Original subtitles

Hey, Christian. You almost ready to go?

Dad, my stomach feels funny.

No, you just don't wanna go to your mom's boring work picnic.

Look, how about this, son?

How about I stay in town,

and I go to that boring work picnic,

and you drive up and down Georgia

with Laura looking for wedding venues? Deal?

Why you doing all that?

Just go to a church. It's a wedding.

Yeah, you would think.

But it's not a fancy venue

that Laura saw in one of her housewife shows,

so here we are.

That's ridiculous.

I don't get it, Dad.

Well, you know, son, one day you grow up

and you still won't get it.

What is taking her so long? Laura!

[Laura] I'm coming.

We gotta go.

Oh, my goodness, I'm sorry, babe.

I had to pack.

I thought you were going away for just one night.

[Calvin chuckles] Oh, sweetie.

I am going away for one night.

However, a woman needs her options, okay?

See, we have tonight, we have tomorrow morning,

tomorrow day, then travel back.

That's three wardrobe changes plus backups

in case my mood or the weather changes, right?

Plus I have shoes and accessory options.

Of course, it's not a game.

Sounds way over the top.

It's too early in the morning

for you to be starting with me, little boy.

Baby, you don't sound like you excited

about wedding planning.

Baby, I'm excited. It's just, I'm a dude.

All the colors and flower arrangements

and what type of font to use on the invitation,

-that doesn't matter to me. -[Laura] Mm.

But don't get me wrong. I'm excited.

It's just all the background stuff

isn't important to me.

Look, I don't care where I get to kiss my bride,

as long as I get to do it.

Okay.

Well, listen, us women, we get excited

about these kinds of things, babe.

It means a lot to us.

Look, I showed my girlfriends

all the venues we're gonna go see

and they were so jealous.

-Mm. -Wait, jealous like

they would rather go instead?

Wait, you would be okay with that?

Would you?

-I mean... -I mean...

Well, if you think about it, I've seen

all the wedding venues online and I'm okay with any of them,

so if you think you would have more fun

making this a little girls trip...

A girls trip? Oh! Say less!

Okay.

I see you, Dad.

What'd you say, baby?

-[Calvin] Nothing. -Nothing.

-[Laura] Oh. -Nothing.

-I'll go my way. Okay. -[Calvin] Okay.

I love it.

Well, y'all have fun on your little boys' weekend.

Christian, I love you, baby.

Aw, you have a good weekend, okay?

I'ma get the door for you.

Honey, listen, I love you so much.

-[Calvin] I love you back. -And thank you.

-No problem. You have fun. -Ooh, you are the best.

Yeah, have fun. Be safe.

-[Laura] Okay. -All right.

Yes! Now that is what I call a win-win.

No boring work picnic for you

and no boring location scouting for me.

I'ma call your mom to tell her plans have changed.

Hey, so you wanna catch a movie and grab a pizza?

You not in the mood for pizza?

No, my stomach again. Think I'm gonna be sick.

Hey, Miranda, so, uh, look, plans have changed.

[Christian retching loudly]

[whimpers] Uh, Christian is barfing.

Yeah, I, uh... Wait, you don't mind

coming over to help me with him?

Oh, my God. You are the best.

Okay, get here. Yes, it's bad. Come on.

Okay. Bye.

Son, you okay?

[Christian barfs]

[music]

Oh, my gosh, how are we arguing over cookies

we haven't even tasted yet?

Might as well argue over cookies.

Lately, we argue over everything.

You think they're better soft. I prefer them crunchy.

Let's just agree to disagree.

Don't nobody want no crunchy cookies.

Like father, like daughter.

When your daddy was a boy,

he was always having his little dirty fingers

in my cookie dough.

[chuckles] Aunt Ella, that is not true.

C.J., you did not put your dirty little fingers

in the cookie dough?

My hands was never dirty.

They was in the cookie dough.

Mine ain't dirty either.

-Hey, Uncle Curtis. -[Curtis] Hey.

We baking cookies. You want one?

Nah, ain't in the mood for no cookies.

That's like a vacuum

saying it ain't in the mood for dust bunnies.

You feeling all right?

[scoffs] I feel like a million bucks.

It's Floyd that's not feeling all right.

He's off somewhere feeling like two pennies.

What's wrong with Floyd?

He just made the biggest mistake of his whole entire life.

Okay, baby. Okay. All right.

Did I miss something?

"What's wrong with Floyd?" You didn't tell her?

I didn't.

Curtis and Floyd had a big disagreement yesterday

about the barbecue business.

Yeah, it was bad.

It was so bad, I had to send Uncle Curtis

to the corner out there.

And I had to leave.

Well, they did finally agree upon something.

That it was time for them to dissolve

their business partnership.

Oh, that's a shame. Their crazy went well together.

Well, when two people fight,

find themselves fighting and arguing all the time,

sometimes it's just best

if they just go their separate ways

before things begin to get spiteful and mean,

'cause it's gonna get spiteful and mean every time.

Crunchy.

No, we can't let them get a divorce.

A divorce?

-Did I say divorce? -You did. You said divorce.

I thought I heard divorce.

Oh, what I meant to say was we can't let them

separate their business relationship.

Oh, okay, okay.

So no divorce. You just feel like

maybe we should get Uncle Curtis and Floyd together

so they can talk?

You know, talk before you get to divorce.

Some degree of remediation, some kind of...

Wait a minute, are we still talking about Floyd?

Who else would we be talking about?

Well, okay, Curtis and Floyd talked it out yesterday.

Mm-hmm, and Laura and I spent an hour

cleaning barbecue sauce off these cabinets.

See, what they didn't have

was Janine and I to talk it out with them...

-Oh. -And be the mediators.

Be in this thing together.

-Yeah. Uh-huh. -Uh-huh. Yup.

They do call me a negotiator.

Well, listen, Floyd is too mad to come back over here.

And if he did,

Curtis is not gonna let him in.

-Don't even worry about it. -[Ella] He's not!

Watch, just watch us work. Watch.

Go on, baby, make that call. Watch him do his thing.

[cellphone dialing] [Ella chuckling]

Hey, Floyd. Hey, man.

Listen, um, Uncle Curtis wants to apologize.

Yeah. Okay, okay, I'll see you soon.

-All right, man. -[Janine] Yes.

-That's what... -See who soon?

-Floyd. Mm. -Floyd!

That no-good old scallywag.

Yeah, he said he wanted to apologize.

Okay, so he finally come to his senses, huh?

-[Janine] Mm-hmm. -Good.

-What's that? -Cookies.

[Curtis] Give me one of them cookies.

-Where's my baby? -Hey. He's right there.

Hey, sweetheart.

Daddy told me that you threw up.

Are you feeling okay?

My tummy still hurts.

What is this? What?

You are sweating. Fever.

Okay, let's move this. Let's move this.

[sighs] Come here.

Let Momma sing you the sick song.

♪ Hush, little baby Don't say a word ♪

♪ Momma's gonna buy you a mocking bird ♪

You know, you pretty good at that.

Let's take you in your room

and let's get you some good rest, okay?

All right. Let's go, baby. Come on. Come on.

Make sure you take that trash can.

We got it.

Sweetheart.

You know, I love my son.

But I am out of sick days.

Okay.

You know, watching you in action is amazing.

I kind of forget how good of a team we made.

Team, I am the one who is taking care of Christian.

What are you doing?

Fumigating.

All right, well, he is all settled.

Just give me a call if you need me, okay?

Wait, wait, wait, you can't leave.

Why not? What do you mean?

Once somebody throws up, there's usually more coming.

I don't know.

Come on, come on, just, like, an hour or two.

Please? For Christian.

For Christian.

Thank you.

[both sighing tiredly]

[Calvin] It has been a long week.

Mm, for me too.

All right.

I'm gonna have some wine. You want some?

I'm good, thanks.

Cool.

There we go. Coming up.

-Here you go. -Wait, what is this?

I said, "I'm good, thanks."

Oh, I thought you said, "Sounds good, thanks."

Well, I'm not gonna throw it out, so cheers.

You're the worst.

You know, we have had some pretty good memories

-in this condo. -[Calvin] Mm-hmm.

Some of them not so good.

Most of them good.

Starting when I carried you across the threshold.

Okay, I don't know if that memory

is as good as you think it was.

What, a strapping groom carrying his bride

into his castle like a conquering hero?

That don't sound like a good memory to you?

That does. That sounds amazing.

But you and I both know that is not how it happened.

Okay, let's not talk about how it really happened.

Oh, no, no, no. Let's talk about it.

Let's talk about how you picked me up,

your back went out,

and you almost dropped me on my head.

Wait, I hurt my back playing ball with my boys.

I just didn't wanna disappoint you

on your wedding night.

So you almost had us spending our wedding night

in the emergency room, you conquering hero, you.

Admit it, that was a good memory, though.

Okay, it was pretty good.

We got a lot of those.

You remember that night on the living room floor?

Nope.

Nope, and I'm not gonna remember that night

right now, no.

Oh, get your mind out the gutter.

I'm talking about a couple of weeks

when we brought Christian home.

Mm, yeah, I do remember that.

Yeah, he was so fussy that night.

Yeah, and you, uh, you brought him in here

so that I could get some sleep.

Yeah, you ended up coming out here

and spending the night with us.

[Miranda] I did.

I always got my best sleep when we were all together.

Yeah, so did Christian.

Especially, when you were singing him a song.

♪ Hush, little baby Don't say a word ♪

♪ Momma's gonna buy you a mocking bird ♪

You gotta learn the words.

I do.

I remember making you a promise that night.

Me too.

You promised that, um, you would love me forever.

Forever and ever.

[sighs] Well, um, [clears throat]

we did have some great memories.

And, you know, it's probably time for me to go. Yeah.

Look, Miranda, don't go.

Listen, Christian is fine.

Bye, Calvin.

Okay, what you waiting on, Floyd?

I'm waiting on your apology.

My apology?

Yes, that's what C.J. Said.

You supposed to apologize.

What?

Yeah, uh, sorry about that, fellas.

See, if Janine and I were gonna get you guys back together,

we had to get you both

in the same place at the same time.

-Right. -Oh, hell to the nah.

So C.J. just played us.

No. No. C.J. didn't play you. He just tried to help you.

We don't need your help!

We don't need your help, we don't need your help! Okay?

We broke up as business partners and it's a done deal.

Well, you had such a good thing going.

I mean, you don't wanna just throw it all away

just over one little petty argument, right?

[both] Wrong.

We didn't have just one petty argument.

We argued about the business all the time.

We have what you call irre, irre...

-"Irreconcilable." -Differences.

And look it up. It's a thing.

Yeah, I think you might need to look that up.

See, what happens is that we decided

to break up our business relationship

so we wouldn't ruin our friendship.

Oh, okay, well, then you're still friends.

That's good.

We will always be friends.

We just get mad at each other all the time.

Right.

Because he put barbecue sauce purposely on my chef jacket.

You still on that?

You know what? C.J., I'm glad you asked me over today.

Yes. Yes, that is the energy. That's the spirit, Floyd.

So you two can kiss and make up.

Oh, no, it's so I can take back everything that I paid for

in this business.

Yep, all this here.

Like what?

Like this spatula.

Oh, no, me and this spatula been together too long.

This my common-law spatula.

Well, what about this grill?

[gasps]

How you gonna take a man's whole grill?

Technically, technically,

let's just, let's just bring the law in it.

You know, not my rules. Just what the government says.

If he contributed to the joint account,

he is entitled.

This is well within his rights.

I don't remember you passing the bar, ma'am.

Worry about less.

Yeah, you [indistinct] I get visitation rights.

How about that?

Visitation rights? I want full custody.

-Joint custody. -Joint?

Yeah, yeah, you can have on weekdays.

I get on weekends.

Don't nobody grill on no weekday.

You don't grill on any day, Floyd.

You not a master griller, Floyd, like myself.

There's a select group and you are not one of us.

And I don't wanna be one of y'all.

Matter of fact, y'all all selfish and egotistical.

-And you know what else I am? -[Floyd] What?

-Not your friend. -That part.

I'm good with that. You have a nice life, Curtis.

I already got one.

I'll wash my hands of you, brother.

It's not my concern or my business anymore

to be concerned about you.

-Hey, hey. -What's happening, Calvin?

-Oh! My man. -[Junior] What's up?

[C.J.] What's going on, Junior.

I just dropped Christian off at Miranda's.

He's feeling much better.

Ah, man, 24-hour bug? That's good?

Yeah, and Junior wanted to come over and play with his cousins.

-I did. -[Calvin] Yeah.

You did. Now go find them.

Yeah, they out back, playing.

But I'm hungry.

Jazzy made some cookies. They're nice and soft.

Oh, uh, I like mind crispy.

Keep your voice down, man.

Hey, Junior, uh, it's almost lunchtime.

Go play with your cousins

and I'll take you somewhere to eat in a minute.

Ugh.

Boy.

[chuckles] My man, he getting big, man.

These kids.

What you wanna talk about, man?

Me? Nothing.

Come on, man. I know you.

I know you wanna come here for some of my expert advice.

But you worried that I'm gonna judge you.

No, I'm not worried exactly. It's just...

-No, you... -Okay, I'm worried

that you gonna judge me.

Yeah, you right to worry.

'Cause I'm definitely gonna judge you.

But, seriously, C.J., I, uh,

I realized something last night.

Now, I love Laura.

You just realized this last night.

I mean, you're literally planning a wedding.

Now, I know. I love her, but it's just...

Can I tell you something about Miranda

between me and you?

[C.J.] What's that?

Okay, so we were talking and reminiscing

and I realized, man, it hit me

that, uh, that I still love her.

But I love Laura. I love them both.

You still love your ex-wife. Are you crazy?

Are you?

No. I'm happily married.

To your ex-wife.

They the same broad, man.

No, but you and Janine, you got a divorce,

went off your separate ways,

grew separately,

and now you're remarried and happier than ever.

Yeah. Happier than ever.

Well, what I'm saying is Miranda and I,

we're not the same people we were when we got divorced.

I mean, I've grown. She's changed too.

And now she's patient, she's kind,

and she still has my back even though we're not together.

[sighs] Man, I can't tell you what's in your heart,

but, uh, man, you gotta figure this out fast

before you make the biggest mistake of your life ever.

Man, that got intense.

Yeah, um, see, that's why I have a bone to pick with you.

-With me? -[C.J.] Yeah.

'Cause I can't believe you sided with Floyd.

Baby, what's not to believe? Floyd was right.

There ain't no way Floyd could take

Uncle Curtis entire grill. That is just crazy.

Floyd contributed his money to the business.

Curtis doesn't get to keep everything

just because he stored it at his house.

Now that's crazy.

Okay, okay, all right.

I'm not gonna argue with you about this tonight.

Good. Good. All right.

'Cause I believe you might be starting menopause, baby.

[Janine laughs sarcastically]

No, I think me and you better pause

is what's going on.

You know, it starts around this age.

You know what? I'm younger than you.

So say what you want.

Two years.

Seriously, though...

We been on this journey...

[both] A long time.

-Long time. Long, long... -Yeah.

Uh, we said long. We said it once. Once was enough.

-Long time. -It was good.

Yeah.

And even with the glitches and the fights,

and the things, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

That's your opportunity to agree.

No, that's, that's, that's a good thought.

Okay.

But you know, some of them glitches,

you know, I was thinking about something.

I saw this little red Corvette.

Uh-huh?

And I might trade you in for one of those.

You might trade me in for one of those.

That was, that thing, ooh, that's nice.

Well, see, in order for that to happen,

-you have to have a pulse. -Oh. Oh.

-You gonna choke me? -Is that one gray hair?

-You gonna kill me? -Yes. Yes.

No, baby.

I am getting tired of you disrespecting me.

Now, when I say you...

Look, did you just slam my door?

You heard it, didn't you?

Junior, you don't slam doors in my house.

Now I am the adult and you will respect me, okay?

You don't walk in here, slamming doors, Junior!

Do you hear me?

You're not perfect either.

Junior, I don't have to be perfect

to be your father.

Your job is to listen to what I say!

Okay?

-You're playing two women! -[Calvin] What?

[Junior] Miranda. You love her.

You're supposed to be getting married to Laura soon.

Make it make sense.

Junior, why were you eavesdropping on me?

That was an adult conversation

and you had no place in that conversation!

You're always tell me to tell the truth,

but you're lying to them.

Junior, go to your room.

Don't be kicking the furniture in here!

[knocking on door] [Officer] Police, open up.

We got a domestic disturbance call.