Original subtitles

One of my big duties... and I've been doing it

for the last five years or so... is evacuation procedures.

There's a fire in the school, everyone.

There's a fire. There's a fire in the school. Get out quick!

I find that I use my acting skills

to create the drama of the situation.

Christ above, this isn't happening!

Oh Christ.

It adds a lot of realism and it really freaks the kids out.

Miss Allen from the library's got third-degree burns.

One big problem that a lot of schools

are having to deal with at the moment is terrorism.

It's a big issue, so I have a drill which caters for that too.

There's a terrorist attacking the school!

I'm serious! Get down. Get in a tight ball, everyone!

And I also do what I call a random drill,

which is I spring some kind of emergency onto the kids

and we see how they deal with it.

There's a kid in the school with a gun!

There's a kid with a gun! There's kids down.

Go, I'm serious. Mrs. Wong, get them out.

There's a pedophile, he's in the school. Get out.

He's on the school grounds.

Yes, I think a school with a good evacuation procedure

is a school that survives.

That'll be at lunchtime on Friday.

That'll be at lunchtime on Friday.

And it'll be in full costume so you boys can get used to the skirts.

What if you can't be fucked doing it on the day?

I've just come back from a weekend workshop

on EPBSM,

which is Extreme Behavioral Problem Student Management.

I want to see Thomas, Joseph, Leon and Jonah at the front here.

- The rest of you can go. - What the fuck for, sir?

Come and talk to me, boys.

What they've found

is that if you have a problem child

and you give them extra responsibility,

then they can rise to it.

I want to assign to you a group of year-seven boys

who are not coping well in the school.

I'll assign one to each of you

and I want you to be what I call a big brother to them.

- No way, sir. That sucks! - No way!

We hate year sevens.

- It's a shit idea. - Okay, hear me out.

Now, Jonah, you'd be the leader.

It's not our fault they've got no friends.

It's not your fault, but as an added incentive,

if you can do this program seriously,

I'll let you do a break-dancing demo

- at assembly on Poly Day. - Oh, sharp!

- Sharp, man. - You've got to do the program.

- Sharp, sir. - You're a legend, sir.

- Thanks, sir. - Okay. All right.

- Let's go, boys. - I'll come

and introduce you to them at recess.

- Thank you. - All right.

Roll it, roll it. Keep it sexy.

Remember, you're having the best night of your lives.

Wiggle the bum more please, Candice.

We are midway through rehearsals

for "Annabel Dickson: The Musical."

And the machine, I call it,

is finding its rhythm.

Remember, Annabel really going off. You've taken the Ecstasy.

♪ She's a naughty girl with a bad habit... ♪

These are the sort of schoolyard bin,

but we've added this lighting effect.

These are lovely. These are our school benches.

If you can imagine coming on.

These are the Ecstasy pills, which are a lightweight polystyrene

for... the dancing purposes.

These are for the cutters...

the kids that are into the cutting on the arms.

So various suicidal themes

which the teenagers are into. A noose.

We sort of simulate a hanging sort of thing.

I'm finding that I'm weaving the character of Mr. G

into the musical a lot more than I expected I would.

♪ She's a naughty girl with a bad habit ♪

- ♪ Bad habit for drugs... ♪ - Sell it to me, Mr. G.

Matthew is my dream Mr. G.

He's got the look. He's a very... I mean, he's a good-looking boy.

♪ She's a naughty girl with a bad habit... ♪

And these are our costume ladies. Say hello, Moms.

Hi.

We're doing a variation on the school uniform

and just teasing it up

with some more stage-friendly fabrics.

These are our slut outfits, the slut outfits

that the girls will be wearing in the nightclub scene.

Your Rosie's gonna look lovely in that onstage, Mrs. Travis.

Isn't she? Yeah.

I'll leave you to it.

We haven't got long, so don't...

less chat, more sewing.

Okay, guys, listening please.

Raise your hand in the air if you're happy

with the new girls' school uniform concept.

It's been an amazing week.

I've set up a student representative council,

an SRC, and all my friends are in it,

and Ashley 'cause she begged to be in it.

And we're doing what we can to make

some really cool changes around the school.

Mobile phones allowed in class for texting purposes only.

It's a bit distracting.

Overruled. I'm president, Ashley.

The school grounds are so crap, seriously.

So I'm thinking like Diet Coke machines along there, guys.

Yeah, up against that wall.

The mirrors in the girls' toilets are really crap and dirty.

- Disgusting. - They're small, so we want big ones,

really massive ones, like full-length so you can see your footwear.

We need another cleaner. Let's get like two more full-time cleaners.

We want to get a girls'-only year-11 common room, where there's

- like laptops and stuff for everyone. - That would be so cool.

So there's like wireless internet,

like so we can just chat on MSN at lunchtimes to each other.

- Tarnish this. - Like an Indian canopy.

- Tarnish it. - Yeah.

These should be higher.

This is so low, guys. Look what I have to do.

Awesome idea. Let me get that down.

What about a study room?

Ashley, shut up, please.

One of the big things that we're doing,

and I'm so excited about it,

is we're doing a year-11 formal.

I can't believe you guys have never had one here.

We did, but they banned it 'cause they think it's a distraction.

Is that why? Oh, I thought it was the povo factor.

You've been to about five, haven't you?

Yeah, well, six actually.

It's really embarrassing.

- Six formals? - Yeah, I started going in year seven.

I just want to show these guys how to have a good time.

Just 'cause you go to a public school doesn't mean you can't go off.

- Fuck. - Fuck.

- We never should have agreed to this. - They look gay-ass.

They look like they don't even have pubes.

Come on down, boys.

These are your year-seven little brothers.

Guys, these are your year-eight mentors.

You guys have to find each other every morning,

every recess, every lunchtime.

And you younger guys, you know like we talked about,

if you have any issues, any problems,

you talk to your big brother.

All right now, Jonah, as team leader I thought you might like

to run a little getting-to-know-you session,

So I'll leave you with that responsibility?

- Okay, sir. - Good luck, guys.

- Fuck. - You got the fat one.

You got a fucking wranger and a fat one.

- I'm gonna talk to them. - Dude, talk to them?

- We have to. - I'm not talking to them. Screw you.

We have to if you want the break-dancing demo.

- We have to fucking do it. - Fuck you. I'm not talking.

I'm gonna do it.

- So have you got problems? - Nice new friends, Jonah!

Shut the fuck up! They're not my friends, motherfucker!

I have to do it as a program!

They're homos!

So Pedophile Pete said that you've got social problems or some shit?

The fat one, tell me first.

You go down like this.

I needed a fairly big space to put on the show

and the hall wasn't big enough,

so I've booked out the gym till the end of term...

Come in quietly, grab your balls and leave.

...so I'm Phys Ed's least-favorite person at the moment.

Shut the door, please, David.

I decided that I'm going to do the show as an arena spectacular.

Um, the arena-style seating will cascade upwards

in a circular motion around. We're hiring that in.

Normally, you play to the front of a stage,

but in the arena, it's all around.

It's around everywhere. I'm performing there there there there.

I'm using Toby, the Down-syndrome boy.

He's back. He auditioned for the show,

didn't get in. He was devastated,

so I've brought him back as my assistant.

You need to get a highlighter and highlight these points for me.

He's really a sounding board.

If I have ideas,

we chat about that.

And, you know, he's my little creative advisor.

What do you think about getting Mr. G and Celine

- to do two circuits instead of one? - Yeah.

- What do you think, one or two? - I think one.

You know, he sits at his desk.

He's not really allowed to leave the desk.

But, you know, he's getting to see how it works.

Where's a pen? Get me a pen, please.

I'm sorry, Ja'mie. We can't have the formal.

It's been a blanket rule here now for five years

- that there are no formals. - Why not?

It's a distraction from schoolwork

and we just can't be held accountable

for your actions at a formal.

- We really wanted the formal. - It's a formal. Just let us have it.

Ja'mie, girls, it's just not gonna happen.

- Okay? - Oh my God.

I can't believe that just happened.

I'm not taking no for an answer, guys.

I really want the formal.

I just don't think there's anything.

He was so definite, wasn't he?

He had no good reasons.

"No, you can't have a formal because I say."

- Yeah. - He's just a dick.

We've got to think of something else, guys.

- We will think of something else. - There's nothing.

- Shut up, guys. I thought of an idea. - What?

Oh my God. We could do like a hunger strike.

Like, just don't eat.

- For how long? - Don't eat, say we'll keep not eating

- until you let us have the formal. - Oh my God.

Seriously. We could get the whole of year 11 involved.

And we could all go down to the oval,

- like first period tomorrow. - Have, like, a banner!

Saying, "Give us a formal or else."

- Oh my God. - Prepare to starve oursleves to death.

We should make pamphlets and hand them out to everyone.

We should text everyone about it.

Hey, wranger. Wranger...

go and get me a strawberry break from the canteen.

You pay for it.

- Tell your wranger to do it. - Do it.

We've worked out that there's some good things

about having the little brothers around.

You can make them do shit for you, like your homework.

- Write this for me, bro. - Okay.

Do deep writing. I have to hand this shit in.

It's kinda good, kinda bad.

They just make us do all this stuff

that's like really mean.

- Hey, wranger. - They call us names that we don't like.

- They call me fatty. - They call me wranger.

They call me gay.

Go and get me my bag from my locker,

- and don't drop it. - Give me strawberry milk first.

We have to be careful when teachers go past.

- Give me the ball. - Make it look like we're doing it.

Just teaching the boys about some footie.

Hey, sir, just talking about life and social problems.

- What do you need to know? - All right, carry on.

Um, yeah, so, little brother...

- Good talking, Jonah. - Sharp, man.

I want to thank you all for your role in meeting the deadlines.

- So thank you for that. - Sorry I'm late.

Sorry, rehearsal, hectic.

Greg, I need a copy of your script

for your show, please, 'cause Annabel's parents

- are very keen to read it. - Yep.

- Yes. - Okay, good.

Moving on, the ramps should be done

in the demountables today for the new Special Ed room.

So we'll be shifting the multimedia gear

into that space that they've occupied.

Sorry. What's going where?

Special Ed's moving into one of the demountables.

- Temporarily. - Uh, no, permanently.

I've had the room fixed up and there's ramps there.

No no, that's where we're putting the Performing Arts Center.

That's the site for the Performing Arts Center.

We agreed that we're going to leave them empty so the department agrees

to knock them down. We've talked about it a million times.

Greg, Drama's important, I know that, but we haven't got the money...

Why do you think I'm working my head off on the production?

So we do have the money to build it.

I appreciate that. I know you're doing your very best,

but I just can't change the plans now.

Now, Greg, a couple of the parents of the Special Ed kids

have asked me why their children

are not actually going to be in the production.

- Special Ed? - Yes.

The Special Ed kids didn't get through the audition.

I'd like to see that they get involvement in the production.

I mean, we can't have a school with prejudice and exclusivity and so on.

So I'd like you to make sure those kids are included.

Well, I don't see why I should be making exceptions

for kids that didn't get through the audition.

Well, Greg, I'm telling you to do that, please.

I don't want to have to ask you again.

- Fine. - Okay?

Now the last item...

Starving for the formal.

We're meeting on the oval, first period.

Starving for the formal. See you on the oval.

Mr. Cameron is totally gonna freak out

when he sees the whole year 11 starving on the oval. It's gonna be so cool.

Did you do around the lockers? Go around year-11 lockers.

I think it's really important to stand up for yourself.

Like, when you really want something, you just gotta go for it.

Ja'mie, did you tell everyone it was first period?

- Yes, of course I did, idiot. - It's really bright.

- The banner looks awesome. - We're getting our point across anyway.

- Yeah. - Are any of you guys hungry?

We've been here for like 10 minutes.

You told me you were anorexic. Obviously, you were lying.

You don't have to be a bitch to me. I was.

Deal with it. We're starving for a cause.

I know how to starve myself. I'm just saying.

- Mr. Cameron. - Get off the oval, get to class now!

- Shit. - Oh my God.

Stupid behavior, Ja'mie. And you girls are stupid for following.

- We just want a formal. - Get to class.

Sorry, sir. I'm really sorry.

You want Miss Murray involved?

Jonah? Jonah.

Come here a second, please, mate.

Did you or did you not agree to put in a decent effort on this program?

Yeah, but he pissed off. It's not my fault he left.

Jonah, he left because he came to tell me

that not only were you neglecting him, but that you'd decided

it was appropriate to pick on him and call him names!

Yeah, I just made a comment about him being fat.

He is, sir. Look at him.

Jonah, I gave him to you because he's not coping socially.

- He called me a lardass homo. - As a joke, idiot.

Do you think that's appropriate to say to a person with confidence issues?

You said his mother must've fucked a whale to get that much blubber.

Leon, don't make this worse.

- He said I had manboobs. - Bullshit, I did.

I'm this close to banning the break-dancing demo on Poly Day.

- No fucking way, sir. - I am, yes.

Sorry, Lucas.

- I was only punking you anyway. - That's not an excuse anymore, Jonah.

I'm sick of this behavior.

- One last chance I'll give you. - Why don't you trust me for once, sir?

Tomorrow. Junior swimming carnival.

You and your mates are gonna chaperone

your little brothers for the whole day.

- We get to break-dance if we do that. - Yes, you can.

- It's a deal? - It's a deal, sir.

- Come on, Lucas. - We'll teach you some moves.

See you at swimming tomorrow, boys.

See you, sir. We missed you, Lucas.

- What'd you say to him? - What the fuck did you say to him?

- What the fuck did you do? - She's got no idea.

She doesn't have a showbiz bone in her body...

- no bloody idea. - Hardly seems fair at all.

I'm trying to maintain a standard. I'm trying to put on a good show.

And I don't need bloody Special-Education nightmares.

I'm not... I don't want them in my show.

Just don't let it upset you, mate.

We should never have bloody taken them.

Do you remember that meeting? We sat in there and they said,

"All raise hands to Special Ed," and I was hands down, no bloody way.

They're nothing but trouble.

I mean, they're great kids.

I love the kids. Don't get me wrong.

I think they're wonderful. Toby and I...

get along wonderfully, but there's a time and a place.

The kids themselves understood.

They came to the audition. They weren't good enough. They were told that.

They've had a life of not being good enough.

Surely they know it by now.

Do you know what we're getting?

Are they wheelchair or walking?

I've no idea. I mean, wheelchair, we're screwed

'cause we'll have to build ramps.

Although some of the non-wheelchair ones

aren't exactly easy on the eye.

You heard what happened at...

I can never remember the name.

They had the Special-Education facility, health department

- closed 'em down. - What happened?

Apparently, one of the parents

found human feces on the classroom floor.

Straight to the health department.

All handicapped kids are gone within 48 hours.

What sort of teaching environment has poo on the floor?

It's...

That's all it would take here, isn't it?

Just a little bit of poo on the floor and they'd shut us down?

- I think we should still not eat. - Yeah.

I think that should still happen.

The protest in the oval didn't really work,

- so I've come up with a new plan. - We have to be strong.

I'm gonna go and see Mr. Cameron and tell him

that I've started cutting my arms.

That's why I'm wearing the jumper.

So I'm just gonna go, "Oh my God, what do you want me to do?

I'm gonna kill myself if you don't let us have it."

Seriously. And if he doesn't let us have it then,

then he's a bastard and it's like murder.

He should go to jail or something.

'Cause I could die from cutting myself.

Sir, I'm just seriously upset.

And I can't believe I'm doing this to myself,

but you said we couldn't have it and it was just humiliating for me.

And I think that I'm gonna keep doing this until you let us have the formal.

Okay, well, I'll have a chat to Doug Peterson about the cutting situation.

I'm gonna get in contact with Child Protection Services

and we'll contact your parents as well and let them know what's going on.

Okay?

Alternatively,

I'm gonna put an idea to you Ja'mie and all you girls

that at the assembly next Friday

I'll be happy for the SRC

to do a presentation for us.

We will review it

and have a look and see where we stand on formals.

Oh my God. Thank you, sir.

I love presentations. This is gonna be so cool.

- So don't let me down. - Oh my God!

This is where we always hang out for the swimming carnival.

We call it Fob's Hill. Hey, sir!

Sir!

Hey!

Look at this. We're doing my tag on every motherfucker.

Here's my dick-tation tag. Get it?

See where it's coming from?

And Jonah's one. It says:

"Before I root you, are you over 16?"

Get it? Over 16.

Like rooting! The boys are doing it too.

The little brothers have all got the tag. Show them the tag.

Show them tags. Makes them feel like

they fit in socially with the group.

And look: "68-l-O-U-1."

Looking after little brothers is good.

I like being a leader.

Your boobs look fine. We're all waiting for you.

It's good to teach them things.

We put a zinc bra on him!

See? Gimme the zinc.

I wanna draw my dick on you.

A school that bans formals is a school that bans life.

Summer Heights High, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Firstly, formals can give hope.

They give povo people something to live for.

Lack of formals in a school

can also seriously affect the development of a girl.

Without formals,

you can seriously stunt girls socially and physically.

No offense, but it's not exactly fun around here.

A year-11 formal could do so much for this school.

Let me explain.

Formals bring people together.

They bring groups together and remove the apartheid of the playground.

- Emos... - Christian...

- Asians... - Skanks...

- Lesbian... - And hot girls

all come together at the formal.

It's a social and cultural melting pot that goes off.

Emos can dance with the jocks.

Christians sit with skanks.

Asians share limos with lesbians.

And my group talks to the fugly girls.

That's right, formals bring people together.

We got really bored,

so we got one of the little brothers to go and steal

this sheet from one of the teachers' clipboards

It's got all the phone numbers of all the teachers,

so we're gonna punk them. We're gonna take a photo of my bum

'cause their phone's... it's a camera phone.

- Press faster. - And we'll send it to all the teachers.

Put Miss Wheatley in.

Okay, Joseph, you ready?

Take the photo!

- Aw, man! - Let me see it!

- Give it to Elliot. - Wait wait wait wait.

Everyone look innocent.

- Just do innocent shit. - I can't believe we're doing this shit.

This is it, boys.

School without a formal: Action.

- I hate school so much. - School sucks.

Stop pushing me, sluts!

- You're a fat bitch! - You're the fat bitch.

And I hate you so much. You stupid Christian!

Freeze! See what I mean?

It's really bad.

School with a formal: Action.

Wow, I love school so much.

- Who's done the assignment? - I have.

It's such a great place to be.

School is so cool.

It's such a happy environment.

Freeze. See what I mean?

It's a much better place to be.

So please, Mr. Cameron,

reconsider and let us have a year-11 formal.

Before we go, I want to give you guys an example

of what you will look like going off

on the dance floor at the formal.

Thank you, Ashley.

Fuck, man.

He fuckin' got it, bro.

He knows, man. He's worked it out.

How does he fucking know? Maybe he's coming for Elliot.

Elliot's got a white ass, bro.

Get yourself changed and go and sit out the front.

What are you fuckin' talking about?

You are a bloody idiot. l'm sick of it.

lf your boyfriend's been sending you photos, it's not my fault.

lt's not him, sir. Check the number.

lt's probably one of the year sevens.

l know what l saw and l know it belongs to you.

How do you know what my ass looks like, sir?

- Have you been thinking about it? - Yeah.

You can forget about the break-dancing offer.

- lt's off. - l don't even care anyway!

- That's bullshit. - We don't even want to do that shit.

We're just trying to make it fun for the little brothers.

This is not on. lt's not on!

Now just get your stuff and get out of my sight!

They wanted to start it!

lt's bullshit.

- Delete the photo, sir. - See ya, bro.

You can't keep it for your private collection.

♪ School's hard sometimes, you just can't get by ♪

♪ You need something fast to get you high ♪

♪ Marijuana or maybe Ecstasy ♪

♪ Stop, no, take this advice from me... ♪

Pick her up, drop the dog.

♪ Don't get involved with drugs ♪

♪ Just fill your life with hugs ♪

♪ Don't get in-- don't get involved ♪

♪ With drugs. ♪

Good. We have some visitors.

Stop you there. Thanks, Rodney.

Just talk amongst yourselves, guys. Hi.

Mr. Gregson, l'd like you to meet your latest cast members.

- Hi. - Diane and Jonathan.

Hello. Jonathan, if l can get you to come on through

and meet the rest of the cast?

Guys, we have some new cast members.

Toby, you might want to talk too.

- Hey, how you going? - Oh, not too bad.

How's the new Special-Ed Center going?

Oh, fine. No problems at all.

They have pretty messy rooms down there.

They can be stuffy. We've had the cleaners in this morning

and they've steam-cleaned the carpet-- it looks brilliant.

- Oh, did you? - l've just come from there, actually.

Nothing to report then?

No no no no, it's going very well.

Yeah, the room's terrific.

- Okay. - Things going well here for you then?

Yeah. Yeah, it's good.

lt's all coming along.

All right, Greg, l'll leave it to you

and thanks very much for not making a fuss.

- Yes, right. - Much appreciated.

Thanks. Hello.

We'll get you up on stage.

Rodney, could l get you to jot down ''ramps and masks,'' please.

l've spoken to Miss Murray about this issue

and we agree that if the SRC are that keen

and they promise to organize everything,

then we will go ahead with the formal.

Thank you, sir.

Play the music again. Here we go.

Okay, we'll have to move on. Let's have the music off.

Thank you, girls. Please.

Just turn the music off.

We've got a few other things to get through.

- l'm going there. - Come on then.

Why don't you come and get me?

- What, are we stand in there all day? - Maybe.

l can't believe you got your fucking feet wet! You got your pants wet, sir.

We are on in 10 days.

Greg's really feeling the strain at the moment.

You look like a bloody braindead retard.

l'm really a big pussycat.

Don't push me, Margaret.

You called her daughter a walrus.

Through the hoop. Stop looking at me.

- ♪ ...want to go to school ♪ - That was shit.

Year-11 formal tickets. Hands up if you think we should invite the lesbians.

lt's such a good look, going with a disabled guy.

l went with a black guy to my year-10 formal for the same reason.

The formal committee has decided that lesbians can come to the formal.

- l know you're into girls. - l think it's a really good idea.

- You just-- - Don't freak out.

Bash the shit out of that one fuck.

Watch out, MTV.

♪ l come from the islands and that's no excuse. ♪

Fuck off, year sevens.

You actually can't read at all at the age of 13?

Fuck you, motherfucker!

You do not own the amphitheater!

- Keiran! - You're not allowed here anymore.

You do that shit again, l'll send you back to Tonga.

What's up, man?

She ran out to the road. A car hit her.

l know how to plan a good formal.

l am not a lesbian, guys.

Get off him!