Original subtitles

- ( humming ) - ( sizzling )

OH MY GOD, WE ARE SO LATE. I WAS SO TIRED LAST NIGHT,

I THINK I ACCIDENTALLY SET THE BABY AND CHANGED THE ALARM.

( chuckles )

THINGS AT THE BAR ARE INSANE.

I HAVE TO BE THERE IN 20 MINUTES.

THE EVENT MANAGER QUIT AND--

- WAIT. TUCKER. - HMM?

- ARE YOU MAKING AN OMELET? - YES, I AM.

ONE OR TWO?

TWO. OKAY.

TUCKER, DO WE HAVE COMPANY?

WE MOST CERTAINLY DO. OKAY.

DUDE, THAT'S AWESOME.

- CONGRATULATIONS. - THANKS, MAN. IT JUST KINDA HAPPENED.

WOW. YOU HAVE NOT HAD A SLEEPOVER SINCE YOU DUMPED THAT CRAZY-ASS SHREW VANESSA.

BEN, DON'T TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT, OKAY?

- SHE WAS NOT THAT BAD. - REALLY?

REALLY? MAN-EATER? JOY CRUSHER?

MONSTER OF MANHATTAN? WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST SIDE?

SERIOUSLY, TUCKER, WE RAN OUT OF NICKNAMES FOR HER.

SHE'S HERE, ISN'T SHE?

YES. YES, SHE IS. ( chuckles )

- GOOD MORNING. - HEY, BABE.

- HOW'D YOU SLEEP? - I'LL LET YOU KNOW AFTER I GET SOME SLEEP.

- MMM! - ( both chuckle )

OH, YOU GUYS REMEMBER VANESSA, DON'T YOU?

( babbles )

WE SURE DO.

( theme music playing )

♪ IT'S AMAZING HOW THE UNEXPECTED ♪

♪ CAN TAKE YOUR LIFE AND CHANGE DIRECTION. ♪

WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?

BEN, VANESSA HAS CHANGED.

TUCKER, MAY I REMIND YOU

SHE STOLE BOTH YOUR MO AND YOUR JO.

- HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN? - WELL, IT'S COMPLICATED.

I MISSED HER. SHE MISSED ME.

OKAY, IT'S REALLY NOT THAT COMPLICATED.

LOOK, LOOK, PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU, BEN.

JUST TRY TO GET ALONG WITH HER.

FINE, BUT REMEMBER--

IF YOU EVER WAKE UP WITH TWO PUNCTURE WOUNDS IN YOUR NECK,

WE KEEP THE WOODEN STAKES IN THE JUNK DRAWER.

CONGRATULATIONS, WHEELER.

ONE GOAL, THREE ASSISTS,

FOUR BROKEN TEETH AND ONLY ONE OF THEM WAS YOURS.

- GREAT GAME. - GREAT GAME, HONEY.

OH, HEY, DIMPLES.

YOU'RE THE NEW GOALIE, RIGHT?

LITTLE ADVICE-- KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND YOUR CHEST OUT.

THANKS. ARE YOU A COACH?

NO, FORMER RUNNER-UP MISS TEEN NEW JERSEY.

KEEP IT REAL, DIMPLES.

WOW. I DON'T KNOW IF THOSE ARE PADS OR NOT,

BUT EITHER WAY, THANK YOU.

HEY, WHEELER, GOOD GAME.

YOU TOO.

UMM, WHO IS THAT?

THAT'S GERARD.

TWO-TIME M.V.P.

AND CURRENT CENTERFOLD FOR THE N.H.L. CALENDAR.

I WAS THIS CLOSE!

WELL, HE IS VERY...

THOUGHT-PROVOKING.

YOU WANT ME TO TRY TO SET YOU GUYS UP?

NO. NO, YOU KNOW THAT I HATE SET-UPS.

- BUT I COULD PROBABLY JUST-- - NO.

- IF I TALK TO HIM MAYBE-- - DAN, DO NOT.

- I THINK THAT HE WOULD-- - STOP TALKING.

DANNY, PROMISE ME

YOU WILL NOT TRY TO SET ME UP WITH HIM.

OKAY, I PROMISE.

HEY, WHEELER, THAT GIRL YOU WERE TALKING TO--

YOU WANT ME TO SET YOU UP? SHE'S TOTALLY INTO YOU.

I DON'T HAVE TO SHOW HER MY CALENDAR?

'CAUSE I HAVE SOME SIGNED ONES IN MY LOCKER.

- I THINK YOU'RE GOOD. - ( chuckles )

AND IT'S WHEELER WITH THE ASSIST.

( elevator dings )

( door opens )

- HEY, BEN. - HEY.

HOW'S THE MOST UNDERSTANDING GUY IN THE WORLD?

IN A RUSH. I'VE ONLY GOT AN HOUR BEFORE MY NEXT SHIFT

AND LUCKY ME, I'VE GOT A HOT DATE

WITH THE CUTEST GIRL IN TOWN. WHERE'S EMMA?

OH, I TALKED RILEY INTO WATCHING HER.

I WAS HOPING YOU AND I COULD HAVE

A LITTLE CONVERSATION ABOUT VANESSA.

WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED? SHE'S NOT MOVING IN, IS SHE?

NO. ( chuckles )

DUDE, IT'S ONLY BEEN TWO DAYS. I AM NOT CRAZY.

CHECK BACK NEXT WEEK.

WHAT'S THIS? VANESSA'S RESUME?

THAT'S KIND OF WHAT I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOU KNOW HOW YOU GUYS MET AT O'HOOLIGANS BARTENDING

AND THEN SHE WENT BACK TO SCHOOL TO STUDY RESTAURANT MANAGEMENT?

UH-HUH.

AND HOW THERE'S THAT

OPEN EVENT MANAGER POSITION AT YOUR BAR?

PLEASE DON'T TELL ME SHE GOT THAT JOB.

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!

WHAT? THAT'S STUPID.

SHE HAS AN INTERVIEW IN A HALF HOUR.

REMEMBER, SHE DOESN'T LIKE FORMAL SET-UPS,

SO WHEN YOU SEE HER, JUST BE COOL.

STICK TO THE BASICS LIKE, "HEY, WHAT A COINCIDENCE,"

OR "FANCY MEETING YOU HERE,"

OR "COME HERE OFTEN?"

THEN COMPLIMENT HER SMILE OR SOMETHING.

I FIND THE MOUTH TO BE A VERY COMPLIMENT-NEUTRAL ZONE.

GOT IT. SHE'LL NEVER KNOW.

BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVEN'T ASKED HER OUT YET.

I MEAN SHE'S... REALLY SOMETHING.

UH... IT'S COMPLICATED.

BUT SHE REALLY IS THE SMARTEST,

SWEETEST, PRETTIEST-- WHAT THE HELL?

- ( mutters ) - I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

WHAT IS GOING ON? WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT?

OH, WELL, TODAY WE LEARNED THAT A PICNIC WITH EMMA IS NO PICNIC.

WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY?

OH MY GOD, IS THAT GERARD?

DANNY, I EXPLICITLY ASKED YOU NOT TO SET ME UP WITH HIM.

- YOU PROMISED. - OKAY.

I'LL TELL HIM YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED.

BUT HE WOULDN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU.

- REALLY? - UH-HUH.

WELL, THEN IT WOULD BE RUDE

NOT TO SAY "HI" NOW THAT I'M HERE THEN, RIGHT?

- ( fusses ) - OH MY GOD, HE CAN'T SEE ME LIKE THIS.

I'LL CLEAN UP EMMA AND YOU DO WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO

TO NOT LOOK LIKE... WHATEVER THAT IS.

OH, AND I CALLED MY MOM.

SHE'S GONNA COME AND GET EMMA

JUST IN CASE YOU AND GERARD HIT IT OFF.

WHY WOULDN'T WE HIT IT OFF? HE'S GORGEOUS AND HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME.

TWO OF MY FAVORITE QUALITIES IN A MAN. YOU'RE THE BEST, DANNY.

WELL, HOLEY MOLEY, IT'S THE GOALIE.

( chuckles ) HEY, I'M LOOKING FOR A WHEELER--

KING-SIZED OR A MINI, EITHER WILL DO.

HEY, WHAT A COINCIDENCE. FANCY MEETING YOU HERE.

- ( chuckles ) - YOU COME HERE OFTEN?