Original subtitles

- My brother knights of Columbus.

My brother Knights of Columbus,

honorable members of the Legion of Mary,

ladies and gentlemen.

We are all troubled by these times

that we're living in.

My brother knights of Columbus,

venerated fathers, beloved sisters,

my fellow Catholics.

These times have troubled all of us.

Eh.

(tense music)

Monsignor Burke, my fellow Catholics,

friends, neighbors, these are troubled times.

Pshhew!

(upbeat music)

(siren sounding)

- Hey listen.

What's this about you getting into politics?

- Relax, I cleared it with the inspector.

- Ha, clear shmear.

They busted you from detective to patrolman.

The next slot for you is janitor.

Well, well, well looky here.

- That stupid crack.

I told her to stay out of my sector.

I'm gonna bust her two bit butt.

Okay on the wall, you punk!

Fight the bridge, wash and wear.

- Get off!

- Against the wall!

- Come on drop the job.

On the wall.

Spread them sweetheart!

Come on spread it!

Mary, I am gonna bust your balls.

- Police brutality!

- Shut your hole, girly!

(hissing)

(rock music)

(ripping)

- Shit!

(laughing)

(chattering)

- Come on here, goddamit.

Oh Alice, get out of here.

Come back, come back you.

- [Man] Come on man where'd this go?

Hold her hair.

(chattering)

- Sally, darling, thank God.

- What's up?

- Well I got a problem.

Little but important tiny problem.

- Okay shoot.

- Okay now you know that part,

listen, you promise you won't be angry at me?

You promise?

- Come on, cough it up Victor, I gotta get dressed.

- Okay look, it's Press Lipino's idea, not mine.

- Okay, okay.

- Okay now you know the parts that,

the three muses adagio, that part?

- Yeah?

- Well it, he wants a,

he said he wanted more laughter, more gaiety,

more effervessence, you know what I mean?

I mean it's a big moment there.

(humming)

- Hey, honey now have you been smiling at everybody?

Give everybody nice smiles?

Good.

Couldn't you have done something with her hair?

- I'll fix it, I'll fix it.

- Now you're gonna meet a nice man

and I want you to smile nicely for you.

And if he kisses you I don't want you

to make a bad face, all right?

- All right.

- Okay.

Mr. Reilly?

Mr. Reilly?

Ed Lacy.

I'm the master of ceremonies.

- Oh, right, right.

- This is my family.

This is my wife Ellen.

- Nice to meet you.

- And Susan, this is Susan.

- Susan, how are you sweetheart?

- The whole thing organized because,

- Mr. Reilly, excuse me.

We would have had a big crowd

but you know our mimeographing machine broke down.

- It's good enough, good enough.

- So we couldn't get the word out.

- Hey, I think they're ready.

- Okay.

I'm gonna introduce you.

- Okay, good, good.

(crowd humming)

(crowd cheering)

- Ladies and gentlemen.

First let me tell you that I'm really honored

that my brother knights of Columbus

chose me for this honor.

You know I'm not talking to you today as a cop.

I'm just one of your neighbors.

- All right, and keep my car nearby.

We gotta scoot out of here fast.

- And Father Brady, I confessed my first sin to you.

- And God knows how many more sins.

(crowd laughing)

- [Man] Not at all!

Get out there, Debbie!

- Okay, look.

Look, you all know me, right?

Well I say something has to be done about our city.

'Cause we took what is,

we lost our city, right?

Well today you're gonna meet the man

that could win it back for us!

Without any malarky, right here and now on this stage,

the next mayor of New York City,

one of our own, Kevin "Enough is Enough" Reilly!

(cheering)

(singing and cheering)

(crowd clapping)

(crowd chattering)

- Do me a favor will you?

Look in the box right over there.

- There's nothing over there, man.

- Blue Boy and Ultravelvet.

- No, you got the wrong scene.

- Just take a look, please.

- I beg your pardon.

- Oh the pleasure was all mine.

- [Blue Boy] Take a look in that box for me, please?

- Sir.

Sir.

Excuse me.

Reservations for Ambassador Shazam.

- Yes sir.

- Thank you.

(speaking in foreign language)

Excuse me please.

- Oh yes, of course.

- Five minutes please.

- Excuse me.

- [Woman] Five minutes please.

- Now's to half.

And out.

Cue one.

- [Man] Places, places.

(crowd applauding)

(energetic music)

- Feeling you know official shit, man.

Hey well looky here Cleo man,

we got us a regular Roy Rogers! (laughing)

Hey, looky here, officer.

You's out of uniform because the regulation

2679-32 said that the police is supposed

to wear his gun on the side, not in the front!

- What do we owe you?

- 1.27, 1.27.

But for you guys, it's $2.00.

- [Man] Would you hold this?

The brothers will quick draw your ass, you understand?

- Here's your 27 cents.

(coins clacking)

- Thanks for the tip, man.

- What you gonna do, baby?

You gonna be here in the ghetto out of uniform,

you and your down on--

- Hey, hey.

- What?

- Make you happy?

(light music)

(tense percussive music)

- Don't ask me a thing.

You cry, you die, right?

My intentions here are perfectly honorable.

Dig?

Dig?

Right now, I'll take my hand down

and you open the door.

Don't blow it.

(dog barking)

- Shh, it's Sally!

(keys clinking)

- Open it.

On the floor.

- Whatever you want, please, take it.

Please just don't hurt me.

Um, there's a typewriter in the closet over there.

- Fuck do you think I am?

Hmm?

Red ball express or something?

(gasping)

- [Sally] I don't think anything.

Just take anything you want and go.

- Shazam goes when he goes.

(light percussive music)

You be cool, dig?

- [Sally] Yeah.

(tense percussive music)

- [Rabbit] Hey!

This your stash?

- If you mean drugs, I don't use them.

- [Rabbit] No anxieties, backaches, huh?

Nasty numbless pains, the pleasures thereto?

- Will you just take what you want and go?

- Hold it!

How green was my valium?

I could feel the lying, Sally.

- I wasn't lying, I forgot they were there.

- Sally.

Sally.

Well, these are troubled times.

Sally, Sally.

Have you moved in my absence?

Do you dig Elizabethan justice?

(shattering)

(tense music)

- [Sally] Stop, I don't have any money!

(shattering)

I don't know what you're looking for.

I have nothing here!

- Oh yeah?

Well this crib ain't no poverty pocket, baby.

Okay, we'll do it the hard way then, Sally.

Where's your telephone book?

- [Sally] It's under the telephone.

- I mean your personal telephone book.

- [Sally] I don't have one.

- Everyone has one.

(crashing)

- Oh!

You son of a bitch!

If I had a gun I'd blow your goddamn head off!

- [Rabbit] Shh.

The fuck you think I am?

A nose dripping strung out junkie?

Where's the book, Sally?

- [Sally] It's in the desk drawer.

- It says here

Miss Deveraux, former Navy brat

is the daughter of Admiral, Mrs. John Deveraux of Boston.

- Oh my god.

- That's right, Sally.

Fame is the meat dead men eat.

- What are you gonna do?

- Well if you can up the ankle

you can up the bread, right?

- Look, he's an old man, he's got a heart condition.

You call him, you'll kill him!

- Shit. (chuckling)

He's an Admiral, he's probably killed more dudes

than I have.

- I'll give you anything you want, anything.

(car honking in distance)

(classical music)

- Beauty is to me

is those Nicean box of yore

that gently bore a perfume sea.

The weary way worn wanderer bore

some far and distant gentle shore.

(phone ringing)

Okay.

You get the Admiral on the phone,

and I'll do the talking.

- Hello, Sally.

This is Edna.

I hope I'm not too late.

- Get rid of her.

- Well I was just going to bed.

- Oh no, I won't keep you

but I just read your review

and it's so fabulous!

- It's lousy isn't it?

They really murdered us.

- [Edna] Are you talking about the Time?

- If anyone can kill a show, they can.

- [Edna] But frankly, this review is--

- May I call you tomorrow, Mrs. Broderick,

I'm really very tired then.

- Mrs?

Mrs. Broderick?

But she hasn't called me that for years.

Mrs. Brod?

If that's a bad review, I read it.

- Sally.

You know,

I'm real proud of you.

- If you're gonna screw me, take off the ropes.

- Why, Sally, Sally

I hardly even know you.

(phone ringing)

- Hello?

- [Woman] Is this the party calling Admiral Deveraux?

- Why yes, it is, ma'am.

- [Woman] Your party's on the line.

- Um...

Would you hold on just a minute please?

- [Woman] Admiral Deveraux, your party's on the line.

- Now dig,

if you loves your daddy, be cool and straight

and I'll handle the business, you dig?

(phone ringing)

- [Man] Sergeant Burns.

- Hello there.

I am, I really don't like bother you,

- [Burns] What's your address, lady?

- My address?

Oh it's 48 West 88th street.

- [Admiral] Tell me anything, Sally, anything.

Put him on, let me talk to him.

- Well oh, hello there Admiral.

- I think there is a robbery next door.

- Okay lady, just sit tight.

We'll send somebody there in a minute.

- Hey, hey, hey hold it, sucker.

Hey wait, hey.

Listen you save this shit

for the swabbies, Admiral.

As they say, sailor, your position is untenable.

- [Admiral] I didn't mean it that way.

I want this thing resolved!

- All right.

Western Union.

Broadway, 22nd street.

New York, New York.

You got that?

- [Admiral] Yes.

- Money order.

Payable to Sally Deveraux.

Amount, $10,000.

- [Admiral] I can't get that amount of money

this time of night.

- Yeah?

Well I have a lot of confidence in you, Admiral.

- [Admiral] Look, that's totally impossible.

- You got two hours.

- [Admiral] Wait a minute, I can't do it.

♪ Anchors away, my lad

- You son of a bitch.

(light piano music)

- [Man On Radio] Investigate possible 1031,

address 48 West 88th street,

plain as walk street, over.

- Don't use a siren.

- Right.

- Feel better?

- Than what?

- Get your coat on, we're moving.

- Why?

- In case the Admiral blows battle stations.

- Where are you taking me?

- Hmm, 42nd street.

You digs, lady?

- Yeah.

But I have to pee.

- Go pee.

Mmm.

(percussive music)

- Take it easy cowboy, it might just be

a family fight.

- [Rabbit] You know, I really kind of dug the Admiral.

Then I told do.

- You'll find out if you mess this up.

- Last thing I messed up, Sally

was my woman's face.

Come on, shake your ass.

- Can't you wait a minute?

I'm nervous.

- Is that where they are?

- Good evening.

This is Dright Reverend Rabbit Shazam

of Liberia speaking to you

from the tip tap top of the Alton Hotel

in Choll Youth.

I ain't gonna tell you again, Sally.

- Coming, coming.

- Billings, take the back.

Now hold your flash, just sit tight.

(phone ringing)

- [Burns] Sergeant Burns.

- 2-4 John here.

I'm at 1031 in progress, we're gonna need some backup.

Perpetrator's on the premises.

Look, I'm gonna need your help.

- You're crazy, you know that, don't you?

- No.

- Look, why are you doing this?

- Because I dig adventure.

- The thing is to be calm.

Just be natural, tell her there's a gas leak,

there's phone trouble, anything you know.

- Ha, hold, pig!

You move and I'll open her.

- Nobody's moving.

Easy, fella.

- Shut up!

- It's no sweat.

No sweat, take it easy.

- Put your piece on the floor,

slide it over with your foot.

- No problem.

Give me a second.

- Slow.

- My partner's back there.

- Piece on the floor, man, put it on the floor.

- Please put it down!

- Just drop the blade.

You got nothing but a bullshit burglary,

my word on that.

- Now slide it over, man, slide it over!

- My mother's grave.

- Fuck your mama!

- I'll see you and raise you.

(siren sounding)

- Oh shit.

(chuckling)

- Okay spread your legs, sammy!

Come on, get up on your toes!

Come on.

- Easy there, Jim.

(gun firing) (Sally screaming)

(screaming)

(crashing)

(shouting over each other)

(siren sounding)

- Jesus fucking tornado.

- The man couldn't make it in this way.

He was not a nice person, kid.

- What's your story, doc?

- Two in, two out.

DOA right away.

All right, you need me any more?

- No, no, thank you very much.

I'm sorry about the hour.

Good night doctor.

- He's standing about here.

- Where you're standing?

- No, where you're standing.

He came at me with the blade.

- What hand was the blade in?

- It was in his right hand.

The guy's right hand.

- But you see, the review in the New York Times

actually is marvelous.

- Yeah.

- Then I knew something was fishy.

- All right, where'd you get the paper?

- From the newsstand about 1:30.

- Do you feel like talking?

- No.

- You're gonna have to talk to us eventually.

You don't have to do it now.

You take your time, get yourself together, okay?

Okay.

- Ready?

- Hey watch your back, Mose, some of us here.

Jesus, he's big isn't he.

Let's go.

- How you feeling?

You okay?

- What the hell were you doing out in that garden,

pulling your pudding?

- I was doing what you told me.

- He almost sliced that broad,

he could have got me for Christ's sake.

- You told me to sit tight and hold my flash.

- Hold your flash, you couldn't find your pecker

with a floodlight.

- Okay.

- The bastard bought what he got, you understand?

You understand?

Now I gotta go down and sing hearts and flowers

with some candy ass Harvard mother

from the DA's office.

- [Billings] Relax, huh?

- Yeah, yeah sure.

Relax, relax. (shattering)

Gimme some gum.

- Dan, I'll be out tomorrow too, you dirty rat.

- Buckley, the DA is here.

- Who's he with?

- The old broad, he wants our necks.

- Speaking of that, what was it

that made you first suspicious?

- The man himself.

- [Detective] Why?

- Well.

I didn't like his looks.

Simple as that.

- Here's your dad.

- Thanks.

Daddy?

- She ready yet?

- Would you give her a chance to breathe?

- Give us a break, will you?

- Mr. Touchy, sheesh.

- You know maybe she pulled him off the street.

- Oh Boone, you gotta be kidding.

- Why not?

- Oh buddy, that's class.

Class is class.

- Class is class.

Ass is ass.

- Forget it.

- Do I have to?

- Let me go get her a cup of coffee.

- What you wanna do, kill her?

It's our only witness.

- When the assailant brought Miss Deveraux out,

was Officer Lacy nervous in any way?

- I don't know, he shoved me from my door

and I was hiding.

- One mechanical dog.

One, two, three, four, five

electric pam exes.

- Check.

- One switchblade.

- Check.

- And one fake hand grenade.

- You sure?

- You too, dad, bye bye.

- Coffee?

- Thank you.

- Your district attorney will be talking to you

in just a few minutes.

Meanwhile just make yourself at home.

Look, I understand how you feel.

My little girl was raped last year.

- I'm sorry.

- Believe me, life goes on.

- What happens now?

- In what sense?

- The man at my apartment.

- Oh he's on ice by now.

You know him well?

- No.

I never even saw him before.

- Well you seem so concerned.

- It's just hard to believe that--

- Believe me, you'd be dead too

if it wasn't for Officer Lacy.

- Anyway Miss Deveraux would you like to wait

out in the hall now?

The DA will be ready in a moment.

Just take a seat right out there.

Do your rape number?

- Ah, screw you.

- Sherlock trying to trip with the policeman

in this station.

Yeah and I'm gonna tell every fucking thing too,

how you like that, you stinking dirty rat you?

I'ma tell your mama the next time too.

Ooh child, what are you doing here

looking all terrible and haggard?

- I'm a witness.

- A witness my you know what.

What kind of witness are you?

I want out of this place.

I'm going to court and I'm going to tell everybody.

I had a trick named Rick and he turned out

to be a dick, how you like that?

Yeah, go to hell.

Yeah, you don't like that too much do you?

Haggard looking thing, you stinking copper you.

Get off of me, don't even touch me!

I don't even want you touching me!

- How you feeling?

- I'm all right.

- How's your pop?

- He's okay.

- That's good.

All right I got a little paperwork to do.

If you need me I'll be right down the hall, okay?

- Okay.

Mr. Lacy?

- Yeah?

- Wasn't there any other way at all?

- Yeah, he could have killed you.

He could have killed my partner

and he could have killed me before they brought him down.

- I don't know how to say it.

I wanna thank you for saving my life.

- Now then, he pulled you toward the door,

is that correct?

- Yeah.

- Officer Lacy then ordered him to release you, right?

- Yes.

- Then what happened?

- I fell to the floor.

I was hysterical.

- But what did you see?

- I can't remember.

I was crying.

I was just glad to be alive.

- Look, Captain.

Let me run it for you right?

I maneuvered the assailant up against the wall,

I told him to drop his blade.

- And?

- Well he started to but then

for some reason the mutt lunged at me.

- Why was that, Lacy?

- I'm no soothsayer, Captain, I'm a cop.

- And as a cop you thought your life was in danger.

- Right, right, there was no doubt about it.

It was his ass or mine.

- So you fired at him.

- Right, I got off two rounds frontal

from about three feet.

- [Sally] So he released me.

- And you fell to the floor.

- [Sally] Yes.

- And your assailant turned on the officer with a knife?

Your assailant, he turned on the officer

with a knife, right?

- [Sally] I think so.

I don't know.

- What do you mean you don't know?

- [Sally] I can't remember.

- Now, from the shots, slow motion.

- Well the victim was hysterical, she passed out.

The assailant fell on top of her

so I lift him up, grabbed him off

and that's when the backup units came in.

- Okay.

- I know this has been a strain on you Miss Deveraux.

Thanks for your cooperation.

We'll be in touch.

- I think I owe all of you the thanks, Mr. West.

Good night.

- Hey Ed.

Don't let those bums get you down.

Have a swig, here.

- Thanks.

(door creaking)

- Miss Deveraux, can I give you a lift home?

- Uh no thanks, no problems there Mr. Lacy.

I'll get a cab.

- Never let it be written in the big book upstairs

that Ed Lacy left a lady stranded in the wee hours

of the morning.

Here's my chariot right here.

No, no, this way, come on.

Service with a smile.

(car starting)

You know, I got a lot of admiration for you, Ms. Deveraux.

- How's that?

- Well you might think I'm just talking about courage

but that's nothing to be sneezed at of course.

- Well what are you talking about?

- Well, what I admire about you is your mind,

your accomplishments.

See two things that I appreciate more than anything else

in the world are mind and accomplishments.

Hey look, see this brownstone building right here,

see that one right there.

That's where they got that cop last month.

Remember reading about it in the papers?

They got this cop, they chopped him up

in little pieces, put him in plastic bags

and spread him out in garbage cans all over the city.

Happened right there in that brownstone.

What was I talking about?

You know, uh,

I realize that you're kind of upset

about that fellow.

But I gave him every chance and you know it, right?

When you're looking at me,

you're not just looking at Ed Lacy the cop,

you're looking at society.

See I represent society.

So when that guy goes against me

he's going against everybody, understand?

- Poor.

- You know what it would have cost

to bring that dude to trial?

- I don't think in those terms.

- Oh no, no, of course not.

Neither do I, I mean it's a human life at stake, right?

Yeah.

But it's a good thing your case never went to trial.

If your rape case ever went to trial,

those civil liberty lawyers would have had it look

like you were hustling that dude.

- I wasn't raped.

- Yeah, but you could have been.

- This is my house, Mr. Lacy.

- Oh yeah.

Let me tell you something.

You and me, we're lucky to be sitting here

right now, you know.

I mean, that black dude could have got both of us.

- Yes that's right and you have my profound thanks.

Good night.

- I'll see you in.

Say, Miss Deveraux, now look

this is strictly on the up and up, okay?

Can you and me maybe have coffee together sometime?

- Uh maybe we can, we'll see.

Good night, Mr. Lacy.

- Good night, Miss Deveraux.

(car starting)

(somber jazz music)

- Hey Hunter, I still need the addresses

for those chicks in the second.

- [Man] Well how do you like it?

- You don't think it makes me look too liberal?

- I gave Buckley the same haircut.

- It's perfect.

It's just the right combination

of old guard establishment with a smidgen

of youth appeal.

- How about some crayon, maybe we can fool

some of the people.

How do you like it, Mary Lou?

- Where are we going for lunch?

- And now for the good news.

- Oh.

Find him.

(classical music)

- [Rabbit] Good evening.

This is Dwight Reverend Rabbit Shazam of Liberia

speaking to you from the tip tap top

of the Alton Hotel in--

- Gonna claim him?

- Mrs. Lacy, okay now what we're gonna do

is in a few minutes the technicians will come in.

They're all set up outside

and we'll go out on the porch

and your daddy'll be introduced

and everything will be okay.

- Where's the kid?

Okay I'm depending on you, all right?

(chattering)

- What should I do with all these posters?

I can't handle them.

- I think he's nervous.

You better talk to him.

- Fine.

Hey, here he is.

- Hey Mr. Reilly, I can't go out there,

I got nothing to say.

What am I gonna say?

- It's okay, it's okay.

Now you listen to me.

- I'll talk to you.

- You just say what you feel.

That's good enough for us.

Come on, come on.

Let him wait a while.

Because when we step through that door,

it's you and me together.

Right down the line of Gracy Mansion.

- What do you mean?

- I mean every time I'm up on a platform

from here on in, I want you up there with me.

- I can't do that, I'm a cop.

- Take a leave of absence.

Starting tonight, you're on our team.

- I don't know, I'm gonna have to think about that.

- All right, all right think about it.

Just remember one thing.

That door is your future.

- [Man] Ready, Mr. Reilly.

- Okay.

Come on, let's go.

Hey.

- Hey Mr. Reilly, should I have my uniform on?

(shouting over each other)

- Oh you have a beautiful Irish face,

you can go out there and make it.

You're behind me.

Okay here we go, here we go.

Mrs. Lacy, you look marvelous.

- In our continuing coverage of the mayoralty race,

we have come to this modest All-American neighborhood

in this simple location to talk to one of the candidates,

Mr. Kevin "Enough is Enough" Reilly.

Mr. Reilly, could you tell us sir

some of your immediate plans?

- You bet.

If I'm elected, heroes like officer Edward Lacy

will not only be guarding our homes,

our sidewalks, our businesses and our lives,

they will be placed in key positions

in the higher echelons of our city government.

On that I give you my word! (crowd cheering)

- [Reporter] Thanks very much, Mr. Reilly.

Now back to mystery.

(clapping)

- Do you know who you're looking at?

- [Woman] Who?

- You are looking at Edward Aloysious Lacy

who is in a key position on higher echelons

of New York City, the greatest city in the entire world!

- Is that so?

- That's right, let's hear you say it.

- You are the most beautiful key position

in the higher echelon of New York City.

- Say it again!

- You are the most beautiful higher echelon

in the key points of New York city!

- Come on, get it right.

- You are the most beautiful key position in the higher

echelons of New York.

You see, I said it right.

- Dismissed.

- Uh, miss.

- I'd like to make a change of statement.

Could I see Detective Baker or Buckley please?

- What is this in reference to?

- Could I tell them?

- What is your name?

- Miss Deveraux, D-E-V-E-R-A-U-X.

- Okay Miss Deveraux, have a seat.

(phone ringing)

- Phone's ringing.

- Yeah I hear.

- The phone's ringing!

- You're up.

- Hey you got new huh?

- Never had.

- Never will.

201 squad, Detective Baker.

- [Man] Hello darling.

- Hello, sweetheart.

- We have a Miss Deveraux out here with a new song.

- Jesus well gloriaskey, we're on our way.

What's that?

What happened?

- You don't believe the shot this guy just,

he hit--

- Will you tell me what happened?

- This guy behind him fell down

and four guys--

- Christ, there goes my lunch money.

Hey buddy where's my, hey hey hey.

Miss Deveraux, Miss Deveraux has second thoughts.

- You don't say.

- Mhmm, good partner or bad?

- There's not a bad bone in my body.

I will be so happy to go downstairs

and talk to that goddamn pain in the ass

Jesus Christ, why don't she go bother somebody else?

- Who was that?

- Hey, Miss Deveraux.

How are you?

How's that cello of yours?

- It'll survive, I think.

- Oh I'm glad to hear that.

Hey, I forgot to mention it last night.

Do you know that my little girl plays the cello?

- The one that was raped?

- No, the other one.

You have quite a memory.

- That's really why I'm here.

- You haven't got another homicide for us, have you?

- I didn't have the last one.

- What's the problem?

- I'd like to make a change of statement.

- Okay, just follow me.

Coffee, Coke, Juicy Fruits.

- I'm saying that he didn't have a knife in his hand

when officer Lacy shot him.

- I want you to be very, very careful Miss Deveraux.

(phone ringing)

What you're saying could ruin a fine man's career.

It could send him away for a long long time.

- Well I'm only telling the truth.

- And what's that, Officer Lacy shot him in cold blood?

- I don't know what his duty was

under the circumstances.

I just know what I saw.

- Right, thank you very much.

Have a good day, Miss Deveraux.

- Is that all?

- What do you want, a brass band?

- Well what about the District Attorney?

- I'll pass the information on to the District Attorney

and thank you very much Miss Deveraux.

You think she's telling the truth?

- Goddamit.

If it was anybody but Lacy, I'd say no.

- Guess you're right.

(shouting and chanting)

- Hey, hey listen quiet down.

- Oh no here's to the coordinator

of the police public affairs!

(cheering)

- [Man] You're really a positive to our precinct, right?!

(cheering)

- Now that he's a big man, you're gonna be needing

some bad clothes.

- You queen, I'm gonna wear yours!

(laughing)

Hey listen, now wait a minute, wait a minute, seriously.

I wanna make a speech.

No, no, look I'm the host, I bought the drinks,

I get to make the speech.

- [Man] Right let him make a speech!

- Now look.

I want you all to know that the big guy wants me, right?

And I'm his man.

The die is cast and I just want you to know

without any crying on my beat

that I love you guys.

(guys cheering)

Now come on, okay, now seriously!

I want you to know that no matter how high I go

Ed Lacy's door is always open to his old pals.

- [Man] Ah, god bless ya!

(guys cheering)

- Billings!

You psalm singing son of a bitch!

Hey lady, bring my lady friend an Irish beer, will you?

Everybody's Irish today.

(cheering)

- Ed, I gotta talk to you.

- Yeah, sure you can talk to me.

You can talk.

Official state business.

(guys oohing)

Let me tell you something.

My first official act in the upper echelon

is gonna be to make you an Irish cop.

- My mother wouldn't like that.

- As a matter of fact,

I'll make you a member of the Hyperions.

And if you learn to tell your pistol from your peter

I'll make your membership fan.

- Ed!

Deveraux old girl came back today.

She changed her statement.

- Ah yeah, what'd she say?

- She said you blew that guy away.

- Jesus that fucking broad.

I should have solved it with that goddamn nigger.

- Come on, come on I'll buy you a drink.

Come on, come on, it's all right.

Come on, come on.

(upbeat music)

(crowd applauding)

- Hey listen, I loved the show.

No kidding, it was great.

And you were out of this world, terrific.

- [Sally] Thank you very much.

- You know, that's the best show

since "Oklahoma" in my book.

- [Sally] I only hope it runs half as long.

- You don't have to worry about a thing.

- Here we go.

Bourbon and rocks for the law

and a boilermaker for the lady.

- Thanks, Annie. - Thank you.

- How you been, Ed?

- I'm still living.

- [Annie] Who's your friend and where's your wife?

- [Ed] The who is Miss Beveraux.

The where is at home where she belongs.

(laughing)

- Oh this Irishman's always got an answer.

Always.

- I can see that.

- Well my beautiful weight watching butt

wouldn't be here right now if he didn't.

- Come on Annie, get in the wind, will you?

- Oh, you hear that, he's bashful.

- You want me to slap an after hours on you?

- [Annie] Listen here.

Honey this buzz out here saved my life.

- Just ignore her, she'll go away.

- No I wanna hear.

- I got a flippo in here about five years back,

cuts up one of my waitresses with a butcher knife.

Hamburger.

So little boy blue here comes through that door,

he tells the flipper he goes "Drop that knife!"

Blue boy charged and flippo

Gets off five rounds before he takes the knife

right in the chest.

- Come on Annie now get out of here.

Scram, I mean it! - Christ!

I hate modesty.

Get him to show you his scar, honey.

- [Ed] Boy, what a character.

- So that's why we came here.

What are you trying to tell me?

- Look.

I got 18 years on the force.

I got six commendations for bravery.

- [Sally] I'm sure you have.

- And when now I need violin music

I got a wife and kid at home.

And in two years I can retire.

- I hope you do, I mean that.

- Then listen to me.

Please, you must have seen that fella had a knife

in his hand when I shot him.

- No I didn't see that.

- Do you realize I saved your life?

- If you'll excuse me now I have to go.

- All I want for you to do is think it over.

Now you do that for anybody, right?

- Good night, Mr. Lacy.

- I'm 40 years old, for Christ's sake!

Let me buy you a drink, eh Annie?

- [Sally] This isn't easy for me.

Officer Lacy saved my life

but I know the man is a psychopath.

- So now you're a psychiatrist, Miss Deveraux?

- No.

But as I told you the other night

I was in the car with him and,

why are you making this tough for me?

- Because you made it tough for me.

The other night you were hysterical.

- Well I'm not hysterical now

and I know that man didn't have a knife in his hand.

- I wanna warn you Miss Deveraux,

the other side of truth is perjury.

- I'll take my chances.

- So will I.

That's why I called you in.

Get Captain Stark on the line.

- You nasty pig!

- Bang, bang!

Slow, slow.

Is that right?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- Now aside from the abrasions on the knees

where he hit the floor,

he has a massive contusion on the right buttock

and a small chip at the upper left femur.

- Could that have happened when he fell?

- That's not very likely.

- Where you been?

- I got hung up.

Why, what's your rush?

- I'm supposed to leave the precinct at 11:30,

be on time.

- Well thanks for letting me know, fellas,

believe me, I'm grateful.

- Anytime.

- It's good to know you're behind me.

Have some coffee before you leave.

(phone ringing)

Oh boy.

Cut him loose.

(radio chatter)

- Ed?

- What?

- I got something to tell you, Ed.

Now don't flip out, all right?

The Bobbsey twins flagged me down.

- You been exposing yourself again?

- This is serious, Ed.

It's the Deveraux thing.

- [Ed] What'd they want from you?

- They wanted to know where the blade was

when I came into the hall.

- Mother fuckers!

(siren sounding)

(tires screeching)

You ain't taking this thing seriously?

- I have to.

- That dizzy snatch over me?

- That's not the point.

- You're gonna blow my job over a fucking nigger?

- Look, the broad keeps changing her story.

What am I supposed to do?

- You're supposed to shovel some shit on

and start whistling Dixie

just like I'd do for you!

- Look Ed, it's too much heat on this,

there's no way!

(banging)

(kids chattering)

- Okay, wonderful you've all advanced

to the third grade.

(kids cheering)

Now let's clap our hands and count to four.

We'll count at the same time.

- [Everyone] One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

- Right, you do that while I play on the cello, right?

And, one two three four

one two three four.

Okay, terrific.

Now we're gonna do our song.

(kids booing)

All right, look.

We're gonna do the song in quarter notes.

Old Macdonalds farm.

I count and you do the words, okay?

Here we go.

And one, two, three, four.

♪ Had a farm

♪ E-I-E-I-O

♪ And on the farm he had a squash ♪

♪ E-I-E-I-O

♪ With a squash squash here

♪ And a squash squash there

♪ Here a squash there a squash

♪ Everywhere a squash squash

♪ Old Macdonald had a farm

♪ E-I-E-I-O

- Fine, boys and girls.

Why don't we have an early lesson this week

and I'll see you all next week, okay?

(kids cheering)

Don't run.

(tense music)

(clanging)

- Sorry ma'am, just finishing up.

(tense music)

(car honking)

- What are you doing here?

- I thought you were gonna think about it.

- I did.

- Sally.

Sometimes I worry about you.

- Well don't, I can take care of myself.

- You didn't do so hot in that hallway if you remember.

- Neither did you.

- Sally.

Gotcha.

- Are you threatening me?

- That time it was just for funsies.

- Oh no.

This time it's for keepsies, Mr. Lacy.

Then I'm gonna do what I have to do.

(chill music)

- Give it to me straight.

What do you want me to do?

- Take a vacation, Ed.

- I ain't tired.

- Go sick.

- Never felt better in my life.

- I got no choice, Ed.

- Negative.

- It's an order Ed, you take your vacation now.

- Negative!

- All right, give me your weapon.

You're suspended.

- You want my piece?

You want my piece?

Okay then you take it all.

So much for bravery. - On to the shore.

- Above and beyond. - Get some air, Ed.

- 18 goddamn years! - Get the family.

- You want my piece? - Relax.

- I'll give it to you.

Six slugs, Captain.

Five for you and one for that lying bitch!

- Do a little fishing.

- You want my piece?

Well take my piece and shove it up your ass!

Come on out of the way, you scumbag!

(honking)

Ah.

I was gonna ask for a leave of absence anyway.

- It isn't fair, Ed.

- It's a beginning of a whole new career

for us, kiddo.

Hey, come on.

I'm still a top echelon of the top echelon, right?

Park it, hon.

- [Man] You nervous?

- [Reilly] I get keyed up myself.

Every time I get keyed up, never fails.

Has he got any makeup now?

- [Man] I told them no makeup.

- [Reilly] Good, I don't want any make up on.

I think he looks great the way he is.

- [Man] Everything okay?

- Fine, we're making a fuss over him

and you better get used to it, soldier.

Because when the count is in,

it's you and me together right down the road

to Gracie mansion.

No, I mean it, I mean it.

It's the best thing that can happen

to a young fella, really.

I mean you came out of the army,

you've gone to college, you got a degree.

City government is the most rewarding thing

that a young fella can tackle.

I remember when I started. (knocking)

Excuse me, I'll be right with you.

Ed, oh for God's sake,

didn't they call you, fellow?

What the hell kind of an organization have I got here?

- It's all right Mr. Reilly I can skip the makeup.

- That's not the point, Ed.

You see, it's as simple as this.

The truth is, I think that you're a little

overexposed right now.

So I figure, we all figure

that we should save you for the big push later on, right?

You know what I mean.

- Yeah.

Yes, you're right.

- Good boy.

Okay now I'll see you around.

(light music)

- Susie!

Susie, get in here!

Didn't your dad tell you to stay in the house?

Come on, come on, hurry it up.

Go clean up your room.

- I don't want to.

- What is this I don't want to,

now don't hassle me, go clean up your room.

Move, come on, come on!

- Hey Lacy!

Lacy, Lacy!

Hey!

Wow, what a great looking hunk of stuff.

But uh, what precisely do you want, my friend?

- I want a scare.

- Boo or boo hoo?

- Boo hoo, and bad.

- Bodily injury?

- No.

- Better safe than sorry.

- I just want her to piss in her pants.

- (chuckling) But I think we can arrange that.

Uh, may I please have the sugar?

- Sure.

I don't have any, I'm sorry.

- Oh, it's right here.

I'm sorry to have bothered you.

- Want the paper, Petey?

Okey doke.

See you around.

(upbeat percussive music)

(revving)

(tires screeching)

(screaming)

(crashing)

(crashing)

- I want Lacy locked up.

- On what grounds?

- He was the one behind that accident.

- Well a fat hit and run driver doesn't necessarily

add up to Ed Lacy.

- Look, that fat man followed me all day long

and I've never seen him before in my life.

Besides, I told you

Lacy threatened me.

- Look miss, you want protection,

we'll give it to you.

- We'll put you in a hotel room,

give you round the clock guards,

ship in your meals from Hojos, you'll be safe

but you gotta stay there.

- You know I can't do that.

I got a job.

Is that the best you can do?

- No, we'll give you a policewoman 24 hours a day.

But wherever you go, she goes.

- Will I be safe then?

- Let me tell you, I could put the whole force on this.

You step out of your door and if somebody

really wants to kill you, you're dead.

You want that policewoman?

- No I don't.

- What happened?

- Got the money?

- You're only supposed to scare her.

- And I did.

She crossed 79th street,

I caught her right in the middle.

It was beautiful. (laughing)

I scared the living shit out of her.

- And snuffed out two others in the bargain.

- A cabbie crossed me.

- When you blow it, you really blow it, don't you?

- Look, my friend.

Accidents will happen even when things are planned.

- I bought a professional.

- And I gave you professional advice.

Kill the girl.

When you wanna keep a mouth closed, you close it.

- Grab your stuff.

- Well you can give me a hand at least.

(slamming)

Hey Lacy!

Did you bring the TV?

Well fuck you then.

Lacy!

Where are we going?

- You gotta get invisible for a while.

- Out here?

Where am I gonna eat?

You don't give a shit about anybody but yourself.

Hey, salami?

Pork chops?

Oreos, oh boy.

Hey Lacy, you forgot the Fig Newtons!

Oh my god, how much further?

- [Ed] Almost there, shut up.

- What's this?

- Pet graveyard.

- Hey.

What the hell is going on here?

(gun firing)

(tense music)

(light jazz music)

(clanking)

- Daddy, daddy, daddy,

can we go look for some Spanish coins today?

Oh please daddy, you promised.

- Not today.

- Please.

Oh daddy, we gonna look for the,

I mean the Spanish coins today?

Spanish coins today?

- Tomorrow, Susie.

- No, today!

- Tomorrow, tomorrow, get out of here!

- Today!

- Susie would you go in the house and feed your mice

like I told you three times already this morning?

- [Susie] Mommy, daddy won't take me to get Spanish coins

and he promised!

- Ed?

Ed, come on, hold it.

You promised her, Ed.

- If anybody asks, I gone fishing.

You understand that, fishing!

(upbeat percussive music)

- Thank you Susie.

Thanks a lot, Mrs. Lacy.

- So?

- She said she doesn't know where he is

and Susie says he's gone fishing.

- Do we have enough?

- We had to check it.

(car starting)

- Now we have this note.

What's this note with one flag?

(kids shouting)

One at a time.

Okay hey, none of that.

What's this, one at a time.

(kids screaming)

Now a note with two flags?

(kids screaming)

Okay that's all we're gonna study for today

and next week we're gonna take up variable rhythms.

And you can stay after class, okay?

All right, why don't we just sing a song

before we go, huh?

How about if you're happy and you know it?

- [Kids] Yeah!

♪ If you're happy and you know it clap your hands ♪

♪ If you're happy and you know it clap your hands ♪

♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪

♪ And you really want to show it ♪

♪ If you're happy and you know it clap your hands ♪

- Very good, okay.

Very good, boys and girls.

I'll see you next, oh wait, don't go.

I got a surprise.

(kids cheering)

A quarter note!

Here's to the 16th note.

A few 32nd notes.

Quarter notes.

Oh here you go.

Oh oh!

Here, there you go.

All right then, woo!

Everybody grab a card.

Bye bye.

- [Kid] Bye, teacher.

- Bye.

Bye bye, see you.

See you next week.

(tense music)

(bashing)

(car honking)

- No answer.

- So we wait till she turns up dead.

- Beautiful.

(car honking)

(car starting)

(tense music)

(screaming)

(tense music)

(gasping)

(groaning)

(gasping)

(gun firing)

(tense music)

(breathing heavily)

(groaning)

(gasping)

(gun firing)

(gasping)

(gun firing)

(gun firing)

(tense music)

(creaking)

(cat mewing)

(somber jazz music)