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1
00:00:02,202 --> 00:00:05,537
Damn, it feels good to have
the old boardwalk back!
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,139
This place
is awesome!
3
00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:10,074
I used to dominate
this place as a teenager.
4
00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:12,811
"queen of the boardwalk"
I used to call me.
5
00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:14,279
You know, these
places are terrible
6
00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:15,880
For the coastal
environment.
7
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,149
[ all groan ]
8
00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,752
Plus the last two boardwalks
literally washed away.
9
00:00:19,886 --> 00:00:21,420
Just seems like
a big waste of money.
10
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,355
And besides,
all these boards
11
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:25,490
Are a major splinter
hazard for people,
12
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:29,294
Like me, who exclusively
wear open-toed shows --
13
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:31,363
A historically
marginalized group!
14
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:33,298
Klaus: Whoa!
Check out that guy's package
15
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:34,800
Jiggling like crazy!
16
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:38,971
[ all cheering ]
17
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:39,972
Sell it!
18
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:41,373
[ wolf-whistles ]
19
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:44,042
Um, welcome
to the boardwalk!
20
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:46,244
♪♪
21
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:49,314
♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪
22
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:50,983
The langley boardwalk's back!
23
00:00:51,118 --> 00:00:52,784
Featuring many old favorites,
24
00:00:52,919 --> 00:00:56,054
Like the octocoaster
and fudge-mania!
25
00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:58,323
But also many new favorites,
26
00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:00,192
Like a second
fudge-mania location
27
00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:01,660
And skimboardo's --
28
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:04,596
The exclusive new restaurant
on the pier.
29
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,666
Let's go now to the new
boardwalk's confident architect!
30
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,202
Thank you for coming
to what I can say,
31
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:11,670
Without a doubt,
32
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,205
Is langley falls'
33
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:17,476
Sturdiest boardwalk ever!
34
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,478
[ cheers and applause ]
wahoo!
35
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:22,480
And to make certain,
we drove the support beams
36
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:25,417
Two miles down
into the earth's core!
37
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:28,286
This baby ain't going nowhere!
38
00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,088
Seems a little
excessive.
39
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,024
Not to mention the mole people
that must've been displaced.
40
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:33,491
Shh!
41
00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:35,627
And now to hit
42
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,030
The ceremonial final spike,
43
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:39,898
Opening us for business...
44
00:01:40,034 --> 00:01:43,301
Wrestling superstar
and my personal friend...
45
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:46,104
Bret "the hitman" hart!
46
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,241
[ cheers and applause ]
47
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:50,709
Ha ha ha!
Yeah! Whoo!
48
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:52,911
[ clang ]
[ rumbling ]
49
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,313
-Yeah!
-What was that rumble?
50
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:56,515
Oh I don't know,
hayley.
51
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,717
Maybe just
pro wrestling illustrated's
52
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,920
"most hated wrestler
of 1997"
53
00:02:02,056 --> 00:02:05,724
Kicking off the best
goddamn summer ever!
54
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,859
I'll catch up
with you guys later.
55
00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:09,261
I'm gonna hit up
some skee-ball.
56
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,063
Back in the day,
I was nasty.
57
00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:14,999
Anyway, I wanna see if the
old man's still got his touch!
58
00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:16,334
Gimme that, bitch.
59
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,270
We gotta get
to skimboardo's asap
60
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:19,471
If we want
to get a table.
61
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:21,073
Rude.
So, what are you --
62
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,541
I'm gonna go apply
for my dream job --
63
00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:25,677
Working at the
saltwater-taffy store!
64
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,946
Huh. I had no idea
that was your dream job.
65
00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:30,482
Did you know taffy
was my favorite food?
66
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:32,150
No...
67
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,618
And did you know stores
68
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,554
Are my favorite places
that sell things?
69
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:38,690
I -- I never --
no, I guess?
70
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,093
Then I understand
your confusion.
71
00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:42,494
Bye!
72
00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:44,096
Actually,
maybe I did know
73
00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:46,899
Stores are his favorite
places that sell things.
74
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:49,234
Anyway, I'm gonna get
some dippin' dots.
75
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:50,536
I'll find you when I'm done.
76
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:56,174
Ugh. 'course I pick today
to forget my bow biters.
77
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,242
I'm gonna be tying
these puppies all day.
78
00:02:58,244 --> 00:02:59,844
Hey, pal. Are you gonna
be here for a second?
79
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,513
Do you mind keeping
an eye on my kid?
80
00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,315
I was actually just
tying my shoes.
81
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,250
Great. Thanks.
82
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:08,653
Yoooo...
83
00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:11,923
Made a sick itinerary
of my old faves.
84
00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:13,992
Only playing
the hits today.
85
00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:15,794
A full henna sleeve,
86
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:18,396
Loitering outside
the boogie-board shop,
87
00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:22,066
And I think I'll start with
some boardwalk pizza.
88
00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:23,067
Okay. See ya!
89
00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:24,803
Oh! Maybe
I'll hang with you!
90
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,339
Ooooh.
I don't know.
91
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:30,008
I kinda wanted
today to be fun.
92
00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:32,277
Wh-- what? I'm fun!
93
00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:35,013
Girl, have you heard
yourself this morning?
94
00:03:35,149 --> 00:03:37,682
You're always looking
for problems!
95
00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:40,084
And I've been waiting
20 years for this.
96
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,955
Today I'm
team good vibes only.
97
00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:44,956
Come on, mom!
Give me a chance!
98
00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:47,892
I'll be positive!
I promise!
Oh, yeah?
99
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:51,563
I've been thinking about
getting into...Fracking.
100
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:54,566
Ohh...Tight...
101
00:03:57,810 --> 00:03:59,942
Klaus: And, oh, boy,
was my dad screamin'!
102
00:03:59,944 --> 00:04:01,944
But my jaw had locked
by that point
103
00:04:01,946 --> 00:04:04,014
So I couldn't have let go
even if I wanted to.
104
00:04:04,149 --> 00:04:07,217
Enough! That story was fine
for walkin', but we're here.
105
00:04:07,352 --> 00:04:09,486
This place is buzzin'.
But I got a plan.
106
00:04:09,621 --> 00:04:13,156
We're gonna tell them we're
dining here...On business.
107
00:04:13,291 --> 00:04:15,157
Oh, ho, ho, ho!
Genius.
108
00:04:15,159 --> 00:04:19,362
Business is so important.
They'll have to respect that!
109
00:04:19,364 --> 00:04:20,630
Hi. Hello.
110
00:04:20,765 --> 00:04:23,165
My colleague and I would
like to dine here...
111
00:04:23,167 --> 00:04:24,234
On business.
112
00:04:24,369 --> 00:04:25,836
Well, we're all
booked up for months,
113
00:04:25,970 --> 00:04:27,637
But you're welcome
to sit at the bar
114
00:04:27,772 --> 00:04:29,172
And see if anything
opens up.
115
00:04:29,307 --> 00:04:31,041
Oh. Okay.
116
00:04:31,176 --> 00:04:33,776
Yeah, yeah. I hear
what you're saying.
117
00:04:33,912 --> 00:04:37,047
And what's the status
on that table...A-now?
118
00:04:37,182 --> 00:04:39,449
The status is we're
completely booked,
119
00:04:39,584 --> 00:04:41,918
But you're welcome
to wait at the bar.
120
00:04:42,721 --> 00:04:44,587
What the hell?!
The bar?!
121
00:04:44,589 --> 00:04:47,390
What, is the piss-soaked
bathroom floor already full?!
122
00:04:47,392 --> 00:04:50,460
Well, we can't leave now.
We're already a hundo in.
123
00:04:50,595 --> 00:04:53,996
Fine. But I won't be showing
any bartenders my balls!
124
00:04:54,132 --> 00:04:56,466
This restaurant has lost
that privilege!
125
00:04:56,601 --> 00:04:58,401
[ bell dings ]
126
00:04:58,403 --> 00:05:00,002
Still unstoppable!
127
00:05:00,138 --> 00:05:01,804
This must be how
tom brady felt --
128
00:05:01,940 --> 00:05:04,741
When he read the script
for "80 for brady"!
129
00:05:07,412 --> 00:05:08,745
[ bell dings ]
130
00:05:08,747 --> 00:05:11,581
Whoa!
That ties my all-time best!
131
00:05:13,151 --> 00:05:16,419
What the --
someone really got 850?!
132
00:05:16,421 --> 00:05:17,988
[ slurping ]
133
00:05:22,226 --> 00:05:23,693
[ whimpers ]
134
00:05:23,828 --> 00:05:25,227
You're fine, stan.
You're the best.
135
00:05:25,229 --> 00:05:27,764
Just slowly extract
that little worm's soul
136
00:05:27,899 --> 00:05:29,832
With these nine balls made of --
137
00:05:29,834 --> 00:05:31,233
What even is this?
138
00:05:31,235 --> 00:05:33,235
It's brown like wood,
but it's, like,
139
00:05:33,237 --> 00:05:34,904
Heavy and light
at the same time.
140
00:05:35,039 --> 00:05:37,039
Hey, what are
these balls made of?
Masonite.
141
00:05:37,175 --> 00:05:39,241
Masonite.
That's great news.
142
00:05:39,243 --> 00:05:41,745
What the hell
is masonite?!
143
00:05:43,581 --> 00:05:45,782
Your dad's
been gone a while.
144
00:05:45,784 --> 00:05:47,383
I'm steve.
What's your name?
145
00:05:47,385 --> 00:05:48,318
Noah.
146
00:05:48,453 --> 00:05:50,987
Cool.
Like noah's ark.
147
00:05:50,989 --> 00:05:54,124
Classic tale.
Very cool.
148
00:05:54,258 --> 00:05:56,058
So, what are you into
these days?
149
00:05:56,060 --> 00:05:58,595
Purple.
Hm. Yeah.
150
00:05:58,730 --> 00:06:00,530
Can I tell you a secret?
151
00:06:00,665 --> 00:06:01,531
Of course!
152
00:06:01,666 --> 00:06:03,133
But full disclosure --
153
00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:05,935
I do tell my friend
snot everything.
154
00:06:06,070 --> 00:06:09,339
Poop.
[ giggles ]
155
00:06:09,474 --> 00:06:12,809
[ inhales sharply ]
snot'll actually love that.
156
00:06:12,944 --> 00:06:14,677
[ seagulls crying ]
157
00:06:14,813 --> 00:06:16,946
I'm here to apply
for my dream job!
158
00:06:17,081 --> 00:06:19,081
Well, you're in luck.
We're short-staffed.
159
00:06:19,217 --> 00:06:20,950
And you seem
like a great guy.
160
00:06:21,085 --> 00:06:22,218
Can you start
right now?
161
00:06:22,354 --> 00:06:23,954
You bet I can!
162
00:06:24,088 --> 00:06:26,422
Mm, beautiful,
isn't she?!
163
00:06:26,424 --> 00:06:29,225
But listen. You're
gonna want to touch it.
164
00:06:29,227 --> 00:06:30,693
Don't do it.
165
00:06:30,695 --> 00:06:36,232
♪ even though
it's sooo beautiful ♪
166
00:06:36,368 --> 00:06:37,767
Come on!
167
00:06:39,171 --> 00:06:42,638
Here we go. A great apron
for a great man.
168
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:43,974
[muffled talking]
169
00:06:44,108 --> 00:06:47,177
Damn. Couldn't have
happened to a better guy.
170
00:06:49,381 --> 00:06:51,447
You gotta learn
to fold it with one hand
171
00:06:51,449 --> 00:06:54,084
So you can hold your forty
in the other.
172
00:06:56,921 --> 00:06:58,921
Mmm!
That was lucky.
173
00:06:58,923 --> 00:07:00,056
Your pizza
was on the ground,
174
00:07:00,192 --> 00:07:01,924
And no seagulls
tried to grab it.
175
00:07:01,926 --> 00:07:04,727
There actually...
Aren't any seagulls.
176
00:07:04,863 --> 00:07:06,196
That's -- that's
kinda weird, right?
177
00:07:06,331 --> 00:07:07,864
Jesus, hayley!
178
00:07:07,999 --> 00:07:11,001
You really can't help but
look for problems, can you?!
179
00:07:11,135 --> 00:07:13,536
No seagulls
is a good thing!
180
00:07:13,538 --> 00:07:16,272
Look. I can just toss
my pizza on the ground,
181
00:07:16,408 --> 00:07:18,541
Walk away...
182
00:07:18,676 --> 00:07:21,011
Walk back,
and it's still there,
183
00:07:21,145 --> 00:07:23,246
Untouched!
184
00:07:24,883 --> 00:07:27,350
A bird-less boardwalk
is the dream!
185
00:07:27,485 --> 00:07:30,420
Just accept something good
is happening!
186
00:07:30,555 --> 00:07:32,021
Mmm! Come on.
187
00:07:32,156 --> 00:07:34,891
Toss your pizza.
See how good it feels.
188
00:07:34,893 --> 00:07:38,094
Or can you not handle
team good vibes?
189
00:07:38,230 --> 00:07:41,164
'course I can! Does this
answer your question?
190
00:07:44,703 --> 00:07:46,969
Oh.
Wow. Bad.
191
00:07:46,971 --> 00:07:48,971
Nuh-unh!
I can still eat it!
192
00:07:49,107 --> 00:07:51,308
I like it sandy-style!
193
00:07:53,044 --> 00:07:55,111
Did you see all those
rats running inland?
194
00:07:55,113 --> 00:07:57,447
Well, yeah, and the seabirds
have clearly figured it out.
195
00:07:57,582 --> 00:07:58,848
They're all gone.
196
00:07:58,983 --> 00:08:01,918
Animals are smart.
They knew before we did.
197
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:03,987
A tsunami is coming.
198
00:08:05,323 --> 00:08:08,057
I wonder where all them
birds went, anyway.
199
00:08:08,192 --> 00:08:09,659
[ birds chirping ]
200
00:08:09,794 --> 00:08:11,127
It'd be foolish
201
00:08:11,263 --> 00:08:13,996
Not to carbo-load
before my big hike!
202
00:08:14,132 --> 00:08:15,932
[ seagulls cooing ]
203
00:08:16,067 --> 00:08:17,667
You got this, al.
204
00:08:17,802 --> 00:08:20,370
Don't panic. Don't panic.
205
00:08:21,673 --> 00:08:23,139
Panic!
206
00:08:23,275 --> 00:08:26,176
[ seagulls shrieking ]
[ tuttle screams ]
207
00:08:30,584 --> 00:08:33,985
Sorry.
Excuse me. Hi.
208
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,721
Did you just say...
A tsunami's coming?!
209
00:08:36,856 --> 00:08:39,323
No, I haven't said
a word in three hours.
210
00:08:39,325 --> 00:08:41,259
There we go!
I'm back in the game!
211
00:08:41,394 --> 00:08:43,527
Apparently when we
put those extra-deep,
212
00:08:43,663 --> 00:08:47,531
Extra-safe pilings
two miles into the ground...
213
00:08:47,533 --> 00:08:49,333
[ clang ]
...We accidentally
hit a fault line.
214
00:08:49,469 --> 00:08:51,269
That line runs out
under the ocean,
215
00:08:51,271 --> 00:08:53,070
Where it triggered
an earthquake,
216
00:08:53,072 --> 00:08:56,207
Creating a tidal wave
that's heading right at us.
217
00:08:56,342 --> 00:08:57,809
Great. Great.
And, um...
218
00:08:57,944 --> 00:09:00,077
I shouldn't be losing
my shit because...?
219
00:09:00,079 --> 00:09:01,813
This would only
be a big deal
220
00:09:01,948 --> 00:09:04,215
If it wasn't
totally under control.
221
00:09:04,350 --> 00:09:06,418
I've assembled the beach's
hottest lifeguards,
222
00:09:06,552 --> 00:09:09,687
And we're finalizing a plan
to diffuse the wave right now.
223
00:09:09,823 --> 00:09:11,423
So don't go
telling everybody.
224
00:09:11,557 --> 00:09:14,425
It'll just create a panic,
a needless panic.
225
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:18,762
Because everything's
gonna be totally fine.
226
00:09:18,764 --> 00:09:20,698
Totally fine, you say?
227
00:09:20,834 --> 00:09:23,435
Totally fine.
[ laughter ]
228
00:09:23,569 --> 00:09:26,904
Oh, hey, mom!
I'm loving this vibe!
229
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,641
But, um, can I talk to you
about something I just
saw real quick?
230
00:09:29,775 --> 00:09:33,110
This sounds like boardwalk
gossip! Great vibes!
231
00:09:33,112 --> 00:09:35,647
Hayley, thanks for
making such an effort
232
00:09:35,781 --> 00:09:36,914
To be cool today.
233
00:09:36,916 --> 00:09:38,249
I appreciate it.
234
00:09:38,384 --> 00:09:40,251
Anyway,
what's the board-goss?!
235
00:09:40,386 --> 00:09:44,322
Everything's gonna be totally fine.
236
00:09:44,457 --> 00:09:46,524
Totally fine, you say?
237
00:09:46,526 --> 00:09:47,925
Totally fine.
238
00:09:48,061 --> 00:09:49,927
Alright. I'm taking your word for it.
239
00:09:50,063 --> 00:09:51,729
I don't want to ruinthis moment with my mom.
240
00:09:51,865 --> 00:09:54,332
Wait. You didn't say that last part before.
241
00:09:54,467 --> 00:09:56,067
Yeah, we're workingthrough some recent stuff.
242
00:09:56,202 --> 00:09:58,269
Gotcha.
Francine: Come onnnn!
243
00:09:58,404 --> 00:10:01,605
I actually gotta go. Byyyyyyye!
244
00:10:01,607 --> 00:10:02,940
Give! Me! The goss!
245
00:10:03,076 --> 00:10:07,211
The gossip?
Um, I, uh, just saw...
246
00:10:07,347 --> 00:10:09,146
A bunch
of hot lifeguards...?
247
00:10:09,148 --> 00:10:12,216
Oh, my god!
That is good gossip!
248
00:10:12,218 --> 00:10:17,021
Lifeguards are
sooooooo hotttttttt!
249
00:10:17,423 --> 00:10:20,391
Welcome to team
good vibes, hayley!
250
00:10:22,828 --> 00:10:25,897
I gave her a hundred bucks!
How are we stuck at the bar?!
251
00:10:26,032 --> 00:10:27,431
I want my four
jager bombs
252
00:10:27,567 --> 00:10:29,167
Sitting in
a regular-sized chair
253
00:10:29,302 --> 00:10:31,703
Directly across from you --
like a gentleman!
254
00:10:31,837 --> 00:10:34,839
That's messed up, man!
Memphis, you're famous.
255
00:10:34,974 --> 00:10:36,908
Go demand a table
and bring us with you!
256
00:10:37,043 --> 00:10:38,376
I'm sorry. I don't eat.
257
00:10:38,378 --> 00:10:40,044
Use your celebrity!
No.
258
00:10:40,046 --> 00:10:43,381
Uggghhh!
You're boning us, dude!
259
00:10:43,383 --> 00:10:46,250
Whoa! These drinks
are not cheap.
260
00:10:46,252 --> 00:10:47,985
Uhp.
Forgot my credit card.
261
00:10:47,987 --> 00:10:49,253
How much cash
you got on you?
262
00:10:49,389 --> 00:10:51,322
Nada, dawg. I figured
you'd cover this
263
00:10:51,457 --> 00:10:54,058
Since I paid for the
sonicare head we both share.
264
00:10:54,193 --> 00:10:56,327
Hi, there.
Lovin' the bar.
265
00:10:56,462 --> 00:10:57,729
Beautiful space.
266
00:10:57,863 --> 00:10:59,931
Hey. Can we get a partial
refund on that bribe?
267
00:11:00,066 --> 00:11:03,368
But we definitely do
still want the next table.
268
00:11:06,806 --> 00:11:09,607
Roger, grab the tablecloth
and put it over the podium.
269
00:11:09,743 --> 00:11:11,275
We can eat here!
270
00:11:11,411 --> 00:11:14,212
I wouldn't call any of them
my "girlfriend" per se.
271
00:11:14,347 --> 00:11:17,348
But -- but all high-potential
situations, you know?
272
00:11:17,483 --> 00:11:19,617
Um, d-does that answer
your question?
273
00:11:22,688 --> 00:11:24,155
Are you hungry?
274
00:11:24,290 --> 00:11:26,558
We can't go far, but there's
a nacho stand right there.
275
00:11:26,692 --> 00:11:27,959
No way!
276
00:11:28,094 --> 00:11:29,894
My friend tommy
said nachos
277
00:11:30,029 --> 00:11:31,295
Are too spicy for me,
278
00:11:31,431 --> 00:11:33,230
And now I'm scared
to try them.
279
00:11:33,232 --> 00:11:36,367
Aw, buddy. You'll be fine.
Don't listen to tommy.
280
00:11:36,502 --> 00:11:38,302
Everyone knows
he's a [bleep] suckin'
281
00:11:38,304 --> 00:11:40,972
Mother [bleep] [bleep]
dip [bleep] stinky pants.
282
00:11:41,107 --> 00:11:42,240
[ giggles ]
283
00:11:42,375 --> 00:11:44,175
I'll even take
the first bite
284
00:11:44,310 --> 00:11:45,443
Just to make sure.
285
00:11:45,578 --> 00:11:47,044
Hmm...
286
00:11:47,046 --> 00:11:48,112
Okay!
287
00:11:48,114 --> 00:11:49,514
Attaboy!
288
00:11:51,050 --> 00:11:52,850
I may also grab
a pretzel.
289
00:11:52,852 --> 00:11:56,454
Or has tommy been running his
mouth about those, too? Noah?
290
00:11:56,589 --> 00:11:57,989
N-noah?!
291
00:11:58,124 --> 00:12:01,392
Noah?! Noaaaahhh?!
292
00:12:01,527 --> 00:12:05,029
Oh! Oh, thank god!
There you are!
293
00:12:05,932 --> 00:12:07,532
Never do that
to me again!
294
00:12:08,601 --> 00:12:11,469
I'm sorry.
You just scared me.
295
00:12:11,604 --> 00:12:13,605
Oh, thank god.
296
00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:17,208
[ bell dings ]
how am I getting worse?!
297
00:12:17,343 --> 00:12:18,810
I'm never gonna catch him.
298
00:12:18,944 --> 00:12:21,012
I gotta do something!
299
00:12:21,147 --> 00:12:22,313
Of course!
300
00:12:23,749 --> 00:12:25,183
[ pen clicks ]
301
00:12:26,219 --> 00:12:28,352
Welp.
Looks like you win.
302
00:12:28,354 --> 00:12:31,556
Just wanted to say
congrat-- what's this?!
303
00:12:32,625 --> 00:12:33,825
Oh, my god!
304
00:12:33,959 --> 00:12:35,827
Look what just fell out
of this kid's pocket!
305
00:12:35,962 --> 00:12:37,829
Schematics for 9/11!
306
00:12:37,963 --> 00:12:39,963
This kid
helped plan 9/11!
307
00:12:39,965 --> 00:12:42,233
Um, I wasn't alive
for 9/11.
308
00:12:42,368 --> 00:12:44,101
You don't need to call
the cops or anything.
309
00:12:44,103 --> 00:12:45,769
I believe
in second chances.
310
00:12:45,771 --> 00:12:48,239
But you do need to
disqualify all his scores!
311
00:12:48,374 --> 00:12:50,908
Sir! Before I do anything,
you're gonna have to
312
00:12:50,910 --> 00:12:52,643
Explain to me
what 9/11 is.
313
00:12:52,778 --> 00:12:54,646
We're crushing
this day, hayles!
314
00:12:54,780 --> 00:12:56,714
After this, we'll head
down to the beach,
315
00:12:56,850 --> 00:13:00,584
Blast some eminem real loud,
and smoke salvia right next
316
00:13:00,586 --> 00:13:03,054
To a family with
a bunch of little kids.
317
00:13:03,189 --> 00:13:06,724
Yeah.
Sounds, um, perfect.
318
00:13:06,726 --> 00:13:07,992
[ rats squeaking ]
319
00:13:08,127 --> 00:13:10,594
I, um, just remembered
320
00:13:10,730 --> 00:13:13,597
I left my can of dip
on the back of the crapper.
321
00:13:13,599 --> 00:13:14,766
Be right back!
322
00:13:16,269 --> 00:13:19,537
Oh! Good! You actually
do have a plan!
323
00:13:19,539 --> 00:13:20,872
We have
the tightest plan.
324
00:13:21,007 --> 00:13:22,273
These backpacks
have dynamite
325
00:13:22,408 --> 00:13:24,075
Left over from the
boardwalk construction.
326
00:13:24,210 --> 00:13:26,009
We're gonna cruise out,
drop it,
327
00:13:26,011 --> 00:13:28,412
And trigger
a "retaliatory wave,"
328
00:13:28,414 --> 00:13:31,815
Resulting
in zero net waves!
329
00:13:31,951 --> 00:13:33,617
Tsunami neutralized.
330
00:13:33,619 --> 00:13:36,754
And I'll be smokin' these dudes
at mini golf by sunset.
331
00:13:36,756 --> 00:13:40,424
I'm uh, not sure that's
how water works.
332
00:13:40,426 --> 00:13:43,160
Well, this is the plan,
and we only got time for one,
333
00:13:43,162 --> 00:13:45,429
So how about some
good vibes, lady?
334
00:13:45,565 --> 00:13:47,965
It'll work.
Watch for yourself.
335
00:13:48,101 --> 00:13:50,234
Hot lifeguards!
Mount up!
336
00:13:50,369 --> 00:13:52,970
Everyone got
your red things?!
337
00:13:52,972 --> 00:13:55,106
[ all cheer ]
338
00:13:55,241 --> 00:14:00,912
♪♪
339
00:14:01,046 --> 00:14:02,980
[ engines revving ]
340
00:14:03,116 --> 00:14:06,084
♪♪
341
00:14:10,590 --> 00:14:13,657
Help! Throw me
your red thing!
342
00:14:13,793 --> 00:14:15,659
[ sizzling ]
343
00:14:15,661 --> 00:14:16,594
Good catch!
344
00:14:16,729 --> 00:14:18,363
Wrong red thing!
345
00:14:22,402 --> 00:14:24,535
Eee!
[ water splashes ]
346
00:14:28,874 --> 00:14:31,275
[ whale moans ]
347
00:14:31,410 --> 00:14:33,277
We're all screwed.
348
00:14:34,347 --> 00:14:36,481
Hey. Do I have
kettle corn in my teeth?
349
00:14:38,751 --> 00:14:40,718
Sweet. Thanks.
350
00:14:43,822 --> 00:14:45,356
[ camera shutter clicks ]
just to be clear,
351
00:14:45,491 --> 00:14:46,691
You're gonna airbrush this
352
00:14:46,826 --> 00:14:49,360
So I have a big ol'
fat ass, right?
353
00:14:49,495 --> 00:14:50,427
Mom!
354
00:14:50,429 --> 00:14:51,696
What's with
the face?
355
00:14:51,831 --> 00:14:54,298
I thought you were
being positive today.
356
00:14:54,433 --> 00:14:56,767
Oh, I'm positive.
Real positive...
357
00:14:56,769 --> 00:14:58,235
That we're all [bleep]!
358
00:14:58,237 --> 00:15:00,037
The entire boardwalk's
about to get wiped out
359
00:15:00,172 --> 00:15:01,572
By a tsunami!
360
00:15:01,574 --> 00:15:04,175
You see that huge-ass wave,
team good vibes?!
361
00:15:06,179 --> 00:15:08,779
Dear god.
362
00:15:08,915 --> 00:15:10,181
Run!!
363
00:15:10,316 --> 00:15:12,316
Hey! You need to pay
for these!
364
00:15:12,451 --> 00:15:14,318
This is why we should
get the money up front!
365
00:15:14,453 --> 00:15:16,921
I can't believe you got
assistant manager over me.
366
00:15:17,056 --> 00:15:20,591
[ chuckles nervously ] boss!
I didn't see you there!
367
00:15:20,593 --> 00:15:23,527
[ laughter ]
run for your lives!
368
00:15:23,662 --> 00:15:25,863
Tsunami!
369
00:15:26,532 --> 00:15:28,799
[slurring] ladies!
You can relax.
370
00:15:28,801 --> 00:15:31,268
We can relax because we were
wrong about the tsunami?
371
00:15:31,270 --> 00:15:33,604
No, no, no, no.
One's definitely coming.
372
00:15:33,740 --> 00:15:36,741
The super-low tide
is a dead giveaway.
373
00:15:36,875 --> 00:15:39,610
You can relax because
when the warning signs
374
00:15:39,612 --> 00:15:42,279
Are this obvious,
it's too late to get away.
375
00:15:42,281 --> 00:15:45,216
There's no outrunning it
at this point.
376
00:15:46,352 --> 00:15:47,418
My advice?
377
00:15:47,553 --> 00:15:49,620
Use what little time
you have left
378
00:15:49,756 --> 00:15:52,423
Saying goodbye
to the ones you love.
379
00:15:52,558 --> 00:15:55,660
Am I one of
those people...?
380
00:15:58,030 --> 00:16:00,498
[ wave roaring ]
381
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:03,167
Honey, we have
horrible news!
382
00:16:03,302 --> 00:16:04,635
Ha!
The day I've had,
383
00:16:04,771 --> 00:16:06,571
You don't even know
what horrible news is.
384
00:16:06,705 --> 00:16:08,639
A tsunami's about to
take out the boardwalk,
385
00:16:08,775 --> 00:16:10,641
And it's too late
to get away.
386
00:16:10,777 --> 00:16:12,242
We're goners.
387
00:16:12,244 --> 00:16:14,245
That'll short out
these machines, right?
388
00:16:14,380 --> 00:16:15,512
Wipe out
all the scores?
389
00:16:15,648 --> 00:16:17,648
Yeah, I mean,
it'll wipe out
390
00:16:17,784 --> 00:16:20,117
Everything and everyone
on this boardwalk.
391
00:16:20,252 --> 00:16:21,452
Including
that kid.
392
00:16:21,454 --> 00:16:23,520
And we'd all die
tied at zero.
393
00:16:23,656 --> 00:16:25,389
If it's god's will,
it's god's will.
394
00:16:25,524 --> 00:16:27,725
Who am I
to question it?
395
00:16:28,995 --> 00:16:31,896
Stan: See ya in purgatory,
bitch ass.
396
00:16:32,999 --> 00:16:35,266
[ wave roaring ]
397
00:16:35,401 --> 00:16:36,533
And we're all doomed.
398
00:16:36,535 --> 00:16:38,002
[ gasps ]
this isn't fair!
399
00:16:38,137 --> 00:16:40,404
We should have so much
more time together!
400
00:16:40,539 --> 00:16:42,339
I know, sweetie.
401
00:16:42,341 --> 00:16:44,809
It's not supposed to
happen this way!
402
00:16:44,944 --> 00:16:47,011
You're supposed to
outlive me...
403
00:16:47,146 --> 00:16:50,414
And sing "candle in the wind"
at my funeral!
404
00:16:50,549 --> 00:16:52,917
You're not going out
like this!
405
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:58,022
This is my will. Give it
to whoever finds you.
406
00:16:58,157 --> 00:17:01,025
You get it all...
Son.
407
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,428
Raising you today has been
the greatest honor of my life.
408
00:17:05,031 --> 00:17:07,632
[ wave roaring ]
409
00:17:09,302 --> 00:17:11,969
I'm sorry. I never
should've attacked you
410
00:17:12,104 --> 00:17:15,906
For being negative or
asked you not to be yourself.
411
00:17:15,908 --> 00:17:19,309
Turns out you have pretty
good survival instincts.
412
00:17:19,311 --> 00:17:20,645
Thanks, mom.
It's just...
413
00:17:20,779 --> 00:17:23,380
My time on the boardwalk
20 years ago
414
00:17:23,516 --> 00:17:25,916
Was the best weekend
of my life!
415
00:17:26,052 --> 00:17:29,520
Wait. This was all based
on one weekend?!
416
00:17:29,655 --> 00:17:32,322
Geez. Sorry I didn't
live at the beach.
417
00:17:32,324 --> 00:17:33,524
I'm not a starfish.
418
00:17:33,659 --> 00:17:36,126
Anyway, maybe I need
to be more selective
419
00:17:36,128 --> 00:17:37,461
In calling out
problems.
420
00:17:37,596 --> 00:17:39,129
But they do come along,
421
00:17:39,131 --> 00:17:42,599
And if you don't see them,
you can't find solutions.
422
00:17:42,601 --> 00:17:45,135
And we've got
a big problem...
423
00:17:45,137 --> 00:17:47,137
And zero solutions.
424
00:17:47,139 --> 00:17:49,606
[ muffled shouts ]
babe?!
What happened?
425
00:17:49,742 --> 00:17:51,008
Actually,
we don't have time.
426
00:17:51,143 --> 00:17:52,543
Tell me later when
we're drowning to death.
427
00:17:52,545 --> 00:17:54,478
[ grunting ]
[ muffled shouts ]
428
00:17:54,613 --> 00:17:56,881
Wow!
This taffy won't budge!
429
00:17:57,016 --> 00:17:58,415
[ muffled shouts ]
430
00:17:58,417 --> 00:18:00,918
[ all grunting ]
431
00:18:04,490 --> 00:18:07,558
This stuff's strong!
432
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,894
[ wave roaring ]
433
00:18:10,029 --> 00:18:12,096
Problem...Solution!
434
00:18:12,231 --> 00:18:13,830
Keep pulling.
435
00:18:13,966 --> 00:18:15,165
We're gonna stretch this all
the way down the boardwalk
436
00:18:15,301 --> 00:18:16,901
And make
a delicious barrier!
437
00:18:17,036 --> 00:18:18,235
[ all grunting ]
438
00:18:18,237 --> 00:18:19,904
This'll take forever!
439
00:18:20,039 --> 00:18:22,907
Need a hand...From
pro wrestling illustrated's
440
00:18:23,041 --> 00:18:26,443
"most inspirational
wrestler" of 1994?!
441
00:18:26,445 --> 00:18:28,913
[ bret hart grunting ]
442
00:18:29,048 --> 00:18:31,115
[ all grunting ]
443
00:18:31,250 --> 00:18:33,517
[ indistinct shouting ]
444
00:18:33,652 --> 00:18:36,053
[ wave roaring ]
445
00:18:36,855 --> 00:18:38,589
Check out all those
empty tables!
446
00:18:38,724 --> 00:18:40,925
Finally
we catch a break!
447
00:18:41,059 --> 00:18:41,959
Shall we?
448
00:18:42,861 --> 00:18:46,196
Ahh!
The promised land!
449
00:18:46,332 --> 00:18:47,932
I feel so important!
450
00:18:48,066 --> 00:18:49,266
I'm sorry.
451
00:18:49,268 --> 00:18:51,668
We're actually gonna
be needing that table.
452
00:18:51,670 --> 00:18:52,937
What?!
Everyone left!
453
00:18:53,072 --> 00:18:55,139
And this place is
about to be driftwood!
454
00:18:55,274 --> 00:18:57,274
Yeah, but we're
expecting a big group
455
00:18:57,409 --> 00:18:59,343
Between now
and then, so...
456
00:18:59,478 --> 00:19:01,211
You're welcome to keep
waiting at the bar,
457
00:19:01,347 --> 00:19:02,746
Or run for your lives...
458
00:19:02,881 --> 00:19:04,749
Oh, you'd just love that,
wouldn't you?!
459
00:19:04,883 --> 00:19:06,683
You've been trying
to shake us all day!
460
00:19:06,819 --> 00:19:09,086
But you must have us confused
for some suckers!
461
00:19:09,221 --> 00:19:12,088
So we'll be waiting out
the incoming tsunami at the bar,
462
00:19:12,090 --> 00:19:13,557
Thank you very much.
463
00:19:13,692 --> 00:19:15,492
And we will be
checking back in with you
464
00:19:15,628 --> 00:19:17,328
If either of us survive.
465
00:19:19,298 --> 00:19:22,766
I know you don't want to
hear this right now, but...
466
00:19:22,901 --> 00:19:24,901
I did
bring my wallet.
467
00:19:25,037 --> 00:19:28,705
[ wave roaring ]
468
00:19:28,841 --> 00:19:30,907
[ creaking ]
how sure are you
469
00:19:30,909 --> 00:19:32,843
This thing will
actually work, hayley?!
470
00:19:32,979 --> 00:19:36,981
Not at all! But how about
some good vibes, mom?!
471
00:19:37,116 --> 00:19:39,784
[ wave roaring ]
472
00:19:39,918 --> 00:19:42,252
♪♪
473
00:19:42,388 --> 00:19:43,854
[ creaking ]
474
00:19:43,856 --> 00:19:51,362
♪♪
475
00:19:53,199 --> 00:19:55,199
It worked!
Hallelujah!
476
00:19:55,334 --> 00:19:56,867
Oh, no!
My skee-ball problem!
477
00:19:57,003 --> 00:20:00,404
Saving hundreds of lives?
Great vibes, hayles.
478
00:20:00,539 --> 00:20:01,705
Thanks, mom.
479
00:20:03,275 --> 00:20:05,409
Noah! My baby!
There you are!
480
00:20:05,544 --> 00:20:06,943
Thanks for keeping
an eye on him.
481
00:20:07,079 --> 00:20:09,546
His dad forgot he had
softball this afternoon.
482
00:20:09,548 --> 00:20:11,748
High-school softball.
He watches it.
483
00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:13,818
What a day
we had, noah!
484
00:20:13,952 --> 00:20:16,086
But it's time to go
back to your family.
485
00:20:16,222 --> 00:20:18,488
I'll always cherish
our time together.
486
00:20:18,490 --> 00:20:21,625
Hey, creep!
Stay away from my kid!
487
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,028
You'll always be
in my heart, noah!
488
00:20:24,162 --> 00:20:26,163
Let's get the hell
out of here.
489
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:29,366
Francine:
What about jeff?
490
00:20:29,368 --> 00:20:31,035
Hayley: Eh, seagulls are back.
They're on it.
491
00:20:31,169 --> 00:20:33,237
[ seagulls crying ]
[ muffled shouting ]
492
00:20:33,372 --> 00:20:42,913
♪♪
493
00:20:42,915 --> 00:20:45,982
[ speaking
french ]
494
00:20:46,118 --> 00:20:48,018
[ wave roaring ]
495
00:20:54,860 --> 00:20:56,794
[ ominous music plays ]
496
00:20:58,330 --> 00:21:00,064
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
35591
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