you and possibly even

me you know it wouldn't take a great

deal for me to fall in love with

you no

comment all right I have

one why don't we pick up where we left

off be exceptionally wary of each other

and see what

develops no

comment yet

[Music]

why in Mrs

Crum whose deal is it

yours did you order us a beer

yes I wonder why they ask us if we could

swim but one thing for certain this is a

damn side better than thumping around

the coast in that dirty old bucket py

bre

awful bloody saor you know suffers

helled Nelson Nelson Admiral Nelson you

fool you know England

expects uh over here

chaps gentlemen if they've been lucky

the Phoebe should be outside coach and

haror tomorrow night and will'll be off

on a lovely sundrenched Cruise

you'll each receive a boarding schule

and detailed instructions please

memorize them and Destroy them no others

to carry any letters or documents which

might associate him with the LI horse

tomorrow you will each go separately to

the bazaar and buy two bottles of

whiskey which you will keep in your

luggage

unopened you to be packed and ready by

1700

hours I can't give you any details on

the operation itself until we're safely

at

Sea any

questions

good if any of you might be thinking of

getting SLE

tonight splended I expect

to and the briefing

for shot

offs ell

Noor English yeah yes

Sor you perhaps wish something we can

give you anything you should desire

anything your house yes seor all clean

girls and all

beautiful I have an unusual request uh

nothing is strange here Senor many years

ago I was a sailor now I am a rich man

but always a seller in your heart I

understand you wish something special

yes I would like to give every sailor in

the port a gift to celebrate my good

fortune in life

now you will tell every nationality of

sailor in the harbor that for three days

Thursday Friday Saturday they can come

to this street and do with girls at no

cost Oh What a Beautiful Thing You Do

sir I'm glad you think so now can we

agree price please come

Senor you this is exceedingly

odd I hardly know anything about you I

don't know way you live I don't even

know your phone number you didn't have

to all we've done is enjoy each

other I am falling in love with you Mrs

cwall I'll go better than

that I

have Gavin I don't want to go home now

but I'm going

to all right I'll take you no

I still can't know where you live not

until I understand how I

[Music]

feel I'd like to get dressed

now you do love me

give me time to think I promise to call

you

[Music]

they're the last two Come Along come

along sorry Sandy we got held up

come

in Jack how was your second visit with

your friendly wh house keeper said every

saor is all about it as he was taking

the rest of the money he called me a

true benefactor of all and Seaman

rather appropriate play on words don't

you think I also his lifelong friend for

whom he'd shed blood and Brandy that's

what he shed the Brandy didn't he that

he did Jack why don't you go to your

room and lie down with it I mean there's

nothing else to be done

how's going to I may even pray a bit

where are you going I'm talking you

praying to church the phone call I was

waiting for for two days finally came

through I'm glad to hear you and so was

I did you say Church

[Music]

yes about you

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Gavin who are youo

[Music]

I need a table will you bring that up

here for me

please now

then we're on the last lap of our little

trip so I can now give you our

destination and tell you what we're

going to do when we get there we're

headed for the neutral Port of marag

Goa in that port at Ang

is a German ship the Aron felds our

job is to seize that

ship hold her

down or sink her where she is also in

that Port are two other German ships so

if we can knock them off at the same

time so much the

better but first de here is her deck

plan study it very carefully and then

I'll deal with any question bill yeah

we've got problems what's wrong the main

bearing is

overheating can you do anything about it

only if I stop the engine it's a

question of dismantling the bearing and

fitting a new shell if I

can how long would it take 2 to three

hours and sir I said if I can yes I

heard you Charlie well can we keep going

as it is not for long

all right stop your engine see what you

can

do we desperately needed

that have a little the way not

much carry

on

now on the for deck here

I didn't want to push my luck on the

telephone to wire church I didn't want

to make you in a cafe again or in an

hotel

room no coming I'm glad you called

I don't know whether I am or not I just

know I'm afraid to trust my own feelings

which

are terribly

confused I'm afraid I don't understand

try we can start tonight at the governor

General's

party you mean the governor general of

G why would he invite me to a party I

didn't even know the governor general

I'm sure it's

mutual I'm

invited would you take

me all right I'll take you

9:00 21 to K

Street now you have my

address the progress is

astonishing are we leaving you are alone

please well I am available of the

day conversation only tea plers

onor 9:00

[Music]

well that may do it and it may not 2 and

1 half hours all right let's find out

ready to move

bill right

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

what can you get out of it at full speed

six kns maybe seven try 10

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

that's your turn send

[Music]

good under Hill limpid Mines attach

magnetically to the hell of the

ship below the water line they work on a

preset timer you mean this uh this knob

here yes that's right now Finley you'll

take the dragen fs Sloan you take the

brfs right

[Music]

Jack

oh

for sen your Stuart yes good even sir

please thank

you please sit

down Mrs Cromwell shall be ready soon

yes not good English excuse

[Music]

[Music]

where is

[Music]

he thanks to Charlie

Wilton we should be alongside the

arinell Zone scheduled by 0100

hours I don't have to tell you how

crucial this operation is or how many

Allied lives it might

save our cover story once again we are

businessmen on holiday we rented this

old tub in Bombay sailed down to Goa for

the fun of it and on a drunken dare

boarded the Aon ferals of course

authentic drunken businessmen seldom run

about with machine guns should any of

you find yourselves in a tight spot if

it's the last thing you do throw your

guns over the side if any of you have to

swim for it you know the location of

cart rides Beach Jack will be there

waiting for you Charlie you remain

aboard to nurse the engine sir that's an

order

Charlie yes

sir

sir Charlie you really do have a way

with words

John you'll stay at the wheel no

arguments can I say as well sir if

you like all right let's open up the

whiskey one big Swig now and no more

until further

orders Cheers Cheers

[Music]

hey you

[Applause]

[Music]

than

[Music]

excuse me your Excellency Gavin Stewart

had of Bombay limited a Mr Stewart how

nice to see you darling may I present Mr

chur a pleasure M and my daughter Teresa

andina and Mrs crumble Mrs crumble and I

already know each other as a matter of

fact with your permission sir I am going

to steal her away from you please do

enjoy yourself thank

you

sure look absolutely

beautiful don't blame you for being

angry I wouldn't have waited for me

either I can't begin to

apologize don't be silly it's

accepted where were you well you won't

believe me it's really a sort of tragedy

of

Errors first of all puncturing in the

middle of nowhere then I nearly ripped

the sleeve of my jacket off trying to

change the wheel a Mad Dash to find a

replacement jacket which doesn't f so I

see and naturally they're still not

giving out your phone number and finally

when I got to 31 to GMA Street there was

no one at home

Gavin it's 21 not

31 there you are I am an idiot agreed

it's rather nice one I'd left by then

anyway I called your hotel they said

you'd gone out quite

early how did you get in here without an

invitation and I'm glad well I uh

crossed the major Doo's

pal shocking now to show you the stuff

I'm really made

of I'd like to apologize properly

first I'd like to kiss you Mrs

crumble night pad

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

lipstick doesn't become

here get me

[Music]

[Music]

would you care to join up

and I assume you've seen nothing am I

correct start

laughing laugh

[Music]

[Music]

you'll remember your children senel

[Applause]

[Music]

all right take your

weapons any problems no sir

Mr card buried there

sir take my car and park it near the

hotel will you yes sir are you all right

sir yes fine thanks

there we are the first of Gavin's

brilliant

diversions never had a moment's doubt

mean well I did if we'd relied on this

campass it might have went up in the

Grand

Canyon what a lovely sight reminds me of

Brighton when I was about 10 years old

Dicky I find it hard to believe that you

were ever 10 years

old

gentlemen Mr Finley Mr slan time to get

ready right

sir if any of you have any final

questions now would be a splendid time

when do we get another drink sir right

now as a matter of fact I want each of

you to take another big swallow just one

next rinse your mouse thoroughly with

whiskey and spit it out then take what's

left and pour it over your clothing all

of it sir all of it I want every man

here to smell like a distiller all right

get on with

it anybody got any soda

I didn't mean to do that I swear

it this is the noblest sacrifice of all

fumes alone are getting me Tiddly you

may save your second bottle for our

celebration on the way up to Bombay

when we

board I want no firing unless it's

absolutely

necessary should anything unpleasant

happen and we sustain dead or wounded

they are not to be left aboard the Aon

felds nor any

equipment nothing which could identify

us as

British when I blow this whistle three

times everybody off

immediately you'll

do take your stations all weapons loaded

safety catches on

check our

watches when you set your minds remember

give us 30 minutes that's still not much

time you surprise me Yi will have all

the time in the world now do get on with

it you're the boss Lewis my God your

breath is awful

[Music]

sing

might as well won't help me see in the

dark it

Yogi come mind

for

Wonder hell

after your silence come on here move

come

on hey B

hands up

[Music]

silence Sandy come with me you two stay

here right

this

way come here babe

[Music]

stay where you are not a

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

I'm glad we not staying on

ballet come on let's go

[Music]

[Music]

you hold on blow this one

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

is it bad I think I'm still standing oh

we found it Bill get everyone organized

to leave Sandy look after Yogi come on

let's go B come on Y in here with

me the code books get them on board the

Phoebe hurry right

got it done the leave

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

God my fault Bill never mind that get

our the heibe quick and the Germans have

the after Deck with the others

back on the PB everybody back on the PB

[Music]

damn fools I mean why don't they hurry

[Music]

up good God

L get them on the Fe

go Williams

son look after

d let put those with the others Bon L

move

it turn around I'll be watching you from

the top deck make no mistake I'll shoot

the first man who moves

[Music]

where is loveof second deck

[Music]

wardrobe rabbit

[Music]

RIT B take these refs

[Music]

[Music]

I'll

everyone over the side the ship is going

to blow

[Music]

up Eng

[Music]

[Music]

a

[Music]

[Music]

push

off C push

off

better

okay

Char Bill don't stand above get us

underway

[Music]

right

right get some

below help me

[Music]

up no I'm all

right get out here F down somewhere

there may not be anything to lie down on

those timers aren't that accurate

Charlie give me an answer I'm

working you better have

this I'm not tell this will put pay to

my polo for a bit you'll be playing polo

with some Peter if this ship goes

up friend help

[Music]

somebody what the hell's gone wrong I'm

Waking very hard

Billy how long you got on those Minds

couple of minutes maybe

well hold your breath

[Music]

he's are up to full speed h

[Music]

keep going

[Music]

[Music]

up good God

[Music]

me

[Music]

[Music]

poor

[Music]

Devils they

I I wouldn't know how to begin to thank

you and the light

I have a feeling they'll be thanking you

I know I am

the captain

foreign

foreign

foreign for