All language subtitles for Tyler.Perrys.House.of.Payne.S13E11.1080p.WEB.h264-BAE_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

[music]

Okay. Yes. Uncle Curtis, we're both coming.

Yes, she's prepping the chicken, yes, right now, uh-huh.

Yes! She seasoned the chicken, man!

That's not nice, Unc, no.

Hey. Tell him this is the last

of the prep that we are doing in our kitchen.

We'll be there in a few minutes.

Ooh, this is the last tray of food that we are contributing.

I agree.

This is not, this is a restaurant

where he's actually paying for anything.

Well, ever since they got featured

on your friend Colby Jack's page,

you know, business has been crazy for them.

Yes.

[C.J.] You know, we just helping out.

I know. I know.

The food truck is parked right outside

and I'm sure it's gonna be really busy just, you know...

And why didn't you just use their kitchen?

He's using their kitchen to cook.

He needed us to help just prep things.

-Hey. What y'all doing? -Hey.

We are going to happily go and help Uncle Curtis

with his cookout at the food truck.

-Ah. -You wanna join us?

Uh, actually, I can't.

Councilman Dustman is stopping by later.

But, uh, Jazmine's not doing anything.

How you know that?

Well, what are you doing?

Nothing, but that's not the point.

So why you meeting with the councilman?

Uh, well, he said he had some good news for me.

-Oh, really? -[Malik] Yeah.

He sounded pretty excited too, so we'll see how it goes.

-Good for you. Yeah. -That's really good, Son.

[cellphone ringing] [Malik] Thank you.

[Janine griping through teeth]

Uncle Curtis. [cellphone continues ringing]

Yeah. Answer him. Uncle Curtis.

We are on the way.

You know what? You know what you could do?

You could say, "Thank you, Janine."

You could offer payment, Janine. You could at least...

[call end tone beeping]

Why don't you just come and hang out with your family

and help out? It'll be fun.

I hope.

Fine. I'll come help. Unlike somebody.

Did he just hang up on me?

I really need your help

keeping your mom from smacking Uncle Curtis.

I got you. It's my daily job.

Good luck with that.

[theme music]

[birds chirping]

[jet engine]

[siren wailing] [horn honking]

[car alarm blaring]

[siren wailing]

[helicopter blades whirring]

[theme music]

-Okay. -Hey.

-Hey! How are you? -Good.

Okay, you can put this right over here.

I made some space for you.

Thank you so much. Ooh, this looks good.

-Oh, my goodness. -Now wait a minute.

Uncle Curtis has you working the cookout too, huh?

You mean "the chef"?

"The chef"?

That's right. The chef.

And you will address me as such.

What's up, Uncle Curtis? How you doing?

Mwah. I am fantastic. It is a glorious day.

All right.

And why are you out of order, Jazzy?

What you talking about?

Jazzy, you dressed all cute and stuff.

Oh, this? I just threw this old thing on.

That's a nice outfit you got on there, Unc.

That is, actually. Do we all get one of those?

These aren't outfits, are they?

No, they're not, Chef.

Will you tell them what they are.

They are sleek, modern, state-of-the-art,

moisture-wicking ensembles

only meant for the finest of chefs.

But if you ask me,

I think my bandana is way cuter.

Thank you. That's enough.

So you the sous chef?

You know, I came in as that, but, apparently...

Assistant. She's my assistant.

But she's my fiancée.

-Hey, babe. -Hey, baby. Mwah.

Why can't you be on time?

Oh. My bad, Pops. I had to get the boys situated.

Speaking of boys, C.J., where are yours?

Oh, Malik has a really important meeting

with the councilman today.

So we brought this one instead.

Gee, thanks, Dad.

[Ella] Wow.

-Hey! -Hey, Aunt Ella.

-[all exclaiming and greeting] -[Ella] Hey, everybody!

Hush! Hush!

Baby, why aren't you dressed

to work on the food truck today?

Uh, Curtis, because I'm not working on the food truck today.

Glo and I are going thrifting.

Okay, well, on second thought,

keeping Glo occupied is a great idea.

Curtis, when I get back, my kitchen's gotta be in order.

Hey, Mrs. Payne, I will make sure

that he does not get carried away, okay?

Thank you. You look cute.

Thank you.

See, see? She liked my bandana.

Can we stay focused, please?

I'm focused.

Let's get to the marching order, okay?

Calvin... Quit eating the product!

Calvin, C.J., I need you to put the orders together.

Janine, Jazzy, I need y'all to take orders.

-Oh, got you. -Fine.

Okay, and me and my assistant, we will hold it down from here.

Hey, hey, look, they lining up, all right?

Look, they getting angry, Curtis.

Look, they started to shake the truck,

and you know that suspension can't take it.

Okay, they on the way.

-Excuse me! Hey. -Yeah, hey, how y'all doing?

Why-How y'all get new outfits and everything?

That's what I said.

Get, get, get got!

Because Uncle Curtis is selfish.

That's messed up, Pops.

No, it's not. I am the HCIC,

the Head Chef in Charge, you heard?

Well, can't we get a bandana or something?

You know what? Actually, there is something

I bought for all of you to wear.

-Oh, cool. -And that's right here.

Forgot it right here.

They're so divine. Here, put that on.

-Okay. -A hair neck?

Uh-huh. Here you go.

You need a new one.

You need to wear a new one every few days.

Few days?

-Thank you. Thank you. -And you too.

You should've had one on already.

You slipping.

So... Maybe I spoke too soon.

[doorbell ringing]

All right.

-Good day, Payne. -Councilman.

-It is a glorious day. -It is.

Have you been outside to smell the essence?

Well, uh, normally, there's a dog out there

that lays their essence on the lawn.

So that's usually what I'm smelling.

Yeah, I did see that. That must be a big dog.

You know, you'd be surprised how much these little dogs put out.

I don't know what's in this new dog food of theirs.

But have a seat.

I can't. I'm too excited.

Oh. Must be excited about that, uh, huge promotion

and huge raise you about to give me, huh?

Now that was funny.

No, we caught Grady's daughter on video

at a private party, getting drunk.

One of our teammates snuck into the party,

recorded it, and gave it to me.

I've decided not to release it just yet.

But I want you to run the reins on this.

Uh... [chuckles awkwardly]

Well, how so?

I want you to search her social media,

see what else you can find to pair nicely with the video.

And then we'll release it.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, she became belligerent. Got arrested and everything.

Grady's campaign tried to hide it.

Uh, [chuckles awkwardly] you know, Councilman, I...

[cellphone ringing] Look, I gotta take this.

I'll get in touch with you later.

This is Dustman. Another fundraiser?

Oh, now you talking my language!

[door shuts]

Ooh. Come on over here.

Look at you looking all sexy

in your chef outfit.

Oh, thank you. You looking all handsome in your apron.

Oh, this? I stole it from Junior.

-It's real cute. -Thank you, baby.

No, it is not!

Yes, it is. Look at him.

It's not cute.

Fraternizing is not allowed on company time.

Oh, Pops, we was just taking a little break.

I know what you trying to do, Calvin.

But you are distracting my assistant.

I'm sorry, Mr. Payne, but he was not distracting me.

-Oh, yeah? Prove it. -Not at all.

The sauce is simmering on the stove.

The chicken and brisket are ready

to come out the oven in five minutes

and the burgers are ready to come off the grill now.

Boom!

-Oh, you told him, baby. -Yes, I did.

Okay, okay.

C.J., where you been?

Man, I sent Calvin out here to get more burgers, man,

and now we're out!

Oh, my bad, I got distracted by the sexy assistant.

I'm gettin' them.

Don't worry about it, Unc. All right? We got it covered.

All right.

I think they're calling out here.

All right, I'm on it.

Ooh. Okay.

All right. These are good.

You know what? I'ma tell you this.

Good help is hard to find.

But I'm glad to say you are an excellent assistant.

Well, of course besides you and Calvin

getting freaky by the meats.

Okay. But thank you. That really means a lot.

You welcome.

What about me? Am I good?

Yeah, keep going, son. Keep going.

Lookit, let me show you how to properly sauce the ribs.

-Okay. All right. -Let's do this.

-Let's do this. -Let's do it.

Let's make it happen. Okay.

Uh, first, let me get these right here.

-Okay. Okay. -You can't be afraid.

Okay, let it bathe.

Gotta swim in it.

Put it here.

The sauce. Woah!

That's how you do that?

-Okay. -That's how we do that.

-[Curtis] Okay. You sauce it up. -[Janine] All right.

Yes, sir.

Don't get nothing, whatever you do,

don't get nothing on these.

This is why we got complaints because of this right here.

What you talking about? What kind of complaints?

The people are saying that the sauce

is overpowering the meat, all right?

And from the looks of things, I tend to agree.

So, look, can you just pull back on the sauce?

There's too much sauce on the meat.

What are you talking about?

This is how I cook my food, okay?

Okay, that's fine and everything,

but people like to at least taste the meat

under that sea of sauce, all right?

Well, Floyd, maybe if you would spend more money

on quality meats,

then I wouldn't have to bathe them

in my heavenly goodness.

Well, if you and your little sous chef over there

would just kinda pull back on the sauce,

then we wouldn't have so many complaints

because we are losing money.

-"Assistant." -"Assistant."

-She's the assistant. -"Assistant."

Well, let me assist you in doing that.

We need to wipe these down or something.

-You need to... -[all gasping]

[yelling]

[Ooohs and yells]

That is my cue to leave.

My bad, man. It was an accident.

I was just reaching for the can just like this

and I was trying to help you with...

[indistinct]

No, you didn't.

Yes, and I did it on purpose too.

Okay, okay, now y'all listen, listen.

Listen, listen now y'all... Floyd!

Floyd, stop, stop!

Y'all gotta relax. Now, listen!

Touchdown! Touchdown!

No, don't use that!

[screaming]

How about some brisket?

-[Janine screaming] -[men grunting]

You want some brisket, I got some brisket for you!

Hey! What is happening? Stop it!

Hey, Floyd!

No! Don't touch me! Don't touch me!

Get your hands off of this!

What is happening in here?

He started it!

No, I did not!

I do not care who started it!

Both of y'all are wrong!

Y'all are so wrong.

Y'all are business partners,

and y'all shouldn't be acting like this!

Exactly, Uncle Curtis.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

He started it when he messed up

my brand-new designer jacket!

It was an accident!

-No, it was not! -It was too!

Stop it! Stop it! Stop!

[indistinct]

Floyd, you go into that room

and think about what you did

and, Uncle Curtis, you go outside...

I ain't even start it!

And you sit in the corner.

-I didn't start it! -And think about what you did.

You did too!

Get out! Both of y'all!

You better leave.

[Jazmine] Slipping and sliding around the kitchen.

Girl, look at this mess!

We gotta clean this up before Ms. Ella gets back.

She gonna kill all of us.

She gonna kill every last one of us.

Malik, ooh. [chuckles]

If Uncle Curtis calls, you never saw me.

What you doing? Running away?

Yes. Yes, he started yelling at me

from his bedroom window, of all places.

Well, why was he doing that?

I don't know.

Something about an argument with Floyd

and this and that, and I was just so...

Hello.

Hey, what's going on with you?

How'd the meeting with the councilman go?

Um, it went. It went well, I guess.

You guess? Why you guess?

Well, I mean, I have the chance

to do something to actually get a promotion.

Malik, that's great.

That's wonderful. Okay, so what do you gotta do?

See, that's my dilemma.

He wants me to expose the opponent's daughter.

Apparently, she has a drinking problem,

and we got her on video, getting wasted.

I see.

All right.

So on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is it?

Off the charts. Yeah.

I mean, if this footage gets released,

it can completely destroy this girl's life.

But on the other hand, I mean,

it might give us momentum to change the public's view

and their opinion about Grady Delshire.

So I'm tasked with the job

of coming up with the smear campaign.

Wow.

I am grateful social media was not around

when I went through my moment of darkness.

People don't like to let you forget

when you mess up in life.

Those are the cons of social media.

Yeah.

Malik, we all have a past. We all need grace.

You now have the power

to severely alter this young lady's life.

Now, I can't tell you what to do with that power,

but if I was her,

and if you recall, at one point, I was...

I would greatly appreciate some compassion.

Thanks, Mom.

You never saw me.

I got you.

Oh, yes, God, I'm so glad.

Hey, Aunty!

Hello, hello! Where's everybody?

How was shopping is the better question.

-Right? -You know what?

I got a few things. I got some things.

-[Jazmine] Okay. -But we had to cut

our little trip short.

Glo got some phone call

about a neighborhood disturbance, so...

Yeah, well, unfortunately, Colby Jack

had to stop promoting on his page

because things was just getting out of hand.

Oh, is that why Floyd is out there,

pacing around the food truck, talking to himself?

Yeah, uh, he's probably trying to calm himself down right now.

Mm, from what?

The little food fight he had with Uncle Curtis.

A food fight?

Look at her shirt. You see all that?

A food fight? Where?

[Both] In here.

You lyin' to me? [chuckles]

No, no, no wet food in here.

Not in my kitchen, I know that!

Hey, hey, Aunty, you have nothing to worry about, okay?

-We got it all handled. -Right.

We made it look nice and clean for you, spick and span.

It looks like it. Thank you.

Thank you, thank you. Where's the chef?

I sent him outside for his bad behavior.

Bad...

Yes, ma'am. He out there waiting on you.

-A food fight? -Go get him, Aunty.

Get him!

Jazmine. Really?

How'd everything go, Curtis?

I don't even wanna talk about it.

Okay.

Ella, can you believe Floyd disrespected my sauce?

How, Curtis?

We had this little itty bitty little itty bitty complaint.

Somebody talking about the sauce overpowering the meat.

Something.

And do you know he gonna try to tell me how to dress the meat?

You mean like put clothes on it?

Exactly.

Only he wanted it to be half-naked.

Disrespected my judgement, Ella, and I'm sick of it!

Okay, I hear you. I get it.

You two keep having the same problems, baby.

I think you need to just stop

and do a serious assessment

about your partnership.

What are you trying to say, Ella?

Maybe you two don't need to be in business together.

Same problems, over and over and over and over.

Baby, no.

For the sake of your friendship,

I think the two of you, ha,

just need to go your separate ways.

You know what?

I think...

Curtis.

No. You're right. This time.

I think that would be the right thing to do this time.

Sorry to show up with my hands full, Payne.

It's all right. I got you.

I had to get me a plate from the food truck

before they closed.

That food was delicious.

The sauce was a little overbearing

but good, overall.

Well, that's my Uncle Curtis.

Uh, you know what?

I wanted to talk to you about that conversation

that we were having earlier. Um.

All right, let's hear it.

It sort of think there might be a better approach to it.

-Oh, yeah? -Yeah.

-Let's hear it. -See, here's what you do.

You ask to meet with Delshire by himself

in private, away from the media, okay?

You get him there, you show him the video.

Of course you know how he's gonna react.

He's gonna be embarrassed about it.

But you let him know, "Hey,

"I don't even have to go that low.

"You see, I'm better than that.

"When I got the power to destroy someone,

"and I choose not to use it,

"the power is in my control.

"And you don't have to do that. You don't have to win that way.

"You're better than that.

"And if you really care about this,

we gonna run an honest race. I'll delete this video."

Yeah. Yeah, you sure?

I'm sure.

People will disregard Grady's entire campaign altogether

when they find out what kind of lifestyle his daughter lives.

And the people have a right to know.

They do. They do have a right to know.

But think about this.

What if it backfires?

Now, look, we both know

that this girl has a problem.

But broadcasting it all over the world,

people might say you're insensitive.

You don't want that.

This is what you could do.

Win by actually showing compassion.

And you let him know that.

Mm, I like the way you think, Payne.

[both chuckling]

I need more people like you around me.

Yeah.

-Well done. -Thank you, sir.

Let me get out of here.

[both laughing]

And, hopefully, that sauce is better next time.

Oh-ho, I bet it is.

Your friendship is more important

than all of this drama.

You right, Ella.

Friendship before business.

I'm good with that.

So how much did we make on the barbecue, Floyd?

Uh. I made some money.

Well, you know whatever you made, I get half of it.

Uh, we don't do the 50-50 split

until I get paid my investment back.

We just signed the contract.

Well, the contract hasn't been filed yet, Floyd.

What's that supposed to mean?

Supposed to mean I'm getting my 50-50.

-Hand it over. -No!

You don't get 50-50

until I get 100% back on my investment.

We ain't filed the contract yet, Floyd.

That means I get 50% of what we made.

No, you ain't put in no money, you don't get none out

until I get mine back.

Put in the money? I put in the recipe.

I put in the skills. I put in the cooking.

It was my family cooking up a storm, working hard.

Sweating!

So what? I can't pay nothing with no sweat.

You gotta give me everything

that comes in the door

before I'm able to give you anything in return.

Oh, shut the hell up and give me my money.

[music]

[music]

[music]

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