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DOWNLOADED FROM WWW.AWAFIM.TV
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[Molly] What was his name?
Was it Bradley? No.
3
00:00:13,034 --> 00:00:17,371
Paul? T.J.? No, nobody's name is T.J.
4
00:00:18,039 --> 00:00:19,540
[moans, echoing]
5
00:00:19,623 --> 00:00:22,793
We were in our 20s and it was like
he couldn't stop going down on me.
6
00:00:23,294 --> 00:00:24,503
Maybe he was hungry.
7
00:00:25,212 --> 00:00:27,173
Stop. Stop thinking about that. Stop it.
8
00:00:27,715 --> 00:00:29,967
Be here with Steve. What did he just say?
9
00:00:30,593 --> 00:00:32,178
I guess I'm a feminist?
10
00:00:33,095 --> 00:00:35,222
I'm the only male journalist
at the magazine
11
00:00:35,306 --> 00:00:36,932
that the female editors want to work with.
12
00:00:37,016 --> 00:00:40,227
I mean, it-it's fucked.
Journalists can be monsters.
13
00:00:40,311 --> 00:00:43,355
Overworked, underpaid,
the burden of knowing too much.
14
00:00:43,439 --> 00:00:46,901
-I'm sorry, I think we got off topic.
-No, it connects. I'm trying to make a…
15
00:00:46,984 --> 00:00:47,985
[sighs]
16
00:00:48,069 --> 00:00:51,655
All right. I get… I'm confused,
like, when I get interrupted.
17
00:00:51,739 --> 00:00:55,743
Anyway, so yeah, I just think there's
a little bit of a double standard here.
18
00:00:55,826 --> 00:00:58,120
Molly and I haven't had
an active sex life in years.
19
00:00:58,204 --> 00:01:01,207
Since Molly's breast cancer diagnosis?
20
00:01:01,290 --> 00:01:05,002
Yeah. I mean, we weren't having much se…
much sex when you got cancer, so…
21
00:01:05,086 --> 00:01:07,963
[Molly] Because you said my bald head
made you think about your dad.
22
00:01:08,047 --> 00:01:09,048
[Steve speaking, muffled]
23
00:01:09,131 --> 00:01:11,926
But you don't have to
take care of me now. I'm healthy.
24
00:01:12,426 --> 00:01:13,719
I just want you to want me.
25
00:01:14,345 --> 00:01:16,263
Please. Please.
26
00:01:16,347 --> 00:01:19,892
And it's like, now she wants to again,
and I'm the bad guy
27
00:01:19,975 --> 00:01:23,562
'cause I just can't flip a switch
and suddenly be Mr. Sex?
28
00:01:26,774 --> 00:01:27,775
What?
29
00:01:28,275 --> 00:01:30,111
[chuckles] Mr. Sex?
30
00:01:31,487 --> 00:01:35,116
Uh, Mr. Sex probably doesn't refer
to himself as Mr. Sex
31
00:01:35,199 --> 00:01:36,784
if he's actually Mr. Sex.
32
00:01:36,867 --> 00:01:38,119
[chuckles]
33
00:01:38,202 --> 00:01:39,912
Anyways… [sighs]
34
00:01:41,163 --> 00:01:45,751
Look, I know my wife. She's had
a really complicated history with sex.
35
00:01:47,670 --> 00:01:51,423
And I don't think… I don't think
this is actually what you want.
36
00:01:51,507 --> 00:01:55,553
I think there's some confusion here
as to what you want.
37
00:01:56,137 --> 00:01:58,305
[therapist] Molly, do you feel confused
about what you want?
38
00:01:58,389 --> 00:02:00,975
-You wanna have sex with Steve?
-To have sex, yes.
39
00:02:02,268 --> 00:02:03,269
[Molly] Shit.
40
00:02:03,352 --> 00:02:04,478
With Steve.
41
00:02:04,562 --> 00:02:06,689
But this isn't an authentic desire.
42
00:02:06,772 --> 00:02:08,357
-It's the medication.
-Tamoxifen.
43
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,609
Yeah, the drug that
prevents the cancer from returning.
44
00:02:10,693 --> 00:02:14,363
A side effect is decreased libido,
but Molly's body is, like, an anomaly
45
00:02:14,446 --> 00:02:16,782
-and it increased hers.
-That's not a side effect.
46
00:02:16,866 --> 00:02:19,118
Okay, but it is.
Dr. Pankowitz said it's the meds.
47
00:02:19,201 --> 00:02:20,911
Dr. Pankowitz is your doctor, Steve?
48
00:02:20,995 --> 00:02:22,246
-Molly's.
-Mine.
49
00:02:22,329 --> 00:02:23,998
[phone rings]
50
00:02:26,041 --> 00:02:29,503
I put my phone in the technology tray,
like we're supposed to.
51
00:02:30,254 --> 00:02:32,339
-You can just turn it off.
-Sorry, it's the hospital.
52
00:02:32,423 --> 00:02:33,841
I just, um…
53
00:02:33,924 --> 00:02:36,427
It's that hip thing I had checked…
It's, uh… I'm gonna take this.
54
00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:39,138
You can just put him on speaker.
Molly, put him on speaker.
55
00:02:39,221 --> 00:02:40,973
-Hello?
-Can you put him on speaker?
56
00:02:41,056 --> 00:02:42,892
-[doctor] Molly, is this a good time?
-Uh, yes.
57
00:02:42,975 --> 00:02:46,645
Okay. I have the results
of the biopsy on your hip
58
00:02:46,729 --> 00:02:48,647
and, um, unfortunately…
59
00:02:50,774 --> 00:02:53,527
-[Molly] Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
-[horns honking]
60
00:02:53,611 --> 00:02:55,362
[pedestrian]
Watch where you're fucking going!
61
00:02:55,446 --> 00:02:56,989
[siren wailing]
62
00:02:57,823 --> 00:03:00,034
-[panting, moaning]
-[kisses]
63
00:03:00,993 --> 00:03:02,786
[bell rings]
64
00:03:04,413 --> 00:03:06,540
[♪ pop song plays on speakers]
65
00:03:11,086 --> 00:03:14,173
[rapid panting, moaning]
66
00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:16,091
[Molly] Fuck.
67
00:03:25,184 --> 00:03:27,436
-[siren wailing in distance]
-[pedestrians chattering]
68
00:03:31,065 --> 00:03:32,107
[vehicle approaching]
69
00:03:32,191 --> 00:03:33,859
-[engine rumbles]
-[lighter clicking]
70
00:03:35,027 --> 00:03:39,031
-Hey, baby. You need a ride somewhere?
-Hi.
71
00:03:39,114 --> 00:03:41,367
[Molly] Is this what it feels like
to push someone off a cliff?
72
00:03:41,450 --> 00:03:42,701
I'm sorry, were you busy?
73
00:03:42,785 --> 00:03:44,328
Uh, I'm on my way to rehearsal.
74
00:03:45,246 --> 00:03:48,123
Are you smoking cigarettes?
What is that, menthols?
75
00:03:48,207 --> 00:03:51,335
Oh, my God. Who are you?
Are you my camp boyfriend?
76
00:03:52,253 --> 00:03:53,254
What is this?
77
00:03:55,297 --> 00:03:59,260
You know how I had
that pain in my hip that wouldn't go away?
78
00:03:59,343 --> 00:04:00,219
Uh-huh.
79
00:04:00,302 --> 00:04:01,303
It's cancer.
80
00:04:03,681 --> 00:04:04,682
[sighing] It's back.
81
00:04:11,689 --> 00:04:12,690
But you…
82
00:04:14,441 --> 00:04:16,277
-It's been two years.
-I know.
83
00:04:16,986 --> 00:04:18,904
And you did everything
that the doctor said,
84
00:04:18,988 --> 00:04:20,781
-and you took all of their drugs…
-I know.
85
00:04:21,991 --> 00:04:23,867
-…and this is still… Hmm.
-It's not fair.
86
00:04:23,951 --> 00:04:26,161
I don't want to die just when
I'm getting used to my new boobs.
87
00:04:26,245 --> 00:04:27,830
Stop. You're not gonna die.
88
00:04:29,456 --> 00:04:33,919
I am, actually.
It, um, metastasized to my bones.
89
00:04:34,712 --> 00:04:36,588
-Mmm.
-It's incurable.
90
00:04:37,172 --> 00:04:39,174
[birds chirping]
91
00:04:41,552 --> 00:04:43,595
[sobbing] Can you just give me one second?
I'm so, so sorry.
92
00:04:44,471 --> 00:04:46,390
-Hey.
-[sobs] I'm sorry, I'm…
93
00:04:46,473 --> 00:04:48,350
Babe, it's okay. It's okay.
94
00:04:48,434 --> 00:04:51,437
No, I feel like it's just gonna
get a little bit bigger. Just let me…
95
00:04:52,021 --> 00:04:53,397
[retches, cries]
96
00:04:54,356 --> 00:04:57,609
I… Just kidding. I'm fine! [chuckles]
97
00:04:59,862 --> 00:05:01,322
-Y-You are?
-No.
98
00:05:01,405 --> 00:05:03,824
-Oh, my God! What the fuck?
-Sorry. I don't know why I said that.
99
00:05:03,907 --> 00:05:06,076
-What the fuck?
-I'm not doing a very good job with this.
100
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,370
-What are you doing? What is it?
-I don't know how to do this!
101
00:05:08,454 --> 00:05:10,289
I don't know how to tell you
that I'm going to die!
102
00:05:10,372 --> 00:05:12,374
Yeah, you're bad at this!
This is a bad way to tell me!
103
00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:14,084
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
104
00:05:14,168 --> 00:05:15,461
-[crying] Oh, God.
-[sighs]
105
00:05:16,712 --> 00:05:18,088
You look so nice.
106
00:05:18,172 --> 00:05:21,675
Like, if you're dying, like, why are you
fucking weirdly vibing right now?
107
00:05:21,759 --> 00:05:23,302
-Like, glowing from within right now.
-[chuckles]
108
00:05:23,385 --> 00:05:25,763
-Is this your natural inner radiance?
-[chuckling] I don't know.
109
00:05:25,846 --> 00:05:28,849
-I'm so fucking confused, overstimulated.
-What is this? Is she drunk?
110
00:05:28,932 --> 00:05:31,352
-No. No. I just told her that I'm dying.
-What? No, I'm not drunk.
111
00:05:31,435 --> 00:05:34,480
-I'm human having human emotions.
-Why is her crying so loud?
112
00:05:34,563 --> 00:05:36,732
[strained] This is how I cry!
113
00:05:36,815 --> 00:05:39,693
She's an actress. Her emotions
live very close to the surface.
114
00:05:39,777 --> 00:05:41,403
Huh? Leave!
115
00:05:41,487 --> 00:05:43,197
-Go!
-No, I won't do that.
116
00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:44,990
My friend is a paying customer!
117
00:05:45,074 --> 00:05:46,909
She bought this fucking weird
fucking soda from you.
118
00:05:46,992 --> 00:05:49,953
-Yeah, I did. Good Value Diet Soda.
-Okay, that's nice.
119
00:05:50,037 --> 00:05:51,413
But that doesn't give you the right
120
00:05:51,497 --> 00:05:53,749
to stand outside my store
and scream like a lunatic!
121
00:05:53,832 --> 00:05:56,585
Don't come out here and tell
two people in a private conversation…
122
00:05:56,668 --> 00:05:58,253
-[both yelling, muffled]
-[Molly] Look at her.
123
00:05:58,337 --> 00:06:00,714
-No. She's nice. You're not so nice.
-Do not fucking talk about her!
124
00:06:00,798 --> 00:06:05,469
[Molly] Not afraid. Everything out
in the open. I love this woman.
125
00:06:05,552 --> 00:06:08,097
-[♪ whimsical music playing]
-[mouthing] Oh, my God.
126
00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:09,807
[no audible dialogue]
127
00:06:18,857 --> 00:06:20,275
I'm having a normal reaction,
128
00:06:20,359 --> 00:06:23,654
and a deep experience that I don't even
wanna fucking be having!
129
00:06:23,737 --> 00:06:26,490
-So go inside!
-The hell is… What the…
130
00:06:29,201 --> 00:06:30,536
-Fine.
-Mm-hmm.
131
00:06:30,619 --> 00:06:32,121
-Stay.
-Cool.
132
00:06:32,204 --> 00:06:34,081
Just shut the fuck up! Please!
133
00:06:34,164 --> 00:06:35,666
-[music fades out]
-[sniffles]
134
00:06:35,749 --> 00:06:37,584
[door opens, closes]
135
00:06:40,379 --> 00:06:42,798
-He said we can stay.
-Yeah. No, I heard.
136
00:06:43,382 --> 00:06:47,344
You have to try this soda.
The aftertaste is unbelievably bad.
137
00:06:51,932 --> 00:06:54,476
-Oh, it's junk.
-I know. I can't stop drinking it.
138
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:55,853
It's very bad.
139
00:06:57,146 --> 00:06:58,439
When did you find out?
140
00:06:59,231 --> 00:07:00,315
Twenty minutes ago.
141
00:07:00,399 --> 00:07:02,776
-What?
-In the middle of couples therapy.
142
00:07:02,860 --> 00:07:05,070
-[doctor] Molly, is this a good time?
-Uh, yes.
143
00:07:05,154 --> 00:07:08,782
Okay. I have the results
of the biopsy on your hip
144
00:07:08,866 --> 00:07:12,453
and, um, unfortunately it is not
what we had hoped for… [distorts]
145
00:07:12,536 --> 00:07:16,498
[Molly] It didn't feel real. I couldn't
even hear what the doctor was saying.
146
00:07:16,582 --> 00:07:20,794
I didn't feel sad, I just saw myself
as a seven-year-old, dancing.
147
00:07:21,670 --> 00:07:25,007
And this seven-year-old version of myself
was being so mean to me.
148
00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:26,633
[♪ classical music plays, muffled]
149
00:07:26,717 --> 00:07:28,135
She was really a jerk.
150
00:07:28,802 --> 00:07:30,137
[grunts, distorted]
151
00:07:30,637 --> 00:07:31,638
She knew.
152
00:07:32,139 --> 00:07:34,183
She knew what I'd done with my life
and was mad about it.
153
00:07:35,017 --> 00:07:38,187
She knew that Steve didn't touch me
anymore, and she got so sad.
154
00:07:38,270 --> 00:07:40,814
Because I think that she could see
that I've spent my whole life
155
00:07:40,898 --> 00:07:42,232
being scared of what I feel.
156
00:07:42,316 --> 00:07:44,735
And I was so fucking pissed at her
at this point.
157
00:07:45,527 --> 00:07:47,488
And also, she's a terrible dancer.
158
00:07:47,571 --> 00:07:49,364
[music fades out]
159
00:07:51,283 --> 00:07:53,285
I got off the phone and I told Steve,
160
00:07:53,368 --> 00:07:57,331
and he gave me
this look of, like, pity, or…
161
00:07:57,831 --> 00:07:59,875
I don't know. It wasn't pity, it was like…
162
00:08:01,043 --> 00:08:02,169
I'll call the hospital.
163
00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:04,755
We're gonna get through this.
164
00:08:04,838 --> 00:08:05,839
[Molly] Excitement.
165
00:08:05,923 --> 00:08:08,675
Oh, fucking Steve!
I wanna shove him into a bush.
166
00:08:08,759 --> 00:08:11,303
If I'm sick,
then everything is so simple between us.
167
00:08:11,386 --> 00:08:12,387
Yeah.
168
00:08:12,471 --> 00:08:15,849
He's the caretaker and the martyr,
and I'm his patient.
169
00:08:15,933 --> 00:08:17,267
-Mm-hmm.
-And that means he won't touch me.
170
00:08:17,351 --> 00:08:19,728
Oh, my God. Can he not see you?
171
00:08:19,811 --> 00:08:22,356
If he doesn't wanna touch you,
then, like, he's not well.
172
00:08:22,439 --> 00:08:26,693
But I… Like, I support your marriage.
Obviously, I support your marriage.
173
00:08:26,777 --> 00:08:28,445
So I'm standing there,
and I'm looking at him,
174
00:08:28,529 --> 00:08:29,446
-and then all of a sudden…
-Uh-huh.
175
00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:33,951
…I get this flash of a memory
of this guy who went down on me in my 20s.
176
00:08:34,034 --> 00:08:35,827
I did not think you were gonna say that.
177
00:08:35,911 --> 00:08:41,083
I mean, his head is in my hands. So vivid.
I can feel his hair in my fingers.
178
00:08:41,166 --> 00:08:43,335
-[friend] Oh, yes.
-[Molly] I mean, someone walked in on us.
179
00:08:43,418 --> 00:08:46,171
I never even finished,
but it was the best I've ever felt.
180
00:08:46,255 --> 00:08:48,215
-Yes.
-[Molly] And I just kept thinking,
181
00:08:48,715 --> 00:08:51,051
I don't wanna die without
ever feeling that way again.
182
00:08:51,134 --> 00:08:53,887
And then I run across the street
to this bodega.
183
00:08:55,055 --> 00:08:57,975
To this bodega?
Like, you ran from therapy to here? Like…
184
00:08:58,725 --> 00:09:01,520
Yeah. It's right there.
Oh, look. That's Dr. Anne.
185
00:09:01,603 --> 00:09:03,855
-Oh, my God. What is she saying?
-[Molly] I don't know.
186
00:09:03,939 --> 00:09:07,651
-"Are you okay?" Are you okay?
-No, I'm very bad.
187
00:09:09,319 --> 00:09:11,905
Wait. Oh, my God.
She's getting Steve. Shoot. Hide me.
188
00:09:11,989 --> 00:09:13,073
-What?
-Hide me. [stammers]
189
00:09:13,156 --> 00:09:15,367
Oh, um… Hold on. Uh…
190
00:09:15,450 --> 00:09:17,160
I don't think
this is gonna give you what want.
191
00:09:17,244 --> 00:09:19,371
Oh, no. Oh, oh…
I mean, make another choice.
192
00:09:19,454 --> 00:09:21,707
-We have Steve. Steve's on the move.
-Okay. All right. Let's go.
193
00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:23,750
Where are we going? Just leave it.
194
00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:25,711
-[Steve] Don't leave!
-Here. Go, go, go. I got you.
195
00:09:25,794 --> 00:09:26,878
[Molly] Thank God he doesn't jaywalk.
196
00:09:26,962 --> 00:09:28,380
[friend] Oh, my gosh. Okay. Are you good?
197
00:09:28,463 --> 00:09:30,132
[Molly] Why am I so much bigger
than I thought I was?
198
00:09:30,215 --> 00:09:32,426
[Steve] Wait, wait, wait.
Just let me talk to you for a second.
199
00:09:32,509 --> 00:09:33,844
-[Molly] Drive! Nikki, please drive.
-All right.
200
00:09:33,927 --> 00:09:35,887
-He's getting closer. I can feel it.
-[Steve] Nikki, no! Nikki, no!
201
00:09:35,971 --> 00:09:38,181
-I don't have a fucking push start thing.
-[Molly] Oh, my God!
202
00:09:41,476 --> 00:09:43,895
-Like, I'll deal with it in a second.
-[Molly] Go up, twist, or…
203
00:09:43,979 --> 00:09:47,524
It just sticks.
Also, one other thing, just super quick…
204
00:09:47,608 --> 00:09:49,401
-Hey, hey, hey. Hi.
-Oh, my God.
205
00:09:49,484 --> 00:09:50,944
[both chuckle, kiss]
206
00:09:52,029 --> 00:09:52,988
Hold on just a sec.
207
00:09:53,071 --> 00:09:55,198
-Just don't tongue me down right now.
-Mmm. What? Oh.
208
00:09:55,991 --> 00:09:58,035
-I mean…
-Hi. Hi, Molly.
209
00:09:58,118 --> 00:09:58,952
-Hi.
-Hi.
210
00:09:59,036 --> 00:10:00,954
Sorry. Didn't see you there. [chuckles]
211
00:10:01,038 --> 00:10:02,414
[chuckling] Did Nikki
tell you that she moved in?
212
00:10:05,751 --> 00:10:06,585
Oh, yeah.
213
00:10:06,668 --> 00:10:08,045
-We're living in sin.
-Yeah.
214
00:10:08,128 --> 00:10:09,796
-Taking the plunge.
-[both chuckle]
215
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,298
-Yeah.
-Don't tell my grandma in Taiwan.
216
00:10:11,381 --> 00:10:12,382
[Nikki chuckles]
217
00:10:13,216 --> 00:10:15,802
-[rapid thudding]
-[breathes heavily]
218
00:10:17,763 --> 00:10:21,683
Your boobs are so relaxing.
They're like a cup of hot tea.
219
00:10:24,061 --> 00:10:28,023
[sighs] I'm sorry. He's playing Mahler's
Sixth with the phil tomorrow night.
220
00:10:28,106 --> 00:10:29,733
I'm playing Mahler's Sixth tomorrow!
221
00:10:29,816 --> 00:10:31,151
Don't ever ask him about Mahler
222
00:10:31,234 --> 00:10:33,403
because he starts whispering
in a really weird way.
223
00:10:33,487 --> 00:10:35,155
Are you telling her
how I'm horny for Mahler?
224
00:10:35,238 --> 00:10:36,657
[chuckles]
225
00:10:36,740 --> 00:10:40,035
You guys are living together already?
When were you gonna tell me?
226
00:10:41,286 --> 00:10:43,372
-I love him.
-You just met him.
227
00:10:43,455 --> 00:10:46,083
[chuckling] It's been, like,
three months. I think?
228
00:10:46,708 --> 00:10:48,794
-Is he being nice to you?
-Yes, he's being nice to me,
229
00:10:48,877 --> 00:10:49,836
and I'm being nice to him.
230
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,338
This is why I didn't want to tell you.
231
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,051
-[whispers] Sorry. Sorry.
-Please don't be weird.
232
00:10:56,134 --> 00:10:57,219
Just tell me to fuck off.
233
00:10:59,554 --> 00:11:00,555
Fuck off.
234
00:11:01,932 --> 00:11:04,559
It's good. It's different.
235
00:11:04,643 --> 00:11:10,315
He doesn't vampire off my self-esteem
or sell my shoes on the Internet.
236
00:11:11,316 --> 00:11:14,361
Noah's the most normal guy
that I've ever had amazing sex with.
237
00:11:14,444 --> 00:11:15,570
Look at that. Look at that.
238
00:11:15,654 --> 00:11:17,364
But you have amazing sex with everyone.
239
00:11:17,447 --> 00:11:18,365
[Nikki] Mmm.
240
00:11:18,448 --> 00:11:21,243
You once had an orgasm on the subway
just from listening to a podcast.
241
00:11:21,326 --> 00:11:23,161
-Yeah.
-Was it true crime?
242
00:11:23,245 --> 00:11:24,746
I think it was The Daily.
243
00:11:24,830 --> 00:11:26,415
[both chuckle]
244
00:11:29,418 --> 00:11:33,088
-Steve hasn't touched me in three years.
-What? No.
245
00:11:33,171 --> 00:11:35,757
How is that even possible?
I didn't know it was that long.
246
00:11:35,841 --> 00:11:37,801
I mean, my tits were full of cancer,
247
00:11:37,884 --> 00:11:40,804
and then with the chemo,
I had diarrhea for about a year.
248
00:11:40,887 --> 00:11:44,433
But still. Like, you're you. You.
249
00:11:45,684 --> 00:11:47,185
[phone rings]
250
00:11:47,269 --> 00:11:49,062
[Molly] Probably Steve.
251
00:11:49,146 --> 00:11:52,482
But the worst thing is he's gonna forgive
me for this because I'm his sad, sick,
252
00:11:52,566 --> 00:11:54,067
unfuckable wife.
253
00:11:54,151 --> 00:11:56,194
He's the one who's gonna save me.
254
00:11:56,278 --> 00:11:57,696
-[Nikki] There.
-[ringing continues]
255
00:11:57,779 --> 00:12:00,490
[Molly sighs] Not yet.
256
00:12:01,032 --> 00:12:02,659
Um, are you gonna tell Gail?
257
00:12:06,329 --> 00:12:07,789
[sighs] What's Noah's Wi-Fi?
258
00:12:07,873 --> 00:12:10,751
TimpaniTime45. Are you going to tell Gail?
259
00:12:10,834 --> 00:12:12,919
She's on a trip.
Can we make fun of that password, please?
260
00:12:13,003 --> 00:12:14,880
No. Where? Where is your mom on a trip?
261
00:12:14,963 --> 00:12:17,758
-She's north.
-You're lying.
262
00:12:17,841 --> 00:12:20,135
Yes, I am. Will you tell me
more about the play?
263
00:12:20,218 --> 00:12:23,680
No. No. Please don't do your thing.
Just talk to me.
264
00:12:25,265 --> 00:12:27,976
Why are you hiding from Steve?
265
00:12:30,604 --> 00:12:32,481
Why don't you wanna tell your mom?
266
00:12:32,564 --> 00:12:33,857
She loves you.
267
00:12:33,940 --> 00:12:36,026
-She's gonna need to know--
-Stop!
268
00:12:43,867 --> 00:12:44,868
I'm making you soup.
269
00:12:48,163 --> 00:12:51,208
-The good kind from the packet?
-Mm-hmm. I know what baby likes.
270
00:13:00,926 --> 00:13:03,720
[breathes sharply]
271
00:13:05,597 --> 00:13:06,598
[sobs]
272
00:13:10,185 --> 00:13:12,729
-[slurps]
-That is why I haven't called so much.
273
00:13:12,813 --> 00:13:15,857
It is this big Shakespeare production.
It's, like, this is it.
274
00:13:15,941 --> 00:13:17,734
This is what I've been hoping to do
275
00:13:17,818 --> 00:13:20,403
ever since I was a kid
pretending that I wasn't from New Jersey.
276
00:13:20,487 --> 00:13:22,739
It's not a big deal. Please,
you don't have to call me every day.
277
00:13:22,823 --> 00:13:25,450
No. It's not fine.
It's not. It's not fine.
278
00:13:25,534 --> 00:13:28,995
[Molly] You've been like this
since you were 22, you beautiful flake.
279
00:13:29,079 --> 00:13:32,582
I just… Yeah, I get
really caught up in work and…
280
00:13:33,375 --> 00:13:36,378
-What's that like?
-No. Fuck that.
281
00:13:36,461 --> 00:13:39,214
You do everything for Steve.
You organized his whole stupid book.
282
00:13:39,297 --> 00:13:41,007
It wasn't stupid.
It was a Pulitzer finalist.
283
00:13:41,091 --> 00:13:43,552
Well, nobody bought it
because it was so fucking depressing.
284
00:13:43,635 --> 00:13:45,679
Well, it wasn't supposed to be fun.
It was about climate change.
285
00:13:45,762 --> 00:13:48,306
Pfft. I couldn't shit
for a month after I read it.
286
00:13:48,390 --> 00:13:49,558
[Nikki giggles]
287
00:13:49,641 --> 00:13:51,017
I was too sad to shit.
288
00:13:52,227 --> 00:13:53,436
[door buzzes]
289
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,565
Okay, you know what? That's Steve.
290
00:13:57,274 --> 00:13:59,025
-He's been texting me.
-Not yet.
291
00:14:01,069 --> 00:14:02,070
[door buzzes]
292
00:14:02,988 --> 00:14:04,823
[teenager] Dad, get the door.
293
00:14:04,906 --> 00:14:07,576
Hi, Winter. Hi.
294
00:14:07,659 --> 00:14:09,244
This is Winter, Noah's daughter.
295
00:14:09,327 --> 00:14:12,706
She stays here on Wednesdays,
which is great.
296
00:14:12,789 --> 00:14:14,124
And, Winter, this is my friend Molly.
297
00:14:14,207 --> 00:14:15,208
-[door buzzes]
-Dad?
298
00:14:16,126 --> 00:14:17,586
-Yeah, look at my body right now.
-[Winter] Dad.
299
00:14:17,669 --> 00:14:19,546
I'm, like, afraid of her.
But she's really sweet.
300
00:14:19,629 --> 00:14:21,882
-[Noah] I didn't hear that.
-It's like I'm a dork. I am cool.
301
00:14:21,965 --> 00:14:23,049
-I am cool.
-[Noah] Okay.
302
00:14:23,133 --> 00:14:26,094
-Hi, wait. Hold on. Don't get the door.
-[Noah] Okay.
303
00:14:26,177 --> 00:14:27,929
-It's Steve. We're not doing that.
-[Noah] Oh.
304
00:14:28,013 --> 00:14:30,348
-Oh, did he cheat on you?
-No. She doesn't wanna talk about it.
305
00:14:30,432 --> 00:14:32,475
My cancer is back, and it's not curable.
306
00:14:32,559 --> 00:14:34,311
-[door buzzes]
-[whispers] Oh.
307
00:14:36,438 --> 00:14:39,608
-Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I had no idea.
-It's okay.
308
00:14:39,691 --> 00:14:41,276
-[Molly] No cancer pity face.
-[door opens]
309
00:14:42,277 --> 00:14:44,446
-[Steve] Molly.
-I let him in. What? What's happening?
310
00:14:44,529 --> 00:14:46,114
[Nikki groans]
311
00:14:46,197 --> 00:14:48,199
[Steve] Sorry to barge in
like this. I just--
312
00:14:48,283 --> 00:14:49,451
[Winter whispers] Is she dying of cancer?
313
00:14:49,534 --> 00:14:52,829
-[Noah] Oh, my God, baby, I don't think--
-All right, Molly, let's head out.
314
00:14:52,913 --> 00:14:55,415
[Molly] I forgot how hot he is
when he's mad and wearing a blazer.
315
00:14:55,498 --> 00:14:56,374
Hello? What's going on?
316
00:14:56,458 --> 00:14:58,376
I'm sorry. She's not dying of cancer.
It's just incurable.
317
00:14:58,460 --> 00:14:59,586
How is that different than dying?
318
00:14:59,669 --> 00:15:00,795
[Molly] Stop saying "dying."
319
00:15:00,879 --> 00:15:02,505
Is there any way
you could stop saying "dying"?
320
00:15:02,589 --> 00:15:03,632
Are you guys smoking in here?
321
00:15:03,715 --> 00:15:06,593
-[sighs] Are you smoking in here?
-[laughs]
322
00:15:06,676 --> 00:15:07,928
-Oh, come on.
-Who are these people, Dad?
323
00:15:08,011 --> 00:15:09,429
-Molly. Let's go.
-This is why I don't wanna live with you
324
00:15:09,512 --> 00:15:11,264
-and your random-ass girlfriend.
-[Molly] Whoa, yes.
325
00:15:11,348 --> 00:15:12,974
-[Noah] Nikki is not random-ass.
-[Nikki] No. I am random.
326
00:15:13,058 --> 00:15:14,893
-[Molly] Yes.
-This is happening fast, but I love her.
327
00:15:14,976 --> 00:15:16,269
We're drinking soda too? Great.
328
00:15:16,353 --> 00:15:18,313
[groans] I have to study for the PSATs.
I can't deal with cancer.
329
00:15:18,396 --> 00:15:20,523
-I think we should talk about it.
-I don't wanna talk about it.
330
00:15:20,607 --> 00:15:22,442
Smoking? And having
stressful emotional interactions.
331
00:15:22,525 --> 00:15:24,778
That's… This is perfect.
This is exactly what we need.
332
00:15:24,861 --> 00:15:25,695
Can we go?
333
00:15:25,779 --> 00:15:27,906
[Molly] Oh, you're so
disappointed in me. It's so hot.
334
00:15:27,989 --> 00:15:29,074
None of this is appropriate right now.
335
00:15:29,157 --> 00:15:31,368
[Molly] I'm always doing
the wrong thing and you hate it.
336
00:15:31,451 --> 00:15:34,204
It's a great environment
for you right now. [clears throat]
337
00:15:35,121 --> 00:15:36,247
Hey, Steve.
338
00:15:37,540 --> 00:15:38,541
Nikki.
339
00:15:45,048 --> 00:15:46,049
I called the hospital.
340
00:15:46,132 --> 00:15:48,593
They want you to meet
with a palliative care social worker
341
00:15:48,677 --> 00:15:50,387
after our appointment
with the doctor tomorrow.
342
00:15:50,470 --> 00:15:52,847
Just to help with some of these
big emotions you're having.
343
00:15:53,932 --> 00:15:55,016
[clears throat]
344
00:15:57,519 --> 00:15:58,520
We're done.
345
00:15:59,771 --> 00:16:01,231
Look at this. Can't even recycle it.
346
00:16:03,775 --> 00:16:04,818
I'm making you juice.
347
00:16:10,532 --> 00:16:12,200
You remember when you used to fuck me?
348
00:16:13,868 --> 00:16:15,370
Like, really fuck me?
349
00:16:17,872 --> 00:16:19,457
[sighs]
350
00:16:22,210 --> 00:16:24,170
You'd take me to parties
with all your friends,
351
00:16:24,254 --> 00:16:26,673
and you'd talk about books I never read.
[chuckles]
352
00:16:28,341 --> 00:16:30,593
And I'd get insecure,
and I'd pick a fight.
353
00:16:30,677 --> 00:16:31,845
You'd have to take me home.
354
00:16:33,263 --> 00:16:37,267
My priority right now
is keeping you alive as long as possible.
355
00:16:37,350 --> 00:16:38,810
[breathes deeply]
356
00:16:38,893 --> 00:16:42,063
Which means no caffeine,
no sugar, no green drink.
357
00:16:43,273 --> 00:16:44,315
[sighs]
358
00:16:44,399 --> 00:16:49,237
We're gonna start a food diary.
We're gonna set a bedtime.
359
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,947
-Molly. Molly!
-[panting]
360
00:16:52,991 --> 00:16:54,117
Do you not wanna live longer?
361
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,119
I wanna blow you.
362
00:16:56,911 --> 00:16:58,038
[whispers] Okay.
363
00:17:00,123 --> 00:17:03,460
[panting]
364
00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:06,880
[both moaning]
365
00:17:08,423 --> 00:17:10,633
[moaning continues]
366
00:17:26,107 --> 00:17:27,442
[moaning]
367
00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:32,489
[sobbing]
368
00:17:36,576 --> 00:17:37,744
-[sobbing] I'm sorry.
-[whispers] It's okay.
369
00:17:38,953 --> 00:17:40,914
-I'm sorry.
-It's okay.
370
00:17:44,084 --> 00:17:44,918
It's okay.
371
00:17:49,255 --> 00:17:50,090
It's okay.
372
00:17:50,173 --> 00:17:52,592
[Molly] What if that's
the last time I have sex?
373
00:17:53,510 --> 00:17:55,261
Half a blow job that made him cry?
374
00:17:55,345 --> 00:17:56,304
It's okay.
375
00:17:56,387 --> 00:17:59,390
-It's just your boobs.
-What?
376
00:17:59,474 --> 00:18:03,311
[sobbing] When I touch 'em,
it makes me think of the mastectomy,
377
00:18:03,394 --> 00:18:05,605
and then I think about losing you.
378
00:18:07,857 --> 00:18:10,235
-My boobs make you think about death?
-Yeah.
379
00:18:11,653 --> 00:18:14,614
I just don't understand,
like, what is this all about?
380
00:18:15,907 --> 00:18:19,536
Like, wha-what is
this need of yours to blow me?
381
00:18:20,203 --> 00:18:23,039
'Cause it's a little weird
considering what happened to you.
382
00:18:24,374 --> 00:18:27,210
I'm sorry, but just, like,
your childhood trauma…
383
00:18:29,712 --> 00:18:31,548
You say trauma like "traw-ma"?
384
00:18:31,631 --> 00:18:34,801
-It's a… W-What do you mean?
-Say it.
385
00:18:34,884 --> 00:18:35,969
-Trauma.
-"Traw-ma."
386
00:18:36,052 --> 00:18:37,887
Yeah. That's how you say it.
387
00:18:37,971 --> 00:18:41,224
Jesus! Fuck! I'm just saying, what I'm…
388
00:18:41,766 --> 00:18:44,102
The first time you got cancer,
it re-traumatized you.
389
00:18:44,185 --> 00:18:48,857
And then, like, this recurrence
is gonna probably add to the trauma.
390
00:18:50,108 --> 00:18:51,943
[sighs] You're just deflecting.
391
00:18:52,026 --> 00:18:54,445
You're deflecting,
and you can't even talk about it.
392
00:18:59,784 --> 00:19:03,163
My mom's boyfriend made me
give him a blow job when I was seven.
393
00:19:03,246 --> 00:19:05,707
-There. I talked about it.
-But you haven't processed it.
394
00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:08,793
-I don't… What does that mean?
-You know what it means.
395
00:19:08,877 --> 00:19:10,962
When do you know
that you've processed your childhood?
396
00:19:11,045 --> 00:19:12,255
You know what it means.
397
00:19:15,675 --> 00:19:17,510
[sighs]
398
00:19:22,515 --> 00:19:24,767
I have an interview
with CNN in ten minutes.
399
00:19:26,477 --> 00:19:28,313
I tried to reschedule it
but they wouldn't let me.
400
00:19:28,855 --> 00:19:29,689
[Molly] Who are you?
401
00:19:31,149 --> 00:19:32,525
Do you know anything about me?
402
00:19:34,027 --> 00:19:38,281
Um, can you get the interview with the…
with the family with the… with the baby?
403
00:19:38,364 --> 00:19:39,199
Yeah.
404
00:19:41,784 --> 00:19:45,371
[Molly] Did I do this?
Did I stop you from knowing me?
405
00:19:46,122 --> 00:19:48,374
Are you the last person
I'll see before I die?
406
00:19:48,458 --> 00:19:51,461
Is this sweater… Does it give me
a little pooch in the front?
407
00:19:54,172 --> 00:19:57,133
[Dr. Pankowitz] All right. Well.
408
00:19:58,009 --> 00:19:59,093
I, um…
409
00:20:00,345 --> 00:20:02,513
I just wanna say, I'm sorry. So…
410
00:20:02,597 --> 00:20:04,515
[Steve] Well, thanks, Dr. P.
Appreciate that.
411
00:20:04,599 --> 00:20:05,600
[Molly] Say something.
412
00:20:06,726 --> 00:20:08,436
[Steve, muffled]
I know we got a long road ahead.
413
00:20:08,519 --> 00:20:11,856
I guess I'm wondering how soon
you think you'll have a treatment plan.
414
00:20:11,940 --> 00:20:13,483
-[Dr. Pankowitz, muffled] Soon.
-[Molly] What do you want?
415
00:20:14,567 --> 00:20:15,777
What do you want right now?
416
00:20:17,362 --> 00:20:18,279
Well…
417
00:20:18,363 --> 00:20:21,574
[Molly] Say something. Say something.
418
00:20:21,658 --> 00:20:24,410
…possible for Molly
to come off the Tamoxifen now?
419
00:20:25,203 --> 00:20:27,830
-Yeah, we could do that.
-Side effects have been rough.
420
00:20:27,914 --> 00:20:30,166
-What side effects specifically?
-Stop it. Stop it. That's not…
421
00:20:31,292 --> 00:20:32,126
What?
422
00:20:34,003 --> 00:20:35,463
It's not yours to…
423
00:20:36,589 --> 00:20:37,465
-He's my doctor.
-[thud]
424
00:20:37,548 --> 00:20:38,549
-[Steve] Okay.
-Sorry.
425
00:20:38,633 --> 00:20:40,677
I think we're still reeling
from the stage four of it all.
426
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:41,928
-Stop it. Stop it.
-What?
427
00:20:42,011 --> 00:20:44,597
-It's my life. It's my death. It's mine.
-Okay.
428
00:20:49,852 --> 00:20:51,062
[sighs]
429
00:20:51,145 --> 00:20:53,356
-You know, maybe I should just--
-No, you can stay.
430
00:20:53,439 --> 00:20:54,357
Oh…
431
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,360
-Okay, are you trying to hurt me?
-No. It's not about you.
432
00:20:57,443 --> 00:20:59,529
This is about what I want.
This is about how I feel.
433
00:20:59,612 --> 00:21:02,907
And I wanna feel things.
[stammers] I want to feel things.
434
00:21:06,869 --> 00:21:08,246
[stammers] What does that even mean?
435
00:21:20,967 --> 00:21:22,427
I don't need to have this conversation.
436
00:21:26,389 --> 00:21:27,473
I don't need palliative care.
437
00:21:29,559 --> 00:21:30,768
I'm not gonna die tomorrow.
438
00:21:31,269 --> 00:21:36,983
Well, palliative care is all about
how you want to live with this.
439
00:21:37,817 --> 00:21:41,487
Well, I'm here for psychological support,
pain management.
440
00:21:42,864 --> 00:21:45,408
And when you're actively dying,
I'm here for that too.
441
00:21:47,952 --> 00:21:50,204
Hey. I know it's cheesy,
442
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,124
but… [whispers]
…everybody has a bucket list.
443
00:21:53,624 --> 00:21:55,626
I tell patients to dream big.
444
00:21:55,710 --> 00:21:58,338
You know, climb a mountain,
eat something spicy.
445
00:21:58,421 --> 00:22:00,590
-You know, roller-skate.
-I have cancer in my bones.
446
00:22:00,673 --> 00:22:02,508
Well, it doesn't
have to be roller-skating--
447
00:22:02,592 --> 00:22:04,469
You think if I learn
to fucking roller-skate--
448
00:22:04,552 --> 00:22:05,678
-What about whales?
-Look--
449
00:22:05,762 --> 00:22:07,013
Have you ever seen a whale before?
450
00:22:07,096 --> 00:22:11,225
I'm too young, and it sucks, okay?
451
00:22:13,644 --> 00:22:15,355
I haven't done anything with my life.
452
00:22:15,438 --> 00:22:17,774
I actually don't know
what I like, or what I want.
453
00:22:23,029 --> 00:22:23,863
I've never…
454
00:22:24,489 --> 00:22:26,741
I've never even
had an orgasm with another person.
455
00:22:28,534 --> 00:22:29,619
[sobbing] And now I'm going to die.
456
00:22:31,662 --> 00:22:32,663
[social worker] Good.
457
00:22:33,873 --> 00:22:34,707
Molly.
458
00:22:36,042 --> 00:22:36,876
Hey.
459
00:22:38,211 --> 00:22:40,546
We have something for your list.
460
00:22:40,630 --> 00:22:41,798
[sobs, sniffles]
461
00:22:43,299 --> 00:22:46,010
[singing] "Orgasm with another person."
462
00:22:46,094 --> 00:22:47,428
[both laughing]
463
00:22:47,970 --> 00:22:48,805
Yeah?
464
00:22:57,146 --> 00:22:57,980
What is that?
465
00:22:58,815 --> 00:23:00,066
Oh.
466
00:23:00,149 --> 00:23:01,859
You know, I like
to have a little leather on me.
467
00:23:04,487 --> 00:23:05,488
[Molly] Ask her.
468
00:23:06,447 --> 00:23:07,740
Are you into leather?
469
00:23:10,076 --> 00:23:11,077
I like to be hog-tied.
470
00:23:11,744 --> 00:23:14,747
Like, hands and feet?
471
00:23:14,831 --> 00:23:15,873
Like, legs together.
472
00:23:17,291 --> 00:23:18,793
What does that feel like?
473
00:23:20,503 --> 00:23:22,046
Thank you for not asking if it hurts.
474
00:23:24,006 --> 00:23:25,341
[exhales sharply] It's…
475
00:23:27,593 --> 00:23:28,594
It's very intense.
476
00:23:32,140 --> 00:23:33,516
Does that kind of thing speak to you?
477
00:23:38,354 --> 00:23:40,356
You know,
because you could start exploring.
478
00:23:42,817 --> 00:23:44,527
Molly, there's a whole world out there.
479
00:23:46,112 --> 00:23:46,988
If you want it.
480
00:23:56,539 --> 00:23:57,874
[car door opens, closes]
481
00:24:02,003 --> 00:24:03,796
[pedestrians chattering]
482
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,423
I think I just left Steve.
483
00:24:10,970 --> 00:24:11,804
Okay.
484
00:24:14,599 --> 00:24:16,434
I told him I don't wanna die with him.
485
00:24:18,102 --> 00:24:19,312
Oh.
486
00:24:22,940 --> 00:24:25,860
Oh, shit. [chuckles] Okay.
487
00:24:25,943 --> 00:24:27,236
I wanna die with you.
488
00:24:35,203 --> 00:24:36,537
But it's okay if you can't.
489
00:24:37,788 --> 00:24:40,791
If it's too much to…
490
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,048
[chuckles]
491
00:24:53,054 --> 00:24:54,388
[♪ "Vampire Empire" playing]
492
00:24:54,472 --> 00:24:57,975
Yeah. Let's do it. Die with me.
493
00:24:58,059 --> 00:24:59,685
[chuckling] Yeah.
494
00:24:59,769 --> 00:25:00,770
[Molly] Thank you.
495
00:25:04,232 --> 00:25:05,233
Thank you.
496
00:25:06,275 --> 00:25:07,276
Sweetie.
497
00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:09,153
-[horn honks]
-Oh.
498
00:25:09,237 --> 00:25:11,030
Jesus Christ!
499
00:25:11,113 --> 00:25:15,159
I felt that in my fucking asshole, okay?
This is a fucking hospital!
500
00:25:15,243 --> 00:25:18,579
-Go somewhere else to honk your horn.
-Hey. Move your car, please!
501
00:25:18,663 --> 00:25:21,999
Sir, I'm talking to my friend
who just left her husband.
502
00:25:22,083 --> 00:25:24,710
-So just give me one fucking second!
-Cry me a fucking river!
503
00:25:24,794 --> 00:25:26,462
-Jesus Christ!
-Move your car! I need to get home.
504
00:25:26,546 --> 00:25:29,882
I'm being appropriate. I'm with someone
at the hospital. I'm not honking.
505
00:25:29,966 --> 00:25:32,009
-I'm not yelling at people.
-Cry me a river. Move the car.
506
00:25:32,093 --> 00:25:34,262
I'm a person doing the thing that people
are doing at the hospital
507
00:25:34,345 --> 00:25:36,138
-other than being sick.
-You know what? Fuck it.
508
00:25:36,222 --> 00:25:38,724
-I'll move it myself. Ah, fuck!
-What? Don't get up. Oh, my God!
509
00:25:38,808 --> 00:25:40,226
No. Just stay there. I'm sorry. I don't…
510
00:25:40,309 --> 00:25:41,310
-Go, go, go!
-[Molly giggles]
511
00:25:41,394 --> 00:25:44,021
Fuck you! You started this!
You're a fucking dick!
512
00:25:44,105 --> 00:25:46,107
-[horn honks]
-[Nikki] Just get in. Get in. Go.
513
00:25:47,733 --> 00:25:48,818
[Nikki] Get in. Get in.
514
00:25:52,154 --> 00:25:53,155
Drive.
515
00:25:54,824 --> 00:25:58,369
♪ I see you there
Rejecting all your earthly power ♪
516
00:25:58,452 --> 00:26:02,331
♪ I wanted to see you naked,
I wanted to hear you scream ♪
517
00:26:02,415 --> 00:26:05,793
♪ Wanted to kiss your skin
And your everything ♪
518
00:26:05,876 --> 00:26:09,338
♪ You turn me inside out
And then you want me outside in ♪
519
00:26:09,422 --> 00:26:13,050
♪ You spin me all around
And then you ask me not to spin ♪
520
00:26:13,134 --> 00:26:16,721
♪ You say you wanna be alone
And you want children ♪
521
00:26:16,804 --> 00:26:20,808
♪ You wanna be with me
You wanna be with him ♪
522
00:26:20,891 --> 00:26:24,020
♪ You give me chills
I've had it with the drills ♪
523
00:26:24,103 --> 00:26:27,648
♪ I'm nothing, you are nothing
We are nothing with the pills ♪
524
00:26:27,732 --> 00:26:31,277
♪ I am empty till she fills
Alive until she kills ♪
525
00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:34,655
♪ In her vampire empire, I am ♪
526
00:26:34,739 --> 00:26:38,367
♪ Falling, yeah ♪
527
00:26:38,451 --> 00:26:42,038
♪ Falling, yeah ♪
528
00:26:42,121 --> 00:26:45,750
♪ Falling, yeah ♪
529
00:26:45,833 --> 00:26:49,253
♪ Falling, yeah ♪
530
00:26:49,337 --> 00:26:51,297
[song ends]
531
00:26:51,297 --> 00:26:56,297
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532
00:26:51,297 --> 00:27:01,297
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