Original subtitles

[Opening Music]

Haha, listen to this,

some stupid dumb cunt fuckhead 11-year-old girl

is asking Dolly Doctor why her boyfriend broke up with her.

She is obviously fucking ugly.

Hope she dies, hahahahaha.

Oh, poor girl, that sounds sad.

Wait.

Why are you reading Dolly Magazine?

That issue is from 2002.

Lately, I've been yearning for a more peaceful time.

[Crash]

Hello!

Urgh, it's that stupid Peleeken character.

I hate you!

Actually, I'm not the Peleeken you know and love.

I am Emerald Peleeken

and my sole purpose is to be a messenger

and invite you to Peelekens splirthday party

at Bubble Gum Park near Wollongong Beach.

Our cousins Sapphire

and Ruby Peleeken will be there, too.

They travelled all the way from Newcastle.

There will be many fun activities

like apple bobbing,

baking cookies and performing plays.

Oh, it will be so much fun!

I hope you can come!

Oh cool, yeah, we'll come.

Right, Rachel?

We're not doing anything else today.

Urgh, is it going to be like an actual party?

Like I said, there will be apple bobbing!

(sighs) Yeah, alright.

Great! Here's a map to the event.

It starts in 26 minutes and 32 seconds.

Goodbye!

[Bang]

Oh, I really love seeing that thing die.

Where the fuck is this place?

I've lived in Wollongong for ages

and I've never heard of Bubble Gum Park.

According to the map,

it's supposed to be just around this corner here.

Sarah! Rachel!

Hi, Peleeken!

Sorry, I just realised we didn't get you a gift.

That's ok, splirthday parties are not

gift giving celebrations.

All you need to bring is your love and curiosity.

Let the fun begin!

I've rented Bubble Gum Park for five hours

so we can have lots of fun!

By the way,

this is Ruby and Sapphire Peleeken.

I have told them everything about you

and they love you.

Hi Sarah and Rachel, we love you!

Aww, hi little thing.

What's your name?

Awww, how adorable.

Alright, where's the apple bobbing?

Over here!

Let's play together, Rachel.

Oi Nazza,

try throwing the ball straight this time you fuckhead.

Nah, I'm like, full trying, hey.

- It's just a bit hard. - Shut the fuck up!

I can't even fucking understand ya.

(Brooklyn American accent) Hahahaha, good one, boss.

Shut up, Gellivah!

Youch! Thank you, sir.

Come on! Throw another.

I'll get the ball for you, boss!

Huh?

Hey, boss!

Over here!

I think you want to see this.

What is it?

Hm, I didn't know this place existed.

Me neither.

Alright, group huddle, boys.

This is the perfect opportunity to take our shenanigans

to the next level.

Let's go in the park,

kick out everyone there

and turn it into our new headquarters.

- Yeah good idea. - Yeah, let's kill em.

That's a great plan, boss.

I'm the apple bobbing champion!

You're doing great, Rachel.

You're beating me in a very fair way.

Eh, eh.

There you go, precious.

Thank you! Are you an angel?

Aww, you're so cute!

No, of course not.

I'm a person, just like you.

Actually, my mummy says I'm not a person.

I'm different.

Well, it doesn't matter what you are,

what matters is that you have a heart right here.

- [screams] - Oh my god, sorry!

That's ok, I just don't have a skeleton.

Aww.

Hello everybody,

sorry to be loud and get your attention

like this but I just wanted to say that

it's time for the play!

(sighs) How long has it been, Jemethia?

Since I have lodged at Monsieur Bartholomew's estate?

Long enough for us to really get to know each other,

and to understand the woes and distresses of our past.

(sighs) You don't really know me.

Only few do.

Few understand

what it is like to have the last name “Orethilia ”,

and the responsibilities that brings.

For me as well, sire...

few know the responsibilities

of being the head house butler to the Orethilia name.

Perhaps we are more alike

than I thought.

Perhaps we are, master.

[kissing]

(cries) Jovious the third was just captured

by the Prussians.

- (gasps) No! - (gasps) Oh my god!

Ouch!

G'day everyone.

Guess what?

This is our park now.

But I've been coming to Bubble Gum Park

for 500 years,

for every splirthday party I've ever had!

You can't do this to us.

Go on, get!

- Get out of here! - Fuck out of here!

You no good rascals.

Bunch of fucking pansies.

I'm scared.

Urgh, I was in the middle of breaking

my apple bobbing record.

Bloody dickheads.

We may as well go home, they won.

Our precious Bubble Gum Park is lost.

There's nothing we can do.

That's nonsense.

There's no reason they can take the park away from us.

They're just being bullies.

Come on, let's go get it back.

I agree. Let's bash these cunts.

I'm scared though.

They were big and muscly and mean looking.

Peleeken!

Don't you want to spend many more splirthdays here?

If you really believe in something,

you need to fight for it!

You're right, Sarah. We need to fight back!

But what do we do?

Don't worry, I have a plan.

Brothers,

I propose a toast.

Bubble Gum Park is hereby now called Shannon's Evil Park

of Doom and Evil Deeds.

This land shall be used to do a bunch of twisted evil shit.

Like we can build orc type infrastructure with spikes

and stuff and breed a new race of creatures

that can expand our army,

similar to Sarumans Uruk-Hai

from Lord Of The Rings, Two Towers.

And Umm.....like,

I dunno, like,

you guys can also pitch ideas if you want, like,

I am open to anything here.

Uh, I dunno we could like,

kill people and stuff here too, I guess.

Ah, yeah nah, that's good. Yeah, yeah, that's good, Nazza.

Yeah, thanks for that one! Yeah, cheers!

Yeah, nah, no worries! Happy to help.

I propose a thousand year Reich of this park.

- Woah. - What the fuck, bro?

- Nah. - Oh come on,

you know what I mean, I just mean like a long time.

Come on.

So, what's the plan, Sarah?

I don't know, I thought we could all come up here first

and brainstorm ideas together.

- (falling) Ahh! - Rachel!

(hits ground) Urgh.

It appears some fat wild hog has fallen from the trees.

I'm not a fucking hog!

- My name is Rachel! - Oh, sick!

She can be the first sacrifice to our cricket god.

Oh no, what are we going to do?

I know what to do.

I stole this from the markets and never told my daddy.

Lilly! That's very dangerous!

Watch this, mummy!

- Argh! - Oh my god. Oh my god.

Holy shit! What the fuck!

Oh my gosh. What is going on?

She's got a fucking Machete bro!

She's got a fucking machete!

Youch! It's lights out for Gellivah.

(American accent) Hm. How peculiar.

Such a tender life,

at the whim of a foolish brute like me.

(screams) No!

(laughs diabolically)

The final soul I needed.

(Diabolically laughs)

Urgh!

Finally, Bubble Gum Park is mine.

(howls)

No!

How could he do that to such a sweet, innocent creature?

No! Sarah!

Oi, this is my hiding spot. Get out of here!

Don't be so reckless, Sarah!

He'll kill you!

This is a job for me and my family.

It might be finally time to fuse

and summon the final evolution

but it hasn't been done for thousands of years.

It might not work.

The only way this evolution works

is if all of your friends can say that they love you.

I know Sarah knows that in her heart

but I am more apprehensive about you, Rachel.

- Nah, I'm not going to say that. - Please Rachel,

if you don't, that beautiful werewolf

is going to destroy the universe!

I literally can't say that unless I'm drunk.

Come on Rachel, just say it!

Here! Drink some shots of our Peleeken brand vodka.

It's really strong.

(mumbles) I love you, Peleeken.

Ooh. There is love in my tummy.

Now you still have to say it to Ruby and Sapphire Peleeken

for the summoning to work.

- Urgh. - Just do it, Rachel.

Give me more of that stupid Peleeken vodka.

(mumbles) I love you, Ruby Peleeken,

I love you, Sapphire Peleeken.

Uhh, yay!

Great! Now quick, just give your apple bobbing partner,

Sapphire Peleeken a kiss on the lips,

it will make the magic even stronger.

Oh my god.

[kiss]

I think the summoning has been activated.

And by the way, that was just water, Rachel.

I tricked you!

Fuck you! I fucking hate you!

[Anime Theme Song starts]

Who are you?

I am Holy Peleeken,

and I am the one who is going to smite you.

Ooh, I think I'm pregnant with a thousand souls.

Horray, we are free from the soul ring!

Hurray, we're free, free, free.

Ohh, where am I?

What happened?

Oh my god, Lilly! You are alive!

Mummy!

Aw, you poor thing,

for a little girl your age that must have been terrifying!

Oh, I'm not a little girl.

- I'm a 46-year-old man. - What?

Yeah, that's not my child. I don't know who that is.

Why was she with all of you then?

Can I be a bother and get everyone's attention again?

This has been the best Splirthday party

ever!

Especially at the fact that Rachel loves me

and my two cousins.

Now its time to sing the Peleeken song, everyone!

A 1 and a 2 and a 3, 4, 5, 6.

(singing) It's time to sing

the Peleeken song

cause we all want to sing it together.

We love to sing it everyday and all the time

‘cause we are Peleekens!

This is the worst YOLO episode ever.

I agree.

(singing) And we all love each other

and we're all Peleekens.