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1
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Hitchhiking is not a pleasure
for a short-sighted person
2
00:00:45,332 --> 00:00:48,749
who thinks auntie is a Rolls-Royce
3
00:00:50,166 --> 00:00:53,624
Hitchhiking to a piece
of top pop music
4
00:00:53,832 --> 00:00:57,249
with a shocking grandpa in a coach
5
00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,916
You have to know where,
at the gates of Paris
6
00:01:00,082 --> 00:01:01,916
to find the little mouse
7
00:01:02,082 --> 00:01:06,207
that, without chewing,
will make the kitty chew in the car
8
00:01:07,249 --> 00:01:14,207
Hitchhiking is not a crazy thing
to do with a family
9
00:01:15,624 --> 00:01:18,999
Hitchhiking with a great grandpa
10
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:22,666
to a piece of top pop music
11
00:01:41,207 --> 00:01:43,082
I can sort your ticket if you want
12
00:01:43,249 --> 00:01:44,832
I'll sort it myself
13
00:01:44,999 --> 00:01:46,082
I get it
14
00:01:46,291 --> 00:01:47,249
The usual
15
00:01:47,416 --> 00:01:50,624
My car is going to need 4 tyres
16
00:01:50,957 --> 00:01:52,666
Well, here's your money
17
00:01:53,624 --> 00:01:55,166
Be careful on the road
18
00:01:55,332 --> 00:01:58,041
Hitchhiking in Italy
can be dangerous
19
00:01:58,207 --> 00:01:59,957
It's OK, I've got a technique
20
00:02:08,874 --> 00:02:10,291
Bastard! Pig!
21
00:02:10,999 --> 00:02:11,874
Pervert!
22
00:02:21,457 --> 00:02:22,582
Some technique
23
00:02:22,749 --> 00:02:26,624
I suppose I'll get used to it
24
00:02:26,957 --> 00:02:28,832
Keep thinking of the money
25
00:02:29,207 --> 00:02:30,707
I'll soon have that car
26
00:02:31,082 --> 00:02:33,707
And those friends who
knocked me for hitching
27
00:02:33,874 --> 00:02:35,166
They'll be so jealous
28
00:02:35,332 --> 00:02:37,416
Well, let them go fuck themselves
29
00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:41,707
Me, Ravishing Dany, I don't care
30
00:02:42,999 --> 00:02:44,582
Here's someone
31
00:02:49,082 --> 00:02:50,582
Drive on, loser!
32
00:03:33,291 --> 00:03:36,166
Bald as an egg...
better to be careful
33
00:03:37,374 --> 00:03:39,207
Will I, or won't I?
34
00:03:40,207 --> 00:03:40,707
I will
35
00:03:47,416 --> 00:03:49,374
Florence, yes... Paris, no
36
00:03:49,874 --> 00:03:51,999
Florence? Sounds good
37
00:03:54,832 --> 00:03:56,332
Give me a minute
38
00:04:01,249 --> 00:04:02,874
You're going fishing?
39
00:04:03,374 --> 00:04:04,791
No, hunting
40
00:04:05,207 --> 00:04:07,374
- With this?
- Yes, butterflies
41
00:04:07,666 --> 00:04:09,791
- Really?
-Yes, I've got them all
42
00:04:10,457 --> 00:04:13,624
Except the
African Death's Head Hawkmoth
43
00:04:13,957 --> 00:04:15,916
That one I still have to find
44
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:17,624
I wish you luck
45
00:04:20,832 --> 00:04:22,124
You're from Paris?
46
00:04:22,374 --> 00:04:24,166
???? - It's the same thing
47
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:28,374
Paris... Notre-dame
48
00:04:28,957 --> 00:04:34,582
Sacre Coeur... Magnificent...
Sublime... Miraculous
49
00:08:31,957 --> 00:08:33,207
Look!
50
00:08:33,374 --> 00:08:35,666
The African
Death's Head Hawkmoth!
51
00:08:35,957 --> 00:08:38,374
It's yours!
I'll give it to you
52
00:08:38,707 --> 00:08:40,291
Avanti Savoia!
53
00:08:51,207 --> 00:08:52,957
That's so good!
54
00:08:53,582 --> 00:08:55,916
You're so good...!
55
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:03,374
Oh! Mama Mia!
56
00:09:04,041 --> 00:09:05,957
You're good... so good!
57
00:09:16,374 --> 00:09:19,207
What a great piece of ass
58
00:09:57,832 --> 00:10:00,041
Pig!
Defrocked priest!
59
00:10:05,332 --> 00:10:07,249
Thinks I'm one of his butterflies
60
00:10:07,457 --> 00:10:08,582
Bloody foreigners!
61
00:10:10,207 --> 00:10:11,291
I'm fed up
62
00:10:17,041 --> 00:10:19,166
They're even worse than the French
63
00:10:19,457 --> 00:10:21,749
You've no idea, let me tell you
64
00:10:22,624 --> 00:10:24,832
For me, Dany,
ifl don't like a guy...
65
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:25,874
Curtains...
66
00:10:27,749 --> 00:10:30,332
But ifl like him...
67
00:10:31,041 --> 00:10:34,374
What did the other one say?
Something like...
68
00:10:35,749 --> 00:10:36,624
Ah, yes...
69
00:10:38,207 --> 00:10:41,457
“The consultation
and then the opening"
70
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:43,374
That's it - the opening!
71
00:11:15,874 --> 00:11:18,832
Marcelo...
Pull over, will you
72
00:11:31,541 --> 00:11:33,041
Get in, miss
73
00:11:55,957 --> 00:11:58,707
- You're going to Paris like that?
- Yes
74
00:11:58,957 --> 00:12:00,624
That's amazing
75
00:12:01,624 --> 00:12:04,207
I'm going to Florence...
I'm French too
76
00:12:04,374 --> 00:12:06,957
My husband's Italian,
I'm going to see him now
77
00:12:07,124 --> 00:12:08,874
That's great, it's on my way
78
00:12:11,957 --> 00:12:13,874
- You've come from Rome?
- Yes
79
00:12:14,541 --> 00:12:16,207
I changed cars twice
80
00:12:16,582 --> 00:12:18,916
- Really? Why?
- Breakdowns
81
00:12:19,499 --> 00:12:20,416
Breakdowns?
82
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,374
Ignition failure
83
00:12:24,374 --> 00:12:25,791
You liked Rome?
84
00:12:26,457 --> 00:12:28,124
I didn't see much of it
85
00:12:28,416 --> 00:12:31,082
I did the show and then I left
86
00:12:31,249 --> 00:12:34,332
Quite right.
Rome can be very tiring
87
00:12:34,749 --> 00:12:36,249
La Dolce vita?
88
00:12:36,416 --> 00:12:38,207
Oh, God!
89
00:12:54,457 --> 00:12:55,999
You're very nice
90
00:12:56,207 --> 00:12:59,582
I can't leave you
looking for a ride so late
91
00:12:59,749 --> 00:13:00,791
I'll be fine
92
00:13:00,957 --> 00:13:05,332
You must stay with us
and then leave in the morning
93
00:13:05,499 --> 00:13:07,791
My husband is lovely,
youW|see
94
00:13:08,291 --> 00:13:12,874
It's not safe hitching at night
there are some strange types about
95
00:13:13,541 --> 00:13:14,624
I accept
96
00:13:14,874 --> 00:13:16,957
I admit, I'm a little tired
97
00:13:17,791 --> 00:13:20,249
My name's Danielle - Dany
98
00:13:20,416 --> 00:13:22,041
And I'm Thalassa
99
00:13:22,624 --> 00:13:23,916
Unusual, right?
100
00:13:24,124 --> 00:13:25,207
But it's lovely
101
00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:36,749
Marcello, take our guest to the salon
102
00:14:37,249 --> 00:14:38,791
I'll fetch my husband
103
00:17:24,791 --> 00:17:25,749
Thalassa!
104
00:17:58,707 --> 00:18:00,249
Open this door now
105
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,457
Why won't you open it?
106
00:18:50,291 --> 00:18:51,207
You're mad!
107
00:18:51,499 --> 00:18:52,249
Stop it!
108
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:53,916
Stop it!
109
00:18:55,124 --> 00:18:55,624
No!
110
00:18:56,041 --> 00:18:57,207
Thalassa
111
00:18:58,291 --> 00:18:59,541
Thalassa!
112
00:19:00,332 --> 00:19:01,082
No...
113
00:19:01,791 --> 00:19:02,541
5toP---
114
00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:03,957
Please
115
00:19:04,499 --> 00:19:05,166
No
116
00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:06,791
No
117
00:19:23,457 --> 00:19:26,416
Stop! Stop! I can't stand it
118
00:19:28,832 --> 00:19:31,416
I can't take any more...
Please!
119
00:19:31,874 --> 00:19:32,957
It hurts...
120
00:19:33,374 --> 00:19:34,499
Thalassa!
121
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:37,457
Tell him...
Tell him to stop
122
00:19:37,874 --> 00:19:39,041
Help!
123
00:19:39,457 --> 00:19:40,457
Help!
124
00:19:40,874 --> 00:19:41,791
Stop
125
00:19:43,166 --> 00:19:43,791
No!
126
00:19:45,582 --> 00:19:47,207
I'll do whatever you want
127
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:52,249
Please...
128
00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:53,499
Please...
129
00:20:05,832 --> 00:20:06,541
Get out
130
00:23:00,624 --> 00:23:02,791
- You're not stopping?
- Don't be silly
131
00:23:03,041 --> 00:23:04,791
I saw you look at her legs
132
00:23:19,124 --> 00:23:22,166
No chance today,
only guys with their chicks
133
00:23:22,457 --> 00:23:24,999
Seems they're all
married round here
134
00:23:52,457 --> 00:23:53,457
A hearse?
135
00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:55,374
Better than nothing
136
00:23:56,041 --> 00:23:57,082
Why not...
137
00:24:01,291 --> 00:24:02,207
Get in
138
00:24:02,374 --> 00:24:05,041
Make yourself at home little lady
139
00:24:28,082 --> 00:24:29,707
I'm very happy to see you there
140
00:24:30,624 --> 00:24:32,457
And I'll be even happier
141
00:24:33,082 --> 00:24:36,707
This morning, as they say,
I was down in the dumps
142
00:24:36,874 --> 00:24:37,832
But Why?
143
00:24:38,374 --> 00:24:42,791
It's not like I'm all alone, but...
That one there doesn't talk
144
00:24:43,874 --> 00:24:46,374
- That one there being...
- Of course
145
00:24:46,624 --> 00:24:47,874
And he's a doctor
146
00:24:48,332 --> 00:24:50,207
I never go to doctors, me
147
00:24:50,624 --> 00:24:51,624
Don't trust them
148
00:24:52,249 --> 00:24:56,499
Proves I'm right, because
he's back there and I'm up here
149
00:24:57,374 --> 00:24:58,874
And I'm even a bit lazy
150
00:25:09,291 --> 00:25:10,707
So where you headed?
151
00:25:11,374 --> 00:25:11,999
Paris
152
00:25:12,666 --> 00:25:15,582
But don't worry,
I can get out if you want
153
00:25:18,624 --> 00:25:19,957
Well, I'll tell you
154
00:25:20,916 --> 00:25:21,499
If...
155
00:25:22,791 --> 00:25:24,707
If you're nice to me, I might...
156
00:25:25,041 --> 00:25:26,207
might go to Paris
157
00:25:27,791 --> 00:25:30,749
He's in no hurry,
the burial's tomorrow
158
00:25:31,291 --> 00:25:32,166
Nice?
159
00:25:33,124 --> 00:25:35,124
What do you mean exactly?
160
00:25:37,582 --> 00:25:39,999
Just a little kiss to start with
161
00:25:40,791 --> 00:25:43,707
Then maybe we pull over
into the woods here
162
00:25:43,874 --> 00:25:45,624
Get under the van...
163
00:25:45,791 --> 00:25:48,666
- Under the van?
- There's a rug back there
164
00:25:49,249 --> 00:25:53,249
I'll show you what us undertakers
are made of, chikadee
165
00:25:53,416 --> 00:25:55,249
You're well put together
166
00:25:55,457 --> 00:25:58,541
I studied anatomy before
I worked in the morgue
167
00:25:58,707 --> 00:26:00,207
Oh, for God's sake...
168
00:26:03,041 --> 00:26:06,291
Just thinking about it and
seeing that bit of leg there
169
00:26:06,457 --> 00:26:08,374
makes me mad
170
00:26:08,707 --> 00:26:10,374
I can't wait to get this over with
171
00:26:10,582 --> 00:26:12,832
Or the lid will blow Off the pot!
172
00:26:13,666 --> 00:26:15,957
But before it blows
I'd like to get out
173
00:26:16,166 --> 00:26:17,749
Please stop!
174
00:26:17,916 --> 00:26:19,624
God's sake, here's the wood
175
00:26:19,791 --> 00:26:22,624
Too right we're stopping,
you bet...
176
00:26:34,874 --> 00:26:36,541
Hold on!
177
00:26:36,707 --> 00:26:38,332
Stop! I said stop!
178
00:26:43,624 --> 00:26:45,916
That bitch runs faster than me
179
00:26:56,124 --> 00:26:57,666
This one won't get away
180
00:27:07,082 --> 00:27:09,874
Help! Dad! Help!
181
00:27:15,041 --> 00:27:16,291
You bloody pig!
182
00:27:34,457 --> 00:27:35,707
I'm so happy
183
00:27:35,874 --> 00:27:36,916
I'm not
184
00:27:37,499 --> 00:27:38,541
Listen...
185
00:27:38,957 --> 00:27:40,624
Anything strange on the road?
186
00:27:40,791 --> 00:27:41,707
No, Why?
187
00:27:42,249 --> 00:27:44,666
- You didn't see anything?
- Well...
188
00:27:45,541 --> 00:27:49,791
Didn't see all the police cars
ten minutes ago?
189
00:27:49,957 --> 00:27:51,999
Ten minutes ago I wasn't here
190
00:27:52,166 --> 00:27:53,999
What were the police doing?
191
00:27:54,207 --> 00:27:56,207
Looking for a dangerous maniac
192
00:27:56,374 --> 00:27:59,874
He escaped from the nearby
asylum in a stolen Peugeot
193
00:28:00,374 --> 00:28:01,791
Blue-gray
194
00:28:02,874 --> 00:28:04,166
How do you know that?
195
00:28:04,332 --> 00:28:06,416
I'm the director of the asylum
196
00:28:06,582 --> 00:28:07,916
He's my patient
197
00:28:08,707 --> 00:28:10,457
Is he dangerous?
198
00:28:10,666 --> 00:28:14,582
He thinks women are sheep
and sheep are women
199
00:28:14,749 --> 00:28:17,457
- That's a good sort of crazy
- Yes, very good
200
00:28:18,041 --> 00:28:19,707
He rapes the sheep
201
00:28:20,124 --> 00:28:22,124
and cuts women's throats
202
00:28:32,666 --> 00:28:34,624
That's very soft wool
203
00:28:43,707 --> 00:28:45,916
Quick... Look!
204
00:28:46,291 --> 00:28:48,332
All those women in that field
205
00:28:54,999 --> 00:28:56,624
What are they up to?
206
00:29:03,916 --> 00:29:05,832
He can't be far from here
207
00:29:06,207 --> 00:29:07,457
You can help me
208
00:29:07,624 --> 00:29:08,916
We'll catch him
209
00:29:09,457 --> 00:29:10,957
Since he's dangerous
210
00:29:11,374 --> 00:29:12,707
we'll be armed
211
00:29:38,707 --> 00:29:41,707
Please sir, it's a matter
of life and death
212
00:29:41,874 --> 00:29:43,499
Get in, get in
213
00:29:43,999 --> 00:29:46,874
You have to live singing,
you have to live snoozing,
214
00:29:47,041 --> 00:29:48,832
you have to live laughing
215
00:29:51,666 --> 00:29:55,582
I don't feel like laughing.
A madman with a kitchen knife...
216
00:29:55,749 --> 00:29:57,707
He wanted to cut my neck.
Took me for a sheep
217
00:29:57,874 --> 00:29:59,416
That's a good one!
218
00:30:00,374 --> 00:30:02,291
Stop here and you'll see
219
00:30:17,457 --> 00:30:18,624
Fancy a little drink?
220
00:30:19,291 --> 00:30:20,707
No thanks, I'm OK
221
00:30:22,624 --> 00:30:23,541
Fair enough
222
00:30:28,041 --> 00:30:29,041
He's a good laugh
223
00:30:29,207 --> 00:30:31,457
The undertaker wanted
to rape me in his van
224
00:30:31,624 --> 00:30:32,749
next to the stiff
225
00:30:32,916 --> 00:30:34,124
That's funny?
226
00:30:34,291 --> 00:30:35,166
Listen...
227
00:30:35,332 --> 00:30:40,707
In the funeral van, I got laid
228
00:30:40,874 --> 00:30:43,207
What a hit!
You turned it down?
229
00:30:43,374 --> 00:30:45,124
He's not far away
230
00:30:45,291 --> 00:30:50,166
With your hair, he won't look too close,
with the lid on his pot about to blow off
231
00:30:50,332 --> 00:30:52,791
In a hearse? Wonderful!
232
00:30:53,249 --> 00:30:56,832
The pot in the hearse
The hearse in the pot,
233
00:30:56,999 --> 00:30:58,916
in the pot, in the pot
234
00:30:59,124 --> 00:31:02,624
Antoine, he's screwed!
Christophe, washed up!
235
00:31:03,707 --> 00:31:08,374
The pot and the mortician.
The mortician and the pot.
236
00:31:08,541 --> 00:31:13,166
The pot and the pot, the pot...
237
00:31:14,624 --> 00:31:18,957
The stiff wants to get out
of the hearse and run away
238
00:31:19,124 --> 00:31:23,457
the mortician wants to scorch him,
scorch him in the pot
239
00:31:23,749 --> 00:31:28,041
The hearse wants to stuff it,
without the mortician's invitation
240
00:31:28,207 --> 00:31:32,291
and it starts to fight,
to quibble for the pot
241
00:31:32,457 --> 00:31:36,624
The stiff is excited, he wants
to fill it with holy water
242
00:31:36,791 --> 00:31:39,041
The mortician doesn't agree
243
00:31:39,207 --> 00:31:45,749
He pees in the pot, and the priest,
scanda/ized, runs after them
244
00:31:45,916 --> 00:31:49,874
The hearse is a firecracker,
the stiff is bereaved,
245
00:31:50,041 --> 00:31:54,124
the mortician is drunk,
and the pot is made of clay
246
00:31:54,332 --> 00:31:58,166
The stiff, the mortician,
the hearse, and the pot
247
00:31:58,457 --> 00:32:00,666
The pot, the pot...
248
00:32:01,666 --> 00:32:03,707
I can't take any more!
Stop it!
249
00:32:03,916 --> 00:32:05,166
You don't get it!
250
00:32:05,332 --> 00:32:07,332
That's an LP deal all sorted
251
00:32:07,499 --> 00:32:10,624
Barc|ay'|| be all over us,
we'll share it
252
00:32:10,791 --> 00:32:12,582
Why ride with an undertaker?
253
00:32:12,749 --> 00:32:15,416
If you're hitching
take the first car that stops
254
00:32:15,582 --> 00:32:16,541
Great. Thanks!
255
00:32:16,707 --> 00:32:19,124
Not you,
you weren't the first
256
00:32:20,374 --> 00:32:22,166
So you're a singer then
257
00:32:22,874 --> 00:32:24,874
Just back from the C6te
258
00:32:25,041 --> 00:32:27,749
But there's too many now,
2O at St Tropez
259
00:32:27,916 --> 00:32:29,166
No more room
260
00:32:29,457 --> 00:32:33,541
- So what do you do, besides burials?
- I'm a freelance model
261
00:32:33,707 --> 00:32:35,249
Not for long
262
00:32:35,582 --> 00:32:38,957
With what I stash,
I'll soon have my own wheels
263
00:32:39,124 --> 00:32:40,916
And will you give rides?
264
00:32:41,082 --> 00:32:43,457
No! Do you think I'm dumb?
265
00:32:43,624 --> 00:32:45,707
But don't answer that
266
00:32:45,874 --> 00:32:48,666
I've an idea.
I've a picnic in the trunk
267
00:32:48,832 --> 00:32:51,332
I know a little place we could stop
268
00:32:51,582 --> 00:32:54,291
Great! I could do with that
269
00:33:18,874 --> 00:33:21,832
_ _I'm Dany,
|s Sebastlen your real name?
270
00:33:22,332 --> 00:33:23,457
You're surprised?
271
00:33:24,124 --> 00:33:25,957
You seem Dutch
272
00:33:26,332 --> 00:33:28,457
Ah, the Van Gogh pipe smoker
273
00:33:28,624 --> 00:33:29,707
It's been said
274
00:33:30,124 --> 00:33:31,666
But I was born in Paris
275
00:33:31,832 --> 00:33:34,707
8th arrondissement,
Rue Amsterdam
276
00:33:34,916 --> 00:33:36,541
That explains it
277
00:33:36,707 --> 00:33:39,291
A guy from the north,
you don't swim in mid-summer
278
00:33:39,874 --> 00:33:41,541
I can't sing with wet feet
279
00:33:41,707 --> 00:33:42,749
That's odd
280
00:33:42,999 --> 00:33:45,457
You make up songs about anything?
281
00:33:48,832 --> 00:33:51,541
The stupider the subject,
the better the song
282
00:33:51,874 --> 00:33:55,499
Here, I'll pick up my guitar
and write a song for you
283
00:33:55,957 --> 00:33:57,207
How sweet
284
00:33:57,624 --> 00:33:59,457
Count up to three and I'm off
285
00:33:59,749 --> 00:34:01,874
One-two-three
286
00:34:02,791 --> 00:34:06,624
Dany you have your car
287
00:34:07,541 --> 00:34:11,707
Dany, you can fly away
288
00:34:12,041 --> 00:34:16,457
You can leave your mouse hole
and wander in all the paradises
289
00:34:16,624 --> 00:34:20,249
paradises where love
is allowed on Saturdays
290
00:34:20,749 --> 00:34:24,624
and Sundays and Tuesdays
and Fridays
291
00:34:24,832 --> 00:34:26,291
Dan)'
292
00:34:32,624 --> 00:34:35,207
I'd like a copy of that
to help me sleep
293
00:34:35,707 --> 00:34:37,374
Now make yourself useful
294
00:34:37,541 --> 00:34:38,707
Help me dry off
295
00:34:42,874 --> 00:34:45,041
What shall we do with these?
296
00:34:45,332 --> 00:34:47,624
Pull them down but don't peek
297
00:34:49,874 --> 00:34:52,666
Come on, you're cheating
298
00:34:58,291 --> 00:34:59,957
Is this all natural?
299
00:35:00,124 --> 00:35:01,832
No, Carita did it for me
300
00:35:06,374 --> 00:35:08,624
I quite like a guy with long hair
301
00:35:55,332 --> 00:35:56,749
So, Sebastian...
302
00:35:57,041 --> 00:35:58,291
It's Sebastienne
303
00:36:03,957 --> 00:36:04,832
Do you mind?
304
00:36:06,374 --> 00:36:09,624
Well, I think I could...
305
00:36:11,166 --> 00:36:13,707
This is my first time with a girl
306
00:36:15,957 --> 00:36:16,791
Help me
307
00:36:17,374 --> 00:36:18,874
Help me get undressed
308
00:36:34,749 --> 00:36:35,499
ReaHy?
309
00:36:36,374 --> 00:36:37,916
So now what do we do?
310
00:36:38,082 --> 00:36:39,166
What do we do?
311
00:37:50,874 --> 00:37:52,999
So, Dany, was it OK in Italy?
312
00:37:53,166 --> 00:37:54,374
Yes... yes
313
00:37:54,707 --> 00:37:56,291
No bad incidents?
314
00:37:56,457 --> 00:37:59,124
Lovely people, always so friendly
315
00:37:59,291 --> 00:38:00,124
That's good
316
00:38:00,332 --> 00:38:02,124
Dany, there's a job in Lyons
317
00:38:02,291 --> 00:38:06,541
You'll be travelling
first class return, as usual?
318
00:38:07,041 --> 00:38:07,874
As usual
319
00:38:48,916 --> 00:38:49,749
That worked
320
00:38:50,332 --> 00:38:52,791
- I hit that jerk of a cashier
- It's bad
321
00:38:53,124 --> 00:38:55,916
— Could have shot his legs
- Don't worry about that
322
00:38:56,207 --> 00:38:57,499
Just drive
323
00:39:18,957 --> 00:39:19,541
Right
324
00:39:19,832 --> 00:39:21,249
Your cut is in the bag
325
00:39:22,541 --> 00:39:23,916
Metro's on the left
326
00:39:25,624 --> 00:39:27,541
So we agree, you'll carry on
327
00:39:27,957 --> 00:39:29,291
That's what we want
328
00:39:29,916 --> 00:39:31,416
- You got the dough?
- Yes
329
00:39:48,374 --> 00:39:51,957
- Not coming to Nogent, Bob?
- I'm going to the alps with Maurice
330
00:39:52,124 --> 00:39:53,457
- Cheers
- Bye
331
00:39:59,416 --> 00:40:02,707
They escaped in a
white Peugeot station wagon
332
00:40:02,874 --> 00:40:04,499
driven by a third man
333
00:40:04,666 --> 00:40:06,582
The car's number is known
334
00:40:06,957 --> 00:40:12,166
The registration number
is 762575
335
00:40:12,457 --> 00:40:14,541
The car is probably stolen
336
00:42:11,791 --> 00:42:13,374
I'm going to Lyon
337
00:42:13,999 --> 00:42:17,416
Sadly, I'm not.
But Or|y's just as good
338
00:42:22,624 --> 00:42:25,082
- Shall I stop for that hitcher?
- Why?
339
00:42:25,582 --> 00:42:27,957
Cops won't be looking for a couple
340
00:42:59,082 --> 00:43:02,457
- You're not taking the freeway?
— Costs too much
341
00:43:37,124 --> 00:43:39,541
Special police message:
342
00:43:40,582 --> 00:43:46,832
Two of the gang of bank robbers
mentioned in our earlier report
343
00:43:46,999 --> 00:43:51,499
transferred to a second vehicle
which is now being traced
344
00:43:51,707 --> 00:43:56,832
The license plate number
is 80-93-NN-75
345
00:43:57,332 --> 00:44:00,957
The cashier who was shot
during the raid
346
00:44:01,124 --> 00:44:03,291
died on arrival at hospital
347
00:44:03,707 --> 00:44:06,916
Any information about
the gang's whereabouts
348
00:44:07,124 --> 00:44:12,416
can be given by
telephone to Archive 0016
349
00:46:51,332 --> 00:46:52,166
A roadblock
350
00:46:55,624 --> 00:46:57,499
Get the papers
351
00:47:14,749 --> 00:47:16,832
Your registration documents
352
00:47:16,999 --> 00:47:18,999
Give him the papers, dear
353
00:47:22,666 --> 00:47:24,916
I need your papers, not hers
354
00:48:25,749 --> 00:48:26,749
What are you doing?
355
00:48:26,916 --> 00:48:28,749
Getting onto the side roads
356
00:49:27,624 --> 00:49:28,874
I think we got them
357
00:49:30,374 --> 00:49:33,291
- Got an idea?
- Yes, I've got an idea
358
00:49:33,707 --> 00:49:34,874
So what is it?
359
00:49:36,457 --> 00:49:40,249
Take the backroads to Dijon,
divide the cash
360
00:49:40,416 --> 00:49:42,666
and then split up
361
00:49:42,832 --> 00:49:43,416
The car?
362
00:49:43,582 --> 00:49:45,207
Dump it in a place I know
363
00:49:54,166 --> 00:49:55,999
And no witnesses
364
00:50:06,166 --> 00:50:08,499
You're right.
No witnesses
365
00:50:32,249 --> 00:50:33,916
Stop, you're hurting me
366
00:50:50,291 --> 00:50:51,374
You missed your chance
367
00:50:52,082 --> 00:50:53,999
That's not very nice
368
00:51:01,832 --> 00:51:04,249
Take her in the back and tie her up
369
00:51:21,124 --> 00:51:22,416
Give me your hands
370
00:51:24,832 --> 00:51:25,666
Please...
371
00:51:26,249 --> 00:51:27,416
Don't hurt me
372
00:51:27,749 --> 00:51:29,166
I won't say anything
373
00:55:28,874 --> 00:55:29,791
Get out
374
00:55:31,332 --> 00:55:32,082
Do it
375
00:55:32,541 --> 00:55:33,707
I said get out
376
00:58:20,541 --> 00:58:21,791
No witnesses
377
00:58:46,249 --> 00:58:47,082
So what now?
378
00:58:50,541 --> 00:58:51,957
Try to hitch a ride?
379
00:58:53,999 --> 00:58:55,832
- Here, take this
- No...
380
00:58:55,999 --> 00:58:57,832
- Put it in your bag
- I don't want it
381
00:58:57,999 --> 00:58:58,832
Fine
382
00:59:03,457 --> 00:59:04,624
What's your name?
383
00:59:05,707 --> 00:59:06,541
Dany
384
00:59:08,707 --> 00:59:10,041
You can come with me
385
00:59:11,291 --> 00:59:13,666
We live in different worlds,
you and me
386
00:59:22,957 --> 00:59:23,791
Listen...
387
00:59:24,416 --> 00:59:25,499
You never saw me
388
00:59:27,124 --> 00:59:29,041
OK, I never saw you
389
01:01:32,791 --> 01:01:34,707
Are you going to Paris?
390
01:01:35,666 --> 01:01:39,541
I don't know where we're going
from one minute to the next
391
01:01:39,791 --> 01:01:41,291
Well, I thought I'd ask
392
01:01:46,874 --> 01:01:48,541
Please, come here miss
393
01:01:57,124 --> 01:01:59,291
In fact we are going to Paris
394
01:01:59,916 --> 01:02:01,499
Alfred, get the bags
395
01:02:08,124 --> 01:02:09,541
You heard me, Alfred
396
01:02:11,041 --> 01:02:13,541
As you wish, your Imperial Highness
397
01:02:14,707 --> 01:02:16,041
Imperial Highness?
398
01:02:17,957 --> 01:02:20,457
I'll get in the front, with Alfred
399
01:02:20,749 --> 01:02:21,957
Not at all
400
01:02:23,332 --> 01:02:27,166
Alfred, put the lady's bag
in the trunk!
401
01:02:50,291 --> 01:02:51,291
Here's my card
402
01:02:53,457 --> 01:02:58,707
"Imperial Prince Theodore Basile
Julien Auguste Anastase"
403
01:02:59,457 --> 01:03:02,957
Pentiologue,
Head of the Royal House of the Orient
404
01:03:03,749 --> 01:03:04,832
No Shit!
405
01:03:06,249 --> 01:03:07,791
So what do I call you?
406
01:03:08,499 --> 01:03:10,249
They call me Theodore
407
01:03:10,541 --> 01:03:13,416
And I'm Danielle.
Dany, to my friends
408
01:03:29,457 --> 01:03:31,957
In Byzantine that means:
409
01:03:32,124 --> 01:03:33,332
"Whoever you are,
410
01:03:33,499 --> 01:03:37,957
"we welcome you to this land,
blessed by the gods"
411
01:04:05,749 --> 01:04:07,541
So, you're going to Paris
412
01:04:08,374 --> 01:04:10,291
Eventually, yes
413
01:04:11,791 --> 01:04:14,166
Princess Doria, my grandmother,
414
01:04:15,291 --> 01:04:18,374
will be 95 in three weeks
415
01:04:18,541 --> 01:04:21,166
Take your time, I'm in no hurry
416
01:04:23,124 --> 01:04:26,249
First I go for a swim
in Cap d'Antibes
417
01:04:26,499 --> 01:04:30,666
One of the few places where
the limpidity of the water suits me
418
01:04:31,374 --> 01:04:33,957
And water in your bathtub's too filthy?
419
01:04:36,791 --> 01:04:39,499
Tell me, who do you know
in Monte Carlo?
420
01:04:40,041 --> 01:04:41,541
Croupiers in the casino
421
01:04:41,874 --> 01:04:42,874
Listen...
422
01:04:43,207 --> 01:04:45,041
You royals know each other?
423
01:04:45,207 --> 01:04:49,207
You can tell your guy Rainier
his roulette took all I had
424
01:04:50,291 --> 01:04:50,957
I'll do that
425
01:04:51,124 --> 01:04:52,249
Oh, I don't mean it
426
01:04:52,541 --> 01:04:55,207
He's got 3 kids
and might be expecting a 4th
427
01:04:55,374 --> 01:04:57,457
That's careless on his part
428
01:04:57,624 --> 01:04:59,749
He promised not to do it again
429
01:04:59,916 --> 01:05:01,332
Whom did he promise?
430
01:05:02,291 --> 01:05:04,707
The family allowance office
431
01:05:06,457 --> 01:05:11,624
By the way if you go to Cap d'Antibes
what will I do with Alfred all that time?
432
01:05:12,124 --> 01:05:13,832
I find his eyes a bit scary
433
01:05:16,082 --> 01:05:18,082
Well, you have choice
434
01:05:18,749 --> 01:05:19,707
Share my water
435
01:05:20,791 --> 01:05:22,207
or stay in the car
436
01:05:22,374 --> 01:05:24,666
Alfred can read your cards
437
01:05:25,291 --> 01:05:26,541
Share your water?
438
01:05:26,957 --> 01:05:29,207
Get in your tub, do you mean?
439
01:05:30,041 --> 01:05:31,249
It's in the sea
440
01:05:31,791 --> 01:05:33,541
Deep and mysterious
441
01:05:34,499 --> 01:05:36,332
That's pretty
442
01:05:37,207 --> 01:05:37,874
Yes
443
01:05:38,374 --> 01:05:39,957
La bohéme, start of Act Two
444
01:05:40,291 --> 01:05:41,207
Sing it for me
445
01:05:41,874 --> 01:05:43,041
Not right now
446
01:06:40,291 --> 01:06:41,457
Here we are
447
01:06:53,916 --> 01:06:56,624
Shall I serve his Imperial Highness?
448
01:06:57,082 --> 01:07:00,166
No, you can eat it.
I shall dine at the Pavillon
449
01:07:00,832 --> 01:07:02,374
That's a great idea
450
01:07:02,666 --> 01:07:07,374
Alfred, in my case
there's a pété sandwich
451
01:07:09,374 --> 01:07:10,957
Thank you, madame
452
01:07:11,124 --> 01:07:12,582
Come on, I'm hungry
453
01:07:28,082 --> 01:07:31,374
How far is it from Byzantium
to Constantinople?
454
01:07:33,249 --> 01:07:34,416
Right next door
455
01:07:34,999 --> 01:07:38,166
Can't you insist the Turks
give back your throne?
456
01:07:38,332 --> 01:07:39,916
I'd have to beg for that
457
01:07:40,499 --> 01:07:42,541
And a Pentiologue never begs
458
01:07:43,666 --> 01:07:46,666
They beheaded my uncle
the Emperor Anastase
459
01:07:47,332 --> 01:07:50,916
And impaled Pentiologue Theodore,
the Imperial Prince
460
01:07:51,624 --> 01:07:52,999
Best stay away then
461
01:07:53,957 --> 01:07:55,082
That's my plan
462
01:07:55,332 --> 01:07:57,041
They left you with something
463
01:07:57,207 --> 01:07:59,541
A Rolls, a chauffeur,
that costs a lot
464
01:08:00,499 --> 01:08:03,332
Those infidels stole the treasure
of Santa Sophia
465
01:08:03,499 --> 01:08:07,291
But thanks to a happy alliance
my grandfather restored our finances
466
01:08:07,666 --> 01:08:09,666
Poked an American girl
467
01:08:10,541 --> 01:08:11,374
Poked...?
468
01:08:12,332 --> 01:08:15,249
No, he simply married one
469
01:08:26,666 --> 01:08:28,832
Should I bring another bottle?
470
01:08:29,249 --> 01:08:31,749
You should indeed,
and a big one
471
01:08:34,541 --> 01:08:35,874
He's very keen
472
01:08:36,791 --> 01:08:39,082
And who did your father marry?
473
01:08:39,582 --> 01:08:40,832
Another American
474
01:08:41,499 --> 01:08:42,416
It's a habit
475
01:08:43,624 --> 01:08:47,041
No, a tradition.
One I intend to challenge
476
01:08:50,499 --> 01:08:52,499
Brute Imperial
477
01:08:53,082 --> 01:08:54,666
Don't be so rude
478
01:08:55,166 --> 01:08:56,124
Sorry?
479
01:08:56,332 --> 01:08:58,332
You called him an imperial brute
480
01:08:59,082 --> 01:09:00,582
It's the Champagne
481
01:09:00,957 --> 01:09:03,707
Moet et Chandon, Brut Imperial
482
01:09:03,874 --> 01:09:06,457
Well, you could just have said so
483
01:09:06,624 --> 01:09:09,374
Serve it and give the bill
to my chauffeur
484
01:09:10,582 --> 01:09:14,999
I saw that at the gas station,
you got Alfred to pay
485
01:09:16,082 --> 01:09:21,874
An Imperial Highness can never
deal with trivial matters like money
486
01:09:23,041 --> 01:09:27,124
A Pentiologue can not
hold out his hand to receive money
487
01:09:27,749 --> 01:09:29,582
be it even a 1000 dollar bill
488
01:09:31,124 --> 01:09:34,124
That's no problem,
I could hold it for you
489
01:09:34,749 --> 01:09:38,166
So you've really never
touched a bank note or a coin
490
01:09:38,582 --> 01:09:39,749
Why should I?
491
01:09:40,416 --> 01:09:41,832
I have Alfred for that
492
01:09:42,541 --> 01:09:43,832
I guess that's so
493
01:09:55,541 --> 01:09:58,624
If you're not in a hurry
can we go via St Tropez?
494
01:09:58,791 --> 01:10:01,207
I was just thinking
we could eat at Da Lolo's
495
01:10:02,666 --> 01:10:04,624
You're joking, I'm in jeans
496
01:10:04,832 --> 01:10:06,082
Alfred will fix that
497
01:11:18,332 --> 01:11:22,166
What a loser that Alfred is,
didn't even eat my sandwich
498
01:11:23,582 --> 01:11:24,416
What is it?
499
01:11:24,707 --> 01:11:25,582
Alfred
500
01:11:25,832 --> 01:11:26,666
Come in
501
01:11:31,249 --> 01:11:33,499
His Highness has a migraine
502
01:11:33,874 --> 01:11:36,666
and has cancelled the meal
at Da Lolo
503
01:11:37,749 --> 01:11:41,041
But a couple of aspirins
will sort that
504
01:11:41,416 --> 01:11:44,249
The Prince has ordered
food for his apartments
505
01:11:45,082 --> 01:11:47,749
He requests your presence there, miss
506
01:11:47,957 --> 01:11:49,832
Please come with me
507
01:11:49,999 --> 01:11:52,582
Hotel food doesn't thrill me
508
01:11:52,999 --> 01:11:56,999
Well, there's always
the sandwich I didn't eat
509
01:11:57,249 --> 01:12:00,332
Well, it's still there if you want it
510
01:12:00,749 --> 01:12:03,749
Tell me, Alfred
what's he ordered for dinner?
511
01:12:04,291 --> 01:12:07,916
Russian caviar,
grilled gulf lobster, and...
512
01:12:08,082 --> 01:12:10,707
Go on.
I'll get changed
513
01:12:35,916 --> 01:12:36,416
Come in
514
01:13:03,041 --> 01:13:04,582
So how's the migraine?
515
01:13:05,124 --> 01:13:05,707
Better
516
01:13:06,082 --> 01:13:06,582
Much better
517
01:13:07,707 --> 01:13:08,957
I'm allergic...
518
01:13:15,749 --> 01:13:16,999
How strange!
519
01:13:17,582 --> 01:13:19,957
Some tunes give me migraine...
520
01:13:20,124 --> 01:13:24,624
Like La vie en rose
or Petit Papa Noel, for example
521
01:13:26,166 --> 01:13:29,957
I'm sure you'll tell me
it's just a matter of taste
522
01:13:31,249 --> 01:13:35,499
I'd never tell you anything,
at least not about that
523
01:13:40,749 --> 01:13:44,249
So, tell me, you had
some problems at the casino?
524
01:13:44,416 --> 01:13:47,541
Yes! I lost the car's
back wheels and radiator
525
01:13:47,916 --> 01:13:51,082
That American game "craps",
daylight robbery
526
01:13:51,624 --> 01:13:52,874
Then the roulette
527
01:13:53,166 --> 01:13:55,749
a girl pal gave me a martingale,
the cow!
528
01:13:56,249 --> 01:13:57,499
That's the chassis gone
529
01:13:57,832 --> 01:13:59,582
So much for that car of mine...
530
01:14:08,374 --> 01:14:10,249
Can you hear that music?
531
01:14:10,416 --> 01:14:12,999
It's from Gunter Sachs's club
532
01:14:14,249 --> 01:14:16,041
You know him?
533
01:14:16,999 --> 01:14:18,832
Like my pocket
534
01:14:19,582 --> 01:14:20,666
Or, like his
535
01:14:23,249 --> 01:14:25,332
You're helping him out?
536
01:14:27,999 --> 01:14:28,999
Not exactly
537
01:14:29,166 --> 01:14:32,916
He finances the restoration
of the oriental Pentiologues
538
01:14:33,749 --> 01:14:36,499
In exchange I made him
Count of Antioch
539
01:14:38,832 --> 01:14:42,332
I see you don't know
the importance of this title
540
01:14:42,874 --> 01:14:46,916
It's 25th in line of succession
to the throne of Byzantium
541
01:14:49,457 --> 01:14:50,874
That's something
542
01:14:51,041 --> 01:14:51,749
And me...
543
01:14:51,916 --> 01:14:54,999
Can't you maybe
make me a marquess?
544
01:14:55,416 --> 01:14:56,832
I'll talk to Alfred
545
01:14:57,166 --> 01:15:00,207
But why?
What's it to do with him?
546
01:15:00,499 --> 01:15:04,166
He's the kingdom's feudatory
and holds the royal seal
547
01:15:04,582 --> 01:15:07,332
Whatever that is!
548
01:15:11,791 --> 01:15:12,957
Listen!
549
01:15:13,541 --> 01:15:15,207
It's Sebastien
550
01:15:16,832 --> 01:15:18,999
It is!
551
01:15:19,457 --> 01:15:21,332
...a useful address
552
01:15:22,707 --> 01:15:25,582
from me you can come
553
01:15:25,749 --> 01:15:28,624
to La Madrague,
where without delay
554
01:15:28,791 --> 01:15:34,291
you will be fed, bleached,
housed and pampered
555
01:15:35,207 --> 01:15:39,082
Long live St Tropez
in this affair
556
01:15:41,082 --> 01:15:45,207
In front of Senequier
we do business
557
01:15:46,666 --> 01:15:51,082
We sell dreams there,
but not reality
558
01:15:52,749 --> 01:15:56,666
that's why you should
never hesitate
559
01:15:57,041 --> 01:15:58,499
in St Tropez...
560
01:15:59,999 --> 01:16:03,124
The champagne... The music
561
01:16:03,874 --> 01:16:06,499
So now, my love, what shall we do?
562
01:16:08,082 --> 01:16:09,499
Theodore
563
01:16:09,832 --> 01:16:12,082
You've a spaniel's eyes
564
01:16:12,374 --> 01:16:14,457
So tender...
565
01:16:16,249 --> 01:16:19,124
My head's spinning,
I must lie down
566
01:16:22,166 --> 01:16:23,624
Take off my dress
567
01:16:25,957 --> 01:16:29,166
Etiquette dictates
that the maid must do that
568
01:16:29,332 --> 01:16:31,832
or my manservant
569
01:16:31,999 --> 01:16:33,582
So where is he?
570
01:16:33,791 --> 01:16:35,499
Alfred can do it
571
01:16:35,666 --> 01:16:37,541
For both of us
572
01:16:37,707 --> 01:16:39,041
Alfred, Alfred...
573
01:16:39,207 --> 01:16:41,916
I don't need Alfred
to get His Highness naked
574
01:16:42,082 --> 01:16:45,874
And now he starts
by breaking my foot
575
01:16:46,041 --> 01:16:47,332
He's devoted to me
576
01:16:47,582 --> 01:16:49,374
He helps me in everything
577
01:16:52,666 --> 01:16:54,374
Let me breathe
578
01:17:27,499 --> 01:17:28,666
So, is that it?
579
01:17:29,541 --> 01:17:32,916
It's the light
All Pentiologues are like this
580
01:17:33,166 --> 01:17:34,374
It's hereditary
581
01:17:35,124 --> 01:17:36,374
I'll fix it
582
01:18:20,416 --> 01:18:21,582
Theodore
583
01:18:22,916 --> 01:18:24,332
Getting there...
584
01:18:49,957 --> 01:18:53,082
O Theodore.. I adore you
585
01:18:55,124 --> 01:18:56,666
I'm a poet...
586
01:19:09,749 --> 01:19:10,916
You should...
587
01:19:11,249 --> 01:19:12,416
go take a shower
588
01:19:13,832 --> 01:19:15,332
I don't want to
589
01:19:16,541 --> 01:19:17,624
Well...
590
01:19:18,249 --> 01:19:20,582
Pentiologues are very fertile
591
01:19:21,041 --> 01:19:23,374
Anastase the First had...
592
01:19:24,332 --> 01:19:27,832
244 bastards
and two legitimate heirs
593
01:19:27,999 --> 01:19:29,582
I'm doing it
594
01:20:21,832 --> 01:20:27,332
Theodore... oh you're magic
595
01:20:35,999 --> 01:20:39,707
The darkness suits you so well
596
01:20:51,707 --> 01:20:52,499
You...
597
01:20:52,832 --> 01:20:53,624
You're...
598
01:20:54,166 --> 01:20:55,749
Your Highness!
599
01:21:12,624 --> 01:21:14,916
You're not a prince, Theodore...
600
01:21:15,666 --> 01:21:16,832
You're a god
601
01:21:19,957 --> 01:21:21,457
It can't be...
602
01:21:23,416 --> 01:21:25,082
It's an orgy!
603
01:21:38,749 --> 01:21:39,999
"A crazy team
604
01:21:40,624 --> 01:21:45,707
"Two crooks, both taking turns
to pose as the Prince Pentiologue,
605
01:21:46,082 --> 01:21:48,749
"were arrested in a St Tropez hotel
606
01:21:49,166 --> 01:21:53,416
"having stolen the Rolls Royce
of the Princess Pentiologue"
607
01:21:55,249 --> 01:21:57,374
And I don't even get a mention!
608
01:22:19,707 --> 01:22:23,332
I've never had a ride
from a priest before
609
01:22:23,499 --> 01:22:25,124
I hope it means good luck
610
01:22:25,957 --> 01:22:27,374
I hope so, my daughter
611
01:22:27,957 --> 01:22:28,957
Daughter?
612
01:22:29,124 --> 01:22:31,332
Ah, of course, Father
613
01:22:43,374 --> 01:22:45,582
So father, where are you taking me?
614
01:22:46,249 --> 01:22:49,374
All the way to Paradise, my child
615
01:22:51,249 --> 01:22:52,082
Amen...
40937
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