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3
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[social worker] We have
a new member of the group.
4
00:00:13,501 --> 00:00:16,170
She was diagnosed as stage four
a month ago.
5
00:00:16,171 --> 00:00:18,505
This is Molly, and I warned her
6
00:00:18,506 --> 00:00:21,108
that the stage four group
is kind of a wild bunch.
7
00:00:21,109 --> 00:00:23,477
Is there anything you wanted
to discuss with the group?
8
00:00:23,911 --> 00:00:28,115
So, I actually was wondering
if anyone had any tips
9
00:00:28,116 --> 00:00:30,151
for how to keep dating
and having sex?
10
00:00:31,152 --> 00:00:34,088
I left my husband when
I found out I was stage four,
11
00:00:34,089 --> 00:00:35,623
and I've been having sex.
12
00:00:35,624 --> 00:00:38,225
And I actually thought
the sex would be better,
13
00:00:38,226 --> 00:00:40,227
but I'm starting to worry
it might just be me.
14
00:00:40,228 --> 00:00:43,664
I guess I was wondering
if anyone knows
15
00:00:43,665 --> 00:00:47,602
how to tell a stranger
you just met on the internet
how to make you come?
16
00:00:49,404 --> 00:00:50,404
Um
17
00:00:53,441 --> 00:00:55,276
Maybe you're with the wrong man.
18
00:01:10,725 --> 00:01:13,227
Come here. You look beautiful.
19
00:01:13,228 --> 00:01:16,264
[Molly] Who's this group?
Do they have fun cancer?
20
00:01:18,733 --> 00:01:21,502
Early stagers.
Stage one, two and three.
21
00:01:22,136 --> 00:01:26,173
They don't wanna see us.
We're scary, like ghosts.
22
00:01:26,174 --> 00:01:27,341
Ooh.
23
00:01:27,875 --> 00:01:31,145
[group leader] Cookies are
reserved for amazing women only.
24
00:01:31,146 --> 00:01:32,813
So everyone.
25
00:01:32,814 --> 00:01:36,217
[Molly] They look so happy.
Oh, she's getting laid.
26
00:01:37,685 --> 00:01:38,753
Fuck it.
27
00:01:40,288 --> 00:01:42,323
[patient 1] Boom.
Instant serotonin.
28
00:01:44,792 --> 00:01:46,093
[group cheering, clapping]
29
00:01:46,094 --> 00:01:47,394
- Hey.
- [group leader] Yes!
30
00:01:47,395 --> 00:01:50,131
That mind-body
connection is real.
31
00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:53,767
That stress and pain that we
carry around from our childhood,
32
00:01:53,768 --> 00:01:55,703
that's what cancer feeds off of.
33
00:01:55,704 --> 00:01:59,106
A positive attitude
can help fight cancer.
34
00:01:59,107 --> 00:02:00,641
[patient 2] Yes!
35
00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:03,510
[Molly] Yes. I need to be
happier, more positive.
36
00:02:03,511 --> 00:02:06,313
That's how I'm gonna start
having really good sex.
37
00:02:06,314 --> 00:02:09,817
I need to be one of those
fully realized women who has
sex while wearing jewelry.
38
00:02:09,818 --> 00:02:11,819
Long, dangly earrings.
39
00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:14,755
I wanna be so emotionally
stable that I make eye contact
40
00:02:14,756 --> 00:02:16,490
every moment a man
is inside me.
41
00:02:17,592 --> 00:02:19,260
Like, even during doggy style.
42
00:02:19,894 --> 00:02:22,096
I feel like I'm just
gonna surround myself
43
00:02:22,097 --> 00:02:24,765
- with light and joy
and positivity.
- Mmm. Yes.
44
00:02:24,766 --> 00:02:26,667
- Like, I feel good.
- Mm-hmm.
45
00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:29,270
But you lied
to a cancer support group.
46
00:02:29,271 --> 00:02:30,671
- No.
- Yes.
47
00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,806
I just didn't tell them
everything.
48
00:02:32,807 --> 00:02:34,075
[phone vibrates]
49
00:02:35,076 --> 00:02:39,380
It's been a good first month.
I feel healthy,
and I'm having sex,
50
00:02:39,381 --> 00:02:43,317
- which is what I wanted.
- Yeah. Yes.
But you're not having orgasms.
51
00:02:43,318 --> 00:02:47,488
Oh, no, I am. I just do, like,
a little buzz buzz
after they leave.
52
00:02:47,489 --> 00:02:49,757
- Uh-huh.
- I take my orgasm to go.
53
00:02:49,758 --> 00:02:53,661
Like a come doggie bag.
Using a vibrator.
54
00:02:53,662 --> 00:02:54,595
[singsongy] Yes.
55
00:02:57,131 --> 00:03:01,635
But seriously, you never
had an orgasm with Steve?
For ten years?
56
00:03:01,636 --> 00:03:04,405
- No. No, like,
I would get close.
- Mm-hmm.
57
00:03:04,406 --> 00:03:06,373
Like, you know when it feels
like a little sneeze?
58
00:03:06,374 --> 00:03:08,075
Like [imitates sneeze]
59
00:03:09,477 --> 00:03:11,646
- I don't I'm not sure
- [imitates sneeze]
60
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,281
- No?
- No, I haven't felt that.
61
00:03:14,282 --> 00:03:15,816
[chitters]
62
00:03:15,817 --> 00:03:17,685
- I'd like to try that.
Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.
63
00:03:18,153 --> 00:03:20,287
- No.
- Oh, my God. I can't with you.
64
00:03:20,288 --> 00:03:22,122
You can just, like,
always come from sex.
65
00:03:22,123 --> 00:03:24,659
I like a good old-fashioned
dick in vagina.
66
00:03:26,127 --> 00:03:28,095
- I'm a real Penetration Patty.
- [sighs]
67
00:03:28,096 --> 00:03:30,498
[sighs] I just can't.
Like, every time I get close,
68
00:03:30,999 --> 00:03:34,435
it's like somebody throws
a blanket on my brain
and the light goes out.
69
00:03:34,436 --> 00:03:36,503
And then I'm just,
like, not there.
70
00:03:36,504 --> 00:03:38,505
[footsteps approaching]
71
00:03:38,506 --> 00:03:41,142
- Okay, Molly.
- Here we go.
72
00:03:46,347 --> 00:03:47,781
[Nikki] Are you walking weird?
73
00:03:47,782 --> 00:03:50,217
No. Stop watching me walk.
74
00:03:53,287 --> 00:03:55,155
I know how you walk,
and that is not how you walk.
75
00:03:55,156 --> 00:03:57,358
Now I am walking weird
because you're watching me.
76
00:03:57,359 --> 00:04:00,127
No, I'm not.
I don't care how you walk.
Oh, my God. Get over yourself.
77
00:04:01,562 --> 00:04:03,497
- Okay, so--
- She's walking weird.
78
00:04:03,498 --> 00:04:06,700
- [Nikki] Hi.
- What? No, I'm I'm doing great.
79
00:04:06,701 --> 00:04:09,503
Okay. I-I don't know what
"walking weird" means.
80
00:04:09,504 --> 00:04:13,173
It means
I've seen her walk before,
and now she's walking different.
81
00:04:13,174 --> 00:04:15,242
Well, any other symptoms
that have come up?
82
00:04:15,243 --> 00:04:18,512
Um, yes. Insomnia, hot flashes
83
00:04:18,513 --> 00:04:21,315
and vaginal dryness
during intercourse.
84
00:04:21,316 --> 00:04:22,783
[Molly] I am, yes.
85
00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,785
[in Scottish accent]
A wee bit dry. [chuckles]
86
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:26,621
A wee bit dry in my vagina.
87
00:04:27,055 --> 00:04:31,158
Oh, my God. Did I just pretend
my vagina has a Scottish
accent?
88
00:04:31,159 --> 00:04:33,093
Okay, Sonya,
you wanna take this?
89
00:04:33,094 --> 00:04:34,362
- It's a mental health issue.
- Yeah.
90
00:04:34,863 --> 00:04:38,365
How is having a dry vagina
a mental health issue?
91
00:04:38,366 --> 00:04:41,102
Well, it's be--
You know, women, you know
92
00:04:41,703 --> 00:04:44,171
Emotional feelings.
93
00:04:44,172 --> 00:04:46,674
It's so common.
I have some really fun lube
options that I can offer you.
94
00:04:46,675 --> 00:04:49,143
Would you like some?
Slick, slick, slick.
95
00:04:49,144 --> 00:04:50,277
Yes, yes, yes.
96
00:04:50,278 --> 00:04:51,279
[Dr. Pankowitz chuckles]
97
00:04:51,747 --> 00:04:54,148
Check, please.
Waiter, get me out of here.
98
00:04:54,149 --> 00:04:56,083
Moving on.
99
00:04:56,651 --> 00:04:59,687
Okay, so we're going
into full attack mode.
100
00:05:00,155 --> 00:05:03,290
Your numbers are holding
on leuprolide and letrozole,
101
00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:04,659
so I'm gonna add Ribociclib.
102
00:05:05,227 --> 00:05:08,762
And I am supposed to
have a licensed clinical
social worker check in
103
00:05:08,763 --> 00:05:11,165
to see if you are mentally fit,
104
00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:16,770
because palliative care
is just such an important part
of our team. Huh?
105
00:05:16,771 --> 00:05:18,806
And I I believe that.
106
00:05:18,807 --> 00:05:21,375
Okay, but just so that you have
all the information,
107
00:05:21,376 --> 00:05:25,512
this combination
of medicine can really
cause your mood to change.
108
00:05:25,513 --> 00:05:27,114
Feelings can become amplified.
109
00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:32,086
[Molly] This is it.
It's gonna happen tonight.
110
00:05:33,021 --> 00:05:36,724
You know, I almost never
take elevators 'cause I'm trying
to bulk up my calves.
111
00:05:42,263 --> 00:05:44,365
[groans] This fucking guy.
112
00:05:44,732 --> 00:05:46,467
[elevator dings, doors open]
113
00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:53,440
Stay positive.
Focus on your date.
114
00:05:53,441 --> 00:05:56,477
He's 25,
he smells like bar soap.
115
00:05:57,045 --> 00:05:58,812
You're both
wearing cool jackets.
116
00:05:58,813 --> 00:06:00,714
What is that taco?
Why does it smell so bad?
117
00:06:00,715 --> 00:06:03,183
Hi, I'm Molly. I moved in
across from you last month.
118
00:06:03,184 --> 00:06:06,220
I wrote you a note about
eating food in the elevator.
Did you get it?
119
00:06:06,888 --> 00:06:08,089
I did.
120
00:06:16,397 --> 00:06:18,799
'Cause I would just really love
to keep our shared spaces clean.
121
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,669
It just really helps me to
Mentally.
122
00:06:30,345 --> 00:06:32,380
Joy and light. Joy and light.
123
00:06:32,881 --> 00:06:34,615
Fucking joy and fucking--
124
00:06:40,488 --> 00:06:42,756
[console chimes]
125
00:06:42,757 --> 00:06:44,725
[loud TV sounds]
126
00:06:45,226 --> 00:06:47,628
I'm sorry.
My neighbor plays video games.
127
00:06:48,296 --> 00:06:51,065
It's cool. It's like we're
making out in a battlefield.
128
00:06:51,799 --> 00:06:53,200
Uh, sort of.
129
00:06:54,535 --> 00:06:55,736
I like to keep my bra on.
130
00:06:57,271 --> 00:06:58,505
You're amazing.
131
00:06:58,506 --> 00:07:00,407
I am amazing and
you're amazing,
132
00:07:00,408 --> 00:07:02,643
and I'm a fully-realized,
emotionally-stable woman.
133
00:07:02,644 --> 00:07:05,279
And you don't have any hair
on your balls, and let's fuck.
134
00:07:13,421 --> 00:07:14,522
Can I touch you?
135
00:07:17,258 --> 00:07:20,228
Okay, it doesn't have to
be weird. Make it sexy.
136
00:07:22,130 --> 00:07:23,798
Is that hand sanitizer?
137
00:07:24,733 --> 00:07:29,236
Oh, no, it's lube. Okay.
It's a lot. Do we need all that?
138
00:07:29,237 --> 00:07:30,671
- Yes.
- Okay.
139
00:07:41,449 --> 00:07:44,685
Talk to me.
Tell me what you like.
Tell me what you want.
140
00:07:44,686 --> 00:07:48,189
Stay connected. Eye contact.
Like a normal--
141
00:07:49,257 --> 00:07:51,626
[high-pitched ringing]
142
00:07:55,530 --> 00:07:56,597
[ringing fades]
143
00:08:00,268 --> 00:08:03,237
I don't know. What do--
What do you like?
144
00:08:03,671 --> 00:08:06,407
Um, clasp my balls?
145
00:08:09,143 --> 00:08:10,511
I can clasp your balls.
146
00:08:12,547 --> 00:08:15,283
Uh, um, clasp.
147
00:08:15,684 --> 00:08:19,420
Am I tugging down,
or, like, a loose handshake
with your balls?
148
00:08:21,122 --> 00:08:22,089
Clasp.
149
00:08:22,590 --> 00:08:23,791
- Clasp.
- No.
150
00:08:24,259 --> 00:08:26,093
- Clasp?
- Clasp?
151
00:08:26,094 --> 00:08:27,294
[shower running]
152
00:08:27,295 --> 00:08:29,130
[running stops]
153
00:08:31,332 --> 00:08:32,466
[gasps] Oh.
154
00:08:35,336 --> 00:08:39,373
I'm sorry, I know you, right?
I know you, right?
155
00:08:39,374 --> 00:08:42,643
Yeah. You live here?
I shower here.
156
00:08:42,644 --> 00:08:45,479
- I knew you from the shower.
- That's right.
That's how we met.
157
00:08:51,419 --> 00:08:53,621
I'm sorry we haven't been having
a lot of sex.
158
00:08:54,222 --> 00:08:57,625
I just I feel like I always
smell like the hospital.
159
00:08:58,159 --> 00:09:00,328
I'm just worried about you.
160
00:09:00,896 --> 00:09:04,465
That's all.
Like, are you really okay?
161
00:09:08,269 --> 00:09:11,805
I can't actually talk about it.
Let's just have sex.
162
00:09:11,806 --> 00:09:15,209
- Oh. Oh. Oh, wow. Oh, gosh.
- I know, babe.
163
00:09:15,576 --> 00:09:17,311
[Nikki] You're just
164
00:09:17,312 --> 00:09:19,546
- You're dressed
so slutty. Sorry.
- Okay, I'm--
165
00:09:19,547 --> 00:09:22,182
- Hold on.
I actually wanna talk about it.
- No.
166
00:09:22,183 --> 00:09:25,119
- Like, we don't
have to have sex.
- Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes, we do.
167
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:26,420
- Okay. Okay.
- Yes, we do.
168
00:09:40,568 --> 00:09:42,770
Hello. This is Patricia.
Thank you for holding.
169
00:09:42,771 --> 00:09:44,371
Please provide your
case number.
170
00:09:44,372 --> 00:09:46,140
- What the fuck?
- I'm
171
00:09:47,408 --> 00:09:50,377
I'm on hold with Molly's
insurance company.
172
00:09:50,378 --> 00:09:52,780
- Hello? Can I help you?
- This whole time?
173
00:09:52,781 --> 00:09:54,782
It usually takes 45 minutes.
Wait. Hold on.
174
00:09:54,783 --> 00:09:57,451
- Is someone there?
- I'm here, ma'am.
175
00:09:57,452 --> 00:10:00,254
Can you just rub your dick
until I'm done? It won't take
that long. Or I can rub it.
176
00:10:00,255 --> 00:10:02,156
I can rub it while I do this.
177
00:10:02,157 --> 00:10:04,458
Excuse me? Is this a prank
call? Are you a prankster?
178
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:08,629
I'm not a prankster, okay?
I'm talking to my boyfriend.
Just grow up.
179
00:10:08,630 --> 00:10:10,631
Ma'am.
180
00:10:10,632 --> 00:10:11,565
- I'll finish in the bathroom.
It's okay.
- Please don't--
181
00:10:11,566 --> 00:10:12,733
I love you. Okay. Bye.
182
00:10:13,501 --> 00:10:20,608
- Hello. Case number
"J8329390YM."
- Hello.
183
00:10:22,276 --> 00:10:24,478
- Do you mind clasping
- Fuck.
184
00:10:34,122 --> 00:10:36,657
No, that's the taint.
Come on, get your shit
together.
185
00:10:39,394 --> 00:10:40,394
Uh, clasp.
186
00:10:41,596 --> 00:10:44,632
- No. Clasp.
- Do you mean cup?
187
00:10:44,633 --> 00:10:46,601
No, clasp.
188
00:10:46,968 --> 00:10:49,303
What if I push them
inside you and move you
around like a puppet?
189
00:10:49,304 --> 00:10:51,538
Why don't we get
the vacuum cleaner
and suck your balls up into it?
190
00:10:51,539 --> 00:10:53,307
Why don't I sit on them
or kick them?
191
00:10:53,308 --> 00:10:55,776
That's hot. I'd kick you
in the fucking balls.
192
00:10:55,777 --> 00:10:58,379
- Clasp.
- My shoulder hurts.
193
00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:01,115
- Can you stop saying "clasp"?
- Well
194
00:11:01,816 --> 00:11:04,518
you're not saying anything.
Tell me what you want.
195
00:11:04,519 --> 00:11:05,786
Tell me what feels good.
196
00:11:07,121 --> 00:11:08,456
I told you, I don't know.
197
00:11:09,024 --> 00:11:11,192
How do you not know
what feels good?
198
00:11:11,993 --> 00:11:14,495
I'm sorry. It's just,
the people I have sex with,
199
00:11:14,496 --> 00:11:16,664
they tell me what they like
and what feels good.
200
00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:21,101
Especially older women,
and that's one of
the reasons why I--
201
00:11:21,102 --> 00:11:22,203
Leave.
202
00:11:31,479 --> 00:11:34,682
[sighs] I'm sorry.
I just wanted you to cla
203
00:11:40,288 --> 00:11:42,356
[vibrator vibrating]
204
00:11:42,357 --> 00:11:44,625
[panting, grunting]
205
00:11:51,432 --> 00:11:52,466
[neighbor moaning]
206
00:11:55,136 --> 00:11:56,203
[moaning continues]
207
00:11:58,339 --> 00:11:59,640
[vibrator stops]
208
00:12:00,241 --> 00:12:04,812
What's happening?
He's jerking off
'cause I'm jerking off?
209
00:12:04,813 --> 00:12:06,246
That's basically a crime.
210
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:07,514
[neighbor, moaning continues]
211
00:12:07,515 --> 00:12:09,250
[vibrator starts]
212
00:12:09,684 --> 00:12:11,085
Oh, no.
213
00:12:13,321 --> 00:12:16,057
He hates me. He hates himself.
214
00:12:16,858 --> 00:12:19,293
And he's probably got guacamole
on his hands.
215
00:12:19,294 --> 00:12:21,329
[Molly, moaning intensifies]
216
00:12:36,144 --> 00:12:37,411
[console chimes]
217
00:12:38,313 --> 00:12:40,114
[videogame sounds]
218
00:12:40,481 --> 00:12:41,616
[vibrator stops]
219
00:12:46,554 --> 00:12:47,621
It was a mistake.
220
00:12:47,622 --> 00:12:49,457
A mistake orgasm?
221
00:12:49,991 --> 00:12:51,792
What is a mistake orgasm?
222
00:12:51,793 --> 00:12:54,828
He's disgusting. He wanted me
to hear him jerking off.
223
00:12:54,829 --> 00:12:56,830
Totally.
And you were also jerking off.
224
00:12:56,831 --> 00:12:59,667
I came so hard I think
I pulled a stomach muscle.
225
00:12:59,668 --> 00:13:01,635
That's That's beside the point.
226
00:13:01,636 --> 00:13:04,505
How did it
make you feel afterwards?
That's the main question.
227
00:13:04,906 --> 00:13:06,807
Did you feel good?
228
00:13:06,808 --> 00:13:09,510
It was like a full marching
band in my pants.
229
00:13:09,511 --> 00:13:10,745
It was a mistake.
230
00:13:13,448 --> 00:13:15,616
Okay, I'm ready.
231
00:13:17,218 --> 00:13:20,655
Let's take intense
mood-altering drugs that may
or may not turn my poop black.
232
00:13:25,259 --> 00:13:27,094
Let's enjoy it.
233
00:13:27,095 --> 00:13:28,429
Yeah.
234
00:13:28,430 --> 00:13:30,097
Find your joy!
235
00:13:30,098 --> 00:13:31,131
Yeah!
236
00:13:31,132 --> 00:13:32,500
Fuck, yeah!
237
00:13:34,602 --> 00:13:39,507
We're literally not
even on step one.
238
00:13:41,576 --> 00:13:43,277
[crying] I hate it.
239
00:13:43,278 --> 00:13:45,646
It's not even a coffee table.
240
00:13:45,647 --> 00:13:47,515
It doesn't bring
the space together.
241
00:13:55,556 --> 00:13:57,725
Course you're awake too,
you sad fuck.
242
00:13:58,259 --> 00:14:01,362
What are you wearing?
Your little basketball shorts.
243
00:14:01,363 --> 00:14:04,498
I can see the hair poking out
from the hole in your T-shirt.
244
00:14:04,499 --> 00:14:07,568
Bet you shed like a dog.
I hate everything about you.
245
00:14:07,569 --> 00:14:09,470
There's trash on the floor.
246
00:14:12,607 --> 00:14:13,774
Look!
247
00:14:19,814 --> 00:14:23,551
You think you can just
make a mess and expect that
other people will clean it up?
248
00:14:25,853 --> 00:14:27,088
Yeah.
249
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:30,491
Pick it up.
250
00:14:36,731 --> 00:14:41,369
Oh, my God.
You're doing what I say.
251
00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:56,217
Now say, "I'm disgusting."
252
00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:00,354
I'm disgusting.
253
00:15:08,129 --> 00:15:09,130
Say it again.
254
00:15:11,666 --> 00:15:12,800
I'm disgusting.
255
00:15:16,437 --> 00:15:18,205
[door opens]
256
00:15:20,541 --> 00:15:21,776
[door closes]
257
00:15:30,551 --> 00:15:32,753
- [neighbor moaning]
- [vibrator starts]
258
00:15:40,261 --> 00:15:41,629
- Oh, stop it!
- [vibrator stops]
259
00:15:41,630 --> 00:15:42,663
[moaning stops]
260
00:15:42,664 --> 00:15:44,065
Stop it.
261
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,501
[neighbor] Please.
Please can I come?
262
00:15:48,836 --> 00:15:50,805
No!
263
00:15:59,847 --> 00:16:01,616
You were strong.
264
00:16:06,387 --> 00:16:10,357
I know. I know, I know.
Listen, my friend has cancer
and I'm taking care of her.
265
00:16:10,358 --> 00:16:13,093
I swear, like, when I don't
have anywhere to be,
266
00:16:13,094 --> 00:16:14,728
the appointment
does start on time,
267
00:16:14,729 --> 00:16:17,364
and when I do have
somewhere to be, it takes hours.
268
00:16:17,365 --> 00:16:20,534
And I can't complain to her
because she is terminally ill,
269
00:16:20,535 --> 00:16:25,506
which is worse than
being late for rehearsal,
I feel like. Right?
270
00:16:25,507 --> 00:16:28,442
Your performance today is
271
00:16:39,721 --> 00:16:43,424
Is that
Would that be a dead bird?
272
00:16:44,392 --> 00:16:45,593
Yeah. I get it.
273
00:16:47,562 --> 00:16:49,196
Please don't fire me.
274
00:16:51,366 --> 00:16:52,499
[chuckles]
275
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:54,502
Oh, I'm feeling these drugs.
276
00:16:54,903 --> 00:16:58,172
I don't think anyone can tell.
I think I look normal.
277
00:16:58,706 --> 00:17:02,643
I thought we could all
talk a little about
our cancer journeys.
278
00:17:03,444 --> 00:17:06,514
- When I started
my cancer journey
- [Molly chuckling]
279
00:17:10,852 --> 00:17:12,086
Sorry.
280
00:17:13,254 --> 00:17:14,222
I just
281
00:17:15,190 --> 00:17:17,625
When you say "cancer journey"
it just I'm sorry.
282
00:17:17,626 --> 00:17:20,027
It just makes it sound
like it's a really fun trip.
283
00:17:21,396 --> 00:17:22,763
No.
284
00:17:26,134 --> 00:17:28,035
Why don't you
speak to your journey?
285
00:17:28,436 --> 00:17:32,373
I got cancer, and then
it was gone for two years.
286
00:17:32,374 --> 00:17:36,344
And then it came back
as stage four.
287
00:17:38,780 --> 00:17:40,514
Shit.
288
00:17:40,515 --> 00:17:44,485
Sorry. I didn't tell you guys
I'm stage four
289
00:17:44,486 --> 00:17:47,054
'cause I wanted
to be in this group.
290
00:17:47,055 --> 00:17:51,358
Anyway, the whole time that
I thought that I was healthy,
my body was just like
291
00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:55,229
like, waiting to give me
more cancer. [chuckles]
292
00:17:55,230 --> 00:17:57,631
Uh, that's my cancer journey.
293
00:17:57,632 --> 00:18:01,035
Molly, I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna have to ask you
to leave the group.
294
00:18:01,736 --> 00:18:03,804
- What?
- What's happening to you
295
00:18:03,805 --> 00:18:06,073
is their worst fear.
296
00:18:07,275 --> 00:18:08,442
Mine too.
297
00:18:09,143 --> 00:18:13,047
What if we've gone
through all this,
and the cancer comes back?
298
00:18:14,148 --> 00:18:15,182
Hey.
299
00:18:20,121 --> 00:18:23,724
Joy and light.
Fucking joy and fucking light.
300
00:18:35,536 --> 00:18:36,604
[Molly groans]
301
00:18:37,672 --> 00:18:39,507
Pick up your fucking trash!
302
00:18:39,941 --> 00:18:41,709
What the fuck is wrong with you?
303
00:18:42,610 --> 00:18:45,246
Are you gonna go back inside
and jerk off to this?
304
00:18:46,681 --> 00:18:47,715
Yeah.
305
00:18:51,653 --> 00:18:52,653
Let me watch.
306
00:19:00,395 --> 00:19:02,096
- [door closes]
- Take off your clothes.
307
00:19:04,265 --> 00:19:07,735
- Why do you have this?
- I work in city government
for 311.
308
00:19:09,404 --> 00:19:10,605
Touch your dick.
309
00:19:15,243 --> 00:19:17,611
- Can I get some lotion?
- You do what I say.
310
00:19:17,612 --> 00:19:18,646
Okay.
311
00:19:21,282 --> 00:19:23,084
Yeah, you should
get some lotion.
312
00:19:29,157 --> 00:19:30,458
What else should I do?
313
00:19:33,428 --> 00:19:35,062
You like this?
314
00:19:35,063 --> 00:19:37,231
- Yeah. I like it.
- Did I say you can fucking talk?
315
00:19:44,505 --> 00:19:45,506
Is this your dad?
316
00:19:47,508 --> 00:19:50,411
How did such an attractive man
produce such a
sack of shit like you?
317
00:19:50,412 --> 00:19:53,214
That's not my dad.
That's Bill de Blasio.
318
00:19:55,817 --> 00:19:57,484
Is his dick as boring as yours?
319
00:19:57,485 --> 00:19:58,786
More.
320
00:19:59,220 --> 00:20:02,122
You like it when I talk about
your little medium-sized dick?
321
00:20:02,123 --> 00:20:04,625
Look at the way
you're jerking off.
Your pinky is out.
322
00:20:05,026 --> 00:20:08,195
You think your dick is fancy?
That sucks.
323
00:20:08,596 --> 00:20:13,067
I hate that. I want to hit you
and kick you in the dick
and destroy you.
324
00:20:14,535 --> 00:20:17,338
Do it. Do it. Kick me.
325
00:20:17,939 --> 00:20:20,508
Do it. Kick me in the dick.
326
00:20:22,276 --> 00:20:23,344
Please.
327
00:20:37,492 --> 00:20:40,361
[screams] Shit!
328
00:20:41,262 --> 00:20:43,230
[neighbor] Oh, God. [groans]
329
00:20:43,231 --> 00:20:44,465
[Molly groans]
330
00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:47,435
What Are you okay?
331
00:20:48,703 --> 00:20:50,204
Is that part of this?
332
00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:51,505
[Molly screams]
333
00:20:54,876 --> 00:20:59,546
treatment with leuprolide, letrozole,
334
00:20:59,547 --> 00:21:02,182
- and she just
started Ribociclib--
- We gave her morphine.
335
00:21:02,183 --> 00:21:04,118
It's not fucking working!
336
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:06,387
- I don't think it's working.
- The hormones she's on
337
00:21:06,388 --> 00:21:10,224
- can amplify
what she's already feeling.
- Really? That's so interesting!
338
00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:12,626
Fucking bastard!
Get me a fucking doctor!
339
00:21:12,627 --> 00:21:15,496
- I am a doctor.
- Then why are you so young?
340
00:21:16,731 --> 00:21:20,134
I don't want this virgin
on my cancer journey!
341
00:21:20,668 --> 00:21:22,803
- She doesn't mean that.
- I do! I really do!
342
00:21:22,804 --> 00:21:25,339
- She does mean that.
- I'm gonna page palliative care.
343
00:21:25,807 --> 00:21:27,642
Excuse I'm
344
00:21:30,545 --> 00:21:33,247
I don't know
what to do right now.
I don't know how to help you.
345
00:21:33,248 --> 00:21:35,616
- Help me!
- Okay.
346
00:21:38,286 --> 00:21:41,422
Can I get another doctor?
Do you Who else do you have?
347
00:21:41,423 --> 00:21:44,358
Like, I need, like, a doctor,
like an older doctor-doctor.
348
00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:46,794
- You can't choose
your own doctor.
- [groans] Yeah. I can.
349
00:21:46,795 --> 00:21:49,363
- You can't choose
your own fucking doctor.
- What are you doing?
350
00:21:49,364 --> 00:21:51,699
- Hey. Can you see my friend?
- Of course.
351
00:21:51,700 --> 00:21:53,834
Oh, thank you so much.
Why don't you take
some fucking notes?
352
00:21:53,835 --> 00:21:55,636
Here.
353
00:21:55,637 --> 00:21:57,738
Hi, is there anything I can do
to make your day better?
354
00:21:58,606 --> 00:22:00,775
Please, please help me.
355
00:22:01,542 --> 00:22:02,610
Okay.
356
00:22:11,552 --> 00:22:15,256
- Are you a clown?
- Oh, my God.
You're the hospital clown.
357
00:22:15,257 --> 00:22:17,525
- Yeah. It's on my jacket.
- Get out. Get out.
358
00:22:19,260 --> 00:22:22,597
Why does it hurt this much?
Did I kick his dick off?
359
00:22:25,466 --> 00:22:27,535
Hey, hey. Look at me.
Take a breath.
360
00:22:28,169 --> 00:22:31,606
The best thing you can do
for Molly is to breathe. Yeah.
361
00:22:32,007 --> 00:22:35,643
I'm fine. This is not about me.
I just-- I got I fucked it up.
362
00:22:35,644 --> 00:22:38,178
I fucked up and I got
the fucking clown doctor.
363
00:22:38,179 --> 00:22:39,347
Have you been drinking?
364
00:22:40,248 --> 00:22:43,717
I got fired from my job, and I
went and I drank a whole lot,
365
00:22:43,718 --> 00:22:46,820
but don't worry about me.
Can you just please help her?
366
00:22:46,821 --> 00:22:49,790
- Please, please, please, please.
- Okay. Drink that.
367
00:22:50,825 --> 00:22:52,059
Molly?
368
00:23:04,672 --> 00:23:09,109
I told them that
she was in pain, and it was like
they did not even hear me.
369
00:23:09,110 --> 00:23:11,211
And you're white.
370
00:23:11,212 --> 00:23:14,248
Black women say
they're in pain and they
give them some red Jell-O.
371
00:23:14,249 --> 00:23:15,849
That's why I do this.
372
00:23:15,850 --> 00:23:19,219
Pain is political.
Pleasure is political.
373
00:23:19,220 --> 00:23:21,322
You know, don't get me started.
374
00:23:21,323 --> 00:23:24,058
[Nikki]
I want to get you started,
and I want you to never stop.
375
00:23:24,059 --> 00:23:25,126
[Sonya chuckles]
376
00:23:36,304 --> 00:23:37,371
Hi.
377
00:23:40,208 --> 00:23:41,576
Are you in any pain?
378
00:23:43,678 --> 00:23:45,046
No.
379
00:23:47,849 --> 00:23:51,218
Okay, the doctor came in
while you were sleeping.
380
00:23:51,219 --> 00:23:56,156
And you have a fracture
in your femur,
381
00:23:56,157 --> 00:24:00,327
and they think
that it's probably because
the cancer in your hip
382
00:24:00,328 --> 00:24:02,096
has spread a little bit.
383
00:24:06,868 --> 00:24:08,802
You said I was walking weird.
384
00:24:08,803 --> 00:24:11,239
Yeah, I know how baby walks.
385
00:24:11,807 --> 00:24:16,076
I also want you to know
that they are gonna
put a rod in your leg
386
00:24:16,077 --> 00:24:20,214
to prophylactically stabilize
the femur bone.
387
00:24:20,682 --> 00:24:23,117
They're gonna come in and
go over all of this with you.
388
00:24:25,286 --> 00:24:27,121
They're going to put
a rod in my leg?
389
00:24:27,122 --> 00:24:29,390
Yeah, I know. I know.
390
00:24:31,326 --> 00:24:32,693
Oh, Molly.
391
00:24:34,729 --> 00:24:36,330
It's my fault.
392
00:24:37,865 --> 00:24:40,367
You know,
I tried so hard to be positive
393
00:24:40,368 --> 00:24:44,305
but I'm just like a naturally
fucked-up, negative person,
and it's my fault.
394
00:24:44,306 --> 00:24:46,340
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No.
395
00:24:47,675 --> 00:24:50,444
Cancer doesn't care
if you're a positive person.
396
00:24:50,978 --> 00:24:54,415
Positive, wonderful, beautiful
people die all the time.
397
00:24:56,784 --> 00:25:00,321
It's my stupid, fucked-up,
broken body. I hate it.
398
00:25:00,722 --> 00:25:02,490
I got cancer twice.
399
00:25:03,391 --> 00:25:06,427
I can't even have normal orgasms
from normal sex.
400
00:25:06,428 --> 00:25:10,398
Normal sex?
Who decides what that means?
401
00:25:11,299 --> 00:25:12,300
Just tell them.
402
00:25:15,236 --> 00:25:18,606
I made my neighbor
jerk off in front of me
403
00:25:18,607 --> 00:25:21,575
while I said truly
horrible things about his penis
404
00:25:21,576 --> 00:25:23,244
and then I kicked him
in the dick.
405
00:25:25,279 --> 00:25:26,347
And I loved it.
406
00:25:26,348 --> 00:25:30,518
Yes. Amazing. Yes! Yes. Yes.
407
00:25:31,486 --> 00:25:33,120
Why is that amazing?
408
00:25:33,121 --> 00:25:35,723
Because you figured out
something that you want.
409
00:25:35,724 --> 00:25:39,160
No. I don't want to have to
hurt people to have orgasms.
410
00:25:39,827 --> 00:25:41,128
I
411
00:25:42,096 --> 00:25:43,330
What is wrong with me?
412
00:25:43,331 --> 00:25:44,498
Nothing.
413
00:25:44,499 --> 00:25:45,733
Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.
414
00:25:45,734 --> 00:25:47,468
Nothing the fuck
is wrong with you.
415
00:25:47,469 --> 00:25:50,437
You early millennials
are so tragic.
416
00:25:50,438 --> 00:25:55,243
You know, you think sex is just
penetration and orgasms. Why?
417
00:25:57,545 --> 00:25:59,213
Because that's
what Samantha said.
418
00:26:00,348 --> 00:26:01,682
Sex
419
00:26:03,217 --> 00:26:04,652
Sex is a wave.
420
00:26:05,753 --> 00:26:09,557
You know, sex Sex is a mindset.
421
00:26:10,158 --> 00:26:14,762
Sex is the nonlinear
emergent phenomenon
422
00:26:14,763 --> 00:26:18,165
that arises when
two or more beings
423
00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:21,435
they touch energy fields.
424
00:26:21,969 --> 00:26:24,104
Here's the thing
about your body:
425
00:26:24,105 --> 00:26:25,406
you have to listen to it.
426
00:26:25,874 --> 00:26:28,542
Yes, maybe it's saying something
that you don't want
427
00:26:28,543 --> 00:26:30,377
and you don't understand,
428
00:26:30,378 --> 00:26:34,649
but give it a chance
and listen to it. Both of you.
429
00:26:36,351 --> 00:26:38,218
Here. Here's my card.
430
00:26:38,219 --> 00:26:40,154
I want you to call me whenever.
431
00:26:40,755 --> 00:26:42,156
Thanks.
432
00:26:42,157 --> 00:26:43,591
Sleep well.
433
00:26:47,562 --> 00:26:49,630
You kicked him in the dick?
434
00:26:49,631 --> 00:26:51,766
[♪ The Earth Won't
Hold Me plays]
435
00:26:54,569 --> 00:26:59,773
♪ I get so tall on being me ♪
436
00:26:59,774 --> 00:27:05,613
♪ Oh, I am joy, I am a song
There is no place
I don't belong ♪
437
00:27:06,114 --> 00:27:11,586
♪ And now the earth
can't hold me
The earth will never hold me ♪
438
00:27:11,953 --> 00:27:17,658
♪ I know the earth won't hold
me While I want to live ♪
439
00:27:19,594 --> 00:27:24,732
♪ I follow walls
that lead to space ♪
440
00:27:24,733 --> 00:27:31,238
♪ I tumble into what I say
I track the dark
and find the day ♪
441
00:27:31,239 --> 00:27:36,510
♪ And now the earth
can't hold me
The earth will never hold me ♪
442
00:27:36,511 --> 00:27:43,150
♪ I leap into the moving sun ♪
443
00:27:43,150 --> 00:27:48,150
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444
00:27:43,150 --> 00:27:53,150
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