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1
00:00:02,269 --> 00:00:03,802
Is the new stove
coming today?
2
00:00:03,938 --> 00:00:05,604
Is it stove day?!
3
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:07,339
Merry stove day, jeff!
4
00:00:07,474 --> 00:00:09,742
And we're not getting
just any old stove.
5
00:00:09,876 --> 00:00:14,613
Le bon chaud is the fanciest
french stove money can buy.
6
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:16,014
Ooh la la.
7
00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,549
You've heard of
"emily in paris,"
8
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,952
But have you heard of
"steve in an apron"?
9
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:22,220
Did someone order
a new stove?!
10
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,757
That cheap piece of crap's
not le bon chaud.
11
00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:27,892
That european stove
you wanted was way overpriced.
12
00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:29,427
What the hell, dad?
13
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:31,363
I invited nerfer over
to make scrambled eggs.
14
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:33,565
I'm gonna look like
a damn fool!
15
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,699
[ hissing ]
16
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:38,370
Does anyone else
hear a loud hiss?
17
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:41,373
Obviously just a stove snake.
Calm down.
18
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,308
Huh. That hose
shouldn't be there.
19
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,110
[ hissing intensifies ]
20
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:47,346
[ grunting ]
21
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:51,350
[ flapping ]
22
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:55,920
[ cellphone beeps ]
23
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,189
Hey, candace.
24
00:00:57,324 --> 00:00:59,057
Yep, stan bought
another appliance.
25
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,061
Better send the big ambulance.
It's the whole family this time.
26
00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:07,732
♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪
27
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:11,470
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
28
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:14,673
♪ the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
29
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:19,311
♪ and he's shinin' a salute
to the american race ♪
30
00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:24,416
♪ oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
31
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,885
♪ good -- ♪
♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪
32
00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:28,153
Aah!
33
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:32,224
♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪
34
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,959
♪♪
35
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,495
You are all
very lucky.
36
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:39,031
I have never,
in my entire career as a doctor,
37
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:41,966
Seen a family this severely
deprived of oxygen.
38
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,368
First day being a doctor,
39
00:01:43,503 --> 00:01:44,769
So I've been saying
stuff like that a lot.
40
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:48,040
Okay, smiths,
time for your diagnosis.
41
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:49,842
You're all going to...
42
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:51,175
Live!
43
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,310
[ all sigh ]
44
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:55,047
Wow.
We almost died.
45
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,516
Yeah, really puts things
in perspective.
46
00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:00,719
We need to start living
our lives to the fullest
47
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:03,121
And do all the things
that we've been putting off.
48
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:05,590
I've always wanted to try
the tiny tacos
49
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,926
From jack in the box,
and you know what?
50
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,461
I'm gonna go for it!
51
00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:12,064
I'm finally gonna start
wearing low-rise jeans,
52
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:14,533
Even though barry says
I don't have the ass for it.
53
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:17,536
My whole life
I've had a dream.
54
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:22,006
It has captivated my imagination
and enthralled me,
55
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,343
But it has also frightened me.
56
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,813
Everest --
the highest peak on earth.
57
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:32,216
The ultimate test
of human will.
58
00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:34,419
Many have died trying,
59
00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:36,488
But those who reach the summit
60
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:39,424
Have achieved true greatness.
61
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:42,560
As mountaineer
sir edmund hillary said,
62
00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:46,565
"it's not the mountain
we conquer, but ourselves."
63
00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:49,434
Hmm.
Mine sounds stupid now.
64
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:51,703
I wanna do
mom's thing.
Yeah, me too.
65
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,371
I wanna get super high!
66
00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:56,040
This family is going
to conquer mount everest!
67
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:57,509
[ all cheering ]
68
00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,577
In that case,
I'd better write you
69
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,847
A prescription
for adventure!
70
00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:07,051
Isn't it wonderful
how things work out?
71
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,720
You need to book a trip,
72
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:12,324
And it's the grand opening
of my travel agency.
73
00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:14,192
Can I offer you a water?
Coffee?
74
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:16,060
Maybe a glass
of champagne?
75
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,395
Lovely.
I'll take all three.
76
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:18,797
You called my bluff.
77
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,665
I don't have
any of those beverages.
78
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:24,268
But what I can offer you
is the trip of a lifetime.
79
00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:25,937
I've done my research,
80
00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:28,607
And here's what
an everest climb package costs.
81
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,609
Wow. That's a lot,
but I could work some overtime
82
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,678
And maybe look into starting
an onlyfans account,
83
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,413
Obviously just tasteful
solo stuff.
84
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:38,282
That's the per-person charge.
85
00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:40,885
This is
the whole enchilada.
86
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:43,287
That enchilada is
too many tamales!
87
00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:45,690
Don't panic,
klaus has an alternative.
88
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,692
Oh, thank goodness.
What is it?
89
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:50,495
Zorbing --
sport of the future.
90
00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:52,096
Klaus, focus.
91
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,699
Maybe there's a more affordable
mountain we could climb?
92
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:58,503
This mount chimborazo
is really cheap.
93
00:03:58,505 --> 00:03:59,771
Not sure I can recommend --
94
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,506
Chimborazo it is!
95
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:02,974
[ chuckles ]
oho!
96
00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:05,710
It says here that
because of the equatorial bulge,
97
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,780
The summit of chimborazo
is actually the closest point
98
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,382
On earth to the sun.
99
00:04:10,517 --> 00:04:12,584
Of course!
The equatorial bulge.
100
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:15,520
That's super,
because I'm an og bulge boy.
101
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,789
Ride or die.
Bulge boys, mount up!
102
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:20,692
And I ain't exactly complaining
about the proximity to the sun.
103
00:04:25,286 --> 00:04:26,953
Why are we flying
on air ecuador?
104
00:04:27,087 --> 00:04:29,688
Air ecuador doesn't only
fly to ecuador.
105
00:04:29,690 --> 00:04:32,491
Like how southwest doesn't
only fly to the southwest.
106
00:04:32,627 --> 00:04:34,761
And virgin air doesn't
just fly to your bedroom.
107
00:04:34,895 --> 00:04:36,495
Boom!
108
00:04:36,497 --> 00:04:38,897
I am not feeling
my look today.
109
00:04:39,033 --> 00:04:40,433
Do you ever walk out
of the house
110
00:04:40,568 --> 00:04:41,768
And realize you look like
an idiot?
111
00:04:41,902 --> 00:04:44,370
I mean,
this guy knows how I feel.
112
00:04:45,573 --> 00:04:46,705
You still haven't told
the family
113
00:04:46,841 --> 00:04:48,574
They're not going
to everest?
114
00:04:48,709 --> 00:04:50,442
I'm waiting for
the perfect moment.
115
00:04:50,444 --> 00:04:51,577
I'm thinking
right at the summit.
116
00:04:51,712 --> 00:04:52,845
Well, good luck
with that.
117
00:04:52,981 --> 00:04:54,380
I'm gonna go
hit on divorcées
118
00:04:54,515 --> 00:04:55,782
In the glass-walled
smoking section
119
00:04:55,916 --> 00:04:57,884
That looks like
a futuristic prison.
120
00:05:00,521 --> 00:05:02,388
Well, I somehow made it
even worse.
121
00:05:02,523 --> 00:05:03,722
I am pumped for this.
122
00:05:03,858 --> 00:05:05,191
I mean, it's everest!
123
00:05:05,326 --> 00:05:06,792
Nothing else can compare.
124
00:05:06,927 --> 00:05:09,128
Technically, everything
can be compared.
125
00:05:09,263 --> 00:05:11,129
That's how comparing
works!
126
00:05:11,131 --> 00:05:13,465
Have you noticed that dad's
acting a little weird?
127
00:05:13,467 --> 00:05:14,800
Watch this.
128
00:05:14,935 --> 00:05:16,669
I sure am excited
to climb everest.
129
00:05:16,804 --> 00:05:18,537
It's cool to be
up really high,
130
00:05:18,673 --> 00:05:20,272
But it's more important,
at least to me,
131
00:05:20,408 --> 00:05:22,008
To be close to the sun.
132
00:05:22,143 --> 00:05:24,143
Dad, why do you keep
talking about the sun?
133
00:05:24,278 --> 00:05:25,544
I'm not doing that.
134
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,145
Hey, switching subjects,
did you know that
135
00:05:27,147 --> 00:05:29,682
One million earths
would fit inside the sun?
136
00:05:29,817 --> 00:05:32,284
Stan, what the hell
is going on?!
137
00:05:32,286 --> 00:05:34,086
We're going to everest, right?
138
00:05:34,222 --> 00:05:35,788
Klaus?
139
00:05:37,558 --> 00:05:39,358
Well, I was gonna
wait for the summit,
140
00:05:39,493 --> 00:05:40,893
But you ruined
my surprise.
141
00:05:41,029 --> 00:05:43,896
We are going to
mount chimborazo!
142
00:05:43,898 --> 00:05:47,099
Waah! Aah-aah!
And the crowd goes wild!
143
00:05:47,101 --> 00:05:50,703
Stan!
I wanted to go to everest!
144
00:05:50,705 --> 00:05:53,839
I wanted to stand
on the highest point.
145
00:05:53,974 --> 00:05:55,774
If you talk about the sun
one more time,
146
00:05:55,910 --> 00:05:57,243
I will cut
your tongue out!
147
00:05:57,378 --> 00:05:59,445
We almost died
148
00:05:59,580 --> 00:06:02,114
And vowed to live life
to the fullest,
149
00:06:02,116 --> 00:06:05,651
And you bring us
to mount chin-beard-rat-turd!
150
00:06:05,786 --> 00:06:08,320
Was it the money,
you damn cheapskate?!
151
00:06:08,322 --> 00:06:11,123
[ all complaining ]
152
00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:12,858
Stan: All I wanted was to get my family
153
00:06:12,993 --> 00:06:15,728
Close to the sun on a budget.
154
00:06:15,730 --> 00:06:17,663
I don't understand why they're so mad.
155
00:06:17,798 --> 00:06:19,532
I almost suspect they're unfamiliar
156
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:21,400
With the equatorial bulge.
157
00:06:21,535 --> 00:06:25,671
♪♪
158
00:06:25,806 --> 00:06:27,073
We should probably
hit the sack.
159
00:06:27,208 --> 00:06:28,875
Gotta get up early
for our big climb!
160
00:06:29,009 --> 00:06:31,944
We're not climbing
that dinky little mountain.
161
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,146
Come on, kids.
Let's go get drunk.
162
00:06:34,148 --> 00:06:37,483
Khole phep.
That's "bye, felicia" in sherpa.
163
00:06:37,618 --> 00:06:39,218
Which I learned
for nothing!
164
00:06:39,353 --> 00:06:40,686
[ door slams ]
165
00:06:40,821 --> 00:06:43,355
Everyone is being so mean to me
about chimborazo.
166
00:06:44,224 --> 00:06:46,892
Stan, we can still
turn this trip around.
167
00:06:47,027 --> 00:06:50,963
I took it upon myself to book
you all a 5:00 a.M. Zorb.
168
00:06:52,232 --> 00:06:55,567
[ muffled ] someone has
forgotten what zorbing is!
169
00:06:55,569 --> 00:06:58,771
[ plays upbeat song ]
170
00:06:58,906 --> 00:07:00,506
What's with this music?
171
00:07:00,641 --> 00:07:03,442
Would it kill this dude
to play some alice in chains?
172
00:07:03,577 --> 00:07:08,247
[ chuckles ] another round of
drinks for our foreign visitors.
173
00:07:08,382 --> 00:07:12,584
And I also made
little paintings of each of you.
174
00:07:12,586 --> 00:07:14,987
A souvenir of your trip.
175
00:07:14,989 --> 00:07:17,723
My god! How do we get rid
of this dingleberry?
176
00:07:17,858 --> 00:07:20,326
I don't know.
He's kinda got a cool style.
177
00:07:20,461 --> 00:07:21,794
If you need anything else,
178
00:07:21,929 --> 00:07:24,262
Don't hesitate
to call my name --
179
00:07:24,264 --> 00:07:26,132
Vicente.
180
00:07:27,267 --> 00:07:29,335
Are we really gonna
climb this lame-ass mountain?
181
00:07:29,470 --> 00:07:33,806
Oh, no! You cannot climb
chimborazo this time of year.
182
00:07:33,941 --> 00:07:37,743
Very dangerous.
Certain death!
183
00:07:38,212 --> 00:07:41,680
Stan, did you know
this mountain was a death trap?
184
00:07:41,682 --> 00:07:42,748
Stan's gone.
185
00:07:42,883 --> 00:07:44,616
A few hours ago,
he up and left,
186
00:07:44,618 --> 00:07:45,952
Mumbling,
"screw the family.
187
00:07:46,086 --> 00:07:48,687
I'm gonna climb chimborazo
on my own."
188
00:07:48,823 --> 00:07:50,022
[ family gasps ]
189
00:07:50,024 --> 00:07:52,224
We must go after
your father
190
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,628
And find him before he meets
his death on the mountain.
191
00:07:55,763 --> 00:07:57,496
Prepare yourself
for the climb.
192
00:07:57,631 --> 00:07:59,431
We leave at dawn.
193
00:07:59,567 --> 00:08:01,033
Let's just leave now.
194
00:08:01,169 --> 00:08:04,036
I hate going to bed, then
having to get up all groggy.
195
00:08:04,038 --> 00:08:05,771
Yeah, well...
I totally agree.
196
00:08:05,906 --> 00:08:08,040
No, we leave at dawn.
197
00:08:08,042 --> 00:08:12,911
Dawn is when you leave
to climb a mountain, jeff.
198
00:08:12,913 --> 00:08:14,847
Vicente knows my name!
199
00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:20,400
Ow!
Hey, vicente,
200
00:08:20,535 --> 00:08:23,135
Are you getting a lot of rocks
in your sandals?
201
00:08:23,137 --> 00:08:25,205
Ugh.
Yeah, me neither.
202
00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:28,341
I'm so annoyed
your dumb father's climbing
203
00:08:28,476 --> 00:08:30,142
This stump of a mountain.
204
00:08:30,144 --> 00:08:33,346
You know, technically because
of the equatorial bulge --
205
00:08:33,481 --> 00:08:36,850
[ screaming ]
shut up!
206
00:08:39,754 --> 00:08:41,021
Hey, I'm thirsty.
207
00:08:41,155 --> 00:08:42,422
Did anybody bring
any water?
208
00:08:42,557 --> 00:08:44,024
Not to worry.
209
00:08:44,158 --> 00:08:46,426
Chimborazo has
many treats for travelers.
210
00:08:46,561 --> 00:08:50,030
But watch out because
sometimes the travelers
211
00:08:50,164 --> 00:08:52,165
Become the treats.
212
00:08:53,035 --> 00:08:56,168
Whoa!
Can I keep this knife?
213
00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:57,137
No.
214
00:08:58,707 --> 00:09:00,240
Ah.
215
00:09:00,375 --> 00:09:02,775
Eh, I prefer
grapefruit le croix.
216
00:09:02,911 --> 00:09:05,045
Because of
the volcanic activity below
217
00:09:05,180 --> 00:09:08,715
And the grapefruit orchard
above, this stream...
218
00:09:08,717 --> 00:09:10,583
Tastes just like
grapefruit le croix.
219
00:09:10,585 --> 00:09:13,253
Call me when you have
a sierra mist river.
220
00:09:13,388 --> 00:09:16,056
[ as vicente ] chimborazo --
she is a dangerous slut.
221
00:09:16,191 --> 00:09:17,924
Jeff, watch out!
[ screams ]
222
00:09:18,060 --> 00:09:20,727
Sorry. I thought that tree
behind you was a monster.
223
00:09:20,862 --> 00:09:21,928
Can I have this knife?
224
00:09:22,064 --> 00:09:23,063
[ normal voice ]
no, man.
225
00:09:23,198 --> 00:09:25,732
It's not, like,
free knife day.
226
00:09:25,734 --> 00:09:29,402
I recently guided an artist
from pixar up the mountain.
227
00:09:29,537 --> 00:09:33,606
He was thinking of setting the
next pixar movie on chimborazo.
228
00:09:33,608 --> 00:09:36,276
About a country alpaca
that moves down the mountains
229
00:09:36,411 --> 00:09:39,946
And gets bullied
by a bunch of mean city alpacas.
230
00:09:39,948 --> 00:09:42,282
"I'll-pack-a" pillow
to that movie,
231
00:09:42,417 --> 00:09:44,951
Because it sounds like
a snooze.
232
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:49,355
[ tires screech ]
233
00:09:49,357 --> 00:09:50,957
[ bell jingles ]
234
00:09:51,093 --> 00:09:54,160
Hello, esmeralda.
Klaus heisler.
235
00:09:54,162 --> 00:09:59,099
I need to cancel all seven of
the zorb sessions that I booked.
236
00:09:59,234 --> 00:10:00,633
I'm sorry.
237
00:10:00,635 --> 00:10:03,770
You booked our non-refundable
zorb experiences.
238
00:10:03,772 --> 00:10:05,371
I can offer you a credit.
239
00:10:05,507 --> 00:10:08,174
You could use it toward
a helicopter tour or a --
240
00:10:08,176 --> 00:10:09,576
Look, hon,
you're not dealing with
241
00:10:09,711 --> 00:10:10,843
Some tourist schmuck.
242
00:10:10,979 --> 00:10:12,845
I'm a travel agent.
243
00:10:12,847 --> 00:10:14,246
You seem like
a tourist schmuck.
244
00:10:14,248 --> 00:10:16,048
I just told you
I wasn't one of those!
245
00:10:16,184 --> 00:10:18,918
Okay, that's it.
Let's settle this like adults.
246
00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:20,987
Adults inside zorbs.
247
00:10:21,123 --> 00:10:23,256
I challenge you
to a zorb fight.
248
00:10:23,391 --> 00:10:24,724
I accept.
249
00:10:24,859 --> 00:10:27,460
But only because I feel like
humiliating a fish today.
250
00:10:27,595 --> 00:10:29,796
Joke's on you.
251
00:10:29,798 --> 00:10:31,197
Being humiliated
by a beautiful woman
252
00:10:31,333 --> 00:10:34,534
Is a huge turn-on for me.
253
00:10:35,270 --> 00:10:38,138
Well, sure, this view is
a little magnificent, I guess.
254
00:10:38,272 --> 00:10:40,740
Yeah, and I have to say
I didn't mind
255
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:43,943
That meadow back there that
smelled like fresh waffles.
256
00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:46,746
Family meeting right now.
I know what's happening.
257
00:10:46,881 --> 00:10:48,881
You're starting
to have a good time.
258
00:10:48,883 --> 00:10:50,150
Well, knock it off.
259
00:10:50,285 --> 00:10:52,152
Climbing everest
was the dream
260
00:10:52,287 --> 00:10:55,621
And yet your father brought us
to chimbo-crapo.
261
00:10:55,623 --> 00:10:57,690
Right, dad always does stuff
like this
262
00:10:57,692 --> 00:11:00,626
And we start having fun
and let him off the hook.
263
00:11:00,628 --> 00:11:02,695
But not this time,
capeesh?
264
00:11:02,697 --> 00:11:05,498
Ooh, I could go for a capeesh
right now.
265
00:11:05,633 --> 00:11:08,168
Hungry? The mountain,
she provides.
266
00:11:08,302 --> 00:11:10,636
This whole mountain
is edible.
267
00:11:10,638 --> 00:11:11,904
Mm.
268
00:11:11,906 --> 00:11:13,473
Nope.
That's just dirt.
269
00:11:17,646 --> 00:11:19,445
How is it?
Bad, right?
270
00:11:19,581 --> 00:11:23,049
Yeah. Unless you're
into perfectly cooked
271
00:11:23,051 --> 00:11:26,719
And seasoned meat
that melts in your mouth.
272
00:11:26,721 --> 00:11:28,188
[ chitters ]
273
00:11:28,322 --> 00:11:30,923
Oh, a cute, little monkey.
274
00:11:31,059 --> 00:11:32,925
I think it looks like
richard nixon.
275
00:11:33,061 --> 00:11:34,326
You're right.
276
00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:35,862
And probably
just as big a liar.
277
00:11:35,997 --> 00:11:39,199
I bet he wants to take us
off the gold standard, too.
278
00:11:40,668 --> 00:11:42,935
That was just a little joke
nobody got.
279
00:11:42,937 --> 00:11:45,071
Mm, I love you.
280
00:11:45,073 --> 00:11:47,807
[ thunder rumbles ]
281
00:11:47,942 --> 00:11:50,410
[ thunder crashes ]
282
00:11:51,746 --> 00:11:53,546
Fear not!
The mountain,
283
00:11:53,681 --> 00:11:56,883
She will provide us shelter
from the passing storm!
284
00:11:56,885 --> 00:11:58,551
Oh, yes,
mother mountain,
285
00:11:58,686 --> 00:12:02,222
She will nestle us in the
cleavage of her rock-hard tits.
286
00:12:02,356 --> 00:12:03,556
Aah!
287
00:12:03,691 --> 00:12:06,759
Chimborazo, she is
a dangerous slut.
288
00:12:06,895 --> 00:12:12,832
♪♪
289
00:12:12,967 --> 00:12:13,900
Where are we?
290
00:12:13,902 --> 00:12:15,501
Inside a crystal geode
291
00:12:15,637 --> 00:12:19,105
That has grown within
the mountain for eons.
292
00:12:19,107 --> 00:12:22,242
Some call this
the heart of chimborazo.
293
00:12:22,377 --> 00:12:26,379
I have to admit,
I feel a little...Good.
294
00:12:26,514 --> 00:12:29,782
It is believed that these
crystals have healing powers.
295
00:12:29,784 --> 00:12:33,185
It's how I've managed
to stay in such good shape
296
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:35,622
Even though
I'm 97 years old.
297
00:12:37,391 --> 00:12:39,859
Okay, I can't fight it
anymore.
298
00:12:39,994 --> 00:12:42,262
I'm having
a wonderful time.
299
00:12:42,396 --> 00:12:45,064
Oh, my god. Thank you.
I love this mountain.
300
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:46,666
But when we find
your father,
301
00:12:46,801 --> 00:12:49,201
We can't tell him that
we enjoyed ourselves, okay?
302
00:12:49,337 --> 00:12:51,271
I'm still very mad
at him.
303
00:12:51,405 --> 00:12:54,540
I mean, pretty mad.
I think?
304
00:12:54,676 --> 00:12:59,079
I don't know, I feel so amazing
in this [bleep] cave.
305
00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:01,147
Come,
the rain has passed.
306
00:13:01,149 --> 00:13:02,615
We must go.
307
00:13:02,617 --> 00:13:05,084
Too long in here,
you turn into a baby.
308
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:06,619
Steve: Dad.
309
00:13:06,754 --> 00:13:07,887
Look who decided
to climb
310
00:13:08,022 --> 00:13:09,956
The crappy mountain
that no one likes
311
00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:11,557
To find the dad
that everyone hates.
312
00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:14,560
You're alive.
But you look terrible.
313
00:13:14,696 --> 00:13:16,162
This mountain is hell.
314
00:13:16,164 --> 00:13:18,498
I crossed a river of sulfur,
bramble fields,
315
00:13:18,633 --> 00:13:20,300
And there were
so many spiders.
316
00:13:20,435 --> 00:13:23,102
Sounds like
you traveled through
317
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:26,973
El valle azufre de araas y zarzas --
318
00:13:27,108 --> 00:13:29,442
The sulfurous brambly valley
of spiders.
319
00:13:29,577 --> 00:13:31,644
Oh, I see you made a friend.
That's fun.
320
00:13:31,646 --> 00:13:34,114
I met a pack of wolves
that stole my shoes.
321
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:37,449
Stan, I'm sorry
that you had a tough time.
322
00:13:37,451 --> 00:13:39,852
But that doesn't change
the fact that --
323
00:13:39,988 --> 00:13:42,188
No.
I will not stand for this.
324
00:13:42,324 --> 00:13:45,257
I must defend the honor
of this broken man.
325
00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:47,660
Everyone can tell
he is a simple,
326
00:13:47,662 --> 00:13:50,196
Working man
that makes very little money.
327
00:13:50,332 --> 00:13:52,332
-I mean, I do alright.
-He tries his best
328
00:13:52,467 --> 00:13:55,868
To provide his family with fun,
affordable vacation,
329
00:13:55,870 --> 00:13:57,337
And what do you people do?
330
00:13:57,472 --> 00:14:00,406
You complain
about everything.
331
00:14:00,542 --> 00:14:03,876
Yeah. Aw, man,
I spit on my sandals.
332
00:14:04,012 --> 00:14:06,145
Ooh, I can't lie.
333
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,882
The truth is, we've had
a wonderful time.
334
00:14:09,884 --> 00:14:11,617
We love chimborazo.
335
00:14:11,753 --> 00:14:14,286
I've secretly treasured
every moment.
336
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:16,756
And I love this monkey!
337
00:14:16,891 --> 00:14:19,826
I can't wait to tell everyone
I know about this place.
338
00:14:19,961 --> 00:14:23,496
Oh, yeah, everybody is going
to hear about this mountain.
339
00:14:23,631 --> 00:14:26,966
As soon as I have service,
I'm gonna blow instagram up.
340
00:14:27,101 --> 00:14:29,301
Click.
-That's not a click.
341
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:31,571
This is a click.
342
00:14:31,706 --> 00:14:33,505
I'm partial to clacks
myself.
343
00:14:33,507 --> 00:14:35,107
-Enough.
-[ grunts ]
344
00:14:35,109 --> 00:14:36,576
Vicente,
what are you doing?
345
00:14:36,711 --> 00:14:41,313
I'm doing my job.
My real job.
346
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:44,450
You see, I'm not actually
a sexy waiter
347
00:14:44,452 --> 00:14:46,318
Or a super-hot
mountain guide.
348
00:14:46,454 --> 00:14:50,656
I am...The protector
of chimborazo.
349
00:14:50,792 --> 00:14:52,258
[ thunder crashes ]
350
00:14:52,394 --> 00:14:54,927
And as the protector
of chimborazo,
351
00:14:55,063 --> 00:14:57,463
I must kill you all.
352
00:14:57,599 --> 00:15:00,266
Because I took a dump
in that crystal cave?
353
00:15:00,402 --> 00:15:01,667
You did what?
354
00:15:01,803 --> 00:15:04,336
I must kill you
to keep this sacred place
355
00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:07,006
From being ruined
like everest has been.
356
00:15:07,141 --> 00:15:09,609
I won't let it be flooded
with stupid tourists.
357
00:15:09,744 --> 00:15:14,947
And thus your family cannot live
to tell the tale of chimborazo.
358
00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:18,284
As we say in ecuador,
saw-wee.
359
00:15:22,365 --> 00:15:25,233
Ugh, secret protector
of the mountain?
360
00:15:25,368 --> 00:15:27,301
Boring.
I've lost all interest.
361
00:15:27,437 --> 00:15:29,303
I was hoping his secret
was something impressive,
362
00:15:29,305 --> 00:15:30,704
Like he could blow
himself.
363
00:15:30,706 --> 00:15:32,506
Where are you taking us,
vicente?
364
00:15:32,508 --> 00:15:35,176
To el culo del diablo que pica,
365
00:15:35,311 --> 00:15:37,711
The devil's
itchy butthole.
366
00:15:37,713 --> 00:15:40,648
Where I'm going to throw you
into a pit of hot magma.
367
00:15:40,650 --> 00:15:43,184
We never would have told
anybody about this place
368
00:15:43,319 --> 00:15:45,186
Until you made us
fall in love with it.
369
00:15:45,321 --> 00:15:47,054
I always end up
doing this.
370
00:15:47,056 --> 00:15:50,792
I feel compelled to show people
the beauty of chimborazo,
371
00:15:50,926 --> 00:15:53,461
And then I feel compelled
to kill them.
372
00:15:53,463 --> 00:15:54,862
Dad, do something.
373
00:15:54,998 --> 00:15:56,598
Oh, I thought
I couldn't do anything right.
374
00:15:56,732 --> 00:15:58,866
But now that you want
me to save your lives,
375
00:15:58,868 --> 00:16:00,668
I'm mr. Popularity.
376
00:16:00,804 --> 00:16:02,337
Well, okay.
377
00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:07,475
So...Weak...
Maybe...From the...
378
00:16:07,610 --> 00:16:09,844
Many dozens
of spider bites.
379
00:16:12,682 --> 00:16:14,282
Sure, sure I know three
of these are nipples,
380
00:16:14,417 --> 00:16:16,217
But it's still a lot.
381
00:16:16,352 --> 00:16:18,952
[ both grunting ]
382
00:16:18,954 --> 00:16:27,028
♪♪
383
00:16:27,163 --> 00:16:31,165
Whew! Okay, I know
we're supposed to be fighting,
384
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:33,567
But that was...
-Amazing.
385
00:16:33,703 --> 00:16:35,769
Where'd you learn
to zorb like that?
386
00:16:35,905 --> 00:16:38,772
Every night,
I have the same dream.
387
00:16:38,908 --> 00:16:41,308
And in the dream
I am zorbing.
388
00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:42,643
Same.
389
00:16:42,778 --> 00:16:44,778
I never thought
I'd find someone
390
00:16:44,780 --> 00:16:47,314
That loves zorbs as much
as I do.
391
00:16:47,316 --> 00:16:51,185
I never thought I'd meet
such a cute fish.
392
00:16:51,187 --> 00:16:52,186
[ both moan ]
393
00:16:52,188 --> 00:16:53,454
I'm kissing.
394
00:16:53,589 --> 00:16:55,389
I can't wait for you
to meet my family
395
00:16:55,525 --> 00:16:56,990
When they get back
with vicente.
396
00:16:56,992 --> 00:16:58,059
They're with vicente?
397
00:16:58,194 --> 00:16:59,360
Oh, no.
398
00:17:03,332 --> 00:17:04,465
[ all gasp ]
399
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,268
The devil's
itchy butthole.
400
00:17:07,403 --> 00:17:10,204
A suitable end for those
who would threaten
401
00:17:10,339 --> 00:17:13,607
The pristine beauty
of chimborazo.
402
00:17:13,609 --> 00:17:17,578
But we aren't.
I swear, we would never --
403
00:17:18,214 --> 00:17:19,347
My bad.
404
00:17:19,482 --> 00:17:20,814
Dad's useless.
405
00:17:20,950 --> 00:17:22,550
So we need to do something
about vicente.
406
00:17:22,685 --> 00:17:24,552
One thing I've noticed
about vicente --
407
00:17:24,554 --> 00:17:27,021
He is very horny
for this mountain.
408
00:17:27,156 --> 00:17:30,692
[ gasps ] we can use his love
of the mountain against him.
409
00:17:30,826 --> 00:17:32,560
Yeah. We'll trick him
into showing us
410
00:17:32,562 --> 00:17:33,761
More and more
of the mountain
411
00:17:33,897 --> 00:17:35,229
Until we have a chance
to escape.
412
00:17:35,364 --> 00:17:36,830
Alright, vicente.
413
00:17:36,832 --> 00:17:39,433
You might as well just
go ahead and throw us in.
414
00:17:39,569 --> 00:17:43,237
We've seen all there is
to see on ol' chimborazo.
415
00:17:43,372 --> 00:17:45,839
[ chuckles ] oh.
Oh, far from it.
416
00:17:45,841 --> 00:17:48,442
She's barely pulled up
her dress for you.
417
00:17:48,444 --> 00:17:51,512
You're saying there's more
to this beautiful mountain?
418
00:17:51,647 --> 00:17:56,918
Ugh, I know I should just
throw you in the magma, but...
419
00:18:01,056 --> 00:18:03,591
[ dragons screeching ]
420
00:18:03,726 --> 00:18:06,727
[ mouse squeaking ]
421
00:18:06,862 --> 00:18:08,730
-Whoa.
-It's incredible.
422
00:18:08,864 --> 00:18:11,198
These creatures are found
only here
423
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,801
Near the top
of chimborazo.
424
00:18:13,937 --> 00:18:16,470
You are one
of the few outsiders
425
00:18:16,606 --> 00:18:18,339
To ever see them.
426
00:18:19,408 --> 00:18:20,874
Wow, cool bird.
427
00:18:20,876 --> 00:18:24,278
We call that one
feather bent squawkadelic.
428
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:25,679
Wow, cool name.
429
00:18:25,815 --> 00:18:28,349
This sleeve
of enchanted e.L. Fudges
430
00:18:28,484 --> 00:18:30,551
Has got me feeling
right as rain.
431
00:18:30,686 --> 00:18:32,353
I know he wants
to kill us,
432
00:18:32,488 --> 00:18:35,222
But I kind of agree
with vicente.
433
00:18:35,358 --> 00:18:38,426
It would be terrible if
tourists ruined this mountain.
434
00:18:38,561 --> 00:18:40,894
Yeah,
this place is special.
435
00:18:40,896 --> 00:18:44,432
Well, well, well.
Chimborazo, eh?
436
00:18:44,567 --> 00:18:46,100
Not such a bad idea
after all.
437
00:18:46,235 --> 00:18:49,503
Three cheers for stan!
Father of the year!
438
00:18:49,639 --> 00:18:51,905
Squawk, squawk, squawk!
439
00:18:52,041 --> 00:18:57,645
♪♪
440
00:18:57,780 --> 00:19:01,114
Francine: She really is
quite the mountain.
441
00:19:01,116 --> 00:19:02,650
She sure is.
442
00:19:02,785 --> 00:19:04,251
Wait a minute,
I just remembered --
443
00:19:04,387 --> 00:19:05,386
We're about to get murdered.
444
00:19:05,521 --> 00:19:06,787
It's always something.
445
00:19:06,922 --> 00:19:08,589
You can never just enjoy
the moment.
446
00:19:08,724 --> 00:19:10,191
[ chainsaw buzzing ]
447
00:19:10,326 --> 00:19:15,396
♪♪
448
00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:19,533
Pixar is back
to make their alpaca movie.
449
00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:22,336
This ends now.
450
00:19:22,471 --> 00:19:23,471
Why don't you use
your gun?
451
00:19:23,606 --> 00:19:25,206
That's not a gun.
452
00:19:25,341 --> 00:19:27,541
It is another
amazing creature
453
00:19:27,677 --> 00:19:31,012
Found only
on chimborazo.
454
00:19:31,147 --> 00:19:33,347
[ squeaks ]
455
00:19:33,482 --> 00:19:36,350
[ grunts ]
456
00:19:36,485 --> 00:19:38,151
This mountain
is too important.
457
00:19:38,153 --> 00:19:40,488
We must join vicente
and fight for it!
458
00:19:40,623 --> 00:19:42,155
For chimborazo!
459
00:19:42,157 --> 00:19:45,292
[ all cheer ]
squawk! Squawk! Squawk!
460
00:19:45,294 --> 00:19:47,294
Let's beat up some nerds!
461
00:19:47,430 --> 00:19:49,230
[ all grunting ]
462
00:19:49,365 --> 00:19:55,036
♪♪
463
00:19:55,171 --> 00:19:59,373
Next time you'll think twice
before you mess with pixar.
464
00:19:59,508 --> 00:20:01,609
[ laughing ]
465
00:20:06,515 --> 00:20:09,383
-Is that...?
-Guys, I met someone.
466
00:20:09,385 --> 00:20:12,319
I'm in love.
-Abuelo!
467
00:20:12,321 --> 00:20:15,188
Esmeralda!
Pixar is back!
468
00:20:15,190 --> 00:20:17,458
[ gasps ]
469
00:20:17,593 --> 00:20:20,928
♪♪
470
00:20:21,064 --> 00:20:23,731
[ people scream ]
471
00:20:25,601 --> 00:20:26,734
-Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
-Yeah!
472
00:20:26,869 --> 00:20:29,336
-Yeah! Suck it, pixar!
-Suck it, pixar!
473
00:20:29,338 --> 00:20:30,872
I misjudged
this family.
474
00:20:31,006 --> 00:20:33,541
You are pure of heart
and spirit.
475
00:20:33,676 --> 00:20:35,609
You love this mountain
as I do.
476
00:20:35,745 --> 00:20:37,879
I name you all
henceforth
477
00:20:38,013 --> 00:20:41,482
Fellow protectors
of chimborazo.
478
00:20:41,617 --> 00:20:42,884
Thank you,
vicente.
479
00:20:43,018 --> 00:20:44,618
Do we actually have to do
anything?
480
00:20:44,754 --> 00:20:46,554
With that pixar movie
shelved,
481
00:20:46,689 --> 00:20:49,891
Chimborazo shall remain
a secret forever.
482
00:20:50,025 --> 00:20:58,165
♪♪
483
00:20:58,301 --> 00:21:00,201
Bye! Have a great time!
35273
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