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1
00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:08,008
Hey, sister, can I trade you a
doobie for a junior vegan sub?
2
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,927
It's against corporate policy
to barter.
3
00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,429
But we do take Zelle.
4
00:00:11,429 --> 00:00:12,513
Zelle?
5
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:15,182
Is that, like,
another word for nitrous?
6
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,810
It's actually a pretty tight
digital payment network
7
00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:20,688
run by a conglomeration
of the world's largest banks.
8
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:24,692
Hey, Hayley, why don't we have
a quick chat in my office?
9
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:27,862
I noticed you've been really
applying yourself lately.
10
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,029
Thanks, boss!
11
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,490
That's not a compliment.
12
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,992
Are you old enough to--
13
00:00:32,992 --> 00:00:35,536
Hayley, do you know what the
"sub" in SubHub stands for?
14
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,038
- Submarine?
- No. Subculture.
15
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:42,626
Here at SubHub, we pride
ourselves on hiring punks,
metal-heads,
16
00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,211
and that one guy Amir.
17
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:47,548
I don't think Amir's part of a
subculture. He's just foreign.
18
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,966
Why split hairs?
19
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:52,094
Point is, you were hired to be
this branch's hippie.
20
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:54,889
But you're not a hippie.
You're a poser.
21
00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:57,183
Whoa! Can you still
call people that?
22
00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:59,643
Face it, Hayley.
You may dress like a hippie,
23
00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:02,688
but you've been working hard,
showing up on time,
24
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:03,731
and what's worse,
25
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,400
you passed
your last drug test.
26
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,527
- I'm gonna have to let you go.
27
00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:10,946
Hand over your name badge
and tuna scooper.
28
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:13,574
- But, boss, I--
- Your badge and tuna scooper!
29
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:14,825
Now!
30
00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:20,539
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
31
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:23,793
♪ I got a feeling
that it's gonna be
a wonderful day ♪
32
00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:26,879
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
33
00:01:26,879 --> 00:01:31,217
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
34
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,847
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
35
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:39,433
♪ Good morning, USA--♪
36
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,518
Ah!
37
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:45,147
{\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪
38
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:47,566
{\an8}Not a hippie?
I'll show you not a hippie.
39
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:49,610
{\an8}Ain't no one on this block
more hippie than me!
40
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,238
{\an8}- Oh, hell yeah!
41
00:01:52,238 --> 00:01:54,114
{\an8}My Amazon stock just split!
42
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:56,867
{\an8}Space Jam!
43
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:01,163
{\an8}Hayley,
this is an intervention.
44
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,331
{\an8}You're a poser.
45
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:04,208
{\an8}You guys think
I'm a poser too?
46
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:06,001
{\an8}I just got fired
'cause of this!
47
00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:07,962
{\an8}We know. Mason called.
48
00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:10,589
{\an8}But now is not your time
to speak, Hayley.
49
00:02:10,589 --> 00:02:12,132
{\an8}Now is your time...
50
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,969
{\an8}to listen. Steve?
51
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:17,179
{\an8}Hayley, if being an invirg,
52
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:20,140
{\an8}an involuntary virgin,
wasn't bad enough,
53
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,727
{\an8}now you've made me a sibaud.
54
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:25,896
{\an8}A sibling to a fraud. Klaus?
55
00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:31,151
{\an8}I'll just go from memory.
56
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,821
{\an8}Hayley, you're not
just any kind of poser.
57
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,281
{\an8}You're a wack-ass poser.
58
00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:36,991
{\an8}So the whole family's
against me?
59
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:40,411
{\an8}Not me. I'm actually really
proud of who you've become.
60
00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:41,745
{\an8}Oh, God!
61
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:45,124
{\an8}- Jeff?
- Sorry, babe,
but you're no hippie.
62
00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:47,251
{\an8}When was the last time
you stuck a flower
63
00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:50,129
{\an8}into a policeman's gun?
64
00:02:50,129 --> 00:02:54,174
{\an8}You're right! I'm a poser,
but I can change.
65
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,509
{\an8}You will change.
66
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,220
{\an8}And we know
where you can get help.
67
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:08,022
{\an8}What the hell are you doing,
flower child?
68
00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:09,273
{\an8}Get back in bed!
69
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:11,609
{\an8}This is hippie boot camp,
gotdangit!
70
00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:13,861
{\an8}I better not catch you
with your eyes open
71
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,863
{\an8}till noon at the earliest!
72
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,698
{\an8}- Sorry, sir!
- Don't "sir" me!
73
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,910
{\an8}We're all equals and power
dynamics are an illusion!
74
00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:23,203
{\an8}Now drop and give me 20!
75
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,165
{\an8}No! I meant drop acid
76
00:03:26,165 --> 00:03:28,959
{\an8}and give me a 20-minute
instrumental jam!
77
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:45,935
It's not enough patchouli
until I'm ready to puke!
78
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:52,274
You call that a blunt?
It's clearly a spliff!
79
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:56,570
This is my bong.
There are many like it,
but this one is mine.
80
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,573
You know what, maybe
I'm not a hippie anymore,
81
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,242
and being here is making me
even more of a poser.
82
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,745
Oh, sick, bro.
83
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:08,207
I love watching chicks
self-actualize.
84
00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:09,583
- Klaus?
- That's right.
85
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,044
I tagged along
because my authentic identity
86
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,338
is as a sidekick
and a sounding board.
87
00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:15,631
I don't know what to do.
88
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,716
I was a hippie for years.
89
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:20,928
But now I'm lost, and
I don't know where to turn.
90
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,973
You could always
go to church with me.
91
00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:25,057
Ew! No!
92
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:28,185
I know where you
can get a fresh start.
93
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:31,480
There's one place
that will always accept you.
94
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:35,651
And that, Hayley,
is improv comedy.
95
00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:39,863
Wow! That was tolerable.
And are you Wayne Brady?
96
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:43,993
I am! But I'm also
whoever you want me to be.
97
00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:46,954
You see, Hayley,
a good improviser
98
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:49,206
fully submits
to the almighty power
99
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:52,710
of whatever a stranger says.
Let's practice.
100
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:55,004
- Can I get a location?
- Mars!
101
00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:58,090
Matt Damon's already
been there. What else?
102
00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,550
Nope. Seen enough.
103
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:01,969
I'd love to charge you 15
hundo for our intro course,
104
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:05,264
but improv is no place
for inauthentic cowards.
105
00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:06,765
Maybe try stand-up?
106
00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,476
Great. Now what?
107
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,229
You could always
go to church with me.
108
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:14,023
Gross! Get out of here!
109
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:19,695
Well... There is one place
we could try.
110
00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:24,074
Yech! It's just the same song
over and over again.
111
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,994
Um, it's a little
more nuanced than that.
112
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:30,164
Some of the songs are
also covers of worse songs.
113
00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:31,331
Well, it's not for me.
114
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,834
Well, these tickets
were 4 bucks,
115
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,253
so I'm going back
and getting my skank on.
116
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:40,340
- So... Church?
- Fine.
117
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,594
Praise be! Plus,
I don't go to just any church.
118
00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:45,345
I go to Black church!
119
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,930
Like in the movies?
120
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:51,852
Let us pray.
121
00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:54,521
Is it supposed
to be this boring?
122
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,856
I thought Black church
was fun.
123
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,608
Not Black Catholic church.
124
00:05:57,608 --> 00:06:00,235
Black Catholics
are notoriously dull.
125
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:02,488
Who's that?
126
00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:03,864
Black Baby Jesus.
127
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,408
Not him. I mean
the guy he's kicking.
128
00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:07,868
You don't recognize The Devil?
129
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,037
He got kicked out of heaven
because he was a fake,
130
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:13,290
waltzing around like
a goody two-shoes when he was,
131
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,917
well, he was The Devil.
132
00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:18,212
Well, maybe The Devil
was just trying
to figure out who he was!
133
00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:19,755
Forgive me, Black Father.
134
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:22,591
I should not have brought this
white woman into your house.
135
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:29,973
Good news!
136
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,559
I'm not a hippie
or a poser anymore.
137
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,062
I'm a devil worshipper!
138
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:38,315
Nice try, Hayley,
but I think you're gonna
find it pretty hard
139
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,734
to shock
the unflappable Stan--
140
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:44,154
Black lipstick!
Tell me when she's gone!
141
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:49,952
Aah!
142
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,914
Yeah, that's right,
I worship the devil.
143
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:57,501
And also,
I relish in the glory of pain.
144
00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:59,795
Hayley, you're
embarrassing yourself.
145
00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:03,048
You don't speak Aramaic,
you don't own a grimoire,
146
00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:06,760
and you've never severed
a wolf's penis
under a waning moon.
147
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,845
Poser.
148
00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:08,929
I am not a poser!
149
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,180
Ooh! Owie.
150
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,890
I thought you relished
in the glory of pain.
151
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:14,935
This is the same as
when you were pretending
to be a hippie.
152
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,980
The outfit is fire,
but it's all a facade.
153
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,565
No it's not!
154
00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:22,317
I'm going to a meet-and-greet
for devil worshipers tonight.
155
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:24,069
Then you'll see.
156
00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:26,864
I'll be the most
authentic devil worshipper
you've ever heard of!
157
00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:29,658
Parenting is hard, Steve.
158
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:32,536
Remember that
before you start a family.
159
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:40,002
Hey, Hayley!
160
00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:42,004
Tuttle?
You're a devil worshipper?
161
00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:45,424
I summoned a demon
or two in my day.
162
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,259
Wait, you've summoned demons?
163
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:48,719
Oh, yeah.
164
00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:50,679
I'm actually still pretty good
friends with Beelzebub.
165
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:52,431
He owes me a casserole dish.
166
00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:54,057
I wanna summon a demon!
167
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:57,978
Thing is,
only real devil worshippers
can summon a demon,
168
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,272
or the consequences
can be deadly.
169
00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:02,941
Oh, I'm for real.
170
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,443
So how do I do it?
171
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:07,196
Easy! Everything you need is
in those scrolls over there.
172
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:13,827
Aw. This demon's a cutie pie.
173
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,371
And to summon you, I need--
174
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,916
Whoa, virgin's blood.
175
00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:22,002
Space Jam!
176
00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:26,089
Is that a tampon?
177
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:30,010
Poser. Everyone knows
devil worshipers free-bleed.
178
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,346
"Tears of an innocent."
179
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:35,849
Gotcha, dream!
180
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:39,937
Jeff, my mom thinks your hat
is stupid! I heard her say it.
181
00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:46,985
Ugh. "Slaughter a red fox"?
182
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,195
I can't do that.
183
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,446
Hey, Hayley!
184
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,949
You still down there
being a poser?
185
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:59,706
Pops, you know that job
I applied for? I got it.
186
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,334
So I gotta pack up
and move to another forest.
187
00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:03,961
Wait, you can't leave me!
188
00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,712
Haven't you heard
you're supposed to
189
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,340
stick by your father
in sickness and in health?
190
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:09,883
That's for married couples.
191
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,218
Marry me, son.
192
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,554
Listen, Pops, I'm moving out.
193
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,806
You see that?
194
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:18,725
The dummy of my loins
is abandoning his father!
195
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:21,395
Uh-oh, I think I'm having
a heart attack!
196
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,230
This is the big one,
Elizabeth!
197
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,649
I'm coming to join you, honey!
198
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:32,614
Well... I didn't slaughter it.
199
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,700
But I am stepping on its tail!
200
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,410
This has gotta be good enough!
201
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:10,277
It is I, Xnzux!
202
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,530
Archduke of Inter-Dimensional
Space Hell!
203
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:14,614
Space what now?
204
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,241
Space Hell!
205
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:19,828
You know. Hellraiser,
Event Horizon, etcetera.
206
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,122
Who has summoned me?
207
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,791
Not me, I was trying
to summon this cute little--
208
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:28,003
I mean... I did summon you!
209
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,588
Me! The summoner!
210
00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:31,798
Then you will face me
in a challenge
211
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,634
decided by your
very first utterance.
212
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,429
Like in Ghostbusters!
213
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:38,513
Space Jam?
214
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:41,975
So it shall be done.
215
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:48,607
I shall summon
Looney Tunes on your behalf,
216
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:51,818
that we might face off in a
Space Jam
217
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:55,655
when the stars align
under the darkest of skies
218
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:59,368
lit only by an impending
blood moon!
219
00:10:59,368 --> 00:11:01,912
It's on!
Wait, is that a Thursday?
220
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:04,831
- 'Cause I got
hot yoga on Thursday--
- Should you lose,
221
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,834
I will drag Langley
to Space Hell!
222
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,920
What? I gotta warn people!
223
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,672
I mean, yeah. I would.
224
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,217
Okay, so don't be mad,
225
00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:19,262
but I accidentally
summoned inter-dimensional
space demons!
226
00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:20,597
Come on, Hayley...
227
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,058
If you don't believe me,
just check the basement.
228
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:29,689
It is I, Xnzux!
229
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:37,697
Hayley! You summoned a
basketball team worth
of demons into our basement!
230
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,699
Do you know how
dangerous that is?
231
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,701
Of course
I know it's dangerous!
232
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,745
They said they're gonna
drag us all to Space Hell
233
00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:44,996
if I don't win at Space Jam,
234
00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:46,581
- which is when--
- Please, Hayley.
235
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:48,583
Everyone knows
what a Space Jam is.
236
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:51,128
Yeah! Sounds kinda rad, actually.
237
00:11:51,128 --> 00:11:52,712
It's not rad!
238
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,465
- The whole town is in danger!
- But only if you lose, right?
239
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:56,550
Well, yeah, but--
240
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,593
You could easily
win a Space Jam.
241
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:02,514
And it's not like the demons
are affecting anything
by being in this dimension.
242
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:09,521
Holy Hell! It's raining blood!
243
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:12,566
This is why I got into
this business!
244
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:16,027
So the blood rain
is because
245
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:19,030
you summoned inter-dimensional
space demons, huh?
246
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,282
That's hard to believe.
247
00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:21,408
But it's true!
248
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,034
Hayley, I've been
your neighbor for years.
249
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:26,329
I say this gently, but you're
a bit of a wack-ass poser.
250
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:28,248
She's being real this time!
251
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,666
We saw the demons too!
252
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,918
You see? The demons are real,
253
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,837
and they're gonna
drag us all to Space Hell
254
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:35,547
if I don't win
the Space Jam!
255
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,132
Sure, but only if you lose.
256
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,301
Do you believe in yourself
as an athlete?
257
00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:41,011
Of course.
258
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:43,013
And could you lead
the home team to victory?
259
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,431
Like no one else!
260
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,725
I'm the Michael Jordan of
Langley Falls!
261
00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:50,312
Then it sounds like we have
nothing to worry about,
so long as you win.
262
00:12:50,312 --> 00:12:51,897
Which she will!
263
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:54,649
How could Langley lose
with Bugs Bunny on our side?
264
00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:56,151
Yeah.
265
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:59,404
Me and Bugs versus
a sack of punk-ass demons?
266
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,239
That's what's up, Doc!
267
00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:04,451
I'm about to embarrass
y'all on the court!
268
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:07,537
All of Langley's behind me!
There's no way I can lose!
269
00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:13,335
You really thought
we were gonna do a Space Jam?
270
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:15,462
With you? A poser?
271
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,297
We were clowning you!
272
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:20,258
We know you didn't
really slaughter that fox,
273
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:24,471
and now everyone else will
know that you're a total fake.
274
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,473
You guys
are being really mean!
275
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,308
Aw, thank you!
276
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:31,228
And the blood rain wasn't us.
That was Monsanto.
277
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:41,821
Roger, where have you been?
278
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,074
Brushing up on
some of my lesser personas.
279
00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:45,742
What's with the tizzy?
280
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,953
I accidentally summoned
inter-dimensional
space demons who--
281
00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,996
Duped you into thinking
they'd do a Space Jam
282
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,998
then pulled out
to expose you as a poser?
283
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,166
Tale as old as time.
284
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,628
- So... no Space Jam?
- No.
285
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:58,088
Yes, Space Jam.
286
00:13:58,088 --> 00:14:00,507
We're gonna fake a Space Jam!
287
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:03,218
What? That verges
on the ridiculous!
288
00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:06,680
No, she's right.
If you don't pull this off,
289
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,348
no matter where you go,
290
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:11,268
you'll always be the girl
who cried Space Jam.
291
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:13,520
But how do we fake
a Space Jam?
292
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,939
With the help of
the realest guy I know,
293
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,315
Wayne Brady.
294
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,276
His improv team
could dress up as demons,
295
00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:21,027
and we could dress up
as the Looney Tunes!
296
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:25,323
I could write an
"I Believe I Can Fly" type
inspirational banger!
297
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:26,950
I could help
with the costumes!
298
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,827
And I could make snacks!
299
00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,245
Actually,
if I'm being realistic,
300
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:31,997
I'm not going to make snacks.
301
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:35,417
All right! We're gonna
fake us a Space Jam!
302
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:38,920
Roger, we'll need costumes
for inter-dimensional
space demons.
303
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,714
Bugs Bunny, Taz--
304
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:42,090
I'm a lawyer,
305
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,842
here on behalf of Disney,
Warner Brothers,
306
00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:46,386
and whatever companies Disney
and Warner don't own yet.
307
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,555
I'll be attending
the Space Jam,
308
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,683
and if I catch so much
as a whiff
of copyright infringement,
309
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:53,476
you're going to jail.
310
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:56,187
So either keep it
in the public domain
or off the basketball court.
311
00:14:57,981 --> 00:14:59,691
Oh, man, we're so screwed!
312
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:03,236
Relax. Sometimes
constraints can focus you.
When's the game?
313
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:06,323
It's when the stars align
under the darkest of skies
314
00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:08,992
lit only by an
impending blood moon.
315
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:12,120
That's a weird way
to say tomorrow.
316
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,581
What's up, Langley!
I'm Charles Barkley,
317
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,082
and this is a Space Jam.
318
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,542
Visiting from
another dimension
319
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,962
that's Hell-ish but
not quite technically Hell,
320
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:24,341
let's hear it for the demons!
321
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,263
- All right!
322
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,932
And now,
leading the home team,
323
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,436
give it up for Hayley Smith!
324
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,188
Due to a scheduling conflict,
325
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:40,106
the Looney Tunes couldn't be
here tonight.
326
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:44,027
But Langley's team is still
packed with public domain
favorites such as
327
00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:49,282
Popeye The Sailor Man's
girlfriend Olive Oyl's brother
Castor Oyl!
328
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,496
{\an8}More like Ass Hair Oyl,
329
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,581
{\an8}because it smells
like balls in here.
330
00:15:56,581 --> 00:16:01,670
From a comic strip
I've been assured
once existed, Boob McNutt?
331
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:04,798
{\an8}Not even a giggle?
332
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:07,175
{\an8}Boob McNutt's a funny name!
333
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:08,802
Next up,
334
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:12,472
Frankenstein's Monster!
335
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:16,643
The crowd is going wild
for a character
they finally recognize!
336
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,812
Dad! Lose the bolts
in your neck!
337
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:22,607
Universal Studios owns
the rights to
bolt-neck Frankenstein!
338
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,988
And last but not least,
339
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,949
Felix the Cat!
340
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,159
Wait, who's in that one?
341
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,161
- Klaus.
- How's he moving around?
342
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,454
His driving cane.
343
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,164
Ah.
344
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:41,960
Before we get started,
how about a suggestion
from the audience?
345
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,878
I have a suggestion.
346
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,380
Win!
347
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,674
So it shall be done.
348
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,308
Great, of course basketball's
your thing!
349
00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:59,310
Nope! Never touched
a basketball before.
350
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:03,857
This is just what happens when
you give yourself over to the
power of improv.
351
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,692
But you said you'd let us win!
352
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:09,237
Sorry, hope you brought
your A-game, bitch.
353
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,989
Okay, I want a clean game.
354
00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:13,867
It's Space Jam rules,
so pretty much anything goes.
355
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,706
Aah! Steve!
356
00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:25,253
♪ If I ascertain it ♪
357
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:29,048
♪ I might could do it ♪
358
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,509
♪ If I just discern it ♪
359
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:35,472
♪ Possibly I'll achieve it ♪
360
00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:39,517
♪ I perceive that I ♪
361
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:43,104
♪ Might be capable of flight ♪
362
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:47,233
♪ I wrote this song just
yesterday ♪
363
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:50,862
♪ It's pretty
good considering ♪
364
00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:53,823
♪ There's a chance
I'll ascend ♪
365
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:58,578
♪ Langley may win in the end ♪
366
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:05,752
♪ I perceive that I ♪
367
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:10,423
♪ Might be
capable of flight ♪
368
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:12,592
Whoo!
369
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:21,434
What does Castor Oyl even do?
370
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,937
I don't know! We couldn't find
clips of him online.
371
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,188
We just know he's from Popeye.
372
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:26,773
Popeye...
373
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:27,982
I've got it!
374
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,573
That's copyright infringement,
folks! Hope you like jail.
375
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:40,161
Hey, Ref! We're down a player!
We gotta sub someone in!
376
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:42,121
It's Space Jam rules.
Do whatever.
377
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,873
Steve! Plan B!
378
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,169
Folks, please welcome,
379
00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:50,797
all the way
from the year 1918,
380
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:53,383
it's Koko the Clown!
381
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:07,897
Wow, I did a really great job
on these costumes.
382
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:11,234
With time running out,
the Demonstars lead the...
383
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,861
whoever these guys are...
384
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,112
by one point!
385
00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:15,947
I can't lose, Hayley.
386
00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:18,408
I'm an improvisor.
387
00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:20,451
You're just a phony.
388
00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:23,121
Nuh-uh! I'm...
389
00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:25,415
I'm Hayley Smith!
390
00:19:29,961 --> 00:19:31,713
- Space Jam.
391
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:38,553
- We did it!
392
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:49,022
It is I, Xnzux!
393
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,442
- Aah!
394
00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:58,323
That's right, Langley!
You've been played as fools!
395
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:00,742
This wasn't a real Space Jam!
396
00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:03,536
No shit!
You think we're all idiots?
397
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,289
Wait, you knew
this game was fake?
398
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,082
That Hayley was still a fraud?
399
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:09,542
Yeah, but so what?
400
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,044
She was entertaining!
401
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:13,755
This Space Jam got
the whole community together,
402
00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:16,215
it was an excuse to get out of
the house,
403
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,843
and it made Ma happy.
404
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:24,265
Besides, Hayley is just
a 19 or maybe
22-year-old kid.
405
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:26,017
Yeah, he's right!
406
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,477
We're sorry, Hayley.
407
00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:30,188
You're not supposed to
have it all figured out yet.
408
00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:32,732
{\an8}But you? How dare you.
409
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,109
{\an8}A timeless being
coming into our dimension
410
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:37,737
{\an8}and preying on
the insecurities
of a young woman?
411
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,448
{\an8}- You're filth.
- I'm a demon!
412
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:41,699
{\an8}Thanks you guys.
413
00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:43,117
{\an8}I guess I learned my lesson.
414
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:46,537
{\an8}I don't need to be a hippie
or a devil worshipper.
415
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:47,914
{\an8}I can just be Hayley,
416
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:50,833
{\an8}even if that means
I'm a little lost sometimes.
417
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:53,836
{\an8}Sweet Black Baby Jesus,
that's corny.
31409
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