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Hey,

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You're wearing my clothes. I need some sweet nectar to attract a certain B.

Who? Your mother.

You have a date with mom. She has a date and I'm following her to make sure the loser keeps his

inmate in solitary confinement. Did you put on cologne to stock mom?

Doc and Nora. She her favorite. Listen, I got to get my porn back but I'm not going to be able to

get the floor closes. It's 10 bucks in a 40. 10 bucks. What do you think I have 8? We get 20.

[Music]

Who do you have the word? She's beautiful.

She was. She's out of my life now. She's older to buy Jen's ring.

What do you mean she said no? I thought you two were happy. I was. But I guess in all this time we've been

together I never managed to get her off. She broke up with you for that? I mean without even telling you

had a fix it? She said she did. I didn't listen. Well, I think girl who says that is either

lying or trying to find an easy way out. She's right. I suck in bed, dude. How could you possibly know that for sure? I asked.

Well, we went out for a couple of months, stop more year. I mean, I can barely remember what I had to

breakfast. Little when they're not out, I got off when we have sex. Yeah, it never happened.

Oh. How about a kapachino on the house? It's so funny you should ask about this well because just the

other day some of my girlfriends and I were counting our worst sexual experience and you just

having to come to mind. Oh, we're young and inexperienced. Am I right? I'm so sorry.

You were the best lay I ever had and I've been searching for that morning ever since we broke up.

There. Will that help you sleep better? You losers and your quarter-like panic attacks. If I had a

bonk for every time you've pushed these got lonely and asked how you were in bed and have my fat

sucked up. Instead of doing this crap five times a week. Thank the lot, prick. I'm sorry, Will. You do

need terrible lay. She was my neighbor when I was growing up. She had soft hands.

Oh. Look at this. This is not your fault. All right? Any of these women could have taken two

seconds out of their lives to tell you you were missing something but they didn't. This is their

failure. Not yours. I'm so the one who got dumped. So you have a few bad habits. A couple of

missed opportunities to make up for. I lost my virginity when I was 14. It's almost half my life.

Oh, okay. We need to get you back in the rehab right away. What are you talking about? We're going to

go out and find the easiest check out there and not back on this flush cell. And then tomorrow

you're going to do the same. And then this weekend you're going to do it again and you're going to

keep doing it until you've banged enough skates to hone your crap. I don't want to have sex with

a bunch of women. I just want Jen.

They know you do. But she doesn't want you unless you fixed your problem.

So what you're going to do is you're going to go out and then go back to her with what you've learned.

Show her what you're making. You really think if I've become a better lover, she'll take me back.

Not if you use the word lover.

They're going to work. All right.

And 30 operation, tail range begins.

On and on.

Can I actually borrow that 20 to buy the guns?

It's going to be a good thing. Hold on one second please.

Yeah, our clumps actually are capacity right now. I'm going to wait for about five minutes.

Ain't this the party supply stop?

Yes, but we're a capacity right now. So I'm going to do a couple minutes because we

adhere to a very strong car. I gotta get a pinata from my daughter's birthday.

You better get the stuff and what to shit.

Yeah, I understand. Just give me two bad room.

I'm going to take you stick you in a fucking car. They're you up and candy.

And then my kids go to town and beat the shit at them.

Then. Then. Oh, okay. That's what I've done.

Thank you, sir. I love my job.

Look at all the party people.

Lacey out. What's the half's after work? My man, a little booze and bitches and my ride.

Huh? I think I'm going to drop off some DVDs and head home.

Are you sure? Because Pete this I got a VIP passes to that new strip club.

The throbbing unicorn. Huh?

Someone just left these on my windshield. I just found them there.

Huh? Keep me that shit.

I'm good. Thanks anyway. All right. Well, that dances for me. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Get in here. Look at that. I asked right hold up stop. Are you

Perm the nap? Maybe lose a little bit of the weight around the hips. All right. Maybe get on the lap band,

show a little more cleavage and you're in next time. Okay.

But we're twins. Yeah, right. And this guy's black.

She's not wearing a bra. You are. Is this a really double mid commercial or something?

Sorry about that.

Please, can I please come in? We're closing. I know, I know, but I would be so super quick.

Like Lincoln, you missed me. The flash with boobs.

You know who the flash is? Super speed. Little wingy thing is on his mask.

His real name is Barry Allen. My brother was a comic book geek, so I kind of got geek

education by a smosis. I might be one of those comic book geeks.

You? Yeah. No. Two cute.

In and out. Stuff like

Excuse me. Do you guys carry pin at us? Do I look like I work here?

Oh, I'm just kidding. I'm made sure D. I'm just acting cups.

Let me go get a server and just, you know.

[Music]

Hello there. Can I help you with anything? No, good. Thanks. Sure. Yeah. My name is Ryan.

Man, I'm sure. Okay. I'll be around. All right. Cool. Thank you.

Yeah. Delicious. Love red hair.

Broper. I found you in one last pinata. Awesome. Thank you so much. Yeah. It's perfect. Cool.

I'm gonna let me know. I'm gonna be a handout if you need it. Okay, see you.

Well, thank you for shopping at Behind the Velvet rope. We stayed up at after hours for you.

I just want to let you know what next week we're having a happy hour. Two for one.

So you should come to that. Yeah. Okay. All right.

Tasty. He's smelling like wet dog ass.

I work over at the Red Talten. So is that the free food dog Ken O'Lunkoner?

You know, we prefer canine spawn meditation retreat.

Ooh. What? It's cute. I can't talk if you like, but I know about 30 dogs with

prettier nails than either of you. I'm a cat person.

She's angry a lot. So a lot of stuff for dog party. Yeah. Well, one of my

borders had puppies last month, so she's wearing a little birthday bash. Boom. Yeah.

Do you want to come? I don't have a dog. Is that okay?

That is okay because then you're going to adopt one of the puppies. Come on.

Thanks for bringing the boxes. You're welcome. Wait. Your entire crew.

Have fun with the party. Thank you.

Do you need cups? What does everybody drink out of the same punch bowl?

You know what? Just for that, you're coming to my party. Am I now? Yes, you are.

I'm Will. Come and book it. Emma, the flash with boobs.

Yeah. What's your address? 1768 Glendon. All right. It's Saturday, noon to three and I'll

drop and invite in the next couple days. Okay. Okay. Goodbye.

I'm not going to adopt a dog. That's what they all say.

[Music]

Goodnight, Mr. Roka. And take it easy on yourself this time. It's delicate flesh down there.

Oh, hello, young stranger. I see you returning your adult features.

No, these are mine. Oh, I am here. Why don't we grab a few more for your whole being entertainment?

No, no, I don't actually need anymore. It's just fine.

Look at what I found on our doorstep. Did he come by to get some pouring pop?

He sure did, Billy. Why don't you and Marty take this horny buster brown into our video vault

where he can browse our many fine selections. Your home is a movie shop.

Oh, just the one room and it's adult DVDs and videos only.

But next week we'll be launching our live web streaming. Why, Graham? Are you sure this one doesn't

need a legal guardian to watch our movies? I might need to check some ID.

Come on, we have tons of needle smut. Come on, Marty. Take them downstairs.

[Music]

We just got this one and you like her method dates, right?

Oh, aren't you guys a little young to be in here? Gosh, Mr.

We're not a couple of how to do these.

Porn is used to keep shiffles perverts off the streets.

Mom and Pop saved more people watch porn. They were just the last homer because couples

wouldn't get bored and go looking outside at home for several gratification.

This one's right back in there.

Should I all run? Give us a minute?

Oh, shucks. I didn't get to show you anything from the barely legal section.

Now listen to your mother. Run along.

Aren't they angels? Why I think they could run our little business better than us?

Yeah, look, I'm sure you have a great selection here, but I just kind of want to return those and

nothing else I need for Miss.

[Music]

What is this? Well, that is a very special film young man, the contents of which

defy the logic of everything you know about lovemaking. If you watch that film,

your life will change forever. What do you mean?

That video has great power inside. Within its magnetic tape lies,

the magic that gives its viewer the power to become one of the world's greatest sexual beings.

Your endurance will never fail. Your stamina will never cease.

Your knowledge of the opposite sex will become infinite and exact.

And every woman you lie with will always be satisfied.

Many, many times over. As if you were the star of your very own, never ending on a graphic film.

I did it. It's a joke, right? Nathan called you guys and I was on my way over.

Young man, we know nothing about you or your friend. We never tell anyone who comes here about that tape.

It knows who needs help. And whatever your intimacy issues are, they will become a thing of the past.

I don't have intimacy issues.

There are three rules to obey otherwise the power of the film gives you will be lost.

One, follow the order of the women you see on the tape. You must have sex with each,

but do not skip one to move on to the next. Two, if you fail to sleep with all the women on the tape,

you will lose your gained skill and knowledge. Three, the tape must be returned exactly 30 days from

tonight. You must finish your journey by that time or all of your experiences become nothing but

memories for you and you alone. Well, now that that's a super serious ballet who is out of the way,

who wants an A cream? I do.

Someone sure loves that cream. Don't tease the boy. He's going to need all the energy he can get.

So, see you in a month. See you in a month.

[Music]

Hey, player. Can you help brother out? I'm looking for this club called the Propping Unicorn.

You know, somebody left these three passes on my windshield. I mean, it does that shit, right?

Anywho to make a long story short, am I even in the right motherfucking neighborhood?

Yeah, actually take a left, go to the light, take a ride, and then it'll be on your left hand side.

So, lead. Thank you, well. I'd ask you to come along with me tonight, but um,

you got some important business to attend to. So, you hurry on home and you watch that video.

That shit's gone. Change your life, son.

[Laughter]

Peace.

[Laughter]

Weird.

Wait, how does that strange guy know my name?

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Wait, what's that mean? Oh, shit. Oh, yes.

[Music]

Oh, oh, yes, yes, yes. Wow.

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All right, home.

And then what happened to you last night? Did you get my messages? Oh, my God.

What did you try to fuck a light socket?

No, there was, I doesn't know it's that much effort to try to lie about your kinky fetishes.

I just don't care.

Good dressed. Operation Tang Bang started with that, you buddy.

We got to make up for the last time. We're working out.

Sheep school for your wolf-like interior. What?

It just trusts me. We're gonna flex a little pickies.

Then you let them forward. Reach from your stiff bones to your back.

You'll extend up to the count of your pet. As you hold your belly in,

soften to your shoulder blades and reach your heels back.

How do I know?

Dude, I can't believe you made me pay 20 bucks just a fucking breath.

Are you kidding? Will you look around? This is exactly the type of good you should be nailing.

Flex a good.

Press one heel down at a time and open up into Vashi Stasana.

And turning the left palm forward, slide the left shoulder down the back.

God, no!

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I know you.

You do.

So, are you okay?

Can you finish?

Yeah, totally.

Are you okay?

Fine, just fine.

Let's do the second side.

Move into plank pose.

Please, Vashi Stasana second.

Dude, you touched me.

That's amazing.

Left hand, left foot, stacking your hips, right on top.

I love you.

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

The Masty.

Clap.

Dude, there's no way you're hitting that.

I mean, every guy in here is asked her out.

She's like Air Force One with their own F-16.

There's no penetrating that air space.

Ooh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come here.

Hey, I'm Will.

Well, falling guy, I just wanted to thank you for not kicking me out earlier.

I'm Re.

I thought you did great this being your first class.

You noticed that, huh?

I don't take my students well.

No, that's not what I'm trying to do.

Then, what are you trying to do?

Um...

This.

Is that supposed to turn me on?

Yes.

Go slower, Will.

Or gentle.

I'm not going anywhere.

Yeah, cool.

Wait, like, we're really going to do this.

You want to sex with me?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I don't want to call you tight pants girl the rest of the day.

Wait, what was your name?

It's Betsy.

Betsy, Betsy, fit.

Did you hear that, Betsy?

Oh, Betsy.

Don't bet, hey, I'm going to call you Betsy.

Okay, I'll find you.

He's wide.

Ah, ah, ah.

Whoa.

Easy on the hips.

Use your knees.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Yeah.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

No, no, no, no.

[CHEERING]

So nice meeting you.

Maybe I'll see you next class.

Sure.

Look, that may have been the most spectacularly amazing moment

I have to ask.

Why?

Why did you just have sex with me?

I have no idea.

But you know that move that I showed you

where you're using your knees more than your hips so you last

longer?

Keep working on that.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

No.

He's my ride.

No, must stay.

You must stay.

You're pinna treat your airspace.

Oh, my God, oh, my God.

Yeah, um.

How?

How?

Just one of those things.

No, one of those things is in a porno.

You say five words to a girl who won't go out with anybody

and you're plowing her.

You made a deal with the devil and I want an in on it.

See, then, I gotta tell you, I've never been that good.

This is the best sex of my life and it was all my doing.

Seriously, I finished and I was ready to go again right then and there.

I've been doing it 30 minutes.

I've never lasted that long.

This is one of the decision I had to read.

The legs are up in my head.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, let's do it.

Okay, okay, listen, listen to me.

Listen to me.

If you want to continue to talk about those stuff,

then you're going to need to tweet it because if you talk to me

about it right now, I'm going to be able to drive this car

without any hands.

I have a boner.

Mm, didn't need that.

It was fluke sex.

Once in a millennium, a guy finds a girl who was that sad

and desperate and today was that day and you were that guy

and she was that girl and that is how that happened.

It has probably right now.

Hey, you might want to sanitize this.

Oh, come on.

Come on.

[music]

There he is.

My yucky hammer.

Hey, what, I was supposed to keep most of my

mental sexual experience of your life in secret.

Yeah.

You hungry?

I could make you one of my classic chocologies.

I'm okay.

Wait, you're staying here tonight?

What'd you do to slash mom's tires so you can't drive anywhere?

Did I think I'll call you?

Dad.

She needed no times anyway.

Bob, stop the mail there.

Invitation to something.

Nice.

Hey, that was work.

The usual.

You ever thought that maybe it's time for a career upgrade?

How so?

My boss at the comic book company, he's looking for new ideas and wants me to pitch.

Now we both know that you're an English major with a completely useless degree in creative writing,

but you do have good taste in comics.

So here's the idea.

New hatches story.

I'll do the art and dress it up a little bit.

We'll go in, get a little razzle, basil on, and boom.

Soon kids have our ship on their wall.

Oh, no.

Selling parties of blood.

Got it.

Got it.

Selling parties of blood.

Is it already comics?

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, I know.

But don't rehash that Sergeant's other idea.

That story puts the sucks and boy, this shitty story sucks.

The second Slyther has truth-serve that shoots from his veins.

But let's have learn this and we see the powers.

[MUSIC]

[SOUND]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

Here for the party.

Hey, yeah, I'm invited.

But you don't have a dog.

Right.

That's not why I'm here.

Right.

We'll have a good time.

Watch your step.

[MUSIC]

Small like pool.

[MUSIC]

Hi there.

I'm Meredith.

Emma told me you might want to take one of my babies to a happy home.

Hi, I'm Will.

Sorry, I got my mouth stuffed as yours.

Really good.

Oh, they should be.

They're dog treats.

Here's your new dog.

[MUSIC]

There's a lot of shiny coat.

Oh, it's right down the hall.

It was nice to meet you.

[MUSIC]

[SOUND]

Hey, Will.

You're a dog longer too, huh?

[LAUGH]

Ah, you smell that Will.

That's right, son.

New cars smell.

That little procedure that I'm cold and got 10 years back in Beverly Hills.

They can give you anything.

You can imagine.

Yeah, think about the money I save on air freshen, huh?

[LAUGH]

Hey, Will, you know that, go Meredith?

You're going to have to fuck her.

She's next on the tape.

Remember, this is off a gen.

Neither name the last eye to be letting me know Will.

[LAUGH]

[SOUND]

Hi, I got distracted and he ate some goodies off my plate and it didn't go well with his stomach and then me.

I'm just, I'm just not like my fault.

I don't know if it's any puke.

It's a general.

My is.

Right.

Well, the bathroom is yours, don't you?

It's real.

[MUSIC]

I think he's really lucky to have you.

Oh, how so?

You've been pretty.

Oh, that is so fucking cute.

[MUSIC]

He tastes like dog biscuits.

Sorry.

Wait, do you know what dog biscuits taste like?

[MUSIC]

I'm going to pick her up.

[MUSIC]

Meredith, is that you?

Yeah.

[MUSIC]

You okay?

Never better.

[MUSIC]

Okay, I'll just see the head panel.

I'm coming.

Coming.

So.

[MUSIC]

She's okay.

[MUSIC]

I just love this.

I love this, but it's been so, so much.

You got a couple, you got it.

Later.

[MUSIC]

That's lovely.

Lovely.

Lovely.

That's great.

Oh.

Honey, did you not notice that I crossed the finish line and that saved more than

the last one?

Right, no, I'm happy about that.

I just, I have to get really good at this sex thing really fast.

Is that's good?

Long story with a not happy ending for right now?

Hmm.

Wow.

Whoever she is, she's one lucky little girl.

But can I get used for the last?

Please.

Okay.

Let the woman leave the race.

She'll let you know when it's kind of sprint.

See, I've been divorced for two years and I will start and I think there was a lot

prohibiting 35 year olds having sex, right?

No.

You kidding me?

You can have your love, you can do with you.

You are such a little fucking nymph.

I'm gonna box you up, but I am not giving you a discount on my dogs.

She'll want.

She'll probably go out there and it's been talking about you all day.

What?

I want to tell if you don't.

Would your baby get sick and eat all day?

Hmm.

Why do you smell like new carbs?

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Everyone eat.

I'm so sorry.

I'm gonna go.

Fogo got into one of the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the.

I'm gonna go.

I really want to hang out.

I want you to hang out with me too.

Well, here he is.

Will you ready for you?

Just lightly discussed.

You are adopting one of the puppies of it is so great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, he's already passed my, uh, door row background check.

So I just needed to deposit a $300 and then he's all yours to take on.

But it's so great.

I'm so,

[MUSIC]

[SOUND]

[SOUND]

Don't you have to, uh, go.

Go.

Your ranks are waiting for you outside.

You should call me like for the dog or anything really.

I mean, just call me.

Great.

Okay.

Okay.

Coles.

Right.

Did you see the way she was looking at you?

She undressed you with her stare.

[SOUND]

But then again, you do have a wait with women, don't you?

[SOUND]

You're gonna have a buck for this ball of her?

Yeah, I'll need to check and then you can pay for the rest of the next 10

business days.

So nice to meet you.

[SOUND]

Can you shoot into it?

I hope so.

Jesus.

[MUSIC]

Hey dad.

You mean a new room?

Sorry, I'm listening to your mom talk on her cell phone.

Did you realize she waxes down there now?

Okay dad.

How can you listen to mom's conversations?

It's just a basic goal to trans better.

I followed her to lunch and when she got up to go to the bathroom, I walked over her table.

Dropped it at her purse.

Now, over the bag goes, the buck goes, and I hear everything.

Wait, she's getting another call.

I, the reception is better to the closer I am.

So I'm gonna tell her car.

Is this getting that hand?

No, I made the left.

He's almost way home.

He bought a pizza.

It should be here in a second.

You have cash to pay for, right?

[LAUGH]

I was just thinking our apartment could use a good guard dog.

Okay dad, this is not your apartment.

Okay, bye.

Just you and me.

Did you see what Santa Paul is, Brucken?

All right.

Maybe you're here.

Get Slim Juice.

One for you, one for me.

I got you some alltoids 'cause you got stank breath.

And I got me a Snickers bar 'cause I need some strength.

Hey, Tony and she's pizza, your total's 15, 20 times.

Yeah, can you hold on for a couple minutes?

I got a word of this isn't here.

'Tis pizza, I don't want to pay for it.

Listen dude, I've got six pike in the car that needs to be delivered in a half an hour.

And if they don't get there in time, then it's my ass.

And if it's my ass, then it's your ass.

Your ass.

Oh boy.

[LAUGH]

Do you know what my favorite Tonya needs is?

Shut the dark.

Sausage.

Oh, shut your filthy face and let's get to the center of my tootsie power.

[MUSIC]

Big boy.

[MUSIC]

Uh-oh.

[MUSIC]

Hey, hey, get out there.

You could be here to keep the standing turret, burglar.

[MUSIC]

What?

You're being the sausage, I speak to girl.

Actually, she bang me, and you should take me.

It's over 15 bucks.

What the?

You were going to tell me what's going on here.

Explain to yourself, you've got women throwing themselves at you.

Your dick has become some sort of currency, so it begs the question, what the fuck man?

All the tape.

What tape?

Let me see her.

Was it some sort of self-help thing that helps you hypnotize women that normally wouldn't

breed the air within 50 feet of you?

Thanks.

No, it actually has magical powers and makes me like a sex god.

Literally washed it, a bunch of women's faces flashed across the screen, and now I'm sleeping with a new woman practically.

Every time I leave the house.

Oh shit.

Who was he even free pizza?

All right, fun.

You have heard of the DVD player, yeah?

Yeah, I'm saving up for one of those Gervier track cassette players I keep talking about.

She's a little chunky.

Wade's like 60 pounds.

You're avoiding the subject and you're holding up a lot.

Yeah, yeah, these women are smoking.

They were there.

They were there.

They were there.

Yeah, it makes me feel better to know that you're just still lucky to smell a lot.

Yeah, that didn't do it right last.

Nathan, I swear, this tape and the women that are on it, I'm supposed to sleep with them all.

So that I can get back to Jen because I'll be a better lover.

Frank, you give me late and I'll believe you.

How?

Where's this magic of yours?

Okay, you're not listening.

Show me the magic.

You're not listening.

I told you I can't have sex with any woman I touch.

How do you know?

Have you even touched a girl that's not on this magical videotape that only you can see?

No, but no, no, you haven't.

You're going to go out there and you're going to shake hands if anything which moves, so we're going to have an origin.

I'm saying I'll believe you.

We're not having an origin.

We're having an origin.

Go.

I can't get away.

I can't get away.

I can't get away.

Sorry.

I'm going to do something else.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

What's your name?

Brianna.

Hi, Brianna.

Hi.

Wanna have an orgy?

Yes.

I thought you'd never ask.

Okay.

Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You're in the wrong order on the tape.

What?

Oh, you're still out of order.

God, that's nice.

Order.

There is no order when you orgy.

You just orgy.

Yes, of course.

You should meet me in the bathroom.

Uh-huh.

Last stolen the left and I'll be right in and I'll give you a nice orgy.

You promise?

Yes, I'll.

Okay.

Go.

Bye.

Puck.

Boom, bitch.

Make it.

Make it.

Make it.

Make it.

Oh, there he is.

Hey, where's my hair on?

There's no time for small doctors.

I'll be in the bathroom last on the left.

Don't feel the lights and don't open your mouth until you're done.

The tape works.

[MUSIC]

This is a take over.

The take over.

I'm chasing her.

Not hostile but so will be one.

This is a master piece.

Our passions piece.

Our finish.

And then I'll be done.

This is a take over.

I'll taste I learned to like when my numbers were low.

This is a master piece of vast release.

I'd stay what you want me to go.

Wait, who's this?

I'm jumping my jaw with a nerve.

It aches like she's reaching inside me.

And melting my heart.

It's hopeless.

So now it's a take over my safe and sure.

The place by a fear that you run.

She is a master piece.

Our perfect piece.

Our perfect piece.

She knows no one.

Look him.

Look at the changing trick.

Who's that?

No!

You're getting a pig bearing to look.

Get.

[MUSIC]

No!

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

Hell no.

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

Yeah, that's it.

I'm on the beam.

I'm not going to water it.

Oh yeah, no, that's it.

Oh yeah, yeah, make that today.

Be a crumble.

I've been my lady.

Here we go.

Don't you ever talk to me?

Tell your don.

Yeah, you can't break my bum in there.

[MUSIC]

Yeah, I'll save and show.

Replace by a fear that you run.

He is a master piece.

I'll perfect peace.

I hope that she knows I'm no one.

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

Here you go.

[MUSIC]

Hi.

Good afternoon, checking in.

Yeah.

Actually, we have an appointment with Emma.

Yes, Mr. Hembury.

You're a party a few weeks ago.

Yes.

This is the pub that you adopted.

Yes.

Do you mind if I hold them?

I should have a drink.

I'm confused.

Oh, you're just a little lover.

Are you?

Yes, you are.

What's his name?

Doesn't have one yet.

Got a couple ideas.

[MUSIC]

That's pretty much it.

Hey, Will.

Hey.

Are you ready?

Yeah, let's do it.

I mean, ready for the appointment.

Not doing it.

That's not what I mean.

Whatever you're doing, if it is, it might not sex.

It's definitely not sex.

We're ready to be girl.

Yeah, well, let's go.

[LAUGH]

I see you later.

You and you little dog.

So how are you?

Great.

You?

Great.

Good.

Sorry.

For what?

I want to kiss you.

Okay, so then do it.

No, I can't do that because then that will lead to the things

since they can't do yet.

Meaning it's too soon?

Not exactly.

I have issues.

I'm going to go grim flash now.

Flash.

It fits.

Oh, the flash.

Oh, the flash.

Oh, my gosh.

[MUSIC]

I've got a couple hours free, so do I want to get some food?

No.

I can just leave flash here.

I'm, but you know, someplace like really public, you know,

low lit, quarble, so this is served.

Yeah.

[SOUND]

Yeah.

[MUSIC]

You let your hair shine like a piffy's movie star.

Still chew on it, kind of like a little girl.

You take your time when the top's down in your car.

But still hit in your gas when you want to see the world.

Your everything, your everything, your girls should ever be.

Your everything, everything to me.

Your everything, your everything, your everything in the sense and

your everything, your everything to me.

You like to stay home with a little boy Chinese and then drag me out.

Suddenly you got a day.

You're happy when you're feeling safe and so happy, but you die

not a plane if you ever got a chance.

Holy moly, look who it is kids.

Oh, call me old fashioned and I think you're a little old to be playing with

teddy bears, young man.

Well, Mr. that's my study bear.

Glad I have it.

Oh, you can't.

He's just a shame because he likes it.

[LAUGH]

How do you know that?

Oh, well, we've been spying on you for days now.

It's something we like to do together as a family to make sure you're following

all the rules of the tape.

And boy, have you that penis of yours probably feels like it's ready to drop

off if I write kids?

He's a slut, man.

Sure is, Marty.

Which brings us to Emma.

What a spectacular piece of you know what she is.

She gives me what dreams.

[LAUGH]

Oh, we just look at the time.

Well, we'd love to stick around well, but we have plenty of shop you can do before we go home to

cash the lower and 12-show.

Come on, kids.

Keep up the fine boning.

[MUSIC]

Thank you for waiting.

Small letter.

So I was thinking since we're already here and I kind of need a pair of jeans.

So anymore, yes, I will be the dressing room boyfriend.

Oh, sorry about that.

No, it's just that it's only our first date.

It's a date.

Well, you did pay for the amazingly decadent mall food, so.

Ah, I can do better than mall food.

Well, I'm pretty sure that you'll have a chance to prove that.

[MUSIC]

Hey, oh, you said one pair of jeans.

You know, it would be to scolite your responsible for me to ignore these incredible deals.

Oh, okay.

It would.

I'll be right back.

Yeah, right.

I'll be the decaying skeleton in the leather jacket.

Okay, have fun.

[MUSIC]

Yes.

[MUSIC]

Can I help you find a size?

Yeah, looking for a 31.

Okay.

[MUSIC]

Why don't you try these on and while you're in the dressing room, I'll find that size for you.

Great.

About Michelle.

Can you set them up with a room?

Absolutely, right this way, sir.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

[MUSIC]

Oh, shit.

[MUSIC]

Give me a shout if you need anything.

We'll do.

[MUSIC]

What are you doing?

I was, I just, I get him first.

You stand guard.

How's everything going in there?

I don't know.

I don't need anything.

You can just do it.

Let me just help you here.

Okay, you're there.

Oh, seriously.

I can't do this right now, can you?

Can I come back with you, please?

No, don't do it.

Jesus.

These are full.

Try the rins on the other section.

[MUSIC]

Well.

[MUSIC]

Yes, sir.

[MUSIC]

Excuse me, did you see a guy with a teddy bear going in there?

No.

No, guys here.

None.

All of this fun.

That is maintenance.

Human, baby.

Human.

She's, there's a rat running.

Oh, rampant through this room.

Yeah, she's aggressive.

It's huge.

Okay.

Okay, just, yeah.

Thanks.

Have a nice day.

Don't forget to fill out a comment card.

[MUSIC]

Well, crazy hack guy.

What the hell are you doing here?

The fuck you think I'm doing?

Well, I'm buying jeans.

Anybody, what?

Um, these think me look less black?

I can't talk to you right now.

All right, play a fine.

You go be with Emma.

Do you remember who the fuck you're doing all this all for?

Okay, look, I don't want to do any more.

And I know what the rules of the table are.

You never keep popping up all over the place and telling me.

Oh, geez, I'm going to use a little bit to you today.

Oh, well, one more thing.

Thank you.

[LAUGH]

[LAUGH]

I have to be hung in the dumb and full of calm.

Yeah, I've got to work.

I play.

Yeah.

Hey, hello.

Where are you?

I was looking everywhere for you.

I was, um, you know, people in the malls who have you

do the surveys for 20 bucks?

Yeah.

I was doing one of those.

What about?

How I feel about malls surveys.

Hmm, how do you feel about malls surveys?

I do not like that.

Really?

Didn't like that answer, so they didn't give me 20 bucks.

Do you want to take our teddy bear and go do the go cars?

Oh, sorry.

Oh, hi.

Jen.

Emma.

Emma, Jen, Jen, Emma.

Hi, nice to meet you.

What's up with the teddy bear?

You were never in just stuffed animals.

So how do you do know each other?

I was whose girlfriend.

Oh, yeah.

Well, thank you for letting you go.

I think he's a keeper.

So how's Steve?

Um, I'm not with Steve.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know.

We should probably.

It was good seeing you.

OK?

Take care of yourself.

Um, how awesome are you?

Oh, my God.

You were so loud and addressing you when you were having sex

with that guy.

If I were the manager, you would so be fired.

Wait.

Why did we have sex with that guy again?

I don't know.

And what's up with that teddy bear?

It was kind of kinky.

It was like a three-seven.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Would you like to try and appear of our new rich and skinny corner voice?

Mmm.

Absef friggin' lately.

Right.

It's OK.

All right.

There you go.

Thank you.

I mean, if you need an other size or anything.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Dude, man, you are fucking stallion up.

I've been black stallion.

Fuck the shit out of her.

Unbelievable.

Just rail that chicken.

Oh, my God.

What the--

I will be there.

No, I mean.

What the fuck?

Will you put it away?

Put away--

Oh, my God.

What the hell are you doing here?

I want that video.

In exchange, I won't tell your boss or your wife what you've been doing.

Um, it's OK if I make you a copy.

Yeah.

Can I finish?

Ugh.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I had a really great time.

Me too.

And now we have this awesome first date story to tell our kids,

don't we?

And a really cool name for our dog.

But you're a dog.

Of course.

I can't go home with you.

I know.

I mean, I want to.

I want you to.

I can't.

I mean, because, you know, it has to feel right.

It will be.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not usually like this.

Something bigger is that play here.

Like what?

They get media.

Right.

Fate.

Fate.

So when do I see you again?

Um, it's our night.

Is that the previously alluded to second date?

Yeah, something like that.

There's somewhere I have to be.

And I'd like for you to join me.

OK.

OK.

Bye.

Bye.

I can't believe I'm waiting to have sex with you.

Neither.

Bye.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Bye.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm reading.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Damnit.

Chill out, Tito.

Whose hair is on fire?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

What?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Where is he?

That's what Elle means.

Come in.

Can I fix you a warm glass to have to have the fuck out?

I think they're like, "Well, OK.

So not only do you have a new girlfriend, a laser,

and cheating on her already, what are you talking about?

I overheard those sluts them all, the one that you were sleeping with.

OK, look, it's not what you think.

Really?

Because I think that you become a whore.

A whore.

What?

What do you hook up with me?

So why do you care who I sleep with?

And why do I give a fuck whatever the hell you think?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I just--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I--

I want you to teach me everything.

I'm crazy.

I think you have a little bit of a--

[LAUGHTER]

I don't--

Well, I'm really--

There's no--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Please, Jim.

How's your work?

I've seen boobies before.

Oh, come on.

I--

I look like you want.

You're not even sure it's win.

Yeah, it's OK.

You know--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

I'll be there.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm just here.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, Jesus!

Jesus!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

That was the most unbelievable sex.

Sex of all time.

You know, the first time was angry that you slept with those

moles sluts.

And I like it because I said that if you got better at sex,

I give us another chance and you did.

And I mean, my god, how many girls

did you sleep with in order to get so good so fast?

You know, I don't answer that.

I don't really want it now.

What matters is that you did this for me.

So I forgive you for doing whatever it is

that you needed to do in order to win me back.

No, can you forgive me for cheating on you and for--

I'm dumb enough to ever think that you couldn't be the love

that I now know.

It's just always inside of you.

OK.

There was a time I was doing this for you.

I'm proving myself to be the lover you felt

I needed to be.

It's not what I want anymore.

Ooh, what do you want?

I want you to leave.

Will, I thought you loved me.

Me too.

But I don't.

I'll need more.

Oh, what does this is?

Revenge sex?

Hurt me the way I hurt you?

No, Jen.

OK.

You know what?

You're fucking asshole.

I-- you haven't even begun to feel my heat.

You think you're in love with this Emma?

All right, well, let's see how she feels when she finds out

about your little extra curricular activities.

I'm just going to put a coat of primer before the--

You're a fucking pervert.

She sounds like a wookie when she organisms.

Yeah, she does.

Oh.

I thought you wanted Jen back.

I fell in love with someone else.

And you're subject to Jen because I had two.

Because you had two.

Yeah, I don't understand that.

But did I ever think you were for the Rihanna thing?

I'll do about 100 times.

Thank you.

Number one.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Good morning.

Welcome to the Ritz-Halden.

Checking your guests, dude.

No, actually, I have package for Emma.

And it's really, really important that she has a brand name.

She's not in today, but I'll see you too.

It gets a first thing tomorrow.

My pleasure, ma'am.

My pleasure.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hi.

Hey.

Wow.

You look beautiful.

Well, you know, it's hard to screw up this kind of perfection.

It is.

Okay, then.

You haven't told me where we're going tonight.

I'm taking you somewhere that will shed some light onto why

I'm unnaturally feending to rip your clothes off.

OK.

Let's go.

All right.

There's wonderful as masturbation.

It's the chafing.

I don't know how to--

I don't know how to--

Hey.

Open them up.

Come here, Emma.

Hello.

Hey, Emma.

You got it.

So I was recently tempted over the weekend.

You see, there was this nice young lady.

And I met her at the club.

And she was such a little whore.

She wanted me to rip her clothes off right there

on the dance floor and put her up against the wall.

But-- but I did not do that.

Like a good boy.

I went into the men's room, walked into a stall,

locked it, dropped my fucking pants,

and I jaxin' polypped that shit everywhere,

releasing three weeks' attention in one night.

Sadly, I am.

I ruined my really good going out shirt with my own jithm.

Thank you for that, you share.

[APPLAUSE]

Thank you, Sunny, for that needlessly graphic testimony.

Who'd like to speak next?

I would.

Hi, I'm Emma.

Hi, Emma.

Hi, I'm Emma.

Hi, I'm Emma.

Hi, I'm Emma.

And I'm a sex addict.

Actually, this week marks my one-year anniversary

of Staining from Sex.

[APPLAUSE]

Thank you.

It was crazy hard, though.

Not giving in.

There were some times where I thought

I'd jump the first guys that could morning to me.

But I didn't.

It made me stronger.

It made me understand how important it was to wait

for the right guy to come along.

And how special it will be when I finally

do share myself with him.

I think I found him.

I just hope now that I've shared my darkest secret with him.

He doesn't run away.

Thank you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm completely frecked to you right now.

Just a light to my outbreak.

Seriously, I can take it.

I need you to know that part of my life.

I made problems myself.

But the next person I was with would be the last.

It does part thing.

It's just my addiction or something else.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I'm going to try to get you to the end of the day.

I can't play full to let some of the or towels get away.

I wasn't always this good.

It's a lot of scale and a whole lot of...

Sorry.

No one will worry about it.

You do not want to know how many people I've been with.

You said people.

Like women too.

Really.

Well, now those experiences you can feel free to share.

There's much details possible.

I have to go to work.

I'll see you later.

I'll get off at night.

Drop off a movie and I'll come over.

Can we?

Hey, Dave.

Morning, um.

Hey, somebody left this for you yesterday.

Oh, who was it?

She didn't say who she was.

Thank you.

[MUSIC]

[SOUND]

Hey.

I thought I was coming to see you.

What's this?

Is there a balance video from the mall?

I think I can explain this.

No, you know what?

We only kissed at that point.

So I can't really pull any sort of territorial thing here.

But look, I just came here to find out one thing.

When you had sex with Jen, was that because you still had

feelings for her or was that something different?

It's way more complicated than that.

I wanted to get better so I could get her back.

Because I thought I loved her and I was the tape with these

rules and I had to sleep with these women in a certain order.

It made me better.

And then I met you and you were on the tape, but I, I fell in love with you.

I told Jen I didn't love her because I love you.

I'm not supposed to be who they were now, and I never will be.

That old till death was part big.

It'll be the eyes and tell me you won't love me.

This sound is my sex addicts and not a mess of a boxer.

You have a problem well.

You need to deal with it.

No, I'm not sure.

No, I'm not sure.

No.

No, I'm not sure.

It's fine.

No, it's fine.

It's just I did this for us.

Excuse me.

I'm on, please.

[MUSIC]

Sorry, man.

That was really hurt.

I want to go get a time massage.

All right.

Happy ending time for me.

[MUSIC]

Look who it is.

I trust you've had a very active month in Squire.

I just need to give this back.

Oh, oh my.

Wait, wait, just one second.

[MUSIC]

Oh, god damn will.

It's been 30 days already, huh?

Look, I don't know what you're doing here, slimy dude, but.

Okay, huh?

I know what you're doing.

But I'm not coming in.

I just want to turn this to the table.

This man, a will, was there a problem?

Do you sleep with all the women on the tape?

Look, I don't really want to talk about it with you.

You just take the goddamn tape back.

Well, did it ever occur to you that one of the women you slept with could end up being

the one you're meant to be with with the rest of your life?

Yeah, okay.

That fucking occurred to me.

It isn't going to happen.

Because you found out that you've been bone in other women?

Yeah, it's funny how that little detail doesn't sit so well with the woman you love.

Will, remember the rules of the fucking tape.

In order to retain your sexual prowess, you have to sleep with all the women on the tape.

In the order that you saw him, and you have to return the goddamn tape in 30 days.

Yeah, the days of 30th day.

And wouldn't it be fucked up if that tape doesn't get returned until tomorrow?

Not only will you lose everything you gain, but all the women you've met?

Yeah, never remember they even met you.

Well, you really want to be with this woman, don't you?

I think both you and I know the truth.

Let me tell you something, son. It's going to take a whole lot of work.

Why, hello, young man.

You want to come in and chill my wife everything you learned in the past month?

Oh, okay.

Don, it's not on the table.

God damn it.

Will you please put that fucking thing away and go get the ball gag in the kids toy box like I asked?

This one.

I'll be so bossy.

See you soon, well.

What a tool.

Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow.

Thank you.

Why is sex dude?

I'm the best.

[laughs]

Take it easy, Will.

[music]

So it was really going to forget me.

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[laughs]

[music]

Morning.

Got to fix you soon.

[music]

The bachelor.

Yes, the bachelor.

[laughs]

Okay, I'll come to the rich house in.

Oh, it's your name little guy.

Flash.

His name's Flash.

That's a great name.

What can we do for Flash today?

Word.

What can you call him?

Sir, if you come with me, we can begin the interview process for Flash.

See if he's compatible with the other guests here at the Ritz.

Sorry, I just remember I need to be somewhere.

I'll come back later to interview.

Okay.

I flash.

What shit?

She really doesn't know me.

Can you believe he put my video on YouTube?

I mean, you know a billion people are going to see it, and it's not like I can send it in for my bachelor audition.

Hi, can we help you?

I guess not.

That's a serial killer much.

Hey, sir, to bother you, I think I already know the answer to this, but do you remember me?

The fact of fuck off, Ray, just need to know if you're--

Look just because of the yoga teacher doesn't mean I can't.

Keep your fucking ass!

Okay.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Take a shot on this bitch's partner.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

And I'm stuck looking like a lover around TV.

Don't want to watch you break by.

Don't want to watch you break by.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Again.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Thank you for having me.

Hey, man, where you been?

I've been holding up in there for a week.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Dude.

You smell like shit.

Maybe that's me.

Why wasn't that dog there?

Dude, this doesn't suck.

You're here to buy something.

Good trick.

You don't need-- no, we don't need to go through all the details.

We're here because you already like it.

But here because this--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Show 'em the cover.

You're gonna love this.

You're gonna love this.

You're definitely here because of this.

Bam!

Wow.

So cut out.

And a single breath.

It's amazing.

All right, amazing.

All right.

Super dad.

This guy came up with a story I'm doing at Inking.

What is a super dad dad?

Two of the flowers.

Shoot.

It's just a baby.

This is the last hour of the last day.

Before the first day on the rest of your life.

Pick yourself up now.

Hi, pal.

Hi, pal.

How did you guys come up with the idea about super dad?

Oh, well, we'll had a general story idea about a man's

let with superpowers who knocked up a bunch of his one-night

stands.

So that got us thinking, what if all that humping around came

back to haunt him in some way?

So then we thought, OK, here's the plot.

Super dad's enemies kill all of his former lovers to get back

at super dad.

But what they don't know is that super dad has all these

illegitimate children running around who have inherited his

superpowers.

So now not only is he in charge of defending the entire world,

he's got to raise this gaggle of super powered babies.

And that's pretty much the springboard to the whole series.

Right, well?

Yeah, what he said he got it.

Well, all right, guys.

Thanks a lot.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Oh, oh, good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.

You know, you could act like you're actually enjoying this.

I'm sorry.

You're right.

No, we're at rather be.

Yeah.

What do I want to do?

OK.

Oh, I hate you.

OK.

Thank you guys, make it out to Ronnie.

Your favorite mirror mortal.

No, brother.

No, brother.

I got that up too.

There you go.

This one too.

It's the first book you ever ain't.

See?

I'm a fan.

And this just happened to be walking by where you guys

happened to be having dinner taken through the window,

but whoa.

So it works.

See you guys.

Just found this off.

I also got this out of the bathroom stall that you guys used

after lunch today.

OK, do I?

Let me just get your little signature on that.

You know what guys, keep up the good work.

I love you guys.

Take action.

Some people are just like super weird.

Oh, man.

Hey.

Hey, man, what you got?

Can you make it out to Landon?

Sure.

I know you.

You're the guy that came to the rich recently.

The dog with a really cute underbite.

Flash, right?

Yeah, that's right.

Good to see you.

You too.

This is my nephew.

He loves your comic.

Sweet.

Make sure you get a subscription then that way you don't miss an issue.

Oh, I will.

Great.

Thank you, man.

Thanks, guys.

Welcome.

You guys at check?

Very good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Awesome.

We'll see you guys next week.

Thank you.

All right.

Guys, that was awesome job, man.

This piece was stoked.

All right.

We're in for next week.

Do it again.

All right.

I'll see you guys later.

That was fun.

That was fun.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have one of those.

You did?

Yeah.

I used to have such a crush on Johnny Storm when I was the little girl.

My brother was a comic book geek, so I got the geek education.

Bye, I'm awesome.

Thanks again for signing my nephew's copy of your comic.

He's totally made his life.

No.

My pleasure.

Speaking of what you should probably find him.

I think he's OK.

You know, when my parents used to bring me here as a kid,

I couldn't wait for them to leave so I could do the same thing he's doing now.

I bet he's forgotten all about his aunt, Emma.

Meaning, I have time for my own leisurely pursuits.

One more someone climbed.

What are you suggesting?

I'd be coffee.

Two chairs.

Woody banter.

You and me.

It was a place right next door.

I'm sure a bill can keep an eye on nephew.

Oh, wow.

You're the big, sheck comic book writer.

You're paying.

Is that really a thing, shall I?

Yeah.

Well, then I can say I knew you were.

Just when it wasn't.

I'm a gorgeous, disturbing artist.

I don't know.

What are you always saying?

Lately, I've been wearing you like a faded old tattoo.

Forgetting all the joy I found.

Don't hold any words new.

But if I can't turn the clocks back,

Or help your heart ache made.

Let me love you.

Love you.

For the first time again,

We've had false times and chisel out and blurred the lines around and wrong

We've had wrong ways in turns and lights, and only ended up more like

Aahhh…

But maybe there's a better way when finally get hold of it

'Cause you're the only one I want to ever start a little with

Remember that the finish lines another word for the end

Let me love you, love you

For the first time again

For the first time again

I'm the doctor diagnosed my nut cancer as an operable

I decide to live each day to its fullest and really go out there and do all the things

that I put off

Like climbing Mount Everest and learning to play the slide guitar

And volunteering at the refugee camp in Darfur

Darfur, Darfur, but the most important thing I did is

I'd top this abuse puppy from the animal shelter

You were so sweet

How long did the doctor give you?

I was supposed to die a month ago

Oh yes, there's still fight left in this flood, he would show

Whew

Nathan, yeah

We gotta go

You have to leave now

I just have somewhere to be so

Unless someone else wants to give him a ride

We can do it

Really?

You in mind?

Right

Wait

Oh, one minute

Where'd you mind?

Yeah

It's a excellent wingman shit man

Excellent

Who knew that puppies were such great babe magnets?

We should get a bunch of them

Good luck, how's the deal?

Where you off to?

Okay, but I'm on

Why I can't de-esprow

Do you even know what that means?

No

But it sounds cool 'cause it's Mexican

Ladies, thank you

We just want to help you any way we can

Really?

Yeah

Never been enough three some

There are three of us and I may die soon

[coughing]

Doesn't sound like a note of me

Um

I'm gonna go flash

We could make it a four or some

That's some kinky shit now I can

Let's do this

[coughing]

[coughing]

[coughing]

[BLANK_AUDIO]