Original subtitles

(tubi jingle)

(thumping against glass) - Previously on: The Z-Suite.

- Hello?

- Z Suite is out. Gen Z... is in.

- They made it very clear that we were fired.

- I found that meeting to be pretty ambiguous.

- Security took out fingerprints before we left.

- God, I cannot believe how much trained for this space!

- There's a ball pit! (excited scream)

- What is that? - A llama.

- Oh, no. - You know what?

You're alright. (singing)

- Yo! Welcome to the silent disco.

(rhythmic music)

- I come by the office to beef up security

because my former CEO is acting nuts.

And what do I find?

My current CEO acting nuts.

- I know how this looks,

but we actually had a very productive day.

(yelling and laughing)

- Oliver.

- Who is that? - Minnesota Matt.

- Does he even work here?

- No... yeah.

- Did I make a mistake in promoting you, Krispie?

- No, no, sir, you did not.

- Well then, you and Thing One

and Thing Two better start acting like Z Suite executives.

We can't afford another scandal in this agency.

Next time I drop by this office,

I'd better not find another bacchanal.

Wild sex party!

(rhythmic music)

- Oliver. - No.

(weak sigh)

(♪ I Ran (So Far Away) by Flock Of Seagulls)

(vacuum whirring)

- Monica?

- Doug!

- You're cleaning your own place.

- Uh-huh. - Oh, God. This can't be good.

I see that you bought some snacks... in bulk.

- Grab a cheese puff!

- I think you're still going

through the stages of grief.

- What?

(loudly): The stages of grief!

Like this is... depression?

- Oh, no, no, no, Doug. I am fine.

See, I needed something to do

now that I've stopped working,

so I fired the housekeeper

and I've taken up cleaning.

And, oh, as a side benefit,

I rediscovered new wave music.

(laughing)

- Okay...

Veronica Rubbensval's bat mitzvah?

We're not attending, are we?

(huffing): Since her dad refused

to take my calls when I went grovelling to him for work...

Yes. We are going.

I'll confront him in person.

Plus, you know, it's better not to drink alone.

- I don't think that's a good idea.

- Oh, no. I'm fine! - Oh, Jesus.

It's 9 AM.

(music stops) Monica.

You're wearing sweats...

...with...

...a drawstring.

- Oh... God.

(sighing)

You're right.

It's over.

Work was my life.

When they took that away...

...it killed me.

- Aww, sweetie.

Please, don't drink that.

Oh, she's drinking it. Okay...

(rhythmic music)

- Oliver is like, really mad about the silent disco

and I don't know, it's just got me shook.

(huffing loudly)

Do I know what I'm doing?

- No.

What? You don't.

But literally nobody does

unless they're like a pediatric cardiologist.

Everyone is faking it until they make it.

- To quote the late, great Kiki Palmer--

- No, no, babe. She's... she's still with us.

- Oh. Damn. - Mm-hmm.

- Alright. To quote the currently alive Kiki Palmer:

"I don't know this man.

He could be walking down the street

and I wouldn't know a thing.

Sorry to this man."

Where's the Kriska I always looked up to?

The one, who at freshman orientation ice cream social

got everyone chatting and feeling connected.

Even the ones with IBS who couldn't eat dairy.

- Yes. - You were born for this.

- I know that's right. - This is what you do.

- Thanks, guys, I got this.

(thumping loudly) - What's this?

- The daily binder. It's Monica's schedule for the day.

- But... but this is insane.

This is like five Cheesecake Factory menus. Annabelle!

You know what? You know, it's fine.

I'm gonna spend today plowing through this.

Elliot, I am placing you in charge of the budget, AKA CFO.

- Which stands for...?

- Chief Financial Officer.

- I don't like chief.

It's giving appropriation.

How about Cute Financial Officer?

- Great, love it!

And Clem, you are in charge

of overseeing departments, AKA COO.

- Charismatic Operations Officer. - Oh.

- It makes sense I'd be in charge of rizz.

- Oh.

- Fake it till we make it.

We've got this, guys, it's gonna be great!

- Okay. - That's really good.

(laughing)

You know what you're doing? - No. You?

- Not a damn clue.

- Do you know what this is?

- Your second alcoholic drink in 10 minutes?

- It's a Shapiro LaFayette Cabernet.

Retails for $2,300 a bottle.

- Hmm.

- It's gorgeous. It's got this deep ruby-plum colour.

It's full of smoke and herbs.

Just the smallest hint of pen ink.

And you know how it comes by these exquisite attributes?

- The wine maker's feet?

- Time. (whispering): Time.

- It's bottled in 1970

and the longer it ages,

the stronger its flavours grow...

...the deeper its colours turn.

Becomes more complex.

- That was beautiful, Monica.

And it would make an amazing copy.

(laptop dings) Oh!

(exhaling)

Yeah! We're trending.

- Monica Marks deserves to be in jail for this ad!

- Monica Marks is everything that is wrong with this country.

She is the reason people hate America.

- Monica Marks lives at 949 Hubert Street.

(gasping)

- Oh! They have my address?

That's crazy.

And why do you get off scot-free?

- And also, Doug Garcia

looks like the very hungry caterpillar,

if the very hungry caterpillar had the face of Kim Jong Un.

- I'm not even Korean!

- Enough. It's one thing for them to disparage our ad.

It's another thing to defame us personally.

- What are you doing?

- First, I'm going to take a shower.

I do not smell good.

Then, I'm gonna find a way

to fight back.

They can't cancel us!

I'm gonna restore our good names

and bring us back to the top.

- That's the Monica Marks I know!

(Christmas jingle)

Sorry, just have to take this.

Hi, this is Doug. How can I make your dreams come true?

- Who's that? - I had to take a job

as an online concierge.

Just... until we get our jobs back.

Absolutely, we can get some chimpanzees.

Now, I must warn you, they will rip off your face.

Now, how much do you like the people going to your party?

Your in-laws, okay, I get it.

(rhythmic music)

(pen scratching on paper)

- Hey, Annabelle. I started highlighting

the important stuff, and now... ...everything is highlighted.

- You have an urgent phone call from Fiber Move.

They're really angry about your auto-reply email.

- What, why?

- "Hi, this is Kriska, the new CEO.

Per my therapist, I will be taking some time to...

...calibrate to my new position

and will not be responding to emails

for the next two to three weeks.

Peace and kiss emoji."

- Yeah.

- You're ignoring clients that pay

this agency millions of dollars.

- That was for my mental health, okay?

And I refuse to apologize for that.

- They're threatening to call Oliver.

- Again, I apologize profusely

and I'm so excited to find out

that colorectal cancer awareness month is just around the corner.

We'll start working on a social media angle A.S.A.P.

(mobile phone beeps)

Find out what Fiber Moves is.

(phone beeps)

(rhythmic music)

- I'm so delighted that you called me.

What can I do for you?

- Well, Trish,

you're the best publicist in New York city,

so tell me, how can I rehabilitate my image?

(sighing): When it comes to being cancelled,

I tell all my clients the same thing.

Go to Confession.

- Confession?

- Forgive me world, for I have sinned.

An apology.

On camera, of course.

God doesn't absolve you

of your sins anymore.

TikTok does.

(rhythmic music)

(sighing)

- So, Bill, I know you're an account executive,

but what's the tea on budgets?

(office hubbub) - The... tea?

As in... what are they?

- Yes, Bill. - Okay, well.

A budget is a predetermined limit on spending.

Have you... never cut an expense

because you just couldn't afford it?

- No.

- Okay. As an example,

uh, when I discovered that Tanya

had cleaned out all my bank accounts

to go shack up with Gordo,

who, by the way,

sells pineapples out of the back of his pickup.

I had to limit my spending.

So, I ate ramen...

...for three years.

(gasping)

- Oh, that's dark, Bill,

and not in a good way.

- This...

...is the agency's budget.

When you see red,

that's a line item that's over budget.

- Oh... Oh, my.

This is egregious.

Whoever's in charge of the discretionary department

is in trouble.

- Discretionary is not a department,

and it's over budget

because you and Clem redecorated the office

and threw a churro and llama party.

The llama alone cost $10,000.

Plus, medical expenses.

- Mmm. So, if I'm hearing you correctly,

we need to start eating ramen.

- Well... - Okay, I got it.

We'll sell the office furniture on Facebook Marketplace

and advertise it as mid-century modern. Oh!

The millennials are gonna come in droves.

Yes.

(rhythmic music)

- I sincerely apologize for the ad's slogan,

which I have come to realize was insensitive.

While I meant no harm,

I was wrong and moving forward,

I intend to be more empathetic in my thoughts and actions.

I am truly sorry.

Thank you.

- And... scene!

Perfect and you look fabulous.

(scoffing): I feel disgusting, dirty.

What am I? A grown woman

apologizing to children?

(childish groans): "I'm so sorry,

I did one thing wrong and now you're gonna cancel me?"

Gen Z has ruined this country.

I hate them, I hate them! I hate them!

(huffing loudly) (Doug): Oh...

Monica, remember when I had to push the 'Go Live' button

in order to start the livestream?

- Yeah. - Uh, well, funny thing.

Uh, seems like my stubby baby carrot fingers actually missed the button

and we weren't livestreaming your apology.

We were livestreaming everything after that.

Still don't know how to turn this thing off.

Not responding to my touch. I don't know what to do.

- We're live right now?

- Yes. - Doug, turn it off.

Turn it off, turn it off!

- I'm trying to figure it-- - Give it--

(knocking on glass)

(mouth full): I'm working.

- I can see you.

- Oh!

Oh, my god.

- Come in. - Okay.

Hi, Clem, uh,

I was told I should talk to you

about a problem that I'm having?

- Why? - Because it's your job.

- Of course. - I...

...help...

...you...you...you...

- What are you doing?

- I forgot that only works on Zoom.

(chuckling): Annabelle, take a seat.

- Okay, um.

Oh.

Uh.... I, um...

I have to make a lot of copies for Matt.

- That sucks. Working with him is the worst.

- That is not the problem.

- Okay.

- Um, he's asking me to make a lot

of personal copies for him.

The other day a client almost ended up

with a Dungeons & Dragons sheet.

Apparently, Matt's character is a lizard person

who spits his teeth like bullets.

I just want it to stop.

- I bet. Well, thanks for sharing.

- No, no. I need you to mediate this.

- Oh. Okay.

Then, yeah, sure. I can do this.

You're both in departments

and I'm in charge of departments.

So...

Okay.

My mom says you two should hug it out.

Annabelle, do you consent to a hug from Minnesota Matt?

- Absolutely not.

- Okay. That's your choice.

My job here is done.

I'm gonna give you two the space

and you can leave whenever you feel ready.

Alright?

(door opens and closes)

(chair scrapping)

(huffing): Whatever, I'll just make your stupid copies.

- Great! Great, I'm gonna send you a JPEG.

It's a photo of me in a wizard outfit.

It was made for a woman, but I sewed up the thigh slip.

(chuckling)

I need 30 coloured copies.

(rhythmic music)

- Gen Z has ruined this country.

Ruined! I hate them so much,

I hate them!

(scoffing)

- Monica. - Mm-hmm?

- I'm gonna tell you what I told Paula Deen in 2013.

You're cooked.

(whispering): Take care.

- Wait, hold on! What?

There must be something we can do?

- Well, we could try the drug addict approach.

- Oh, yes! Let's do that! How do we do that?

- We alter the public's perception

by getting you into therapy,

acknowledging that you have a problem and...

...a desire to change.

- I mean, the word problem

feels a little strong, but okay.

(rhythmic music)

- Okay.

- Monica's binder. I couldn't even finish...

...I ran out of highlighters!

- Dude, I thought this day would never end.

- It hasn't. It's only... 2:30.

- Girl, this must be one of those parts of the world

where time doesn't exist.

Like the Barbados Triangle?

- Huh, and the DMV.

- Just came in to make sure you're ready

for the Magma pitch, tomorrow.

- What Magma pitch?

- It's in the daily binder.

- What, no!

But I'm, I'm already working on Boppin' Burger

and I'm servicing existing accounts.

FYI, Fiber Move wants to put a giant colon

in downtown Chicago as a marketing stunt.

Can someone please explain to me

how I'm supposed to prepare a pitch

for an erectile dysfunction drug?

On top of all of this?

- I can do it!

I can do it. I can service existing accounts.

Please, Kriska, let me service the existing accounts.

- I live to service. - Okay, okay.

They're yours, Minnesota Matt.

They're yours.

(scoffing)

- You won't regret this.

- You will regret this.

One time, he met with a client,

he tried to do a backflip.

He hurt himself so bad,

he had to pee sitting down for a year.

- How do you know that?

- Okay, but I have to delegate.

Now, what do we do about this pitch?

- Monica and Doug have been working

on the deck for weeks.

I have a copy in my desk.

(rhythmic music)

And... they took it.

- I can call Monica.

Right, right. No.

Uh, forget I said that.

What about... what about Doug?

Elliot, could you talk to him?

- Oh, why? Because I'm gay?

(scoffing)

Yeah, I can talk to him.

- Great. And in case that doesn't work,

I will focus on researching Magma,

and Clem, you do a focus group.

- Mm-hmm. Yes, yeah. Remind me?

- You know, you'll get Magma consumers' thoughts

on erectile dysfunction.

- They're probably thinking:

"Why won't my dick work?"

(chuckling)

(blowing raspberries)

- That's...

- Mm-hmm. (sighing)

Perfect.

(pill bottle rattles)

- Would you like this little cottage?

You can paint the shutters a different colour...

you can get another gazebo!

And, no, we don't have to invite the gingerbread men.

You and Ms. Tiny Claus got into another fight--

- Hey, you.

- Elliot! How did you find me here?

- Oh, this is far too much Christmas.

Uh... Grindr.

I set the filters to 40 to 50 years old

and twink and you were the only one that popped up.

- Grindr? Oh, somebody must have hacked me, I...

- Mm-hmm.

Any chance you can do me a little favour?

We have this Magma pitch coming up

and I was wondering if you'd be

...so kind to let me borrow the deck

that you and Monica were working on?

(sighing): I'd love to help, Elliot. I really would.

I remember what it was like to be young

and trying to make my mark in this city.

But I have to be loyal to Monica. I'm sorry.

- I'm just looking out for my girl too.

- Yeah.

- Hey, I know you didn't put Grindr on your phone,

but if you did...

I would tell you to give me your phone.

Mm-hmm.

And I would download the latest new app,

Man Buffet.

It's all you can eat, girl.

And I'd write you a killer profile.

- Would you? - Yeah.

- Maybe don't say that I do community theatre.

It really hasn't gotten the traction it deserves.

- Okay.

(rhythmic music)

- "You're Not the Only One."

(chuckling nervously): Sir, I'm really excited

to be taking the helm on ReliefH cream.

And, don't worry.

I'll try not to be a pain in the ass.

(chuckling)

- Well, it seems like you are going

to be a real hemorrhoid.

- Central to your business

and essential to its continued success.

Sir, I intend to be the biggest hemorrhoid you've ever had.

- Okay.

(rhythmic music)

- Trish told me you created an ad

that caused quite a bit of backlash.

Followed that with a livestream

about how much you hate an entire generation.

- It's an overly simplified version, but sure.

- I assume you're here to discuss the underlying cause

of your lack of empathy and understanding,

and make some changes to remedy that.

- Do you know the story of Marlboro cigarettes?

- I can't say that I do.

- Well, Marlboro started out as a woman's cigarette.

And then scientists figured out cigarettes cause cancer,

so Marlboro started saying their filters

help keep out those nasty toxic carcinogens.

And sales went up, but not with men.

So they have a... a girly cigarette and an image problem.

What to do?

Ta-da!

The Marlboro man.

And like magic, a decent-selling girly cigarette

became the best-selling manly man cigarette in the world.

And they did that all without changing a single thing.

- So, if I'm understanding you correctly,

you want to remain toxic and cancerous

while tricking people into believing you're not?

- Look, all I need from you

is a statement telling the public that I'm healed.

- Okay. Get out.

(rhythmic music)

- Now, as a former ChapStick lesbian

turned soft butch, hard top,

I've never experienced erectile dysfunction

because I use a strap-on.

- You lost me somewhere between now and strap-on, but okay.

- So, who cannot get it up?

(throat clearing)

I hope it goes without saying, this is a safe space, okay?

Nothing leaves this office.

Johnathan? Can you get it up?

You got a sad little... schlong there?

Barry? Does your peepee work?

- Sorry, Clem.

Looks like nobody's comfortable talking

about their penises not working.

I'd contribute myself,

but I'm fully erect at this very moment.

- Okay, Bill.

Hey, the focus group went great!

I can confidently report

that Bill's khakis do not hide his erection.

And the older men are incredibly anxious

about discussing erectile dysfunction.

- And you know what? Fun fact,

I found out that Magma was

originally used to treat angina.

So, heart-wiener link, maybe? Something there?

- Hey, hey, hey!

- Hi! - I got the deck.

- Ugh, thank God. - I know.

I just emailed it to you.

I downloaded it from Doug's phone

while installing Man Buffet.

I felt bad tricking him,

but as a consolation,

I wrote him an exquisite profile.

He was betrayed, but he will give aid.

- Mm-hmm.

What's the problem?

- The stack is good. It's really good.

- Mm-hmm. - But, it's Monica and Doug's.

- After all this. Now, you have a moral dilemma?

- I mean, isn't it, like, technically stealing?

- No, no, no.

Monica and Doug created it while they were here.

So, technically, it's the company's property.

(sighing): I don't know, you guys...

- We also put our own research into it.

Think of it as a remix.

- Yeah. Yeah, okay.

And you know what? We'll come up with our own slogan,

which is like the most important part of the pitch anyways.

- Mm-hmm. - 100 %.

- So, what is our slogan?

Keep in mind, we have to appeal to older guys.

- Well, it's not just older men that use Magma.

I mean, my friends use it

and they feel awkward talking about it.

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- It's, it's coming...

- Ooh... (rhythmic music)

- It's coming...

- Come on. (gasp): It came!

(whispering): Yes.

(singing): I feel as empty as a drum.

Don't know why I didn't come.

(still singing): I don't know why I didn't come.

(out of tune vocalizing)

I... don't know why I didn't come...

- You can't solve the problem

if you don't have the hard discussion.

- And that's our pitch.

- Well...

Definitely different from what...

Monica and Doug would have done.

But I liked it! A lot. (sighing)

Loved acknowledging that it's difficult

for both older and younger men to talk about ED.

Looks like we have a new campaign.

(squealing)

(rhythmic music)

- Well, therapy didn't work. What's next?

- Well, the only real way back is time.

You know, wait it out, move to the Midwest.

Come back with a podcast when everyone's memory has faded.

- No. I am a New Yorker.

I dine at Jean-Georges,

I have a membership at the MET.

I have seen Anna Wintour with her sunglasses off.

I can't move to the Midwest!

I'll end up with short hair, eating cheese curds.

People will start calling me a handsome woman. No.

- Well, if you have to stay in the city, just lay low for now.

- Well, I can't do that.

I have a very high-profile networking event tonight.

(♪ HOT TO GO! by Chappell Roan)

(indistinct chatter)

- Hi.

(chuckling nervously)

Bob, thanks for the call. Not.

- People are staring...

- Let them.

- God, look at his hair. It's Bennet Buffy.

- Oh, is it cold in here or just me?

(wheezing)

- Monica.

- Gabe, Marcie.

- Congratulations. - Wonderful party.

This is my second favourite Jewish tradition,

second only to Yom Kippur.

- Yeah... I'm surprised to see you.

I tried to get the post office to rescind your invitation.

(laughing): And I'm thrilled to be here, in New York City.

and not in some godforsaken town in the Midwest.

- Well, if... you'll excuse me.

- Right. - Sure.

(chuckling awkwardly) - Lovely yamaka.

- I don't think you can say that.

- No?

- Marcie and I just wanted to say a quick thank you

to everyone for coming.

Veronica would like to come up and say a few words.

(crowd cheering and clapping)

- I already said everything important in Hebrew,

but thanks to my parents for paying for all of this.

You guys! I'm a woman!

(crowd clapping) - Yay...

- Isn't she great, oh, wow. - Monica!

- Look at you, all grown up and...

Jewish and... pink.

(chuckling) Oh!

I'm excited for you becoming a woman, but...

(microphone feedback)

I'm also worried.

Because being a woman can be awful.

Recently, as most of you know,

I was cancelled for being out of touch.

But I can't help but feel if a man made the same commercial,

he wouldn't have been made into a sacrificial lamb.

Why are women always the lambs?

- Monica, that's enough. - Yeah, I agree, it's enough.

I have been angry, I have been depressed.

I have gone through all of the cycles of grief

and I don't know now, I just am like,

bleh, like dead inside.

But Veronica,

I hope for you that by the time you're my age...

...things are different.

But they probably won't be.

So... enjoy being 12 while you can.

I'll see you guys all in Hell, right?

Mazel tov!

Whoo!

(applauding)

Congratulations.

(rhythmic music)

(Doug): Oh, my god, he's on his way over.

Don't talk to him, Monica, don't.

- Hello there.

- Buffy! Such a surprise to see you here.

This being an event of religious significance

and you being the devil.

- Well, you know me, I'm just here

for the free drinks.

Although, I might take home

that female mime.

You know, I like a girl who's not too chatty.

Speaking of which, pretty rough, eh, with you?

- I really don't have the energy for this.

Go... poke somebody else.

- I'm not poking. I'm not a poker.

Bit of a stroker, but I'm not gonna poke you.

Unless you want to.

(grunting): Don't make me sick,

we're about to eat.

- Yes, Taco Bell has a new chalupa menu

that we're eager to try so we should probably get going.

- Alright, well, I'm outta jokes, but, hey.

On a serious note, I do think it's really crappy

what they're doing to you.

I know you'll find your way back

into the game.

Let's have dinner,

talk about your next step, okay?

- Okay, you are not seriously thinking

about having dinner with that man.

- He's a troll, a toad, a cesspool of a human being.

He has a modicum of talent, but I have much more.

The only thing he has that I don't have is--

- A penis. - His own agency.

- That too.

- I've been stepping over less competent men my whole career.

I can do it again.

(chuckling)

- What is this look? I know this look.

- Doug.

We're starting our own agency.

(rhythmic music) - Okay.

Oh, oh.

Oh, right now? Okay. Excuse me, thank you.

Subtitling: Difuze