Original subtitles

♪ Tubi, Tubi ♪

(Monica): Previously, On The Z Suite...

- Just came in to make sure you're ready for the Magma

pitch tomorrow. - Do I know what I'm doing?

- No. - Gen Z has ruined this country.

Ruined! I hate them so much. I hate them.

Ugh!

- Monica. - Hmm?

- I'm gonna tell you what I told Paula Deen in 2013...

You're cooked.

- I know you'll find your way back into the game.

Let's have dinner. Talk about your next step.

- Please, Kriska, let me service the existing accounts.

I live to serve. - Okay, okay. They're yours,

Minnesota Matt. They're yours.

(scoffing) - You won't regret this.

- You will regret this.

- Looks like we have a new campaign.

(Kriska squealing)

- Doug, we're starting our own agency.

(rhythmic music)

- These are from the folks at Magma.

- Oh, my god.

They like like us, you guys! It's almost as if

we're crushing this job.

- Thanks to Atelier, men all over the world

will be able to proudly discuss their dong dysfunction.

- I just came for the paycheck, but look at us now...

saving lives. (grunts approvingly)

- Kriska? Your call with George is about to start.

- Oh, George! We love George!

(computer dings)

George, how's your tennis game going?

- Blew out my elbow.

My wife has to help me into the bath.

She keeps talking about my heinie.

Baby talks while she does it.

(muttering): Hot. - It's a nightmare.

- My bad. - So,

when can I see a mock-up of my Super Bowl commercial?

(whispering): When is football?

- Girl. - You know, I approved

the concept weeks ago.

Monica would've had a mock commercial ready

in about ten days. Sometimes three!

I need to see a proof of concept

before I can sink millions of dollars into this campaign.

- Absolutely, and you are in good hands, George.

You know, prior to becoming CEO,

I literally created thousands of TikToks promoting brands.

- So basically little online commercials--

- But what she was really doing George,

was promoting the thing she believed in most

in the world:

she sold herself on the internet.

That came out wrong.

I don't mean like OnlyFans,

although, sex work is work--

- We'll get you something by the end of the week.

Okay? Bye, George! - B... Ow!

(computer dings)

- So, I get that a mock commercial

is like a mini, fake commercial...

- Mm-hmm. - But how do we make that?

Like, officially?

- Mmm... (Elliot clicking tongue)

- Annabelle!

Hi, hun. - Mm-mm.

What can you tell us about industry mock commercials?

- You should look at what's in our client files.

Monica and Doug's old mock commercials are in there.

- Do we really wanna poison our brain

with their geriatric stank?

- Great point. You know what? We just need a creative session.

Clem, you're an artist. How do you get inspired?

- Porn and pie.

And nature.

- If anybody needs me,

I'll be in all-gender restroom,

primal screaming.

- Love you, bye!

- Okay. We're not doing porn...

- AW... - But take the corporate card

and get some pie.

Oh, homemade, please. - Mm-hmm.

- Gluten free! - Mm-hmm!

- Clem! Vegan, if possible! - Okay, so... not pie.

- Elliot, do you still talk to that nature harpist?

- We never spoke. Just transcended

time and space together. - Romantic.

- Also, he died. - Oh.

- But he has a Spotify. - Ooh!

(theme music)

(rhythmic music)

(sirens wailing)

(hostess): Bennet Buffy? Just over there.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

(soft jazzy piano music) - Hi!

Oh, please, don't get up.

- Are you sure? - Yes.

- I mean, I've already got up. - Alright, well then,

stay there. Good? (chuckling)

- I'm gonna get down. - Okay.

- Surprised you showed up. - Oh, well...

not too many people in town brave enough

to be seen with me publicly. - Aww.

- Plus, seeing you always makes me feel...

smarter and more attractive.

- Insult me all you want, babe,

but I've never seen you looking so desperate.

And I watched you outbid a Make-a-Wish kid

for a brunch with Alex Rodriguez.

- Oh, I'm not desperate, babe.

I'm just... finding my way.

- Well, maybe I can help you with that.

- Really? You'd be willing to help me even after...

- After you got me kicked out of Atelier

and stole my promotion. - Well, I'm not the moron

who slept with Oliver's girlfriend.

- And you didn't need to tell him.

- I think, in the grand scheme of things,

it worked out okay. I mean, look at you now.

- I mean you're not wrong. I'm hotter than ever.

Although, I do wanna get my earlobes reduced.

- Huh? - Don't look at them.

- Oh.

- Look, it took me a while to get out of that hole

you dug me. But you started me down the path

to running my own agency.

So, consider this meal my payback.

- Oh, what are we? Friends now?

- These days, we've got more in common than not.

Particularly this cancel culture generation

that are trying to kick us to the curb.

(grunting) Look, Mon.

I really do feel bad for you.

- Don't. Ugh. Sympathy enrages me.

Especially coming from someone who dresses like

he wants to smell like belts.

(Monica sighing) - Oh...

- Anyway, Doug and I

are starting our own company,

and... (scoffing)

I could use your help.

- Oh.

- If you have any leads...

I'd really appreciate it.

- You know, I can think of one client

that's really looking for an agency right now.

But they are so beneath you.

- Well, I'll be the judge of that.

- Are you sure? Because I think you're pretty classy.

- I'll take anything. Just give it to me.

- It's Pig Feed International.

(gasping) - Oh, God.

(snorts like a pig)

And, believe me, the owner,

he looks like an extra from Deliverance.

But if you get them, it'll be good money.

It'll be a solid foundation for you.

(sighing)

(groaning)

- Thank you... Buffy.

Just know that when my agency gets on its feet,

I will be going after your clients.

- Aw, selfish, predatory,

and deeply, deeply honest.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

(Monica chuckling)

(Bennet slurping loudly)

Oh! Got a bit on my trousers.

(rhythmic music)

- I think we should focus on the basics

of what Monica and I pitched,

but tweak it and Gen Z-ify it more for George.

- Okay, so we need a tour bus,

a band, a desert,

Olivia Rodrigo, and then a... stadium concert?

- Mm, how are we gonna pay for all of that?

Need I remind you, I bought a sauna

for the storage room?

(sighing)

Oh. I bought a sauna for the storage room.

- Okay, well, maybe we just focus on the concert.

And we can use a green screen. - Yes!

Lights, colors, beats.

(imitating beats)

- Ooh... (Elliot vocalizing)

- You know what? We can scale it way down.

Shoot it here in the office and cast our own people in it.

(Elliot gasping) - So... who's gonna play Olivia?

- Maybe Kriska?

- A truly inspired suggestion.

Thank you, Clem, but, no.

CEO, I have to give the appearance of fairness.

Can't just pick myself. - Great, I'll do it.

- We'll have a panel of judges pick between the two of us.

- Mm... - Uh-huh...

And who's gonna pick the panel?

- Me. I'm the boss.

(scoffing)

- I can't wait to see how this turns out.

(rhythmic music)

(cars honking)

- Pig Feed International. Squeal with joy!

(pigs squealing)

- Well, Ambrose, I hope our presentation

gave you some insight into what we have to offer

in a competitive industry like yours.

- It is tough out there, you know.

- Yes. - We are always trying to get

over the misconception that we only sell Pig Feed.

(Monica scoffing) - I can see how that's

been a challenge, considering that the company's

name is Pig Feed International. (chuckling)

- Yes, but we do feed for all kinds of livestock.

It's only called Pig Feed International

because my papa's last name was Pig.

So it's Pig... Feed... International,

not Pig Feed International.

Hear the difference? - Well, that makes a lot

of sense to me. - Very enlightening.

Thank you. - Mm-hmm.

We will definitely make it clear

that your company sells more than just feed for pigs.

I've got that now. - Absolutely.

- Good. You've got yourself a deal.

(Doug squeals) - Oh! Thank you so much!

We're gonna make Papa Pig proud.

(pig snorting)

- You know, I wasn't sure I was gonna sign with you.

I get kinda turned off by all them big-city New York types.

- I hear you.

- I tried doing business with your old company,

but some account guy just kept saying,

"Boo-yah" to all my suggestions.

It just wasn't professional. I think his name was Matt.

- I'm so sorry to hear that. - Yeah, Matt.

- Mm-hmm. - Interesting.

- Now I expect you to keep your promise

and come down to see the plant and the stock yards.

You can stay with me at my house.

You two can share a bed, right?

- Such a generous offer. - Yes, thank you!

(chuckling) - Lemme ask you something.

- Mm-hmm?

- Thems your real teeth?

- They are. Goodbye now.

(chuckling)

- Hey, did you hear what he said?

- Yes. You can't tell they're all crowns, can you?

- No. About Matt! If they've got that doofus

handling clients, I bet we could easily steal them back.

- Easily. (Monica gasping excitedly)

(rhythmic music)

- Auditionees, step forward,

tell your name to the director.

- Wassup!

(sighing) - Any interesting fact

about yourself and why

you are most qualified to play Olivia.

- Oh... okay.

- Hi, I'm Kriska Thomson,

and my interesting fact is every club I've ever been in,

I've been elected president. And I have never

been broken up with before.

- Count your lucky stars. - And I am qualified

to play Olivia because someone at a bank once asked

if I was a model. And I think if you can be pretty

at a bank, you can be pretty anywhere.

- That's right. - She's so right.

- So I clearly have star quality.

- We'll be the judge of that. (chuckling)

- Elliot. The Committee would like to hear from you now

(clearing throat)

- Hi, I'm Elliot Spencer, and my interesting fact

is I used to work in retail,

and someone once took a dump in my fitting room.

Also, I've performed off Broadway,

so I'm very qualified to play Olivia.

- Okay, you did not perform off Broadway.

You performed drag at a bar called Off Broadway.

- Oh, you're coming for me?

You don't want me to clock your tea,

because I can say something very embarrassing

about you right now. - Oh, please,

you don't have anything on me, Elliot.

- Oh, no? - No!

- Oh, no? - No!

- Uh-oh. - Elliot...

- Kriska. - Elliot!

- Kriska! - You wouldn't!

- I would! Kriska still has a Facebook account.

(gasping) - Even I got rid of Facebook.

- Well, I'm only on it to see who's died!

- Uh, she still posts statuses.

- Enough!

I've always wanted to do that. (chuckling)

Please allow the Committee time to discuss.

This will take hours.

(muttering together): Elliot.

- Elliot, condragulations.

- Ugh! Honestly, are we surprised?

I met the prompt flawlessly.

Welcome to my winning era!

- Your winning era starts tomorrow.

Everyone, get a full eight and back here for a 10,

10:30 call time.

- We'll start at six... AM.

- Boo.

(city soundscape)

(rhythmic music)

- You sure he's even in there? - You saw the post.

- What's up, guys? I'm about to get

absolutely wrecked by a cycle po--

(squealing)

I'm about to get absolutely wrecked

by a cycle power class.

Hoo-hoo-hoo!

(gasping, chuckling) - There he is! There he is.

Oh, oh!

- Oh, god. His shorts

are even tighter in person. - Hey.

Matt? - Okay, he's...

Oh, he's crossing the street, he's crossing the street.

- Get him, get him, get him.

- Matt? Matt, hi! (laughing)

- Matt!

- Monica! - Hi!

- Doug! What-- - Funny bumping into you here.

- Yeah! What are you doing here? - Oh...

Shopping. - Hitting the gym.

Shopping. - We got... so much stuff.

- Yes. - Well, where are your

shopping bags?

(chuckling)

- It's what I love about you, Matt.

- Aw. - You're so observant.

- You love things about me?

- Yeah! - So many things!

(chuckling) - What... what else?

- I like the way you... don't tan.

You got-- - Just a lot of freckles

hanging out and touching each other.

- Mm-hmm. Yeah, like a...

like a rotting pear.

- So, Matt. How are things at Atelier?

Are you enjoying the fresh approach of the new regime?

- No diggity, no doubt! - Mm-hmm.

- How are you two doing? - Oh, we're fine,

but congratulations to you.

- Me? - Uh-huh, we heard

you have your own clients now? - Oh, yeah!

- Big responsibility! - Yeah, yeah.

- How's it going? - It's a little

fast and furious. As in, I'm working fast,

and the clients are getting furious.

- Aww. - No, why?

- I probably shouldn't share that. It's confidential.

- Come on! - Matt, it's Didi and Monmon.

You can tell us! - I mean, I am your mentor,

you know, and I...

I always have felt that white men

face such barriers to advancement these days.

- I mean, it's almost like reverse racism.

- Almost. (laughing)

- Thank you so much for acknowledging that.

- Well... - Although,

I never really knew you were mentoring me.

- What? - You'd always talk to me

the way that my mom talks to our dog.

"Stop." "No." "Out."

- Sit!

- Oh, yeah. - Please.

- Sure.

(distant sirens wailing)

Between us,

things are a little touchy with Nomnom Almonds right now.

- Mmm. - Oh, no!

- Yeah. - Why?

- A website is claiming

that a half gallon of their almond milk

only contains eight almonds.

And they keep nixing my ideas for renaming it.

- Like what? - Almost Almonds? No.

A Wee Bit of Almonds? Too Irish.

I Can't Believe It's Not Almonds! Denied.

(scoffing) - I mean, those are really

great ideas. - Mm-hmm.

- Thank you. - What's your CEO say?

- Kriska? Nothing. She's too busy

shooting a mock commercial for Boppin' Burger.

- You know, Matt. Growing almonds

is terrible for the environment.

- Mm-hmm, so bad. - What?

- You could issue a press release about

how Nomnom is actually Earth-friendly

because they use so few almonds.

That might get the public on your side.

- Mm-hmm. - Just a thought.

- Yup. - That's a great idea.

- Yeah.

- Everyone's calling you a whack hack...

- Hmm. - But I knew they were wrong.

(rhythmic music)

Ah, I gotta bounce!

(chuckling)

- Thank you, Matt!

- These are all my drag looks that are considered historic

in Washington Heights and some parts of Flushing.

- Tanya used to wear things like that.

She'd say she was going to Michael's.

I thought she meant the craft store. Turns out no.

(Elliot gasping) - I wore this

for my first drag performance.

It was my cousin's baptism

and yes, people did get splashed.

If you know what I mean.

- I'm not sure I do. - Mm-hmm, no.

(Elliot gasping) - Now this is iconic!

I wore this the first time I successfully

did a dip in front of a crowd.

Split down the crotch. My bits were everywhere, honey.

Brunch was ruined. - Did not need those details.

- Elliot, while we deeply appreciate all of your "lewks",

let's focus on the one that is most Olivia.

- Ugh. - Kriska, as the director,

I need to be in charge here, okay?

(inhaling sharply) - Elliot, while we deeply

appreciate all of your "lewks",

let's focus on the one that's most Olivia.

- Right. Right.

(rhythmic music)

- Oh, I always loved working with Nomnom Almonds, William.

And I'm so glad you finally returned my call.

- Yes, I'm sorry I didn't initially.

We were a little put off by the Ad National article.

What was with that picture?

(screaming)

(chuckling) - Just clowning around.

(steam wand whistling) - Oh, sorry.

Don't worry, former barista here.

Got it under control.

- We're at a real loss as to what to do about Atelier.

(Doug squeals) We had a PR crisis,

and Matt came up with a horrible idea

that would've sunk the company. He wanted us to admit

we basically use no almonds.

- Pfft. Environmentalists.

- Almond latte? - Now, this is client service.

- Well, as you may remember, my work is my life.

I will always take your call, no matter where I am.

- I can still hear the screams from that bris.

- Mm. Yes, well, at my new agency--

- Sweet treat? - Thank you, Doug.

- Aw! Almond cookies!

Aw, with an almond printed napkin. Delightful.

- Yes. Um, at my new agency--

- It's also an almond-shaped dish.

(gasping) - How clever.

- Thank you, Doug. Um...

So, at my new agency,

your company's best interest will always be my top priority.

- I do like the sound of that.

Are you taking on new clients?

- Are you saying you're ready for a change?

- Or, might I offer, a change back?

- Oh. (laughing)

Mm!

(rhythmic music)

(Elliot grunting)

- So, Elliot, you look fantastic,

but it is reading way too sexual.

- Kriska. I appreciate the feedback,

but I am the director, and I need you to respect that.

(Elliot): Mm-hmm. - Elliot, it looks fantastic,

but it's reading a little too sexual.

- Bill?

What do you think?

- Kriska may have a point.

I'm pretty aroused right now.

- Bill! - Elliot, do you think

you could be any less sexual?

- I know myself, and no.

- Then, I'm sorry, but we need to go in a new direction.

(blowing raspberries)

- Who do we get?

- Gee, I wonder.

(Elliot): Girl, just do it.

(Clem): You know you want to. (gasping)

- Oh. No, I couldn't.

(rhythmic music)

- Confetti.

Huge strobes.

- Strobes cause seizures.

- Now. - Okay.

- And action!

(rhythmic music)

- How am I looking?

- Well, if we're comparing you to me--

- It looks amazing. (Kriska): Thank you.

And cut!

- Kriska! Please. That's my job!

And cut!

- Thanks again, for meeting with me.

I'm telling you, I did everything you said

with Nomnom Almond. They still fired Atelier.

(Monica scoffing) Is it me?

- Yes. - No!

- Uh... no.

- You know what I think the problem is?

Your clients aren't getting to see the real you.

(snapping fingers) - I'll host a group dinner

at Medieval Times. They'll love it!

- Very original, but I think having a video call

with all of your clients is the way to go.

Video calls worked so well during the pandemic.

- Ah, Lord, take me back to the days of banana bread

and Tiger King. - Fun!

- That's another great idea.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, Monica.

I don't know how I'll ever repay you.

- Helping others is its own reward.

- Truly. - That's sweet.

(chuckling) So you got the...

- Sure, we got the check. - Okay, great.

Oh! Can't waste my milk. - Yeah!

(gulping loudly)

(Doug): Get that calcium, boy...

(grunting) - Ah...

- Okay, bye, Matt. - Group call time, here we go!

- Millennials are so embarrassing.

- Yeah, I feel bad for all of them.

They'll never be able to own a home.

- You don't own a home, Doug.

- I own many houses. (Monica scoffing)

- Christmas village doesn't count.

(rhythmic music)

(computer dings twice)

- Sorry, I thought this was a one-on-one.

- Yeah, sorry. Who are these people?

- You're all of my clients,

and I'm MC Matt.

Giving them ear-gasms with my mellow accent.

That's Blackstreet,

no copyright infringement intended.

(hip-hop song plays)

- What is happening?

- Graa, graa! - Who set this Zoom call up?

(rapping): Uh, uh! I'm not here just for a paycheck.

I'm here to show you that I'm bangin' exec.

If you want some slogans, I'll give you an array,

because I'm with you every step of the way!

If this was golf, I'd be your caddy.

If you need a spanking, I'm your ad-daddy, yeah!

(silence)

(computer dings)

- Okay... I'm out.

(chuckling) - Do you know any Macklemore?

- I sure do. He's only the godfather of rap.

(imitates record scratch) Yeah!

(♪ Fabulous by C.U.T.)

♪ Show me how you gonna work, work, work it out! ♪

♪ (Uh-huh) I hit it bad with a brand new style ♪

♪ Bring it up until the folk get wild! ♪

♪ We turnin' up all the way, all about like ♪

♪ Work, work, work it out! (Uh-huh) ♪

♪ Come and show me what you're all about! (Like what?) ♪

♪ I'ma shout it real loud and proud like woo! ♪

♪ Baby I'm fabulous! Come on ♪

(♪ Please Me by Teen Jesus and the Jean Teasers)

♪ Please me but I won't catch you if you fall ♪

♪ See me, I know you're looking after all ♪

♪ Need me waiting for you to make a call ♪

♪ Please me they're only human after all... ♪

(crowd cheering)

♪ Please me, We all know I'm a masterpiece ♪

♪ And I can't get enough of myself ♪♪

(sighing)

(clapping)

- Well...

- You definitely brought the Gen Z sensibility

we were looking for. - Yeah.

- But while there was a lot of you,

I didn't see a Boppin' Burger... anywhere.

- No, we shot the burger.

I'm sure we shot the burger.

Didn't we shoot the burger?

- The delivery driver tossed her

a whole bag of burgers.

- Oh, my god. They were in a bag.

- Monica would have given me a bright, shiny, juicy burger

that made vegans cry.

You... did not.

I'm afraid you've completely missed the mark.

(papers rustling)

We'll talk again in a few days.

- It's so nice seeing you. - Mm-hmm.

- I can't believe we forgot to show the burger!

That's like advertising 101, which I got an A in!

- Maybe we should've listened to Annabelle

and looked at Monica's-- - No, no. No. You know what?

We did this our way,

and George is just gonna come back to us

and tell us how to do it better, and it's gonna be good,

and we're good, and it's good.

- Is the good in the room with us right now?

- Seriously, I'm good, I'm good. I'm good.

I'm good. (sighing)

I. Am. Good.

- That's good, because I'm scared.

- Mm-hmm.

(rhythmic music)

- I don't understand. Nomnom, Nest Slippers,

and Heritage Oats all left the agency.

- Did they give you any feedback?

- I was told I lack self-awareness

and give off a non-threatening, but off-putting vibe

that no one can quite put their finger on.

Nothing I haven't heard before.

But with your guidance, I honestly thought

I was getting better.

- Ugh, this is a tough part of the business, Matt.

However, I have been in touch with those same clients,

and they have decided to stick with me and Doug.

- Stick with? (chuckling incredulously)

But you're at a different agency now.

(laughing) That would be poaching.

- Potato, potato. - I'm just, uh, giving my former

slash future clients continuity,

professionalism, and the benefit of my years of experience,

while everyone gets over the speed bump

that is Kriska taking the helm at Atelier.

- So...

Atelier doesn't have the clients anymore.

(both): No.

- And you guys do.

(both): Yes.

- So... just to be clear,

you pretended to like me just so you could trick me?

- I'm sorry, Matt. It's not personal.

It's just business.

(♪ Work To do by The Isley Brothers)

- Am I gonna get fired?

- That's a question for your CEO.

- And I'll bet she has a lot of questions for you.

(both chuckling)

(rhythmic music)

Subtitling: difuze

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