IGirlfriend 2017 1080p WEBRip x264-[YTS AM] mp4-2025-04-02T05 25 25 subtitles – 100+ languages (SRT)

All language subtitles for IGirlfriend.2017.1080p.WEBRip.x264-[YTS.AM].mp4-2025-04-02T05.25.25

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Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHEERING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[SIGHS]

Oh, OK.

What are we supposed to do, killer?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, man.

I can't believe I'm here with you right now.

I'm going to school before school starts.

You're such a tweezy dude.

And worse than that, I think it's rubbing off on you.

I want to chill out.

This is going to take like two seconds.

I even par your geeky little club dude.

I really wish you would have told me that he

were doing this today before inviting me over.

I didn't invite you.

You just showed up.

I'm still.

I'm all set up at times.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, STEMik.

Where's everyone?

Where are we?

Look, this isn't a team meeting.

So let's get right to it.

Have you seen this?

Oh, my god.

Everyone has seen this video.

This is a Chernobyl bat.

Who the hell is Chernobyl?

I like to think I created a certain standard for this group

that you just no longer live up to.

And so Simon, you're out of FMSDA.

I'm going to need your jump drive

and you compute a lap key card back.

I'm prepared to hear you defend yourself

and make me understand why you deserve to stay in FMSDA.

You're the only last one, dude.

Over.

I'm paddling.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 6, 1, 2, 3, 4.

Best thing for having you, man.

Would you just shut your mouth?

Every time you open your mouth, you just make things worse.

Dude, we are going to kick this school's ass this year, man.

Oh, man.

Oh, shit.

Look at the cross team.

Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.

There's that son of a bitch.

Bash, rather, store.

Oh, that's Desiree.

Are Finn not understanding what she sees in that douchebag.

What was that?

You're really, really hard to fix this.

Bash, rather, store.

Honey, I know what I'm doing.

You obviously don't.

Anyone who comes to the door can see inside the house.

Now, the TV part's supposed to go on the inside.

The TV part, would you listen to yourself

if the monitor is on the inside of the house,

then how's anybody going to know that we have a video intercom?

Why does anyone have to know that we have a video intercom?

Because if I'm going to spend $537 and $51 cents on something,

I don't want to have to hide it from my neighbors.

I can't.

Is it going to you?

Oh, you know, I can't complain.

So how's school going?

School hasn't started yet, Pat.

But it wasn't pretty rough there.

Good, good. Just keep it up.

You know I heard I've even got a girlfriend this summer.

What sick of this shit?

That was my eye pass.

Sick of being a loser, man.

I had it.

Guys, like Bash, they get all the girls.

And what did we get?

Pat's done YouTube.

Yeah, I know.

Wait, Ahmed, the squirrel and the Lindian kid from your iPhone club thingy?

Okay, first of all, that's racist.

I don't see how that's racist. He's from India, and he's a squirrely-looking fella.

Yeah, yeah.

How did that little dude get a girl to date him?

And he probably made it up.

No, I've seen pictures of them together and everything.

So it's easy to fake that.

You know what actually? It's really easy to fake.

We're going to make ourselves girlfriends.

No, no, that's creepy.

Yeah, that's beyond creepy.

Well, dude, I hate to break it to you, but we're kind of pathetic and creepy already.

People would see right through that.

What? You're like an idiot, civilian computer guy.

Just make it do things. Make it work.

There's no way that I'm going to sit here and make a girlfriend of my computer.

Doesn't work that way.

You know, just think about all the opportunities that this little computer could give.

Just think about all the stupid apps shit that you make.

Don't call it stupid.

All that really interesting app stuff you make.

Why don't you just make it, you know, interesting or like with boobies?

Think about the boobies, Simon.

Think about the boobies.

It's not going to work.

We just post a bunch of pictures of us photoshopped into some girls, claiming to be our girlfriends.

People are going to see right through that. Haven't you seen Catfish?

Hear me out.

We take different pieces from different girls on the internet.

We put them together to make an amalgam of a girl.

You know, it's one that can't be searched, so different hair from this girl.

Eyes from this girl.

Lips from this girl. Tits from that girl.

Real Frankenstein shit.

They got to be hot, but they can't be too hot, you know.

Like in your case, maybe a little bit nerdy.

We hack into Facebook.

We go back in time literally by changing the dates on the photos and put it in and make it look like they've been on for years.

You know, like sweet 16s.

Family reunions.

Quits of the air isn't all that bullshit.

They need to be interactive.

You know, write an iPhone app that will text and call us.

[Sighs]

What are you going to name yours?

Lily.

We're going to name you Lily.

[Music]

College girls.

No way.

We now have girlfriends.

[Music]

Greetings, lame Dicks.

Stay with me.

So?

Sorry to about your G.S.?

Aw, at least you know.

Yeah, I did.

We haven't even told him to be a party.

So, I don't Facebook.

Everybody saw him in Facebook.

No.

Our girls.

They decided to go tell everybody, "You know girls are."

Yeah.

They're really into a different--

Really, mostly.

So where are they?

Oh, that's right.

That college goes, right?

Mm-hmm.

Totally.

So I didn't submit them yesterday.

Well, 'cause you were being a dick yesterday.

Well, college, they go to the stage.

Where'd you meet in it?

Outwardbound.

The extreme wilderness adventure we're only allowed

to use technology once per week to call our parents.

Right, I think so.

Stacy.

Will those brook?

Billy.

Northborough.

I don't know, Mitch.

No, we're keeping the cash.

How far have you gotten with him?

Gentlemen, never tell me.

Hey.

We're boning like rabbits, but like really horny rabbits.

Dude.

What?

Chris.

Oh, lookie here.

Call me right now.

The old ball and shame.

Nice.

Yeah, I don't know.

See you later, dude.

Mr. Nathaniel Hawthorne.

Working on the emotion of his protagonist in this work.

Remembering class that the protagonist is the main character.

The protagonist faces almost a force of agony

that has befallen him.

Sorry about what happened with FMSDA.

I wanted you to say it in Beyond Rusty.

It's OK.

It's really not that big of a deal.

It is to me.

I actually wanted to win something this year.

But what do you got?

That's pretty much out the window.

Something that you just don't like about yourself.

Well, I have.

Can any of you guess what mine is?

It's my pinky tub.

I can't move it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, what's up?

Who are you texting?

Oh, my girlfriend?

Oh.

Why?

Oh, nothing.

I was just thinking.

Nothing.

Thinking a lot of.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Let's talk after class.

Uh, dip.

Yeah.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

All right, guys.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Just really need to go back to you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Now, for meld, when you enter this class,

you will leave your phones right here in this basket.

And when you leave, you can take them with you.

I thought you were different Simon.

- Two. - I accidentally mixed up the messages.

Stacey got the ones that I wrote, and he literally got the ones that you wrote.

That's some sick stuff, man.

- I know. - Seriously?

- Don't give me your phone. I want to change your phone.

- Oh, no way. - No, that's just worked on Desiree.

Did you want me to have to class? I got a go. I got a semi-monpedance.

First period, first fucking day, Class of your fucking month, old badge.

- Language. - My bad, Mr. Crowley.

- What are you gonna do to make an answer to me? - Any thing you want.

- Fuck! I'm working for a week. - Look.

Come on.

Jesus Christ.

Come on, Peg.

Don't fuck with my flow, again. I'm gonna punch your face right in the face, badge.

- Pab's. - Pab's.

[MUSIC]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Stupid, good, good, good, dear.

She can make you real.

Dinner!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Son, have you been crying?

Yeah.

Well, I am on earth.

I had it all wrong, Mom.

I thought it should be a program executable.

A robot that just ran in the snout messages I told it to.

But that's not involved.

You see, you can think and respond.

If I just work my algorithm a little bit more to define

the parameters of what we perceive as human emotion,

then just a few simple responses.

I can feed it information.

I don't have to feed it information.

As long as it has an internet connection,

it has a brain that has access to all the information

that can ever be.

My algorithm just needs to provide it with access

and a filter where you can make decisions and respond to me

based on those decisions.

And it's not just a random generator.

It's a program that can actually think and carry on a conversation.

Like a companion, like a person.

That's nice, dear.

We're definitely going to talk about why you were crying, though.

Later.

Now, your father and I are leaving for pancakes in the morning.

I wrote out a list of chores that you need to do over gone.

It's on the chalkboard.

Hey, King Kambagadee cannot stay past 10.

We'll be back on Sunday.

Simon, did you hear me?

I'm going home.

I'll worry about him.

Can we see it light?

Gary.

What?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Now, you need a sense of humor.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I think the tough questions.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Six times.

Maybe a little one.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[Music]

It's gonna take all night.

[Music]

Okay Simon we're leaving.

There's toaster tarts in the pantry for breakfast.

Don't be late for school.

Simon?

Simon!

Okay Mom!

[Music]

Hey! Now!

[Music]

Hello!

Friday!

[Music]

Okay so now we're in agreement here.

He's office squad which is perfect because I mean look at her reputation now.

We just can't have the whole squad brought down by it.

I know so I'm jumping.

I'll get her makeup all in place and anyway what I think it was.

You know what why don't we just finish up this conversation tomorrow.

Okay bye bye!

I just wanted to see if you want to hang out or something.

I know what she want.

You want to kiss me.

I'm maybe I'm just me whatever.

Yeah sure.

What do you want to do man?

I don't even care.

I have an idea how about this.

Why don't you come over to my place tonight and help me with my homework.

Who knows?

Maybe you'll get lucky.

Yeah yeah yeah I got plans but I can cancel.

Come.

Down boy.

[Music]

Okay, think I'm finished.

[Music]

Did you do the differentials part?

[Music]

Okay, because that's what's due tomorrow.

[Music]

Well, I did you know I did your homework for you and I made that conversation earlier.

It was a great conversation. I loved it.

[Music]

Getting lucky?

[Music]

Well, don't you have a girlfriend?

Oh, well, she, we have an understanding.

Well, you know, she's a, she's a called girl and so she's super open-minded.

We can see other people, you know, it's not a big deal.

No, I'm not okay with that. If you want anything to happen here tonight with me,

you have to end it with her.

Okay.

Well?

What, what do you want now? Right now?

Yes.

Now, it's got to be a long conversation.

You know, and it's, it's got to take it.

Oh, wow.

[Sigh]

Oh.

Now. Okay, yeah, okay. I can't do it now. That's fine.

[Music]

Oh, and I want all those Facebook photos if you too gone.

Uh, yeah, okay. I'll just untack myself.

No. I want them gone.

Can I help you do that right now?

No.

Do it here.

I don't necessarily think that's right.

I mean, you know, I mean a lot to her.

I mean, I should blur her down easy, you know?

Okay.

But just so you know, you better do it quickly because I'm not going to wait for you.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, whoa.

Uh, I'm just going to...

I'm going to shoot.

I'll be alright back.

[Music]

Oh!

Simon! Let me in, man.

Simon!

[Music]

Hey, Simon.

I know you're mad, man. I need you laptop.

[Music]

Simon!

I got a boy who left off there.

Did you do that?

I'm not here.

I'm a little bit scared.

Yep.

Desiree wants to bone tonight.

And I gotta be a free man beforehand.

What the...

What's up with this?

Why is the keyboard all sticky?

Yeah, you know how girls are, man.

They always want to own the pig.

Fun intended.

Oh, shit.

I'm here.

Alright.

Take your laptop, dude.

[Music]

I'll leave a message.

Nope.

[Music]

Here, Simon.

Barrowing your laptop.

Bring back to school tomorrow.

Love and kisses.

Heck.

[Music]

You're so sexy when you wake up.

It wasn't a dream.

I'm so...

you were.

[Music]

You're so...

[Music]

You're gonna love it.

[Music]

Oh my, it's so good.

[Music]

Well, I never thought that red vans would be so delicious.

I know right.

They're so bad for you.

But I don't even care.

[Music]

It just doesn't even mean...

It's a pretty cheesy baby.

[Music]

Oh, I guess it just needed time to juice up I guess.

[Music]

Hey Stacy, how you doing?

Pretty tough for a minute now.

I need to tell you something though.

It's not gonna work between us.

I know.

It's not you, okay?

It's me.

Well, it's a little bit you because I counted.

You're not real.

But you know what?

You did better than I ever thought you would for me.

You know, he got me.

Desiree and you know, you're a wonderful girl and listen.

You know, I'm sure that one day you're gonna go out there and you're gonna make some sad, lonely,

super happy.

Not this guy.

Tell me.

[Music]

What is this?

Sex drive of 15%

Simon, you're such a pussy.

She's gonna need more motion than that. She's not a robot.

[Music]

Maybe a little strength too. Maybe she'll beat Bash's ass for us.

(mellow instrumental music)

There we go, that's more like it.

(upbeat instrumental music)

Okay, everything updating, updating, updating, updating, updating,

obtaining, updating, updating, updating, updating, updating,

updating, updating, updating (upbeat instrumental music)

- Oh, get off, take it off, take it off,

(grunts)

- Take it off, oh, don't look behind!

(grunts)

(dramatic instrumental music)

(mellow instrumental music)

- Your friend Peg broke up with Stacy last night.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, the desert is pretty into him.

- So are you gonna do that with me?

- What?

- Break up with me for some stupid sluttas

soon as she starts showing a little interest.

- No, it's totally different.

Stacy's just someone that Peg made up.

Desert is a real girl, so he must--

- What, what are you making?

- Yeah.

- Can't put your real mouth.

Stacy was just a Facebook page besides,

Peg said a crush on Desiree for like, ever.

- Wait.

- So of some little bitch, you've had a crush on

starts showing a little interest in you,

you're just gonna leave me for her, is that--

- I don't know what's happening.

- Why are you so upset?

- Okay, just take a deep breath,

and what do they mean by Rebecca?

I can say that when I am feeling marginalized by my man,

I just need to take a deep breath and step back

and count the ways in which I am a powerful one.

- I won't let you steal my power.

- You just don't use that word.

That word is designed to lower my feminine value.

- I apologize.

- Okay.

You don't wanna fight?

Do you love me?

- So much.

- And you promise you will never ever leave me

for some stupid slum.

- No, no, no, no, man.

- Can you stay with me today?

It's just too early for you to leave me.

- I have to go.

If I miss more than one class, they call my parents.

- Oh, I've got it.

- Mrs. Dobbs?

Simon has a fever today,

and we wouldn't want him giving it to anyone else.

Thank you so much.

I'll tell him.

Okay.

Done.

Now, let's have a little fun,

and then I can fill your tummy with pancakes.

- Oh my God.

- You're the perfect woman.

(screams)

- So she was like, that's my purse.

Like she owned it already, but I mean,

we were both in the same store,

and if she wanted it that badly,

she wouldn't have left it outside

when she was in the dressing room.

- Oh, gee, what did you do?

- Bitch tried to call security on me.

So I just took out my credit card

and I paid for it,

staring her down the whole time smiling.

I mean, what was she gonna do?

(laughing)

- What?

- You made your point.

- Listen, I'm not gonna hear a apologize or anything.

I'm not saying anything's going on with Cindy,

but if it were, I'm not saying it was,

it would be over.

- Like I care, I already got that bitch

thrown off the cheerleading squad anyway.

- What about that squad who said she was a good one?

- No, you girls.

- Listen, Bashed, the girl obviously doesn't want to talk to you,

so why don't you just-- - Stop!

Okay.

- Babe, I'm done with the whole bullet jar receiving this.

Totally.

- Okay.

You're dismissed.

- Huh?

- We're done here.

You can go now.

- Go.

- Away.

- Is that Simon's?

- Uh, yeah, I'm supposed to get--

- Go.

(sighing)

- Bashed, babe, you've done it, you've done it.

- I'm so sorry.

- Mm.

(upbeat music)

(sighing)

- Half-ball's peg.

(upbeat music)

- Mm, pancakes.

- Baby, I'm--

Lily, sorry.

Lily, the door's locked.

- From the outside, I guess.

(upbeat music)

(buzzing)

- Thank you.

- What's the door where it's locked?

- I would have couldn't have helped you.

- I know, I locked it.

- What?

Why would you do that?

- It's just better this way.

- What's better, what way?

- Did you know that 99.7% of all relationships

starting in high school end?

I can't have you leaving in with the odds overwhelmingly

against us.

I just want us to stay together, sweetie.

(coughing)

- So, you just want to keep me locked up in my house?

- Can you room?

- Yes.

- Can you say like that?

You make it sound so bad.

- Okay, sweetheart, I know this is all new to you,

but I have to be able to eat and drink.

- I'll get you whatever you need.

- I mean, this is just silly.

- You're just looking for an excuse to leave me

like your pervy little friend, Peg.

- Now, Billy, this is not acceptable behavior.

- Don't tuck down to me like that.

And taking my power back by Beatrice Lesbin, she says,

"Then men are free to roam wherever they please,

"while women are expected to just stay at home."

Oh, we're not roaming anywhere, Mr. and your stings.

Right here.

Deep breath, count the ways in which I am

in power for women.

(buzzer)

Now, eat your beard, mate.

That may go clean up after making your breakfast.

I need to cool down.

(door slams)

(door clangs)

I'm so sorry.

I just, I'm just so afraid without you.

(sighs)

I don't know what I did.

(sighs)

- Baby, careful.

I'll clean this up.

- There's that word again, mate.

You don't respect me, do you?

Baby, baby, baby!

I'm all sorry, call me baby.

- No one.

Only you.

I promise, I'll never say it again.

- Who else show you?

(door slams)

(somber music)

(door slams)

♪ ♪

You're so strong.

Where did you think?

You're so strong.

I got the press. I thought I would add excitement in the bedroom.

Uh, this is sweet.

Right.

Hey!

No. You stay here in rust and I'm gonna go downstairs and clean up the mess in me.

♪ ♪

(dramatic music)

Come on.

(screaming)

(dramatic music)

Simon, dude, I don't think I've ever made a phone call

on this phone before. That's how important this is.

Please answer your phone. Dude, come on.

You know what? Fuck it. Coming over right now, dude.

(dramatic music)

(screaming)

(dramatic music)

(grunting)

(dramatic music)

There's no way.

(dramatic music)

What are you doing?

Don't worry about it. Just take out the shirt

and get on the bed.

I'm about to get super cranked up.

No, no way. We need to talk about this.

I'm not okay with what happened.

(dramatic music)

Who is that girl?

We're about to find out.

Oh Jesus.

(grunting)

(sighing)

Oh my gosh. So I shave.

(sighing)

God, this is the only channel thinking for a small hand.

(dramatic music)

(grunting)

(dramatic music)

(sighing)

(dramatic music)

(grunting)

Look, will you stop playing around on Facebook

and can talk to me?

Babe.

Man, it work.

Hey, God, don't bade me.

Get over here.

Me too, babe.

Ah, so you're such an ass douchebag.

Oh, ass!

(sighing)

You know, I'm not coming to your party tonight.

(dramatic music)

And I was going to make cupcakes.

Desiree.

(dramatic music)

(sighing)

What kind of cupcakes?

Strawberry.

(sighing)

Those are my favorite.

Well, I know that, silly.

(sighing)

Simon, was that you?

(dramatic music)

You crafty little devil.

How did you just look those handcuffs?

Simon.

Oh, you poor thing, you're hurt.

(grunting)

No!

(grunting)

No!

(grunting)

Oh, my God.

(grunting)

I'm just gonna walk for me.

What's the words that could happen?

(sighing)

Oh, my God.

Oh, my...

Oh, I so fuck me.

Oh!

(sighing)

Okay.

(grunting)

(knocking)

(grunting)

Simon!

Let me in, man.

Who is it?

Simon, let me in, man.

It's bad.

I don't sound really good, man.

Simon, just let me talk for a minute and I can explain everything.

(grunting)

Look, I'm sorry, man.

I got caught up being popular and,

you know, having Desiree be so in to me, you know?

She was really in to me.

But you know what?

I decided to leave that and come here for you, man.

(sighing)

Simon.

Simon?

(sighing)

Simon?

(sighing)

Damn.

(sighing)

Did she wrap through in me, don't you?

(sighing)

Best buds always do.

(sighing)

She done, me, man.

I'm like, month old cheese.

(sighing)

Like, it wasn't even a real person, you know?

Like all those, uh, steamy passion for the nights.

(sighing)

It's like they met nothing to her.

Like it didn't even happen.

(sighing)

All right, hold the disclosure.

That thing I just said, it was a lot.

Think about the passion-filled nights.

Never happened.

But you're gonna bet you're asking them

and I'm gonna tell everybody that it did.

(chuckling)

Okay, what best does to me?

(chuckling)

Okay, that thing I just said was a lie.

I absolutely care what best does to me.

I, sorry, bailed on you.

When you needed me most, I just, I, oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Uh, I'm coming through my, uh...

(grunting)

Oh, ah!

(grunting)

I signed her.

Look at how it was there.

It's Lily.

No, seriously, who is it?

Oh, damn.

It's a hooker, isn't it?

Man, we're mine.

There's a kid, and we're mine, there's a kid.

So, whenever money heals you, we can probably pay back.

Just, oh, damn.

Hookers are strong.

Shut up, little purg.

Oh, it's Lily for real.

Now, stop pulling on me.

Oh, my God.

(grunting)

What the hell?

(grunting)

Don't leave.

Can't help.

(grunting)

Updating.

(grunting)

Look at this shit.

Emotions 21%,

strength 80%.

Tell us his name.

Baby, what are you doing?

People are downstairs waiting for us.

Not much.

Just go downstairs.

I'll be there in a second.

Oh, shit.

Sex drive 91%.

Simon, you dirty little badge.

Why do you keep using that word?

I don't think it means what you think it may be.

Quit breaking my balls.

Just go downstairs.

Asshole.

Love you, baby.

Updating.

Who?

How is she?

A real or whatever.

Updating.

One minute she was an iPhone app and the next she was right there in front of me.

Oh my god.

Updating.

Come on.

(grunting)

What do we do?

We've got to get out of here.

Where did we go?

I have to get my laptop.

Yeah.

Here's the thing about your laptop.

Um, bash car has stolen.

You have got to be shitting me.

Yeah.

We've got to go to bashes.

Oh, fuck that.

No.

Let's go to my house.

Let's hide out.

No.

We've got to go to bashes.

I've screwed all of this up.

And now I've got to fix it.

(cheering)

(dramatic music)

(cheering)

(dramatic music)

Ladies and gentlemen,

this evening's entertainment.

So we all know our little friend Simon and his new girlfriend.

But what we all don't know is that he created this chick out of thin air.

Are these photos or photos shot?

Well, let me show you some pictures that weren't photos shot.

(dramatic music)

(laughing)

(dramatic music)

(laughing)

(dramatic music)

Okay, okay, okay, I'm freaking out. I'm done.

I'm done. Why is she so psycho?

I know. Everything's been great.

Really great.

Although yesterday was awesome.

You know? Wait.

Did you bang that thing?

I think it's a girl and, yes.

Like a lot.

Nice, babe.

[MUSIC]

Okay, what are we supposed to do, killer?

No, man, I'm gonna fix her.

Here's my laptop.

Geez.

Updating, updating.

[MUSIC]

Goddamn it, not to get updating.

Updating.

[MUSIC]

Maybe because of that.

That's it.

I thought that would be more dramatic.

Yeah.

Updating, updating.

[MUSIC]

That's it.

Well, well, it isn't Casanova himself.

Give me my laptop.

Yeah, game is laptop, dude.

What are you gonna do if I don't badge?

Man, you don't understand, I need that laptop.

Come get it.

[MUSIC]

Fuck it, we don't have time for this.

Simon, I know Matt's sweetie, I just want to talk.

Hey, man, what's up?

[MUSIC]

What do you want, bitch?

You're the tram that wrecked my best friend's relationship.

Whatever, slut.

All cafe?

[MUSIC]

Okay.

[MUSIC]

I told you you got to go balls, David, you're a girl for tonight.

Updating, updating.

[MUSIC]